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Analysis of Bharati Mukherjee’s The Management of Grief

By NASRULLAH MAMBROL on May 29, 2021

The Management of Grief  is collected in The Middleman and Other Stories (1988), winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award. The idea of “middlemen” is central to these stories of immigrant experience; Bharati Mukherjee presents characters in fl ux as they cope with their positions: They are between cultures, between lifestyles, between the old and the new, between the persons they used to be and the persons they are becoming in their new lives. “The Management of Grief” is a fictional depiction of the June 25, 1985, terrorist bombing of an Air India Boeing 747 en route from Canada to Bombay via London’s Heathrow Airport. The crash killed all 329 passengers, most of whom were Canadian Indians. Mukherjee and her husband, Clark Blaise, had researched and written a book on the tragedy ( The Sorrow and the Terror [1987]). In an interview with the scholar Beverley Beyers-Pevitts, Bharati Mukherjee reminisces about the composition of this story: “ ‘The Management of Grief,’ the one which is most anthologized, I did in two sittings. Almost all of it was written in one sitting because I was so ready to tell that story” (190).

In the immediate aftermath of the tragedy, the tale opens in Toronto in the kitchen of Shaila Bhave, a Hindu Canadian who has lost her husband, Vikram, and two sons, Vinod and Mithun, in the crash. Through Shaila, the central character, Mukherjee illuminates not only the community’s immediate reactions to the horrific event but also the Indian values and cultural differences that the well-meaning Canadian social worker Judith Templeton struggles vainly to comprehend. Valium mutes Shaila’s own grief as she commiserates with her neighbor Kusum, whose husband, Satish, and a talented daughter were crash victims. Kusum is confronted by her Westernized daughter Pam, who had refused to travel to India, preferring to stay home and work at McDonald’s; Pam now accuses her mother of favoring her dead sister. As well-intentioned neighbors make tea and answer phone calls, Judith Templeton asks Shaila to help her communicate with the hundreds of Indian-born Canadians affected by the tragedy, some of whom speak no English: “There are some widows who’ve never handled money or gone on a bus, and there are old parents who still haven’t eaten or gone outside their bedrooms” (183). Judith appeals to Shaila because “All the people said, Mrs. Bhave is the strongest person of all” (183).

Bharati Mukherjee/The New York Times

Shaila agrees to try to help on her return from Ireland, site of the plane crash. While there she describes the difficulties of Kusum, who eventually finds acceptance of her loss through her swami, and of Dr. Ranganathan, a Montreal electrical engineer whose entire family perished. Shaila is in denial and is actually relieved when she cannot identify as hers any of the young boys’ bodies whose photos are presented to her. From Ireland, Shaila and Kusum fl y to Bombay, where Shaila finally screams in frustration at a customs official and then notes, “One [sic] upon a time we were well brought up women; we were dutiful wives who kept our heads veiled, our voices shy and sweet” (189). While with her grandmother and parents, Shaila describes their differences—the grandmother observes Hindu traditions while her parents rebelled against them— and sees herself as “trapped between two modes of knowledge. At thirty-six, I am too old to start over and too young to give up. Like my husband’s spirit, I flutter between two worlds” (189). She reenters her old life for a while, playing bridge in gymkhana clubs, riding ponies on trails, attending tea dances, and observing that the widowers are already being introduced to “new bride candidates” (190). She considers herself fortunate to be an “unlucky widow,” who, according to custom, is ineligible for remarriage. Instead, in a Hindu temple, her husband appears to her and tells her to “ finish what we started together ” (190).

And so, unlike Kusum, who moves to an ashram in Hardwar, Shaila returns to Toronto, sells her house at a profi t, and moves to an apartment. Once again, Judith seeks her help, this time with an old Sikh couple who refuse to accept their sons’ deaths and therefore refuse all government aid, despite being plunged into darkness when the electric company cuts off their power. Shaila cannot explain to Judith, who as a social worker is immersed in the four “stages” of grief, that as a Hindu she cannot communicate with this Sikh couple, particularly because Sikhs were probably responsible for the bombing of the Air India fl ight. Still, she understands their hope that their sons will reappear and has difficulty sympathizing with Judith’s government forms and legalities. Shaila leaves Judith, hears her family’s voices exhorting her to be brave and to continue her life, and, on a hopeful note, begins walking toward whatever her new life will present.

Analysis of Bharati Mukherjee’s Stories

BIBLIOGRAPHY Beyers-Pevitts, Beverley. “An Interview with Bharati Mukherjee.” In Speaking of the Short Story: Interviews with Contemporary Writers. Oxford: University Press of Mississippi, 1997. Carb, Alison B. “An Interview with Bharati Mukherjee.” Massachusetts Review 29 (1988–1999): 645–654. Connell, Michael, Jessie Grearson, and Tom Grimes. “An Interview with Bharati Mukherjee.” Iowa Review 20, no. 3 (Fall 1990): 7–32. Hancock, Geoff. “An Interview with Bharati Mukherjee.” Canadian Fiction Magazine 59 (1987): 30–44. Mukherjee, Bharati. “The Management of Grief.” In The Middleman and Other Stories. New York: Grove Press, 1988. Pandya, Sudha. “Bharati Mukherjee’s Darkness: Exploring Hyphenated Identity.” Quill 2, no. 2 (December 1990): 68–73.

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“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee Essay (Review)

Short story analysis: critical review, “the management of grief”: summary, “the management of grief”: analysis conclusion, works cited.

To begin with, let us state that the story under consideration is the short story under the title “The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee. She is and outstanding American writer who was awarded a National Book Critics Circle Award in 1988 for her book “The Middleman and Other Stories.” The stories are known for their engaging plots, well-thought structures and author’s writing style. We should admit that the story under consideration is a remarkable piece of writing that deserves our attention.

It is the only story about immigrants in Canada in her collection of books. In “The Management of Grief,” Mukherjee analyzes the catastrophe that is based on the 1985 terrorist bombing of an Air India jet occupied mainly by Indian immigrants that live in Canada. “The Management of Grief” analysis essay shall define the main lesson from the story by Bharati Mukherjee.

The story uses a first-person narrative, and it makes it moving and realistic. It is a mixture of narration and dialogue. The text abounds in specific terms, naming traditional Indian clothes and dishes. This creates a realistic atmosphere and makes the understanding of the theme easier for the reader. We feel as if we were members of their community of immigrants ourselves. So, the setting is the Indian community in Toronto struck by a heavy loss.

The “The Management of Grief” theme may be observed in the title; that is why we can say that it is suggestive. “The Management of Grief” tells us there exists such grief that every person has to face sooner or later. It is the death of our near and dear people, people who represent all lovely qualities of life for us, people who are the sense of our lives.

And our task is to accept and manage this grief properly, but for the “The Management of Grief” characters, this is even more complicated because they live in a foreign country with different traditions and mentality.

