do you know yourself essay

Looking for Your True Self? 10 Strategies for Self-Knowledge

Follow these 10 pathways to a more vital sense of self..

Posted March 18, 2016 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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The what and the how of self-knowledge

What do people mean when they advise you to “know yourself"?

That was the subject of this post , where I described six key elements of self-knowledge. To remember them, just memorize this simple acronym: VITALS. “VITALS” (or “VITAL Signs”) stands for:

• I nterests/Passions
• T emperament
• A round-the-Clock ( biorhythms )
• L ife Purpose/ Goals
• S trengths/Skills

I loved creating the acronym “VITALS,” because, well, I love acronyms, and VITALS reflects a happy reality—once you know something about yourself and act on it, you actually do build a more vital sense of self. (For more details on VITALS, click here .)

So now you know what to look for. But how do you learn about your VITAL signs? And where can you find them?

The process can be haphazard and serendipitous. You may have a teacher who tells you that you have a strength in math or science, and the seed of a career idea is planted. You may become outraged when you witness or experience an injustice and decide you have a life goal to rectify this wrong. You may be one of the happy few who can build a life around an outstanding interest or passion , like pop star Gwen Stefani who said , “When I was able to first write a song, that’s when I found my whole self.”

While luck and genes play a part in learning who you are, you can also apply deliberate strategies to help you find your true self. Think of your search as a treasure hunt, with clues and red herrings scattered along the way. Here are 10 useful strategies to use:

10 Strategies of Self-Discovery

1. Listen to compliments and absorb them. If you have a tendency to dismiss or brush off compliments, stop! While it’s true that some people might manipulate you through compliments, many more might be noticing one of your VITAL signs—something you yourself may have overlooked. In 11th grade, my English teacher wrote at the top of one of my papers: “Do you like to write? There’s much in this essay that says that you do.” Although I took another career path, I never forgot this comment, and here I am writing after all. (Thanks, Helen Hollander!)

Knowing your own strengths is one of the foundations of self-confidence as well as of self-knowledge. Become a person who “takes in the good,” listening for compliments that could be clues to your strengths.

2. Notice your emotions and "flow" states.

When do you get happily lost in whatever you are doing? Flow states are a clue to what is satisfying to your true self. Positive feeling states like love, joy, and contentment can also contain clues.

Even negative emotions can help you out in your quest for self-knowledge. At times, emotions like anger , sadness, and fear can tell you what you may need to confront, accept, or change in your life. At other times, these same emotions might hint at people, places, or things you need to minimize or avoid to maintain your selfhood and sanity.

3. Notice what you are thinking.

Yes, mindfulness . Of course, you can meditate in order to observe the contents of your mind. But you can also just be mindful of the thoughts that arise on a minute-by-minute basis. These thoughts can guide you toward a better understanding of yourself. For example, your friend persuades you to buy a particular dress; this purchase sparks regret, not joy, because you wish you’d saved the money. Now you realize that at this moment you value savings over more possessions. A VITAL sign?

4. Become friends with your mistakes.

Learning to be yourself is easier when you develop a growth mindset —the ability to see a hard problem as a challenge rather than a stress . When you don’t have to be perfect, you can accept your mistakes, recognize that your missteps could lead to a potential learning experience, and figure out what you could do differently the next time.

Even outright failure, while painful, can be a spur to new directions. Terry Gross , the revered NPR host of “Fresh Air,” started out as an eighth grade teacher in an inner-city public school in 1972. She couldn’t control the class and was fired after six weeks. Think of all the wonderful interviews the public would have missed had she stayed—unhappily—in teaching!

5. Keep a journal or take time to reflect.

Keep a journal of the moments that might be clues to your identity . I love the now-classic “Three Good Things” exercise: At day’s end, think of three good things that you did, or that happened to you, during the day. Research indicates that this activity will increase your happiness quotient, as well as strengthen your “ gratitude attitude.” But it can also highlight moments that gave you a measure of satisfaction or self-confidence, and those moments could be clues to your VITAL signs. Example: You are playing with your niece and notice that you handled several tricky situations well. Clue?

6. Listen to other people, but make and live by your own decisions.

Assuming you are an adult, with an adult’s complicated life, only you know what is best for you in the long run. When you make your own decisions—however they turn out, you pave the way for self-knowledge. Develop a healthy suspicion of “shoulds.” What do you want ?

7. Talk to a therapist or counselor.

In your search for self, you may get blocked by various barriers, both internal and external. (I’ll write more about these in an upcoming blog.) A therapist or career counselor can help remove these barriers and/or help you explore new paths and grow in new directions.

8. Try personality and temperament tests.

While best done under a mental health professional’s supervision, you can also find versions of well-researched personality and temperament tests on the Internet. Although I haven’t tested out these free versions myself, you might find them helpful … as long as you take them with a few grains of salt:

Career builder The Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator (MBTI) Holland Code Career Test

Caution 1: Some tests on the Internet lack scientific validity. Watch out! Caution 2: Remember, no test is the final authority on you. You are!

9. Practice assertiveness .

You may know yourself, but can you be yourself? When you express your feelings, wants, needs, and opinions in a direct, honest, and appropriate way, you are being assertive. You are also strengthening your sense of self. Example: Your spouse is critical of something you did and yells at you. You reply, “Don’t speak to me that way. If there’s something wrong, I’ll talk about it--but without the yelling.” Now you know: Being treated with respect is important to you. You can defend yourself.

