college essay guy essay format

Have a language expert improve your writing

Check your paper for plagiarism in 10 minutes, generate your apa citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• College essay
• College Essay Format & Structure | Example Outlines

College Essay Format & Structure | Example Outlines

Published on September 24, 2021 by Meredith Testa . Revised on May 31, 2023.

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay, but you should carefully plan and outline to make sure your essay flows smoothly and logically.

Typical structural choices include

• a series of vignettes with a common theme
• a single story that demonstrates your positive qualities

Table of contents

Formatting your essay, outlining the essay, structures that work: two example outlines, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

You should keep the formatting as simple as possible. Admissions officers need to work very quickly, so fancy formatting, unnecessary flourishes, and unique fonts will come off as more distracting than individual. Keep in mind that, if you’re pasting your essay into a text box, formatting like italics may not transfer.

Your essay will be easier for admissions officers to read if it is 1.5- or double-spaced. If you choose to attach a file, ensure that it is a PDF.

You don’t need a title for your essay, but you can include one, especially if you think it will add something important.

Most importantly, ensure that you stick to the word count. Most successful essays are 500–600 words. Because you’re limited in length, make sure that you write concisely . Say everything that you need to express to get your point across, but don’t use more words than necessary, and don’t repeat yourself.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Once you’ve finished brainstorming topics but before you start writing, think about your writing’s trajectory: how you’ll start the essay , develop it, and end it .

Do you want to organize it chronologically? Would you prefer to make a “sandwich” structure by introducing a topic or idea, moving away from it, and then coming back to it at the end? There’s a variety of options (and a pair of strong examples below), but make sure you consider how you’d like to structure the essay before you start writing.

Although you should organize your thoughts in an outline, you don’t have to stick to it strictly. Once you begin writing, you may find that the structure you’d originally chosen doesn’t quite work. In that case, it’s fine to try something else. Multiple drafts of the same essay are key to a good final product.

Whatever structure you choose, it should be clear and easy to follow, and it should be feasible to keep it within the  word count . Never write in a way that could confuse the reader. Remember, your audience will not be reading your essay closely!

Vignettes with a common theme

The vignette structure discusses several experiences that may seem unrelated, but the author weaves them together and unites them with a common theme.

For example, a student could write an essay exploring various instances of their ability to make the best of bad situations. A rough outline for that essay might look like this:

• In a rehearsal for a school play when a lighting fixture malfunctioned and the set caught fire, I helped extinguish it.
• To help the situation, I improvised fixes for the set and talked with the director about adding lines referencing the “disaster.”
• I didn’t get into my first-choice high school, but I became class president at the school where I ended up.
• When I had ACL surgery, I used the downtime to work on my upper body strength and challenged my friends to pull-up contests.
• How these qualities will serve me in college and in my career

Single story that demonstrates traits

The narrative structure focuses on a single overarching story that shows many aspects of a student’s character.

Some such essays focus on a relatively short event that the author details moment by moment, while others discuss the story of a longer journey, one that may cover months or years.

For example, a student might discuss trying out for a sports team as a middle schooler, high school freshman, and high school senior, using each of those instances to describe an aspect of their personality. A rough outline for that essay might look like this:

• Confident, there to have fun
• Very passionate and in love with the sport
• Little sister was born that day, so I had to go alone with a friend’s parents
• Learned to be independent and less self-centered
• Realized that as much as I love gymnastics, there are more important things
• Gave up first homecoming of high school, had to quit other activities, lost countless hours with friends
• I had to repeat level 9 and didn’t progress quickly
• I had a terrible beam routine at one competition the previous year and still had a mental block
• I got stuck on some skills, and it took over a year to learn them
• Passion from age 7, perspective from age 11, diligence from age 15

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Your college essay’s format should be as simple as possible:

• Use a standard, readable font
• Use 1.5 or double spacing
• If attaching a file, save it as a PDF
• Stick to the word count
• Avoid unusual formatting and unnecessary decorative touches

You don’t need a title for your college admissions essay , but you can include one if you think it adds something important.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Testa, M. (2023, May 31). College Essay Format & Structure | Example Outlines. Scribbr. Retrieved March 25, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/format-outline-structure/

Is this article helpful?

Meredith Testa

Other students also liked, how to revise your college admissions essay | examples, what do colleges look for in an essay | examples & tips, how to research and write a "why this college" essay, "i thought ai proofreading was useless but..".

