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How to write a thesis statement, what is a thesis statement.

Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.

Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?

• to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
• to better organize and develop your argument
• to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can You Write a Good Thesis Statement?

Here are some helpful hints to get you started. You can either scroll down or select a link to a specific topic.

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .”

A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .”

The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

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How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned

Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

• take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree
• deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
• express one main idea
• assert your conclusions about a subject

Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic . Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption.

This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic . Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children.

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic.

Take a position on the topic. After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague.

Use specific language . You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices , so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. a strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand..

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because , since , so , although , unless , and however .

4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

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Developing Strong Thesis Statements

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The thesis statement or main claim must be debatable

An argumentative or persuasive piece of writing must begin with a debatable thesis or claim. In other words, the thesis must be something that people could reasonably have differing opinions on. If your thesis is something that is generally agreed upon or accepted as fact then there is no reason to try to persuade people.

Example of a non-debatable thesis statement:

This thesis statement is not debatable. First, the word pollution implies that something is bad or negative in some way. Furthermore, all studies agree that pollution is a problem; they simply disagree on the impact it will have or the scope of the problem. No one could reasonably argue that pollution is unambiguously good.

Example of a debatable thesis statement:

This is an example of a debatable thesis because reasonable people could disagree with it. Some people might think that this is how we should spend the nation's money. Others might feel that we should be spending more money on education. Still others could argue that corporations, not the government, should be paying to limit pollution.

Another example of a debatable thesis statement:

In this example there is also room for disagreement between rational individuals. Some citizens might think focusing on recycling programs rather than private automobiles is the most effective strategy.

The thesis needs to be narrow

Although the scope of your paper might seem overwhelming at the start, generally the narrower the thesis the more effective your argument will be. Your thesis or claim must be supported by evidence. The broader your claim is, the more evidence you will need to convince readers that your position is right.

Example of a thesis that is too broad:

There are several reasons this statement is too broad to argue. First, what is included in the category "drugs"? Is the author talking about illegal drug use, recreational drug use (which might include alcohol and cigarettes), or all uses of medication in general? Second, in what ways are drugs detrimental? Is drug use causing deaths (and is the author equating deaths from overdoses and deaths from drug related violence)? Is drug use changing the moral climate or causing the economy to decline? Finally, what does the author mean by "society"? Is the author referring only to America or to the global population? Does the author make any distinction between the effects on children and adults? There are just too many questions that the claim leaves open. The author could not cover all of the topics listed above, yet the generality of the claim leaves all of these possibilities open to debate.

Example of a narrow or focused thesis:

In this example the topic of drugs has been narrowed down to illegal drugs and the detriment has been narrowed down to gang violence. This is a much more manageable topic.

We could narrow each debatable thesis from the previous examples in the following way:

Narrowed debatable thesis 1:

This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just the amount of money used but also how the money could actually help to control pollution.

Narrowed debatable thesis 2:

This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just what the focus of a national anti-pollution campaign should be but also why this is the appropriate focus.

Qualifiers such as " typically ," " generally ," " usually ," or " on average " also help to limit the scope of your claim by allowing for the almost inevitable exception to the rule.

Types of claims

Claims typically fall into one of four categories. Thinking about how you want to approach your topic, or, in other words, what type of claim you want to make, is one way to focus your thesis on one particular aspect of your broader topic.

Claims of fact or definition: These claims argue about what the definition of something is or whether something is a settled fact. Example:

Claims of cause and effect: These claims argue that one person, thing, or event caused another thing or event to occur. Example:

Claims about value: These are claims made of what something is worth, whether we value it or not, how we would rate or categorize something. Example:

Claims about solutions or policies: These are claims that argue for or against a certain solution or policy approach to a problem. Example:

Which type of claim is right for your argument? Which type of thesis or claim you use for your argument will depend on your position and knowledge of the topic, your audience, and the context of your paper. You might want to think about where you imagine your audience to be on this topic and pinpoint where you think the biggest difference in viewpoints might be. Even if you start with one type of claim you probably will be using several within the paper. Regardless of the type of claim you choose to utilize it is key to identify the controversy or debate you are addressing and to define your position early on in the paper.

Thesis Statements

What this handout is about.

This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing, and how you can craft or refine one for your draft.

Introduction

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you’ll make in the rest of your paper.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:

• tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
• is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
• directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
• makes a claim that others might dispute.
• is usually a single sentence near the beginning of your paper (most often, at the end of the first paragraph) that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I create a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis” that presents a basic or main idea and an argument that you think you can support with evidence. Both the argument and your thesis are likely to need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming .

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following :

• Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question. If the prompt isn’t phrased as a question, try to rephrase it. For example, “Discuss the effect of X on Y” can be rephrased as “What is the effect of X on Y?”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is likely to  be “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
• Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It’s okay to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Suppose you are taking a course on contemporary communication, and the instructor hands out the following essay assignment: “Discuss the impact of social media on public awareness.” Looking back at your notes, you might start with this working thesis:

Social media impacts public awareness in both positive and negative ways.

You can use the questions above to help you revise this general statement into a stronger thesis.

• Do I answer the question? You can analyze this if you rephrase “discuss the impact” as “what is the impact?” This way, you can see that you’ve answered the question only very generally with the vague “positive and negative ways.”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not likely. Only people who maintain that social media has a solely positive or solely negative impact could disagree.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? No. What are the positive effects? What are the negative effects?
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? No. Why are they positive? How are they positive? What are their causes? Why are they negative? How are they negative? What are their causes?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? No. Why should anyone care about the positive and/or negative impact of social media?

After thinking about your answers to these questions, you decide to focus on the one impact you feel strongly about and have strong evidence for:

Because not every voice on social media is reliable, people have become much more critical consumers of information, and thus, more informed voters.

This version is a much stronger thesis! It answers the question, takes a specific position that others can challenge, and it gives a sense of why it matters.

Let’s try another. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a pad of paper and write:

Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.

You begin to analyze your thesis:

• Do I answer the question? No. The prompt asks you to analyze some aspect of the novel. Your working thesis is a statement of general appreciation for the entire novel.

Think about aspects of the novel that are important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.

• Do I answer the question? Yes!
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not really. This contrast is well-known and accepted.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? It’s getting there–you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for investigation. However, it’s still not clear what your analysis will reveal.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? Not yet. Compare scenes from the book and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and reactions and anything else that seems interesting.
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? What’s the point of this contrast? What does it signify?”

After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Lunsford, Andrea A. 2015. The St. Martin’s Handbook , 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Ramage, John D., John C. Bean, and June Johnson. 2018. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing , 8th ed. New York: Pearson.

Ruszkiewicz, John J., Christy Friend, Daniel Seward, and Maxine Hairston. 2010. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers , 9th ed. Boston: Pearson Education.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Refining thesis statements, what makes for an effective thesis.

In an effort to make our handouts more accessible, we have begun converting our PDF handouts to web pages. Download this page as a PDF: Refining Thesis Statements Return to Writing Studio Handouts

An effective thesis should be argumentative and controversial (i.e., if you could make a plausible case against your thesis, it is probably an argument), something not immediately obvious which you can persuade a reader to believe through the evidence in the body of your paper.

A strong thesis statement answers a specific question and takes a distinct position on the topic, is focused, and allows the reader to anticipate the organization of the argument to follow.

A weak thesis statement is vague (identifies a topic but does not specify an argument), offers plot summary or is a statement of fact, is un-provable, or does not give the reader a sense of why the argument is important.

Look over the two example thesis statements below. Consider and name how each of the progressively refined versions matches the criteria offered above.

Example Thesis A

Version 1: Marge Simpson is important to the plot of The Simpsons.

Version 2:  Marge Simpson is important to The Simpsons because she fulfills a significant family role as a mother and housewife.

Version 3:  Marge Simpson is important to The Simpsons because she fulfills a significant family role as a teacher and caregiver to her husband and children.