10. Surround yourself with good people who accept you and foster your growth.

Some friends and relatives help you become your best self, while others thwart your self-expression and self-discovery. While you can probably learn something from all of them, you may find that your path is easier when most of the people you associate with have your best interests at heart and leave you free to follow your own star.

Some people think there’s no such thing as a “true self.” I disagree. When your outer life and actions are congruent with your inner VITAL Signs, you experience a strong and distinct sense of self. Life becomes more exciting and vibrant.

But it IS true that we evolve over time, and your true self is constantly evolving, expanding, and contracting, again and again. Knowing yourself is a dynamic process, not a static one. Your true self is less like a snapshot and more like a video.

What experiences, books, ideas, and people have helped you “find yourself"?

© Meg Selig, 2016. All rights reserved.

If you benefited from this post, you might also enjoy these:

• "Know Yourself? 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are"
• "The Assertiveness Habit"
• Living With Integrity (Cynthia Kane)

For more on habits, health, and happiness, scroll down to my photo below and follow me on Facebook , Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success .

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August 7, 2018 | Kenneth Best - UConn Communications

Know Thyself: The Philosophy of Self-Knowledge

Dating back to an ancient Greek inscription, the injunction to 'know thyself' has encouraged people to engage in a search for self-understanding. Philosophy professor Mitchell Green discusses its history and relevance to the present.

From Socrates to today's undergraduates, philosophy professor Mitchell Green discusses the history and current relevance of the human quest for self-knowledge. (Getty Images)

UConn philosopher Mitchell S. Green leads a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) titled Know Thyself: The Value and Limits of Self-Knowledge  on the online learning platform Coursera. The course is based on his 2018 book (published by Routledge) of the same name. He recently spoke with Ken Best of UConn Today about the philosophy and understanding of self-knowledge. This is an edited transcript of their discussion.

Q. ‘Know Thyself’ was carved into stone at the entrance to Apollo’s temple at Delphi in Greece, according to legend. Scholars, philosophers, and civilizations have debated this question for a long time. Why have we not been able to find the answer?

A. I’m not sure that every civilization or even most civilizations have taken the goal to achieve self-knowledge as being among the most important ones. It comes and goes. It did have cachet in the Greece of 300-400 BC. Whether it had similar cachet 200 years later or had something like cultural importance in the heyday of Roman civilization is another question. Of course some philosophers would have enjoined people to engage in a search for self-understanding; some not so much. Likewise, think about the Middle Ages. There’s a case in which we don’t get a whole lot of emphasis on knowing the self, instead the focus was on knowing God. It’s only when Descartes comes on the scene centuries later that we begin to get more of a focus on introspection and understanding ourselves by looking within. Also, the injunction to “know thyself” is not a question, and would have to be modified in some way to pose a question. However, suppose the question is, “Is it possible to know oneself, either in part or fully.” In that case, I’d suggest that we’ve made considerable progress in answering this question over the last two millennia, and in the Know Thyself book, and in the MOOC of the same name, I try to guide readers and students through some of what we have learned.

Q. You point out that the shift Descartes brought about is a turning point in Western philosophy.

A. Right. It’s for various reasons cultural, political, economic, and ideological that the norm of self-knowledge has come and gone with the tides through Western history. Even if we had been constantly enjoined to achieve self-knowledge for the 2,300 years since the time Socrates spoke, just as Sigmund Freud said about civilization – that civilization is constantly being created anew and everyone being born has to work their way up to being civilized being – so, too, the project of achieving self-knowledge is a project for every single new member of our species. No one can be given it at birth. It’s not an achievement you get for free like a high IQ or a prominent chin. Continuing to beat that drum, to remind people of the importance of that, is something we’ll always be doing. I’m doubtful we’ll ever reach a point we can all say: Yup, we’re good on that. We’ve got that covered, we’ve got self-knowledge down. That’s a challenge for each of us, every time somebody is born. I would also say, given the ambient, environmental factors as well as the predilections that we’re born with as part of our cognitive and genetic nature, there are probably pressures that push against self-knowledge as well. For instance, in the book I talk about the cognitive immune system that tends to make us spin information in our own favor. When something goes bad, there’s a certain part of us, hopefully within bounds, that tends to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. That’s probably a good way of getting yourself up off the floor after you’ve been knocked down.

Q. Retirement planners tell us you’re supposed to know yourself well enough to know what your needs are going to be – create art or music, or travel – when you have all of your time to use. At what point should that point of getting to know yourself better begin?

A. I wouldn’t encourage a 9-year-old to engage in a whole lot of self-scrutiny, but I would say even when you’re young some of those indirect, especially self-distancing, types of activities, can be of value. Imagine a 9-year-old gets in a fight on the playground and a teacher asks him: Given what you said to the other kid that provoked the fight, if he had said that to you, how would you feel? That might be intended to provoke an inkling of self-knowledge – if not in the form of introspection, in the form of developing empathetic skills, which I think is part of self-knowledge because it allows me to see myself through another’s eyes. Toward the other end of the lifespan, I’d also say in my experience lots of people who are in, or near, retirement have the idea they’re going to stop working and be really happy. But I find in some cases that this expectation is not realistic because so many people find so much fulfillment, and rightly so, in their work. I would urge people to think about what it is that gives them satisfaction? Granted we sometimes find ourselves spitting nails as we think about the challenges our jobs present to us. But in some ways that frequent grumbling, the kind of hair-pulling stress and so forth, these might be part of what makes life fulfilling. More importantly, long-term projects, whether as part of one’s career or post-career, tend I think to provide more intellectual and emotional sustenance than do the more ephemeral activities such as cruises, safaris, and the like.

