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Mark Twain on whether Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare

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Scattered here and there through the stacks of unpublished manuscript which constitute this formidable Autobiography and Diary of mine, certain chapters will in some distant future be found which deal with "Claimants"--claimants historically notorious: Satan, Claimant; the Golden Calf, Claimant; the Veiled Prophet of Khorassan, Claimant; Louis XVII., Claimant; William Shakespeare, Claimant; Arthur Orton, Claimant; Mary Baker G. Eddy, Claimant--and the rest of them. Eminent Claimants, successful Claimants, defeated Claimants, royal Claimants, pleb Claimants, showy Claimants, shabby Claimants, revered Claimants, despised Claimants, twinkle star-like here and there and yonder through the mists of history and legend and tradition--and, oh, all the darling tribe are clothed in mystery and romance, and we read about them with deep interest and discuss them with loving sympathy or with rancorous resentment, according to which side we hitch ourselves to. It has always been so with the human race. There was never a Claimant that couldn't get a hearing, nor one that couldn't accumulate a rapturous following, no matter how flimsy and apparently unauthentic his claim might be. Arthur Orton's claim that he was the lost Tichborne baronet come to life again was as flimsy as Mrs. Eddy's that she wrote SCIENCE AND HEALTH from the direct dictation of the Deity; yet in England nearly forty years ago Orton had a huge army of devotees and incorrigible adherents, many of whom remained stubbornly unconvinced after their fat god had been proven an impostor and jailed as a perjurer, and today Mrs. Eddy's following is not only immense, but is daily augmenting in numbers and enthusiasm. Orton had many fine and educated minds among his adherents, Mrs. Eddy has had the like among hers from the beginning. Her Church is as well equipped in those particulars as is any other Church. Claimants can always count upon a following, it doesn't matter who they are, nor what they claim, nor whether they come with documents or without. It was always so. Down out of the long-vanished past, across the abyss of the ages, if you listen, you can still hear the believing multitudes shouting for Perkin Warbeck and Lambert Simnel.

A friend has sent me a new book, from England--THE SHAKESPEARE PROBLEM RESTATED--well restated and closely reasoned; and my fifty years' interest in that matter--asleep for the last three years--is excited once more. It is an interest which was born of Delia Bacon's book--away back in that ancient day--1857, or maybe 1856. About a year later my pilot-master, Bixby, transferred me from his own steamboat to the PENNSYLVANIA, and placed me under the orders and instructions of George Ealer--dead now, these many, many years. I steered for him a good many months--as was the humble duty of the pilot-apprentice: stood a daylight watch and spun the wheel under the severe superintendence and correction of the master. He was a prime chess-player and an idolater of Shakespeare. He would play chess with anybody; even with me, and it cost his official dignity something to do that. Also--quite uninvited--he would read Shakespeare to me; not just casually, but by the hour, when it was his watch and I was steering. He read well, but not profitably for me, because he constantly injected commands into the text. That broke it all up, mixed it all up, tangled it all up--to that degree, in fact, that if we were in a risky and difficult piece of river an ignorant person couldn't have told, sometimes, which observations were Shakespeare's and which were Ealer's. For instance:

What man dare, I dare!

Approach thou WHAT are you laying in the leads for? what a hell of an idea! like the rugged ease her off a little, ease her off! rugged Russian bear, the armed rhinoceros or the THERE she goes! meet her, meet her! didn't you KNOW she'd smell the reef if you crowded it like that? Hyrcan tiger; take any shape but that and my firm nerves she'll be in the WOODS the first you know! stop the starboard! come ahead strong on the larboard! back the starboard!... NOW then, you're all right; come ahead on the starboard; straighten up and go 'long, never tremble: or be alive again, and dare me to the desert DAMNATION can't you keep away from that greasy water? pull her down! snatch her! snatch her baldheaded! with thy sword; if trembling I inhabit then, lay in the leads!--no, only with the starboard one, leave the other alone, protest me the baby of a girl. Hence horrible shadow! eight bells--that watchman's asleep again, I reckon, go down and call Brown yourself, unreal mockery, hence!

He certainly was a good reader, and splendidly thrilling and stormy and tragic, but it was a damage to me, because I have never since been able to read Shakespeare in a calm and sane way. I cannot rid it of his explosive interlardings, they break in everywhere with their irrelevant, "What in hell are you up to NOW! pull her down! more! MORE!--there now, steady as you go," and the other disorganizing interruptions that were always leaping from his mouth. When I read Shakespeare now I can hear them as plainly as I did in that long-departed time--fifty-one years ago. I never regarded Ealer's readings as educational. Indeed, they were a detriment to me.

His contributions to the text seldom improved it, but barring that detail he was a good reader; I can say that much for him. He did not use the book, and did not need to; he knew his Shakespeare as well as Euclid ever knew his multiplication table.

Did he have something to say--this Shakespeare-adoring Mississippi pilot--anent Delia Bacon's book?