I've been using Scribbr for years now and I know it's a service that won't disappoint. It does a good job spotting mistakes”

Create an Account

Search for Colleges

• College match quiz
• Career matching assessment
• List building & collaboration
• College & event discovery
• Resume & activity organization
• Cost calculator
• Faster applications
• See all features →

• Student progress tracker
• College search & suggestions
• List collaboration
• Direct messaging

Scoir is free for your students and for you. We also offer Advanced Solutions to help you better guide your students.

Access resources in the areas of test prep, essay support, and financial aid to better navigate every part of the admissions process.

• Student roster management
• College search
• Suggestions & matching framework
• Career assessments
• Communication & planner
• Student notes
• Supporter collaboration

College and academic advising resources to guide and inspire college counselors.

Book a Walkthrough

District Solutions

• Custom reports & dashboards
• Document sending
• College readiness curriculum
• Surveys & drive

We offer a flat 50% discount for each student who receives free or reduced lunch in your school or district.

Career development (certifications, courses & curriculum) for changemakers.

View Bonus Resources

Schedule a Consultation

Join a Demo

• Insights dashboard
• Premium Presence
• Student & guardian messaging
• Visit scheduling
• Event promotion
• Document acceptance
• Easy applications

Our pricing is fair for schools of all sizes, transparent, and rewards those schools expanding access to underserved students.

Check out content and practical guides to help inform your enrollment strategies and programs.

Supplemental Essay Guides from College Essay Guy

Looking for some extra guidance on your supplemental essays? Look no further! In this blog post, we'll be exploring College Essay Guy's incredible (and free!) Supplemental Essay Guides! Links to resources below.

What is a supplemental essay? 🤔

As College Essay Guy explains , supplemental essays are "additional pieces of writing required by many colleges, especially by highly-selective universities." These essays are different from your personal statement and focus on a prompt that is specific to that college. For example, a college may ask how you would engage in their community if admitted or why you want to study at their college specifically . Or they might ask you to share something that wouldn't be gleaned from the rest of your application: like sharing an unusual talent , a time you felt empowered or on top of the world , or what piece of technology you'd want to show a historical figure .

Why are supplemental essays important? 💡

With college applications, making a personal connection is key. These supplemental essays help add personality and unique context to your application that can further the connection between you and a reader!  Your response to prompts like those above can also allow colleges to see how you and the school fit together (and whether you've actually done your research to find out how and why you fit together), and also get a clearer sense of who you are and what you value.

Many colleges will encourage you to have fun with your supplemental essays and to use them as an opportunity to take a risk, be creative, or get a little vulnerable.

How do I write my supplemental essays? ✏️

CEG has you covered! Take a look at their Supplemental Essay Guides for a breakdown of 70+ colleges' prompts, each with examples from past students, tips and analysis for your own essays, and more!

Looking for more college essay help? 📝

Are you looking for that unique twist to make your college essay stand out? It might actually be in your niche laptop stickers or celeb fandom!  In our podcast episode, "How The 'Little Things' Make Your College Essay Stand Out," we discuss how the little things in your life can be essay inspiration, and small tweaks to make your essay really stand out.

Our guest, Tom Campbell, is a Community Manager with the College Essay Guy Team . With years of admissions experience at Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross, Tom brings such valuable experience and shares those insider insights that could make a huge difference in your college essay! Here is a preview of a few of the College Essay Guy resources we talk about in the episode: Brainstorming Exercises

• The Values Exercise in the episode (at 12:06 )
• Essence Objects Exercises  in the episode (at 13:51 )
• Includes the Laptop Sticker and iTaylor examples from the episode (at 15:17 and 20:58 ) 

How to Structure Your Essay

• Overview of Narrative and Montage paths from the episode (at 23:20)

Social Resources

• Join the College Essay Guy Students-Only Discord
• Join the College Essay Guy Parent Community

For more advice on all things high school, college applications, and more, follow us on Instagram ( @scoirinc )! See you next time for more college application advice! ☺️

The links included on this page are sponsored, and Scoir will receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

Scoir Expands Through Cristo Rey Network Partnership, Leaders in College and Career Readiness for Underserved Students

WEST CHESTER, Mar. 27, 2024 – The Cristo Rey Network, one of America's most renowned high school networks enrolling historically underserved...