Q. We’re on a college campus with undergraduates trying to learn more about themselves through what they’re studying. They’re making decisions on what they might want to do with the rest of their life, taking classes like philosophy that encourage them to think about this. Is this an optimal time for this to take place?

A. For many students it’s an optimal time. I consider one component of a liberal arts education to be that of cultivation of the self. Learning a lot of stuff is important, but in some ways that’s just filling, which might be inert unless we give it form, or structure. These things can be achieved through cultivation of the self, and if you want to do that you have to have some idea of how you want it to grow and develop, which requires some inkling of what kind of person you think you are and what you think you can be. Those are achievements that students can only attain by trying things and seeing what happens. I am not suggesting that a freshman should come to college and plan in some rigorous and lockstep way to learn about themselves, cultivate themselves, and bring themselves into fruition as some fully formed adult upon graduation. Rather, there is much more messiness; much more unpredictable try things, it doesn’t work, throw it aside, try something else. In spite of all that messiness and ambient chaos, I would also say in the midst of that there is potential for learning about yourself; taking note of what didn’t go well, what can I learn from that? Or that was really cool, I’d like to build on that experience and do more of it. Those are all good ways of both learning about yourself and constructing yourself. Those two things can go hand-in-hand. Self-knowledge, self-realization, and self-scrutiny can happen, albeit in an often messy and unpredictable way for undergraduates. It’s also illusory for us to think at age 22 we can put on our business clothes and go to work and stop with all that frivolous self-examination. I would urge that acquiring knowledge about yourself, understanding yourself is a lifelong task.

Q. There is the idea that you should learn something new every day. A lot of people who go through college come to understand this, while some think after graduation, I’m done with that. Early in the book, you talk about Socrates’ defense of himself when accused of corrupting students by teaching them in saying: I know what I don’t know, which is why I ask questions.

It seems to me the beginning of wisdom of any kind, including knowledge of ourselves, is acknowledgment of the infirmity of our beliefs and the paucity of our knowledge. — Mitchell S. Green

A. That’s very important insight on his part. That’s something I would be inclined to yell from the rooftops, in the sense that one big barrier to achieving anything in the direction of self-knowledge is hubris, thinking that we do know, often confusing our confidence in our opinions with thinking that confidence is an indication of my degree of correctness. We feel sure, and take that surety itself to be evidence of the truth of what we think. Socrates is right to say that’s a cognitive error, that’s fallacious reasoning. We should ask ourselves: Do I know what I take myself to know? It seems to me the beginning of wisdom of any kind, including knowledge of ourselves, is acknowledgment of the infirmity of our beliefs and the paucity of our knowledge; the fact that opinions we have might just be opinions. It’s always astonishing to me the disparity between the confidence with which people express their opinions, on one hand, and the negligible ability they have to back them up, especially those opinions that go beyond just whether they’re hungry or prefer chocolate over vanilla. Those are things over which you can probably have pretty confident opinions. But when it comes to politics or science, history or human psychology, it’s surprising to me just how gullible people are, not because they believe what other people say, so to speak, but rather they believe what they themselves say. They tend to just say: Here is what I think. It seems obvious to me and I’m not willing to even consider skeptical objections to my position.

Q. You also bring into the fold the theory of adaptive unconscious – that we observe and pick up information but we don’t realize it at the time. How much does that feed into people thinking that they know themselves better than they do and know more than they think they do?

A. It’s huge. There’s a chapter in the book on classical psychoanalysis and Freud. I argue that the Freudian legacy is a broken one, in the sense that while his work is incredibly interesting – he made a lot of provocative and ingenious claims interesting – surprisingly few of them have been borne out with empirical evidence. This is a less controversial view than it was in the past. Experimental psychologists in the 1970s and 80s began to ask how many of those Freudian claims about the unconscious can be established in a rigorous, experimental way? The theory of the adaptive unconscious is an attempt to do that; to find out how much of the unconscious mind that Freud posited is real, and what is it like. One of the main findings is that the unconscious mind is not quite as bound up, obsessed with, sexuality and violence as posited by Freud. It’s still a very powerful system, but not necessarily a thing to be kept at bay in the way psychoanalysis would have said. According to Freud, a great deal with the unconscious poses a constant threat to the well-functioning of civilized society, whereas for people like Tim Wilson, Tanya Chartrand, Daniel Gilbert, Joseph LeDoux, Paul Ekman, and many others, we’ve got a view that says that in many ways having an adaptive unconsciousness is a useful thing, an outsourcing of lots of cognition. It allows us to process information, interpret it, without having to consciously, painstakingly, and deliberately calculate things. It’s really good in many ways that we have adaptive unconscious. On the other hand, it tends to predispose us, for example, to things like prejudice. Today there is a discussion about so-called implicit bias, which has taught us that because we grew up watching Hollywood movies where protagonist heroes were white or male, or both; saw stereotypes in advertising that have been promulgated – that experience, even if I have never had a consciously bigoted, racist, or sexist thought in my life, can still cause me to make choices that are biased. That’s a part of the message on the theory of adaptive unconscious we would want to take very seriously and be worried about, because it can affect our choices in ways that we’re not aware of.

Q. With all of this we’ve discussed, what kind of person would know themselves well?

A. Knowing oneself well would, I suspect, be a multi-faceted affair, only one part of which would have to do with introspection as that notion is commonly understood. One of these facets involves acknowledging your limitations, “owning them” as my Department of Philosophy colleague Heather Battaly would put it. Those limitations can be cognitive – my lousy memory that distorts information, my tendency to sugarcoat any bad news I may happen to receive? Take the example of a professor reading student evaluations. It’s easy to forget the negative ones and remember the positive ones – a case of “confirmation bias,” as that term is used in psychology. Knowing that I tend to do that, if that’s what I tend to do, allows me to take a second look, as painful as it might be. Again, am I overly critical of others? Do I tend to look at the glass as overly half full or overly half empty? Those are all limitations of the emotional kind, or at least have an important affective dimension. I suspect a person who knows herself well knows how to spot the characteristic ways in which she “spins” or otherwise distorts positive or negative information, and can then step back from such reactions, rather than taking them as the last word.

I’d also go back to empathy, knowing how to see things from another person’s point of view. It is not guaranteed to, but is often apt to allow me to see myself more effectively, too. If I can to some extent put myself into your shoes, then I also have the chance to be able to see myself through your eyes and that might get me to realize things difficult to see from the first-person perspective. Empathizing with others who know me might, for instance, help to understand why they sometimes find me overbearing, cloying, or quick to judge.

Q. What would someone gain in self-knowledge by listening to someone appraising them and speaking to them about how well they knew them? How does that dynamic help?

A. It can help, but it also can be shocking. Experiments have suggested other people’s assessments of an individual can often be very out of line with that person’s self-assessment. It’s not clear those other person’s assessments are less accurate – in some cases they’re more accurate – as determined by relatively well-established objective psychological assessments. Third-person assessments can be both difficult to swallow – bitter medicine – and also extremely valuable. Because they’re difficult to swallow, I would suggest taking them in small doses. But they can help us to learn about ourselves such things as that we can be unaccountably solicitous, or petty, or prone to one-up others, or thick-skinned. I’ve sometimes found myself thinking while speaking to someone, “If you could hear yourself talking right now, you might come to realize …” Humblebragging is a case in point, in which someone is ostensibly complaining about a problem, but the subtext of what they’re saying might be self-promoting as well.

All this has implications for those of us who teach. At the end of the semester I encourage my graduate assistants to read course evaluations; not to read them all at once, but instead try to take one suggestion from those evaluations that they can work on going into the next semester. I try to do the same. I would not, however, expect there ever to be a point at which one could say, “Ah! Now I fully know myself.” Instead, this is more likely a process that we can pursue, and continue to benefit from, our entire lives.

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What does it mean to know yourself?

The importance and benefits of knowing one's self, how to know yourself better, how to improve your self-knowledge, how coaching can help.

Think of the most eccentric person in your life. You know the one. 

The one who either shows up in a disheveled leather jacket or an all-black outfit and a beret. They’re somewhat aloof but always energetic. Unapologetically flamboyant, but always kind and understanding. This person chooses to be themselves, not who they’re expected to be. 

They don’t care about the world’s expectations. This sometimes gets them into trouble or attracts judging glares from nearby strangers. But, you have to admit, it would be nice to have that kind of self-confidence . And you can!

In a world rife with expectations, living authentically can feel impossible. It feels easier to have your path planned for you. But, in the long run, this will only hold you back from living a fulfilling life.

The great philosopher Socrates said it himself: “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” 

So if you’re wondering whether authenticity is worth pursuing, the short answer is “yes.” And, for the detail-oriented among you, here’s everything you need to know about the importance of knowing yourself — so you too can find your true self.

Knowing yourself is about discovering what makes you tick. Among other things, it means:

• Learning your likes and dislikes
• Unearthing your beliefs and values
• Knowing your personal boundaries
• Accepting your personality traits
• Being a better team player
• Having a clearer path in your professional life
• Understanding how you interact with others
• Recognizing your core personal values
• Increasing your capacity for self-compassion
• Having a clearer idea of your life’s purpose
• Knowing what it takes to be self-motivated
• Being more adaptable  

Ultimately, all of these things will increase your self-awareness . Being more self-aware lends to enhanced self-development, acceptance, and proactivity while benefiting our overall mental health .

We’ll be more confident, make better decisions, have stronger relationships, and be more honest .

Knowing yourself is about knowing what makes you tick. It means identifying what matters to you, your strengths and weaknesses, your behaviors, tendencies, and thought patterns. This list describes the importance and benefits of knowing one's self:

1. Despite your quirks, flaws, and insecurities, you learn self-love and acceptance. Once you do, you can walk through the world with more confidence and care less about what people think. 

2. You can change your personality flaws and improve on your weaknesses. You are empowered to become who you want to be. This will help you become a better, more well-rounded person.

3. You’ll have more emotional intelligence , which is key to knowing others. You’ll be more conscious of your own emotions and feelings, making it easier to understand another person's point of view.

4. You'll be more confident. Self-doubt disappears when you know and accept yourself, and others won't influence you as easily. It'll be easier to stand your ground .

5. You’ll forge better relationships. It’s easier to share yourself when you know yourself. You’ll also know what kind of people you get along with, so you can find your community .

6. You’ll be less stressed. Self-awareness will help you make decisions that are better for you. And when this happens, you become less stressed about what people think or whether you made the right choice. 

7. You’ll break patterns of disappointment. Y ou'll find repetitive behaviors that lead to poor outcomes when you look inward. Once you name them, you can break them.

8. You’ll be happier. Expressing who you are, loud and proud, will help you improve your well-being.

10. You'll have more self-worth. Why is self-worth important? Because it helps you avoid compromising your core values and beliefs. Valuing yourself also teaches others to respect you.

11. You'll understand your values. We can’t understate the importance of knowing your values. They will help you make decisions aligned with who you are and what you care about.

12. You'll find purpose in life. Knowing purpose in life will give you a clear idea of where you should go and what you should do. 

Getting to know yourself is hard. It involves deep self-reflection, honesty, and confronting parts of yourself you might be afraid of. But it’s a fundamental part of self-improvement .

If you need help, try working with a professional. BetterUp can help you navigate your inner world.

Now that we’re clear on the importance of knowing yourself, you might not know where to get started. Let’s get into it.

Check your VITALS

Author Meg Selig coined the term VITALS as a guide for developing self-knowledge. Its letters spell out the six core pillars of self-understanding:

These are your guides for decision-making and setting your goals. Understanding them will help you make decisions aligned with your authentic self. Here are some example values:

• Being helpful
• Trust 
• Wealth 

You can see how each of these might lead to different life choices. For example, if you value honesty, you might quit a job where you have to lie to others.

2. I nterests

Your interests are what you do without being asked, like your hobbies, passions, and causes you care about. You can then try to align your work with these interests. Here are some examples:

• Climate change. If you’re passionate about this issue, you might choose to work directly on the problem. Or you can make choices that allow for a more sustainable lifestyle, like owning an electric car.
• Audio editing. Perhaps you’re an amateur musician, and you spend your time recording and editing audio. You can start working as a freelance editor or find a job that uses these skills.
• Fitness. If you love working out and value helping others, you might consider becoming a trainer at your local gym or leading a running group.

Not all of your interests need to be a side-hustle . But being aware of them can help you make decisions that better suit your desired life. It is really about knowing your priorities.

3. T emperament

Your temperament describes where your energy comes from. You might be an introvert and value being alone. Or, as an extrovert, you find energy being around others.

Knowing your temperament will help you communicate your needs to others. 

If you’re a meticulous planner going on a trip, you should communicate this to your more spontaneous travel buddy. They might feel suffocated by your planning, leading to arguments down the road. Bringing it up before your trip will help talk it out to avoid conflict later.

4. A round-the-clock activities

This refers to when you like to do things. If you’re a writer and you’re more creative at night, carve out time in the evening to work. If you prefer working out in the morning, make it happen. Aligning your schedule with your internal clock will make you a happier human being.

5. L ife-mission and goals

Knowing your life mission is about knowing what gives your life meaning. It gives you purpose, a vocation , and something to strive for.

To find your life mission, think about what events were most meaningful to you so far. For example:

• Leading a successful project at the office
• Influencing positive change through your work
• Helping someone else succeed

There are many ways to fulfill a life mission. You can fulfill your goals with the skills and resources you have. For example, “helping someone succeed” could mean becoming a teacher or mentoring a young professional.

6. S trengths and weaknesses

These include both “hard skills” (like industry-specific knowledge and talents) and “soft skills” (like communication or emotional intelligence ).

When you do what you’re good at, you’re more likely to succeed, which will improve your morale and mental health.

Knowing your weaknesses and toxic traits will help you improve on them or minimize their influence on your life.

Are you ready to get started? There are many ways to understand your inner self:

• Write in a journal
• Step out of your comfort zone
• Track your progress
• Choose smart habits

A professional coach will encourage you to reflect on and reframe your inner thoughts and patterns. They understand that, in many cases, impulsivity holds you back from attaining your full potential.

The amygdala — an almond-sized region of the brain partially responsible for emotions — releases dopamine to reinforce impulsive behavior . This happens every time you open Facebook instead of working, eat chocolate while on a diet, or get angry at your colleagues instead of helping solve the problem.

Self-awareness can help you overcome your impulsivity. Armed with the right tools, you can break unhealthy or unwanted behaviors. 

A coach can help you meet these ends. They can teach you:

• Mindfulness: the acceptance that nothing is inherently good or bad 
• Metacognition: the awareness that your mind is the root of your actions
• Reframing: the power to react differently to an event or circumstance

These three elements can help you strengthen your self-control . You'll keep a cool head in stressful situations, communicate more effectively with others, and become a better leader overall.

In other words: by checking in with yourself, you avoid wrecking yourself.

At BetterUp , our coaches are trained in Inner Work® and understand the importance of knowing yourself. This is a lifetime journey. But together, we can make your life better.

Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

The benefits of knowing yourself: Why you should become your own best friend

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The Importance of Knowing Yourself

A couple of days ago, I wrote about Permission Granted: Say YES to Yourself. I had a number of people share information with me about that post and people started say yes to themselves for the first time in a long time. One question really hit home for me though – the question was “What if you don’t know who you are?”

Don’t worry, I can relate to this question so deeply… It wasn’t that long ago, I have been in a similar place. Actually when I was  playing professional tennis , I had a lot of people talk to me about tennis and I had invested a lot of time as a tennis player.

Then when tennis was over for me professionally, I started to go on a search to find out who I was. Back then, I had little idea of who or what I was and am grateful for that time when  “The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  ~ Anaï s  Nin and I have been discovering my true Self ever since.

What Does Knowing Yourself Mean?

Socrates said it so well ~  “Know Thyself.” 

Knowing yourself is not about the skimming the surface like finding a favourite colour or music you like (although they may give you some clues). Knowing yourself is about delving much deeper.

Knowing yourself is an adventure. It is about discovering who you are as a human being – yes the real you. The journey is unpredictable and engages you deeply as it brings you face-to-face with your deepest fears, self-doubts, vulnerabilities and insecurities.

On the adventure you question how you are living your life and whether or not it is in alignment with your highest purpose. And if you don’t yet know your highest purpose, allow yourself to live in that space of not knowing.

The adventure around knowing yourself can be challenging and scary, however it also changes over time. For me remembering  “This Too Shall Pass ” has been a gift and the work does pay off – but not the way we may expect (well it wasn’t for me!).

Knowing yourself means giving yourself permission to not knowing whilst unravelling the deeper truth of who you are. It is about listening to a deeper calling and wisdom within, whilst following your heart. Knowing yourself is about being aware of your core values, priorities and dreams (yes even if you don’t remember them yet).

Knowing yourself means respecting (but not attaching to) your strengths and limitations, your passions and fears, your desires and dreams, your thoughts and feelings, your likes and dislikes, your tolerances and limitations.

Why Is Getting to Know Yourself so Important?

To be honest, it is up to you and you have to decide for yourself the importance of knowing yourself and whether you want to go on that adventure. It takes courage and a willingness to peel back the layers bit by bit.

For me, I felt lost, stuck (a bit like a caged bird) and had a deep longing or feeling within my heart that was not going away (no matter what I achieved or did on the outside). I decided and committed many years ago, that I was not going to stop until I discovered what I was searching for.

Fortunately after a while, I stopped searching on the outside and realised that the search was an inside job and I had to do the work, no one else could do it for me.

The Tao the Ching says ~

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”   and  “The cost of not following your heart, is spending the rest of your life wishing you had.”   ~ J. Paulsen

Over to You…

After reading this post, do you think it is important to know yourself? If so, feel free to share your thoughts below.

If you are ready to take yourself on the journey of getting to know yourself (your true self), why not join  the Toolkit ? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life. Also – you may also like to join Lead from Within .

Page Reference –

I have had many people want to reference this page, so here is the correct reference. Thanks in advance for honouring my work 🙂

Taylor, J. (2015).  The Importance of Knowing Yourself.  [WWW] Available from: https://www.janetaylor.net/importance-knowing/ [Accessed …….. ]

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Home Essay Samples Life Self Awareness

Reflecting on How Well You Know Yourself

Table of contents, the significance of self-awareness, the challenges of self-discovery, exploring the layers within, the power of reflection, the transformative journey, references:.

• Tasha Eurich. (2017). "Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think."
• Daniel Goleman. (1995). "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ."
• John D. Mayer, Peter Salovey, & David R. Caruso. (2008). "Emotional Intelligence: New Ability or Eclectic Traits?" American Psychologist, 63(6), 503-517.
• Carl Rogers. (1980). "A Way of Being." Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
• Donna Hicks. (2011). "Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict." Yale University Press.

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 9, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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9 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself

You know yourself better than anyone else, but writing about yourself can still be tough! When applying for scholarships or to college, essay prompts  can feel so general (and yet so specific!) that they leave us stumped.  So we’ll show you 8 tips to write an essay about yourself, so that you can land more scholarships. (Psst – Going Merry makes applying easy .)

1. Create a List of Questions

2. brainstorm and outline, 3. be vulnerable, 4. use personal examples, 5. write in the first person, 6. don’t be afraid to show off…but stay on topic, 7. show personality , 8. know your audience, 9. proofread and edit.

Let’s start with some examples of personal essay prompts:

• Tell me about yourself.
• Describe a challenge or event that made you who you are today.
• What are your short and long-term goals, and how do you plan to achieve them?
• Write about a time you failed at something. How did it affect you?

These are just a few of many scholarship essay prompts that require you to look internally, to answer a question, solve a problem, or explain a scenario in your life.  

We get it. You might not be a big fan of bragging about yourself, or you might want to keep your personal stories to yourself. But by opening up and sharing your story, you can show scholarship providers, colleges and universities who you are, and why you’re deserving of their scholarship.

(Don’t just take our word for it – check out our scholarship winners page full of students like you who were brave enough to share their stories with us).

To get started, check out these 9 tips on how to write an essay about yourself:

After reading through the scholarship essay prompt, breathe, and make a list of smaller questions you can answer, which relate to the big essay prompt question. 

Let’s say the main essay prompt question asks you, “What were challenges or barriers you had to work to overcome?” Then the smaller questions might be something like:

• What is your background? Family, finances, school.
• What was challenging about that background?
• What’s your greatest accomplishment? How did you get there? How have previous challenges influenced your goals?

Think of these questions as mini-prompts. They explain your story and help you answer the main essay prompt with more details than if you just answered it without a plan in place.

After considering smaller questions, it’s time to brainstorm your answers.  Take out a pen and paper – or open up a document on a computer – and take your time in answering each mini-prompt. Organize your responses in order:

• Intro to main essay prompt.
• Answer about 3 mini-prompt questions.
• Conclude by rewriting the answer to the main essay prompt with a summary of your mini-prompt answers.

This organization will help you stay on topic and answer the prompt directly. (Or check out these 6 scholarship essay examples for alternative essay structures.)

Don’t be afraid to let your strengths, challenges, and personal stories shine through in your essay! Scholarship and admissions committees love to see that you’re self-aware how you can improve as a person, or how you’ve grown because of your experiences. Honest writing can help tell the best stories (in this case, YOUR story).

Since this essay is all about you , you should make your answer as specific as possible! Avoid using generalizations (e.g., “I’m really good at music). Instead, go for more personalized statements (e.g., “My fourth-grade teacher Ms. Matay really inspired me to pursue my interest in the clarinet”). Your personal examples are what will help your scholarship essay stand out among the thousands of applicants..

 You’re telling your story, so write from your perspective! You can narrate your story. You can provide an overview of what you learned from your experiences. However you choose to answer the prompt, we recommend writing in an active tone, and using “I” and “me” throughout your essay.

Most students worry about bragging in their essay, but we say go for it! This is your time to shine, so highlight your accomplishments and strengths.  Review your essay to make sure that you’re keeping the tone informative and that you’re still on topic. (Brag while answering the essay prompt; don’t just mention random, unrelated but impressive facts about yourself!)You can use this brag sheet where you can brainstorm your accomplishments. While the worksheet is geared toward requesting letters of recommendation , you can still use it to write out your hobbies, interests, college list , and strengths to help you answer your scholarship essay prompt.

Just because it’s an essay doesn’t mean it has to be dry and boring. This essay is all about you, so let your personality shine through. If you’re the class clown, you can use a bit of humor. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, don’t be afraid to show emotion. Trying your best to express who you are as a person will have a huge effect on the admissions or scholarship committee!

If you’re applying for a scholarship, research the scholarship provider. If you’re applying to college, research the school. Understanding what makes the provider/college unique and what their motivations are, will allow you to incorporate that information in your essay. For example, many scholarships are funded by private companies that sell products. You might want to reference those products in your essay. A good example of this is Emily Trader’s essay for the Life Happens organization , where she uses her personal narrative to explain the importance of insurance planning, since that is the mission of the organization (which is funded by insurance companies).

The last step in answering your essay prompt is to double-check your work! One typo can be distracting and cause scholarship providers to scratch their head while reading the essay. ( Psst, humble brag: Going Merry’s application platform includes spellcheck because we’ve got your back .) In addition to proofreading for typos and grammatical errors, also consider whether the sentence or paragraph structure makes sense. Are you breaking paragraphs in the right place? Are you using topic sentences well to signpost your main ideas? Does the essay flow? Consider these “bigger” structural questions too.  You might also want to ask a friend, family member, teacher, or guidance counselor to review your essay. They might catch something you didn’t see the first time around, and that can really help your essay! In fact, that is scholarship winner Daniel Gill ’s #1 tip. (Another tip is to apply for scholarships using Going Merry !)

Also, check out this helpful list of the 10 most common scholarship essay topics while you’re brainstorming!

Now that you know how to write an essay about yourself, it’s time to start applying for scholarships! Remember: You’ve got this. 

Sign up for your free Going Merry profile . From there, you can easily upload and submit your essay for thousands of scholarships. We make it easy so you’ll only need to enter your profile information once! And then, you can apply away. In fact, we even have some bundled scholarships so that you only enter your essay once, to apply for multiple scholarships at the same time.

Or if you’re not ready to register, simply sign up to receive an email with 20 new scholarship opportunities each week. Just enter your email address below:

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How to Get to Know Yourself: A Guide to Self-Discovery

Last Updated: December 15, 2022 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano . Jessica Elliott is a Certified Executive Coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the founder of LIFETOX, where she hosts mindful experiences and retreats, and J Elliott Coaching, which she provides executive consulting for professionals, teams, and organizations. Jessica has had over fifteen years experience as an entrepreneur and over five years of executive coaching experience. She received her ACC (Associate Certified Coach) accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and her CEC (Certified Executive Coach) accreditation through Royal Roads University. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 437,849 times.

The question “Who am I?” can bring on a series of thoughts, emotions, and feelings, but what if you don’t know how to answer? Getting to know yourself is a life-long journey. Feeling lost or confused about who you are is more common than you may think, and we’re here to help you find all the answers you’re looking for. In this article, we’ll take you through different ways of getting to know yourself. By practicing self-awareness, exploring your personality, and fulfilling your needs, you can discover who you truly are and build a lasting relationship with yourself. So, what are you waiting for? We have an identity to find!

Things You Should Know

• Question your thoughts, goals, and self-image to uncover how you view yourself.
• Determine your personality type through questionnaires to find your sense of self.
• Set boundaries for yourself to fulfill your wants, needs, relationships, and goals.

Practicing Self-Awareness

• Pay attention to the things that make you feel uncomfortable. These emotional signals can tell you if you’re trying to avoid something. Are you insecure about that characteristic? If so, how can you overcome it?
• For example, if you don't like to look in the mirror, ask yourself why. Are you insecure about your looks? Are you worried about your age? This could be a fear you can conquer.

• What do I love doing?
• What are my dreams?
• What do I want my legacy to be?
• What is my biggest criticism of myself?
• What are some mistakes I’ve made?
• How do others perceive me? How would I like them to perceive me?
• Who is my role model?

• Go to the mirror and describe yourself out loud or in your head. Are the descriptions positive or negative? Are they focused on your looks or your actions?
• When you start thinking negatively, stop yourself and question why you’re reacting that way.

• Look for patterns in your writing. Over time, you may find yourself repeating specific needs and wants.
• Write whatever is on your mind. Freewriting can help you unlock subconscious thoughts to help identify what’s bothering you.
• Alternatively, you can use prompts to guide your writing. Choose prompts that ask you to describe certain parts of your personality or habits.

