spending time alone essay

Essay About Being Alone: 5 Examples and 8 Prompts

To explore your understanding of this subject, read the following examples of an essay about being alone and prompts to use in your next essay.

Being alone and lonely are often used interchangeably, but they don’t have the same meaning.

Everyone has a different notion of what being alone means. Some think it’s physically secluding yourself from people, while others regard it as the feeling of serenity or hopelessness even in the middle of a crowd.

Being alone offers various benefits, such as finding peace and solitude to reflect and be creative. However, too much isolation can negatively impact physical and mental health .

By understanding the contrast between the meaning of being alone and being lonely, you’ll be able to express your thoughts clearly and deliver a great essay.

1. Why I Love Being Alone by Role Reboot and Chanel Dubofsky

2. why do i like being alone so much [19 possible reasons] by sarah kristenson, 3. things to do by yourself by kendra cherry, 4. the art of being alone, but not lonely by kei hysi, 5. my biggest fear was being alone by jennifer twardowski, 8 writing prompts on essay about being alone, 1. why you prefer to be alone, 2. things learned from being alone, 3. pros and cons of being alone, 4. being alone vs. being lonely, 5. the difference between being alone vs. being with someone else, 6. the fear of being alone, 7. how to enjoy your own company without being lonely.

“For me, being alone is something I choose, loneliness is the result of being alone, or feeling alone when I haven’t chosen it, but they aren’t the same, and they don’t necessarily lead to one another.”

In this essay, the authors make it clear that being alone is not the same as being lonely. They also mention that it’s a choice to be alone or be lonely with someone. Being alone is something that the authors are comfortable with and crave to find peace and clarity in their minds. For more, see these articles about being lonely .

“It’s important to know why you want to be alone. It can help you make the best of that time and appreciate this self-quality. Or, if you’re alone for negative reasons, it can help you address things in your life that may need to be changed.”

Kristenson’s essay probes the positive and negative reasons a person likes being alone. Positive reasons include creativity, decisiveness, and contentment as they remove themselves from drama.

The negative reasons for being alone are also critical to identify because they lead to unhealthy choices and results such as depression. The negative reasons listed are not being able to separate your emotions from others, thinking the people around you dislike you and being unable to show your authentic self to others because you’re afraid people might not like you.

“Whether you are an introvert who thrives on solitude or a gregarious extrovert who loves socializing, a little high-quality time to yourself can be good for your overall well-being.”

In this essay, Cherry points out the importance of being alone, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. She also mentions the benefits of allocating time for yourself and advises on how to enjoy your own company. Letting yourself be alone for a while will help you improve your memory, creativity, and attention to detail, making them more productive.

“You learn to love yourself first. You need to explore life, explore yourselves, grow through challenges, learn from mistakes, get out of your comfort zone, know your true potential, and feel comfortable in your own skin. The moment you love yourself, you become immune to loneliness.”

Hysi explores being alone without feeling lonely. He argues that people must learn to love and put themselves first to stop feeling lonely. This can be challenging, especially for those who put themselves last to serve others. He concludes that loving ourselves leads to a better life.

“We have to be comfortable in our own skin and be willing to be who we truly are, unapologetically. We have to love ourselves unconditionally and, through that love, be willing to seek out what our hearts truly desire — both in our relationships and in our life choices.”

The author discusses why she’s afraid of being alone and how she overcame it. Because she was scared of getting left alone, she always did things to please anyone, even if she wasn’t happy about it. What was important to her then was that she was not alone. But she realized she would still feel lonely even if she wasn’t alone.

Learning to be true to herself helped her overcome what she was afraid of. One key to happiness and fulfillment is loving yourself and always being genuine.

Did you finally have ideas about how to convey your thoughts about being alone after reading the samples above? If you’re now looking for ideas on what to talk about in your essay, here are 8 prompts to consider.

Read the best essay writing tips to incorporate them into your writing.

Today, many people assume that individuals who want to be alone are lonely. However, this is not the case for everyone.

You can talk about a universal situation or feeling your readers will easily understand. Such as wanting to be alone when you’re mad or when you’re burnout from school or work. You can also talk about why you want to be alone after acing a test or graduating – to cherish the moment.

People tend to overthink when they are alone. In this essay, discuss what you learned from spending time alone. Perhaps you have discovered something about yourself, found a new hobby, or connected with your emotions.

Your essay can be an eye-opener for individuals contemplating if they want to take some time off to be alone. Explain how you felt when alone and if there were any benefits from spending this time by yourself.

While being alone has several benefits, such as personal exploration or reflection, time to reboot, etc., too much isolation can also have disadvantages. Conduct research into the pros and cons of alone time, and pick a side to create a compelling argumentative essay . Then, write these in your essay. Knowing the pros and cons of being alone will let others know when being alone is no longer beneficial and they’ll need someone to talk to.

We all have different views and thoughts about being alone and lonely. Write your notion and beliefs about them. You can also give examples using your real-life experiences. Reading different opinions and ideas about the same things broadens your and your readers’ perspectives.

Some people like being with their loved ones or friends rather than spending time alone. In this prompt, you will share what you felt or experienced when you were alone compared to when you were with someone else. For you, what do you prefer more? You can inform your readers about your choice and why you like it over the other.

While being alone can be beneficial and something some people crave, being alone for a long time can be scary for others. Write about the things you are most afraid of, such as, “What if I die alone, would there be people who will mourn for me?” This will create an emotive and engaging essay for your next writing project.

Essay About Being Alone: How to enjoy your own company without being lonely?

Learning to be alone and genuinely enjoying it contributes to personal growth. However, being comfortable in your skin can still be challenging. This essay offers the reader tips to help others get started in finding happiness and tranquillity in their own company. Discuss activities that you can do while being alone. Perhaps create a list of hobbies and interests you can enjoy while being alone.

Interested in learning more? Read our guide on descriptive essay s for more inspiration!

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Being Alone: The Pros and Cons of Time Alone

Let’s explore the pros and cons of being alone.

Pros of Being Alone

Being alone allows our brains to recharge.

Our brains need balance. While social interactions are crucial to certain areas of brain activity, time alone is necessary for our brains to unwind and recharge. Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter explains, “Constantly being ‘on’ doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It’s an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.”

Being Alone Increases Productivity

Let’s face it, people can be pretty distracting. “When you remove as many distractions and interruptions as you can from your day,” says Dr. Carter, “You are better able to concentrate, which will help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time.” Small interruptions from coworkers or family members can disrupt our trains of thought and make it difficult to get back into a project. Even the ping of a text message or an email notification can throw off our concentration and reduce productivity.

Being Alone Boosts Creativity

Creativity tends to flourish in solitude. Studies are now showing that people are actually more likely to come up with their best ideas on their own, rather than during group brainstorming sessions. Human beings in general, and creativity in particular, are sensitive to criticism from others, which is one reason why so many of us are able to think more freely and express ourselves more clearly when we are alone. Additionally, the lack of interruption from others allows us to reflect and think differently, leading to more creative “meta-cognitions.”

Being Alone Can Actually Strengthen Relationships with Others

There are several reasons why spending some time alone can actually improve our relationships. For starters, differentiation (being a separate, autonomous individual) and linkage (being emotionally and physically close) are essential ingredients for a healthy relationship. Maintaining a certain level of independence helps keep the spark alive in a relationship. Furthermore, time alone allows us to appreciate our time with others more, rather than taking it for granted or feeling overwhelmed by it. Alone time can also help us understand others better. Introverts tend to have high levels of both empathy and self-awareness, two qualities that contribute to healthy relationships with others. Lastly, according to Dr. Carter, “By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you’re more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around.”

Cons of Being Alone

Being alone makes us vulnerable to our inner critics.

Being alone with our thoughts isn’t always a good thing. Isolation can be the perfect breeding ground for negative, self-critical thoughts. We all have an inner critic, a nasty coach that lives inside our heads and seeks any opportunity to criticize us. These “critical inner voices” tend to multiply when we are left alone with our thoughts. The “critical inner voices” tend to be at their worst when we are not only alone, but are also feeling lonely . At these times, the inner critic tells us that something is wrong with us and we don’t belong around other people. In this sense, we are our own worst enemy.

Being Alone Can Lead to Painful Loneliness

It is important to distinguish between time spent happily alone and time spent feeling lonely. Neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who has made a career out of studying loneliness, defines loneliness as “perceived social isolation, or the discrepancy between what you want from your social relationships and your perception of those relationships.” In this sense, loneliness is not defined by the amount of time we spend alone, but rather by how we feel about the time we spend alone. Feeling lonely can trigger feelings of being unloved or unlikeable, which can lead us to turn on ourselves. Feeling lonely is actually painful on a physical level, as well as emotional level. Cacioppo explains, “The absence of social connection triggers the same, primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst and physical pain.”

Being Alone/Lonely Can Lead to Depression

Time spent alone and feeling lonely can lead to depression . In fact, studies now show that a lonely brain is structurally and biochemically different. When someone is lonely, their neural responses to positive images and events get suppressed, so the world is perceived through a negative filter. We are more likely to believe that things are hopeless when we are lonely. This makes it more difficult to summon up the energy and bravery to find happiness and change.

Being Alone Can Be Bad for Our Health

Too much time alone is bad for our physical health. Studies have found that social isolation and loneliness can increase the likelihood of mortality by up to 30%. Researchers claim, “Being socially connected is not only influential for psychological and emotional well-being but it also has a significant and positive influence on physical well-being and overall longevity.” It is important to maintain strong social connections, even if you prefer to spend a majority of your time alone.

So What’s the Verdict?

While human beings need time alone to allow their brains to rest and rejuvenate, too much time alone or a lack of social connections can be harmful to our mental and physical health. It is important to distinguish between healthy time alone, where we are being productive, creative and introspective, versus negative time alone, where we are being self-critical or feeling lonely.

If you find yourself constantly around others and feeling depleted, make sure to schedule some healthy alone time. If you find yourself predominantly alone or are feeling lonely, make sure to invest more time seeking meaningful social connections. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, it is important to find the right balance for you.

If you are having a hard time combating feelings of loneliness, please read this post on What to Do When You’re Feeling Alone .

To learn more about where loneliness comes from and how you can combat it, watch our Webinar on A Way Out of Loneliness

If you are feeling isolated and may be experiencing symptoms of depression, here are some helpful resources :

National Institute of Mental Health – Depression Depression.com WebMD – Depression Helpguide.org – Depression Depression-Screening.org

GET HELP: IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN CRISIS OR IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE HELP, CALL 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.

International readers can click here for a list of helplines and crisis centers around the world .

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44 Comments

Most of the times I feel as though human beings are such a strain towards my energy, I don’t like being judged about anything, I don’t like being made a fool, I don’t like pretence and I certainly don’t feel well or comfortable with people who think they better than others.

So staying alone helps me avoid all this but in the interim I’ve lost connection with my family and friends. No connection with my mother my sister’s coz I just can’t stand speaking to them at times..I feel at peace alone but I think all Negetives. I think it’s better if I can move away maybe if I can miss them I will be fine coz now all I want is being alone and it affects me a lot more.