Yes. And he said it; said it all the time, for months--in the morning watch, the middle watch, and dog watch; and probably kept it going in his sleep. He bought the literature of the dispute as fast as it appeared, and we discussed it all through thirteen hundred miles of river four times traversed in every thirty-five days--the time required by that swift boat to achieve two round trips. We discussed, and discussed, and discussed, and disputed and disputed and disputed; at any rate, HE did, and I got in a word now and then when he slipped a cog and there was a vacancy. He did his arguing with heat, with energy, with violence; and I did mine with the reserve and moderation of a subordinate who does not like to be flung out of a pilot-house that is perched forty feet above the water. He was fiercely loyal to Shakespeare and cordially scornful of Bacon and of all the pretensions of the Baconians. So was I--at first. And at first he was glad that that was my attitude. There were even indications that he admired it; indications dimmed, it is true, by the distance that lay between the lofty boss-pilotical altitude and my lowly one, yet perceptible to me; perceptible, and translatable into a compliment--compliment coming down from above the snow-line and not well thawed in the transit, and not likely to set anything afire, not even a cub-pilot's self-conceit; still a detectable complement, and precious.

Naturally it flattered me into being more loyal to Shakespeare--if possible--than I was before, and more prejudiced against Bacon--if possible--than I was before. And so we discussed and discussed, both on the same side, and were happy. For a while. Only for a while. Only for a very little while, a very, very, very little while. Then the atmosphere began to change; began to cool off.

A brighter person would have seen what the trouble was, earlier than I did, perhaps, but I saw it early enough for all practical purposes. You see, he was of an argumentative disposition. Therefore it took him but a little time to get tired of arguing with a person who agreed with everything he said and consequently never furnished him a provocative to flare up and show what he could do when it came to clear, cold, hard, rose-cut, hundred-faceted, diamond-flashing REASONING. That was his name for it. It has been applied since, with complacency, as many as several times, in the Bacon-Shakespeare scuffle. On the Shakespeare side.

Then the thing happened which has happened to more persons than to me when principle and personal interest found themselves in opposition to each other and a choice had to be made: I let principle go, and went over to the other side. Not the entire way, but far enough to answer the requirements of the case. That is to say, I took this attitude--to wit, I only BELIEVED Bacon wrote Shakespeare, whereas I KNEW Shakespeare didn't. Ealer was satisfied with that, and the war broke loose. Study, practice, experience in handling my end of the matter presently enabled me to take my new position almost seriously; a little bit later, utterly seriously; a little later still, lovingly, gratefully, devotedly; finally: fiercely, rabidly, uncompromisingly. After that I was welded to my faith, I was theoretically ready to die for it, and I looked down with compassion not unmixed with scorn upon everybody else's faith that didn't tally with mine. That faith, imposed upon me by self-interest in that ancient day, remains my faith today, and in it I find comfort, solace, peace, and never-failing joy. You see how curiously theological it is. The "rice Christian" of the Orient goes through the very same steps, when he is after rice and the missionary is after HIM; he goes for rice, and remains to worship.

Ealer did a lot of our "reasoning"--not to say substantially all of it. The slaves of his cult have a passion for calling it by that large name. We others do not call our inductions and deductions and reductions by any name at all. They show for themselves what they are, and we can with tranquil confidence leave the world to ennoble them with a title of its own choosing.

Now and then when Ealer had to stop to cough, I pulled my induction-talents together and hove the controversial lead myself: always getting eight feet, eight and a half, often nine, sometimes even quarter-less-twain--as _I_ believed; but always "no bottom," as HE said.

I got the best of him only once. I prepared myself. I wrote out a passage from Shakespeare--it may have been the very one I quoted awhile ago, I don't remember--and riddled it with his wild steamboatful interlardings. When an unrisky opportunity offered, one lovely summer day, when we had sounded and buoyed a tangled patch of crossings known as Hell's Half Acre, and were aboard again and he had sneaked the PENNSYLVANIA triumphantly through it without once scraping sand, and the A. T. LACEY had followed in our wake and got stuck, and he was feeling good, I showed it to him. It amused him. I asked him to fire it off--READ it; read it, I diplomatically added, as only HE could read dramatic poetry. The compliment touched him where he lived. He did read it; read it with surpassing fire and spirit; read it as it will never be read again; for HE knew how to put the right music into those thunderous interlardings and make them seem a part of the text, make them sound as if they were bursting from Shakespeare's own soul, each one of them a golden inspiration and not to be left out without damage to the massed and magnificent whole.

I waited a week, to let the incident fade; waited longer; waited until he brought up for reasonings and vituperation my pet position, my pet argument, the one which I was fondest of, the one which I prized far above all others in my ammunition-wagon--to wit, that Shakespeare couldn't have written Shakespeare's works, for the reason that the man who wrote them was limitlessly familiar with the laws, and the law-courts, and law-proceedings, and lawyer-talk, and lawyer-ways--and if Shakespeare was possessed of the infinitely divided star-dust that constituted this vast wealth, HOW did he get it, and WHERE and WHEN?