Version 4:  While Marge Simpson may be a model caregiver for her family, she is a different sort of model for her audience.

Version 5:  Despite her role as a seemingly submissive housewife and mother, Marge Simpson comes to function for the audience of The Simpsons as a subversive force against “middle class” values.

Example Thesis B

Version 1:  Eating disorders are a significant problem among college-aged students.

Version 2:  Eating disorders are a significant problem among college-aged men because they negatively affect academic performance, socializing, and overall psychological well-being.

Version 3:  Eating disorders among college-aged men are overshadowed by a focus on eating disorders among college-aged women.

Version 4:  Eating disorders among college-aged men are overshadowed by a focus on eating disorders among college-aged women; people don’t notice this because an eating disorder is typically considered a women’s disease and is stigmatized as such.

Version 5: Lack of attention to eating disorders among college-aged men not only leaves this group of students untreated, but also exacerbates feelings of isolation associated with this disease.

This handout was originally produced by Jane Wanninger, Graduate Student, Department of English, Vanderbilt University

Last revised: 07/2009 | Adapted for web delivery: 04/2021

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How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement: 4 Steps + Examples

What’s Covered:

What is the purpose of a thesis statement, writing a good thesis statement: 4 steps, common pitfalls to avoid, where to get your essay edited for free.

When you set out to write an essay, there has to be some kind of point to it, right? Otherwise, your essay would just be a big jumble of word salad that makes absolutely no sense. An essay needs a central point that ties into everything else. That main point is called a thesis statement, and it’s the core of any essay or research paper.

You may hear about Master degree candidates writing a thesis, and that is an entire paper–not to be confused with the thesis statement, which is typically one sentence that contains your paper’s focus. 

Read on to learn more about thesis statements and how to write them. We’ve also included some solid examples for you to reference.

Typically the last sentence of your introductory paragraph, the thesis statement serves as the roadmap for your essay. When your reader gets to the thesis statement, they should have a clear outline of your main point, as well as the information you’ll be presenting in order to either prove or support your point. 

The thesis statement should not be confused for a topic sentence , which is the first sentence of every paragraph in your essay. If you need help writing topic sentences, numerous resources are available. Topic sentences should go along with your thesis statement, though.

Since the thesis statement is the most important sentence of your entire essay or paper, it’s imperative that you get this part right. Otherwise, your paper will not have a good flow and will seem disjointed. That’s why it’s vital not to rush through developing one. It’s a methodical process with steps that you need to follow in order to create the best thesis statement possible.

Step 1: Decide what kind of paper you’re writing

When you’re assigned an essay, there are several different types you may get. Argumentative essays are designed to get the reader to agree with you on a topic. Informative or expository essays present information to the reader. Analytical essays offer up a point and then expand on it by analyzing relevant information. Thesis statements can look and sound different based on the type of paper you’re writing. For example:

• Argumentative: The United States needs a viable third political party to decrease bipartisanship, increase options, and help reduce corruption in government.
• Informative: The Libertarian party has thrown off elections before by gaining enough support in states to get on the ballot and by taking away crucial votes from candidates.
• Analytical: An analysis of past presidential elections shows that while third party votes may have been the minority, they did affect the outcome of the elections in 2020, 2016, and beyond.

Step 2: Figure out what point you want to make

Once you know what type of paper you’re writing, you then need to figure out the point you want to make with your thesis statement, and subsequently, your paper. In other words, you need to decide to answer a question about something, such as:

• What impact did reality TV have on American society?
• How has the musical Hamilton affected perception of American history?
• Why do I want to major in [chosen major here]?

If you have an argumentative essay, then you will be writing about an opinion. To make it easier, you may want to choose an opinion that you feel passionate about so that you’re writing about something that interests you. For example, if you have an interest in preserving the environment, you may want to choose a topic that relates to that. 

If you’re writing your college essay and they ask why you want to attend that school, you may want to have a main point and back it up with information, something along the lines of:

“Attending Harvard University would benefit me both academically and professionally, as it would give me a strong knowledge base upon which to build my career, develop my network, and hopefully give me an advantage in my chosen field.”

Step 3: Determine what information you’ll use to back up your point

Once you have the point you want to make, you need to figure out how you plan to back it up throughout the rest of your essay. Without this information, it will be hard to either prove or argue the main point of your thesis statement. If you decide to write about the Hamilton example, you may decide to address any falsehoods that the writer put into the musical, such as:

“The musical Hamilton, while accurate in many ways, leaves out key parts of American history, presents a nationalist view of founding fathers, and downplays the racism of the times.”

Once you’ve written your initial working thesis statement, you’ll then need to get information to back that up. For example, the musical completely leaves out Benjamin Franklin, portrays the founding fathers in a nationalist way that is too complimentary, and shows Hamilton as a staunch abolitionist despite the fact that his family likely did own slaves. 

Step 4: Revise and refine your thesis statement before you start writing

Read through your thesis statement several times before you begin to compose your full essay. You need to make sure the statement is ironclad, since it is the foundation of the entire paper. Edit it or have a peer review it for you to make sure everything makes sense and that you feel like you can truly write a paper on the topic. Once you’ve done that, you can then begin writing your paper.

When writing a thesis statement, there are some common pitfalls you should avoid so that your paper can be as solid as possible. Make sure you always edit the thesis statement before you do anything else. You also want to ensure that the thesis statement is clear and concise. Don’t make your reader hunt for your point. Finally, put your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph and have your introduction flow toward that statement. Your reader will expect to find your statement in its traditional spot.

If you’re having trouble getting started, or need some guidance on your essay, there are tools available that can help you. CollegeVine offers a free peer essay review tool where one of your peers can read through your essay and provide you with valuable feedback. Getting essay feedback from a peer can help you wow your instructor or college admissions officer with an impactful essay that effectively illustrates your point.

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Chapter 5: Putting the Pieces Together with a Thesis Statement

5.2 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning Objectives

• Develop a strong, clear thesis statement with the proper elements
• Revise your thesis statement

Have you ever known someone who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following the train of thought as the storyteller jumped from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe the person told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. The ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement  to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a  controlling idea —the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your instructor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful, and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities:

Specificity: A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision: A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Arguability: A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Demonstrability: For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness/Assertiveness: A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence: In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Self-Practice Exercise 5.4

H5P: Drafting Thesis StatementsWrite a clear, confident thesis statement for an essay on the following topic:

• Texting while driving.
• The legal drinking age in different provinces of Canada.
• Steroid use among professional athletes.

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the qualities discussed above: specificity, precision, arguability, demonstrability, forcefulness/assertiveness, and confidence.

• The societal and personal struggles of Floyd in the play Where the Blood Mixes, by Kevin Loring, symbolize the challenge of First Nations people of Canada who lived through segregation and placement into residential schools.
• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
• J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look four pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis.

• A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay. Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.
• A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side. Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across the country are trying to legislate their puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.
• A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end. Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.
• A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad. Weak thesis statement :  The life of Pierre Trudeau was long and accomplished.

Self-Practice Exercise 5.5

H5P: Read the following thesis statements and identify each as weak or strong.

• “The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.”
• “The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.”
• “Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the 19th century.”
• “In this essay, I will give you a lot of reasons why marijuana should not be legalized in British Columbia.”
• “Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.”
• “My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.”

Writing at Work

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an email. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your email request. While your email will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Writing a Thesis Statement

One legitimate question readers always ask about a piece of writing is “What is the big idea?” (You may even ask this question when you are the reader, critically reading an assignment or another document.) Every nonfiction writing task—from the short essay to the 10-page term paper to the lengthy senior thesis—needs a big idea, or a controlling idea, as the “spine” for the work. The controlling idea is the main idea that you want to present and develop.

The big idea, or controlling idea, you want to present in an essay is expressed in your thesis statement. Remember that a thesis statement is often one sentence long, and it states your point of view. The thesis statement is not the topic of the piece of writing but rather what you have to say about that topic and what is important to tell readers.