I agree with you mostly. I don’t agree with your assessment that your reason for wanting to be alone is to avoid judgment ect. From my person perspective, I could care less about being judged. But aside from that I agree with you. People are energy drainers. But they are also energy providers. It all depends on who your interacting with. Family tend to be energy depleters. I need my alone time every day. Most of my life is alone. I’m alone at home, with a dog. I am alone at work from job site to job site. I get enough human interaction every day. What I don’t get enough of is emotional human interaction. But, I still prefer to be alone than to force or artificially create a emotional connection or attachment. I want a wife very very very badly. But I also do not want a person to come into my life unless they really fit how my life works. Humans can be horrible additions to other humans lives. So, we much choose carefully. And only let those people who fit into our lives in. Making room for a person is a sure sign of failure.

Sometimes we resort to solitude as a result of being heavily drained by an numerous past relationships. This again makes us eventually view people as all the same. We then isolate ourselves in fear of being broken from time to time. I personally, took a decision to be ever-isolated. I am used to it, and I’ll be honest, it does hurt me sometimes. What I’ve learnt is that people change , only God stays the same. This implies that it’s better to resort to solitude then to be involved in connectedness that will vanish soon and leave you wounded again. What I now prefer is to just help others, show compassion to them, and love them but also ensure that I don’t add them to my life. It ought to be clear that at times we choose solitude under the motive of securing our hearts. We are born lonely, we die alone, thus it’s has to be easy and enjoyable to live alone.

I love being alone all the time. I know I suppose to be a 24 hours and 365 days. I get been lonely where i sign up. Social is bad for me. They don’t want me around. So I stop trying when was six to have social. I don’t need social. Anti social will help me. Y’all will see the only one I need is me.

Being alone is requisite for realization that Existence cannot be conceptualized.

“Examples show that authentic relationships require awareness of existential isolation.” Yalom 1980

Don; your “Being alone is requisite for realization that Existence cannot be conceptualized.” stirred up the will to search for authenticity of the powerful sentence and landed me in all types of green pastures. Thank you!

After my aunt passed away, my cousin has been willing to move out alone. I understand that being alone helps to balance your brain, just like you mentioned it. He sure has a reason, so to show him my support, I will help him find a moving company to get things started. http://www.deans-towing.com/home/

Thank you mam for providing such a nice piece of information regarding solitude it helped me a lot ,and the scientific reasons explained for each point is really great.Your work is leading this world to a better place to live in.

Thank you so much mam

i fid solitude very comforting,people are too muc i cant talk to them.

When seeing that it’s been scientifically proven that loneliness leads to health issues, are they talking about being lonely? Or being alone? Those are two different things. I am always alone, but I am not lonely. I enjoy being by myself and I am a very happy person for the most part. I think studies only show projections. I’m not doctor but I think if being around people messes with my zen and being alone keeps me calm and collected … how would that be a health issue if im happy and not stressed?

Always being happy is absurd

Thanks for that comment because it’s the truth for me. Maybe not others but for me it is. When I was a teenager I remember thinking quite often that all I wanted was to just be happy. I’m a severe introvert and I’m happy to not be in crowds of people. I can only stand it for so long. I would rather work at home. You’re comment was also a reality check. Thank you. I really and actually need to hear this everyday.

Being single and alone all the time isn’t really fun at all, unless you really enjoy it.

Then there are those of us who are lonely for a reason: in my case, I have always wanted a romantic partner but in my 65 years have never had one. That is a legitimate, honourable desire and one cannot simply “do” enough things to not let it affect me, nor is pretending it does not matter work. I have a great life, I do interesting things, I am considered to be a leader, people enjoy me. I enjoy my alone time but having been alone my entire life. that aloneness no longer serves me well. And the “answer” for me is not to throw 100s of people at me; I want an intimate, full-time connection with a romantic partner. Why is that seen as such an unreasonable desire?

I have read your article some of what you saying is true but not all we are all individuals some people’s circumstances don’t allow for socialisation they don’t have control of there lives so can’t live a normal life ex prisoners don’t have the chance to have socialisation

With most women nowadays being very independent since they don’t even want a man anymore in their life to begin with, and this is why many of us single men can’t find love which this definitely has a lot to do with it unfortunately. Finding love in the past was very easy, the way our family members had it back then with no trouble at all either. Women today aren’t like those old days at all, and they were very old fashioned back then as well. Feminism is everywhere today altogether, making love even much harder for many of us men still looking for a very serious relationship now.

I couldn’t agree with you but at the same time, I do agree to an extent. I want to share life with someone instead of being alone all the time. I wish there was men who would see that yes I’m independent but I don’t want to keep doing this alone. Like right now being sick, damn tired of not having someone just to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok or that sense of security you find in a relationship. Or being taken care of when sick. It’s like a rarity now days. Idk I just saw your comment and wanted to say, we do exist! I do anyway.

I feel the same way as you Brittney. As a child I was the baby of the family and rather spoiled I think. I had 2 older sisters 6 & 9 years older. We didn’t have a sister relationship because of the age difference and I’ve always had the impression I was a brat. In childhood I recall having a difficult time making any friends and always felt they didn’t want to be with me. I had a couple friends usually but as I’ve grown older and am alone its harder to make friends and don’t have much family. Or any hobbies. My sisters don’t talk to me at all or see me anymore even when I try reaching out. Lifelong friends have recently dropped me without explanation and I can’t work anymore, due to irregular sleep cycles, severe depression and anxiety and some symptoms of agoraphobia. The people that are in my life either decide when or how much to see me and what to do. It is typically one of my adult kids no longer in the home, but one lives close and the other is a little over an hour. I rarely even get phone calls from them and they’re single. I talk to my mom who is 90 and lives an hour away, but she is distancing herself from me, and it causes me a huge amount of fear and insecurity. I have nobody else who will ever take care of me or spend time with me, even my kids or siblings. I’m running out of money and I don’t have any place to go or anyone to live with. It scares me immensely. I have shared these feelings but it’s up and down which is almost worse.I have spent the last 4 & 1/2 years alone in my bed, I don’t even have pets anymore but I want them. I have legal issues and things that need to be taken care of but I can’t find motivation to do them myself so nothing ever gets done and more time passes and I become more and more depressed and nobody seems to care. Drs drop me, people I think are friends steal and take advantage of me and I can’t rely on anyone. It’s a horrible feeling being so totally alone. I used to have a very fulfilling life. I got married at 23 and had 2 children by age28. My husband who I believed was loyal left me and our kids after 21years and messed everyone up. We have no family connections or traditions, we are all on own scattered about and rarely talk or see each other. It’s nothing like it was. My ex had another daughter ten years ago who keeps him young. He has a close family, including2 healthy parents and2 brothers one who is also divorced. He is close to his family and cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and dates young beautiful women while I get older and less attractive and have nothing to talk about. He has no interest in me whatsoever, he doesn’t even talk to me for 13 years since we were divorced. I’ve had no relationships. I think I want him to come back even though I know he won’t. He has a high 6 figure income, can fix things and has lots of hobbies and close friends. He can buy everything he wants and go anywhere. He always has his daughter to do things with and our kids will see them when he wants. He has the best of all worlds and I barely have anything and live in fear and he has no concern for me. It’s like he got to press the rewind button and he just took out the pieces of his life he didn’t want and replaced them with new ones. I’m one of the people he threw away after 21 years and I don’t know what to do it’s been so long since I even went out with a friend, much less dated. I’m 56 and my kids are single. This is just not even close to the life I thought I would have and I really don’t know how to fix it at least not for long. I feel doomed. If anyone has ideas for me or books to read or things to do, I would appreciate anything. To all of you in similar situations, my heart and prayers go out to you all.

I hope that you are healthy ma’am. I can relate with people not liking you. But, the problem with us is inferiority complex. Maybe, you always take blame for the bad situations in the relationships etc. You must let go of the past and focus on anything to keep yourself occupied. Wishing you good luck.

I feel extremely nervous and stressed out around people. I just don’t like to be seen, heard, or have anyone be aware I exist. I only feel happy when alone. I can’t enjoy anything when someone else is around, like my mind goes kind of blank, and I can’t even remember anything too well afterward. I haven’t left my house in 10 years. I think it’s okay to be alone all the time for some people.

This is how I feel when constantly alone. Being around people reminds me that I do exist and I like talking to people and learning because people are so interesting. Thank you for sharing this.

Hi Kai, So it sounds to me like you actually we quite comfortable with being alone and you enjoy your own company. Do you think you have always felt this way? You said you have been alone for 10 years. I’ve been pretty much alone for 5. I don’t want to be alone but I have trouble finding the right person or people who will genuinely accept me. It’s hard for me to think about a new marriage even though that is what I want more than anything. That’s what I wanted ever since I was a little girl and I was happiest as a wife and mom and having a family. It’s just not easy to just find someone at my age and life as when I was young and everyone was in the same boat pretty much. I’m curious, did you always want to be alone? Was it a gradual process that you have been alone for10 years? Do you ever think you have any desire to be with anyone or are you ever with anyone for short periods of time? I’m just curious, if you do go out does it just reinforce that you feel better when you’re alone? One more question if you don’t mind- do you have any idea what led you to preferring your life alone? If I have asked too much, don’t feel you need to answer. I’m just really curious for multiple reasons. I am wondering if I can find a way to be more content with being alone and how or if some people just are predisposed to preferring the lifestyle of being alone and others who would rather be with someone? Thank you for any answers and all the best!

Then there are many of us single good men that have a lot of trouble finding love today unfortunately. And had we been born back in the old days which we definitely would had met the right good woman to settle down with, and we really could’ve avoided all of this today as well.

This really shed some light for me today. I’ve been expressing my concern to the few people in my life but I don’t think it’s doing me any good. I am alone all the time and feeling very isolated and extremely lonely. I walk 6 miles a day just to keep my sanity but I don’t live in a very safe community. I sit in my room otherwise. I am trying to find a work from home job so I can save up for a car and get back on track but with literally no help no support system and feeling so lonely, it’s very difficult. I wish my life wasn’t like this.

Inorder not to get any problem out there, I prefer enjoying the company of my family at home and if i’m out there i try to be nice to everyone and go my way.

I’m 31, and I’ve been alone for almost my entire life. I love it actually, but the problem is I really don’t know how to be social as I just need one simple connection, to promote my product/work. Also good to mind one very annoying con. FOr me, people only contact you when they need help, yes, I’m kind of tool, nothing else. Wonderful people.

I understand where you’re coming from. I am 63 and been lonely most of my life. I was married twice (In my twenties), and was a musician/recording artist for about 40 years (retired in 2012 from the music industry), and have had several other jobs in my past life. I use to have engaging positive relationships going to visit people, people coming to visit me, but for the last 2 years or so, I seem to have been more of an introvert than extravert. Now, I don’t have any friends any longer, some have died, no family, no communication except with people on Facebook (facebook friends), but I don’t really know them, lolll. So I live my life day in and day out, communicating with those people and I hurt all the time (Have a torn rotator cuff in left shoulder can’t move it, have limited mobility), and I have cervical/lumbar spondylosis and moderate disk degeneration and am pretty much isolated from the world. I walk every morning (a mile), and sometimes I go to my brothers, but I have “NO” immediate family, wife or kids….I really have no one I can confide in or relate to, and like I said I am 63 years old and recently retired. I have two college degrees, and I guess I will die all alone, oh well, that’s life…..