"From books."

From books! That was always the idea. I answered as my readings of the champions of my side of the great controversy had taught me to answer: that a man can't handle glibly and easily and comfortably and successfully the argot of a trade at which he has not personally served. He will make mistakes; he will not, and cannot, get the trade-phrasings precisely and exactly right; and the moment he departs, by even a shade, from a common trade-form, the reader who has served that trade will know the writer HASN'T. Ealer would not be convinced; he said a man could learn how to correctly handle the subtleties and mysteries and free-masonries of ANY trade by careful reading and studying. But when I got him to read again the passage from Shakespeare with the interlardings, he perceived, himself, that books couldn't teach a student a bewildering multitude of pilot-phrases so thoroughly and perfectly that he could talk them off in book and play or conversation and make no mistake that a pilot would not immediately discover. It was a triumph for me. He was silent awhile, and I knew what was happening--he was losing his temper. And I knew he would presently close the session with the same old argument that was always his stay and his support in time of need; the same old argument, the one I couldn't answer, because I dasn't--the argument that I was an ass, and better shut up. He delivered it, and I obeyed.

O dear, how long ago it was--how pathetically long ago! And here am I, old, forsaken, forlorn, and alone, arranging to get that argument out of somebody again.

When a man has a passion for Shakespeare, it goes without saying that he keeps company with other standard authors. Ealer always had several high-class books in the pilot-house, and he read the same ones over and over again, and did not care to change to newer and fresher ones. He played well on the flute, and greatly enjoyed hearing himself play. So did I. He had a notion that a flute would keep its health better if you took it apart when it was not standing a watch; and so, when it was not on duty it took its rest, disjointed, on the compass-shelf under the breastboard. When the PENNSYLVANIA blew up and became a drifting rack-heap freighted with wounded and dying poor souls (my young brother Henry among them), pilot Brown had the watch below, and was probably asleep and never knew what killed him; but Ealer escaped unhurt. He and his pilot-house were shot up into the air; then they fell, and Ealer sank through the ragged cavern where the hurricane-deck and the boiler-deck had been, and landed in a nest of ruins on the main deck, on top of one of the unexploded boilers, where he lay prone in a fog of scald and deadly steam. But not for long. He did not lose his head--long familiarity with danger had taught him to keep it, in any and all emergencies. He held his coat-lapels to his nose with one hand, to keep out the steam, and scrabbled around with the other till he found the joints of his flute, then he took measures to save himself alive, and was successful. I was not on board. I had been put ashore in New Orleans by Captain Klinefelter. The reason--however, I have told all about it in the book called OLD TIMES ON THE MISSISSIPPI, and it isn't important, anyway, it is so long ago.

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  • Originally published: Thursday, 21 April 2016
  • Body text - Copyright free: Mark Twain
  • Image 'Queen Victoria on William Shakespeare' - Copyright free: The Royal Collection
  • Image 'Ralph Waldo Emerson on Shakespeare's craft' - Copyright free: Library of Congress
  • Image 'Leo Tolstoy on King Lear' - Mat Fascione under Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0 license
  • Image 'Mark Twain on whether Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare' - Copyright free: Napoleon Sarony / New York Library Digital Collections

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Twain House conference asks, as Twain did: Who…

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Fire breaks out in attic of ct home; no injuries reported, news connecticut news, twain house conference asks, as twain did: who really wrote shakespeare’s plays.

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The Shakespeare Oxford Fellowship is holding a conference at the Mark Twain House and Museum in Hartford. That means a bunch of people who believe that Shakespeare didn’t write Shakespeare are holding a conference at the historic home of one of the all-time great believers in that theory.

The fellowship and Twain don’t happen to agree on who wrote Shakespeare’s plays, but they do agree that it was not the man from Stratford-on-Avon named William Shakespeare.

Twain was the author of “Is Shakespeare Dead?,” an essay published 110 years ago that insists that “the Stratford Shakespeare couldn’t have written the works.” Among other things, Twain argues that:

“The author of the plays was equipped, beyond every other man of his time, with wisdom, erudition, imagination, capaciousness of mind, grace and majesty of expression. Every one has said it, no one doubts it. Also, he had humor, humor in rich abundance, and always wanting to break out. We have no evidence of any kind that Shakespeare of Stratford possessed any of these gifts or any of these acquirements. The only lines he ever wrote, so far as we know, are substantially barren of them — barren of all of them.”

Twain was a Baconian, believing that the British philosopher and scientist Francis Bacon was Shakespeare. Oxfordians believe that Edward De Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford and a noted patron of the arts, was the Bard. There are those in both factions that believe the real author left coded clues to his real identity in Shakespeare’s works.

Baconians and Oxfordians both argue that the Stratford Shakespeare could not have had the cultural, geographical and legal knowledge that is apparent in the plays.

A highlight of the Oxford Fellowship conference at the Twain House is Canadian actor Keir Cutler’s performance of his one-man show “Is Shakespeare Dead?,” based on the Twain essay.