The message of the story can be formulated like this: every person is free to decide how to act in his life. The most important thing is peace in our soul that will come sooner or later, even if we have experienced severe grief. We have to look for the answers in our soul, not in the traditions and customs of our country.

As we have already mentioned, the story is told in the first person. The storyteller is Shaila Bhave, a Hindu Canadian who knows that both her husband, Vikram, and her two sons were on the cursed plane. She is the narrator and the protagonist at the same time, so the action unfolds around her.

Shaila makes us feel her grief. It is natural that tears may well up in our eyes while reading. Speaking about other characters of the story, we should mention Kusum, who is opposed to Shaila. Kusum follows all Indian traditions and observes the morning procedure while Shaila chooses to struggle against oppressive traditions, and she rejects them because she is a woman of the new world . Josna Rege says that “Each of the female protagonists of Mukherjee’s … recent novels is a woman who continually “remakes herself” (Rege 399).

And Shaila is a real exception to the rule. She is a unique woman who is not like other Indian women. We would say that she is instead an American or European woman: strong, struggling, intelligent, with broad scope and rich inner world.

The first two pages give us the idea of Indian values. It becomes clear from the very outset, from the opening sentence: “A woman I don’t know is boiling tea the Indian way in my kitchen” (Selvadurai 91).

From the short story analysis, it is evident that the storyteller depicts with much detail the grief and sorrow of those who have experienced this tragedy using such word combinations as “monstrously pregnant” (Selvadurai 91) and “deadening quiet” (Selvadurai 92). The atmosphere becomes more and more tense, and we can see that among all those people who have come to help, Shaila wants to scream.

In this part of the story, where we also get acquainted with Pam, Kusum’s daughter, who stayed alive, because her younger sister had flown instead of her. Here we see misunderstanding between the mother and the daughter as Pam is a westernized teenager, and that is the reason for their detachment. She is closer to Shaila than to her mother.

In the development of action that covers the major part of the text, we can see Shaila’s meeting with a representative of the provincial government, Judith Templeton. Shaila goes to the coast of Ireland to look once again at that very place, where the crash of the Air India jet took place.

She is accompanied by Kusum and several more mourners, who grieve too much, but still, have to identify the bodies. Here the atmosphere is very tragic. The mother cannot accept the reality, and she still thinks that she did not lose her family , because the boy on the photo does not look like her son and, moreover, he is an excellent swimmer so that he can be alive. It is tough to be the witness of the tragedy of a woman who has lost her children.

Then we come to know that Shaila decided to return to India, and there she understood that she had to go back to Canada. This is the climax of the story. We see that the woman has chosen the right way, though she is still not sure and wants to ask her family for advice.

To conclude, let us say that Bharati Mukherjee’s “The Management of Grief” is a tragic and melancholic story, but after all, it creates the impression of an open door, that is the optimistic note of the story. A person who manages the grief will never be alone.

Rege, Josna. “Bharati Mukherjee (1940– ).” The Columbia Companion to the Twentieth-Century American Short Story. Ed. Blanche H. Gelfant and Lawrence Graver. New York: Columbia University Press, 2000.

Selvadurai, Shyam. Story-Wallah: short fiction from South Asian writers. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2005.

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IvyPanda. (2023, October 28). “The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee. https://ivypanda.com/essays/analysis-of-short-story-the-management-of-grief-by-bharati-mukherjee/

"“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee." IvyPanda , 28 Oct. 2023, ivypanda.com/essays/analysis-of-short-story-the-management-of-grief-by-bharati-mukherjee/.

IvyPanda . (2023) '“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee'. 28 October.

IvyPanda . 2023. "“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee." October 28, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/analysis-of-short-story-the-management-of-grief-by-bharati-mukherjee/.

1. IvyPanda . "“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee." October 28, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/analysis-of-short-story-the-management-of-grief-by-bharati-mukherjee/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "“The Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee." October 28, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/analysis-of-short-story-the-management-of-grief-by-bharati-mukherjee/.

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The Management of Grief

Bharati mukherjee, ask litcharts ai: the answer to your questions.

After a tragic plane crash just off the coast of Ireland, members of Shaila Bhave ’s community gather in her house in Toronto. Shaila’s husband and two sons were killed in the crash, as were the husband and youngest daughter of Shaila’s friend and neighbor, Kusum . The majority of the people on board the plane were of Indian descent. At first, no one knows who or what to blame for the crash, but they eventually find out that Sikh terrorists planted and detonated a bomb. Shaila is in shock and uses Valium prescribed by a doctor to assuage her emotions.

Judith Templeton , a well-meaning but culturally incompetent Canadian social worker, asks Shaila to help communicate with relatives of those killed by the attack. Judith explains that she has been unsuccessful in communicating with some relatives and thinks Shaila will be an asset because of her calmness and strength. Shaila views her own calmness with suspicion and says others will view her similarly. She tells Judith that everyone must grieve in their own way, but she also tells Judith that she will call her when she returns to Ireland.

Shaila—along with other relatives of those killed in the attack, including Dr. Ranganathan and Kusum—travel to Ireland to identify the bodies of their loved ones. Kusum identifies her husband and daughter quickly and then travels to India to prepare their funerals. Shaila feels buoyed by hope and optimism after Dr. Ranganathan, a renowned electrical engineer who lost his entire family in the attack, tells her that a strong swimmer might have been able to survive the crash and swim to shore. She leaves Ireland for India without having identified her husband and sons.

In India, Shaila stays with her parents for a few months and then travels throughout the country. Six months into her travels, she sees a vision of her husband in a temple in a small Himalayan village. In the vision, her husband, Vikram Bhave , tells her she must “finish alone what we started together.” Shaila returns to Canada, while Kusum sells her house to move to an ashram in the Indian city of Haridwar (referred to in the story as Hardwar) to pursue inner peace. Dr. Ranganathan turns his house into a shrine to the family he lost before eventually selling that house and moving to Texas, where no one will know his story.

When Shaila returns to Toronto, Judith Templeton asks her to help reach out to relatives of the attack with whom she has had trouble communicating. Together, they visit an elderly couple . Judith wants Shaila to help get the couple to sign a paper that will ensure they receive benefits from the Canadian government. The couple is reluctant to sign the paper, convinced that it would mean giving up hope that they would see their sons again, and Judith and Shaila leave without convincing them to sign. As they travel to their next appointment, Judith complains about the person they’re about to meet. Shaila, unable to bear Judith’s complaining, asks to stop the car and then leaves without explaining to Judith why.

Shaila sells her house and moves to an apartment in downtown Toronto. On a rare sunny day in winter, she walks in a park and sees a vision of her family for the last time. In the vision, her family tells her that her “time has come” and to “go, be brave.”

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Grief — The Management of Grief by Bharati Mukherjee

The Management of Grief by Bharati Mukherjee

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Words: 435 |

Published: Jan 30, 2024

Words: 435 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, summary of "the management of grief", cultural identity and loss, coping mechanisms and strategies, the role of memory and remembrance, references:.