The Student/Parent Partnership in College Planning

Five Keys to Success In Moving the College Process Forward While Maintaining Your Sanity!

Navigating Higher Education Budgeting Amid the Changing Admissions Landscape

Today is a unique time for college admissions and enrollment marketing.

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar.

Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges.

Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now :

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Want to build the best possible college application?

We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies . We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools , from state colleges to the Ivy League.

We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools .

Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Student and Parent Forum

Our new student and parent forum, at ExpertHub.PrepScholar.com , allow you to interact with your peers and the PrepScholar staff. See how other students and parents are navigating high school, college, and the college admissions process. Ask questions; get answers.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

Improve With Our Famous Guides

• For All Students

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 160+ SAT Points

How to Get a Perfect 1600, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 800 on Each SAT Section:

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading

Score 800 on SAT Writing

Series: How to Get to 600 on Each SAT Section:

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading

Score 600 on SAT Writing

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

What SAT Target Score Should You Be Aiming For?

15 Strategies to Improve Your SAT Essay

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 4+ ACT Points

How to Get a Perfect 36 ACT, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 36 on Each ACT Section:

36 on ACT English

36 on ACT Math

36 on ACT Reading

36 on ACT Science

Series: How to Get to 24 on Each ACT Section:

24 on ACT English

24 on ACT Math

24 on ACT Reading

24 on ACT Science

What ACT target score should you be aiming for?

ACT Vocabulary You Must Know

ACT Writing: 15 Tips to Raise Your Essay Score

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

Is the ACT easier than the SAT? A Comprehensive Guide

Should you retake your SAT or ACT?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Looking for Graduate School Test Prep?

Check out our top-rated graduate blogs here:

GRE Online Prep Blog

GMAT Online Prep Blog

TOEFL Online Prep Blog

Holly R. "I am absolutely overjoyed and cannot thank you enough for helping me!”

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Write the Pitzer College Essays 2023-2024

Pitzer College has one required supplemental essay prompt with two options, as well as one optional prompt. In the first prompt, the first option asks both what you want from your college experience broadly and why Pitzer specifically is a good fit for you, and the second asks you to reflect on your community involvement and engagement. The optional second prompt invites you to write about the background, identity, or personal interests that you would bring to Pitzer.

Since Pitzer receives thousands of applications from academically strong students, your essays are your best chance to stand out. In this post, we’ll discuss how to craft an engaging response to each of these options. Additionally, although one of the prompts is optional, we strongly encourage you to take this opportunity to teach Pitzer admissions officers something new about you. It’s already hard to fit your whole life into a college application, so any additional chance you have to describe some new side of yourself is one you should seize!

Pitzer College Supplemental Essay Prompts

Prompt 1: At Pitzer College, five core values distinguish our approach to education: social responsibility, intercultural understanding, interdisciplinary learning, student engagement, and environmental sustainability. As agents of change, our students utilize these values to create solutions to our world’s challenges. Find out more about our core values. Please choose from the following prompts and answer below:

• Option A: Describe what you are looking for from your college experience and why Pitzer would be a good fit for you. (650 words)
• Option B: Reflecting on your involvement throughout high school or within the community, how have you engaged with one of Pitzer’s core values? (650 words)

Prompt 2: As a mission-driven institution, we value and celebrate the synergy created by our differences and similarities. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, identity, or personal interests that you would bring to Pitzer, and how you plan to engage in our community. (250 words, optional)

Prompt 1, Option A

Describe what you are looking for from your college experience and why pitzer would be a good fit for you. (650 words).

This “Why This College?” prompt is a great choice for applicants who are really excited for a liberal arts college experience. Broadly speaking, liberal arts colleges pride themselves on producing well-rounded graduates who have both the qualitative and quantitative tools to understand and analyze events around them.

Pitzer specifically prides itself on educating “engaged, socially responsible citizens of the world.” If you see college as a place to grow and become a positively contributing member of society, then this essay is just the place for you to express that vision.

Of course, the strongest responses to this essay will do more than just repeat the language that Pitzer has on its website. These general ideas about engagement, citizenship, and contribution to society will manifest themselves differently in every person’s life.

Your goal, in this essay, should be to show who specifically you hope to become through your college education. This can mean a number of things—from mapping out the skills or knowledge you hope to gain to describing the social bonds you’d like to form, and from talking about the broad contributions you want to make in the world to stating the specific career path you’d like to pursue. Below, we’ll dig into ways to personalize your response to this very broad question.