Look at Table 5.1: Topics and Thesis Statements  for a comparison of topics and thesis statements.

The first thesis statement you write will be a preliminary thesis statement , or a working thesis statement . You will need it when you begin to outline your assignment as a way to organize it. As you continue to develop the arrangement, you can limit your working thesis statement if it is too broad or expand it if it proves too narrow for what you want to say.

Self-Practice Exercise 5.6

H5P: Working Toward a Working Thesis

We’re going to use that free writing strategy again. This time, try to write for ten minutes, and write down anything you know right now about your newly narrowed thesis statement. Don’t worry about looking material up or whether you’re getting everything exactly right. Instead, just focus on getting words on the screen. This is rough work to help you approach an answer to a question, not the final essay. So just keep writing.

Can you find something in your freewriting that looks like a “controlling idea”? Something that might centre your argument, something you can structure your argument around? We’ll call that your working thesis. Draft a working thesis below.

Collaboration: Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

Revising a Thesis Statement

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember, you begin with a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

• Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.
• Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.
• Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.
• Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.
• Working thesis: British Columbian schoolteachers are not paid enough.
• Revised thesis: The legislature of British Columbia cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are. Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Reading the original thesis statement above, readers might wonder why teachers are not paid enough, but the statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask him- or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue. For example, the writer could ask:

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results
• Working thesis: Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.
• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behaviour show up?
• What are the repercussions?

Self-practice exercise  5.7

H5P:  Polishing the Thesis Statement

A working thesis statement is always a work in progress, and we make it stronger by asking questions of it and challenging the first draft. That’s the next job you have! It takes many revisions to make your work the best it can be, so try not to get frustrated by the process.

• Copy your working thesis statement for reference here.
• Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness. Recopy the newly revised thesis below.
• Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs gives information about the subject, such as a condition or relationship (is, appear, smell, sound), but they do not show any action. The most common linking verb is any forms of the verb to be, a verb that simply states that a situation exists. Recopy the newly revised thesis below.
• Omit any general claims that are hard to support. Recopy the newly revised thesis below.

Just Asking Questions

Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis. The most straightforward way to do this is to ask yourself the 5WHs again — who, what, where, when, why, and how — and see were you can make your thesis statement more specific. List the questions you have about your own thesis below.

Now do your best to answer those questions.

And finally, revise your thesis in relation to these points and share it below.

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revising to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. The techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

Key Takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and supported with evidence.
• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Writing for Success - 1st Canadian H5P Edition Copyright © 2021 by Tara Horkoff is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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II. Getting Started

2.5 Writing Thesis Statements

Kathryn Crowther; Lauren Curtright; Nancy Gilbert; Barbara Hall; Tracienne Ravita; and Kirk Swenson

To be effective, all support in an essay must work together to convey a central point; otherwise, an essay can fall into the trap of being out of order and confusing. Just as a topic sentence focuses and unifies a single paragraph, the thesis statement focuses and unifies an entire essay. This statement is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination; it tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point.

Because writing is not a linear process, you may find that the best thesis statement develops near the end of your first draft. However, creating a draft or working thesis early in the writing project helps give the drafting process clear direction. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

A thesis is not just a topic, but rather the writer’s comment or interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic you select (for example, school uniforms, social networking), you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful, and confident.

In the majority of essays, a thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of the introductory paragraph. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body paragraphs. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

Working Thesis Statements

A strong thesis statement must have the following qualities:

• It must be arguable.  A thesis statement must state a point of view or judgment about a topic. An established fact is not considered arguable.
• It must be supportable.  The thesis statement must contain a point of view that can be supported with evidence (reasons, facts, examples).
• It must be specific. A thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and remain focused on the topic.

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.
• The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxson in the play Fences symbolize the challenges of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.

Pitfalls to Avoid

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak Thesis Statement Example

My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

Your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing. Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and develop new ideas and reasons for those ideas. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

• Pinpoint and replace all non specific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Pinpoint and Replace Example

Working thesis:  Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis:  Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use, and be appreciated for, their talents.

Explanation:  The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus their research and gain more direction in their writing. The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard.

• Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Clarify Example

Working thesis:  The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis:  The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

Explanation:  A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke and more accurately defines their stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

• Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Replace with Action Verbs Example

Working thesis:  Kansas City school teachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis:  The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

Explanation:  The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions.

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• How much is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results?
• Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Omit General Claims Example

Working thesis:  Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on the internet and social media are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

Explanation:  It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

This section contains material from:

Crowther, Kathryn, Lauren Curtright, Nancy Gilbert, Barbara Hall, Tracienne Ravita, and Kirk Swenson. Successful College Composition . 2nd ed. Book 8. Georgia: English Open Textbooks, 2016. http://oer.galileo.usg.edu/english-textbooks/8 . Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License .

Relating to lines; a way of explaining information logically and/or sequentially; can refer to the chronological relaying of information.

A brief and concise statement or series of statements that outlines the main point(s) of a longer work. To summarize is to create a brief and concise statement or series of statements that outlines the main point(s) of a longer work.

To analyze closely or minutely; to scrutinize every aspect. Unlike the fields of biology, anatomy, or medicine, in rhetoric and writing, dissect does not refer to the cutting apart of a physical body but to the taking apart the body of an argument or idea piece by piece to understand it better.

A logical, rational, lucid, or understandable expression of an idea, concept, or notion; consistent and harmonious explanation.

Assertion or announcement of belief, understanding, or knowledge; a formal statement or proclamation.

Without a defined number or limit; unlimited, infinite, or undetermined.

An altered version of  a written work. Revising means to rewrite in order to improve and make corrections. Unlike editing, which involves minor changes, revisions include major and noticeable changes to a written work.

Not relevant; unimportant; beside the point; not relating to the matter at hand.

Attractive, tempting, or seductive; to have an appealing and charismatic quality.

To influence or convince; to produce a certain or specific result through the use of force.

2.5 Writing Thesis Statements Copyright © 2022 by Kathryn Crowther; Lauren Curtright; Nancy Gilbert; Barbara Hall; Tracienne Ravita; and Kirk Swenson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Table of Contents

Ai, ethics & human agency, collaboration, information literacy, writing process, when is a thesis considered weak.

What is a weak thesis? How can a weak thesis be revised to make it stronger and more insightful? How should a thesis be developed?

A well-developed thesis statement should clearly and concisely communicate the main point, purpose, or argument of a paper. A weak thesis may be unfocused, incomplete, or inaccurate in some way. Building a focused, accurate thesis can be a challenge, but revising a weak thesis to make it complete and insightful will strengthen the paper’s foundation.

Related Concepts: Organizational Schema; Thesis, Research Question, Hypothesis, Title ; Weak Thesis

How can a weak thesis be revised to make it stronger and more insightful?

• Weak : Should schools require students to take Physical Education courses or play a school sport?
• Revised : A productive form of physical activity should be offered by schools to encourage healthy exercise habits and to lower childhood obesity rates.
• Weak : Taking affirmative action is a way to confront discrimination.
• Revised : Taking affirmative action is still necessary today to confront discrimination and ensure fair representation of gender and ethnicity within universities and workplaces.
• Weak : Marijuana should not be legalized because smoking it is morally wrong.
• Revised : Marijuana should not be legalized because research has shown that its use negatively affects brain cells, compromises the user’s judgment, and can become addictive.

• Weak: Teenagers have things easier than in the past due to several advancements in society.
• Revised: Today’s teenagers can access information quickly and easily due to technological advancements such as the wide availability of computers, high-speed Internet connections, and electronically searchable databases.
• Weak: Providing iPads for each student is probably an unrealistic goal because damaging cuts are being made to educational spending, but this new technology should be provided as it is a useful tool for teaching students several skills.
• Revised: Public schools should provide an iPad for each student because the device can be used as a helpful teaching tool in a variety of subject areas.

How should a thesis be developed?