Brittney, the more I read from you, the more I see we have alike. It seems like we both desperately want to have meaningful people in our lives that we can spend time with and enjoy ourselves, and would especially love to find that one special person to spend our lives with, rely on, take care of each other, always have a companion to do things with and discover new things, but we’re just so accustomed to being alone all the time, we don’t know how to change it or even if we can. Were you ever with anyone? I have a lot of admiration for you for getting yourself out and walking long distances for your well being, working from home, and at least trying. I know that if I am around New people who I don’t have much in common with, but maybe just wish I was more like them, I might feel I’m having a good time for a short time but I seem to tire easily and feel like I’d rather be alone. It used to be fun being around people and I would always laugh and talk and could have fun for hours. I don’t know what changed or why. I’ve always preferred to be with a couple close friends as opposed to a big gathering, which make me feel very anxious and awkward and I usually make excuses to go back home. I always seemed to enjoy being with a significant other who I feel comfortable with and can be intimate and affectionate with. I like feeling like someone wants me.

Being single and alone all the time has so many disadvantages as well. Wherever we go which we will always be alone, going out to eat in a restaurant by yourself is no fun at all for many of us single men, and going on a vacation alone is just as bad if not worse. That what makes the married life the best of all since you never have to worry about being all by yourself wherever you decide to go. Married life overall wins out. The real problem is that many of us single good men can’t meet the right good woman to share our life with, and a great deal of us aren’t single by choice either.

Michael, I totally agree with everything you say. People are generally just more content when they have someone special in their lives that they are going to spend their lives with, travel, eat meals with, dine out, play board games, try new things, watch movies, talk about your days and your lives before you knew one another, and sharing your dreams with and the things you want to do, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, being intimate, sharing a friendship and spending time with family and friends….. your person. If you want to, feel free to email me. Take care!

there is a vast difference between a loner and being alone. I am very sociable, but I choose my friends.. I have a very good relationship with my boyfriend and Im very close to my family. But I am ALONE! How? I dont get bullied with other people’s thoughts and critics. I sleep whenever I want and eat good meals. I dont watch television or listen to radio. I listen to good music all day long and can be stuck in my room for weeks without being depressed or wanting to have people around to feel good. I am very much happy by myself, I dont party neither do I spend long hours outing. Im a free spirited person ready to meet new people, share ideas and have fun, yet Im strong willed and not easily influenced…

You seem to be very comfortable in your own skin and your life. Did it take you time to reach the point you are now or do you feel it was inherent? I am so inspired by the posivity you have in your life.

I have afew friends, some that I see in person on both in-person and online virtual classes, as well as some friends that I”ve had for a number of years. Due to the pandemic, there are friends that I haven’t seen in person since the pandemic started, but see them on zoom.us on occasion.

I live alone, which I prefer, because I can choose when to come and go, and see whatever movies that I please. Sometimes I see movies alone, and others I go to with other people.

I do know from personal experience, however, that being with people that I really do not like or cannot connect with at all is far lonelier than being by oneself.

I do alone. By choice. I need my space, like a cat, n hate crowds. I organise my time. Do full on people, kids, n social stuff..but it drains me. I’d love a partner who understood, but sadly I think people who drain are empathic, it’s emotional overload. But we rock up n cope. You can do it, n good stuff comes from that cos you are a feeling kind, it’s about where possible, plan it in n don’t get dropped on, I just say sos, already hangin

People annoy me. I am alone. My only contact with other people is dealing with store clerks… although I prefer the self-checkout line so that I don’t have to deal with anybody. I’m 64 years old. Retired, so I don’t have to deal with co-workers or supervisors.

It is very easy for many of us single men to really blame the women today for our singleness since so many of these women are very independent now , and don’t really need and want a man today anymore since Feminism has a lot to do with it as well.

I disagree with your statement on being alone can increase motivation and productivity. If you look closer into individuals and those who are team you will see that it’s the ones with a “team” that are actually more productive than those who are isolated and or lonely. In my current situation I have lost my career, experienced traumatic events, lost my career as a nurse, and went from being a happy, outgoing, fun, loving and enthusiastic person to being depressed, little interest in things, almost like the patient that my second job after graduating from nursing school currently experiences because he cannot talk, walk, and is confined to his bed in his bedroom at his private residence and only leaves his home for the occasional doctors appointment. Just like him I now cry daily, and my mental health is deteriorating. So for a lack of better words, I say your theory is completely wrong and you should possibly consider this.

I can relate with you and a lot of the experiences you have gone through unfortunately. It seems like once we have experienced more losses and more rejection, we do have a tendency to isolate ourselves from people, thinking they don’t want to be with us. And sometimes I don’t think they do. As a former mental health therapist, which brought me a lot of satisfaction and joy knowing I was making a difference in some lives and I was there to listen and genuinely cared. Almost every day I received compliments from the people I worked with and it made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile and helpful. Then I became ill and was unable to keep working and people just seemed to forget me (co-workers) , friends, and making new friends at 56 is very hard. People either have a long term friend group, are married or witha partner. And most people seem close to their families. I guess it’s like people are close to everyone and have it all or they have nobody, nothing in between. It’s hard for me, but I truly believe for some people, being alone is what they prefer, and if they are happy with that they should have the right to be.

This was a very interesting and helpful article and I really enjoyed the comments people shared about their lives and preferences. I do question if the people who are truly content with being alone are that way due to genetics, birth order, messages received and observed in the family of origin and expectations or a lack of expectations and the freedom to make their own choices. I also question what role these factors play in people who are more inclined to be introverts, both early in life and on, or after experiencing some losses and trauma or unspoken messages that they are not worthy unless they have someone in their life.

I’m being surrounded by a$$holes since birth, my parents are toxic (my dad has intimidating aura, my mom bursts like a wildfire & when I’m in deep pain, she lacks empathy, my brothers are a bunch of charming pricks that they can easily paint me in a bad light (all because I don’t have the capacity to say something in defense). I feel like this toxic family gaslights upme & I’m living in fear & anxiety, developing depret… because of that I’d rather be alone.

Articles like this are missing the point entirely. I typed in, i cant do it all by myself, meaning physically and NOT sexually, dont insult me. I simply dont have the energy or time. Im physically spent. Its too much especially as a swf. Maybe if people would do their jobs correctly and not waste my time by having to cater to their f-ups, ie messing up causing me to do returns etc.or wasting my time by making me and others ahead of me wait(walgreens) or companies would stop being so cheap and build quality products that dont break so i dont have to take the time to return something.

It does take a team to succeed and these men ive met think they can just f around and its all fun and games, they dont take a relationship seriously. Incredibly dumb men. It would benefit us both but they cant see it, its all about sex, which is so sad and pretty showing about their low self esteem and lack of intelligence. It takes a team of half doing half the work, so sheet can actually get done vs one person trying to do it all by themselves.

Understanding and Preventing Teen Suicide: CAMS-4Teens™ as an Effective Treatment Approach

Making Sense of Your Life

How Important Is Alone Time for Mental Health?

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight

Personality and Alone Time

Aloneness vs. Loneliness

Signs You Need It
Ways to Get It
Getting Others to Respect It
Overcoming Fear of Alone Time

People tend to be social creatures, and research has shown that social connections are vital for both emotional and physical well-being. However, alone time, which is sometimes called private time or solitary time and simply means spending time by yourself, is also good for you as it plays a positive role in mental health.

Being around other people comes with rewards, but it also creates stress . You might worry about what people think or alter your behavior to avoid rejection and to fit in with the rest of the group. While this may be the cost of being part of a social world, some of these challenges demonstrate why alone time can be so important.

Benefits of Alone Time

Having time for yourself gives you the chance to break free from social pressures and tap into your own thoughts, feelings , and experiences. Finding time to be alone can also have a number of key benefits. Some of these include:

Improved personal exploration
Increased creativity
More social energy

Improved Personal Exploration

Becoming comfortable in your own company can give you the time and freedom to truly explore your own passions without interference. It can be a way to try new things, research topics that fascinate you, acquire knowledge, and even practice new methods of self-expression.

Giving yourself alone time means you can explore these things without the pressures and judgments that others may impose. Having time to yourself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focus on yourself .

Increased Creativity

Alone time is an opportunity to let your mind wander and strengthen your creativity . Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward.

Research actually suggests that being alone can lead to changes in the brain that help fuel the creative process. One study found that people who tend to purposely withdraw in order to spend time alone also tend to be highly creative people .

In a 2020 study published in the journal Nature Communications , researchers found that perceived social isolation (a.k.a. loneliness) led to increased activity in the neural circuits related to imagination. When left with a lack of social stimulation, the brain ramps up its creative networks to help fill the void.

More Social Energy

Living alone tends to be seen in a negative light. However, researchers have found that people who live alone may actually have richer social lives and more social energy than people who cohabitate with others.

In his book “Going Solo,” sociologist Eric Klineberg notes that one in seven U.S. adults lives alone. Klineberg found that not only were these adults not lonely, many actually had richer social lives.

The COVID-19 pandemic demonstrated both the challenges of loneliness and a lack of solitary time. While many people struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness, others faced the challenges of suddenly spending a great deal of time in close quarters with family members or roommates. Blurred work-life boundaries and a lack of time apart meant that many people were suddenly struggling with a complete lack of alone time.

Reasons Why Alone Time Isn’t Always Easy

Alone time can be challenging for some people for a variety of reasons. One study found that many people would prefer to give themselves painful electric shocks rather than sit alone with their own thoughts.

Some of these reasons people might struggle with being alone include:

Lack of experience being alone : Some people just might not be used to being by themselves because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected.
Distressing thoughts and feelings : In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or find themselves engaging in rumination and worry.
Social stigma : Stigma about being alone can also play a role in shaping how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.

Marketing professor and researcher Rebecca Ratner of the University of Maryland found that people often avoid doing things they enjoy if they have to do them alone. This is particularly true if it is an activity that can be observed by others, such as going to dinner or a movie solo.

Such findings suggest that a stigma about being alone influences whether people think they enjoy such activities. "When people do things alone, they enjoy themselves more than they expected," Ratner explains. "People overestimate the benefits of being with someone else."

How Personality Affects the Need for Alone Time

It is also important to note that aspects of your personality, as well as your individual preferences, can play a role in determining how much alone time you need and how beneficial it may be. Extroverts tend to feel energized by social experiences, for example, so solitude might be more challenging for them. Introverts , on the other hand, gain energy from being alone.

However, don't think that just because you are an extrovert that you won't enjoy spending time by yourself. In one study, social psychologist Thuy-vy Thi Nguyen found that introverts and extroverts didn't actually differ in the amount of enjoyment they gained from solitude. Contrary to popular belief, introverts didn't enjoy solitude any more than extroverts.