Selecting a Topic

In general, brainstorming for this essay will have two parts: you’ll need to think about what you want from your college experience, and then you’ll need to research and decide on which of PItzer’s resources best support that goal. We’ll go through both these phases below!

Phase 1: Thinking about what you want from your college experience.

As you begin to think about what you’re looking for from your college experience, it’s a good idea to organize the results of your brainstorming. One way to do this is to categorize the benefits you’re looking for from your college education. Below we’ve listed four types of goals that you could have for your college education.

• Academic knowledge and skills
• Social experiences and connections
• Self-knowledge
• Career advancement

There are, of course, other goals you might have, too, but using these categories can help organize your essay. A focused, strong response to this prompt will likely:

• Focus on just one or two—or at most three—of the areas listed above.
• Home in on your specific interests within each category.
• Link those interests to your broader goals to create a compelling, holistic picture of who you are.

Phase 2: Thinking about Pitzer’s resources.

Once you’ve decided on your goals for college, you should research which features of Pitzer will help you create your ideal college experience. As you do this research, keep these pointers in mind:

Go beyond what you’ll find in one or two clicks on Pitzer’s website. Though it’s fine to write about easily findable resources, be sure to do a deeper research dive, too. Link these resources to what you’re looking for from college.

For example, if you want to gain research experience in college, a natural choice might be to write about a biology research opportunity. However, don’t just write: “I’m excited about Pitzer’s biology research opportunities.”

Instead, explain what labs you want to work in, faculty mentors you want to collaborate with, or particular topics you want to investigate and associated questions you’d like to answer. You could even give examples of current ongoing research that links to your interests. Describing specific programs and their offerings always shows that you’ve done your due diligence when it comes to getting to know what a college has to offer. Be sure to explain what specific skills or insights you’ll gain from research at Pitzer.

Avoid writing about common college resources in general terms. Along similar lines as our previous point, if you’re writing about an opportunity or resource that most colleges and universities offer, be sure to explain why this resource is distinct and especially exciting at Pitzer.

For example: Almost all liberal arts colleges have an English major. If you’re excited to pursue an English major at Pitzer, be sure to highlight what makes their program stand out—and how it will help you achieve your specific goals. The resources you mention could be anything from creative writing workshops to particular faculty members to specific student groups affiliated with the department.

Some college applicants have clear academic or professional goals, while other students want to explore new areas in college in order to decide on an academic or professional path. Regardless of whether you already have concrete long-term goals or not, this prompt could work well for you. However, you will need to find a way to make more speculative or vague goals feel detailed, personal, and compelling.

Here are some examples of students with less clear goals (example 1) and with more clear goals (example 2), and what they might be able to do to strengthen their respective essays.

Example 1: This writer doesn’t have a clear idea of what subject he wants to study or what career he wants to pursue. However, he does know that he loves art and cares a lot about the climate crisis. This applicant writes about how he wants to explore academically and be inspired and challenged by his peers so that he can discover new ways to deploy his skills to help fight climate change.

In his body paragraphs, this writer could describe specific, interdisciplinary courses and research opportunities he wants to pursue at Pitzer, explaining how his research will build upon what he learns in class to support his overarching goals. Then, in another paragraph, he could write about extracurricular experiences related to his interests that will allow him to engage with peers who can help him continue to clarify his path forward.

Example 2: This student knows that she wants to become a doctor. Her goal as an undergraduate is to get a well-rounded liberal arts education so that she can understand the social and political dynamics that affect health. She also wants to build an excellent foundation of knowledge through her pre-med classes so that she will be a strong, prepared applicant to medical school.

Because this student has very clear, career-oriented goals, she could focus one paragraph on Pitzer’s academic resources, which will give her a broad understanding of social and economic conditions. In another paragraph, she could focus on Pitzer’s pre-med resources. And finally, another paragraph could be about volunteer opportunities that will allow the student to contextualize her medical interests within her broad understanding of the world around her, giving her practical experience that will help her determine how she can best utilize her skills to help others.