Cutler says he himself isn’t an Oxfordian or a Baconian. He’s just opposed to the way that most scholars completely dismiss the entire authorship question.

“I have a PhD in theater,” Cutler says. “In theater studies, if the authorship question comes up, you’re told it’s nonsense, or a hoax, like the moon-landing conspiracy. When I did some research on it, I got angry. There’s a very solid argument that the man from Stratford did not write these plays. I don’t support any alternate writer to Shakespeare. My position is that we just don’t know.

“I wanted to do a one-man show on the Shakespeare authorship question. I wanted it to be humorous. Because it’s so entertaining, it’s disarming. I didn’t know at first where the humor was in this story, but Twain sure did.

“Only 60 percent of the play is Twain. The rest is information or jokes from other sources.”

Cutler performs it not in the character of the author (“This is not like ‘An Evening with Mark Twain.'”) but “in a lawyer’s outfit. I’m giving a closing argument at a trial, telling the story of Shakespeare from a sarcastic point of view.”

Cutler, who has written more than a dozen other plays (“Shakespeare Crackpot?” and “Teaching Hamlet” among them), has been performing his “Is Shakespeare Dead?” since 2002.

“It’s been well-received everywhere I’ve performed it, partly because it’s so funny.

The actor is looking forward to his first visit to Hartford, and performing “Is Shakespeare Dead?” at a place where its author lived.

“Hopefully, Mark Twain’s ghost will rise for the occasion.”

“Is Shakespeare Dead?” has a $20 admission fee, but several of the Shakespeare Oxford Fellowship conference events at the Mark Twain House and Museum are free and open to the general public, including:

A talk by writer Hank Whittemore on “The Launch of the Pen Name: Who Knew What and When?” at 4:45 p.m. Oct. 17

Richard Waugaman, clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University, with “Did Shakespeare Write Shake-Speare? — Internal and External Meanings of Pen Names” at 5:30 p.m. Oct. 18

Retired University of Minnesota professor James Norwood discussing “Mark Twain and Shake-Speare: Soul Mates,” at 4:45 p.m. Oct. 19

Bonner Miller Cutting on “Connecting the Dots: How a man who could scarcely write his name became revered as the greatest writer of the English language” 9 a.m. Oct. 20

And Robert Meyers, president emeritus of the National Press Foundation, asking “Was It Really William? — an overview of the Shakespeare Authorship Question” at 11 a.m. Oct. 20.

Those are the free public talks. There are more than 30 presentations in all.

Besides members of the fellowship, the conference and performance are free to “any student or faculty member of any college or university with proper identification from anywhere in the greater Hartford area.”

A complete schedule can be found at ShakespeareOxfordFellowship.org .

THE SHAKESPEARE OXFORD FELLOWSHIP conference is Oct. 17 to 20 at the Mark Twain House and Museum, 351 Farmington Ave., Hartford. Several of the presentations are free and open to the general public. Keir Cutler’s 7:30 p.m. Oct. 19 performance of Mark Twain’s “Is Shakespeare Dead?” is $20. marktwainhouse.org .

Christopher Arnott can be reached at [email protected] .

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In This Article Expand or collapse the "in this article" section Mark Twain

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Mark Twain by Laura Skandera Trombley , Ann M. Ryan LAST REVIEWED: 07 February 2022 LAST MODIFIED: 29 August 2012 DOI: 10.1093/obo/9780199827251-0093

The pseudonym “Mark Twain” does less to conceal the identity of Samuel Langhorne Clemens than to manifest—and market—its many contradictions. Born to slave-owning parents in the border state of Missouri on 30 November 1835, Mark Twain would eventually publish the memoirs of Ulysses Grant and befriend Frederick Douglass. Through works such as Roughing It (1872), The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876), Life on the Mississippi (1883), and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), Mark Twain—a former riverboat pilot and bohemian humorist—became an icon of American simplicity. Nonetheless, his appetite for material gain led him to bankruptcy in 1893, like the Hawkins family in his coauthored novel The Gilded Age (1873). Despite his small-town roots, Twain spent years traveling abroad, which he documents in several memoirs, beginning with The Innocents Abroad (1869), his satire of European superiority and American pretensions, and continuing with A Tramp Abroad (1880) and Following the Equator (1897). When he returns to the Mississippi River valley in Puddn’head Wilson (1894), America seems a parochial counterpoint to European sophistication. Twain develops the travel motif—across time as well as space—in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889); eventually, he explores metaphysical regions in Captain Stormfield’s Visit to Heaven (1909) and The Mysterious Stranger manuscripts (1890–1910). Mark Twain’s cultural legacy is often associated with his religious and political satires, where he exposes the myths of colonialism and the atrocities of war. However, Twain also indulged in sentimentality in works such as The Prince and the Pauper (1882) and Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc (1896). Member of a bohemian class of western writers, Twain discovered fame as the author of “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County” (1867). Yet when he died on 21 April 1910, Twain was firmly a part of the eastern cultural elite. Mark Twain’s affect upon American culture can hardly be overstated, though it has frequently been romanticized. W. D. Howells described Mark Twain as “the Lincoln of our literature,” and Hemingway claimed that “all modern American literature” came from Huckleberry Finn . Twain wrote plays, novels, short fiction, and a sprawling, experimental autobiography; he was an essayist, journalist, performer, public intellectual, and raconteur. As a writer, Samuel Clemens became what he claimed James Fenimore Cooper was not, “a word musician,” discovering poetry in the American vernacular, and, in the persona of “Mark Twain,” authoring his most singular and lasting creation.