"Our findings suggested that individuals who stay true to their choices and convictions are more likely to take interest and see value in spending time with themselves, despite their propensities for sociality or insecurity around other people," the authors explain.

No matter what your personality type , there may be times you can benefit from some quality time to yourself.

Even before the pandemic, experts warned of a loneliness epidemic that threatened the wellness of people of all ages. Research suggests that people experience more loneliness now than they have in the past. According to one 2018 report, half of Americans feel lonely sometimes, while 25% report feeling lonely almost all the time.

There is an abundance of evidence showing that loneliness can have devastating health consequences. It has been linked to elevated blood pressure, hastened cognitive decline, social anxiety, and an increased risk for Alzheimer's disease.

Loneliness is linked to a wide range of negative health consequences, including a higher risk for depression, anxiety, obesity, high blood pressure, and early death.

But it is important to remember that being alone doesn’t equal loneliness. Where loneliness is marked by negative feelings associated with isolation, alone time involves finding freedom, inspiration, and rejuvenation in solitude.

More recently, researchers have begun to explore the idea that a certain amount of quality alone time can be just as vital for emotional and physical wellness .

Signs You Need Some Alone Time

It’s not always easy to recognize the signs that you might need some time away from other people. Some signs to watch for include:

Feeling short-tempered
Getting easily irritated by sometimes minor things
Losing interest in doing things with other people
Feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated
Having trouble concentrating
Getting anxious about spending time with other people

The good news is that, even if you are struggling with any of these signs, a little alone time can have a significant restorative effect. In one study, people who reported spending approximately 11% of their time alone experienced fewer negative feelings in subsequent demanding social experiences.

Ways to Get Your Alone Time

If you are thinking of spending some time alone, it is important to do so in ways that are beneficial to your mental well-being. Being alone is most beneficial when it is voluntary. It’s also important that you feel like you can return to your social world whenever you like.

Pick a time : Figure out when you’d like to spend some time alone. Plan that time into your schedule and make sure that other people know that they shouldn’t interrupt you during that time.
Turn off social media : Work on eliminating distractions, particularly ones that invite social comparisons . Your focus should be on your own thoughts and interests and not on what other people are doing.
Plan something : Not everyone is comfortable spending time alone, so you might find it helpful to plan out what you want to do. This might involve some relaxation time, exploring a favorite hobby, or reading a book.
Take a walk : Research has found that being outside can have a beneficial impact on well-being. If you're feeling cooped up and stifled by too much social interaction, spending a little time outdoors by yourself enjoying a change of scenery can have a restorative effect.

Think about things that you might like to do by yourself , then start doing them alone.

How Much Alone Time Is Healthy?

Each person has differing needs for solitude and social time. Some might need just a few minutes now and then to reset a bad mood, while others might require more extensive stretches of alone time. Try finding a balance between the two that works for your unique needs.

Getting Others to Respect Your Alone Time

Finding time to be alone isn’t always easy. Those around you may have different social needs and may not understand your need for solitude. Family obligations and parenting responsibilities can also make it tough to carve out time for yourself.

Some steps that you can’t take to ensure that you get the time you need:

Be clear : Tell the people around you, whether they are roommates, family members, or your partner, that you need time alone.
Be specific : Let people know what this means. For example, you might say that you need a certain amount of uninterrupted time to read a book, watch a television show, or listen to a podcast.
Return the favor : If people are willing to take steps to ensure that you get some alone time, it is important for you to show them the same consideration. Offer to take on some responsibilities while they have some space to themselves.
Be flexible : If you are trying to find time for yourself when you don't live alone or you live in close quarters with other people, you'll probably need to be flexible and look for opportunities to carve out time for yourself.

Try waking up early in the morning to enjoy some peaceful time to yourself before others in the house start to wake. If that isn't an option, doing things like going for a walk outdoors or having other family members watch the kids or take over household duties while you take a break can be helpful.

Tips to Overcome a Fear of Alone Time

If the thought of being alone makes you fear that you'll end up feeling lonely, research suggests it may be helpful to reframe time spent alone as solitude. In one study, participants were assigned to either read about the prevalence of loneliness, read a passage about the benefits of solitude, or read about an unrelated topic.

After completing this reading, the participants sat alone for a 10-minute period. In each condition, people experienced decreases in both negative and positive feelings. Such results suggest that while being alone might not always boost your mood, it can help you better regulate your emotions .

The study also found that while people who read about the benefits of solitude didn't necessarily experience a better mood, they didn't have the same reduction of positive feelings that those in the other two groups did.

Such findings suggest that reassessing how you look at spending time alone can play an important role in moderating the potentially negative effects of loneliness.

A Word From Verywell

While being alone sometimes gets mistaken for being lonely, it is clear that having time to yourself now and then is important for mental health and well-being. If the thought of spending time on your own makes you feel bored or uncomfortable, try starting with a small chunk of alone time that allows you to focus on a specific task.

As you get better at enjoying your own company, you may find that this alone time helps you feel renewed and inspired for when you do return to your social circle.

Bowker JC, Stotsky MT, Etkin RG. How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood . Pers Individ Diff . 2017;119:283-288. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043

Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L, et al. The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation . Nat Commun . 2020;11(1):6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-w

Klineberg E. Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone . Penguin; 2013.

Wilson TD, Reinhard DA, Westgate EC, et al. Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind . Science . 2014;345(6192):75-77. doi:10.1126/science.1250830

Ratner RK, Hamilton RW. Inhibited from bowling alone . J Consum Res . 2015;(42)2:266-283. doi:10.1093/jcr/ucv012

University of Maryland's Robert H. Smith School of Business. Tips for overcoming alone time still caused by COVID-19, via Maryland Smith expert . PRNewswire.

Nguyen TT, Weinstein N, Ryan R. Who enjoys solitude? Autonomous functioning (but not introversion) predicts self-determined motivation (but not preference) for solitude . PsyArXiv. 2018. doi:10.31234/osf.io/sjcwg

Cigna. New Cigna study reveals loneliness at epidemic levels in America .

Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review . Perspect Psychol Sci . 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352

Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL. Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks . Pruchno R, ed. The Gerontologist . 2019;59(6):1152-1161. doi:10.1093/geront/gny060

Thomas V, Balzer Carr B, Azmitia M, Whittaker S. Alone and online: understanding the relationships between social media, solitude, and psychological adjustment . Psychology of Popular Media . 2021;10(2):201-211. doi:10.1037/ppm0000287

Ewert A, Chang Y. Levels of nature and stress response . Behav Sci (Basel) . 2018;8(5). doi:10.3390/bs8050049

Rodriguez M, Bellet BW, McNally RJ. Reframing time spent alone: reappraisal buffers the emotional effects of isolation . Cognit Ther Res . 2020:1-16. doi:10.1007/s10608-020-10128-x

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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It we are not with others, we are texting, phoning, emailing but spending some time with yourself can reap enormous benefits.

In this pro-social world we are strongly influenced in favor of being with people, or at least constantly interacting with others, be it through social media or other electronic means. We are always going somewhere, doing something or at least chatting to someone about going somewhere or doing something.

What if you stepped away from all of that and took some time just to be alone? Took time to just do your own thing, on your own and in your own way?

Here are 10 benefits of spending time alone:

1) there is no pressure as to how well you perform..

When you are alone you can take time to become involved in activities that you really enjoy with no pressure as to how well you perform them or how accomplished you are. The joy is in the doing, in the experiencing and in your own inner enjoyment of expressing yourself.

2) Your unique brand of creativity flourishes.

Your unique brand of creativity flourishes when you are removed from outside influences. If you want to paint your house, paint a picture, design something, write something, invent something, spend quiet time allowing your imaginative genius freedom to explore possibilities. It can be a most rewarding experience. Explore your abilities and interests. You may come up with something that will change your life.

3) Gear down, refresh and get ready to tackle the world.

We live in a very hectic society. Stress and stress related illness is at an all-time high. Spending time on your own allows you to gear down, refresh and be more ready to tackle the outside world when you re-emerge.

4) Quiet time can help you sort through problems.

Just sitting down and thinking through a problem, thinking about what caused it and how best to resolve it can result in very effective solutions. But even if a solution is not forthcoming, just having taken the time to think things through and to understand the problem more thoroughly can bring peace and a certain courage to carry on.

5) Get a better understanding of yourself.

Do you truly know yourself? Do you feel you really understand who you are? Most people do not. While spending more time alone may not bring you the complete answer to this question, it can certainly give you a much better understanding of how you truly feel about things going on in your life. You can discover more of your abilities, your passions, your interests and even your dislikes. You get a feel for yourself, who you are and where you fit in the world. This brings self-confidence .

6) You may find a new best friend.

Contentment with life is strongly based on contentment with who you are. If you spend time alone, you find out more about yourself. If you really dig down and get to know yourself thoroughly, and to enjoy who you are, your interactions with the world will work out better too because when you know and like who you are as a person it shows through everything you do and say. It is a very attractive quality.

7) Get more done.

Do you have a list of things you need to do, want to do? Is your list one of these that never seems to get any shorter because you are always too busy to get around to doing the things on the list? Spending time on your own will allow you uninterrupted time to get these things done. You may or may not enjoy doing them, depending on what is on your list, but you will definitely feel better for having finished them. You will emerge with less stress, less weighing on your mind and the satisfaction of a job well done.

8) Become more relaxed and tolerant.

Do you sometimes feel irritable and get easily annoyed with people? Do you find a great many “jerks” around you at times? The more annoying people appear to you, and more of them there are, the more you could benefit from some time on your own. You cannot change the world, you cannot change what other people say or do. But you can change your perspective on them. After some calm, peaceful time on your own doing whatever pleases you, or doing nothing at all, you will find the annoyances in life shrink dramatically because you are now relaxed and more tolerant.

9) Explore the possibilities for your life.

You can explore the possibilities for your life. What would you like to achieve or do? How can you go about it? What do you need to do to be able to start? Think things through. Allow your mind to wander. Do not relegate anything as impossible. Just keep on thinking about what would give you the most satisfaction, the most joy. What is that? Take time alone to look inside and ponder on what would make your life the most worth living, both for yourself and for those you love. It may be something that comes through your work or not. The important thing is that it is what brings you joy and engages your passion.

10) Enjoy time with someone awesome.

And finally, it is a great idea to spend time on your own because you are awesome and spending time with someone awesome is a wonderful, exhilarating, amazing thing to be able to do. Spend time alone and celebrate you.

Time by yourself can benefit you in so many ways plus making the time you spend with others more enjoyable as a result of being more in tune with yourself and more relaxed. What would you enjoy doing on your own?

Spending time alone in nature is good for your mental and emotional health

Professor of Outdoor Education, Montreat College

Associate Professor and Program Director of Parks and Recreation Management, Western Carolina University

Associate Professor of Outdoor Education, Montreat College

Disclosure statement

Brad Daniel is Executive Director of 2nd Nature TREC LLC, which provides training, research, education and consulting to various outdoor-oriented organizations. He serves on the Board of the Environmental Educators of North Carolina (EENC), as Chair of the Leadership Team for the Southeastern Environmental Education Alliance (SEEA), and as Co-Chair of the Symposium on Experiential Education Research (SEER) for the Association for Experiential Education (AEE).