• e. g., unwanted teen pregnancy

The main point, purpose, or argument

• e. g., incidence can be reduced

The how or why of the purpose or argument

• e. g., by providing support for abstinence programs, increasing funding for sex education, and making contraceptives more accessible to teens

Example of a well-developed thesis:

The incidence of unwanted teen pregnancies can be reduced by providing support for abstinence programs, increasing funding for sex education, and making contraceptives more accessible to teens.

Brevity - Say More with Less

Clarity (in Speech and Writing)

Coherence - How to Achieve Coherence in Writing

Flow - How to Create Flow in Writing

Inclusivity - Inclusive Language

The Elements of Style - The DNA of Powerful Writing

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9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning objectives.

• Develop a strong, clear thesis statement with the proper elements.
• Revise your thesis statement.

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea —the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities.

Specificity. A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision. A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Ability to be argued. A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated. For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness. A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence. In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe . These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Remember to make each statement specific, precise, demonstrable, forceful and confident.

• Texting while driving
• The legal drinking age in the United States
• Steroid use among professional athletes

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

• Specificity
• Ability to be argued
• Ability to be demonstrated
• Forcefulness
• The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the challenge of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.
• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
• J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

Weak thesis statement: The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Read the following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a strong thesis.

• The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
• The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
• Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
• In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
• Despite his promises during his campaign, President Kennedy took few executive measures to support civil rights legislation.
• Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
• My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Writing at Work

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an e-mail. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-mail request. While your e-mail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Thesis Statement Revision

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember from Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” that your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement , an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people , everything , society , or life , with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.

2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke . The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. (See Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” for more information on the 5WH questions.) By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis: Kansas City schoolteachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis: The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results

4. Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis: Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

In the first section of Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” , you determined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then completed a freewriting exercise about an event you recently experienced and chose a general topic to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the 5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three methods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis statement.

Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statement. Identify any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statement to reflect the elements of a strong thesis statement. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, demonstrable, forceful, and confident.

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

Key Takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.
• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Writing for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Module 7: Drafting a Research Paper

What makes a thesis statement work, learning objectives.

Recognize the qualities of a strong thesis statement

A good thesis statement packs a lot of punch into a relatively short sentence. If you’ve done your job, the reader should be able to get your topic, claim, argument, and main points, all from one clear statement. There are a few key components to watch out for when evaluating whether or not you’ve written a strong thesis.

A Strong Thesis Statement ADDS UP:

You should be confident in your argument. Don’t use phrases like “I feel” or “I believe” – these will weaken your argument and convey to the reader that you are the only person who feels the way you do. You should take an authoritative stance to persuade your readers to accept your argument and open their minds to what you have to say. There’s no room to be wishy-washy when it comes to a thesis, especially not in an argumentative paper. You need to come in with a firm stance and assert your conviction. After all, if you don’t stand behind your argument, why should the reader?

• This statement leaves a lot of wiggle room and doesn’t really sound like even you are totally sold on this concept. A pros and cons approach ends up feeling more informative than it is persuasive.
• Every good persuasive paper should acknowledge the opposition, but the trick is to demonstrate to the reader that your claim is still the best option. The above statement establish a firm but realistic stance.

Descriptive

Many writers are afraid of “giving it all away” in their introduction and thesis. After all, why would the reader keep going if they know what’s going to happen? Perhaps this is a result of watching too many M. Night Shyamalan movies. When it comes to academic writing, it’s important to lay it all out for your audience so they have clear expectations of what you’re going to cover in your essay.  This is not to say that you need to go in-depth with your intended points, but you do want to show your readers what your paper is about and why it’s important.

• While this thesis makes a strong assertion, can likely be proven through research, and has a strong focus, it’s unclear how reading can actually benefit students. Including a brief mention of the paper’s main points gives the reader a much better idea of what to expect and shows foresight and planning on the part of the writer.
• In this revised thesis we have the same core argument — reading is good for kids — with the addition of how it’s good for them. This gives the reader an idea of how you’re going to prove this argument and the general structure of the rest of the paper.

To determine whether your thesis statement is debatable, ask yourself: could someone disagree with this statement from a position other than “because I say so”? If not, then your thesis probably isn’t debatable.

• Although a reader could disagree with this statement from their own point of view, the argument wouldn’t get any further than “no they’re not… yes they are…”.
• Someone could look at the same set of evidence (the analysis of camera movements) and find a different cause or explanation.

Substantiated

For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. In some cases (such as a personal essay), you can rely on personal observations to support your claims, but for most research papers you’ll be consulting outside sources. In most academic fields, you should primarily rely on peer-reviewed sources.

• You may believe a claim like this strongly, but there’s no way to prove it within the logical context of a research paper.
• This claim can be substantiated by passages from the books.

A strong thesis statement needs to express one main idea. Even if there are several sub-points, the main idea should be singular and unified.

• This thesis takes us in two directions: an argument about MLM and pyramid schemes, and an argument about the potential benefits of MLM.
• This thesis connects both pieces into one main idea. The difference between MLM and pyramid schemes becomes a sub-point of the claim that many companies fail to see the potential benefits of MLM strategies.

A thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. Don’t make a potentially complex idea even more confusing by trying to cover too many topics. It can be easy to get off track in an effort to be as thorough as possible, and if your thesis is unfocused, the rest of your paper will be, too. Similarly, if your thesis is too broad, it’s going to be difficult to develop a solid argument throughout your essay.

• This thesis covers too much ground and leaves the reader with more questions than answers. What kind of animals? What constitutes “ethical”? According to whom? This statement is too unfocused to give the reader an idea of what the paper is actually about.
• This statement provides enough detail to make the terms and boundaries of the argument clear.

Pitfalls To Avoid with Thesis Statements

• Elements of a Thesis Statement, Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements. Authored by : Jennifer Lapum, Oona St-Amant, Michelle Hughes, Andy Tan, Arina Bogdan, Frances Dimaranan, Rachel Frantzke, and Nada Savicevic. Located at : https://pressbooks.library.ryerson.ca/scholarlywriting/chapter/elements-of-a-thesis-statement/ . Project : The Scholarship of Writing in Nursing Education: 1st Canadian Edition . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
• Thesis statements. Provided by : Lumen Learning. License : CC BY: Attribution

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4.1 – Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning objectives.

• Develop a strong, clear thesis statement with the proper elements.
• Revise your thesis statement.

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea—the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction . It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

Watch How to write an essay: Thesis statements on YouTube (5 mins)

Video Source: Bissett, A. (2018, March 30). How to write an essay: Thesis statements [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/TotaRoYh60Y

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities.

Specificity. A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision. A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is individuals without employment benefits, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that all employers should be obligated to provide certain benefits. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these required benefits, such as what types should be required.

Ability to be argued. A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated. For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness. A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence. In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe. These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Remember to make each statement specific, precise, demonstrable, forceful and confident.

• Texting while driving
• The legal drinking age in Canada
• Steroid use among professional athletes
• Free speech

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

• Specificity
• Ability to be argued
• Ability to be demonstrated
• Forcefulness
• Educating newcomers to Canada about historical Indigenous treaties is an important way to implement the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s Call to Action.
• Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
• J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across Canada are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

Weak thesis statement: The life of Sir John A. Macdonald was long and challenging.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Strong Thesis Statements

Match the terms following terms (a-f) to the correct phrase (1-6)..

• an ability to be demonstrated
• specificity
• forcefulness
• the ability to be argued
• Phrases like “I believe” or “I feel” actually weaken your argument. Instead, take a stance with            which encourages readers to support your position.
• Stating a fact is not enough. A thesis statement must have             .
• A strong thesis statement must have             , which means a general topic is narrowed down and made unambiguous.
• Your tone should have             which shows readers you are making an argument that could be opposed.
• Your argument must remained focused on the overall topic while making a specific point. This is known as            .
• Any claim that is made in your thesis must be able to be supported by reasons and examples. This is know as              .