Writing Your Essay

Here are a few tips to make your final draft as strong as possible:

Link the things that draw you to Pitzer to your broader goals. It won’t be difficult to identify features of Pitzer that excite you, so long as you do your research always thinking about how particular opportunities align with you goals. Take the time to connect the things you love about Pitzer to your essay’s larger theme (i.e., what you want from your college experience).

Stay focused. You might find yourself tempted to write about fifty wonderful things you’ve heard about Pitzer. However, you should aim for quality, not quantity. An essay that offers an in-depth explanation of how you would use just one or two Pitzer resources would be far stronger than an essay that lists many resources but offers only minimal thoughtful, personal analysis of why those aspects of the school appeal to you.

Avoid name-dropping. It’s easy to cram your essay with the names of distinguished faculty members or prominent research programs. Resist this temptation! Instead, take the time to make sure your reader understands why you’re excited about a particular resource.

For example:

• Name-dropping: “In particular, I’m excited to work with faculty members like Professor Smith.”
• Not name-dropping: “Forensic anthropology is a small field, and I have found very few professors working in my area of interest. At Pitzer, I would have the unique opportunity to work with Professor Smith on…”

Prompt 1, Option B

Reflecting on your involvement throughout high school or within the community, how have you engaged with one of pitzer’s core values (650 words), understanding the prompt.

This community service prompt is a great choice for applicants who are particularly excited about one of Pitzer’s core values .

The phrasing of this prompt may seem like you’re being asked to write about a whole period of your life or general community involvement. However, the strongest responses will focus in on particular “moments” or “experiences” to show:

• That you have thought deeply about the core value in question, and
• That you actually live out or engage with this value in your daily life.

Though it might be tempting to try to show how you live out this value in many different parts of your life, or over the whole course of your whole high school career, a more focused essay will be more compelling. Trying to write an essay that surveys your entire high school career will likely prove stressful and counterproductive, as four years cannot fit into 650 words!

Remember that this essay is ultimately about you and your engagement with one of Pitzer’s values. This means that clubs or activities that you were only involved in as a member or infrequent participant might not be the best choice. Though essays about teamwork or group activities can absolutely be strong, your own voice and role should be clear.

For example, if you want to write about environmental sustainability, you might be choosing between writing about your membership in your school’s sustainability club and a project that you started at your grandmother’s nursing home to reduce food waste. Here, the project you initiated at your grandmother’s nursing home would be a better choice, because it shows your own vision and motivation, rather than describing your more engagement as one member (even if you’re an active member) of a school club.

Finally, remember to avoid the temptation to fit all the times you’ve engaged with Pitzer’s values into one essay. Below are examples of strong topics that stay focused on one particular way that the writer has engaged with one of Pitzer’s core values.

Value: Social responsibility

Essay Topic: Overhauling your baseball team to make it both greener and more integrated into the broader community.

The essay could begin with a paragraph describing how the writer noticed that their baseball team’s games often resulted in large amounts of trash in the field’s bin, and limited community access to a public field. The author could then explain that he realized that his team had a negative impact on the community, and he decided he wanted to change that.

The rest of the essay could describe changes that the writer implemented to make his team’s impact on the community more positive. First, the writer could describe how he got his school to provide reusable bottles to the team, as well as a water cooler. In addition, the writer could describe how the team worked with the league to move their game times, so that a senior softball team could play on weekends, and also started leading fundraisers to support local little league teams.

Strengths of this essay:

• This essay has potential because it focuses on a particular “before and after” situation; the writer clearly shows their feeling of responsibility towards those around them.
• This essay is also quite focused, which will allow the writer to incorporate specific, vivid descriptions of observations and actions, rather than trying to blow through a much longer story at breakneck speed.

Value: Interdisciplinary Learning

Essay Topic: A group science fair project that examined how music helps mice learn.

This essay would focus not only on the project itself, but also on the reason for the writer’s interest in an interdisciplinary project. The writer could begin by describing a discussion she had with a musician friend about the psychological and physiological benefits of music.

The writer could then describe how she shared this discussion with her lab group and how, together, they decided to try to do their own research into the link between music and learning. The essay should not focus on specific experimental methodology (which is not so relevant to the question), but rather on the experience of interdisciplinary work and which lessons the writer took away.

Strengths of this topic:

• This essay clearly shows the student’s love of interdisciplinary work—the science fair project combines elements of psychology, biology, and music, at a minimum.
• This essay shows the writer’s curiosity, motivation, and ability to plan, initiate, and complete a challenging project.
• This essay is focused on a particular experience, and so will likely have depth and detail, providing insight into who the writer is and how she thinks about and approaches problems.