Andrew Bobilya is co-founder and director of training and education at 2nd Nature TREC LLC, which provides training, research, education and consulting to various outdoor-oriented organizations. He is Co-chair of the Symposium on Experiential Education Research (SEER) for the Association for Experiential Education (AEE).

Ken Kalisch does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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Today Americans live in a world that thrives on being busy, productive and overscheduled. Further, they have developed the technological means to be constantly connected to others and to vast options for information and entertainment through social media. For many, smartphones demand their attention day and night with constant notifications.

As a result, naturally occurring periods of solitude and silence that were once commonplace have been squeezed out of their lives. Music, reality TV shows, YouTube, video games, tweeting and texting are displacing quiet and solitary spaces. Silence and solitude are increasingly viewed as “dead” or “unproductive” time, and being alone makes many Americans uncomfortable and anxious.

But while some equate solitude with loneliness, there is a big difference between being lonely and being alone. The latter is essential for mental health and effective leadership .

We study and teach outdoor education and related fields at several colleges and organizations in North Carolina, through and with other scholars at 2nd Nature TREC, LLC , a training, research, education and consulting firm. We became interested in the broader implications of alone time after studying intentionally designed solitude experiences during wilderness programs, such as those run by Outward Bound . Our findings reveal that time alone in nature is beneficial for many participants in a variety of ways, and is something they wish they had more of in their daily life.

Reflection and challenge

We have conducted research for almost two decades on Outward Bound and undergraduate wilderness programs at Montreat College in North Carolina and Wheaton College in Illinois. For each program, we studied participants’ experiences using multiple methods, including written surveys, focus group interviews, one-on-one interviews and field notes. In some cases, we asked subjects years later to look back and reflect on how the programs had affected them. Among other questions, our research looked at participant perceptions of the value of solo time outdoors .

Our studies showed that people who took part in these programs benefited both from the outdoor settings and from the experience of being alone. These findings build on previous research that has clearly demonstrated the value of spending time in nature.

Scholars in fields including wilderness therapy and environmental psychology have shown that time outdoors benefits our lives in many ways. It has a therapeutic effect , relieves stress and restores attention . Alone time in nature can have a calming effect on the mind because it occurs in beautiful, natural and inspirational settings.

Nature also provides challenges that spur individuals to creative problem-solving and increased self-confidence. For example, some find that being alone in the outdoors, particularly at night, is a challenging situation. Mental, physical and emotional challenges in moderation encourage personal growth that is manifested in an increased comfort with one’s self in the absence of others.

Being alone also can have great value. It can allow issues to surface that people spend energy holding at bay, and offer an opportunity to clarify thoughts, hopes, dreams and desires. It provides time and space for people to step back, evaluate their lives and learn from their experiences. Spending time this way prepares them to re-engage with their community relationships and full work schedules.

Putting it together: The outdoor solo

Participants in programmed wilderness expeditions often experience a component known as “Solo,” a time of intentional solitude lasting approximately 24-72 hours. Extensive research has been conducted on solitude in the outdoors because many wilderness education programs have embraced the educational value of solitude and silence.

Solo often emerges as one of the most significant parts of wilderness programs, for a variety of reasons. Alone time creates a contrasting experience to normal living that enriches people mentally, physically and emotionally. As they examine themselves in relation to nature, others, and in some cases, God, people become more attuned to the important matters in their lives and in the world of which they are part.

Solitary reflection enhances recognition and appreciation of key personal relationships, encourages reorganization of life priorities , and increases appreciation for alone time, silence, and reflection. People learn lessons they want to transfer to their daily living , because they have had the opportunity to clarify, evaluate and redirect themselves by setting goals for the future.

For some participants, time alone outdoors provides opportunity to consider the spiritual and/or religious dimension of life. Reflective time, especially in nature, often enhances spiritual awareness and makes people feel closer to God. Further, it encourages their increased faith and trust in God . This often occurs through providing ample opportunities for prayer, meditation, fasting, Scripture-reading, journaling and reflection time.

Retreating to lead

As Thomas Carlyle has written, “In (solitary) silence, great things fashion themselves together.” Whether these escapes are called alone time, solitude or Solo, it seems clear that humans experience many benefits when they retreat from the “rat race” to a place apart and gather their thoughts in quietness.

In order to live and lead effectively, it is important to be intentional about taking the time for solitary reflection. Otherwise, gaps in schedules will always fill up, and even people with the best intentions may never fully realize the life-giving value of being alone.

Spirituality
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Sydney Horizon Educators (Identified)

Senior Disability Services Advisor

Deputy Social Media Producer

Associate Professor, Occupational Therapy

GRAINS RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION CHAIRPERSON

The Benefits Of Solitude: How To Be Happy Alone

If you're single or don't have close friends and family, seeing other people in relationships might make you feel lonely. Whether out in public or scrolling on social media, seeing other couples and friends having fun together could make you upset about being alone. However, there can be several benefits to being alone. You can learn more about your personality, improve your well-being, and work toward self-fulfillment by spending time alone. Understanding the benefits of solitude may give you hope and a sense of peace, even when you don't have others around you.

What does it mean to be happy alone?

Being happy alone may mean finding peace with your flaws, circumstances, and significance in the world. It could mean believing and understanding that your presence is valuable, no matter what you believe others want from you.

According to recent research, people who enjoy their alone time are less likely to be tense, moody, and worried, suggesting that having alone time isn't necessarily harmful and can be beneficial.

Note that being happy alone isn't the same as isolating yourself from others as a symptom of a mental illness or another challenge. If you're struggling with your mental health, connecting with others and being honest about what you're going through can be healthy. Being happy alone doesn't mean neglecting your emotional needs, relationships, or desires, as social connection is an essential aspect of being human.

Ways to enjoy your time alone

Spending joyous time with yourself can be a significant step in the right direction when trying to be happy alone. Below are a few ways you can get started.

Ask yourself what gives you a sense of purpose

When alone, consider what makes you truly happy. Ask yourself the following:

What situations make you genuinely smile?
What are your core interests?
What are values and moral codes you believe you can't live without?
When was the last time you felt a sense of "awe"?
What do you believe your "life purpose" is?
What would you do if nothing were holding you back?

Make a list of everything you can think of that makes you happy. You can list "the little things," like sipping a mug of tea or planting flowers, or big-picture ideas like traveling the world or volunteering. Look at this list as soon as you wake up each day, and try to include at least one item on your list in your daily routine.

Learn a new skill

List ten skills you've wanted to learn but haven't gotten around to. Spending time in solitude allows you to concentrate all your energy on what you want to focus on without worrying about another person's desires. Alone time can also inspire opportunities for creativity. Picking up new hobbies can allow you to learn more about yourself, cultivate patience, and express yourself in new ways.

In this step, consider going outside of your comfort zone. If you're not ready to pick up a new hobby or explore interests, make a point to go somewhere new each week. For example, you could visit a coffee shop down the street or in a distant town. You might find that exploring new places alone is rewarding, as you can go at your own pace and follow your own schedule.

Breathe and be patient

When learning to be alone, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If you are frequently stressed, anxious, or depressed, try spending time each day focusing on your thoughts and feelings. One way to start is by keeping a journal. If you let yourself write freely for 30 minutes of uninterrupted time each day, you may come up with unique ideas. Journaling can be a form of self-care by helping you reach the core of emotional problems, and you may learn something new about yourself each day. Writing can also act as a release , so stress and other emotions you may have been holding onto can be expressed.

Practice meditation and yoga

Meditation and yoga may alleviate stress. Both practices focus on self-awareness and the importance of silence. If you don't have time to commit to an entire yoga routine each morning, consider setting aside five or ten minutes of peaceful time to sit, close your eyes, and breathe evenly.

In the silence, you can try to empty your mind of all worries, plans, and thoughts. Try not to let your mind wander, and focus on the present moment. In addition, look for a quiet place without distractions and let yourself be. These activities can relax your mind and may offer a clear-headed approach to each day.

Set new goals

Setting positive life goals may improve your well-being and offer you a better sense of direction and self-worth, no matter how small the goals seem. These goals may be related to health, such as starting a new exercise routine or eating more vegetables. Contrarily, they could be related to creativity or your interest in learning to draw or writing short stories. Whatever the goal, visualize yourself completing it. What kind of person could you be when you achieve it? What emotions might you experience?

Many significant life goals can seem daunting, especially when focusing primarily on the first step. When listing your goals, start small. For example, if you want to run a marathon, you might not want to force yourself to sign up for one and complete it in the same week. Instead, consider beginning a training regimen. You can start small by power walking around the block several times daily. When this step gets more manageable, try jogging around the block. When that step becomes more convenient, try for a mile, trying to beat your time each week. Your body and form may become stronger every week, allowing you to complete the marathon efficiently. This method of minor steps toward larger goals may boost self-confidence and motivate you to progress.

Switch up your routine

Being stuck in a routine can make life seem slower and more repetitive. When the days start to blur into weeks, the world could seem duller, and it may be difficult to remember what made you happy in the first place. When you feel this way, completely changing your routine may be helpful.

If you've been working at a job you hate for years, consider looking for a new position. If you have considered taking a trip, consider booking the ticket and starting a new adventure. If you're not ready to make significant changes, a more immediate task, like changing your bedroom or painting your kitchen a new color, can add some spice to your daily life and contribute to personal development.

Changing something about your daily routine keeps life from becoming stagnant. Another way of bringing about change and improving well-being is to eliminate unnecessary clutter. Consider cleaning out your living area and donating any items you don't need anymore. A clean, organized living space can facilitate an organized state of mind and may improve mental health.

Practice self-love

If you are lonely because you crave validation from another person, consider focusing less on the outside world and your perceived lack of social connectivity and instead practice self-love. Make a list of all the aspects you love about yourself. Do an activity that relaxes you, such as burning incense, taking a long bubble bath, playing calming music, or drinking a cup of tea while reading a book. These tasks may help you refocus and look at your situation in a new light.

Embrace your alone time

In solitude, another person does not influence your daily routine, thoughts, and actions. You don't have to change your plans when you're alone because a significant other has something else in mind. You can eat dessert before dinner every day of the week without anyone criticizing you. You can make decisions on a whim without notifying anyone.

Instead of viewing this solitude as negativity, consider focusing on improving an aspect of yourself or your life that you've wanted to work on. Instead of putting all your energy and time into another person, you can put this effort into improving yourself and making your own life more rewarding. This process could involve your health, finances, spirituality, or career. You can visualize where you want to be five, ten, or fifteen years from now and begin working toward that reality.

Keep yourself occupied

If you're bored and believe you have too much alone time, it might be easy for your mind to wander off into dark territory. Loneliness or sadness may worsen if you're bored. Try keeping yourself occupied by reading a book series, binge-watching your favorite show, or writing a poem. Whatever activity you choose, it may be more productive than doing nothing.

Escape with music

Loneliness and feeling isolated from society can cause depression for some individuals. Reconnection with yourself using music. Music is a standard go-to solution to escape challenges or relate with others, and it may serve to immerse yourself in a universe of emotion.