Check your answers: [1]

Activity source: “Thesis statements” by Emily Cramer is licensed under CC BY .

Identifying Strong Thesis Statements

Read the following thesis statements and identify each as weak or strong..

• The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
• The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
• Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the 19th century.
• In this essay, I will give you a lot of reasons why marijuana should not be legalized in British Columbia.
• Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
• My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Check your answers: [2]

Activity Source: “ Self Practice Exercise 5.5 ” by Brenna Clarke Gray (H5P Adaptation) Writing for Success – 1st Canadian Edition by Tara Harkoff & [author removed], licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. / Interactive content extracted to plain text.

Writing at Work

Thesis statement revision.

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people , everything , society , or life , with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.

2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke . The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. (See Chapter 3 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” for more information on the 5WH questions.) By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis: Simcoe County school teachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis: Simcoe County School board cannot afford to pay its educators enough, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results?

4. Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis: Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

In the first section of Chapter 3 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” , you determined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then completed a freewriting exercise about an event you recently experienced and chose a general topic to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the 5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three methods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis statement.

Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statement. Identify any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statement to reflect the elements of a strong thesis statement. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, demonstrable, forceful, and confident.

Key Takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.
• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Attribution & References

Except where otherwise noted, this chapter is adapted from ” 9.1 Developing a strong, clear thesis statement ” In Writing for Success by University of Minnesota licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0 . / Adaptations include updates for student friendly language, attribution and topics, etc.

• b) confidence
• f) an ability to be argued
• d) specificity
• e) forcefulness
• c) precision
• a) an ability to be demonstrated

Communication Essentials for College Copyright © 2022 by Jen Booth, Emily Cramer & Amanda Quibell, Georgian College is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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A strong thesis statement is a critical element of almost any academic paper, summarizing what the paper is about, offering a clear point of view and providing evidence supporting your opinion. If your thesis isn't strong enough, however, the paper may be weak or confusing. Assessing the strength of your thesis involves understanding the qualities that can make a thesis weak, considering each word in your thesis statement and making sure you’ve included all necessary components.

Strong Thesis Statements

A strong thesis statement offers a clear, specific point of view. A strong thesis is also debatable, meaning a reader could oppose or dispute your position, and it offers some evidence to support your opinion. Together, these elements tell the reader exactly what your opinion is, why and what the reader can expect from the rest of the paper. An example of a strong thesis is: “School uniforms are beneficial for high school students because they create a sense of unity, may cut down on bullying, and are more affordable for parents.”

Weak Thesis Statements

A weak thesis statement is often too broad or ambiguous, making it difficult for the reader to understand your position. Weak thesis statements may also lack evidence. For example, “Technology is helpful” is a weak thesis because it’s not clear what kind of technology you’re referring to, who technology helps or why it’s beneficial. Attempting to argue more than one point of view also weakens a thesis. For example, “The border should be eliminated or expanded” is a weak thesis statement. Another red flag is if a reader can’t dispute your thesis because you’re presenting facts rather than a debatable opinion.

Test Each Word

One way to assess the strength or weakness of a thesis statement is to review every word in your thesis to determine whether it could be clearer or more specific. For example, the thesis “Border controls should be eliminated” could be clearer by stating the specific borders you’re writing about. Review the evidence you included in your thesis to make sure it addresses “how” or “why.” For example, if you wrote, “Border controls between the U.S. and Canada should be eliminated,” make sure you include support to answer the question of how or why those borders should be eliminated. If a reader can’t determine the “why” or “how,” your thesis may be weak.

Use a Checklist

A weak thesis statement is missing one or more of the requirements of a thesis statement. Use a checklist to make sure you cover all of the elements. Your thesis should be one or two sentences, debatable, specific, and include evidence to support your point of view. The simple act of checking off each requirement can help make sure your thesis is strong.

• The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill: Thesis Statements
• Purdue Online Writing Lab: Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements
• Odyssey: From Paragraph to Essay; William J. Kelly and Deborah L. Lawton.

Amy Mahoney has been a writer for more than 15 years. Her articles have appeared in newspapers and magazines including “The Boston Globe,” “Reader’s Digest” and the “Miami Herald.” She holds a Master of Fine Arts in fiction.

Rules for Thesis Statements

Teacher tips: how to write thesis statements for high school papers, how to write a good argumentative essay introduction, how to write a pros & cons essay, rhetorical essay format, what are the four tips for writing a good thesis statement for an expository essay, explaining what is meant by the statement "not all mixtures are solutions", important elements in writing argument essays, how to write an essay that stands out, most popular.

• 1 Rules for Thesis Statements
• 2 Teacher Tips: How to Write Thesis Statements for High School Papers
• 3 How to Write a Good Argumentative Essay Introduction
• 4 How to Write a Pros & Cons Essay

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5.1: Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

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Introduction

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea—the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful, and confident.

A thesis is typically one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities:

Specificity . A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health-care coverage.

Precision . A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Ability to be argued . A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated . For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness . A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence . In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe . These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Remember to make each statement specific, precise, demonstrable, forceful and confident.

• Texting while driving
• Gay marriage
• Immigration
• Social media
• Online courses
• High School

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

• Specificity
• Ability to be argued
• Ability to be demonstrated
• Forcefulness
• The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the challenge of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.
• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
• J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

• A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay. Weak thesis statement : My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.
• A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side. Weak thesis statement : Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.
• A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end. Weak thesis statement : Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.
• A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad. Weak thesis statement : The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Read the following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak or strong. List the reasons why. Then revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a strong thesis.

• The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
• The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
• Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
• In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
• Despite his promises during his campaign, President John F. Kennedy took few executive measures to support civil rights legislation.
• Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
• My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Writing at Work

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an e-mail. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-mail request. While your e-mail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Thesis Statement

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember that your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

• Pinpoint and replace all non-specific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness. Working thesis : Young people have to work hard to succeed in life. Revised thesis : Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents. The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard, the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.
• Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis. Working thesis : The welfare system is a joke. Revised thesis : The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets. A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke . The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.
• Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be, a verb that simply states that a situation exists. Working thesis : Kansas City schoolteachers are not paid enough. Revised thesis : The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers. The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:
• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results
• Omit any general claims that are hard to support. Working thesis : Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized. Revised thesis : Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior. It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:
• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

In the first section, you determined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then completed a freewriting exercise about an event you recently experienced and chose a general topic to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the 5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three methods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis statement.

Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statement. Identify any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statement to reflect the elements of a strong thesis statement. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, demonstrable, forceful, and confident.

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

key takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.
• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action

Strong Thesis Statement

Navigating the vast ocean of ideas, every writer seeks that anchor – a robust thesis statement. This statement not only provides direction to the essay but also gives it a foundation. It distills the essence of the argument into a concise format, guiding the reader and asserting the writer’s perspective. To craft a compelling thesis statement, one must grasp its intricacies and nuances. This guide illuminates the path to creating magnetic thesis statements , backed by compelling examples and actionable tips.

What is a Powerful Thesis Statement?

A powerful thesis statement is a concise, specific declaration that presents the main point or argument of a piece of writing. It acts as a roadmap for the reader, outlining the central theme and position the writer will adopt or argue for. A potent final thesis statement not only states a fact but also takes a stance, establishes a perspective, and gives a hint about the line of reasoning the essay will adopt.

What is an Example of a Strong Thesis Statement?

“While global climate change is influenced by natural phenomena, predominant evidence indicates that human activities, especially the emission of greenhouse gases, are the primary contributors to the accelerated rate of global warming experienced in the last century.”

This statement presents a clear position, is debatable (therefore, not a mere fact), and hints at the reasoning that will be laid out in the essay or paper.