• Mukherjee, B. (1988). The Management of Grief. The Middleman and Other Stories
• Kogawa, J. (1981). Obasan. Penguin Random House Canada.
• Hirsch, M. (2008). Mourning and its relation to cultural identity. Mortality, 13(2), 123-135.

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Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt

Mary-frances o’connor.

1 Department of Psychology, University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ, USA

Using an integrative view of psychology, neuroscience, immunology and psychophysiology, the present review of literature curates the findings that have had an impact on the field of bereavement research, and shaped its development.

Beginning with Lindemann’s systematic descriptions of medical and psychological responses to the death of a loved one, specific studies that investigate medical outcomes following loss, their psychological predictors, and biopsychosocial mechanisms are discussed. This selective review culminates in recommendations for the field for future research, including greater integration of these disparate fields of inquiry.

Morbidity and mortality following the death of a loved one has long been a topic of research. Early researchers characterized somatic and psychological symptoms and studied immune cell changes in bereaved samples. More recent research has repeatedly demonstrated increased rates of morbidity and mortality in bereaved samples, as compared to married controls, in large epidemiological studies. Recent developments also include the development of criteria for prolonged grief disorder (also termed complicated grief). Newer methods, including neuroimaging, have observed that the greatest impact of the death of a loved one is in those who have the most severe psychological grief reactions. Mechanisms tying bereavement to medical outcomes are scarce, but differences in rumination, in inflammation and in cortisol dysregulation between those who adapt well and those who do not, have been offered with some evidence.

Conclusions:

Recommendations to propel the field forward include longitudinal studies to understand differences between acute reactions and later adaptation, comparing samples with grief disorders from those with more typical responses, and integrating responses in brain, mind and body.

Psychosomatic medicine has a long and storied history of studying the health effects of bereavement. The death of a loved one has been recognized as the greatest life stressor that we face as humans, heading the list of stressful life events compiled by Holmes and Rahe( 1 ). These researchers were attempting to quantify the relationship between life events that require an ongoing adjustment (e.g., chronic stress) and the timing of illness onset. The earliest accounts of the symptomatology and management of acute grief harken back to the beginning of the field of psychosomatic medicine. In 1944, Erich Lindemann published data collected from bereaved family members following the Cocoanut Grove Fire that killed 492 people, the deadliest nightclub fire in history. This was the first-ever systematic study of the somatic and psychological aspects of bereavement( 2 ), which continue to interest the field today.

The present paper will cover topics that are not frequently combined in a review, despite the fact that they all include the empirical investigation of grief. In the first section I will discuss some important historical and contemporary developments in the field of bereavement research, including theoretical models that can be used to understand the experience and process of grieving. These historical events in the field affected the way that subsequent grief research has been conducted. The next section will cover adaptation to grief in the body, chronicling investigations of medical outcomes during bereavement, followed by acute and chronic changes seen in the biomarkers of diverse physiological systems. Although not often studied in a combined research design, these biomarkers are the presumed mechanisms linking the loss event with medical morbidity and mortality. The next section covers advancements in what is known about how the mind adapts during grief, preferentially covering those mental processes that are amenable to psychological intervention. The following section reviews findings in neuroscience that speak to how the brain adapts following the death of a loved one. Last, a summary section makes recommendations for future research and integration of these disparate subfields. As a final note, the present review is not a systematic or comprehensive one, but rather highlights particular studies in the field that I believe may point us to a greater understanding of the role of grief in illness.

Important historical developments in bereavement research

Descriptions and theories of what happens in grief have largely come from psychiatry and psychology. From these domains, current grief research relies heavily on attachment theory and cognitive stress theory to understand the process of adapting after the death of a loved one, rather than the outdated and inaccurate five-stage model of grief( 3 ). Acute grief, or the period immediately following a death, is often characterized by a loss of regulation. This can be observed as increased intensity and frequency of sadness, anger and/or anxiety, and also emotional numbness and difficulty concentrating, in addition to dysregulation in sleep and appetite.

There are wide individual differences in the adaptation process, but George Bonanno has demonstrated a small number of trajectories, using prospective data to examine adaptation after a death( 4 , 5 ). One insight from this work, which disrupted the field of bereavement research, was that the vast majority of individuals are very resilient (approximately 60%). By six months, the resilient group shows no elevation in depressive symptoms or functional impairment. This does not mean that resilient people do not experience the intense short-term pangs of grief, but these emotional waves do not cause functional impairment. The realization that previous theories of grief were largely based on a treatment-seeking population forced the field to reconsider some of its assumptions. Consequently, a very influential model of grief, the dual process model of coping, was adopted to reflect the oscillation that occurs in typical grief( 6 ). In day-to-day life during bereavement, healthy people oscillate between focusing on loss-related stressors (e.g., the pain of living without the person) and restoration-related stressors (e.g., engaging in new roles and identities due to the loss), and at other times are simply engaged in everyday life experience.

Importantly, Bonanno’s research demonstrated that the functioning of a person prior to the death event is also an important aspect of their trajectory of adaptation. Those who are depressed prior to bereavement may need different interventions from those who develop depression only after the event. Depression and grief can be distinguished clinically, statistically( 7 ), and even pharmacologically, as antidepressants do not ameliorate grief symptoms( 8 ). It is notable that there is very little application of these trajectories of adaptation to physiological systems (thus far). Sporadic work has compared acute grief (from immediately following the death event to six months after the loss) to later grief (from six months to a lifetime exposure to deaths), but it is difficult to compare across these studies, and they have rarely taken advantage of sophisticated longitudinal statistical analyses that are now available.

The most recent insight that has changed the field of grief research is the development of criteria characterizing disordered grief. Although for decades psychiatry and psychology have described the fact that some people experience grieving of greater intensity and functional impairment in comparison to others, criteria were developed in the 1990’s to define what is now most often termed “complicated grief disorder” or “prolonged grief disorder”. Symptoms are divided into separation distress, including persistent yearning and pre-occupation with the loss, and traumatic distress. These may include difficulties accepting the death, feeling one has lost a part of one’s self, anger about the loss, guilt, or difficulty in engaging with social or other activities. These disorders now appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-5 (DSM-5; as an area for continued study)( 9 ) and in the International Classification of Diseases-11 (ICD-11). The advent of a discrete disorder required a name for “non-complicated grief,” (i.e., those who are bereaved, but resilient in integrating the experience). This term is based on the label used for “non-depressed”. However, additional work is needed to validate the diagnostic criteria, especially across cultures, and to compare diagnostic criteria sets that have been developed( 10 ). Although the criteria sets share the hallmark symptoms of intense yearning and preoccupation with the deceased, additional criteria requirements for diagnosis vary in type and number. As with all mental disorders, the rates of complicated grief are very low (approximately 10 percent of bereaved individuals( 11 )) and likely form a continuous phenomenon of grief severity, with a chosen cut-off point for diagnosis.