Talk to a professional

If you desire to withdraw from those you love or are unsure how to move forward in a challenging moment, it may be helpful to talk to a professional. A therapist can support you and help you understand how to make the most of your solitude. If you are uncomfortable with in-person sessions, you can participate in therapy in a safe environment by signing up for online therapy platforms like BetterHelp.

More than one study has shown that internet-based therapy can successfully decrease symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. One study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that individuals experiencing sadness or anxiety were more empowered after utilizing online therapy resources, particularly compared to in-person treatment. The listed benefits of internet-based therapy included ease of use, cost, and flexibility.

Online therapy can be an effective means of dealing with loneliness. Unlike traditional office-based therapy, online counseling may offer comfort for shy people. If your loneliness is severe, you can message your therapist using the online platform and receive a response when they are available throughout the week.

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"Kameron is the best counselor I've ever had. Not only is BetterHelp really convenient for my busy lifestyle, but my counselor is the best. She listens and understands what I'm going through even when I'm terrible at explaining it. She pushes me in a positive way, asking the real hard questions so I can have those moments of self-discovery. She's amazing to work with, and being able to write her and schedule phone or video sessions is so convenient."

Why is spending time with yourself important?

Just as socialization is key to mental and physical health, so is occasional solitude. If you don’t spend time alone, you can be at greater risk of anxiety or depression. Stress can build and also lead to health problems like high blood pressure, a rise in cortisol, and cognitive symptoms like a lack of focus.

Why do I like spending time with myself?

There are a number of reasons you may enjoy spending time alone. If you are someone who has a job that requires social interaction, taking a break can be essential to recharge. If you are someone who spends a lot of time with other people in any capacity, you may become overstimulated and require alone time. Being alone can help you get to know yourself better, and increase creativity. Enjoying time alone can also indicate that you are comfortable with yourself, and don’t require the constant approval of others.

What does it mean to spend time with yourself?

Spending time with yourself can be done in a number of ways. It may not always be comfortable, but it can be valuable. Journaling is a popular way to spend time alone, getting thoughts on paper and sparking creativity. You may also take walks alone, letting the mind go quiet as you observe the world around you. Solo hobbies can also be a good way to spend time with yourself, engaging in activities like arts and crafts, music, or reading.

Is it okay to spend time by yourself?

Yes, alone time is not only okay, but it can also be essential to health and happiness. Creative people especially require the brain to be “bored” at times to spark new ideas. Stress management becomes difficult if you don’t take the time to recharge your social battery. This may be especially true for people who experience social anxiety.

Why being alone is powerful?

Being alone allows us to have a break from the pressures of social interaction, work, and other daily stressors. In popular media, a “hustle” mentality is commonly held up as ideal, which comes with a negative stigma on time spent just sitting with yourself doing nothing. There are also massive social pressures around “missing out” on social interactions, and social media posts of people constantly engaging in fun activities lead many people to feel uncomfortable being alone.

Reclaiming alone time can help strengthen your own self-concept, as you take time to understand your own needs without distraction. Creativity blossoms in periods of boredom, and alone time can be a fertile ground for developing mindfulness skills.

Does spending time alone make you stronger?

Research suggests that our alone time can help develop resilience. It can also be key to maintaining physical health and mental well-being.

What is the value of alone time?

While humans are social creatures and thrive on positive relationships, we also require time to be alone. Solitude gives us the opportunity to explore ourselves more thoroughly, gives our minds a much-needed break, sparks creativity, and allows us to manage our stress better. Those who get sufficient time alone may also fall asleep more easily, and subsequently be more mentally resilient.

What is the value of taking time for yourself?

There are several benefits to spending time alone, including increased creativity, a recharge of social energy, and better personal exploration.

What do you call a person who likes to be alone?

A person who likes to be alone can be called a solitary person, or in more recent years is often referred to as an introvert. Introverts come in a variety of types, and some are very socially active. Someone who is an introvert simply requires frequent downtime alone to recharge (although even extroverts need this type of downtime as well).

Why being alone is peaceful?

Being alone allows your mind to rest from social requirements and pressures. Often too, a person spending time alone may do so with a form of physical activity like long walks, which can contribute to a more peaceful state of mind. Forest bathing (spending time in nature, sitting or walking) has been extensively researched and shown to lower cortisol levels and blood pressure.

How To Improve Interpersonal Skills: Connecting With Your Community Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox , NCC, LPC
How To Express Yourself & Overcome Shyness: A Guide Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox , NCC, LPC
Relationships and Relations

The Benefits of Being Alone

Get to know yourself, dance like no one’s watching, get outside, be mindful of your social media usage, remember: you don’t need to be productive.

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Being connected to people is important for your happiness and well-being, but it’s also helpful to balance social time with taking time for yourself. Learning to be alone can give you space to think about your feelings, ideas, hopes, problems, and experiences. It’s also a great opportunity to get to know yourself better and spend time resting and relaxing.

It’s not always easy to spend time alone though. Social media—along with the pressure of creating a vibrant social life once you go to college or live on your own—might make you feel like you need to hang out with friends or do something all the time.

If you feel lonely or bored when spending time by yourself, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Read on to learn more about how you can make spending time alone more enjoyable and positive.

One of the greatest benefits of spending time alone is that it can help you develop a better understanding of who you are. The better you know yourself, the more likely you are to do things that you love, learn things that interest you, and spend time with people who make you feel good.

Knowing yourself also builds confidence that can help you navigate all types of situations. To get to know yourself better, spend time reflecting or journaling. You might try one of these journal prompts for self-discovery . You could also try a creative outlet such as making music, drawing, painting, or putting together a vision board.

Find out other ways to get to know and see yourself

When you’re alone, you’re free to try things you may feel uncomfortable doing for the first time in front of others. Being alone allows you to dance, sing, paint, play an instrument, do magic, or build something. You can try new things without being nervous about what others may think. Take this time to be silly and playful.

Want to dance right now? Try this 18-minute dance workout

If we spend most of our time with other people, we always have to be “on.” All that social time can be draining. Time for yourself is a great way to recharge your social battery and slow down for a bit.

Do whatever feels relaxing to you, whether it’s reading a book, watching TV, playing a game, or going for a walk. Taking this time to recharge might also make being with others more enjoyable, since you’ve had time to rest and might have more energy to devote to friends or group activities.

There’s a ton of research about the benefits of spending time outdoors. Taking some time in nature can be refreshing and a great way to enjoy alone time while in the good company of Mother Nature.

You don’t have to do anything fancy. Just going for a walk in your neighborhood, sitting in the park, or hiking in the woods can center you and improve your mood.

When you spend time on your own, your first instinct may be to reach for your phone and scroll on social media. There’s nothing wrong with watching some TikToks or scrolling through Instagram during your downtime, but try to be mindful of how it makes you feel.

Do you enjoy the content, or does it make you feel left out or lead you to compare yourself to others? If being on social media makes you feel down, you may want to do something else or seek out content that makes you feel good, such as a YouTube video from your favorite creator or an inspiring Pinterest board.

Learn more about how to protect your mental health when you use social media .

Alone time doesn’t necessarily need to have an end goal. If lounging in your dorm or apartment or binge-watching a show feels right to you, then do it. You don’t need to be productive when spending time with yourself. Instead, try to focus on being present and enjoying the moment.

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How to identify and talk about your feelings, how to combat misinformation and find reputable sources online, election stress: tips to manage anxious feelings about politics, search resource center.

If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text, call, or chat 988 for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7.

You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.

If this is a medical emergency or if there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.

24 Important Things You Learn When You Spend Time Alone

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Solitude, isolation, seclusion – whatever you like to call it, spending time alone can teach us many valuable lessons.

Being in one’s own company comes more naturally to some than it does others, but regardless of your predisposition, you will take a great deal from the moments you spend apart from people.

When you are disconnected from the rest of humanity, you can expect to discover many things about yourself, not least the 24 things that follow.

1. Being Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

A misconception held by many people – especially extroverts – is that when you are alone, you automatically feel a sense of loneliness.

As an observer, when you see someone by themselves – dining in a restaurant, sitting in a park, or going to the movies – you might instinctively assume they are lonely and that they’d like company.

Yet, when you spend time alone, you realize that this is often far from the truth.

You can be perfectly content without the company of others; in fact, it is very possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by people.

2. You Can Discover Who You Truly Are

If you imagine your mind as some great lake, then every interaction you have with another person causes ripples on the surface.

It is only when you remove yourself from the distractions and energy of other people that the lake becomes calm, allowing you to see your own reflection in it.

Separation from the constant mental turbulence caused by a world full of people is the only opportunity we have to look inward and get to know who we are .

3. Only You Are Responsible For Your Own Life

When all physical connections are broken and you are alone with your thoughts, a fundamental realization falls upon you.

With nobody other than yourself as a guide, you are completely and utterly responsible for the path you take in life.

Even when you are with a person or people, you are ultimately in control of your actions, your choices, and your attitude.

4. You Are Complete

Cut off from the companionship of others, it becomes apparent that, despite the lack of human connection, you continue to exist.

Your breath is unrelenting; your mind is active; you are still alive – all without the input of an outside influence.

The more you focus on this point, the more you come to recognize how complete you must be.

If you were incomplete in any way, how would you be able to function properly?

There is nothing that anyone can give you that you do not already have.

All they can do is help shine a light on something that was previously hidden in darkness.

5. Happiness Comes From Within

Once you understand that you are complete, the obvious next point is that happiness can only grow from inside of you.

It can never be given to you by another.

Of course, you may feel great happiness when in the company of other people – even more so than when you are alone – but this happiness will have been sitting within you as a potential, just waiting for the right time to become a reality.

Never believe that your happiness depends on the will and whim of someone other than yourself.

6. You Don’t Need The Approval Of Others

Seeking the approval of others – your family, your friends, your colleagues, and your teachers – often causes you to lose touch with yourself.

With such great effort and energy going into being what other people believe you should be, there is little left to just be the person you are.

You suppress your genuine dreams and desires in order to have your ego rewarded by the congratulatory nod of your peers.

But solitude turns things around and proves that the only person you need to impress is yourself.

When there’s nobody else around, it is your own approval that matters most, and by always trying to please others, you may never feel completely satisfied.

7. Nobody Will Ever Fully Understand You

When you are alone with no company but your own, you fully appreciate how utterly separate your existence is.

You are the only person who hears your thoughts, sees what you see, and feels what you feel.

This leads to the realization that it is impossible for anybody else to truly understand you in your entirety.

As much as you are connected to everyone and everything else, you are also detached from them in so many ways.

8. Always Be Honest With Yourself

Beyond all the noise and distractions of everyday existence, when you sit silent in the company of your own thoughts, you are forced to confront the realities of your life.

With nowhere to hide and nowhere to run, you come face-to-face with your demons, insecurities, and other issues.

At this point, the only option left is to be completely honest with yourself, and while sometimes painful, it can also feel extremely liberating to address the things that have been weighing on your mind.

9. Introspection Is A Valuable Tool

Being by yourself gives you ample time to turn your gaze inwards and observe your own thoughts, feelings, and mental processes.