100 Strong Thesis Statement Examples

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Crafting a robust thesis statement is pivotal for any successful essay or research paper. This statement should encapsulate your main argument, presenting readers with a clear insight into your stance and the direction of your work.   you may also be interested to browse through our other thesis statement for research paper . Below are some strong thesis statement examples that provide a firm foundation for compelling arguments:

• “The rise of electronic communications in the modern era has diminished the significance of face-to-face interaction.” This highlights the impact of technology on human relationships.
• “Despite its perceived threats, artificial intelligence can be a beneficial tool when used ethically and can revolutionize sectors such as healthcare, finance, and education.” Here, AI’s advantages are emphasized despite potential pitfalls.
• “Mandatory voting laws can potentially undermine democratic processes by forcing uninformed voters to make decisions.” This statement questions the efficiency of compulsory voting.
• “Organic foods aren’t necessarily healthier than non-organic ones, but their production is more environmentally friendly and ethical.” A take on the broader implications of organic farming.
• “The portrayal of women in media has evolved over the decades, yet it still adheres to aged stereotypes.” A comment on gender representation in media.
• “Modern education must evolve with technological advancements, integrating digital literacy as a core component.” This underscores the importance of technology in today’s education.
• “While many argue the death penalty serves as a deterrent to crime, studies have shown that states without it have lower murder rates.” A statement countering a popular belief.
• “The cultural shift towards plant-based diets can lead to positive health outcomes and combat climate change.” This advocates for dietary change for health and environmental reasons.
• “Remote working, although beneficial for work-life balance, can hinder team cohesion and organizational culture.” A nuanced view on the rise of remote work.
• “Childhood vaccinations should be mandatory because they prevent outbreaks of contagious diseases, supporting herd immunity.” A statement emphasizing public health.
• “Banning single-use plastics can drastically reduce ocean pollution and promote sustainable consumer behaviors.” An environmental call to action.
• “Financial literacy education should be integrated into high school curricula to prepare students for real-world challenges.” Advocating for essential life skills in education.
• “Despite its historical significance, Christopher Columbus’ celebration ignores the negative impact of his expeditions on indigenous populations.” A call for a more nuanced historical perspective.
• “Excessive screen time can lead to a myriad of health issues in children, including impaired sleep and developmental issues.” A health-focused stance on technology.
• “Urban green spaces not only enhance city aesthetics but also promote mental well-being and biodiversity.” Emphasizing the multifaceted benefits of urban greenery.
• “A four-day workweek can boost productivity, improve mental health, and promote a better work-life balance.” A modern perspective on work culture.
• “The gender pay gap persists not solely due to discrimination but also societal norms and occupational segregation.” A multifaceted look at wage disparities.
• “Animal testing, while controversial, has led to numerous medical breakthroughs, but alternative methods should be explored more rigorously.” Balancing the pros and cons of a debated practice.
• “The digital age’s advent, while promoting connectivity, has also escalated mental health issues due to increased isolation.” A dual-sided view of technology’s impact.
• “Affirmative action, although divisive, is essential for redressing historical racial and ethnic injustices in higher education.” Advocating for a policy with historical context.
• “Corporate social responsibility initiatives benefit not only the community but also companies themselves by improving their public image.” An insight into business ethics.
• “E-sports should be recognized at the Olympic level, given their global popularity and demand for strategic mental agility.” Advocating for the evolving nature of sports.
• “Experiencing art through virtual reality can democratize access but may diminish the genuine essence of artworks.” Balancing tech advancement with traditional experiences.
• “The educational system should prioritize teaching emotional intelligence to foster healthier interpersonal relationships and decision-making.” Emphasizing holistic education.
• “Although nuclear energy presents potential dangers, its efficiency and low carbon footprint make it essential for a sustainable future.” A balanced view on energy resources.
• “Language learning should be compulsory in schools, fostering global understanding and cognitive development.” Advocating for a global perspective in education.
• “The gig economy, despite offering flexibility, can undermine workers’ rights and financial security.” A take on modern employment trends.
• “Fast fashion’s allure, from its affordability to trendiness, masks its detrimental environmental impact and exploitative production methods.” A statement on sustainable consumerism.
• “Universal basic income can be a solution to growing automation, ensuring financial stability in the evolving job landscape.” A futuristic economic perspective.
• “While social media platforms foster global connectivity, they can also perpetuate echo chambers and spread misinformation.” Highlighting the double-edged sword of technology.
• “Mindfulness practices in the workplace can enhance productivity, mental well-being, and job satisfaction.” Advocating for holistic approaches to work.
• “A holistic approach to criminal justice, focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment, can lead to reduced recidivism rates.” A call for reform.
• “Solar and wind energy, given their sustainability and decreasing costs, should be central in future energy policies.” A sustainable view on future energy.
• “Despite its challenges, homeschooling offers personalized education, fostering in-depth knowledge and independence.” A take on alternative education methods.
• “Space exploration, beyond its scientific merits, can unite humanity under a shared goal and perspective.” A broader perspective on space endeavors.
• “Cultural appropriation, when done disrespectfully, not only offends but can erase the significance of traditional practices.” A statement on cultural sensitivity.
• “Declining bee populations, if unchecked, threaten global food systems and biodiversity.” Emphasizing an often-overlooked environmental issue.
• “Biographies, while insightful, can sometimes unintentionally perpetuate biases and inaccuracies of their subjects.” A take on the nature of historical recounting.
• “The rise of autonomous vehicles can revolutionize urban infrastructure and sustainability but introduces new ethical dilemmas.” Balancing innovation with ethics.
• “While international tourism boosts economies, it’s essential to balance it with local culture and environment preservation.” A sustainable view on tourism.
• “Introducing coding and digital literacy from primary education prepares students for the modern workforce and fosters logical thinking.” Advocating for a tech-savvy curriculum.
• “Consumerism during holidays, while boosting the economy, detracts from genuine cultural and familial significance.” A reflection on modern-day celebrations.
• “Genetically modified organisms (GMOs), when regulated, can address food insecurity without compromising ecological balance.” A stance on biotechnology.
• “Telemedicine, propelled by the pandemic, can revolutionize healthcare accessibility but also poses challenges in personal rapport and diagnosis accuracy.” A modern medical perspective.
• “Biodiversity’s decline, more than just species loss, compromises ecosystem services and resilience.” Highlighting the broad implications of species conservation.
• “3D printing in medicine holds the potential to revolutionize transplants and prosthetics but raises ethical concerns.” On the frontier of medical technology.
• “Sports not only foster physical health but also cultivate teamwork, discipline, and resilience.” A multifaceted view of sports’ significance.
• “Blockchain, beyond cryptocurrency, can enhance transparency and efficiency in sectors like supply chain and public records.” Broadening the scope of a tech trend.
• “While antibiotics revolutionized medicine, their overuse threatens a rise in resistant superbugs, necessitating judicious use.” A cautionary medical perspective.
• “Hydroponic and vertical farming, leveraging urban spaces, can meet food demands sustainably.” Innovations in agriculture
• “Digital detox, in an era of constant connectivity, can rejuvenate mental well-being and restore personal relationships.” Emphasizing the need for tech boundaries.
• “Mandatory voting laws, though seemingly undemocratic, can foster a more engaged and informed citizenry.” A new perspective on electoral participation.
• “Plant-based diets, beyond personal health benefits, play a pivotal role in addressing climate change and resource conservation.” Food’s role in sustainability.
• “Augmented reality (AR) in education can make learning immersive but requires careful integration to not overshadow foundational skills.” Balancing tech with foundational learning.
• “Remote work, while offering flexibility, requires robust digital infrastructure and new strategies to maintain team cohesion.” Navigating the new work paradigm.
• “Music therapy has proven benefits in cognitive rehabilitation, emotional well-being, and even physical recovery.” The therapeutic powers of melodies.
• “Zero-waste lifestyles, more than a trend, embody a critical approach to sustainable consumption and waste management.” Advocating for conscious living.
• “Classical literature, despite being rooted in bygone eras, offers timeless insights into human nature and society.” The enduring power of classics.
• “Urban green spaces, beyond recreational benefits, enhance air quality, biodiversity, and even property values.” A case for urban planning with nature.
• “Affordable housing initiatives, while challenging to implement, can revolutionize urban landscapes and socioeconomic equity.” Addressing urbanization challenges.
• “Virtual reality (VR) in therapy holds potential for exposure treatment, phobia management, and even PTSD rehabilitation.” A dive into therapeutic tech innovations.
• “Fair trade practices not only ensure equitable pay but also promote sustainable farming and community development.” Making a case for conscious consumerism.
• “Pet therapy has demonstrated efficacy in reducing stress, anxiety, and even improving cardiovascular health.” Pets’ unrecognized therapeutic roles.
• “Desalination, despite high costs, is a promising solution to freshwater scarcity in coastal regions.” Addressing global water challenges.
• “Blended learning models, combining traditional and online methods, cater to diverse learning styles and enhance engagement.” Reinventing modern education.
• “Incorporating mindfulness practices in schools can significantly reduce stress, increase focus, and foster emotional intelligence among students.” For holistic education.
• “Agroforestry, blending agriculture with forestry, offers a sustainable approach to land use, ensuring productivity and biodiversity.” A green thumb approach to farming.
• “While cryptocurrency promises decentralization and financial inclusivity, it also poses significant volatility and regulatory challenges.” A balanced financial perspective.
• “Emphasizing soft skills in education, from empathy to problem-solving, prepares students for modern collaborative workspaces.” Beyond the traditional curriculum.
• “Local farmers’ markets, more than just community hubs, support sustainable agriculture and strengthen local economies.” A fresh take on shopping sustainably
• “Community gardens not only provide fresh produce but also foster neighborhood ties and promote sustainable practices.” Cultivating more than just vegetables.
• “Artificial intelligence in healthcare can streamline diagnosis and treatment but raises ethical concerns about data privacy and decision-making autonomy.” The double-edged sword of AI.
• “Multilingual education not only promotes linguistic skills but also enhances cognitive flexibility and cultural understanding.” Celebrating linguistic diversity.
• “Adopting renewable energy sources isn’t just environmentally prudent; it can drive job creation and reduce dependency on fossil fuels.” A brighter, greener future.
• “While e-commerce offers convenience, supporting local businesses is crucial for community sustainability and personalized shopping experiences.” Balancing online with local.
• “Stem cell research, despite controversy, has the potential to revolutionize medicine, offering treatments for previously incurable conditions.” Pushing medical boundaries.
• “Intergenerational programs, bringing together the young and old, can bridge cultural gaps and combat age-related stereotypes.” Mending age-old divides.
• “Public transportation infrastructure investments not only ease urban congestion but also reduce carbon emissions and foster social equity.” A move towards sustainable mobility.
• “Incorporating financial literacy programs in school curricula prepares students for real-world challenges and fosters responsible money management.” The value of early financial education.
• “Biophilic design in urban planning, integrating nature with architecture, can enhance residents’ well-being and reduce urban heat islands.” Designing with nature in mind.
• “The circular economy model, emphasizing recycling and reuse, is not just eco-friendly but also a sustainable business strategy.” Rethinking consumption patterns.
• “Investing in mental health services in workplaces can increase productivity, reduce absenteeism, and foster overall well-being among employees.” Prioritizing mental well-being at work.
• “Personalized learning, tailoring education to individual needs, can cater to diverse learners and elevate overall educational outcomes.” A customized approach to education.
• “Restorative justice practices, focusing on reconciliation, can transform traditional punitive systems, fostering community healing and offender rehabilitation.” Rethinking justice.
• “Microfinance initiatives not only provide capital to the underserved but also empower communities, especially women, towards financial independence.” Small loans, significant impacts.
• “Nature-based tourism, if managed responsibly, can boost local economies while promoting environmental conservation.” Travelling with purpose.
• “Public libraries, beyond being knowledge repositories, act as community hubs, fostering inclusivity, and lifelong learning.” The unsung heroes of communities.
• “Co-working spaces, beyond their modern appeal, facilitate networking, foster collaboration, and can even promote work-life balance.” Redefining the modern workspace.
• “Inclusion of arts in education can stimulate creativity, enhance critical thinking, and foster holistic intellectual development.” Championing the arts.
• “Edible landscaping, integrating food crops with ornamental plants, can transform urban spaces into productive, sustainable ecosystems.” Gardens that feed communities
• “Cultural exchange programs at the student level can promote global understanding, fostering peace and cooperation for future generations.” Bridging global divides early on.
• “Telehealth, although born out of necessity in many cases, has the potential to revolutionize healthcare accessibility, especially in remote areas.” Healthcare at your fingertips.
• “Urban farming initiatives not only provide local produce but also combat the urban heat island effect and promote biodiversity.” Cityscapes turned green.
• “Ethical consumerism isn’t just a trend; it can drive businesses to adopt sustainable and socially responsible practices.” Voting with your wallet.
• “The integration of mindfulness practices in schools can enhance student focus, reduce stress, and promote emotional intelligence.” Breathing life into education.
• “Pet therapy, beyond the evident joys, can significantly aid in emotional healing, reducing anxiety and depression.” Healing with a paw or a purr.
• “Preserving indigenous languages is essential, not only for cultural heritage but also for the unique worldviews they offer.” Linguistic treasures of humanity.
• “Supporting women in STEM fields is not just about gender equality; it enriches research and drives innovation through diverse perspectives.” Science, enhanced by diversity.
• “Green rooftops, apart from being aesthetically pleasing, can significantly reduce energy consumption and support urban wildlife habitats.” Elevating green solutions.
• “Incorporating urban greenways promotes physical health, fosters community interactions, and enhances the overall livability of cities.” Paths to a healthier urban future.