While there is always an abundance of materials about Twain and his writings, there are a number of works that provide valuable overviews of various aspects of his writings, his use of humor, and his particular interests. Each has a different emphasis, Anderson 1971 and Budd 1999 (both cited under Reception History ) emphasize his reviews, while Cox 1966 provides an overview of his earliest to his later writings. Camfield 2003 is subject-driven, and Gibson 1976 looks at the multiple genres Twain chose for his prose palette. Quirk 2007 and Robinson 1986 explore central issues in Twain’s writings—human nature and deception, respectively, and Smith 1962 examines his extraordinary development as a writer. All provide interesting and accessible entree into Twain’s thoughts and prose.

Camfield, Gregg, ed. The Oxford Companion to Mark Twain . New York: Oxford University Press, 2003.

An essay collection containing worthwhile pieces by multiple writers on censorship, critical reception, realism, etiquette, performance, and technology, among other subjects. There is also a useful bibliography and chronology of Twain’s life, work, and times.

Cox, James M. Mark Twain: The Fate of Humor . Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1966.

Excellent account of the development of Twain’s humor from his earliest sketches to his unfinished manuscript, The Mysterious Stranger . Cox’s study remains valuable for its examination of the growth of Twain’s humor from easy targets to more sophisticated social commentary. Includes a useful chronology of Twain’s major works. Reprinted in 2002 (Columbia: University of Missouri Press).

Gibson, William M. The Art of Mark Twain . New York: Oxford University Press, 1976.

A survey of Twain’s literary achievements in the many modes and genres he chose. Discusses various approaches to interpreting his works, with copious attention paid to his shorter pieces.

Quirk, Tom. Mark Twain and Human Nature . Columbia: University of Missouri Press, 2007.

A study about Twain’s preoccupation with human nature, divided into six chronological eras containing historical landmarks. Quirk includes a mention of social scientists whose theories particularly interested Twain: William E. H. Lecky, William James, and Charles Darwin. He also documents Twain’s evolving thoughts within his literary works and notebooks.

Robinson, Forrest G. In Bad Faith: The Dynamics of Deception in Mark Twain’s America . Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1986.

The social dynamics of “bad faith” consists of self-deceptions that take place when public ideals are violated. Focusing on Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn , Robinson examines an underlying theme: the dissonance between one’s beliefs, one’s actions, and how behavior is interpreted. He investigates Twain’s dark perspective regarding humankind’s nature, as well as Twain’s complicated relationship with his audience.

Smith, Henry Nash. Mark Twain: The Development of a Writer . Cambridge, MA: Belknap, 1962.

Chronological account of Twain’s career as a writer, discussing his best-known works. Smith contends that Twain struggled between his era’s conventionalism and his work as a humorist, and he demonstrates how this tension played out in works from The Innocents Abroad to Puddn’head Wilson . Twain’s development from an anecdotal storyteller to an acerbic satirist is documented.

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Mark Twain: Essays Quotes

By mark twain.

These notes were contributed by members of the GradeSaver community. We are thankful for their contributions and encourage you to make your own.

Written by Timothy Sexton

“There have been daring people in the world who claimed that Cooper could write English, but they are all dead now.” Mark Twain

Let’s not beat around the bush: Mark Twain really, really did not think much of James Fenimore Cooper or his novels. The man was clearly talented and wildly popular (two things which, of course, do not necessarily go together), but Twain only saw him as a hack. This is actually one of the nicer quotes about Cooper to be found in the essay titled “Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offences.”

“The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it; but the teller of the comic story tells you beforehand that it is one of the funniest things he has ever heard, then tells it with eager delight, and is the first person to laugh when he gets through.” Mark Twain

One of Twain’s most popular and famous essays is “How to Tell a Story” which, perhaps surprisingly, is actually about what its title suggests. Here he outlines a very important distinction and secret to success too often overlooked. The idea that Twain is getting at here is perhaps most easily accessed to the modern reader through a more recent application: the movie Airplane! is an example of humor because the story is presented seriously. On the other hand, the comedy Ace Ventura: Pet Detective announces it is going to be funny straight from the title.