From this, you learn a great deal about yourself, such as where your moral compass is pointing, how satisfied you are, and what pain you carry.

Through this self-discovery, you are able to make changes in your life to better reflect the person you really are.

This might apply to your relationships, career, spiritual beliefs, or dreams among many other things.

In essence, self-reflection becomes a conduit through which you awaken the true you.

10. You Can Have Unhealthy Attachments

It is only when you pull yourself away from something that you are able to fully appreciate how strong your attachment to it is.

If you find that you are unable to enjoy your seclusion because of a strong urge towards something or someone, then you might want to consider why this is.

Have you grown so dependant on the influence of an external entity that you no longer feel comfortable without it?

If so, you have might have an unhealthy level of attachment to it.

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11. You Are Capable

When you spend time alone, you are utterly dependent on yourself and this forces you to tackle any obstacle that lay in your path.

It is when you meet these challenges that you realize just how capable you are as an individual.

The false belief that you can’t cope without the help of others is washed away and you gain a renewed trust in your capacity to survive anything.

12. Independence Is Empowering

Being alone and realizing your innate capabilities, you become empowered to make positive changes in your own life, and to be a positive force in the world at large .

You feel able to strike out on your own when necessary in order to pursue the things that really matter to you.

Your fear of the unknown diminishes and your self-belief blossoms.

13. You Realize What’s Important And What’s Not

Isolated from the rest of society, you begin to figure out what the important things are in your life – the people you cherish, the activities you enjoy, and the possessions that hold meaning to you.

It’s only when you have time to quietly sit and ponder that you can separate the essential from the superfluous.

14. Life Is Chaotic

When you are actively engaged in the ceaseless performance that is everyday life, you can’t see it for what it really is: chaos.

You are so entangled in myriad interactions that you are unable to recognize its true form.

As soon as you remove yourself from the system and become an observer, it becomes apparent that much of life is unpredictable and messy and that this is not something to fear.

15. The Quality Of Your Interactions Matter More Than The Quantity

When you are removed from the world of small talk, niceties, and forced friendliness, it soon becomes obvious that what matters is not the number of people you interact with, but the quality of those interactions.

That’s why it is better to have a small group of close friends whose company you genuinely enjoy, rather than a greater number of friends, many of whom may be little more than acquaintances.

16. Comparing Yourself To Others Is Futile

The curse of envy stems from your need to compare your life with those of your peers.

You idolize others, believing them to be blessed with a life far more satisfying than your own.

Yet, when you peel away and spend time by yourself, you realize that making comparisons is a futile exercise.

When you are alone, the lives of others become but faded fantasies and you feel less need to judge yourself by the perceived standards you have of others.

17. You Have Nothing To Prove

Not only should you refrain from making comparisons with others, you ought to drop any compulsion you might have to prove yourself worthy.

Again, it is in the solace of solitude that you come to appreciate just how little the opinions of others matter.

When there is nobody there to cast judgement on you, the need to assert your inner value to the world disappears.

18. Creativity Is The Gift Of A Quiet Mind

When surrounded by other people, it can be hard for your mind to perform at its best.

You become distracted and disinterested in tasks to the point where you are unable to utilize your full potential.

As soon as you put some distance between yourself and others – when you manage to find a small refuge of peace – your mind is free to dream up whatever it likes.

Thus, creativity flows more easily from the singular state than it does the connected one.

19. You Already Have The Answers To Most Questions

When you are by yourself, still, and able to engage in genuine contemplation, you find the answers to all sorts of questions.

Whatever doubts you’ve been wrestling with, escaping from the demands of other people frees up the energy to work on your own problems.

When you know the answers to life’s questions are already within you, and that they reveal themselves in moments of isolation, it comes as a great comfort.

20. Being Alone Is Better Than Being With Just Anybody

After spending time alone, you won’t look at friendships and relationships the same way again.

No longer will the company of just anyone do; you’ll find that you will prefer to be by yourself than spend time with those who you don’t really care for.

This also applies to situations and events that you don’t find appealing.

So, if you are an introvert, you might prefer to be alone than spend time at a party, even if close friends will be there.

21. Every Relationship Comes With Expectations And Pressures

Whether a friend, partner, or family member, every single interpersonal relationship generates its own expectations and pressures.

You may not be consciously aware of their existence, but they are there nonetheless.

It’s only when you are free to spend some time alone, and when you can notice the absence of these things, that you become aware of them in the first place.

22. Authenticity Requires Far Less Energy

Being truly alone means you can revert to your natural, totally authentic self.

During these times, it is plain to see how little energy is required.

In comparison, when you are being social, you inevitably act out a slightly different version of yourself and this takes a degree of effort.

Only in solitude, or in the company of those closest to you, do you really show your true self.

23. Human Interaction Is A Wonderful Thing

As nice as it is to spend some time alone, by doing so, you realize just how amazing it is to be able to enjoy life with other people.

You appreciate that we are social creatures who have the ability to form a whole greater than the sum of its parts.

You understand that a life of complete solitude would not provide quite the same zest and zeal as can be enjoyed in the company of others.

24. You Have To Be Selfish At Times

Perhaps more than anything above, spending time by yourself shows you that it is ok – even necessary – to put yourself first once in a while.

You may have responsibilities to others, but taking time out to relax and take care of yourself means you’ll be better able to meet those responsibilities.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.

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The Beauty of Spending More Time Alone With Yourself

“There’s nothing frightening about spending time alone with yourself; nothing frightening about spending time alone in silence.” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc

Do you know what I realized?

That even though so many people don’t enjoy spending time alone with themselves , and even though so many people are willing to do whatever it takes to avoid solitude, it is in those moments when we are alone with ourselves that we can connect with the deep side of us. It is in those moments of silence and solitude that we can get in touch with that part of us that knows our real worth, the reason of our existence and what we are meant to do in this world.

Spending Time Alone with Yourself

There’s nothing frightening about spending time alone with yourself, nothing frightening about spending time alone in silence.

There’s nothing frightening about knowing yourself, accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you truly are. Nothing terrifying about taking the time to get curious about your soul’s needs and desires, and about your heart’s dreams, intentions, and aspirations.

Solitude isn’t something that should scare us. On the contrary. Solitude is something that should excite us. Something that should bring joy and exhilaration into our hearts.

Because only by spending time alone with yourself can you discover what’s hidden deep within yourself. And only by spending time alone in silence can we discover the beauty, the light, the happiness and the unconditional love that’s hidden deep within each and every one of us.

Spending more and more time alone with yourself is priceless.

Spending More Time Alone With Yourself

“We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart… and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together…. I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.” ~ Helen Hayes (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

We live in a world that teaches us to look for love, for happiness, for approval and validation in all the wrong places. To look for all the things that deep down inside we know we are worthy of having and of receiving, outside of us but rarely or never within ourselves. And because of that, no matter how much we are given, and no matter we gather we never seem to have enough. We always want more, more and more.

Have you ever wondered why is that?

Have you ever wondered why is it that even though we make more money, build bigger houses, surround ourselves with more people and more of everything, we never seem to have enough?

“When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.” ~ Dalai Lama

What if life wasn’t really meant to be live this way? What if we weren’t meant to waste our entire lives always chasing something or someone?

What if our task here in this world is to love ourselves as much as we want the world to love us. And what if, through our actions and behaviors we are meant to inspire those around us to do the same?

What if you and I aren’t here to get love from one another, but rather to share the love, the beauty, the power and the happiness that is already present within us with one another? And what if you and I always were and always will be, whole and complete, overflowing with love and happiness and all the other things we are desperately seeking outside ourselves?

“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ~ Rumi

What if deep down inside, our prior condition is love, light, and happiness?

What if deep down inside, our prior condition is Love, Light, and Happiness; And what if we were never meant to look for these things outside ourselves – to be whatever everyone expected us to be, and constantly betray our own soul just so we can get a little bit of love, happiness, approval, and affection from those around us?

What if we got it all wrong?

What if life was never about being whatever everyone wanted us to be but rather about being the unique, authentic and precious beings we were born to be? And what if life was never about listening to the loud voice of those around us but rather of listening to the soft, quiet and wise voice that is present within each and every one of us?

“Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.” ~ Henry Winkler

This is what spending time alone with yourself, in silence does to you. It quiets the mind and it awakens the heart. It puts all your fears to sleep and it awakens the powerful and magnificent love that is present within you and within all of us.

The Sufi mystic and poet Rumi once said: “Silence is the language of god, all else is a poor translation.” and I have come to realize this to be true.

Spend time alone with yourself.

When you are alone, alone in silence, you allow yourself to hear God… to know God and to be alone with God. And when you do that, all kind of magical things start to happen and all of a sudden you understand what is meant by these words:

“They can’t say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ You see, the kingdom of God is within you.”” ~ Luke 17:21

It is all within you… love, joy, happiness, abundance, and contentment… it’s all within you, and the more time you spend alone with yourself in silence, the more it will be revealed to you. So take the time to know yourself, to spend time alone with yourself and to love yourself. Because only by loving yourself will you be able to truly and authentically love those around you.

What about you? What do you feel about spending time alone with yourself? I would really love to know your take on this so feel free to share away in the comments bellow.

~love, Luminita 💫

Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of PurposeFairy.com and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy . For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone

Learn the healthy aspects of solitude..

Posted January 31, 2012 | Reviewed by Matt Huston

People tend to equate solitude with loneliness, but there are many physical and psychological benefits of spending time alone.
Spending time alone gives a person the chance to clear their mind, focus, and think more clearly.
Setting aside time each day to "unplug" from devices can reduce distractions and contribute to productivity.

In today's constantly connected world, finding solitude has become a lost art. We tend to equate a desire for solitude with people who are lonely , sad, or have antisocial tendencies. But seeking solitude can actually be quite healthy. In fact, there are many physical and psychological benefits of spending time alone.

Benefits of Seeking Solitude

Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind. Constantly being "on" doesn't give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It's an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.
Solitude helps to improve concentration and increase productivity . When you remove as many distractions and interruptions as you can from your day, you are better able to concentrate, which will help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time.
Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice. When you're part of a group, you're more likely to go along with what the group is doing or thinking, which aren't always the actions you would take or the decisions you would make if you were on your own.
Solitude provides time for you to think deeply. Day-to-day responsibilities and commitments can make your to-do list seem as if it has no end. This constant motion prevents you from engaging in deep thought, which inhibits creativity and lessens productivity.
Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively. It's hard to think of effective solutions to problems when you're distracted by incoming information, regardless of whether the source is electronic or human.
6. Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others. By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you're more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you've spent some time alone.

How to Create Alone Time

Despite knowing these benefits, it can be a challenge to find time alone in a world that seems to never sleep. Here are a few ideas to help you find more time to spend with yourself.