This historical inflection point of diagnostic criteria means that it is now difficult to compare studies done prior to the advent of the grief disorder category to those done after, because earlier studies looked at health effects of grief across the full range of severity. The samples from these earlier studies include people with complicated grief and bereaved people who do not. Later studies often specifically model complicated grief or grief severity as a predictor of health outcomes. Because of the recency of these diagnostic criteria, the vast majority of studies reviewed in the present paper investigate bereavement as a category, and not grief severity or disordered grief.

Absent grief, or a lack of overt expression of grief through denial or suppression, was described originally with psychoanalytic theories. As a construct, absent grief has been clarified through contributions of psychology research (although more research is needed in this area). The difficulty in distinguishing resilience (which appears as a lack of overt grief expression) and suppression (which also appears as a lack of overt grief expression, but masks intense emotional experience) has made this area difficult to study. Elegant laboratory work has distinguished these two phenomena under conditions of cognitive load( 12 ), but clinicians rarely have laboratory tasks to rely on with individual patients. It has been demonstrated that delayed increased medical consequences are not commonly seen in those who do not express overt grief. However, there is still the open question as to whether discriminating true resilience from suppression (the latter being employed by a much smaller group) would reveal mechanisms of poor physical health outcomes in those who suppress grief emotions.

Adaptation of the body during grief

In 1961 in Psychosomatic Medicine , George Engel wrote an article entitle, “Is Grief a Disease? A Challenge for Medical Research( 13 ).” Engel is often misquoted by relying on the title of the article, and although he did not state that grief was a disease, he did suggest that grief was a legitimate topic for medical research( 14 ). Nonetheless, he pointed in the direction that the field has followed ever since:

“Until—and not until—much more is known about the biochemical, physiological, and psychological consequences of such losses, no one is justified in passing judgment as to how important this factor is in the genesis of the disease states that seem so often to follow close upon an episode of grief.” (p. 21)

The study of these “biochemical, physiological” mechanisms can be traced back to the earliest publication of immune correlates of bereavement, published by Roger Bartrop and colleagues in 1977( 15 ). In the past forty years, the field of psychosomatic medicine has investigated biomarkers that may help to explain the relationship between bereavement and medical outcomes, including mechanisms in autonomic (particularly cardiovascular), endocrine, and immune systems. Additionally, the neural correlates of bereavement have been investigated, specifically attempting to determine the role of the brain in the relationship between the death event and subsequent medical illness. Notably, Engel also presciently considered this: “…whatever the consequences of object loss and grief may be, whether manifest ultimately in biochemical, physiological, psychological or social terms, they must first be initiated in the central nervous system (emphasis added).” In the past fifteen years or so, studies of the physiological concomitants of grief have included functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), a method Engel would no doubt have found exciting.

Perhaps the most compelling evidence that there is a connection between bereavement and medical consequences is documentation of the “broken-heart phenomenon”, or the increased risk of mortality for bereaved people in the first six months after the loss event compared to their married counterparts. Evidence of his phenomenon was first published in 1963 in the Lancet ( 16 ) and in the British Medical Journal ( 17 ). Unfortunately, the term “broken-heart” has become associated with a specific medical condition in the literature. First reported in 1990 by Sato and colleagues, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is acute stress-induced cardiomyopathy involving left ventricular apical ballooning that mimics acute myocardial infarction( 18 ). Because the stressful event leading to Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is sometimes (though not always) the death of a loved one, the condition has become synonymous with the “broken heart”. For this reason, the increased risk of all-cause morbidity and mortality in the bereaved has alternatively been called “the widowhood effect”. However, this term is also somewhat unsatisfying, as the stressful event does not have to be the death of a spouse, but can be the death of any attachment figure.

In the past twenty years, multiple epidemiological studies have verified the excess morbidity and mortality following the death of a loved one. In a study of 1.5 million Finns, risk of chronic ischemic heart disease was 2.08-fold higher in men in the six months after the death of their wife, compared to the continuously married cohort( 19 ). In the Health and Retirement Study (N=12,316), mortality risk for widowed men was 1.87 adjusting for demographics, behavioral risk factors and co-morbidities( 20 ). The relative risk of death is 22% higher for both widows and widowers compared to married individuals, adjusting for age and other relevant covariates( 21 ), although the effect may also be moderated by sex( 22 ). The increased risk is for all-cause mortality, including cardiovascular disease, acute health events (e.g. infections), chronic diseases (e.g. diabetes), and cancer( 23 ). This increased risk from bereavement is higher than well-established cardiovascular risk factors, such as smoking( 24 ).

All-cause morbidity is also increased following the death of a loved one, including cardiovascular events( 25 ), vascular disease( 23 ), incidence of cancer( 26 , 27 ) and self-reported hypertension( 28 ). In a case crossover study, increase in the incidence of a non-fatal myocardial infarction was 21 times higher in the 24 hours after the death of a loved one when compared to an a priori control period in the previous 6 months of the patient’s life( 25 ). The risk in the first day was almost 28 times higher when the patient reported that the death was moderately or extremely meaningful, pointing to the psychological aspect of grief contributing to the medical outcome. Although the death of a loved one is a rare event in the life of an individual, it is a nearly universal experience across the population. This means that in absolute terms, there is one excess heart attack per 1394 people at low cardiovascular risk, and one excess heart attack per 320 people at high cardiovascular risk( 25 ). These numbers demonstrate that the effect of bereavement on medical outcomes is a significant public health concern.

Changes in biomarkers during grief

Although the links between bereavement, morbidity, and mortality highlight the importance of bereavement as a public health concern, measuring changes in biomarkers following the death of a loved one can help us to understand the mechanisms that may lead to these medical endpoints. As mentioned above, autonomic, cardiovascular, endocrine and immune biomarkers are likely candidates. In particular, endocrine and immune biomarkers have a widespread effect on end organs and systems of the body, making them likely mechanisms, given the all-cause nature of bereavement-related morbidity and mortality.

Cardiovascular biomarkers have shown consistent changes in bereavement when comparing acute (e.g., <6 weeks) and chronic grief within bereaved individuals, and also between bereaved and nonbereaved groups. The shift is seen in tonic activity, although there are some indications that reactivity measures (i.e., phasic activity) may also differ( 29 , 30 ). These biomarkers include increased heart rate (resting and 24-hour), heart rate variability, systolic and diastolic blood pressure, von Willebrand factor, and platelet/granulocyte aggregates( 31 – 34 ). Higher levels of cortisol( 35 – 37 ) and dysregulated HPA axis activity are also seen consistently in bereavement( 38 , 39 ). The mechanisms linking biomarkers to medical outcome may have mediators or moderators as well. For example, the psychological reactions to the death (such as grief severity or numbness) influence cortisol levels following the event. Men who experience high levels of numbness following the death have high levels of cortisol at 18 months( 40 ). Two studies have demonstrated that those with complicated grief drove the cortisol effect compared to other bereaved adults without the disorder( 41 , 42 ).

Immune changes following bereavement are also documented, although not ubiquitously, as shown in a recent systematic review( 43 ). Pro-inflammatory markers IL-6 and IL-1 are higher in bereaved adults( 44 – 46 ). One of these studies found that the elevated IL-6 levels were moderated by a pro-inflammatory variant of the IL-6 −174 single-nucleotide polymorphism (SNP)( 47 ). However, another inflammatory marker, C-reactive protein, is not higher in bereaved compared to non-bereaved adults, even with reasonably large sample sizes( 32 , 46 ). Therefore, inflammatory responses in the wake of bereavement may be specific, and these inflammatory changes may be due to cellular immune changes that are also observed. In vitro lymphocyte proliferative response to mitogens, natural killer cell activity, and neutrophil function are decreased in bereavement and this impairment occurs independent of changes in absolute numbers and percentages of lymphocytes and lymphocyte subpopulations( 15 , 32 , 36 , 48 , 49 ). Finally, bereavement is associated with decreased antibody response to vaccination( 50 ). In summary, early studies indicate changes in the physiological systems of the bereaved that could be investigated as a link between the bereavement event and the survivor’s morbidity or mortality.

Figure 1 illustrates a model of the potential trajectories that biomarkers might take, forming a link between bereavement and medical outcomes (reproduced with permission from Knowles, Ruiz, O’Connor, in press). This model has the advantage of pointing out the importance of time in the normalization of biomarkers during grieving. Time since loss is on the x-axis and biomarkers (e.g., inflammation, heart rate, blood pressure) are on the y-axis. The y-axis could be replaced with any specific parameter under investigation. With a process model, we can easily see where previous studies already provide information about biomarkers. For example, IL-6 is increased in bereaved people compared to married controls at one year and two years ( 45 , 46 ), but we know nothing about this pro-inflammatory marker during acute grief. We may hypothesize that increased cardiovascular events during acute grief are related to inflammation, but a process model is required to determine the mechanistic links.

Broad Model of Acute and Chronic Alterations in Biomarkers Following Bereavement. Quadrants: A = Acute dysregulation, R = Resilient to changes, C = Chronic dysregulation, N = Normalized function. The vertical transition line refers to the time point where most individuals show normalization in parameters. The horizontal clinical cutoff line refers to the level at which parameters affect pathophysiology of disease. RR = relative risk.

In addition, the model highlights fact that not everyone will react in the same way following the death of a loved one. The model creates the opportunity to show multiple trajectories. Quadrant A refers to people with Acute biomarker changes following bereavement and quadrant R refers to those in acute grief who are Resilient to the disruption. Quadrant C refers to those who show Chronic dysregulation over time and quadrant N shows those whose dysregulation Normalizes over time. Most markers normalize over time for most people (path A to N). However, a subset of bereaved people show dysregulation in biomarkers that persists over time and the putative outcomes of increased morbidity and mortality (path A to C). The vertical line in the figure can be used to delineate the point in time at which the majority of people have normalized function, providing useful comparative information for clinicians. The horizontal line can be used to indicate the clinical cut-off point for biomarkers that have known medical consequences or clinical guidelines (e.g., 140 for systolic blood pressure).

In the face of clear epidemiological evidence of increased morbidity and mortality during bereavement, the field would benefit from moving beyond documenting evidence of the widowhood effect, and focusing efforts on how the effect occurs. Longitudinal studies could investigate individual differences in the trajectories of physiological adaptation, as we have seen done for psychological adaptation. The medical effects during the first weeks post-loss may be distinct from those occurring later in adaptation. Discovering whether the physiological mechanisms operating during these two periods are independent or causally related would advance the field enormously. No longer should studies lump acute grief and chronic grief together, nor combine individuals with a resilient trajectory with those diagnosed with complicated grief.

Adaptation of the mind during grief

Unfortunately, in the field of bereavement research, scientists who study the effects of grief in the body and those who study the effects of grief in the mind do not very often interact, attend the same conferences, or read the same journals. Although this split can be seen in many subfields (and psychosomatic medicine often attempts to bring subfields together), this lack of communication seems particularly problematic for comprehending the effects of bereavement; therefore it has been my goal to attempt to bridge these research areas in my own work and to introduce the methods, topics, and research advancements to each respective community.

A number of factors are associated with greater grief and depressive symptoms following bereavement, including avoidant attachment, neuroticism, unexpectedness of the loss, adequacy of financial situation and low social support( 51 ). However, these factors would not be easily changed by clinical intervention. Thus, the field may benefit by focusing on the processes (cognitive, emotional, and behavioral) that are more amenable to intervention and processes that mediate the adaptation trajectory in bereavement.

Processes that mediate the relationship between risk factors and mental health outcomes include (among others) rumination( 52 ), deliberate grief avoidance( 53 ), emotional expression( 54 ), cognitive appraisals( 55 ), and meaning-making( 56 ). In elegant work comparing theoretically important mediators, rumination was found to mediate the relationship between several risk factors and greater grief and depressive symptoms( 51 ). These risk factors included gender, attachment avoidance, neuroticism, social support and expectedness of the loss. Thus, those who experience an unexpected death are more likely to ruminate, which causes them to have higher levels of grief and depressive symptoms, as shown through mediation analyses. Although rumination has been studied in the context of some medical outcomes( 57 ), this has not been closely investigated in bereavement research.

Avoidance is a natural and adaptive response during grieving in small doses; however, high levels of deliberate avoidance of grief-related emotions may lead to prolonged activation of the suppressed thoughts and physiological arousal, poorer concentration and functioning on tasks in the moment, and prolonged likelihood of recurrent intrusive thoughts in the future. Surprisingly, rumination can also be a form of avoidance. Maarten Eisma, Maggie Stroebe, and Henk Schut have showed this in a series of elegant studies. Grief rumination includes repetitive thinking focused on the causes and consequences of the loss and loss-related emotions. The specific content of grief-related rumination has been studied, and maladaptive grief rumination includes counterfactuals (e.g., could I have done something to prevent the death?) and self-focused perseveration on the injustice of the death (e.g., why did this happen to me and not someone else?). Maladaptive rumination predicts depressive and complicated grief symptoms. As shown through eye tracking, those high in rumination avoid looking at reminders of the death compared to those bereaved individuals lower in rumination( 58 ), and using a reaction time task, high ruminators are faster to push reminders away from themselves than low ruminators( 59 ). To summarize, high levels of avoidance of grief (even while simultaneously ruminating about other aspects of the death) appear to be detrimental to long-term adaptation.

Adaptation of the brain during grief

Neuroscience provides us with another lens through which to view grief and the process of adaptation (or lack thereof). After all, it is the perception of the death event through seeing or hearing about the death, followed by the comprehension of that information and its consequences, which leads to the psychobiological reaction. The neurobiology of grief is still in its infancy, but several seminal pieces of research have been conducted thus far. These have included functional neuroimaging, structural neuroimaging and even an animal model of bereavement (i.e., between monogamous, pair-bonded voles)( 60 , 61 ).

In the first functional neuroimaging study of grief ever conducted, we chose to have participants view a photo of their deceased loved one captioned with a grief-related words contrasted with viewing a matched photo of a stranger, captioned with neutral words in order to elicit grief. This original study was descriptive, and we realized that grief is a complex emotional state, incorporating many mental functions. Resulting activated brain regions are involved in emotional processing, mentalizing, episodic memory retrieval, processing of familiar faces, visual imagery, autonomic regulation, and modulation or coordination of these functions( 62 ). Regions activated by personally relevant grief-related words compared to neutral words, including posterior cingulate cortex (PCC) and medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), are now considered to be the core regions in the default network. Regions activated by the photo of the deceased compared to a stranger, including dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC) and insula, are now considered to be hubs in the salience network. The default network and salience network have become critical in understanding social neuroscience in the decade and a half since this first study was conducted ( 63 ) and the relationship between them is now considered a critical aspect of mood disorders ( 64 ).

Following the descriptive study on neural activation during grief, we moved to looking at what distinguished complicated grief from non-complicated grief during the same grief elicitation task ( 65 ). Although replication of areas from the first study was seen across the whole sample of participants, results of this second study demonstrated a single area that was more active in the complicated grief group than a group of bereaved participants adapting well: part of the basal ganglia called the nucleus accumbens. Nucleus accumbens activation positively correlated with self-reported yearning across all participants. In contrast, there was no correlation between accumbens activation and time since loss, or self-reported positive or negative affect, suggesting specificity of the association between yearning and regional activation.

Interpreting the increased nucleus accumbens activation in those with complicated grief necessitated relying on prior studies. Imaging studies of romantic love (partner vs. stranger) and parental love (one’s own child vs. another child) of living attachment figures also shows activity in this region( 66 , 67 ). Because nucleus accumbens activity is high in response to living loved ones, and is high in those with complicated grief, one speculative possibility is that activation in this region in response to reminders of the deceased decreases over time in non-complicated grief, as the reminder of the attachment figure no longer generates an intense yearning response. In contrast, accumbens activation appears to remain high in complicated grief, associated with the continued yearning for the deceased loved one. However, longitudinal fMRI studies are needed to determine if changes in nucleus accumbens activation over time remain elevated in complicated grief. Yearning is likely a part of the “wanting” portion of reward, known to activate nucleus accumbens, although it could also be the “liking” part of reward ( 68 ). An animal model of bereavement lends support to this idea that nucleus accumbens activation is a critical aspect of attachment to loved ones. Nucleus accumbens activation is critical for pair bonding in the monogamous vole and oxytocin receptor signaling in this region decreases following partner loss( 60 ).

Because of interest in how bereaved people regulate experiences of strong emotions, such as yearning and pangs of grief, several researchers have investigated regions in the executive network. Three studies have used an emotional Stroop task during neuroimaging in bereavement. The emotional Stroop measures reaction time to deceased-related words compared to matched neutral words, indexing the capacity to disengage from emotionally salient stimuli in order to respond to the task at hand. In the first study, attentional bias to grief-related stimuli correlated with amygdala, insula, and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) activation( 69 ). In addition, a continuous measure of self-reported intrusiveness of grief-related thoughts correlated with ventral amygdala and rostral anterior cingulate activation, while avoidance correlated with deactivation of dorsal amygdala and DLPFC. In the second study, participants with non-complicated grief exhibited activity in the rostral anterior cingulate/orbitofrontal cortex to grief-related vs. matched neutral words, and this region was not observed in the non-bereaved control group( 70 ). This rostral area is important for emotion regulation in other fMRI emotional Stroop studies, and would be expected in a bereaved group facing greater emotional distress. However, the complicated grief group displayed no rostral anterior cingulate activation, even when examining this circumscribed area. This could be interpreted as a relative inability of individuals with complicated grief to recruit the regions needed to down-regulate emotional responses in order to successfully complete the task. In the third study using the emotional Stroop and bereaved participants across the spectrum of grief severity( 71 ), bereaved individuals did not show differential brain activation to words related to the deceased versus living attachment figures, even at a lenient statistical threshold. Notably, this was despite their finding of a behavioral attentional bias towards the deceased, with greater attentional bias associated with higher levels of complicated grief symptoms.

Looking across these three fMRI studies of the emotional Stroop task, we do not see a clear picture of the neural foundations of this task in grief or complicated grief. This may be due to the very wide heterogeneity between these three studies (e.g., type of loss, time since death, participant age). However, as a follow up to the last study, a multivoxel pattern analysis was used to identify a pattern of brain activity associated with intrusive deceased-related thoughts. The authors focused on interacting connectivity between the salience network, and the ventral attention and default networks ( 72 ). This interaction was different among those high and low in deliberate avoidance as a coping strategy. Those high in avoidance appeared to maintain continuous application of the attentional network during a mind-wandering task, and this monitoring was associated with a lower likelihood of reporting conscious thoughts of the loss. It may be that deliberate avoidance, also predictive in behavioral and clinical studies, is a neural signature in those who are not adapting well during grieving. Avoiding the situations and reminders of loss may prolong the time it takes to learn how to adapt to a world without the attachment figure.

One possibility when considering neurobiology of grief is that cognitive impairment may help to explain differences between those who are adapting well, and those who have prolonged grief severity. In the largest comprehensive study of neuropsychological testing in a bereaved sample (n’s = 150 with complicated grief, 615 with non-complicated grief and 4731 non-bereaved), group differences emerged( 73 ). Neuropsychological testing demonstrated that participants with complicated grief performed poorly in cognitive tests compared to those with non-complicated grief and the non-bereaved, although effect sizes were small. Those with complicated grief also had a smaller total brain volume, for both white matter and gray matter. Longitudinally, participants with complicated grief showed greater cognitive decline than matched, non-bereaved participants during seven years of follow-up in a very large sample( 74 ). Those with non-complicated grief did not show cognitive decline over this period. This suggests that complicated grief is a risk factor for cognitive decline, and as with physical health, effects seem to be driven by those with the most severe grief reactions. Therefore, future research seeking a mechanistic understanding should assess grief severity, and not lump those with complicated and non-complicated grief together.

In conclusion, at least three possible explanations should be considered for the lack of decisive, replicated findings so far in neuroimaging studies of bereavement (and the author’s knowledge of some unpublished null findings). First, the tasks used thus far (i.e., passive viewing of deceased-related cues; the emotional Stroop) may not be ideal for discriminating neural differences between bereaved and non-bereaved, or complicated and non-complicated grief. As Schneck and colleagues point out( 71 ), there may be a great deal of similarity in the way that deceased and living loved ones are encoded in the brain, and therefore the typical analytic imaging method of subtracting activation in one condition from another may lead to minimal (or potentially less replicable) activations. New, validated tasks that index the cognitive and affective mechanisms of grief and complicated grief are needed (possibly related to grief rumination or avoidance), and behavioral tasks that also show discrimination between complicated and non-complicated groups would be preferable.

Second, with the eventual progress toward more reliable diagnostic criteria for complicated (or prolonged) grief disorder (which would capture a smaller and more severely affected portion of the population), studies that compare disordered grief to controls may reveal more reliable differences in neural processing. Studies to date have used a range of diagnostic criterion sets, and occasionally phenomena that co-occur with complicated grief, such as intrusive thoughts or poor coping. Hopefully, better validity and reliability in the most critical psychological aspects of grief will lead to greater understanding of the neurobiology.

Third, the sample sizes of imaging studies of grief have been quite small, although as with all areas of neuroimaging research, this is changing. Brains have considerable structural as well as functional heterogeneity, which only increases with age, and when we add the heterogeneity of the mental aspects of grief, larger samples would increase the chances of finding convergent and reliable results. As grief research becomes more common, likely we will see more established research programs with the grant funding, infrastructure and collaborations needed to recruit larger samples. Taken together, researchers need more signal (e.g., better tasks and diagnostic criteria) and less noise (e.g., less heterogeneity through larger samples) in order to make progress in the neurobiology of grief.

Future directions

I hope that adaptation by the mind, brain, and body during bereavement will not be studied apart indefinitely, and that future research will reflect a greater integration of the depth of knowledge developed in each area. Better assessment of grief severity can be applied to future study of the medical consequences of bereavement. Early indications suggest that grief severity (including meeting complicated grief criteria or major depression) as a reaction to bereavement may drive the observed morbidity. Additional basic psychological science discriminating resilience from suppression or avoidance would further clarify the mechanisms that may lead to poor health following this stressful life event.

Finally, as researchers with interest in translational applications, clinical trials should examine how intervention during acute and chronic grief could improve health. In acute grief, we have published a very small feasibility trial of low-dose aspirin as a potential primary prevention strategy( 29 ). As a risk factor, bereavement is often predictable and the increased risk is temporary. Low-dose aspirin targets some of the main cardiovascular biomarkers affected during acute grief, is inexpensive, is widely available, does not require a prescription, and is feasible in other short-term interventions. Effective psychotherapeutic interventions for complicated grief have been developed and empirically tested( 75 , 76 ). These manualized treatments are based on the dual-process model and cognitive behavioral principles, and have demonstrated efficacy even in those who have had complicated grief for many years. Future research should assess whether remission of complicated grief co-occurs with improvement in biomarkers, and ultimately, in health.

The field of psychoneuroimmunology has proposed that mind, brain, and body interact, especially under stressful circumstances; for example, circulating inflammation may be related to cognitive, emotional and physical dysregulation. Combining the neuroimaging method with the assessment of immune activation, O’Connor and colleagues( 77 ) looked at the correlation between regional activation during the photo/word grief elicitation task described above and circulating inflammatory markers in a bereaved sample. The subgenual anterior cingulate cortical activation was correlated with circulating interleukin (IL)-1β, suggesting that those with the highest level of inflammatory activity following bereavement stress are also processing deceased-related stimuli differently. This cingulate region is active in many mental functions, but also reliably shows high levels of activation in other mood disorders. Given the known interplay between physical health and mood disorders (which may include complicated grief disorder), further investigation of this area may be a fruitful area for future research linking bereavement with medical outcomes through neural and immune processes. Future research could integrate whether the neural signatures of plausible mental processes (avoidance, rumination) are mechanisms that mediate the relationship between psychological experiences (yearning, grief severity) and medical outcomes (biomarker changes, morbidity and mortality).

Overall, progress has been made in the field of grief research, investigating how body, mind, and brain adapt. This progress has led to the awareness that nuances of the bereavement experience must be captured in order to explain medical outcomes, despite the universality of this experience. More integration between the subfields studying this unique stressful life event is needed. The historical study of grief in psychosomatic medicine has a bright and growing future.

Support received:

NIA K01 AG028404, The DANA Foundation, UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, NIMH T32-MH19925, and the California Breast Cancer Research Program 10IB-0048.

List of abbreviations:

The author has no conflicts of interest to report.

Essays About Grief: Top 5 Examples Plus 7 Prompts

Discover our guide with helpful examples of essays about grief and inspiring writing prompts to help you begin writing about this sensitive and emotional topic.

Grief is a human being’s normal but intense and overwhelming emotional response to painful events like the death of a family or friend, disasters, and other traumatic incidents. To cope, we go through five stages of grief : denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

Writing about grief can trigger strong emotions. However, many also find acknowledging the subject helpful in processing their feelings. Grief is a sensitive topic that covers morals and beliefs. It requires empathy and awareness. 

5 Essay Examples

• 1. Death And Stages Of Grief  by Anonymous on IvyPanda.Com

2. Loss And Grief by Anonymous on GradesFixer.Com

3. coping with grief by writer faith, 4. the main stages of overcoming grief by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 5. stages of grief and people’s perception of grief based on age by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 1. what is grief, 2. the best way to handle grief, 3. grief and depression, 4. when grief becomes dangerous, 5. books about grief, 6. a personal experience with grief, 7. art inspired by grief, 1. death and stages of grief   by anonymous on ivypanda.com.

“… Ignoring various philosophical and religious views, death can practically be interpreted as a complete cessation of the body’s vital functions. When faced with the death of loved ones, as well as with other traumatic events, a person usually experiences grief.”

This essay expounds on the five stages of grief defined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and what people go through in each phase. The author uses the story of the philosopher Nicholas Wolterstorff who lost his son Eric in an accident. The piece further discusses how Nicholas went through each stage, including believing in God’s promise that his son would have eternal life in heaven. The writer believes that grief doesn’t usually follow an order and sometimes appears random. Such as in Wolterstorff’s situation, where he experienced depression before the bargaining phase.

Looking for more? Check out these essays about losing a loved one .

“The loss of a loved one will always be a painful personal journey, and a coping experience that no one is ready for or can prepare for till it happens. The after effect or grief is always personal for everyone that loses a loved one.”

The author presents different poems that reflect her loss and sadness for her mother’s passing. She connects to the poem “ The Courage That My Mother Had ” and values the things her mother left behind. There are times when grieving individuals think they are healed, but one event can bring back the pain in an instant. The writer believes that grief doesn’t end after the acceptance phase. It’s because whenever we think of our loved ones who have already passed away and relive the memories we had of them, we always wish they were still with us.

“Grief is an emotion that unfortunately, we all come to experience at some time or another. However, that terrible feeling can open the door to acceptance and appreciation. Mourning and reflecting upon a tragic event can cause one to look at an issue through a different perspective, and maybe even help them to accept it.”

Faith’s essay demonstrates how tragedies can cause people to unite and support each other. Processing grief teaches the bereaved to be stronger and appreciate the people who offer comfort and encouragement. It also teaches us not to take anything for granted by cherishing even the simple things in life. Faith sees grief and terrible events as negative experiences, but they can lead to positive results that steer people to be grateful.

“Grief is one of the most complicated processes which is to be combated. Some people are able to cope with grief individually, others need assistance. There are even cases when people need professional help to cope with grief.”

The essay contains various passages that discuss the five stages of grief. The author believes denial is the root of grief in all phases. The author supposes that people can overcome grief through several methods, such as reading the bible, getting support from family and relatives, accepting the loss, and learning to live with it.

“The intensity and duration of grief may depend on many factors, such as the personality of the individual, the relationship to the deceased, and the circumstances of the death. Unexpected, sudden, or accidental death can be extremely shocking. Death of one’s child at any age is difficult to accept.”

The essay discusses how various factors, such as relationship, age, and cause of death, affect grief’s intensity and duration. It mentions that grief can last years and that losing a child at any age is the most challenging case to accept. 

The author presents various scenarios showing how these elements influence the state of grieving. For example, a person grieving the loss of their spouse may hear their voice and feel their presence in the room. 

7 Prompts for Essays About Grief

Simply defining grief in your essay won’t make it stand out among the rest. To make your piece enjoyable, describe grief in a way that probes your readers’ feelings and imagination. You can personify grief or compare it to another familiar feeling to give you an idea. For example, you can say grief is a stranger persistently reaching out to you to make you remember hurtful memories.  

We deal with grief in our own way; some take it in their stride, while some become a wreck. Use this prompt to enumerate excellent ways to deal with this heavy emotion. Ask yourself what you’ll do if you can’t get over grief and research thoroughly. Pick the most effective methods of overcoming grief and support your findings with relevant data.

There are many effects of grief, and depression is one of the most significant. Loneliness can negatively affect how a person thinks and acts, but grief makes depression worse. Write an essay with a series of situations that show how grief can lead to depression and ways to prevent it.

Here are some essays about depression to give you an idea of how to write this topic.

Grieving is a normal reaction to losing a loved one but it can turn dangerous when the individual grieving stops normally functioning for at least a year after the death. For this prompt, include reasons people break and let grief consume them, such as extreme depression and fatigue. Add signs and symptoms that can help others detect when someone’s grief becomes unsafe for the individual and the people around them.

In your essay, recommend books, documentaries, or movies detailing grief. These books can be accounts of those who already went through the grieving process and are sharing their experiences. For example, Every Word You Cannot Say by Iain S. Thomas is a delicate book that guides readers into acknowledging their feelings. Detail why these books are helpful for people grieving and recommend at least three books or other forms of media that the reader can use to cope.

Share an encounter you had with grief. Describe what you felt and narrate how you grappled with the situation. For instance, if you have ever helped someone suffering from grief, explain the step-by-step method you used and why you decided to help that person. Even if you don’t have any personal experience with grief, you can interview someone who has gone through it. Remember that it’s a delicate subject, so your questions should be diplomatic.

There are many mediums people use to process their strong feelings. One is through creating art. When writing your essay, list arts made by grief or inspired by grief. Add comments on how the artist managed to relay the loss and grief through the art. You can also share your favorite art you think best depicts grief. Like Vincent Van Gogh’s 1890 painting called “ Sorrowing Old Man .”Learn about transition words for essays to improve your work.

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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The Public and Private Management of Grief pp 23–59 Cite as

Grief as a Psychological Object of Study

• Caroline Pearce 2  
• First Online: 10 May 2019

400 Accesses

This chapter critically reviews the literature on grief and bereavement examining how grief became an object of psychological study. The review moves chronologically beginning in 1917 with Sigmund Freud’s essay ‘Mourning and Melancholia’ up to present-day debates concerning ‘complicated grief’ and ‘prolonged grief disorder.’ In this chapter Pearce argues that the dominance of psychological studies into grief has transformed grief into a problem of the individual psyche, necessitating the creation of bereavement counselling and therapies. The chapter examines the type of assumed subject on which the psychological view rests, questioning its validity. In conclusion the chapter reviews social theories of grief that have sought to describe the ways in which grief is socially shaped and constructed.

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There are two types of irony working in this story: situational and tonal. The first can be defined as the difference between the expected and the actual outcome of an event. One example of situational irony in this story lies in the feud: “We, who stayed out of politics and came halfway around the world to avoid religious and political feuding, have been the first in the New World to die from it” (195-196). Another, less tragic irony is in the fact that Bhave’s Indian parents happen to be non-religious. When visiting a temple with her mother, Bhave must keep her husband's “visitation” a secret. By contrast, she is able to commune more openly with her dead husband and sons in Toronto, a place that has more of a secular reputation than a mystical one.

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Sheryl Sandberg’s essay on grief is one of the best things I’ve read about marriage

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When my closest friend got married a few years ago, I asked her if anything felt different after the ceremony. "Yes," she said. "Realizing that my best-case scenario is now that I die first." Her tone was flip, and we both laughed. But there was truth to what she said.

I love my husband so much that I hesitate to write about him — it feels unseemly, like bragging. It is impossibly painful to even imagine life without him: his presence is the source of my greatest joy in life, just as the idea of losing him is one of my worst fears. The best-case scenario is that I die first.

Sheryl Sandberg lost her beloved husband, Dave Goldberg, 30 days ago. To mark that occasion, she has written one of the best essays I have ever read about what it feels like to confront that terrible fear, and to deal with the profound grief that comes from losing someone you love. Her description of her grief since Goldberg's death feels true not just as a statement of what it is like to lose someone you love, but also what it means to deeply love someone, and the value that our loved ones hold in our lives.

A childhood friend of mine who is now a rabbi recently told me that the most powerful one-line prayer he has ever read is: "Let me not die while I am still alive." I would have never understood that prayer before losing Dave . Now I do. I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well. But when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.

Strangely enough, the perfect companion piece to Sandberg's essay is not about loss, but about the joy of having children. Michelle Goldberg (no relation to Dave Goldberg) wrote in New York Magazine last week about what inspired her and her husband to grow their family.

"Not long ago," she writes , "I learned the Arabic word Ya'aburnee . Literally, 'you bury me,' it means wanting to die before a loved one so as not to have to face the world without him or her in it."

Goldberg realized that those words captured her feelings for her husband, and that having a child would be a way to bring more of him into the world — and a way to hold on to part of him if someday she lost him.

Goldberg and her husband now have two children, and they have enriched her life, she writes, in ways she would never have believed possible. "Before there was one person in the world for whom I would use the word Ya'aburnee , and now there are three."

Reading Sandberg's essay with Goldberg's is a reminder that the pain of loss is a worthwhile price to pay for the joy of love and marriage. Although Sandberg's husband has died, the life they built together still remains. Her essay closes with a moving promise to support what they built, and the children they had together, even as she mourns him:

I can’t even express the gratitude I feel to my family and friends who have done so much and reassured me that they will continue to be there. In the brutal moments when I am overtaken by the void, when the months and years stretch out in front of me endless and empty, only their faces pull me out of the isolation and fear. My appreciation for them knows no bounds. I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, "But I want Dave. I want option A." He put his arm around me and said, "Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B." Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, "There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love." I love you, Dave.

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