“How curious and interesting is the parallel — as far as poverty of biographical details is concerned — between Satan and Shakespeare.” Mark Twain

Oddly enough, in the essay titled “Is Shakespeare Dead?” Twain embarks upon a digression from the titular subject into an area of autobiography in which we discover that he had once entertained the notion of writing a biography of Satan. This notion occurred, was discussed and promptly dismissed by his Sunday school teacher before the young Samuel Clemens actually sat down and composed it. The digression seems off the topic of the essay itself which is an investigation into whether the William Shakespeare about whom so little is known could actually have been the author of the plays attributed to him.

“La on, Makduf, and damd be he hoo furst krys hold, enuf!” William Shakespeare (or possibly Francis Bacon)

The essay is title “A Simplified Alphabet” and in it, Twain very strongly makes an assertion about the English alphabet: “It doesn’t know how to spell, and can’t be taught.” The rest of the essay is therefore and examination of the singular peculiarities of how English words often wind up being spelled in ways that bear little resemblance to how they are actually pronounced. And so Twain offers up his idea of a simplified alphabet that is more attuned to the similarity between sound and appearance. But, as he admits, such a transformation would be almost impossible because seeing “letters put together in ways to which we are not accustomed offends the eye.” A point made tacitly clear with this rewrite of a famous quote from Macbeth rebooted in the style of his simplified alphabet.

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How did the clergyman spend the first part of his life?

From the text:

The clergyman at my left was an old acquaintance of mine – clergyman now, but had spent the first half of his life in the camp and field, and as an instructor in the military school at Woolwich.

Using the second step of the SQR4 method, Q, what would you do with a chapter title of “Reading Strategies”?

I would think C or D. I'd probably go with C.

It is important to maintain the same reading rate when reading an article; avoid speeding up and slowing down. True or false

I'm not an expert on this but I think it is probably true.

Study Guide for Mark Twain: Essays

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The 10 Wittiest Essays By Mark Twain

mark twain shakespeare essay

An American author and humorist, Mark Twain is known for his witty works, which include books, essays, short stories, speeches, and more. While not every single piece of written work was infused with humor, many were, ranging from deadpan humor to laugh-out-loud funny. We’ve put together a list, in no particular order, of ten witty pieces that will give you a peek inside the wittiness of this celebrated author.

Mark Twain

The Awful German Language

As anyone who has ever learned or attempted to learn a second language knows, it is difficult and can be very frustrating at times. Twain explores this in the witty essay ‘ The Awful German Language ,’ which was first published in Appendix D in A Tramp Abroad. He describes the language as ‘perplexing’ with its ten different parts of speech, one sound meaning several different things, super long words, which he believes have their own ‘perspective,’ and so on. After breaking down the language, Twain goes on to describe how he would ‘reform it.’ When it comes to these long compound words, for example, he would ‘require the speaker to deliver them in sections, with intermissions for refreshments.’

How to Tell a Story

Advice to youth.

‘Always obey your parents…,’ is first piece of ‘advice’ Twain gives in his satirical essay ‘ Advice To Youth ,’ written in 1882; however, he immediately follows it with ‘…when they are present.’ He also discusses respecting superiors, but if they offend in any way, then the youth may ‘simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.’ Other pieces of ‘advice’ from Twain include ‘be very careful about lying’ and ‘never handle firearms carelessly.’ He writes of books and how ‘Robertson’s Sermons, Baxter’s Saints’ Rest… ‘ are some of the books that the youth should read ‘exclusively.’ Twain was making a social commentary about the people of his time, but it is a fun read.

High wheel bicycles

Taming the Bicycle

‘ Taming the Bicycle ‘ is a funny account of Twain learning to ride an old high wheel bike. This piece, while never published during his lifetime as he was never happy with it, is laugh-out-loud funny. Taking lessons from ‘the Expert,’ Twain has much difficulty learning to stay on the bike. Indeed, ‘He [the Expert] said that dismounting was perhaps the hardest thing to learn… But he was in error there.’ Hilarity ensues as Twain falls, repeatedly, on his teacher as he has trouble staying the bike for any amount of time. Eventually, Twain does learn how to get on the bike and dismount properly; he even writes ‘Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.’

Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offences

Professionals once described Fenimore Cooper’s The Deerslayer and The Pathfinder as ‘artistic creations’ and Cooper himself as ‘the greatest artist in the domain of romantic fictions.’ In ‘ Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offences ,’ Mark Twain clearly thought otherwise. In this critical essay, Twain states that Cooper violated 18 of the ‘rules governing literary art’ and proceeds to explain each one. Some of the funnier moments or rules broken include ‘1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the Deerslayer tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in the air’ and ’12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.’ This piece is biting and funny at the same time.

At the Funeral

While funerals are serious, Mark Twain manages to make the subject funny in ‘ At the Funeral ,’ a short essay in which the humorous writer gives his take on proper etiquette when attending such an event. For example, the attendee must not ‘criticise the person in whose honor the entertainment is given’ and definitely ‘make no remarks about his equipment.’ Also, the attendee should only ‘be moved…according to the degree of your intimacy’ with the people hosting the funeral or the deceased. And lastly, as only Twain would point out, ‘Do not bring your dog.’