As you begin to write your response to this prompt, keep the following pointers in mind:

Be sure that your essay is clearly focused on one of Pitzer’s values. Though it might be tempting to try to fit in other values, stay focused. It’s fine to hint at other values—for instance, Example 1 above clearly has links to “environmental sustainability” as well as “social responsibility”—but be sure that Pitzer’s admissions committee gets a clear, compelling understanding of what one of their values means to you.

Though your top priority should be making sure that the value you’ve chosen is clear, avoid repetitive or generic language. In particular, many applicants are likely to reuse the language of the prompt (“I have engaged with the core value of social responsibility by…”). Instead, use your own words and link these terms to your own experience (“As I looked at the trash around the field, I realized that my teammates and I did not play a responsible role in our community.”).

Finally as we’ve already noted above, avoid a broad, high-level summary of your life or high school career. Focus on specific moments to show the reader how you have engaged with these values, rather than telling a long-winded, birds-eye view story about what you have done.

As a mission-driven institution, we value and celebrate the synergy created by our differences and similarities. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, identity, or personal interests that you would bring to Pitzer, and how you plan to engage in our community. (250 words, optional)

This is one instance of the very common diversity prompt . When colleges have this kind of prompt, they want to know about your own personal background and how it has influenced your worldview and perspectives.

First, a quick note if you intend to write about your racial background. In June 2023, the United States Supreme Court struck down the use of affirmative action in college admissions. The ruling, however, still allows colleges to consider race on an individual basis, which is one reason many schools are now including diversity prompts as one of their supplemental essay prompts. If you feel that your racial background has impacted you significantly, this is the place to discuss that, as otherwise schools will be legally unable to factor your race into their admissions decision.

The traditional approach to this kind of prompt is describing what you think is the most important part of your identity, then briefly discussing how that aspect of diversity is relevant to you and your general life experiences.

Such a response might be written about one of the following scenarios:

• Using your fluency in another language to help members of a specific community.
• Interpreting a text in class differently from your classmates because of your ethnic culture.
• Having a friend of a different background who has changed your perspective on something important.
• Having an illness or disability that helps you view accessibility through a different lens than your peers.
• Being part of a niche interest group/fandom and trying to represent the group faithfully when talking to people who aren’t members of it.

Simply listing things that people typically associate with diversity should be avoided. Sure, diversity includes different ethnicities/races, gender identities, sexual orientations, countries of origin, and languages, but writing out a laundry list of how you identify within each of those categories will make your essay feel like a census report, not a personal reflection. Instead, highlight just one thing you feel is especially important, and really let Pitzer’s admissions officers inside your head so they can understand how this particular aspect of your identity has shaped your growth and development.

Also, bear in mind that the traditional markers of diversity aren’t the only ones you can discuss. There are other aspects of identity that can make a campus community diverse, including socioeconomic classes, hometowns, illnesses/disabilities, and even interests or hobbies.

Once you have chosen your aspect of background or identity, describe how it has influenced you and your life. Often, the best way to do this is through a meaningful anecdote. As you brainstorm formative life experiences related to this aspect of your identity, think about the following questions for each experience:

• What happened?
• What was going through your mind and how did you feel as it happened?
• How have your emotions about the event changed over time?
• Have you faced any challenges as a result of membership in this community or your background?

After describing your identity through an anecdote, you need to address how this feature of who you are will allow you to contribute to the Pitzer community. Remember, the more specific, the better. Browse Pitzer’s student organizations and find one that connects to the aspect of your background you wrote about, as that will make your essay cohesive and easy to follow.

For example, a student who has been learning baking recipes from her grandmother since she was little might write about wanting to join the Baking Club to share these delicious desserts with other students.

Or, maybe at home a student was part of a large Jewish community and didn’t have to go out of his way to connect with others, but at college he plans to join Hillel to ensure he has that established community.

To summarize: think of what diversity means to you and what you consider to be a particularly significant aspect of your own diverse background. From there, think of personal anecdotes or stories that show how that smaller piece of you has contributed to your overall growth and development as a person. Finally, write about specific ways in which you intend to use this aspect of identity to contribute to the Pitzer community!

Where to Get Your Pitzer College Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Pitzer essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts