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Childhood Memories Essay Examples

1. childhood memories essay prompt samples.

Before we embark on this journey down memory lane, let's first understand what a childhood memories essay entails. An essay prompt typically serves as your guiding star in crafting your piece. Here are a few samples to give you an idea of what to expect:

... Read More 1. Childhood Memories Essay Prompt Samples Before we embark on this journey down memory lane, let's first understand what a childhood memories essay entails. An essay prompt typically serves as your guiding star in crafting your piece. Here are a few samples to give you an idea of what to expect: "Write an essay about a significant childhood memory that shaped your character." "Describe a vivid childhood experience that left a lasting impact on your life." "Reflect on a cherished memory from your early years and discuss its significance."

These prompts serve as the foundation for your essay. They help you identify the core theme and purpose of your narrative.

2. Brainstorming the Perfect Childhood Memories Essay Topic

Now that you have a grasp of the prompts, it's time to brainstorm and select the most fitting topic for your childhood memories essay. Consider the following points:

• Emotional Impact: Think about memories that evoke strong emotions. These are often the most compelling stories.
• Life Lessons: Reflect on memories that taught you valuable life lessons or shaped your perspective.
• Vividness: Choose memories with vivid details and sensory experiences; they make your essay come alive.
• Uniqueness: Opt for memories that stand out or have a unique twist, avoiding overly common topics.

By considering these points, you can pinpoint a memory that not only resonates with you but also captivates your readers.

3. Examples of Unique Essay Topics

Now, let's explore some unique and captivating essay topics that revolve around childhood memories. These topics are sure to stand out from the crowd:

• "The Day I Discovered a Hidden Treasure in Grandma's Attic."
• "A Magical Encounter with a Friendly Stray Cat: My Childhood Confidant."
• "The Great Lemonade Stand Adventure: Lessons in Entrepreneurship."
• "An Unexpected Journey: Getting Lost and Finding My Way Home."
• "The Night Our Backyard Turned into an Enchanted Forest."

These topics offer a fresh perspective on childhood memories, ensuring your essay engages your audience from start to finish.

4. Crafting Inspiring Paragraphs and Phrases

To bring your childhood memories essay to life, you need to infuse it with captivating paragraphs and phrases. Here are some samples to inspire your writing:

"As I climbed up the creaky attic stairs, the dust danced in the sunlight streaming through the cracks. There, amidst forgotten relics of the past, I stumbled upon a weathered, leather-bound journal that held secrets from generations long gone." "The stray cat, with its fur as soft as memories themselves, became my confidant. We'd spend endless afternoons together, sharing secrets only a child and a feline friend could understand." "With a cardboard sign in hand and a heart full of dreams, I set up my first lemonade stand on that scorching summer day. The taste of success was as sweet as the lemonade itself." "As twilight descended, the stars emerged in our enchanted backyard. Fireflies danced, and the trees whispered secrets to my young ears, painting a canvas of wonder and magic."

Feel free to use these samples as a starting point for your own narrative. Remember, the key is to paint a vivid and emotional picture with your words.

With these insights, you're well on your way to crafting an outstanding childhood memories essay that will leave a lasting impression. Embrace the nostalgia, choose a unique topic, and let your words transport your readers back to your cherished moments of the past.

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Childhood Memories Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on childhood memories.

Memories are a vital component of our bodies. They shape our personality as all our knowledge and past experiences are stored there. All of us have memories, both good and bad. You have memories from long ago and also from recent times. Furthermore, some memories help us get by tough days and make us cheerful on good days.

Memories are the little things which help in running our lives smoothly. In other words, memories are irreplaceable and they are very dear to us. They help us learn from our mistakes and make us better. In my opinion, one’s childhood memories are the dearest to anyone. They help in keeping the child in you alive. Moreover, it also is a reason for our smiles in between adult life.

Importance of Childhood Memories

Childhood memories are very important in our lives. It makes us remember the best times of our lives. They shape our thinking and future. When one has good childhood memories, they grow up to be happy individuals. However, if one has traumatic childhood memories, it affects their adult life gravely.

Thus, we see how childhood memories shape our future. They do not necessarily define us but they surely play a great role. It is not important that someone with traumatic childhood memories may turn out to be not well. People get past their traumatic experiences and grow as human beings. But, these memories play a great role in this process as well.

Most importantly, childhood memories keep the inner child alive. No matter how old we get, there is always a child within each one of us. He/She comes out at different times.

For instance, some may act like a child on seeing swings; the other may get excited like a child when they see ice cream. All this happens so because we have our childhood memories reminding us of the times associated with the things we get excited about. Therefore, childhood memories play a great role in our lives.

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My Childhood Memories

Growing up, I had a very loving family. I had three siblings with whom I used to play a lot. I remember very fondly the games we use to play. Especially, in the evenings, we used to go out in the park with our sports equipment. Each day we played different games, for example, football on one day and cricket on the other. These memories of playing in the park are very dear to me.

Furthermore, I remember clearly the aroma of my grandmother’s pickles. I used to help her whenever she made pickles. We used to watch her do the magic of combining the oils and spices to make delicious pickles. Even today, I can sometimes smell her pickles whenever I look back at this memory.

Most importantly, I remember this instance very clearly when we went out for a picnic with my family. We paid a visit to the zoo and had an incredible day. My mother packed delectable dishes which we ate in the zoo. My father clicked so many pictures that day. When I look at these pictures, the memory is so clear, it seems like it happened just yesterday. Thus, my childhood memories are very dear to me and make me smile when I feel low.

Q.1 Why is Childhood Memories important?

A.1 Childhood memories shape our personality and future. They remind us of the good times and help us get by on tough days. Moreover, they remind us of past experiences and mistakes which help us improve ourselves.

Q.2 What can be a common childhood memory for all?

A.2 In my opinion, a childhood memory most of us have in common is the first day of school. Most of us remember what we felt like on the first day. In addition, our birthdays are also very common childhood memory that reminds us of gifts and celebrations on that day.

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Best Childhood Memories Essay Ideas: 94 Narrative Topics [2024]

Many people believe that childhood is the happiest period in a person’s life. It’s not hard to see why. Kids have nothing to care or worry about, have almost no duties or problems, and can hang out with their friends all day long.

Our specialists will write a custom essay specially for you!

An essay about childhood gives an opportunity to plunge into your memories. All you need to do is recollect those happy days and write a brilliant essay! In this article by Custom-Writing.org , you’ll find great tips and topic ideas to kickstart the process.

• 🔝 Top 10 Topics
• 💡 Coming Up with Ideas
• 🧸 Childhood Memories Essay Topics
• ✍️ Writing Examples & Guide
• 🔍 References

🔝 Top 10 Childhood Topics to Write About

• Your favorite holiday memory.
• Your brightest memories of winter.
• Your earliest school memory.
• Your first visit to a farm.
• What was your favorite toy?
• Do you remember your granny’s kitchen?
• Your childhood memories of your parents.
• Your best childhood friend.
• Things that you initially disliked at school.
• Experiments with physics in childhood.

💡 Coming Up with Childhood Memories Essay Ideas

Perhaps you got lost in your memories and cannot choose the best one to describe in your essay. Or maybe you have a bad memory and cannot recollect something specific to write about. If that’s the case, here are some recommendations for you.

Childhood Memories List: How to Write

Don’t know where to start? Try creating a list of your memories to decide which ones you need for your paper.

There are our top tips on making a childhood memories list:

• Write down everything that comes to your mind. What are some significant memories from your childhood? Every little experience starting with your earliest memory matters. Of course, you don’t need all of this information for your essay. Still, it will help your brain to start working in the right direction.
• Try to focus on specific things such as holidays, trips, or food. Everybody’s favorite childhood memories are often connected with them. Remarkable events also might include school, neighborhood, hometown, presents you received, and your achievements. Nostalgia is your best friend in this case.
• Divide your memories into categories. Good childhood experiences such as receiving a dream present or adopting a pet belong to one category. Life-changing events, key achievements, and unfortunate accidents can go into other categories.
• Try not to avoid bad childhood memories. It’s not the most pleasant thing in this task. But sometimes, writing about bad situations or challenges is a good strategic decision for your paper. It can also help your personal growth.

How to Remember Childhood Memories

What is your earliest memory? A frightening fall down the stairs? Or perhaps blowing candles on your second birthday? Whatever the content, it is probably short and vague.

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When we grow older, our recollections of early childhood become fragmentary . In fact, a profound memory loss occurs, which psychologists call infantile amnesia (you can learn more about it from the article “ New perspectives on childhood memory ”). Memories formed during early childhood are more fragile than those formed later in life.

That’s why it’s a great idea to write down our childhood recollections. This way, they’ll stay with us even after they lose their rich vividness and start to fade altogether.

Naturally, you can’t keep everything in your head. Some childhood memories will stay with you forever, while others vanish during your teenage years. Remembering something you have forgotten is not an easy task.

Here’s a way out: use this checklist to recall your childhood experiences:

Feeling completely out of ideas? Or maybe you can’t think of a specific topic? Keep reading to learn how to generate new ideas and write a great childhood memories essay.

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🧸 Childhood Memory Essays Topics List

Favorite childhood memory ideas.

• Meeting Santa at a mall
• A gift you’ve created yourself
• First time you stayed up all night
• Your first visit to an amusement park
• Your favorite children’s book or comic
• Your best childhood camping memory
• The craziest fact you’ve learned as a child
• Memory about winning a school competition
• What was the most fun school assignment?
• Your favorite food at the elementary school cafeteria

Early Childhood Memories Essay Topics

Kindergarten is often the place where kids start socializing for the first time. Think about your experiences with friends and teachers, as well as with your family. These topic ideas will help you get on the right track:

• The first day in kindergarten . Kindergarten is a new world for a child. It has an unfamiliar environment, new people, and rules. This essay can aim at discussing feelings and expectations that accompany a child on their first day.
• Describe the first pet you had in early childhood. Almost all families have a pet that they love. Often pets are given to children as presents. This essay can relate the best moments spent with a pet when you were little.
• A relative who was closest to you in early childhood. Every child has a family member with whom they enjoy spending time. It could easily be a parent, a grandparent, a sibling , or perhaps an uncle. Write about exciting moments related to your beloved relatives.
• Your first childhood hobby . Most people had hobbies when they were kids. This initial interest sometimes determines one’s future occupation. Here, you can describe the activities you used to do as a little child. Focus on the events associated with your first hobby.
• Festive events in kindergarten . During the whole year, people celebrate many holidays. Naturally, kindergartens hold festive events to amuse children. This essay can portray the unforgettable celebrations in kindergarten .
• Describe family gatherings from your childhood.
• A typical day in your kindergarten.
• What’s the first birthday celebration you remember?
• Activities or games in kindergarten .
• Your first Halloween costume.
• Things that you didn’t like in kindergarten.
• Write about your relationship with nature in early childhood.
• Describe a performance you took part in when you were little.
• What was the best teacher in your kindergarten like?
• Discuss the book or story you loved the most in early childhood.

Elementary School Memories Essay Topics

Would you like to look back at your elementary school days? This section is just what you need. Check out these ideas and get inspired:

• How you met your first teacher. Teachers lead children through a complicated yet exciting path. That’s why we all remember our teachers, especially the first day of meeting them. This essay can recount the brightest moments associated with this event. Additionally, you might describe the teacher’s appearance and personality .
• The most challenging lesson in elementary school. You can probably recall numerous lessons from your school years. This essay can aim at describing positive and negatives aspects of studies, as well as your favorite classes.
• Memories about extracurricular activities in school. It could be sports, artistic pursuits, or activities related to specific subjects. Describe your personal preferences and say who inspired you to start doing them.
• Celebration events at school. Celebrations create the brightest and most joyful memories. In this essay, you can share personal experiences about such events, be it school performances, shows, or games.
• Who was your best school teacher ? Describe the personalities of your favorite teachers and explain why you liked them.
• Write about a person who helped with school lessons .
• What did your first school building look like?
• Describe what you daydreamed about in school.
• Wonderful hikes or trips organized by the school.
• What were your plans for the future growing up?
• Write about going to a museum with your class.
• Memories of participation in school sports activities.
• Recall your participation in writing for a school newspaper .
• Did you take part in any important school activities or events?

Happy Childhood Memories Essay Topics

When writing about your childhood, you’d probably prefer recalling happy events rather than sad ones. But what if you don’t know which pleasant memory to choose? This list will help you make up your mind!

• The best birthday party ever. Recall the most exciting details associated with it. For example, describe some beautiful presents and a celebratory atmosphere.
• The day you’ve met your first love . Write about the impressions, feelings, and the most treasured memories associated with that day.
• Recall the best day spent with your childhood friend. Recount the activities and events that made you happy.
• The most significant achievement in childhood. Recall your achievements connected with the studies, sports, or arts. You can start by describing the task you’ve had, explain its importance, and thank the people who helped you.
• The day you made somebody happy . This essay can describe the instances where you helped others. What were your motivations, and why did it make you happy?
• Describe the best school gathering you can remember. Schools often organize parties where students can have fun. This essay can recount the circumstances and special moments related to such a party.
• Recall a fictional character you liked the most in childhood.
• Write about the best present you gave to someone when you were little.
• Describe the best surprise made by friends or relatives in childhood.
• The most wonderful journey or trip in childhood.
• A sad event that changed things for the better.
• What were the happiest summer holidays in your childhood like?
• Chronicle the day when your childhood dream came true.
• Write about your childhood fear and how you overcame it.
• Tell about getting a good grade for an important assignment.
• Describe the first home where your family lived.

Funny Childhood Memories Essay Ideas

Writing about a funny event is perhaps the best option you can choose. You’ll enjoy describing it, and your readers will appreciate you for making them laugh! Here are some prompts to kickstart the creative process.

• Recollect your childhood actions that make your relatives laugh. Children often behave in interesting, comical, and amusing ways. This essay can detail some fun moments that your parents remember.
• Amusing and funny moments in your favorite cartoons . You probably remember many great cartoons from your childhood. What made them funny? Do you still find them entertaining?
• The funniest pranks you did at school. If you were a mischievous child, this topic is for you. Recall various funny, elaborate, or even failed pranks you did at school.
• Describe the first time you rode a bicycle . Learning to ride a bike is a staple of many childhoods. It’s challenging, but once you master it, you will never forget how to ride it!
• What tricks used to help you pass difficult exams? Usually, students make cribs or copy someone else’s answers. You can describe more creative ways of passing exams.
• Poking fun at younger siblings . If you have brothers and sisters, you probably tease each other. How do you feel about such activities? Do you both have a good laugh, or did somebody get upset?
• Playing superheroes in childhood. Many children have favorite superheroes such as Batman , Spiderman, Ironman, and others. What were your personal favorites? Did you try to imagine you have superpowers?
• Describe the most ridiculous haircut you’ve had when you were little.
• Funny moments with your school teachers.
• Did you have an imaginary friend? What were they like?
• Trying to cook in childhood.
• What tricks did you use to hide bad marks from your parents?
• Attempts to renovate your childhood room.

Childhood Christmas Memories Topics

Christmas is the favorite holiday of many children. Were you one of them? Choose your essay title from this list on Christmas memories:

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• What is the best Christmas present from your childhood? Describe the present, the wrapping, and your emotions related to it. Why did you want it so much? You can also try to remember where this present is now.
• Describe a family Christmas trip that you enjoyed the most as a child. Answer the following questions. What were the new places you have seen? What were the new people you met? How much time did you spend there? Did you feel homesick? What did you feel when you returned home?
• What was your favorite pastime during the Christmas holidays in childhood? For example, you can write about watching cartoons or playing with your siblings. Or maybe you enjoyed winter sports and walking with your friends.
• Was Christmas your favorite holiday in childhood? Explain why or why not. Create a list of the things that you did and didn’t enjoy. You can also compare Christmas with other holidays. Find several arguments to defend your opinion.
• Describe the best Christmas present you gave somebody in childhood . It can be something you made yourself or bought. Explain why you chose this gift and what was the recipient’s reaction. What did you want to show with this present? Was it your idea to give it? How did you choose it? Answer these questions in your essay.
• What are your favorite Christmas memories ? You have a wide choice here. You can describe family get-togethers, receiving or giving presents, eating sweets, or having fun while resting from school.
• Describe your favorite childhood Christmas photo . Explain why it is so valuable to you. Define the people or objects in the picture. Try to remember who took it and what camera was they used. Also, provide some information about the time and place.
• Write about your family’s Christmas traditions .
• Describe your favorite Christmas decorations in childhood.
• When was the time you stopped believing in Santa Claus?
• What was your favorite Christmas movie in childhood?
• Write about the Christmas dishes did you enjoy the most as a child.
• What was your favorite Christmas TV special ?
• What were your favorite Christmas songs when you were little?
• Describe the perfect Christmas Eve of your childhood.
• Tell about the friends you liked to invite to your Christmas parties.

These recollections can form a great foundation for your essay. Because childhood is often the best time in a person’s life, writing essays on your childhood experiences can be a real pleasure. If you try to be creative and choose a unique topic, you are sure to succeed in writing an impressive essay.

✍️ “My Childhood Memories” Essay Writing Guide

Writing about your childhood is an exciting assignment that has some peculiarities. Let’s explore some of them.

Childhood Memories Essay: Dos and Don’ts

Your main task is to make the reader feel like they’ve experienced the memory you described. There are certain elements that you can include in your essay to make it stand out. Similarly, some things are better to avoid.

Keep these things in mind, and you will surely write a perfect composition.

Childhood Memories Essay: Step by Step

Follow these steps of the essay writing process, and you will see that writing a good essay on your childhood memories is not as challenging as it may seem.

Narrative Essay on Childhood Memories: Outline

Every essay must have a proper structure. That’s why it’s useful to make a short outline before you start writing. It will keep you from losing your way as you write your essay. It also saves you time! If you have a plan, you won’t miss any important points in your essay.

Your paper should include:

After you’ve finished writing, revise and edit your essay . Make sure your paragraphs are written in a logical order. Read your essay aloud so that you can see how it flows and determine where you need to improve it.

Try our memory-activating prompts and follow these writing tips to compose your perfect childhood memories essay! If you’re not sure that you can write a good paper on your own, you can always ask our experts to help you out.

Further reading:

• School Days Essay: How to Describe a Memorable Event
• Growing Up Essay: Great Ideas for Your College Assignment
• Writing Essay about Someone Who has Made an Impact on Your Life
• Excellent Remembering a Person Essay: Free Writing Guidelines
• Life Experience Essay: How to Write a Brilliant Paper

🔗 References

• The Fate of Childhood Memories: Children Postdated Their Earliest Memories as They Grew Older
• Can You Trust Your Earliest Childhood Memories?: BBC
• How to Start Writing Your Own Childhood Memories for Posterity: HobbyLark
• 650 Prompts for Narrative and Personal Writing: The New York Times
• Bright Side Readers Shared 14 Childhood Stories and We Plunged Into Their Memories Together: Brightside
• Great Questions: StoryCorps
• Introductions and Conclusions: University of Toronto
• Make a List: Childhood Memories: Practical Parenting
• Tips to Retrieve Old Memories: Harvard University
• Make the Most of Your Memory: 10 Tips for Writing About Your Life: Writer’s Digest
• Childhood Christmas Memories: DNA Explained
• What Do Your Earliest Childhood Memories Say about You?: The Conversation
• Can’t Remember Your Childhood? What Might Be Going On: Healthline
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Essays About Childhood Memories: Top 5 Examples

Our childhood memories are often some of the most cherished experiences of our lives, so if you are writing essays about childhood memories, you can start by reading our essay examples and writing prompts.  

Childhood is the period in our lives when we learn about our feelings, social skills, and the world around us. When we think of our childhood, we remember the years when we learn the most basic life skills, from being able to talk to the difference between “good” and “bad.”

Many fondly look back on their childhood memories, recalling when life was much more straightforward. They remember their parents, grandparents, favorite foods, friends, and essential experiences, among many other things. It is easy to imagine the idyllic, innocent life most of us had before, especially in our challenging times. 

If you want to write essays about your childhood memories, go over the essay examples, and writing prompts featured below. 

1. Happy childhood memories – and an old mix-tape by Séamas O’Reilly

2. favorite childhood memory by david dziegielewski, 3. a reflection of my childhood by shivani bajaj.

• 4.  I Would Have Liked Childhood More Without the Pressure to Grow Up by Jane Coaston

5. Lessons from my mother: A reflection on motherhood by GraceAnna Castleberry

1. your favourite childhood memory, 2. the importance of positive memories from childhood, 3. memories of your childhood home, 4. important figures from childhood, 5. the value of childhood memories, 6. childhood vs. adulthood, 7. childhood food memories.

“For the last few years I lived here, I was the same height as I am now, so why am I astonished at the low hang of countertops, or that I can catch my reflection in the mirror that hangs high on the wall? Sometimes peering at that tired, but devilishly handsome, man in the mirror evokes the same, bittersweet feeling of vertigo you get from visiting your old primary school, as you stand 3ft higher than you’re supposed to, like some befuddled Lemuel Gulliver.”

In his essay, O’Reilly reflects on his time visiting his father in his childhood house. He recalls his memories inside the house alongside his son’s experiences today and how they are similar. He also explains how pleasant it is to be in the house again, as it evokes warm, cozy memories of his upbringing. While much has changed about the house, every visit remains as nostalgic as ever.

You might also find these essays about camping trips helpful.  

“I always smile when I remember fishing with my Father. Many years have now since passed since those Saturday morning fishing trips. Time has taught me that the bond between Father and Son is what made those memories special to me. Now when I close my eyes I can remember those days since passed with joy and with a remembrance of the love I have for my Father.”

In this short essay, Dziegielewski describes memories of fishing with his father. He recalls every detail, from the fresh smell of the lake to the sound of a fishing bobber. Most importantly, however, he remembers how his father taught him the skill of fishing. This made him love his father, even more, allowing him to look back on these memories fondly.  You can also check out these essays about development .

“Water also drives many of our decisions — from the seafood we eat to our most romantic moments, and from where we live, to the sports we enjoy, and the ways we vacation and relax. We know instinctively that being by water makes us healthier, happier, reduces stress, and brings us peace.”

Bajaj recalls a memorable experience in which she dove into a deep pool after her mother had told her not to. She remembers the feelings of curiosity and excitement she felt and how despite her nearly drowning, she remembers that time happily. Reflecting on the memory, she also explains how water has helped her become more satisfied, peaceful, and happy. Our childhood memories shape us and provide us with the basis for the rest of our lives.

4.   I Would Have Liked Childhood More Without the Pressure to Grow Up by Jane Coaston

“I felt like I was given no time for trial and error. My choices were either to make the very selective local club soccer team or never play the sport again, be a genius or give up. Because being bad at anything was the worst possible sin I could imagine committing.”

Coaston writes about a more negative aspect of her childhood: the constant pressure to “not be a kid anymore.” She recalls several things expected of her, including having exceptional grades while being athletically gifted at the same time, with “no time for trial and error.” She feels everything was expected of her, and she did not have time to discover herself by making mistakes. She wishes parents would not rush their children along and let kids be kids for a while.  Check out these essays about growing up .

“I remember calling home once when I was spending the night at a friend’s house. I was homesick and just wanted to come back home. It was near midnight, but my mom drove over and picked me up. It was in these little moments that I especially felt loved. These were moments when I really needed my mom, and she was there for me. As a mother of a one-year-old now, I treasure these moments too.”

In her essay, Castleberry recalls her childhood memories involving her mother, including ones in which her mother entertained her and her friends and picked her up from a late night at a friend’s house. She remembers the small things her mother would do for her and how she was always there when she needed her. In raising her daughter, Castleberry strives to be the same mother that her mother was for her. 

7 Writing Prompts On Essays About Childhood Memories

Think back to one beloved childhood memory and retell the story in your essay. Then, describe all of the details you can recall, such as; who was involved, where the memory took place, what events transpired, and why it is such an important memory. Next, provide context by explaining the circumstances behind the memory, and most important of all, be sure to explain how this memory made you feel. Finally, use descriptive language to convey why this memory is your favorite.

Whether good or bad, people say childhood memories are crucial to who you are today. Why is this the case? In your essay, write about the value of keeping your childhood memories close. Then, write about any lessons you learned from them, and include a mix of supporting details from research and your opinions. 

Describe the home you lived in as a child- the layout, the neighborhood, the living conditions, and whatever else you can think of. Did you like it? Write about how it compares to your current home, and if you still live in the same place today, describe how it has changed from before and how it is similar. 

You can also write about a childhood figure who impacted you, such as one of your parents, grandparents, uncles, or aunts. Explain why you remember this person so well and the impact they have had on your life. For inspiration, you can look through an old photo album with photos of that person. 

Recall your childhood and think about this: overall, is it a childhood others would enjoy? Did you have a “good” childhood, or If there is anything, you can also include things you would change about your childhood you could. In this essay, delve into the value of your childhood memories and write about any that impacted your life for the better.

Compare yourself now to how you were back then. In most cases, much has changed; however, what similarities do you see between you now and in your childhood memories? If you wish to be more like “childhood you” in some ways, explain these as well. 

For a fun essay, write about your favorite food growing up. Include a brief description of how to prepare it and perhaps some of its history. What significance does this food have to you? You can also write about any memories you associate the dish with, as these might explain why you enjoyed that food so much. 

Grammarly is one of our top grammar checkers. Find out why in this Grammarly review .

If you are interested in learning more, check out our essay writing tips !

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Memories of my Childhood

This essay about the elusive nature of childhood memories discusses the author’s personal experience with not being able to recall early life events clearly. It explores the feelings of disconnection and envy towards others who can vividly remember their pasts, while also investigating the psychological phenomenon of childhood amnesia that makes early memories inaccessible for many. The text reflects on how this lack of memories impacts the author’s sense of identity, leading to a deeper appreciation for the present moment and the importance of living mindfully. Additionally, it touches upon the significance of shared stories from family and friends in bridging the gap left by personal memory gaps, suggesting that identity can be shaped by more than just individual recollection. Through this exploration, the essay offers insights into the complexity of memory and identity formation.

How it works

Childhood memories often stand as a foundation upon which we build the narrative of our lives. These early experiences, theoretically, should shape our preferences, fears, and personalities. However, what does it mean for one’s sense of self if these memories are not just blurred but seemingly non-existent? This contemplation leads me into the depths of my own recollections, or the lack thereof, as I grapple with the realization that my childhood memories are not as accessible or vivid as they seem to be for others.

The phenomenon isn’t as rare as one might assume. Conversations with peers often lead to a shared sense of bewilderment when topics of early memories arise. It’s not a matter of traumatic experiences blocking these memories but rather a gentle haze that obscures them. This fog doesn’t discriminate by the emotional weight of the memory. Both mundane and momentous events lie beyond my cognitive reach, leaving me to wonder about the texture of my early life experiences.

The absence of these memories prompts a peculiar form of envy when I observe others recounting their childhood with clarity and affection. There’s a certain richness to their narrative of self that seems to be missing from my own. Yet, this absence also forces a different kind of introspection. It propels me to question the role of memory in shaping identity. If memories are the building blocks of our personal narratives, what happens when those blocks are missing? Are we less ourselves, or does it simply compel us to anchor our identity in the present more firmly?

The search for answers leads to an exploration of the mechanisms of memory. Memory is not a video recorder accurately capturing every moment of our lives. It is selective, reconstructive, and often fallible. Childhood amnesia, the term psychologists use to describe the general absence of memories from our early years, affects most people to varying degrees. Understanding this phenomenon sheds light on the commonality of my experience, offering comfort in the realization that the fog is a universal aspect of human memory.

This understanding prompts a shift in perspective. Instead of mourning the absence of these memories, I begin to view it as an invitation to a different kind of mindfulness. The present becomes not just a moment passing into the fog of memory but a space of acute awareness and appreciation. The relationships and experiences of now gain a heightened significance, serving as the vivid colors in the tapestry of my narrative.

Moreover, this contemplation of memory and identity brings to light the importance of shared stories. In the absence of personal memories, the stories told by family and friends become precious threads connecting me to my past. These narratives, while not remembered firsthand, form a mosaic of my early years, offering glimpses into the child I once was. They serve as reminders that while my personal recollection may be foggy, my existence in those moments was real and impactful.

In the end, the exploration of my absent childhood memories reveals a rich landscape of understanding and acceptance. It highlights the complexities of memory, the fluidity of identity, and the profound beauty of the present moment. While the early chapters of my life may remain hidden in the fog, the journey of discovery they have prompted illuminates the path forward with a newfound appreciation for the stories we live and those we tell.

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Essay on Childhood Memories in 400 Words

• Updated on  
• Dec 8, 2023

‘We all have lovely childhood memories, which were part of our development stage. Childhood is the most precious time of our life when we have no worries about school, career, or life. All we enjoyed was playing and eating delicious food.’

‘One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is to have a happy childhood.’ – Agatha Christie

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‘We all loved summer vacations, where we were allowed to enjoy a month-long vacation with our friends and families. However, a beautiful and fun childhood doesn’t determine a prosperous future. Diving into nostalgic childhood memories is something we all enjoy.’

Remembering little things like running wild on grass, flying kites, playing marbles, sliding on the seesaw, etc. reminds us of those good old memories. Family gatherings and celebrations form a tapestry strand, remembering the joy and togetherness. The smell of grandmothers’ home-cooked meals passing through my nostrils, the sound of relatives sharing anecdotes, and the sparkle in the eyes of grandparents imparted a sense of belonging and continuity. These gatherings served as anchors in the tumultuous sea of life, reminding us of our roots and the importance of human connection.’

Bedtime stories are one of the treasured memories of our childhood, where secrets were whispered under the twinkling lights. The rustle of pages turning in a favorite storybook, the comfort of a soft blanket, and the reassuring presence of a parent reading aloud – these moments were the alchemy that transformed ordinary nights into magical adventures. The tales became not just narratives but a source of moral compass, imparting lessons that lingered far beyond the pages.

‘When we are old and failing, it is the memories of childhood which can be summoned most clearly.’ – Dan Simmons

However, childhood memories are not immune to the bittersweet tinge of nostalgia. The fleeting nature of time becomes palpable as we grow older, and the places and faces that once defined our world may change or fade away. The innocence of our youth is a fragile bloom that caves to the relentless march of time.

Childhood memories are priceless experiences, which play an important role in shaping our character and contributing to the mosaic of our lives. Nostalgia, the sentimental longing for the past, is a testament to the enduring impact of those formative years. As we navigate the complexities of adulthood, the allure of revisiting the playgrounds of our youth and the warmth of familial embraces becomes a poignant journey, a celebration of the innocence that once defined us.

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100 Words Paragraph on Childhood Memories

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Ans: We all get lost in childhood memories, as those were some golden days of our lives. We all remember our childhood friends, the games we played, family gatherings, and so many other beautiful memories. This young time of life is cherished by everyone, as it laid the foundation of our character. Our childhood was full of joy and happiness, without worrying about the lengthy and boring homework and any other work-related problems. It was the time of vacations, family picnics, trips and other outings with our loved ones.

Ans: Childhood memories are the golden days of our lives. Childhood days are priceless. We all love to dive into those nostalgic memories. Childhood is an important part of our lives. Childhood memories full of joy and happiness don’t guarantee a prosperous future. As a child, we all think of our futures, and now, it’s the opposite.

Ans: A person can recall their childhood memories by trying to remember sensory information or perceptions they may have had at the time, such as: looking at old photographs and videos; revisiting childhood places, like playground, grandmother’s house, etc.; taking therapies, etc.

For more information on such interesting topics, visit our essay writing page and follow Leverage Edu .

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This powerful essay about a painful childhood memory got a student into 14 colleges including Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton

Flickr/Paul Sableman

Soa Andrian went personal, and it paid off.

Recent Harvard University graduate Soa Andrian used one of her childhood memories as a jumping-off point on her college admissions essay.

She told the story of a visit to Antananarivo, Madagascar, where she has relatives, and of an impending incident of bullying. A deeply personal story, at first she was going to write about something a little less private.

"My original common app essay was about a poster presentation I made at a summer program and what I learned about being less shy," Andrian said via email to Business Insider. "But it felt disingenuous. I think it felt disingenuous because I wrote what I thought admissions committees would want to see - a little humility by sharing an insecurity, but a small one that ultimately was easy to overcome."

Ultimately, she wrote about her more personal experience, and it certainly paid off. In addition to Harvard, she gained acceptances to Brown University, UChicago, Columbia, The University of Florida, Johns Hopkins, the University of Miami, MIT, Northwestern, UPenn, Princeton, Rice University, Stanford, and WashU.

Andrian's other impressive stats are included on her Admitsee profile . AdmitSee is an education startup that has 60,000 profiles of students who have been accepted into college with their test scores and other data points for prospective students to browse.

Andrian graciously shared her admissions essay with Business Insider, which we've reprinted verbatim below.

Four boys stood above me on a pile of garbage. Their words, "Bota, bota, matava" - "chubby", "fatty" suffocated me:

A familiar sensation of frustration and hurt gripped me. Looking for defense I only saw a cinderblock at my feet, impossible for my eight year old body to heave, so, I screamed in English:

"You are just jealous that you are poor and I am American!"

As the words flew out of my mouth, I knew I was wrong - there was no sense of triumphant satisfaction. I abruptly turned and ran into the refuge of my aunt's home.

Upon finishing a tearful narrative to my aunt and father, I preferred the comfort of the former's arms. I avoided my father's disappointment: I knew as well as he did, that I was not the victim.

Later, my hysteria subdued and guilt temporarily forgotten, I ventured outside to explore the crevices of Antananarivo. The boys were still playing atop the rubbish, then seeing me, scrambled off their mountain and ran in the opposite direction.

It's okay, I thought, I wouldn't be a fan of me either.

As I began walking up the street, I heard shouts:

"Wait, wait!"

The boys caught up to me and proudly waved hundred ariary bills in my face. In their broken English, they said in earnest and without malice,

"Look! We are not poor! We have money! We are Amreekan too!"

I agreed they were right and smiled sadly: one US dollar was the equivalent to seven thousand Malagasy ariary.

I was made sharply aware of what separated me from these children: oceans, experience, money. Politics, ignorance, the apathy of millions. Ironically, it was also the first time I belonged to my "motherland". I could share in the simple joy of relishing what "is", be proud of the sense of resourcefulness engendered by scarcity.

This memory has woven itself into my philosophy and my dreams. The very personal knowledge that millions live in a way such that electric toothbrushes are an unfathomable luxury (my cousin, Aina), has given me the following personal rules:

• Education is an opportunity, not a burden;
• You always have enough to share.

While I may not be certain of my future, I know for certain that I want to serve. I realize that service is as important an aspect of education as is academic work. I know this passion will follow me throughout my life and manifest itself in my actions at Harvard. This memory is a mandate to serve indiscriminately and without prejudice towards those I work with. I am all the more willing to cooperate to bring improvement to the community within the College and beyond the campus. I can bring innovation in problem solving born out of the deep desire to help others. I work for these boys, for all the proud Malagasy (and even those who are not proud to be Malagasy), and the children who cherish "what is" instead of mourning "what could be".

NOW WATCH: FORMER WALL STREET EXEC: Trump's presidency 'may be one of the best things that's ever happened for feminists'

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Narrative Essay on Childhood Memories

Childhood memories are the treasures of our past, vividly painting the innocence, adventures, and joy of our early years. These memories, both sweet and bittersweet, form the mosaic of our identity, influencing who we become. This essay delves into the essence of childhood memories, exploring their impact and significance through a personal journey back in time.

The Magic of Childhood

Childhood: a period of life where every day feels like a new adventure, filled with curiosity and wonder. My childhood was no different. It was a time when the smallest things felt like grand discoveries, from finding a caterpillar in the backyard to the first time I rode a bike without training wheels. These moments, though seemingly small, are monumental in the eyes of a child. They represent growth, learning, and the boundless joy of living.

A Journey Back in Time

One of my most cherished memories takes me back to my grandmother’s house, a quaint cottage nestled in the heart of the countryside. It was a place out of a storybook, surrounded by lush gardens and towering trees that whispered secrets with the wind. My summers there were filled with endless days of exploration, from the crack of dawn until the stars claimed the sky.

The Garden Adventures

The garden was a magical realm where imagination had no bounds. My cousins and I would embark on epic adventures, pretending to be explorers in a mystical land. We built forts out of branches and leaves, declaring them castles of ancient times. The garden was our kingdom, and in it, we were invincible. The laughter and shouts of our play still echo in my mind, a reminder of the carefree joy of youth.

Lessons Learned

Amidst the fun and games, childhood also presented its set of challenges and lessons. I recall a particular rainy day when our garden escapades led to a muddy disaster. Our clothes were stained, and the indoors became a canvas for our muddy footprints. The scolding that followed taught us the importance of responsibility and the consequences of our actions. Yet, even in that moment of admonition, there was love and the gentle guidance towards making better choices.

The Power of Friendship

Childhood is also a time when friendships are formed, bonds that often last a lifetime. I met my best friend under the most unusual circumstances, a mishap during a school play where a missed cue turned into a comedy of errors. Instead of embarrassment, we found laughter and a friendship that stood the test of time. It was through these friendships that I learned the value of trust, support, and the sheer joy of having someone to share life’s moments with.

As the years passed, the innocence of childhood gradually gave way to the responsibilities of adulthood. The endless days of play were replaced by schedules and commitments. Yet, the memories of those carefree days remain, a beacon of light guiding me through life’s challenges. They remind me to find joy in the simple things, to approach life with curiosity, and to cherish the bonds formed in the innocence of childhood.

Childhood memories are more than just moments of the past; they are the foundation upon which we build our future. They teach us lessons, shape our values, and influence our paths. As I reflect on my journey through childhood, I am grateful for the experiences that shaped me, the challenges that strengthened me, and the joy that filled my days. These memories are a precious gift, a reminder of a time of innocence and wonder that continues to inspire and guide me as I navigate the complexities of adulthood.

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My Childhood Memories Essay - 100, 200, 500 Words

• Essay on My Childhood Memories -

Memories are one of the most important things we cherish throughout our lives. All our knowledge and previous experiences are stored there, so they build our personality. Memories can be good or bad. There are memories from the distant past or the more recent past. In times of crisis, we can refresh ourselves by recalling good memories.

100 Words Essay on My Childhood Memory

200 words essay on my childhood memory, 500 words essay on my childhood memory.

Childhood memories always bring smiles to our faces because of the innocence that lies within them. People feel happy when they think about and discuss these memories.

One of my strongest childhood memories is playing in the park with my best friend. We would spend hours there, running and playing on the swings and slides. The sun would beat down on us as we giggled and chased each other, and our laughter echoed in my mind even now. We would also play games of tag and hide and seek and always have fun. I remember feeling so carefree and happy in those moments, with no worry. These memories of playing in the park with my best friend bring back feelings of pure joy and innocence, and I will always treasure them as some of my fondest childhood memories.

Memory is an interesting and important part of our lives. When I look back on my childhood, I recall many stories. Some make me happy, and others help me learn and grow.

Summer At My grandparents

One of my fondest childhood memories is spending summers at my grandparents' house in the countryside. The lush green fields and tall trees surrounded the house, and I loved going on adventures with my cousins through the fields and woods. We would spend hours playing hide and seek, building forts, and catching fireflies at night.

My grandfather was always around, tending to the garden or working on some new project. He taught me how to fish in the nearby stream, and we would spend hours together on the bank, chatting and enjoying the peaceful surroundings.

The days at my grandparents' house seemed to stretch forever, filled with laughter and joy. The house was always filled with the scent of fresh baked goods, and my grandmother would spend hours in the kitchen whipping up delicious meals. I will always treasure these memories of spending time with my grandparents and cousins in the peaceful countryside. They are a reminder of the simple joys in life and make me grateful for the people and experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today.

Childhood memories are an essential part of our life. The happiest, most incredibly unforgettable childhood memories are the ones that are hard to forget. The best part of childhood is spending it with other children. Childhood memories are the sweetest of all memories; they are a collection of happy moments that stay with us forever.

There are many memories that I have forgotten, but there are some that I can easily recall. Those are golden memories, and time has become precious. Childhood is the most exciting and beautiful time in our life. We were at a stage in our life free from worries and problems.

Why do childhood memories matter?

Childhood memories play an important role in our lives. They shape our destinies and our outlook on life. What a person learns as a child usually stays with them. From childhood, he is taught the importance of discipline, punctuality, ethics and values, and then these values will accompany him throughout his life. Childhood memories are strongly influenced by family and its values, experiences, and interests. They often reflect a child's early ability to remember things.

They range from the mundane to the elegant, the funny to the touching, but most of them are vague and elusive, often irrelevant, and sometimes downright unnatural.Childhood memories shape one's identity and provide comfort and familiarity. They also serve as a source of nostalgia, reminding us of happy times and special moments that bring joy and a feeling of connection to the past. They also help us understand our family history, cultural background, and experiences that have shaped us into who we are today.

My Childhood Memory

One of my most memorable childhood memories is playing with my friends in my neighborhood. I grew up in a small village surrounded by lush green trees and rolling hills. My friends and I would spend hours exploring the woods, building forts, and playing games. We were always outside, regardless of the weather, and we never seemed to run out of things to do.

One of our favorite games captured the flag. We would divide into two teams, each with their own flag that they would hide. The game's objective was to capture the other team's flag and bring it back to your base without getting tagged. The games would last for hours and were always filled with laughter, screams, and running.

Another memory I have is of baking cookies with my grandmother. She lived next door to us, and every time we visited, she always had some baked treat waiting for us. My sister and I would help her mix the ingredients, roll out the dough, and cut out the cookies. Then, we would watch as they baked to perfection in the oven. The smell of freshly baked cookies would fill the entire house, and it was a smell I would always associate with my grandmother.

These memories are special to me because they represent my childhood's carefree and joyful times. They remind me of the importance of spending time with loved ones and enjoying the simple things in life. I am grateful for these memories and how they bring a smile to my face every time I think about them.

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• Childhood Memories Essay

Essay on Childhood Memories

Memories are one of the most crucial things we can cherish throughout our lives. They build up our personality as all our knowledge and previous experiences are stored there. Memories can be both good and bad. There are memories either from long ago or from the recent past. In our critical times, we may get some refreshment by recalling our memories. We can run our lives smoothly with the help of these memories. Memories help us in many ways. We can rectify ourselves from past mistakes. Childhood memories are treasured by all of us. They make us smile even in our old age. 

Importance of Childhood Memory:

Childhood memories are very significant in our lives. We can recall the best times of our lives. Childhood memories build up our future and way of thinking. People with good childhood memories are happy people. On the other hand some bad childhood memories also affect the future of an individual. 

The things a person learns during childhood remain as important lessons and memories for life. It applies to things like family and society values, morals, learning the importance of friendships and being respectful to adults. Without learning proper manners, people can become reckless and take unnecessary risks in life. 

Childhood memories are also strongly related to good habits such as proper discipline and cultivating the proper attitude in life. These values, which are very important for success in adult life, cannot be learnt overnight at a later stage. 

A childhood memory definitely does not define anyone but they play a pivotal role in one’s life. It is not necessary that a person with good memories always lives a prosperous life while a person with bad memories always lives a hazardous life. Sometimes, ghastly childhood memories make a man stronger. 

Nevertheless, it can be said that the inner child is kept alive by childhood memories. There is always a child inside every person. It may come out all of a sudden at any stage in life. It may also be expressed every day in the little things that we enjoy doing. 

Our inner child is especially seen when we meet our  childhood friends. Regardless of how grown up we think we are, we go back to kids the moment we are with old friends. Memories also take up the bulk of our conversation when we meet old friends after many years. The trip down memory lane is bittersweet as we long for a time we will not get back but also cherish its joy. 

Some may be excited about seeing swings, some may act like a child when they see panipuri. The reason behind the facts is we are reminded by our childhood memories every time. The same happens when we enter the children’s play park and are reminded of our favourite rides. It is even more so when we ate ice cream or our favourite ice candy when we were 5 years old.  Hence, childhood memories play a very vital role in our lives. 

My Childhood Memories:

I was born and brought up in a very adorable family. I have grown up with my elder brother with whom I used to play a lot. I remember each and every game we used to play together. Every moment is very precious to me. In the afternoon, we used to play cricket in our nearby ground. The memories of playing in the ground together are mesmerising. 

Another beautiful thing I can remember is flying kites. It used to be one of the most exciting things of my childhood. Even the older members of the family participated with us. We used to fly kites on our terrace. The kite-flying programme would last for the entire day.

Another beautiful thing I can remember is my visit to the zoo with my family. We made one zoo visit every year. They used to be those very simple yet fun-filled family picnic moments. We would carry packed food from home that my mother used to cook. My elder brother would click several photographs of us. When I look at those pictures now, the memories come alive. Today, so many things have changed but my childhood memories are still fresh in my heart. It feels so refreshing to relive them again and again. My childhood memories are very close to my heart and make me smile on my difficult days.

Perhaps the time I remember very fondly was going to swimming classes. I have always loved playing in the water, and swimming in clear pools was always an exciting activity. Even though I loved the water, at first I could not swim as I was not aware of the basics of the sport. Slowly, as I learnt to kick and paddle, it became easier to swim in shallow water. The big test was swimming in deep water as it was a terrifying thought and simultaneously exciting. I still remember the day I decided to let go of my fears and dived into the deep end of the pool. The instant I jumped into the water, the fear was gone, and I swam like a fish to the other end of the pool. That day also taught me a valuable lesson about taking the first step in any daunting task. 

Conclusion: 

We should all cherish our childhood memories as they can always be our companion, our “bliss of solitude.” Simple things hold grave meaning when they are from their childhood days. The days were free of complexities and full of innocence. Hence, they are so close to heart.

FAQs on Childhood Memories Essay

1. How to write a childhood memory essay?

The most important thing you will need to write this essay is about great childhood memories! You will have to look back in time and remember all the good and bad things that happened to you. As you get older, your memories will also change in their context as you change as a person. Like all essays, this should also have a steady narrative of the events from your childhood. You can choose to write only about the best memories you have or choose to write them as they occur. Some of the best things to write are topics such as your friends, your favourite games, and all the vacations you have been on and all the experiences you had in school.

2. How would you describe your childhood memories?

The older you get, the more the bits and pieces of your memory begin to fade or change. The best way to write about your childhood memories is to close your eyes and remember them. Then you have to start writing the events as they occurred without giving them context. Once the essay is written, the stories and events can be arranged as per the requirements of the essay. You can choose to describe your memories in any light you feel.

3. Why are childhood memories important?

Our childhood memories have a significant influence on who we are. People with mostly happy memories tend to be more relaxed with a positive outlook on life. People who have had traumatic memories tend to be more cautious and cynical in life. People can still change with positive or negative experiences in life. However, our childhood influences stay with us for the rest of our lives and can sometimes even come into conflict with the better choices we want to make. Therefore having childhood memories is a good reference to understanding ourselves and why we behave in certain ways.

4. What could be a common childhood memory for everyone?

Everybody remembers their “first-time” experiences in life. It could be things like the first day of school, the first time visiting a zoo, the first time taking a flight in an aeroplane, having a bad experience, etc.

Childhood Memories Essay

Recalling childhood memories lead us to experience the feelings of our old days. These childhood memories are such that they last forever. Some memories help us to recall the pleasant moments of our life. But, some of the memories scare us because we have both good and bad experiences in our childhood. These childhood memories help us to go through the tough days of our lives in a happy and cheerful manner. They give strength to overcome difficult situations and fight against them. This essay on childhood memories will help students to write an effective essay. After going through this article, they can describe their childhood memories in a better way. For more CBSE essays , students must practise essay writing on different topics.

500+ Words Essay on Childhood Memories

We all remember our childhood friends, interesting incidents relating to them, our family members, relatives, and so many other things. Childhood is a lovely time that everyone remembers. It is the period that everyone cherishes as this builds our foundation when we are growing. In our childhood, we were carefree and innocent. We don’t know what jealousy is and have no complexes regarding ourselves and others. It was time for play, studies and vacations. We were gorging on our favourite food without any restrictions, playing pranks on our siblings, and supporting our siblings when we had to face the wrath of our parents. Those days won’t come back, but we can remember those childhood memories.

My Childhood Memories

I have a lot of childhood memories. Here, I will be sharing the one which is the most memorable to me. In my childhood, we used to go to my grandparents’ house at least once a year. We mostly visit my grandparents’ house during my school summer vacation. My grandparents live in a small village which is located near Kanpur city in Uttar Pradesh. I wake up early in the morning and go to the farmhouse. Near the farmhouse, we have farming land, where various crops are grown. By that time in the summer, the crops are ready to harvest. I love to see the harvesting process. In the farmhouse, I get prepared by taking a bath in the running water of the tubewell. I love that moment. The cold water and fresh air refresh my mind, and it starts my day full of positive energy.

My grandmother cooks the food in the traditional style by using the “Chulha”, a U-shaped mud stove made from local clay. I love the taste of cooked food. It’s so delicious and yummy. Also, during summer, my grandmother made papad, pickles of mango and green chilli. I just love eating them. We also have one cow and two buffaloes in the farmhouse. Due to this, there is a lot of milk and curd available in my house. It’s my duty to make Lassi, and we drink it every day after having lunch. At night, we sleep on the terrace to feel cool during summer. All my cousins gather at the terrace, and we enjoy it together. Everyone drinks a glass of milk before going to sleep.

Another naughty incident that I remember from my childhood was when I was studying at LKG. My parents had gone for a walk after having dinner at night. They informed me that they would be coming back soon, so I should not lock the door from the inside. I was watching the TV and said ok. After some time, I went to the kitchen to have a glass of water, and I locked the main door. I didn’t realise when I slept while watching the TV. My parents came, and they kept knocking on the door. I didn’t get up, and they had to be outside the home for the whole night. They went to the neighbours’ house and stayed there. In the morning, when I got up, I opened the door and called my parents.

Childhood is the best part of everyone’s life. Childhood memories give us different kinds of experiences. Whatever we have learned in our childhood lasts for a long time. Some experiences are joyful, while some help us learn lessons. These lessons give us the strength to stay positive in life even when situations are not in our favour.

Students must have found this essay on “Childhood Memories” useful for improving their essay writing skills. They can get the study material and the latest update on CBSE/ICSE/State Board/Competitive Exams at BYJU’S.

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Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person

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Essay on Childhood Memories

Childhood is the most beautiful and loved phase in human life. Nothing is more beautiful than living a childhood and then remembering every detail of it. That’s why it is often wished that a person can live forever as a child living his childhood.

Adults have the nostalgia for their childhood memories, friends, dreams, etc. The most beautiful part of childhood is that a person is innocent, he does things with a pure heart and he does not think about anything twice. Time flies by living childhood by playing, laughing, and growing. 

In this article, we’ll talk about the memories of childhood in 4 sets of different essays of 150, 250, 350 and 500 words. The essays provided are in easy and simple language for the kids, students, and children to understand and improve their writing skills.

Table of Contents

Essay on Childhood Memories 150 Words

Childhood is the best part of human life. I am living my childhood right now. What I love the most about this phase of my life is that my parents don’t scold me for anything and I can play all the time. I have the memories of the time when I was small, I used to play with my elders in my building.

Everybody loves me in my apartment because I am the youngest member. My parents give me everything I want. We all go to our grandparents’ home on every occasion/event. A man’s mind never stops about asking things in their childhood. It’s very curious and willing to explore different things about people and the world.

As kids, we imagine that everything is possible and anything we want has an infinite number of certainties to happen. Childhood is a period of intense muscular and physical growth. This phase shapes our mind and increases our intellectual skills. I love my childhood. 

Essay on Childhood Memories 250 Words

Childhood is a period of growth and entertainment. Adults and the old aged people have so many memories related to their childhood. During the childhood phase, a person experiences physical and intellectual growth. It results in the better growth of the overall performance of the person in life. This phase shapes our mind and increases our intellectual skills.

A person can live freely and carefree only in his childhood because he has a sense of freedom and he knows that his parents are there for him if something goes wrong. I miss my childhood. I didn’t realise the most important part of my life was going away while I was growing up. Now I pass my time in school studying and after getting home completing the homework.

The time period of childhood is short lived, a person cannot live that phase for a long time because as we grow up we carry certain responsibilities with us that we need to look upon. Growth is essential for living but so is living to the fullest.

Childhood is the best time where an individual can enjoy freely and create memories that he will remember forever. That’s why it is often said that “Childhood means simplicity. Look at the world with the child’s eye – it is very beautiful.” There are many memories related to my childhood.

One of the happiest memories of my childhood was going swimming with my cousins and going to adventurous places with my father. I love all those memories and they will always stay alive in my heart. 

Essay on Childhood Memories 350 Words

Childhood is one of the most beautiful phases of human life. It is remembered by everyone. Some people might have a bad childhood because of the traumas that happened back in their past when they were too young to face them. However, it is the most important and beautiful thing in our lives.

There is a famous quote stating that “I spent my whole childhood wishing I were older and now I’m spending my adulthood wishing I were younger.” — Ricky Schroder. He was wishing to turn back time and go back to his childhood days. It is the period of drastic growth and development. We develop our taste in this period according to our choices.

There is an overall development of our personality and IQ. Our brain shapes itself in a way that we want to become. Growth is essential for living but so is living to the fullest. Childhood is the best time where an individual can enjoy freely and create memories that he will remember forever.

With the growing age, we lose this part of ourselves and remember it just in pieces of memories. Some of the best memories I have of my childhood is when I used to play volleyball with my dad. I miss playing with him so much, the only memory I have of my dad is playing volleyball and cricket with him. I embrace my childhood by missing these little pieces of joy.

I always keep them alive in my heart. Most people have a clear image of their time spent during their childhood. The people remember those times and it gives them warmth and a sense of happiness. In my childhood, I always waited for summer vacation impatiently. I lived to the fullest in those two months.

I used to wake up at 5 am to play cricket with my friends and then I used to fly kites in the afternoon. I never slept at noon. I remember my father gave me Play Station 4 and I used to play with it the whole evening. My family used to take me on an outing for a week or two. I loved the adventures and fun activities with them. 

Essay on Childhood Memories 500 Words

Every person has one or the other stories to tell related to their childhood and it is always warming to them. Childhood is a phase where a person lives freely without thinking of anything, there are no responsibilities and an individual can do whatever he asks for. The child is new to the world, he is curious about every other thing present in the environment.

In childhood, a person is usually fearless because he does not know the meaning of fear and the mind is not developed to sense the right and wrong. This expression of being fearless is so amazing, one can do whatever he wants without thinking of the consequences. This is what childhood looks like. It depicts the simplicity and innocence of an individual.

Some people do not have a very good childhood. There are many reasons which can destroy a person’s childhood. Poor people take their childs at work with them, this is known as child labour. Children are forced to work to earn money at least to eat food. Some children face difficulties at home because of the bad behaviour of their mother and father.

This induces some kind of a disorder known as PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This period is the only time where a person can live without worrying for anything and anyone. Because after this phase passes, a person has to think about his future and study hard accordingly. This does not give time to do all the other activities one used to do in their childhood.

It is the period of drastic growth and development. We develop our taste in this phase of childhood according to our choices. Moreover, there is an overall development of our personality and Intelligence Quotient. Our brain shapes itself in a way that we want to become. Growth is essential for living but so is living to the fullest.

Childhood is the best time where an individual can enjoy freely and create memories that he will remember forever. With the growing age, we lose this part of ourselves and remember it just in pieces of memories and keep those memories close to heart. When a person feels bad or down, a child can heal the person internally without doing anything special. It is a fact that the soul can be healed by a child.

Whenever there is a child at home, the members are pulled together and stay close and happy with the child. There is a famous quote stating that “Children are not only innocent and curious but also optimistic and joyful and essentially happy. They are, in short, everything adults wish they could be.” – Carolyn Haywood. This indeed is true.

Some of the major memories of my childhood are : There was a time when I was a kid and I tried to fix cars with my dad. My dad had a big garage in which many cars came for repairs and maintenance. My dad took me to the garage and I watched him keenly and one day I started fixing the tyre. I love cars and I loved to look at the inner machinery parts of them. I miss this phase of my childhood so much. I wish I could turn back time and bring this back. 

Childhood is one of the most beautiful phases of human life. It is remembered by everyone. Every person has one or the other stories to tell related to their childhood and it is always warming to them. Adults wish to turn back into kids like they were once.

The simplicity and innocence of a kid leave him free of responsibilities and enjoys the present. I hope this article helps you in finding what you were looking for.

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Essay on childhood memories 30 Models

Essay on childhood memories, this essay is one of the interesting topics that students find easy to write. This topic is interesting because it contains interesting sentences and information. Childhood memories are the most beautiful memories in a person’s life. Where a person lives his childhood years freely and happily. When a child comes out to life, he does not bear any responsibility, but only enjoys playing. Below we will talk in detail about childhood memories.

Essay on childhood memories

Each of us has beautiful memories that he lived and enjoyed during his childhood. And these memories differ from person to person. And in an essay on childhood memories, we will talk in detail about all kinds of memories.

Memories are of great importance in the life of each of us. A person who does not make good memories in his childhood will live a miserable life in the future. Childhood memories make life more beautiful later on.

What are memories?

Memories are what we are able to remember in the future because it was something special. And those memories might be certain actions we were doing. Or it’s our favorite days when we used to meet a friend or someone close to us.

When we do something special like a specific game or go on a beautiful trip, this work turns into a beautiful memory in the future. We may spend the days of feasts or go to a beautiful occasion and enjoy it, as it becomes a memory.

Why are memories important?

In an essay on childhood memories, I will talk about the importance of memories. Memories are important for all people in the future, as they become something beautiful that reminds them of the past. And when a person sits down to remember these old things, he smiles and feels happy.

But if a person does not have any beautiful memories, he feels sad, and this is because he is exposed to the pressures of life. When a person does not find something old that makes him happy, he feels lonely and sad.

How do we make beautiful memories?

Every one of us should make beautiful memories on a daily basis. Making memories is not an automatic process, but we must make a great effort to extract beautiful memories from the stress of life.

If a person is determined to make beautiful memories, he must focus on them. But if a person surrenders to life, he will not reap any good memories. And people who live a serious life miss out on the chance to make good memories.

How do we avoid bad memories?

Bad memories greatly affect all people, and they feel sad and frustrated whenever they remember them. This is why we should avoid bad things from happening in our lives by trying to do fun things whenever we can.

But if bad memories surround us, we must read an essay on childhood memories, in order to learn about the importance of good memories. And everyone, whether children or adults, should learn how to have good memories and get rid of bad ones.

What are the types of childhood memories?

During childhood, we find a large number of memories that the child collects on a daily basis, but there are many types of memories, as they are not limited to one type. Multiple memories provide more opportunity for everyone to get beautiful memories from them.

First: the different games that the child plays from a young age, as these games leave a good impact on the hearts of the children.

Second: Going on a trip or going out for a picnic with friends or family, as the child loves to go out and run freely without restrictions.

Third: All children enjoy the holidays, as they play with other children happily and receive beautiful gifts that make them happy.

Fourth: There are a large number of children who enjoy studying and going to school, as they collect wonderful memories from meeting their friends on a daily basis.

Bad memories

In the essay on childhood memories, we can write in the lives of all people bad memories that happened to them during their childhood. And these memories may be painful in the future whenever the person remembers them.

And these kinds of memories happen in different forms.

One of the bad memories is when the child is exposed to a traumatic accident, such as bicycle accidents and predatory animal attack.

There are other types of incidents that affect the child, including bullying and beatings from people stronger than him.

How to make memories

We should all learn an easy way to make memories ourselves and not wait for them to happen. In our essay on childhood memories, we will learn how to make beautiful memories.

These memories need to be specific, like choosing something easy and doable. Then we begin to leave everything that preoccupies us and prevents us from doing beautiful things and force ourselves to do the good thing so that it becomes a memory in the future.

A beautiful memorial model

I will tell you about a beautiful memory for us to remember together. I was eight years old when I went on a trip with my family. This trip was going to a beautiful coastal city overlooking the Red Sea.

We got up early and got into the car. My mom arranged the food and bags well. I brought beach clothes and beach toys. I was so happy when I saw the sea.

When we got to the beach, we found the place magical and the color of the water blue. We made a cute tent for us to use to change clothes and sleep. Once we arrived, we ate delicious food and went down to the sea.

I was very happy when I swam in the sea and played in the sand. My friends and I ran after each other laughing unbelievably. This day was one of the best days of my life and I will never forget it.

Bad memory model

In the essay on childhood memories, we can write about bad memories as well. Bad memories stay with the person throughout his life due to their sad effect on the person’s psyche.

As for the bad memory that happened to me, it was a dog attack on me while I was returning from school. I was walking down the road without looking around. While walking, I was surprised by a dog running towards me.

I never imagined that this dog would hurt me. Unfortunately, he attacked fiercely. At the time, I was very afraid, but fear did not help me, rather it weakened me even more. I tried to scream but no one heard me. When the dog bit me and knocked me to the ground, I didn’t feel a thing. I went to the hospital after the accident and woke up there.

After a long treatment, I started walking again. This incident was one of the worst things that happened to me in my childhood.

Memories related to accidents become like nightmares, as the child sees them during sleep and gets up from his sleep while he feels that they are real. Memories remain with a person for several years of his life.

My favorite memory is getting first place in a swimming competition. I learned to swim when I was four. I go to training 3 times a week.

At first I found swimming stressful and difficult, but with practice and time I started to like it and I excelled in it significantly.

The coach told my mom that I’m going to get the gold. Indeed, this dream came true and I stood on the podium to receive the gold medal. It was the most beautiful memory of my life.

Since that day, I have been working hard to swim a lot, and the dream that I intend to achieve this time is to travel abroad to participate in international competitions.

There I will be able to beat the world champions and write my name in the middle of history as a world champion .

Essay on childhood memories 160 words 

I will try to bring you childhood memories, where we used to run and play with our friends on a daily basis. Our house was five floors, and we knew all the neighbors and played with their children. In the first round I had two friends who liked to play football

On the third floor, I had a friend who liked to sing, so we used to gather in the evening for him to sing for us. As for the fourth floor, there were four children who liked to have fun and hold various races. On the fifth floor, grandfather and grandmother lived alone, so we used to go up there to listen to the old stories.

The stories for me and the other kids were the only entertainment, because we didn’t have a TV or go to any club.

The other kind of entertainment was playing in the street in front of our house some simple games like football and hide and seek.

Essay on childhood memories 140 words 

Childhood memories are all events that people experience during the early stages of their lives. What makes these memories special and a person does not find better memories throughout his life. He is without responsibilities, so he has fun all the time and has fun without getting distracted by the consequences. Therefore, we find that most people yearn for childhood memories and smile when they remember them.

Each of us has his own memories and are different from the memories of others.

I owned a small dog as a child and used to name it John, just like my uncle’s name.

He was a lovable dog and I would take him everywhere with me.

And when I was ten he disappeared and I couldn’t find him anywhere, so I grieved for him very sadly and I can’t forget him until now.

Unforgettable childhood memories essay

The events that the child is exposed to in the childhood years cannot be forgotten, whether they are beautiful memories or sad memories.

Therefore, parents must keep their children away from exposure to painful memories because they are unforgettable.

They must create beautiful memories for their children so that they will be engraved in their minds forever.

One of the bad memories that may happen to a child that he does not forget throughout his life is that his pet dies. When I was six I had a cat named Lucy. She was white and had blue eyes. I cared and pampered her. But she contracted a rare disease that affects cats. The doctor said she would die.

I grieved deeply and was trying to save her life in every way possible.Even though I was a six-year-old, I used to take her to all the doctors without hesitation.

I have been giving her medication regularly and spending time with her. In the end the cat died and left me a painful memory until now.

My favorite childhood memory essay

Each of us has favorite childhood memories that remain engraved in our memory and are not forgotten no matter how much time passes.

When I was five my dad bought me a new bike. I’ve been going out with it every day but haven’t been able to drive it properly.

One day I met my dad’s best friend who was determined to teach me to ride a bike. Indeed, he taught me until the evening. When I first rode the bike, I was so happy, and this memory was the best memory of my life.

Even though I have bought several bikes after this one, and have ridden the bike a million times, I still remember my first bike. And I’m not as happy riding a bike as I did with my old scooter.

When I miss my childhood memories, I open my old box in which I keep all my old photos. When I take out these pictures, I feel very happy and I feel that the event in the picture is repeated again and that time has gone back.

My Childhood Essay

My childhood was beautiful and has many special memories. I used to live in a big house with a garden around it.

In the garden there were some trees and plants. I used to like to plant roses to decorate the place.

We had a small pool in the middle of the garden. I learned to swim with my sister. And of course we had a pink hammock by the house.

On holidays, our relatives would come to visit us and we would play with my cousins ​​in the garden.

Among the games we used to play were soccer and running. I had great times in this house. So my childhood was unforgettable.

And as I told you about happy things, there are also bad things like accidents that happen to all children.

As for me, I was constantly falling off the bike, hurting my foot. I had been stitched several times because of the deep cuts, which were painful and bad memories.

Childhood experience essay

In childhood, the child comes out to life to learn a large number of experiences. And the child at this stage is like a white paper on which we write what we want.

So it is easy to teach him any experience no matter how difficult. If parents want to teach their child any skill or experience, they must leave the space for experiment while providing him with safety.

For example, if the parents want to teach the child a sport such as swimming, they must let him go into the water freely, but with a good coach and a safe place for the children.

With time the child will learn the skill that was new to him and was afraid of it. One day he may become a world champion in this skill and be able to fetch medals and win for himself and for his country.

But if the parents are those who fear for the child a pathological fear, they will not let him accept any skill, which will make him inexperienced.

And experiences are what make a person mature, regardless of his age. A mature person may be young, but his experiences are huge.

My childhood memories composition

A young child is a pure being who does not know lies or deception, so he behaves with his childish nature and laughs for the slightest reason. So when he does something simple or offers him a piece of candy, he feels very happy.

Unlike adults who feel sad and depressed and do not find anything enjoyable in their lives.

As we see around us that an adult is difficult to please, unlike a child who is happy with little things.

This is why childhood memories are so special and missed by everyone. Because the child had collected it during his early years when he was feeling free and indifferent to what was happening around him, he was able to play and run happily.

In childhood we have a large number of friends where we play and have fun freely and comfortably. Children do not know treachery or hatred, but they behave themselves. But as they grow up, their characteristics change and become more complex.

My childhood memories essay

I had a friend who lived right in front of my house, so we used to spend the day together in front of our house. All the good memories are about this friend, because she was so funny and made me laugh.

One day we were playing and we found an insect flying near us, and I was very afraid of insects. I couldn’t help myself from the horror so I ran fast and was screaming loudly.

But my friend did a funny thing, jumping up and holding the bug in her hands. It was a strange and funny act that I still don’t forget.

And another day we were going to buy ice cream. I bought mango ice cream and my friend bought chocolate ice cream.

As soon as we moved away from the vendor, something terrifying happened. A dog barked so hard that we were terrified and the ice cream fell off.

Short essay on childhood memories

Football was my favorite game during my early childhood years. I used to play with my schoolmates and with the neighbors. And my mother used to punish me for playing with long stings.

One day, while I was playing ball, I fell to the ground and broke my arm. So my friends carried me home, and when my mother saw me she said if you hadn’t broken your arm while you were playing ball, I would have broken it for you myself.

It was a painful and funny memory at the same time, because of my mother’s words. Despite my mother’s attempts to focus on my studies and stop playing football, I still play now.

Because of this great passion and love for the sport of football, I excelled in the game and joined a youth football club.

Narrative essay on childhood memories

From childhood memories that can not be forgotten when you are exposed to an embarrassing situation or a painful situation, the memories do not have to be all beautiful. One of the most difficult memories I will never forget is the day my grandfather died.

I loved him incredibly and would go to sit with him all night long, listening to the radio or talking to each other about many things about life in general and us in particular. He would listen to me and advise me what he thought was best for me.

One day the doctor told us that he was having a heart attack and that he had to go to the hospital. I was deeply saddened and felt that the house was dark and gloomy. He was in the hospital for 3 days and then died there.

Therefore, this memory became one of the most painful memories in my life, which I remember constantly and feel nostalgia for my grandfather and sadness because of his death. Even now, although many years have passed, I still feel that he died yesterday.

My best memory essay

Childhood days essay.

Childhood days had a large number of events, both good and bad. We used to go to school to meet and talk and play.

We used to play on the weekends either at home or with bicycles.

And at the end of the year we would go to the cinema and to the beach. We had special days, including the day I went to the beach with my relatives.

We were a big group of aunts and sons. We took with us several types of food and sweets. We sat on the beach all day. We played beach ball and swam in the water. And when evening came, we enjoyed the stories under the moonlight.

The reason for the beauty of such excursions is the presence of all family members in the same place. Although these trips may be simple and in places that are not special, the gathering of the family and the presence of the children together gives them a good opportunity to be able to play, have fun and create fond memories.

My favorite memory of my childhood is that I bought a bike. My father promised me that he would buy me a bike, but I had to pass the elementary school exams with a grade of ‘excellent’.

It was a tough situation for me because I didn’t like to study. But the bike motivated me to study my lessons well.

When my friends would come to play together I would remember the bike and tell them that I would study my lessons to get the bike.

Indeed, I was able to achieve success and my father went to buy the bike. This memory was the best memory of my life.

And I learned from this situation that if a person obtains a thing without an effort on his part, he will not appreciate the value of this thing and will waste it at the earliest opportunity. As for the person who obtains a thing after making a great effort, he appreciates its value and preserves it.

My childhood days essay

My childhood days were full of events, because my family traveled to several places, which enabled me to make different memories. I have traveled with them to a large number of countries such as Paris, Italy and Brazil.

At first I was sad when I knew that my father had moved to a new city or country, because of the loss of my friends after I had made a great effort to acquire them.

And I refused to travel and go to my grandfather and grandmother. But in the end, my father would come to pick me up and be determined to travel with him. In the end I traveled with him to all the places he went during his working years.

Each country has its own nature and different population from other countries. I learned a large number of languages ​​and had friends from various countries.

As for entertainment, I went to the most famous and most fun amusement parks. I skied and went to the beaches like it was a piece of heaven. I consider myself lucky because my childhood was special.

My childhood memories paragraph

I will tell you about the best memories of my childhood. I have been traveling with my grandfather on various hunting trips. He owned a hunting rifle and went out to hunt hares.

One day we were walking in the woods and saw a man screaming and lying on the ground. My grandfather rushed to save him, as he fell into a bear trap.

This was frightening because of the trap wound to the man’s leg. My grandfather was adept at opening this kind of booby trap. He freed the man and took him to the hospital. It was an unforgettable day.

But the advantage of traumatic memories and accidents is that they make a person stronger, as they gain the experience to act in difficult situations and not be afraid or stressed.

And you gain the experience of not escaping or abandoning the injured person because his life may be in danger and you are the only one who may be able to save him.

Childhood memory story essay

When I was in the nursery school, I used to go to the nursery by a shortcut because there was a circus here. My friends and I have been stopping to look inside the circus and watch the animals train.

The instructor was training the wild lions. They had a lot of monkeys of different sizes and shapes, but my favorite was a huge chimpanzee.

I watched an elephant playing with a ball and an ostrich dancing to the music. So these memories became some of the best memories of my childhood.

I remember the shape of the lion, its huge size, and the strength of its voice. Despite its frightening appearance, the trainer dealt with it with all strength and courage.  She was training all kinds of predators.

The strange thing is that she was training a large number at the same time, up to 5 huge predatory animals, without hesitation or fear.

My favorite childhood memory narrative essay

Memories are situations that a person experiences during the different stages of his life. There are many types of memories, not just one.

There are memories of success and excellence, such as excelling in studies or in a particular sport. There are memories of playing and spending time with friends.

There are also bad memories associated with accidents. Sad memories are related to the death of a relative or friend.

And all these kinds of memories are engraved in the memory and are not forgotten for a lifetime.

One of the saddest memories I still remember was when my brother fell off the horse and ran over him several times.

It was a painful accident that caused my brother to enter the operating room and perform a number of surgeries until he returned to the way he was before the accident.

My favourite childhood memory essay

It was a tough condition for me because I didn’t like to study. But the bike motivated me to study my lessons well.

In the essay on childhood memories, we talked about the importance of good memories in our lives. And we talked about bad memories that people don’t forget. And for this we must try to acquire good memories. And even if memories don’t come to us, we have to create them. We must teach children how to make good memories and teach them the importance of these memories in the future.

We have provided you with an Essay on childhood memories ,and you can read more through the following link:

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• Essay on childhood

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Annie Wright, LMFT

Licensed psychotherapist serving individuals, couples, and families from the Bay Area and beyond.

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Aug 2, 2020, when will i stop feeling sad about my childhood, healing childhood trauma.

So lately, I’ve been hearing an increase of questions – in my clinical work, in my blog and social comments, in emails in my inbox – asking questions to the effect of: 

But when will I stop feeling sad about my childhood? 

When will it be over? When will my sadness and anger stop?

I shouldn’t still be feeling this way, should I?

I have some thoughts about questions like these and how you can best support yourself if this is your experience. 

Your grief about your childhood is legitimate.

If you come from a dysfunctional family, from adverse early beginnings, if you experienced childhood abuse, neglect, relational trauma, or dysfunctional that otherwise impaired your development as a young adult and adult, I want you to consider something:

Your grief about your childhood is completely legitimate.

Sadness, anger, despair, longing, sorrow, rage, resentment… all of these are appropriate responses to the experience you had.

What do I mean by this?

All children, all babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, and teens deserve the experience of being unconditionally loved. Protected. Supported for being exactly who and how they are. 

Every child born on this planet deserves the experience of relational safety, of being honored and respected as a person, and made to feel loved and nurtured in all ways.

If you didn’t have this, if, in fact, you had something quite different and the opposite (whether this was consistently or at times), your childhood was therefore marked. Marred. And possibly lost. 

And this – the loss or rupture of your precious, irreplaceable childhood experience – is absolutely something you get to grieve.

You get to be upset that you didn’t have stable, functional, loving, devoted, and consistent caregivers.

You get to be angry that you didn’t experience a sense of safety – both in the world and in your own home.

You get to grieve and regret and wish for something different to have happened to you.

Your grief about your childhood is completely legitimate. 

It is, what I call, an abstract grief experience – sometimes less socially-legitimized than, let’s say, the actual death of a loved one – but it is still 100% legitimate and worthy of feeling your feelings about. 

So that’s the first thing I want you to understand: you absolutely get to feel the way you feel about your childhood. 

Your grief (and all its attendant complex feelings) is totally, perfectly legitimate. 

Do you come from a childhood trauma background?

Take this 5-minute quiz to find out (and more importantly, what to do about it if you do.), start the quiz, like with real grief, it may never fully end. not completely..

Now, you may be reading this essay thinking, “Okay, Annie, I get that I am allowed to feel how I feel about my childhood, but I still want to know when it will end. When will my sadness end? It’s so uncomfortable and inconvenient!”

First, I truly get it. 

Feeling what seems like never-ending waves of sadness or anger can be so frustrating if not downright disruptive to our daily experience, can’t it?

But I want you to consider something that may be provocative to hear: you may never fully stop feeling grief about your lost or marred childhood. 

But , that doesn’t mean your grief will always feel the way it feels now .

For example, if you’ve ever lost someone you love (and I’m so sorry if you have!), you might know that grief has stages and seasons to it. 

After the death or loss of our loved one, the grief is acute, it’s peak, it’s so sharply painful in its emotional intensity.

With time and with seemingly endless experiences of allowing ourselves to feel sad, to let our feelings roll through us, the grief in its intensity and acuity may ebb with time.

But it may never fully go away. 

You don’t forget about the spouse you lost to cancer. 

But maybe, years down the road, you feel less constantly, daily swamped with grief and loss every day. 

You can move through your life and your memory of your spouse brings up sadness and a throb of pain in your heart when your mind lands on her, but you don’t feel the acuity of your grief as intensely as you did in the early days after her loss.

But still, days like her birthday, or your wedding day, or Valentine’s day, these days may always feel harder and may evoke your grief, your reminder of the person you loved and lost.

So, too, I think that our experience of grieving our childhood exists in seasons.

There are times, particularly when we’re really just beginning our healing journeys and start to confront the reality of what happened to us and what we didn’t have, that the grief about our lost childhood may take our breath away in its intensity.

But, and I truly believe this, as you move forward in your healing journey, as you do the work to recover from the childhood you had, your grief may change. 

It may ebb, it may feel less acute. Your mind may feel less preoccupied and your heart less consumed with feelings you’d rather not feel. 

And still, too, like with the grief that comes from the death of a loved one, there may always be triggers, times when your grief gets piqued and it peaks because coming from a dysfunctional childhood is like living with a constant series of little losses.

Coming from a dysfunctional childhood involves a constant series of little losses.

I say often that coming from a dysfunctional family system is like living with a constant little series of losses. 

It’s the kind of experience where, as you move through your adult life, you’re reminded so often of the many little losses you had coming from the background you had. 

It’s the kind of loss that gets triggered when you watch your friend dance with her father during the Father-Daughter dance at her wedding, knowing you’ll never have the same thing. 

It’s the kind of sadness that comes up when you read books like Little House on The Prairie or Little Women and wish for something as wholesome as those characters experienced with their fathers, mothers, and siblings.

It’s the kind of loss that gets evoked when you watch the other family in your nanny share situation have two sets of grandparents living within hours of the young family, always able and willing to provide postpartum support and babysitting duties (and those grandparents are actually safe and trustworthy enough to leave the newborn with.) You marvel at what that might feel like. How much easier new parenting would be if you had that.

It’s the kind of loss that’s prompted when you hear that your friend was given a hundred thousand dollar gift of a down payment for his first house and your mind reels at imagining coming from a family as financially functional and stable as that, knowing you’ll have to earn every penny over many, many years to have that same thing for yourself. 

Coming from a dysfunctional family background is like living with a constant little series of losses even as an adult with childhood long behind you. 

So please, if you’re shaming yourself for still feeling your feelings about your lost or marred childhood, remember that, like with the grief over the death of a loved one, countless triggers will be woven into your adult experience that will continue to evoke this sadness for you. 

But here’s how you can care for yourself through your sadness. 

And still, even when you can understand and legitimize your grief and hold space and compassion for the many ways it gets triggered over time, it doesn’t feel easy or comfortable, does it?

While there are things I think we can do to support our healing and grieving process to help it move more swiftly and healthily through us, I do want to say this:

We can’t eliminate grief from your human experience. And we would never want to.

Your sadness, your anger, your grief, your big feelings about what you didn’t receive are not only legitimate responses to what happened to you, but they are also deeply human and very important responses. 

Your heart feels, your soul hurts. 

This is how you know you’re alive and attuned to your human experience.

Provocative though it may be to say, I actually think it’s a good thing that you feel what you feel. 

It means you are connected to your body and that you’re allowing your feelings to exist.

And, still, I know it can feel preoccupying and never-ending to deal with the ongoing grief work of childhood, so please, consider that you can support yourself to move more quickly and healthily through your experience by:

1. Actively grieve: Actively grieving means allowing the feelings to come up when and how they do and not trying to diminish or dismiss them. What we resist, persists. So the more you actually allow your feelings to be present, paradoxically, the more they will move through you and ultimately change and possibly ebb with time.

2. Actively support yourself: Actively supporting yourself means not shaming or shoulding yourself when your feelings arise, even as you allow them. Speak compassionately to yourself, remind yourself that your feelings are legitimate and that they make sense given the childhood you had. Speak to yourself as kindly as a good enough mother would speak to her child. 

3. Actively seek out others who understand: Few things are more healing and supportive than having others in our lives who truly get what we have lived through. The understanding, the mirroring, the empathy and camaraderie that can come from being validated by someone who has lived through (and still lives through) what you did and do can be enormous. You may be able to seek this understanding out in a good friend, or in a 12-step group, or with your therapist, or with cohorts of students who come from backgrounds like you gathered in a private Facebook community for peer support . Wherever you find this help, please actively try to seek it out and allow it to help your own grieving and healing process. 

I hope this essay felt helpful to you if you, like so many of us, have asked yourself the question, “When will I stop feeling sad about my childhood?”

And now I’d love to invite you to share in the comments: 

What’s one phrase you say to yourself that supports you and your feelings when you start to feel sad about your childhood?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments so our community of readers can benefit from your wisdom.

If you would personally like support around this and you live in California or Florida , please feel free to reach out to me directly to explore therapy together.

Or if you live outside of these states, please consider enrolling in the waitlist for the Relational Trauma Recovery School – or my signature online course, Hard Families, Good Boundaries , designed to support you in healing your adverse early beginnings and create a beautiful adulthood for yourself, no matter where you started out in life.

And until next time, please take very good care of yourself. You’re so worth it.

Warmly, Annie

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Reader Interactions

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August 2, 2020 at 11:38 am

When I grieve my lost and lonely, isolated and scapegoated existence, it is rage, despair, and then numbing as the feelings exhaust me. Mine was a violent, neglectful childhood in the area of love and emotional support. I was essentially given the message that many boys receive when they show sensitivity, “Suck it up and Smile or go to your room.” Don’t talk back. You look like 10 pounds of potatoes in a five pound sack. You are not nervous, how could you be nervous? Stupid. You are a black sheep. Go to your room for the entire quarter until you bring your grades up. Why didn’t you get a full A instead of an A-. I was also often accused of having evil motives and thoughts that had never occurred to me. Taught to swim in the deep end with my dad saying swim to me and then backing up as I reached him. He thought it was funny. I was five. Five was the age I got my first beating too. A babysitter lied and said I would not go to bed when she would not let me. She actually blocked me from sleeping by not letting me go to my room and get in bed. Drunk Dad believed her and beat me that night at 11:00 PM after they got home from a night of Navy partying. I feel cruel because at age 60, two years ago, I stopped calling and cut off contact and resisted all of the golden sister’s attempts to make me toe the mark. On the other hand, I feel free to be me now. I miss the good times which were just enough to make the entire 60 years intermittent reward. They also sent me nice gifts sometimes. I don’t thank them any more and they finally stopped. One of my parents called and hung on the phone for a minute or so and then hung up without saying a word. My father told me once that would make me call. Not this time. And the guilt is with me today, along with the lump in my throat and the quivering and the tears. Am I cruel and a horrible daughter since they are in their mid-eighties? I will never know because I raised myself after I left home and all I know is that it hurts. The appearance of the perfect naval aviator and his dutiful successful daughters is marred and they blame me. Namaste’ I hope every one reading is having a better day than I.

August 2, 2020 at 6:53 pm

Sarah, my story is so incredibly similar to yours. I was never physically abused, but there were many times over the years that I wished my dad would just hit me instead of shame me and belittle me because I felt it would be easier to heal from ‘sticks and stones’ as opposed to words. Now at 51, I’m still struggling with many of the same issues. I try to think of affirmations to pull myself up by my bootstraps, sometimes it works other times their continuing criticisms send me spiraling into negative thoughts and depression. I work with my family and so our lives are very intermingled in many different ways. Finally, at 51, I’m learning (albeit slowly) to love myself and give myself grace for those more difficult days. And when I have a good day I embrace it and rejoice in it because they are few and far between. Thank you for sharing your story. ‘We’ are not alone.

August 9, 2020 at 11:58 am

Gina, thank you so much for validating Sarah’s experience and for sharing more of your own story. It’s so powerful when we share our stories and hear other people say, “Yes, me too.” Thank you for giving Sarah and anyone else who stumbles on this comment thread that experience. Warmly, Annie

August 3, 2020 at 12:20 am

Annie, thank you for this…permission to acknowledge that what happened was not how children are meant to be raised yet I somehow survived. I have always known that survival is not enough it’s living that matters. Living with parents with mental health problems at a time before Talk Therapy was as commonplace as it is now, before SSRIs were invented made me feel different. However, when I feel sad about a specific incident from my childhood that comes to mind, I acknowledge my sadness, I remember the moment of the memory and I pray for healing from the confusion and hurt of that memory. This is a process that I repeat every time the painful memories assault me.

August 9, 2020 at 11:54 am

Maria, I’m really touched by your comment and I’m so glad you found some permission in the essay to better validate your own experience. It sounds like you have a beautiful practice that you do when triggered and it says to me that you’re doing wonderful healing work and really showing up for yourself. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. Warmly, Annie

July 1, 2023 at 1:21 am

thank you Maria for sharing your solution in prayer, especially when I’m alone. I have childhood , but mainly it’s my adult wounds I’ve done to myself that I grieve and am faced with those consequences. Annie thank you for creating this article.

August 9, 2020 at 12:03 pm

Sarah, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot in life and it also sounds, too, like you’re taking care of yourself and holding the boundaries that will best serve you. I’m glad about that. I truly hope that hearing Gina (and others’ responses) on this thread feel validating to you. It sounds like many people resonate with aspects of your story. Thank you for taking the time to share so openly. Warmly, Annie

August 9, 2020 at 6:49 pm

Wow, what a childhood. Mine was not terrific even though I tell everyone it was good. Now at the age of 64 I am carrying lots of things I should not be carrying. Some of my childhood is now affecting my adult life. Wish I could go back and change a lot. Take care and God Bless

June 23, 2023 at 2:21 pm

Hello Sarah,

I am so glad you have cut off your abusive family! You deserve to have the best life you can.

August 2, 2020 at 1:19 pm

Annie I am so thankful for your work, and look forward to your encouragement via your emails every week. So much so at times I feel they are letters addressed straight to me. When I started my journey to become my best self, I said ” by worldly standards” I had it all. Great kids , Job, home, friends, savings etc etc. But daily I felt at a loss, empty, living in fear, scared constantly . I know now after 18 mos of trying to understand why I at minimum know it is not me (so to speak) Alcoholic father, constant yelling screaming, police at house, priests would visit to calm down household. One event stood out as I began journaling and after an online line class by Siegel and Firestone , becoming your best self I journaled a memory from age 5 where dad pulled car in garage left in run with all of us in house . The memory of mom sweeping us out and chaos that ensued surely was implanted in my DNA and out look on life . Through life I was a fighter, survived and won at all costs. In business world weirdly so I was rewarded for this, but inside I was empty , lost scared. Now I understand why I react , why so naturally I respond poorly when i feel loved one, a coworker or my children back away . My reaction is based on my childhood. I am doing better , and just the knowledge of why is the majority of the battle. I have done cognitive therapy , read 15 or more books on attachment theory , boundaries etc ( hold me tight my favorite) and enjoyed your insights and wisdom. To all, it gets better. Journaling helped me, counseling, reading and living in present moment as well. You need to to the work , talk with Annie or other cognitive therapist. In the end I was a child and did what i thought I had to do, it wasn’t wrong it was the best I could at the time. I had to learn I can’t act that way, or believe that way now at age 56. The best to all on your journeys, remember you our loved , for me it was realizing God loves me first, unconditionally . Give and accept the love to and from others and change the world one person at a time. Sincerely Joe M

August 9, 2020 at 12:01 pm

Joe, I’m very touched by your share and your story. It sounds like you’ve done (and are doing) wonderful work to support yourself and make sense of your childhood experience. I can hear so much self-compassion in your post and appreciate that you remind yourself that “In the end I was a child and did what i thought I had to do, it wasn’t wrong it was the best I could at the time.” And that now, at 56, maybe those ways of being and doing no longer serve you. I think that’s a place so many of us arrive at and I appreciate you sharing your experiences so honestly. And I’m touched, too, that you value my regular essays. I truly hope that they always feel helpful to you. Warmly, Annie

August 3, 2020 at 6:50 pm

Often I feel like it’s not fair towards my mother to grieve my childhood emotional neglect and verbal abuse, because she had her own struggles too. I’ve got to remind myself that that is no excuse for my mother’s behavior. As I write this I recognize that this is another case of me not allowing myself to feel the way I feel. I guess it stemms from my experience how my family was not able or willing to understand and sooth me. Thank you Annie for your blog post. I really struggle with self-compassion. Kind regards Erik

August 9, 2020 at 11:52 am

Erik, I’m really touched by your comment and I truly hope you’ll stay tuned for my next essay (coming out on Sunday the 16th) which addresses this very commonly shared issue: the struggle to hold the duality of painful and positive experiences, particularly with our mothers. I really appreciate your reflections on how and why this may feel hard for you to do. And even though you say you struggle with self-compassion, I would say that it takes a lot of self-compassion to reflect in the way you just did. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and to read the essay. Warmly, Annie

August 9, 2020 at 7:04 pm

I never really realized the issues especially at my age 64. All come from my childhood. My mom I love her dearly but I have still problems stemming from her. My step dad well I was always afraid of him and felt like god forbid if I do anything wrong what will happen to me when I get home from school. One time I walked in the rain for hours because I got a bad mark on my pumpkin Math paper and when I got home out came the strap and I seem to get hit a lot. I never learned how to handle things growing up. I am looking back and wish I can change things. My mom and me get along pretty good but she would be the first one to belittle me I front of someone. I always tried to do so good in everything and feel I need approval of everything with everybody. Oh my how I wish I could start over and look into the future then and corrected so much. I often get mad at myself even though sometimes I should not. I tried to be s great mom and raise my son basically on my own and now we have not talked for six months and he keeps his daughters from me. I don’t understand a lot but maybe some of my childhood rubbed off on me being a parent. I always tried to be a good parent and a good person but I must of done something wrong. Sad, I will never get to know

August 3, 2020 at 11:14 pm

I say, “It’s ok to not be ok,” and, “I have done enough for today and I am enough.” My favorite: “In this moment I am at peace,” when I get waves of anxiety or shame. All of this soothes my body/emotion self.

August 9, 2020 at 11:47 am

Laura, I love these phrases! It sounds like you’ve done a lot of work to know how to support yourself when you get triggered. Thank you so much for generously sharing your go-to self-soothing phrases with us.

August 4, 2020 at 12:52 pm

The one phrase to myself. Be there with me, with all of the feelings. Be there.

August 9, 2020 at 11:46 am

Reiko, this is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. Warmly, Annie

August 5, 2020 at 3:00 am

Your article was just what I needed to hear tonite, as well as the comments from others. I am currently in therapy doing EMDR to deal with the trauma. One of my constant thoughts is: I am too old to be dealing with this still- I should have let it go by now. (unfortunately, friends say this to me also). I am going to take these ideas to heart and try to be kinder to myself. Thanks

August 9, 2020 at 11:45 am

Well, one of my big hopes is that, through the magic of the internet and Google, etc, my words will reach folks when they most need to hear them. So I’m so glad this article came to you when you needed it.

Please, if friends or anyone else says you’re too old to still be dealing with this, ignore them. You can love them, bless them, care for them, but you don’t have to listen to their feedback. They don’t know your personal history and internal experience. They are not the expert of you. Only you are.

I’m so glad that you’re in EMDR now and I truly hope that it feels helpful and supportive to you.

August 9, 2020 at 6:34 am

Thank you so much to all who have already shared, particularly Erik (your comment was sorely needed for me today) as well as Maria, Laura and C whose comments really resonated with my personal experience.

For me, my phrase is “both are true”.

It’s a fairly recent phrase for me. My childhood memories are often very conflicting, with parental figures and caregivers who did awful things but also provided for me through their own problems. A smiling face and a biting remark; shelter but no stability. That sort of thing.

When I am conflicted on how I should feel about these contradictory memories, I simply say “both are true” and allow the conflict to exist. It’s been very helpful, and affirming to all the younger versions of myself that couldn’t work out how to feel.

August 9, 2020 at 11:43 am

Ami, I so appreciate your share and feel like you took a peak at my next essay coming out next Sunday where I explore what’s possible when we can hold the duality of our feelings towards our caregivers. Thank you so much for sharing what supports you when you start to feel triggered. It sounds like you’re practicing being a very good inner parent to your younger self. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Warmly, Annie

May 16, 2021 at 10:22 am

I say to myself: „No feeling is final“. As a now 40 year old child of an alcoholic father who committed suicide and a mother suffering from schizophrenia, it’s hard to find people with similar experiences and to not feel like an alien. At the moment I am going through another wave of grief and alienation. But “this too shall pass” (until next wave …) Thanks for your great website!

August 26, 2021 at 8:22 pm

Thank you so much for the article. I am a recovering alcoholic. I started in AA in my early 30’s and had a good 10+ years. I don’t know when I started drinking again but I’ve been drinking for 20+ years. I’m now working on my 4th step (moral inventory). Realizing that so much of why I drank was from fear and anger. Then as I peeled back more of the onion I realized I’ve been afraid of everything for as long as I can remember. My mom was a narcissist and so was my grandmother who also lived with us. My father was an alcoholic and just blended in with the woodwork. Mom constantly blaming, shaming, very angry. Hard spankings with a paddle. The worst was when my twin sister would be getting her beating and she would be screaming and begging for mom to stop. My little soul could barely stand it. I don’t remember My Pain but I do remember the pain I felt for my sister. My mom is still alive at 96. Lives in a nursing home and I have had no contact with her for 5/6 years. Been in therapy for 8 years this time. I’m very thankful for my 12 step work that is allowing me to grieve my childhood again and hopefully take that child in my arms and love her a little more each day. When I feel depression coming over me I try to ask myself what is bothering me. And I say things like Laura it’s going to be ok. We will walk through this together. And take her hand and pray to the God of my own understanding ❤️

August 31, 2021 at 12:15 am

Hi Laura, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment and for sharing your story so generously. I’m sure many blog readers here will see themselves in what you shared. I want you to know that I’m so proud of you for getting back into therapy and for taking such good care of that little girl inside of you. I know recovery and staying sober can feel painful and isolating sometimes, but please know that you’re not alone and that you’re doing such a wonderful job. Take such good care of yourself, Laura. You’re so worth it. Warmly, Annie.

October 11, 2021 at 11:01 am

Between the physical and emotional abuse, the parents fighting, being spoken to intermittently, harshly and then in the wrong language to even communicate at school, let alone make any friends has truly ruined my life. I feel like my life has been one uphill struggle playing catch up to have a social life, to meet a good life partner, be a good dad. And I haven’t succeeded, things feel ‘enough,’ my days are filled with regret as I spend them with clever, interesting funny people from nice backgrounds who don’t want to connect. School, college, uni were all lonely places, watching others speak endlessly, carefully, happily having fun whilst I struggled alone and sad. Now I take my children to parties, friends’ houses, events and it hurts so bad. I just want to scream ‘Why me!’ into a hole. I could accept it, but it leaves its mark, I am me, not blessed with instant wit and humour but constantly playing catch up. I can let the shame go, and the fawning and the constant desire to run away from home as a child, and feelings of freedom on leaving to uni. But I will always be me, I cannot change that to someone who can engage with the right kind of people.

October 13, 2021 at 5:14 pm

Hi Laurent, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your experience with us. It takes a lot of bravery to do that. I’m sorry you’ve had to navigate those tough experiences, I know that can feel painful and isolating. Please know that you’re not alone and take such good care of yourself. Warmly, Annie

October 27, 2021 at 6:38 am

Thank you so much for this article, I was having emotional ups and downs for weeks, and I could never figure out why, but when I stumbled onto this article, I realized I’m grieving the childhood I never had. Although I didn’t have a negative environment growing up, I was burdened by a secret at five years old that taught me I wasn’t enough as I was. I thought if people knew who I was, they wouldn’t love me anymore. I missed out on so much of just being a carefree kid without any regrets, and just having a normal life. I felt alone with my struggles and had to grow up too fast to emotionally support myself. I had to quickly understand myself, regulate my emotions, hide my reactions, and pretend to be someone I’m not because I was so ashamed of who I was. I would always ask why it had to be me that got this burden, and I’m still so angry at how much that shame took from me. I also tend to minimize my emotions, so it really helped to be validated by this article, thank you.

November 2, 2021 at 5:26 pm

Hi Rose, you’re so welcome! I’m so pleased this post could validate you even a little bit and I hope it brought even a small sense of hope and healing.

Being a parentified child and growing up with that shame is so hard. I’ll be thinking of you, and wishing you all good things.

And if either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you, I’ll look forward to seeing you inside and working with you personally. Take such good care of yourself. Warmly, Annie

November 5, 2021 at 9:38 am

i tell myself “i love you. i’ll never leave you. everyone else in the whole world can leave but i got you. and god got us” whenever this work comes up i always try to envision connecting with my younger self in those memories, watching her, and i just offer that love and support that she didn’t get. i read once, that “we never realize as kids we would be the ones to come and save us” and i really feel that. thank you for this.

November 8, 2021 at 6:36 pm

Those are such beautiful affirmations, Kin. And I’m proud of you (and for all of us) for becoming the person we most needed when we were little. It’s no small feat. I’m sending you all my best. Warmly, Annie

May 15, 2022 at 7:16 pm

Ooh,I love this so much, thaanks for sharing! “we never realize as kids we would be the ones to come and save us”. At 44, I am the blessed mum of a 3 years-old, that I love unconditionally. I will never go away, never make her feel that she isn’t good enough. My coach recommended that I put up a picture of my toddler-self on the mirror and speak to it kindly twice a day. I am completely unable to do this, even after two weeks, without bursting in tears. I just think of that innocence and the massive trucks slamming into her face when she’ll be 3, then 9, then 14, then 19. No emotional security, a mother who leaves, a father who was never available, a violent, toxic stepmother and this young woman who ends up with social services… as a mum, I can’t fathom putting my child through all of this. Why did they? A year ago a DNA test made me realize my biological father wasn’t who i thought it was. Now that I have just confirmed his identity (he sadly passed away several years ago), i grieve for my childhood and can’t avoid wondering what it would have been like with my real father….

November 18, 2021 at 3:58 pm

“It’s okay to cry and ask for help because you weren’t strong enough to do it back then, but you are stronger now” I struggled with in my childhood a lack of emotions because it was the only thing that my childhood self could think of to do to keep myself from going down the wrong path. I wasn’t ready to deal with my emotions then. I am now, but it is extremely hard because I am in the process of grieving my childhood since I am a junior in college and realizing how much I went through. I’ve been dealing with a lot of self reflection and indirectly reflecting on my childhood, and I can’t stop being sad. It doesn’t help that my sister and my mom are both still deep in their addictions and I’ve gotten no closure from that aspect of my childhood. I just thought things would be so much better at this point in my life and I am grieving the fact that it’s not. I just want my sister back and I don’t know if that will ever happen.

November 22, 2021 at 7:51 pm

Hi Julianna, thank you for your comment. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister and your mom, I can imagine how painful and isolating those relationships may feel.

Grief in any form is painful and deeply challenging. I’m so proud of you for doing the self-reflection and personal work, and I’ll be thinking of you, and wishing you all good things.

If my forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you, I’ll look forward to seeing you inside and working with you personally. In the meantime, please take such good care of yourself, you’re so worth it. Warmly, Annie

December 13, 2021 at 7:49 pm

There is a lot of things I still wish to say to my Mom who passed Jan. 2014. I’ve now been in my own toxic relationships I never thought I could get out of, being roped into a lease while trying to end an engagement. I hold a lot of anger towards her, because if I could do it by myself and with only a few friends’ help.. then why couldn’t she? I now understand what an abusive relationship is and that it’s not easy to walk away from. But I just wish she was here so we could talk… the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Mom wherever you are, I forgive you and love you. I’m sorry you found it hard to love yourself.. but I also hold so much anger towards you.. I can’t help but wonder how my life could have turned out if you would have made better decisions for you & your children.

You did your best with the cards you were dealt, I’ll give you that. But now I’m 24 and stuck wondering what the h*ll I’m doing with my life and where all these emotions coming from.

I found this page because I was sad. Why was I sad.. you may ask?

I was sad because I can’t remember a single memory of my Mom reading me a bed time story. I remember crawling out of bed.. army crawling into her room.. waking her up so she could come lay with me… only to be screamed at by a “man” who was supposed to be a “stepfather”

And somehow I stumbled here to a place where it feels like I am not the only one who feels this way.

Thank you, Annie for making this page possible and many thanks to everyone who has / will comment here.

We’re all in this together, strangers or not.

Taking it one day at a time.

December 20, 2021 at 7:43 pm

Thank you so much for your comment and your vulnerability. You’re absolutely right, we’re all in this together! I know your story will touch many others who have had similar experiences. I’m sorry that your mom isn’t here for the talks you’d like to have with her. I’m proud of you for being here, for searching for help when you were sad and I urge you to reach out for more help if needed, you are so worth it.

If you also feel that either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you in processing the impacts of your childhood, I’d love to see you inside and work with you personally.

In the meantime, I am sending my very best.

January 6, 2022 at 9:05 pm

Hello, I’m a psychologist going through intense childhood grief. Unlike other stories, I’m not grieving how I was mistreated (despite the ignorance of my fellows about my mild autism), but rather how everything has changed and eventually faded into nothingness.

I just had an emotional breakdown. Even after 15 years, I still can’t get over the fact we moved, and many of my loved ones are gone. The most special family members to me. Watching old videotapes today made me feel how everything has shattered into pieces one way or another. It’s been so painful to watch: to think about visiting all those places again with all of them gone… I can’t express with words how much I’m grieving overall. My mind seems to be tricking me again as usual. Regardless, I believe this sorrow and sadness is a sign that my life shall end soon, perhaps the reason of my existence has banished, and I’m just filling a space at this point. That’s how I feel, empty… like I no longer serve a purpose; especially when I remember how happy and joyful my childhood was.

On the other hand, my depression has worsened so badly over the last few years, to the point that not even medication works anymore. It is as though this is the beginning of my end. I have enough money saved to seek the assisted suicide in Europe. After all, even if there isn’t an afterlife, my pain will end one way or another, and it’ll be forever. Hopefully, I might get the chance to reunite with my loved ones forever. Despite this, I can’t stop thinking about the intense pain I’ll leave behind in this world to so many people who “appreciate” me. Especially, those relatives of my close family. My mother has suffered a lot upon losing many loved ones recently, and she doesn’t deserve to go through more pain. Truth be told, I don’t know what to do at this point: whether finish my máster in Clinical Psychology in order to help people in my situation, or just accept the fact that my depression is terminal, and give up. There are lives that are meant to be shorter after all, and in my case, I’ve spent several years (I’m 25) going through this. I wonder why my parents decided to have me. Though I don’t blame them, because there was not such mental health awareness back in September 1995, when I was conceived. However, even though it makes me tear to write this, I believe they should’ve thought this before having children, before having me. Because mental disorders have a genetic component, it’s not welcome to give birth to a probability of a severe mental illness, that’s why mother should’ve aborted me… yet I was forced to exist without meaning it, but that’s a philosophical matter anyway.

I’m just wondering whether my life makes any sense at this point. Almost nothing brings me pleasure anymore, and many of the loved people and experiences I had are gone.

Please, someone help me to get out of this. I just want to Rest In Peace at this point.

January 12, 2022 at 2:26 am

Thank you so much for reaching out. I’m truly so sorry to hear that you are grieving and in pain. I urge you to seek support in processing everything you are dealing with and to not give up on finding the right treatment for your depression. Even if you don’t feel it right now, there is always hope. The fact that you are pursuing a degree in psychology tells me that you have a beautiful desire to help others and an empathy for those who are suffering.

Please do reach out to mental health crisis centers in your state/country if you feel yourself having self-harming thoughts.

January 21, 2022 at 12:37 pm

This was my first stop and read about why I always cry about my past. Nothing of the above actually happened to me- parents were together while I was at home, grandparents always there, so I’m left kind of thinking my grief isn’t real grief. Have been told by a few therapists I didn’t really need therapy. I’m thinking of my grief as more of a priveledged grief but not in any sort of monetarily rich kind of way. In a white priveledge kind of way and I am even more resentful and guilty feeling due to that also. Later in life real true traumas happened (raped, robbed, car accidents) but I don’t think about those as much as my past. I moved a lot so I was never able to learn how to have relationships with anyone friendly or otherwise past half a year to a couple years. What I do know is we are all here and experiencing everything for a reason even if it shouldn’t and doesn’t make sense. We aren’t anywhere near done or over yet.

January 25, 2022 at 2:29 am

Thank you for your comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your experience. I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t find the support you were looking for but I urge you to seek it out again if you feel if might be helpful. Your feelings are absolutely valid and you deserve to be supported while processing them. Please take such good care of yourself, you are so worth it.

January 28, 2022 at 4:43 am

Annie, thank you for publishing this piece. My mother left me when I was one year of age. My aunt took care of me because I was premature, my twin passed during utero. My father and his sister jointly took turn in taking care of me during my formative years; until the age of six. Then my aunt took care of me permanently. My aunt was very verbally abusive at times because of the abuse she went through with her father when she was maturing. I cried after hearing from my father that i had a half-brother, that was when I was five. I cried alone in the restroom. Then subsequently I had stayed in my bedroom more often that before. I became a loner and would try too meditate. When I was eight years of age, my father took me in against my aunt’s wishes along with his then fiance. His fiance was verbally and physically abusive to me – very much so. Then, my aunt gained full custody of me. After all of that trauma, I gave up. That was at age nine. I lost my soul. Then, I was legally adopted by my aunt and her husband. After seeing my father’s ex-fiance do drugs. That was the time I said that I will never do drugs and that was my only saving grace. Now, at the age of thirty-six and with no children and living a life of difficult contemplation – I don’t know if I will ever be happy. My relationships have been affected. I am an avoidant. At twenty-two years of age, I met my biological mother for the first time. We spoke in person. It went well, but she stopped communicating with me after two weeks. As of this day I cannot figure out what I felt and what was going on in my mind in conversing with her. Here I am, I am living and continue to hope that I will turn into that butterfly and feel whole as I did before I knew of my mother and half-brother. Again, thank you for writing this piece.

February 1, 2022 at 1:58 am

Hi Brandon,

Thank you for taking the time to comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear that you faced so much trauma from such an early age, you deserved to be loved and protected and I’m sorry that you didn’t have that from the adults around you. I’m proud of you for learning what not to do by watching your father’s ex-fiance. Please know that there is always hope for building a happy life in which you feel whole.

I encourage you to seek support in processing all you’ve been through and if either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you as you work toward a positive future for yourself, I’d love to support you there. In the meantime, please take such good care of yourself, you are so worth it.

January 28, 2022 at 10:17 pm

I had the feeling of all this over and over, the more I get older the more I feel the pain. I had the feeling that I regret and I wish in my own thoughts, but I know it will never happen as I need to accept the reality and it breaks my heart. I am an only child and my parents separated when I was in grade 4. I grew up with my grandparents for 4 years in my mother’s parents 4 years with my mom and 4 years with my father’s parents. I never felt any love from anyone, my father decided to stay with us since grade 4 and had his new life with his new wife. My mom and I were not together as I am in another country and married. I am still grieving and felt lost every time whenever I am alone. It was so hard for me to forget all the memories I had and I am even seeing in my dreams sometimes and it gives me more pain whenever I am waking up.

February 2, 2022 at 4:56 pm

Thank you for your comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your experience. I’m so sorry to hear of the difficult upbringing you had and I’m especially sorry to hear that you never felt loved. Please know that you are, and always have been, worthy of love. I urge you to seek support in healing from this pain so that you can move toward the positive future you deserve.

If I can support your healing in either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – I’d love to work with you there as you begin your path to a brighter future. In the meantime, please take care of yourself and know that I am truly sending you my very best.

February 3, 2022 at 7:56 am

It’s 2:41 AM as I am writing this from my parents house. I’m 23 years old and moved out for college when I was 18 and never went back. Every time I go back to visit and spend the night (it’s usually just a single night.. 2 max) I sleep on the couch because I no longer have a room. Every time I sleep on the couch I lay there restlessly till 6 am and think about every reason I hate coming back to my parents home. I hate that I don’t have a room or a bed. I hate that I don’t come home (the once a month that I do) to any home cooked meals, I hate that at 18 – 23 years old my mom doesn’t think to prepare me something to take back home to my apartment that I share with my roommate who’s parents always pack them food when they visits or how their family visits us even though we live almost an hour away. I envy that my roommates basic needs are fulfilled, especially because we are both young and financially unstable. Instead every time my mother calls I expect the call to be for her to ask for money from me.. as if I myself have enough to support myself. When I think back at my childhood I think about how I was never hugged as a child, I would wake up forced to clean the house, I was beat for not finishing my meal or for my mom not liking the way I opened my mouth to put the spoon in my mouth or getting beat because I was up late studying for an exam I had the following day in high school. My parents would pick me up from school 2 hours after dismissal in the snow when I’m standing outside in 10° weather, every time I needed something and called my mom- my calls would be ignored. I remember when I was in high school working at a store in the mall and watching a mother and daughter come out the nail salon and I had to hold back tears because I longed for something like that. My father plays victim for every reason that is wrong with our family and I for so long believed he was the victim, until I realized he is to blame for all this too. He once got drunk and upset with my mother and so he came and beat me in front of my all my friends and my friends family. I think about these things when I’m sad. And I’m sad all the time. I don’t want to be sad anymore. I’m hoping I can be financially stable enough to buy my parents a new home and to have my own room in it or maybe even just my own bed in one of my siblings rooms. Maybe then my childhood trauma will be somewhat healed.

February 7, 2022 at 4:35 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

Thank you for your comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I’m so very sorry to hear that your needs weren’t (and still aren’t) met by your parents and that you experienced abuse in your home. Your sadness is completely understandable – you deserve a bed in your family home and that home cooked meal. You are worthy of love, comfort and support.

Please know that healing and working toward a positive future filled with all you deserve is possible. I urge you to seek support in processing your sadness – most communities offer low-cost therapy or free support groups. In the future, I’d love to work with you in either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School as you build a wonderful future.

Until then, please take such good care of yourself, you are so worth it.

February 15, 2022 at 6:24 pm

As strange as it sounds, when I tell myself “stop grieving, nobody is going to help you” I am suddenly revived with new and vibrant energy. Grieving does help but we must not cripple ourselves by it. Part of a dysfunctional childhood is learning to save yourself.

February 21, 2022 at 7:35 pm

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your sharing your insight and agree that it’s important that we don’t allow ourselves to become crippled by grief. I’m glad to hear that you have found self-talk that is helpful to you! Sending you my best.

March 1, 2022 at 8:43 am

I’ve been crying a lot recently, because my childhood trauma has been coming back. I have abandonment issues and have experienced loneliness my whole life, but it was really prevalent in my childhood and teen years. My father left when I was 6 months old, and my mom was busy in college, so I grew up either alone or at my mom’s parents house. My grandparents and mom never played with me a kid, I usually played alone. I have a sister, but she’s 9 years younger, so I haven’t been able to connect with her. My family never really paid attention to me either, unless I did well in school. I was usually only praised when I showed my report cards, or other academic achievements.

Because my mom was in college, we moved every 1-3 years, so I have no idea how to make friends as a 21 year old. I hold so much anger towards my mom, because she doesn’t even use her masters anymore. She wasted my childhood. She’s the reason I don’t know how to make friends, she never paid enough attention to me to teach me or plan play dates with other kids. Because I don’t know how to make friends, I’ve felt lonely my whole life. Any friends I made in school eventually left me, I only have one friend I used to see once a month, but he moved to very far away recently. I only have my boyfriend, which I’m grateful for as he is very caring, patient and loving, but I know I can’t only rely on him for support.

What I tell myself is that I’m allowed to have these feelings, and that I’m gonna be there for that little girl who felt she had no one. I also tell myself that even though I have anger towards my mom, she was doing it in our best interests.

March 2, 2022 at 10:12 pm

Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing. I’m truly sorry that you’ve felt so much loneliness throughout your life. I want you to know that so many others feel like you do and you are never truly alone. You deserve to feel connected and supported as you work through your feelings and I’d love to offer some resources for you to explore.

You might enjoy my newsletter where I write extensively about relational trauma recovery and send high-quality essays out every two weeks. Are you on my mailing list yet? You can sign up directly here and/or via the quiz on my website: https://anniewright.com/newsletter/

If I can support you through either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – as you work toward a positive future for yourself, I’d love to work with you there. In the meantime, please know I’m sending you my very best.

March 13, 2022 at 9:49 am

I was an average child, but I had loads of energy, a big imagination, and a heart full of love, wonder, and excitement. I just came home after spending the first nine years of my life living in squalor overseas. And my house had stairs! What a gift. But my joy and enthusiasm were seen by some as a problem, and my school recommended that I see a psychiatrist. She put me on a cocktail of neuroleptic drugs, and the side effects were so debilitating that I didn’t grow and develop as I should have. More and more drugs were piled on over the course of ten years, with both my parents shamelessly neglecting my health, and dismissing me as crazy when I told them I didn’t feel well. My dad especially was very abusive towards me, and he callously allowed the doctors to keep drugging me senseless. At 19 years old, I finally got off the drugs, but I was scarred emotionally and couldn’t confront my feelings because I was stuck with an incompetent therapist who didn’t deal with my emotional scars in a professional way, instead calling me a bad boy and constantly mocking me and threatening me with violence. He only did this because it’s what my dad was paying him to do. Now my dad is dead, (and I feel free because of it, I’m unashamed to say!) And I’m seeing another therapist who really gets me. The grieving process has been extremely difficult and sometimes I have fleeting thoughts of suicide. But I remind myself that it won’t fix anything and that I still have a lot to live for. The thing that I noticed has really been helpful is to indulge myself with the things that can mimick in adulthood the experiences from childhood I never had. (For example, I obviously am too old to join little league, but I am seriously considering joining an amateur baseball league for adults. And also riding my bicycle, watching Spongebob, etc.) It will never bring any of it back, but I think it helps fill the void to some extent.

March 16, 2022 at 6:41 pm

Thank you for your comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your story with us. I’m sorry to hear of all you went through growing up and am so glad you’ve found a therapist who gets you. You deserve all of that childhood joy and more! Play baseball, ride your bike, watch cartoons – do whatever brings you the happiness you so richly deserve.

If I ever want additional support, I’d love to work with you in either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School . In the meantime, please know I’m sending you my very best.

March 14, 2022 at 7:25 pm

Thank you for this. I am a nanny to a sweet 1 year old boy. And today, seeing him playing with his parents just brought back so many hurtful memories I tried to forget. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic dad. We used to struggle so hard financially because of his addiction. Don’t get me wrong, he’s amazing and he takes care of me and my mom. But in that moment I felt so jealous. How is it that he can have two normal parents who are able to work, earn enough money to buy him everything he wants and they don’t have to worry. Im happy for them, but every time I see them play together I can’t help myself but get jealous. My parents tried their best to give me everything I needed, but I remember those times when we were struggling and my parents were fighting. It brings me so much pain thinking about how hard they had to work and the countless fights I used to witness. I am trying my best to be a good mom to my future children, I want to give them everything.

March 16, 2022 at 6:42 pm

Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing your story. I’m sorry that those hurtful memories are coming back. Please don’t be hard on yourself when feelings of jealousy pop up. I’d like to encourage you to seek support in exploring the feelings that are coming up. I love that you are thinking about being a good mom to your future children and know that they’ll be lucky to have you. Take such good care of yourself.

May 9, 2022 at 1:56 am

I don’t know if sharing this story will be cathartic but I think we all want to be seen at the level of our pain and accepted there. When I was 15, my dad told me he’d never speak to me if I didn’t apologize to my stepmom for her leaving me at the train station because I refused to participate in a bday party she threw for my sister on my bday to punish him. For the first time in my life I got the strength to say “No.” And as a result he told me that thought I was a bad influence on the other children and didn’t want me to come around anymore. I had tried my whole life to be perfect in order to get love. Even though this was years ago I still find myself struggling with relationships. I’ve done therapy. But it doesn’t seem to matter how much I talk about it or understand it, I feel bodily panic at times and I’m afraid to do something that will cause the person to leave. But my need for extra reassurance drives them away in the end or I end up with someone who mistreats me and struggling to leave. I wish I could stop living the past over and over again.

May 10, 2022 at 6:36 pm

Hi Samantha,

Thank you for taking the time to comment and for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I’m sorry for the way you were treated by your dad and stepmom and for the lasting impact it has had. You deserve to be supported as you fully heal from the past.

May 15, 2022 at 7:26 pm

Ooh I hear myself when I read you… I’ve struggled so much with self-acceptance… It’s only now that I am in a stable relationship that I feel somewhat at peace. But the feeling of abandonment if I’m not the perfect partner still lingers underneath, constantly…..

May 25, 2022 at 6:18 pm

Annie…thank you for this article. It really touches my heart with understanding.

Anna…thank you for sharing this. I am now a divorced parent with a 13 year old boy. My childhood was similar but I only had my mom. My dad had passed away before I was born. My mom drank and was physically and emotionally abusive. I grew up in and now live in an area surrounded by affluent people which made it difficult to find people who understand what it is like to wear your cousin shoes that were 3 sizes too big for a year because your mom didn’t buy you shoes. I am not in the same monetary bracket, but I moved back in the area so that my son could have a good education and resources to help him to be the best he can be. I remember junior high being the absolute worst experience. My mom was hateful, abusive, violent, and absent all at the same time. I was made fun of at school and any success I had was usurped by my mom praising herself for what a great job she was doing. I didn’t tell anyone what was happening for fear of being taken away. However, it was very lonely. I have done a lot of work to try to heal from these things. Christ helps me daily, but I still find that on occasion I get really sad when I see the other kids whose lives so full of fancy vacations, celebrations for birthdays, brand new toys like remote controlled hover boards, they have big families that get together, multiple houses etc. I sometimes feel bad that I cannot provide most of these things which is silly since most Americans cannot do this either. I am happy that there are kids who get to experience these things. So I come back to reality, but what is the most shocking to me is when I look at my son and I see how wonderful his middle school experience is going regardless of what I can or cannot afford (he has friends, he is excelling at sports, he enjoys going to school, he has gotten opportunities and invitations to compete in tournaments, he is playing violin and is pretty good at it, he has wonderful people around him who support him and cheer for him) I have waves of sadness for the things that I didn’t have. Don’t get me wrong I am so thankful that he is doing well and it means the world to me, but it really hits me sometimes as I remember how it was for me. It hits me sometimes like a gut punch. I always try to remember that the future hasn’t been written yet and I have choices now that I didn’t have back then. Yes it wasn’t fair, but if I can stop this cycle then I have succeeded in at least that. Thanks to everyone for reading and sharing. 🙂

June 22, 2022 at 11:24 pm

I want to move on with my life. I want to be free of the loss, hurt and damage. I spent more than a decade working hard grueling back breaking manual labor for my fathers construction company while being beaten, hit, jabbed, struck with tools, screamed at, and berated. At the end of the day I was sent to buy beer as a minor to bring to my father to get drink to then increase the likelihood and severity of beatings and screaming. My mother was screamed into submission and was an enabling doormat. My brother and sister the same. When not being beat I was put into double bind impossible options. Constantly criticized and told that I was worthless. I have suffered insomnia since age 5 until today at 58. I have suffered horrific nightmares and paralyzing anxiety. I have had 5 real friends in five years. Socially uncomfortable. Despite the foregoing, o have a wife of 30 years, two successful sons, a professional degree, my own company, two homes, and savings in the bank. Yet I have never pursued the career I wanted in automotive engineering snd mechanics or as a military aviator. I dislike my career, suffer from the immense pressures and responsibility. I have successful relationship but with a person who would date a cautious and nervous me instead of the bold fun loving exciting and daring me that never could exist. My career dreams are gone and lost. My opportunities to date and marry as I truly wanted smashed forever. To others o look successful and happy. Inside my life is ruined and I pray for death. I have paid for 35 years of therapy but therapy will not put me on the seat of a fighter jet, give me a military pension, or allow me to marry a beautiful fun loving 21 year old. I fail to see how sharing my misery with other damaged people will give me what I miss out of life or give me peace. Psychiatrist says I need no medicine. My brain works perfectly. I am having the appropriate response to real and actual events. I have tried meds nonetheless only to be made more anxious if I take them hyping up my already active brain. I have a genius IQ which only makes the mistreatment snd abuse seem all the more illogical and unfair. My brain being fast just reminds me of the damage done all the more efficiently. My advice never abuse a smart person, it’s just that much more painful. Therapy merely results in a relentless cacophony of “Just move on” “try acceptance” or “get over it”. I just keep asking when do I get to pursue wgat I want out of life. So where do I go to find true genuine happiness and fulfillment? When do I get experiences that don’t feel like a consolation prize? How does another victim telling me they feel my pain make me feel any better about what I’m missing? I am writing this under a pseudonym to avoid damage to my current relationships do not to lose what I do have. Thanks.

June 29, 2022 at 10:54 pm

I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing your story, I’m sure many can relate to how you’re feeling. I’m very sorry to hear that you didn’t have the safe, nurturing childhood that you deserved. As you’ve already discovered, therapy won’t put you in the seat of a fighter jet, but seeking the support of relational trauma therapist may give you the tools you need to fully heal from your past.

If you’d like to seek out a trauma therapist in your area, I’d recommend searching Psychology Today and filtering by zip codes and towns near you but then also filtering by “trauma” as a specialty — that should yield a decent amount of results and then you can explore each profile to see who specializes in childhood trauma (sometimes called developmental trauma or attachment trauma). I hope this information is helpful. Take good care of yourself.

August 13, 2022 at 10:21 pm

When I was growing up I would cry and cry and cry everyday I remember my parents saying “ stop crying you have no reason to cry” My dad would call me fat and disrespect my mom in front of me by cursing her out and screaming and arguing. As a kid I was so scared everytime I made a mistake and everytime I needed to cry or show emotion I would just run in the room and get in the bed to cry by myself because I knew showing emotion was not allowed. I am now in my 20s with an associate degree and I am currently in college but last semester my childhood hit me and caused me to be severely depressed which caused me to fail my classes but good thing I looked into going to therapy. Now I get scared to even talk to anybody because I don’t want them to snap on me. I really wish I could talk to my parents but when I told my mother I was depressed she said it’s because of my love life but that is not true at all. Also now I just feel so much anger towards them .I hope eventually I can heal from all of my childhood.

August 17, 2022 at 10:27 pm

Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your experience with us. I’m truly sorry that you didn’t receive the emotionally supportive childhood you deserved. Healing from your childhood can be possible with support.

If I can support you through my online course – Hard Families, Good Boundaries – as you work toward a positive future for yourself, I’d love to work with you there. In the meantime, please know I’m sending you my very best.

December 3, 2022 at 4:32 pm

December 8, 2022 at 7:51 pm

You’re so welcome, I hope this article felt helpful to you. Sending you my very best.

December 21, 2022 at 9:35 am

I came here after watching the 1984 musical / movie “Annie.” I last watched it as a kid 25-30 years ago and I remembered liking it. Now, I am a 42 year old woman and I still like it but I started crying and I wasn’t sure why. Then I remembered. I remembered the good things about the movie but I forgot how the movie made me feel. I remember now. I feel the same way then as I did then. I remember wishing I could run away and find a loving home as Annie did. I remember wishing for a dog like she had. I remember wanting my family to have money to care for me better like she had at the end. I remember wishing my parents were cool enough to take me to the movies or lovingly give me jewelry or show the kind of sudden and instant love like Annie had when she found Mr. Warbucks. I remember how Mr. Warbucks tried to teach Annie about life and wishing my dad had done that. Mainly, as a kid, I wished I could run away and find a loving family and wishing for a family that really wanted me and would encourage me and let me do fun things. I remember how far Mr. Warbucks went to help her and his kindness (and the secretary too) to her and wishing I could find that. How Annies days were filled with new wonders and lots of clean clothes and a nice place to live. I wanted to run away from the run down house we lived in and find a sweet and loving family too. I googled “how to stop crying about your childhood” and found your article. It’s very coincidental your name is Annie as well. I guess I hope there is some way you can help me. As a 42 year old woman, I cried for several hours over this. I can’t find a way to get past it. It seems the older I get the more the past hurts me. I feel like a lack of real love and tenderness and affection from my family crippled me. I tried to find that in a partner but have consistently failed. I can’t seem to find the kind of comfort I felt I missed as a child. No matter how much I work out, how hard I push myself at work and at school, that kind of peace of mind and comfort alludes me. No amount of kind words from myself help, I am probably not doing it right, but I never had a kind loving mother example to go on. I thought it would get easier over time, but it hasn’t. It’s gotten harder. The longer I go through life, the more bad things that happen in life and the more life beats me down, the longer it takes me to bounce back. I’ve battled cancer, divorce, financial struggle, and scores of luck so terrible I feel I’ve been born under an unlucky star and that I will never find my way out from all the devastation life has heaped on me. I can’t seem to find a way to get up from under it lately. My childhood saddens me more and more. The more I endure with life (right now I am waiting on a test to see if I have breast cancer again, they always put me through this every time I get a mammogram, they always find “something” and force me to endure more painful tests, procedures, and appointments), the more it seems to crush me to the ground, and the more I stagger and struggle to stand straight under the weight but it seems like I can barely do it. This world, the responsibility, the pressures of adulting are crushing me alive. I feel like I was never given the proper tools to endure this life and I working with less and less as I struggle ahead. I hate talking to people in groups and have had bad and accusatory counseling before and it never seemed to help. I don’t have the money for it anyway. Is there a book I can read to help?

December 21, 2022 at 9:05 pm

Hi Patricia,

First, I want to thank you for reaching out, I know that it’s not always easy. Secondly, but most importantly, I want to say that I’m truly sorry for the pain you’re in and that you didn’t have the childhood you deserved. Please know that there is always hope for healing. I understand that working with a trauma therapist isn’t always an option financially, which is why I offer my free blog in the hopes that it is a helpful resource available to everyone.

I’d like to recommend you start with my article, The Five Healing Tasks of the Un- and Under-parented . I hope the article itself is a helpful step toward healing for you, and in it, I include a list of my top 15 book recommendations for healing and other things. Please take such good care of yourself and know that I’m sending you my very best.

December 29, 2022 at 1:44 am

Thank you for this article, it is what I needed tonight to allow myself to release th feelings and the tears relating to memories of my childhood. I think just some of these early memories are so very sad and like you say, can be brought to the surface by the most ‘normal’ of everyday events. My mother and father didn’t get on – ever. They used to scream in each others’ faces and (in our house at the time) sometimes I would sit at the top of the stairs, looking down at them arguing, my heart beating so hard, worried as to what could happen. Sometimes my younger sister would join me crying and then, I would feel compelled to join in their screaming, pleaing with them to stop, for the sake of my sister, for the sake of our bedtime sleep which had been broken by their noise. My baby brother would be crying from his cot. It was very sad. Not once did I perceive any love between them nor do I harbour a single happy memory of them together. It all ended when one morning I came down those stairs, my mum wasn’t there but all over the floor was glass, smashed, wires ripped up, I remember lots of wires, brown and red everywhere – the TV, the hi-fi – everything smashed to smithereens. My father said a little later that he didn’t want my mother to have anything, that’s also the reason why he didn’t pay child support – he didn’t want her to have anything…what about us? My mother never showed affection. I lived with her and my father left my life very early on. I never had any hugs, emotional displays, bedtime stories, playtime together, affection. Just recently I hugged her and she physically pushed me away as if she was repulsed by me. She is undergoing therapy of her own but I always feel…did she not understand, she was all I had and instead she made me feel so small, hit me a lot, put me down and basicallly just made it seem (as was probably the case) that she hated me. Before a left for university, in one of our last arguments (she started from thin air, I never went out, stayed in my room alone reading) I told her, once I left I was never coming back, and I was right. We have never lived together again and I live in a different city. I have my own family and I can never ever in a million years imagine treating my children how my parents treated me – it is unfathomable – and I don’t aim for anything but to make them feel safe, secure and at home and at peace. Sometimes I feel very sad, and it is just a snippet of what I experiences growing up, it has affected me in so many negative ways, but also has directed my path in life, so I am also thankful I have survived – my sibling hasn’t been so lucky.

December 29, 2022 at 8:32 pm

Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing your story with us. I’m truly sorry that you didn’t have the love, peace, and safety in your childhood that you deserved. I’m proud of you for providing for your own children the kind of upbringing you missed out on. Please take good care of yourself and know that I’m sending you my very best.

February 28, 2023 at 4:56 am

What I’ve been looking for is how to grieve, sometimes for no reason I look back at my past and get upset and want to cry thinking about how sad I was and how unloved I felt. I guess you could say I was a momma’s boy but I didn’t get to be because I was raised by my dad and I never new when she was coming or going, this really effected me, I’m grown now and I feel good in life I’m not depressed or anything but sometimes I think about it and I just feel like I haven’t properly handled it if that makes sense, my dad is my super hero and I’m very thankful for him. There is just something that still has a hold on me

March 21, 2023 at 5:46 pm

I really appreciate everybody’s comments here. I feel like a failure for still feeling sad at my age (60’s) but seeing that other people feel the same way feels validating.

April 13, 2023 at 6:25 pm

I stumbled across this post as I Google for the millionth time, trying to find a cure for endless grief that subsides but then re-emerges feeling stronger & less healed than before.

The trajectory of grief is so confusing, I’ve done so much work around my childhood but it never seems to end & the fear of knowing that another trough can come at any time hangs over my head.

My parents were victims of CEN & they passed it onto me. They divorced when I was around 10 & I went to live with my Mum & her “lodger”. My Dad remarried an insecure, jealous woman & I felt utterly unloved & actively despised at both houses.

I spend a lot of time on my own, wondering why I felt like I was watching myself in the third person; why I couldn’t concentrate; why I felt detached. It’s taken me to reach 50 years old to know the “why” of all these questions but I actually feel worse for knowing the “why”.

I can no longer delude myself of the true horror of what I was put through for years, of having no adults to advocate on my behalf, (I’m on only child).

I was thrown out at 16 by my Mum then at 17 by my Dad. I moved 300 miles away & vowed to make a success of my life without them. By some objective measures I did just that. I got a degree, a great job, I excelled in my career, but the depression, anxiety, panic attacks & existential loneliness remain & achievements never quell them.

I wasn’t able to have my own children either so I’m grieving that too. Not being able to have my own family is excruciating, i have so much love to give. I feel anger towards peers who take for granted their families & have no understanding or comprehension of the pain I’m in. I rarely mention it lest I encounter well-meaning emotional invalidation, pity or the sentiment that I “should” be over this now – or other knife-in-heart platitudes.

From the outside I look like an attractive, successful, talented woman, but I’m dying inside & I’d swap everything I’ve achieved in a heartbeat in order to feel part of a family of origin & a family of my own making.

Sometimes I wonder whether there’s any point continuing, the pain is excruciating, never-ending & largely misunderstood and / or devalued as something insignificant.

I just want to be part of a family, but I don’t think I ever will be & there’s huge shame associated with that; like I wasn’t chosen & that that means i’m intrinsically lovable, unwanted, destined to watch on from the periphery as everyone else has their place in a unit.

I feel like I’ve been denied the most fundamental aspect to being a human, but worse still, most other people can’t see what I’ve been robbed of – and even if I tell them they don’t understand.

I no longer know how to help myself & I isolate myself as i don’t feel like anyone truly cares let alone understands.

Any advice?

April 19, 2023 at 6:46 pm

I know this was published a long time ago but I’ve only just found it, I’ve read 2 or 3 of your essays and they’ve spoken to me in a way nothing else has. 3 months ago memories of severe childhood trauma suddenly started resurfacing, having been buried for 35 years or so and my life has shattered. I’m getting intense flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts. I feel hopeless, lost, worthless. Life feels impossible, it fills my every waking thought. I don’t know how to begin dealing with this and cannot even contemplate talking about it, I don’t know what to do.

June 4, 2023 at 3:10 pm

Much of what you have said here is spot on, especially the examples of how it might look and feel from the inside to have residual grief and processing work to do in regard to a disrupted development.

I do have to add though that it is presumptuous to assume that because a family presents someone with 100K for a down payment for a house that it means that they are healthier or more stable than one that cannot afford that sort of transaction. There are so many layers of error in that sort of thinking that they can not easily be listed here in the comments section of an article.

July 5, 2023 at 7:50 pm

I love this article. I do object to the part where you say “Like with real grief…” though. This IS “real grief.”

August 16, 2023 at 9:06 pm

I googled “grieving the life you never had” and found this entry. I’ve since done some exploring on your blog and I’m grateful to you for the time and effort, and quality you’ve put into it. Thank you.

On this entry as you said we won’t likely ever stop feeling sad about something so wounding as an effed up childhood. It happened, it hurt, it had a cost. Feeling sad about the price we had to pay, the losses then and the way the experience influenced our choice or our ability to make informed, healthy choices since is appropriate. I know that, but each time I read or hear it I believe what I know a little more fervently.

Like others here I’m in my 60s and it’s only been the last year that the notion of grieving “what wasn’t” began to make any sense. Now it seems central to my recovery. Your blog has already given me a lift toward that end and I think I’m going to be spending some time here. Take care,

August 18, 2023 at 2:27 pm

Wow! This subject hits home! Have you written a book on the subject of “grieving”, loss and associated pain? I would appreciate your insight on the issue. Patrick 707-599-7695

August 24, 2023 at 4:21 pm

I think what I grieve most is the loss of what I could have been and could have had. I still sell myself short all the time and at age 61, I am never going to have the career I could have had if I had not thought I was stupid and worthless.

March 3, 2024 at 2:06 pm

Your article was extremely helpful. Had an Asperger mother and a narcissistic father. Never understood why I was the only one five children that felt negatively about my childhood. The fact that I was an HSP made me understand the differences that I experienced. Trying to balance the things I didn’t receive with the fact that they couldn’t give me what they didn’t have had been a tough journey. I always thought “my real parents” who come knocking on the door someday.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Childhood Memories / Childhood Memories: A Treasure Trove of Life’s Sweetest Moments

Childhood Memories: A Treasure Trove of Life's Sweetest Moments

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