A strong thesis statement paves the way for well-researched and impactful discussions, guiding readers through the intended narrative of the work.

Strong vs Weak Thesis Statement Examples

An impactful thesis statement captures the essence of an argument concisely, presenting a clear stance on an issue. On the other hand, a weak thesis might be vague, lacking a definitive point of view. Comparing strong vs. weak thesis statements helps in understanding the difference in depth, clarity, and precision. Below is a table illustrating this contrast:

Strong Thesis Statement Examples for Argumentative Essay

A potent argumentative essay thesis statement explicitly presents an argument, setting the foundation for persuasion. Here are ten examples:

• The death penalty is an outdated form of punishment and should be abolished due to its potential for irreversible mistakes.
• Animal testing is not only cruel but also ineffective and should be replaced by alternative research methods.
• GMOs, when regulated and appropriately used, can help combat world hunger and reduce pesticide usage.
• The gender wage gap is not only a matter of equality but also an economic imperative for a progressive society.
• Censoring media under the guise of national security restricts freedom of expression and curtails democratic discourse.
• The normalization of gig economy jeopardizes worker rights, leading to exploitation.
• The Second Amendment shouldn’t be an excuse against common-sense gun regulations.
• The electoral college system is archaic and does not truly represent the democratic wishes of the modern American populace.
• Legalizing marijuana can aid in reducing the burden on the legal system and provide medicinal and economic benefits.
• Privatization of essential services like water and electricity often leads to monopolies that neglect public welfare.

Strong Thesis Statement Examples for High School

Crafting a compelling thesis statement in high school lays the groundwork for effective argumentation and critical thinking. Here are ten examples:

• The influence of social media on teenagers’ self-esteem has more negative implications than positive ones.
• The “Great Gatsby” is not just a tragic love story but a portrayal of the decay of the American Dream.
• Extracurricular activities in high school are essential for holistic development and should be equally emphasized as academics.
• The portrayal of women in classic literature often reflects societal biases, as evident in Austen’s novels.
• Adolescents should have a say in their educational curriculum to foster engagement and passion.
• Cyberbullying in high schools is a by-product of technology misuse and requires stringent school policies for prevention.
• Early school start times adversely affect student health and academic performance.
• Parental involvement, while beneficial, can become counterproductive if excessively intrusive in high school education.
• Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” exemplifies the dangers of impulsive decisions in youth.
• Implementing financial literacy courses in high school is crucial for preparing students for adulthood.