Disconnect. Set aside some time each day to unplug from all the ways you connect with others. Turn off your cell phone. Don't use the internet. Turn off your TV. If you use your computer to create, such as by writing, then write without all the bells, dings, and beeps that come along with being connected to the internet. You'll be amazed at how much more you can get done when you're not distracted.
Get up or Get in Early. Wake up a half hour or an hour earlier than everyone else in your house, and use that time to create, produce, problem solve, meditate, or whatever makes you happy. This strategy also works if you can get to work before everyone else arrives and before the phones begin to ring.
Close Your Door. It's simple, but can be very effective. A client who owns a community-based magazine puts a sign on her door when she wants alone time. The sign reads "I'm editing or writing. If the police are here, the office is on fire, or George Clooney calls or stops by, you can interrupt me. If not, please hold all questions until my door opens." She said that she decided to put up the sign after she realized that her presence in the office was a stimulus for questions. "Whenever I was in the office," she said, "it seemed like there was one question after the next. I was constantly getting interrupted, and it was hard to get my work done. Then I noticed that on the days I was working on a story outside the office, my phone hardly ever rang, even if I was out the whole day. Apparently, whatever questions came up somehow got handled without me. It made me realize that just by being in the office, I was a magnet for questions. So I put up the sign, and it works like a charm."
Use Your Lunchtime. Don't spend your lunchtime working at your desk. Don't spend it running errands. And if you regularly go out to lunch, don't think that it always has to be with others. Once a week, or even just a couple of times a month, commit to spending lunch with yourself. Walk. Sit in the sun outside. Go to a park and eat. Enjoy the time you have alone.
Schedule Solitude. Literally. Mark off time in your day planner or calendar for spending alone with yourself. If you can make time for all the little extras you fit into your day, like stopping at Starbucks or picking up something at the mall, you can schedule time in your calendar for solitude. It doesn't have to be long. Any time that you can spend alone with yourself to reboot, meditate, focus, relax, create, produce, and/or think deeply is better than no time.

In my next post, " Why You Shouldn't Feel Guilty about Stealing a Little Time for Yourself ," I talk about ways to negotiate alone time with friends and family and how to avoid feeling guilty about it. And if you have effective strategies you use to steal a little time for yourself, please share them with readers in the comments section below.

Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D. , psychologist and author of "High Octane Women: How Superachievers Can Avoid Burnout," specializes in the area of women and stress.

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Importance Of Spending Time Alone Essay

Why Spending Time Alone Matters “The great omission in American life is solitude; not loneliness, for this is an alienation that thrives most in the midst of crowds, but that zone of time and space free from outside pressure which is the incubator of the spirit,” said Marya Mannes, an author and critic. We live in a world of constant contact—a place that’s losing sight of the art of solitude. Offices are abandoning cubicles in favor of shared desks and open common spaces. And rather than sitting at their desks working independently, school children are grouped. It seems that a never-ending “ping” has become our culture’s ubiquitous background noise, instantly informing us of every tweet, every tweet, and every notification. Even something as mundane as eating food has become over documented on Instagram. In fact, people have come to equate a desire for solitude with people who are lonely, sad, or have antisocial tendencies. One result of all this social connection is that many of us rarely spend time alone. However, solitude is not only good …show more content…

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A Balanced Psychology And A Full Life Analysis

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Clifford Stoll Isolated By The Internet Analysis

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More about Importance Of Spending Time Alone Essay

Do You Spend Enough Time With Other People?

By Shannon Doyne

Oct. 30, 2017

Do you think you have a good balance of time spent with others and time spent alone in your life? Does more of the time you spend with your friends happen in person or via social media and texts?

What, if anything, would you change about your social life if you could?

In the Opinion essay “ Happiness Is Other People ,” Ruth Whippman writes:

But while placing more and more emphasis on seeking happiness within, Americans in general are spending less and less time actually connecting with other people. Nearly half of all meals eaten in this country are now eaten alone. Teenagers and young millennials are spending less time just “hanging out” with their friends than any generation in recent history, replacing real-world interaction with smartphones. And it’s not just young people. The Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Time Use Survey shows that the average American now spends less than four minutes a day “hosting and attending social events,” a category that covers all types of parties and other organized social occasions. That’s 24 hours a year, barely enough to cover Thanksgiving dinner, and your own child’s birthday party. ... Study after study shows that good social relationships are the strongest, most consistent predictor there is of a happy life, even going so far as to call them a “necessary condition for happiness,” meaning that humans can’t actually be happy without them. This is a finding that cuts across race, age, gender, income and social class so overwhelmingly that it dwarfs any other factor. And according to research, if we want to be happy, we should really be aiming to spend less time alone. Despite claiming to crave solitude when asked in the abstract, when sampled in the moment, people across the board consistently report themselves as happier when they are around other people than when they are on their own. Surprisingly this effect is not just true for people who consider themselves extroverts but equally strong for introverts as well.

Students: Read the entire essay, then tell us:

— How do you feel about the amount of time spent—and the quality of that time—with other people? Is it enough? Would you prefer to have more or less time socializing? Why?

— Have you ever heard “happiness lies within”? What does that mean to you? Do you agree?

— The essay addresses the conflicting impulses to seek solitude and spend time with others. Have you ever felt torn between wanting to be alone and seeking the company of others? What conclusions have you drawn about which may work better for you?

— The essay also states that today’s teenagers are ”replacing real-world interaction with smartphones.” Do you feel that this is true? For comparison, ask people who are older than you about their habits of socializing when they were in their teens. What did you learn?

Students 13 and older are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public.

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The Psychological Benefits of Being Alone Free Essay Example
My Reason for Being Alone and Being Happy about It: [Essay Example
THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING TIME ALONE in 2021
37 ways to spend time alone
Why Spending Time Alone Will Change Your Life
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Spending Time Alone

COMMENTS

Essay About Being Alone: 5 Examples And 8 Prompts
Pros and Cons of Being Alone. While being alone has several benefits, such as personal exploration or reflection, time to reboot, etc., too much isolation can also have disadvantages. Conduct research into the pros and cons of alone time, and pick a side to create a compelling argumentative essay. Then, write these in your essay.
Being Alone: The Pros and Cons of Time Alone
Being Alone/Lonely Can Lead to Depression. Time spent alone and feeling lonely can lead to depression. In fact, studies now show that a lonely brain is structurally and biochemically different. When someone is lonely, their neural responses to positive images and events get suppressed, so the world is perceived through a negative filter.
Why You Should Find Time to Be Alone With Yourself
Enjoying the benefits of time alone isn't a question of being an introvert or extrovert, Dr. Nguyen said. More consistently, people who value solitude and who tend not to ignore their own ...
6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone
Spending time alone gives a person the chance to clear their mind, focus, and think more clearly. Setting aside time each day to "unplug" from devices can reduce distractions and contribute to ...
Things To Do Alone: The Benefits of Being By Yourself
While there are downsides to loneliness, evidence suggests that a certain amount of time alone is critical to well-being—especially as we get older. Doing things by yourself can increase your feelings of peace and solitude. It also helps you avoid the distractions, opinions, or influences of others.
How Important Is Alone Time for Mental Health?
However, alone time, which is sometimes called private time or solitary time and simply means spending time by yourself, is also good for you as it plays a positive role in mental health. Being around other people comes with rewards, but it also creates stress. You might worry about what people think or alter your behavior to avoid rejection ...
Benefits of Spending Time Alone
10) Enjoy time with someone awesome. And finally, it is a great idea to spend time on your own because you are awesome and spending time with someone awesome is a wonderful, exhilarating, amazing thing to be able to do. Spend time alone and celebrate you. Time by yourself can benefit you in so many ways plus making the time you spend with ...
How Good Are You at Spending Time Alone?
Be open to exploring new interests. Make space in your life and put in the time, even if it's just spending 30 minutes a week reading at a cafe. If you're just getting started, "take small ...
Do You Like Spending Time Alone?
Most of the time, the answer is no. The article also includes suggestions to prevent you from feeling lonely in solitude: Checking in with a friend can still be part of your solitude ritual, Ms ...
The Benefits of Spending Time Alone
It can also promote self-healing and its maintenance. For many people who are not going through major life issues, time to be alone also provides a relief from social pressures. The person may ...
Spending time alone in nature is good for your mental and emotional health
Alone time in nature can have a calming effect on the mind because it occurs in beautiful, natural and inspirational settings. Spending time in city parks like Audubon Park in New Orleans provides ...
Why I Spend Most of My Time Alone (And Have Very Few Friends)
Discover the unexpected benefits of spending time alone, differentiating solitude from loneliness, and nurturing meaningful friendships. A must-read for those looking to enhance personal growth ...
The Benefits Of Solitude: How To Be Happy Alone
However, there can be several benefits to being alone. You can learn more about your personality, improve your well-being, and work toward self-fulfillment by spending time alone. Understanding the benefits of solitude may give you hope and a sense of peace, even when you don't have others around you. Getty.
Solitude: The Importance and Benefits of Spending Time Alone
How to Spend Your 'Alone Time' You don't have to go to a cabin in the woods or fly all the way to Sri Lanka to learn how to spend time alone. All it takes is to integrate 10 minutes per day to be alone with your thoughts — and if that's too difficult to start with, I recommend you block out 10 minutes every Sunday evening for yourself.
We Are Meant to Spend Time Alone
Even animals that seem the most social spend a good deal of time alone. Many people have had the experience of being chased by a swarm of bees, but it seems safe to say more people have the ...
The Benefits of Being Alone
Being connected to people is important for your happiness and well-being, but it's also helpful to balance social time with taking time for yourself. Learning to be alone can give you space to think about your feelings, ideas, hopes, problems, and experiences. It's also a great opportunity to get to know yourself better and spend time ...
24 Important Things You Learn When You Spend Time Alone
8. Always Be Honest With Yourself. Beyond all the noise and distractions of everyday existence, when you sit silent in the company of your own thoughts, you are forced to confront the realities of your life. With nowhere to hide and nowhere to run, you come face-to-face with your demons, insecurities, and other issues.
The Beauty of Spending More Time Alone With Yourself
This is what spending time alone with yourself, in silence does to you. It quiets the mind and it awakens the heart. It puts all your fears to sleep and it awakens the powerful and magnificent love that is present within you and within all of us. The Sufi mystic and poet Rumi once said: "Silence is the language of god, all else is a poor ...
6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone
5. Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively. It's hard to think of effective solutions to problems when you're distracted by incoming information, regardless of whether the source ...
Importance Of Spending Time Alone Essay
Importance Of Spending Time Alone Essay. Why Spending Time Alone Matters "The great omission in American life is solitude; not loneliness, for this is an alienation that thrives most in the midst of crowds, but that zone of time and space free from outside pressure which is the incubator of the spirit," said Marya Mannes, an author and critic.
Do You Like Spending Time Alone With Your Thoughts?
One 2014 study found that, if left with no other option, people would shock themselves rather than sit alone with their thoughts. "Most people seem to prefer to be doing something rather than ...
I Believe in Spending Time Alone
We welcome student essays at any time. Q: How long should my students' essays be? A: Between 350 and 500 words, or about three minutes when read aloud at a natural speaking pace. Q: How do I submit my students' essays? ... Spending time alone helped me through my parents divorce and now I have a great step mom who I love.
Do You Spend Enough Time With Other People?
In the Opinion essay ... And according to research, if we want to be happy, we should really be aiming to spend less time alone. Despite claiming to crave solitude when asked in the abstract, when ...