On Theft and Conscience

‘On Theft and Conscience’ is an except taken from a speech Twain gave in 1902 and is printed in Mark Twain’s Helpful Hints for Good Living: A Handbook for the Damned Human Race . He recalled the first time he ‘removed’ (stole) a watermelon from a wagon; once he looked at it, he realized it was not yet ripe. He had a bit of remorse, so he returned the watermelon to the owner. This is Mark Twain after all; therefore, he told the owner ‘to reform.’ The owner, in turn, gave Twain a ripe melon, and Twain ‘forgave’ the owner.

Replica of the Mark Twain Cabin, Jackass Hill, Calaveras County, CA

The Jumping Frog

In 1865, Mark Twain wrote ‘The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,’ a witty short story about a gambler named Jim Smiley as told by the bartender, Sam Wheeler. A French writer, while liking the story and thinking it was funny, didn’t understand why it would cause anyone to laugh and translated the story into French in order prove his point. Twain caught wind of it and translated it back into English but using the grammatical structure and syntax of the French language. As he points out, ‘the Frenchman has riddled the grammar. I think it is the worst I ever saw…’ He published everything as ‘ The Jumping Frog : In English. Then in French. Then Clawed Back into a Civilized Language Once More By Patient, Unremunerated Toil.’

A Presidential Candidate

A satirical essay written in 1879, ‘A Presidential Candidate’ makes fun of the campaign process and explores the ideal candidate or in Twain’s words ‘a candidate who cannot be injured by investigation of his past history…’ If the candidate did, indeed, expose all his ‘wickedness’ then his opponents could not use his past against him. A truly witty piece, some of the secrets revealed include the candidate burying his deceased aunt under his grapevines because ‘the vine needed fertilizing, my aunt had to be buried, and I dedicated her to this high purpose’ and his dislike for ‘the poor man.’

Advice to Little Girls

While it is a funny short story, ‘ Advice to Little Girls ‘ also has deeper meaning: girls should think for themselves. For example, one piece of ‘advice’ Twain shares is ‘If you mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won’t.’ He writes that little girls should act as they will do what they’re told but that ‘afterward act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your best judgment.’ This piece also has recommendations on how take chewing gum from little brothers, how to treat friends who have better toys, plus several more little gems.

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COMMENTS

  1. Is Shakespeare Dead?

    And here is another extract from a Hannibal paper. Of date twenty days ago: Miss Becca Blankenship died at the home of William Dickason, 408 Rock Street, at 2.30 o'clock yesterday afternoon, aged 72 years. The deceased was a sister of "Huckleberry Finn," one of the famous characters in Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer .

  2. Mark Twain: Is Shakespeare Dead?

    The bones were not important. They will moulder away, they will turn to dust, but the Works will endure until the last sun goes down.". Excerpts from Is Shakespeare Dead by Mark Twain, an exploration of the Shakespeare authorship question originally published in 1909. "For the instruction of the ignorant I will make a list, now, of those ...

  3. Is Shakespeare Dead?

    A Horse's Tale. Followed by. Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven. Is Shakespeare Dead? is a short, semi-autobiographical work by American humorist Mark Twain. It explores the controversy over the authorship of the Shakespearean literary canon via satire, anecdote, and extensive quotation of contemporary authors on the subject.

  4. Mark Twain and "Shake-Speare": Soul Mates

    James Norwood. One of the hallmarks of Mark Twain was irreverence. His first major publication, The Innocents Abroad, called into question the high culture of Europe, which he had experienced first-hand during an extended trip.Following his days as a prospector and journalist in Nevada and California, Twain moved to New York City and soon received a commission to write about Europe and the ...

  5. Mark Twain on whether Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare

    A friend has sent me a new book, from England--THE SHAKESPEARE PROBLEM RESTATED--well restated and closely reasoned; and my fifty years' interest in that matter--asleep for the last three years--is excited once more. It is an interest which was born of Delia Bacon's book--away back in that ancient day--1857, or maybe 1856.

  6. Mark Twain quotations

    He is a brontosaur: nine bones and six hundred barrels of plaster. - "Is Shakespeare Dead?" If Shakespeare had been born and bred on a barren and unvisited rock in the ocean his mighty intellect would have had no outside material to work with, and could have invented none; and no outside influences, teachings, moldings, persuasions ...

  7. Is Shakespeare Dead?

    ÊIs Shakespeare Dead? is a short, semi-autobiographical work by American humorist Mark Twain. It explores the controversy over the authorship of the Shakespearean literary canon via satire, anecdote, and extensive quotation of contemporary authors on the subject. Ê The original publication spans only 150 pages, and the formatting leaves roughly half of each page blank.

  8. PDF Shakespeare in Mark Twain's 1601

    Drawing upon theories concerning parody, this essay argues that Twain's caricature of Elizabethan conduct and language in his 1601 functions as a "double-coded" allegory to satirize American hypocritical practices by paying homage to carefree discussions of bawdry in European writings. ... Shakespeare in Mark Twain's 1601 3

  9. PDF MARK TWAIN IS SHAKESPEARE DEAD?

    IsShakespeareDead_2111_Jewelcase_A4.indd. short, semi-autobiographical work by American humorist Mark Twain. It explores the controversy over the authorship of the Shakespearean literary canon via satire, anecdote, and extensive quotation of contemporary authors on the subject. In the book, Twain expounds the view that Shakespeare of Stratford ...

  10. and the Question of Shakespearean

    collaboration with Shakespeare in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Mark Twain's relationship to Shakespeare is perhaps more complex than any of these. Twain began by gently mocking Shakespeare and the nineteenth-century cult of "bardolatry," in which Shakespeare was worshiped as a secular god.

  11. The Project Gutenberg eBook of What is Man? and Other Essays, by Mark Twain

    AND OTHER ESSAYS By Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835-1910) CONTENTS. WHAT IS MAN? THE DEATH OF JEAN: THE TURNING-POINT OF MY LIFE: ... Well, never mind Adam: but certainly Shakespeare's creations— O.M. No, you mean Shakespeare's imitations. Shakespeare created nothing. He correctly observed, and he marvelously painted.

  12. Humanity: A Paradoxical Mixture of Greatness and Flaws

    By combining the ideas of Shakespeare and Mark Twain, we shall investigate the paradoxical character of humanity in this essay. We will explore the nuances of the human experience while ...

  13. Twain House conference asks, as Twain did: Who really wrote Shakespeare

    The Shakespeare Oxford Fellowship is holding a conference at the Mark Twain House and Museum in Hartford. ... Twain was the author of "Is Shakespeare Dead?," an essay published 110 years ago ...

  14. Mark Twain Critical Essays

    Twain's general reputation as one of the most admired, and possibly the most beloved, writer in America is based, in the main, upon the work he published before 1890. After that time, his work ...

  15. PDF Mark Twain and "Shake-Speare": Soul Mates

    mother lode at the moment when he adopted the pseudonym Mark Twain and began the career of a writer. On April 22, 1864, Twain wrote a piece for the alleged three hundredth anniversary of the birth of the Bard. Published in the Territorial Enterprise, the article sought to present a biographical sketch of Shakespeare. Twain recalls in

  16. Essays and Sketches of Mark Twain

    About the author (1995) Mark Twain was born Samuel L. Clemens in Florida, Missouri on November 30, 1835. He worked as a printer, and then became a steamboat pilot. He traveled throughout the West, writing humorous sketches for newspapers. In 1865, he wrote the short story, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, which was very well ...

  17. Mark Twain's Comments on Shakespeare as an Author

    Throughout his career, Twain vacillated between belief and disbelief about whether the author of the distinguished plays was the man from Stratford. Twain's ambivalence, however, demonstrates that he does not seriously engage in the Shakespeare-Bacon controversy but instead presents a façade to mock literary scholars with the Mark Twain persona.

  18. PDF 4. Mark Twain and George Greenwood on Shakespeare's Knowledge of the

    Mark Twain 1835-1910 4. Mark Twain and George Greenwood on Shakespeare's Knowledge of the Law 1909 _____ Mark Twain was a true author-skeptic, declar-ing that while he knew for certain that Shake-speare of Stratford had not written the plays and poems ascribed to him, he merely be-lieved faute de mieux that Bacon was respon-sible.

  19. Mark Twain

    The Oxford Companion to Mark Twain. New York: Oxford University Press, 2003. An essay collection containing worthwhile pieces by multiple writers on censorship, critical reception, realism, etiquette, performance, and technology, among other subjects. There is also a useful bibliography and chronology of Twain's life, work, and times.

  20. Mark Twain: Essays Quotes

    The Mark Twain: Essays Community Note includes chapter-by-chapter summary and analysis, character list, theme list, historical context, author biography and quizzes written by community members like you. ... Oddly enough, in the essay titled "Is Shakespeare Dead?" Twain embarks upon a digression from the titular subject into an area of ...

  21. Mark Twain Short Fiction Analysis

    Essays and criticism on Mark Twain, including the works "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County", "A True Story", "The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in ...

  22. What Is Man? and Other Essays by Mark Twain

    Twain, Mark, 1835-1910. Title. What Is Man? and Other Essays. Contents. What is man? -- The death of Jean -- The turning-point of my life -- How to make history dates stick -- The memorable assassination -- A scrap of curious history -- Switzerland, the cradle of liberty -- At the Shrine of St. Wagner -- William Dean Howells -- English as she ...

  23. The 10 Wittiest Essays By Mark Twain

    Advice To Youth. 'Always obey your parents…,' is first piece of 'advice' Twain gives in his satirical essay ' Advice To Youth ,' written in 1882; however, he immediately follows it with '…when they are present.'. He also discusses respecting superiors, but if they offend in any way, then the youth may 'simply watch your ...