Strong Thesis Statement Examples for Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is a contemporary issue with profound effects. A strong thesis on this topic should address the nuances of digital harassment:

• The rise of social media platforms has inadvertently created an arena for cyberbullying, impacting mental health.
• Anonymity on the internet emboldens bullies, making it essential to have stricter online identity verifications.
• Cyberbullying can lead to long-term psychological trauma, highlighting the need for robust support systems.
• Schools need to adapt and incorporate cyberbullying awareness in their curriculum, preparing students for digital citizenship.
• Legislation against cyberbullying is not just a necessity but a testament to recognizing online spaces as extensions of our society.
• Online platforms should bear a shared responsibility in combating cyberbullying through better content monitoring.
• The normalization of trolling culture on the internet is a gateway to more severe forms of cyberbullying.
• The psychological impacts of cyberbullying are intensified due to the permanence and ubiquity of digital content.
• Parents and guardians should be educated about the signs of cyberbullying to protect and support their children effectively.
• Digital literacy programs should incorporate cyberbullying prevention as a foundational element to foster respectful online interactions.

How to Start a Strong Thesis Statement?

Understanding the Essence: Before you even begin, understand that a thesis statement encapsulates the main point of your paper in a concise manner. It’s not just a simple statement; it needs to be arguable and definitive.

1. Choose a Clear Topic: To craft a potent thesis statement, you first need a clear and specific topic. This could be anything from the subject of your research to the argument you wish to defend or refute.

2. Take a Stand: Your thesis statement shouldn’t merely state a fact. Instead, it should take a position or make an assertion.

3. Be Precise: Narrow down your statement to be as specific as possible. Avoid vague words and ensure your statement clearly expresses what you intend to discuss.

Good vs. Strong Thesis Statement

A good thesis statement might be clear and take a position, but a strong thesis statement goes further. It’s:

• Debatable: There should be a genuine controversy surrounding your statement, not something universally agreed upon.
• Specific: It uses concrete facts, figures, or points and doesn’t rely on generalities.
• Concise: It gets to the point quickly, avoiding unnecessary words.
• Informed: It shows a deep understanding of the topic.

For instance, a good statement might be: “Reading helps brain development in children.” A strong version would be: “Regular reading of literature from diverse genres between the ages 5 to 10 significantly boosts neural connectivity and cognitive flexibility in children.”

How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement?

1. Ask Questions: Start by posing questions about your topic. Your answers might form a preliminary version of your thesis statement.

2. Avoid the Obvious: Don’t just state a fact. Push yourself to think critically about the subject.

3. Use Strong Language: Avoid wishy-washy language. Use definitive language that shows you are making an assertion.

4. Test it Out: Before finalizing, test your thesis. Can you argue against it? If not, it might not be strong enough.

5. Revise as Necessary: Your first draft of a thesis statement won’t always be the best one. As your paper evolves, ensure that your thesis evolves with it.

Tips for Writing a Strong Thesis Statement

• Stay Focused: Your thesis should be specific enough to stay within the boundaries of your paper.
• Position it Right: Typically, your thesis statement should be the last one or two sentences in your introductory paragraph.
• Stay Objective: A thesis statement shouldn’t be a subjective judgment. Instead, it should be based on evidence.
• Seek Feedback: Before finalizing, get opinions from peers or mentors. Fresh eyes might catch ambiguities or areas of improvement.
• Avoid Clichés: Make your statement original, even if the topic is common. Avoid predictable thoughts and challenge existing viewpoints if possible.

Remember, your thesis statement is the backbone of your paper. Invest time in crafting a strong one, and your paper will stand tall and clear.

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Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning objectives.

• Understand the elements of a strong, clear thesis statement
• Revise a thesis statement to make it clearer

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea—the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities.

Specificity . A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision . A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Ability to be argued . A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated . For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness . A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence . In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe. These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

• Specificity
• Ability to be argued
• Ability to be demonstrated
• Forcefulness

Ex: The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the challenge of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.

Ex: Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.

Ex: Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.

Ex: J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.

Ex: Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.

Ex: Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.

Ex: In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Ex: Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Ex: Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Ex: Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

Ex: Weak thesis statement: The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

WRITING AT WORK

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an e-mail. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-mail request. While your e-mail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Thesis Statement Revision

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember that your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard, the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.

2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke. The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. (Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How? are the 5WH questions). By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be, a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis : Kansas City schoolteachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis : The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are. Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results

4. Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis : Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis : Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

Key Takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.

• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.

• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.

• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.

• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.

• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.

• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement Copyright © 2016 by Jennifer Kepka is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Weak Thesis Statement

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

• A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak thesis statement:  My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

• A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Weak thesis statement:  Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

• A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Weak thesis statement:  Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

• A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

Weak thesis statement:  The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Read the following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a strong thesis.

• The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
• The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
• Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
• In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
• Despite his promises during his campaign, President Kennedy took few executive measures to support civil rights legislation.
• Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
• My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Writing for College Introduction to College Writing with Grammar Skills Review by Cheryl McCormick; Sue Hank; and Ninna Roth is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Strong and Weak

Strong and Weak Thesis Statements

Let us examine some strong and weak thesis statement examples provided by universities to grasp a better perspective on thesis statement writing.

1. Texas A&M University at Qatar, The Oasis, Office of Academic Supplemental Instruction Services. 1

Weak a) Going to school is important.

b) Traveling around the world is exciting.

Strong a) Researching and visiting universities before making a final decision is very beneficial because you will be able to experience the campus, meet the professors, and truly understand the traditions of the university.

b) Because the internet is filled with many advertising and marketing opportunities, people should utilize it to expand their home based businesses and build their customer base.

2. Idaho State University (ISU) Writing Center. 2

Weak College students shouldn’t have to take a required core curriculum, and many core courses are graded too stiffly. (These are two different issues, so the writer has to choose one.)

Strong College students shouldn’t have to take a required core curriculum.

Weak The technological changes of the last hundred years have been amazing. (This is a huge topic, covering everything from genetically modified foods in India to the Ipod. Choose one kind of technology or one perspective.)

Strong Over the last 20 years, changes in technology have made a profound difference in the way American college students communicate.

Weak Drunk driving is a serious problem with long-lasting consequences. (Does anyone not believe that drunk driving is serious? Since all that’s really argued about is how to stop it, that’s what a paper on the topic should focus on.)

Strong An offender’s driver’s license should be automatically suspended after a drunk driving conviction.

3. Introduction to Research – A Step by Step Guide, Shannon Nelson Betts, MSL, MAT, Reference Librarian, Post University, Waterbury, CT. 3

Weak The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of which were the same and some different. (Vague, reads like a restatement of a writing prompt with no critical thinking in evidence – leads reader to wonder, “What were the reasons?”)

Strong While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own right to self-government. (Proposes specific reasons for which the North and South fought the war – sets the stage for a compare/contrast essay)

Weak Many people in the world are victims of stereotyping. (Vague, no controversy or tension)

Strong Prejudgments are harmful because they limit the lives of the stereotyped individual and the person doing the stereotyping. (Is now more specific, can be argued with evidence showing the effects of stereotyping).

Weak This paper will first suggest qualities essential to a good corporate manager and then discuss how those qualities contribute to overall management style. (Merely provides a “roadmap” but no controversy or tension).

Strong Character qualities that make corporate managers successful often make their management styles ineffective. (Provides both a “roadmap” to the author’s paper and a controversial argument.)

1. http://oasis.qatar.tamu.edu/assets/PDFs/Thesis_Statement_Handout.pdf 2. http://www.isu.edu/success/writing/handouts/thesis.pdf 3. http://www.post.edu/maincampus/library/Introduction%20to%20%20Research.pdf

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