• Pause and observe the world around you. What can you touch, taste, hear, see, and smell?
• Avoid eating meals at your computer or TV and focus on how the food tastes and feels in your mouth.
• Take a walk and notice how the ground feels beneath your feet, where the sun is in the sky, and if birds are chirping.

• If you have the thought, “My thighs are too big,” reframe it with, “My legs are strong and carry me where I want to go.” [7] X Research source
• If you think, “I weigh too much,” change the thought to, “Weight is just a number, and I am more than a number.”

wikiHow Quiz: How Is My Inner Child Wounded?

Which movie protagonist do you relate to the most.

Katniss from The Hunger Games. She always went out of her way to help others.

Ariel from The Little Mermaid. She wanted to be loved and accepted as someone else.

Loki from Marvel. He had big goals, even if they didn’t always work out.

Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. He always had a funny quip regardless of the situation.

Exploring Your Personality

• Team leader
• Emotional support
• Mentor/Mentee
• Problem solver

• Values: What is important to you? What characteristics do you prize in yourself and others?
• Interests: What are you curious about? What do you like to do in your free time?
• Temperament: What 10 words describe you best? How do you handle difficult situations or confrontations?
• Activities: What are the most and least enjoyable parts of your day? Do you have any daily rituals?
• Life goals: What have been the most important events of your life? Where do you see yourself in five years?
• Strengths: What are your abilities, skills, and talents? What are you really good at?

• NERIS Type Explorer
• Meyers-Brigg Type Indicator
• Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI)
• Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment
• Big 5 Personality Assessment

• If you’re comfortable, ask your boss, mentor, or acquaintances about how they see you as an employee.
• If you disagree with anyone’s observations, that’s okay! Take every comment with a grain of salt, and acknowledge that you’re ever-evolving.

Fulfilling Your Needs

• Try to exercise for at least 20 minutes every day. Go for a walk after lunch or do a quick yoga flow before breakfast.
• Aim to get at least 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night to wake up refreshed.
• Eat a healthy diet made up of unprocessed fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
• Find time to relax and unwind. Try meditating, knitting, working on a puzzle, or reading a book.

• Set boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers to ensure you maintain a healthy space at home and in the office.

• Consider if there’s anyone in your life who asks too much of you or makes you do things you don't want to. How far are you willing to go to please them?
• Be firm when setting boundaries, and don’t ever apologize for saying “no” to interactions or situations that may make you feel off—you know what’s best for you!

• For instance, maybe you want to write a book. Start a goal to write 500 words a day.
• Perhaps you want to make the largest cake for your nephew’s birthday. Set a goal to practice a new decorating skill every weekend.
• Your goals may change over time, and that’s perfectly okay! People change and grow with time, so don’t be afraid to alter your visions and follow new dreams.

Expert Q&A

• Make sure you’re open to testing out different methods, and throwing out the ones that don’t serve you. Get experimental on your self-discovery journey and know that there’s no failures, only different paths of discovery. Thanks Helpful 9 Not Helpful 1

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://medium.com/radical-culture/the-impact-of-self-honesty-on-your-success-eb24d057ce43
• ↑ https://www.usa.edu/blog/self-discovery-questions/
• ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-become-self-aware
• ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
• ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/body-image.html#
• ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/online-bachelors-programs/bs-in-psychology/resource/how-positive-self-talk-can-make-you-feel-better-and-be-more-productive
• ↑ https://www.open.edu/openlearn/mod/oucontent/view.php?id=20017&printable=1
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201603/looking-your-true-self-10-strategies-self-knowledge
• ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/02/5-ways-to-become-more-self-aware
• ↑ https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers/Taking-Care-of-Yourself
• ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/04/stop-trying-to-find-your-true-self-at-work
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201511/7-tips-create-healthy-boundaries-others
• ↑ https://www.depressioncenter.org/toolkit/i-want-stay-mentally-healthy/goal-setting

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To get to know yourself, write in a journal for a few minutes every day so you can keep track of your inner thoughts and feelings. As you write, ask yourself thoughtful questions, and try to be honest with yourself as you write down the answers. Some of these questions include, “What do you love doing?” “What are your dreams in life?” and “What are some mistakes you’ve made?” As you read through your journal, you’ll start to notice certain hopes, feelings, and regrets emerging that can give you more insight into yourself. Keep reading to learn how mindfulness and meditation can help you get to know yourself better! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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50, 100, 250, & 500 Words Essay on How Well Do You Know Yourself In English

Table of Contents

Introduction

There’s always that New Age-y person in everyone’s life who says things like “If you don’t know yourself, you won’t live.” Or, “If you don’t know yourself, you can’t be authentic.” And you’re always like, “I know myself.” Then you get home and you wonder, “Why have I had three terrible relationships recently?” I wonder why I am so depressed nowadays? Why am I so desperate for video games? 

Why do you feel so uncomfortable and resistant to getting to know yourself better?

50 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

We are constantly changing and molding as a result of every situation we face. There is no such thing as a complete understanding of oneself. It is not enough to live a whole, complete life. Our lives are always centered around knowing more about others than ourselves.

The way you live and who you are governed by nothing outside of yourself. Knowing yourself will make you realize how simple life can be and how much power you have over your own fate.

100 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

It is always more important to know who you are than to know what others think of you. People with egos won’t get it; they won’t be able to see it through. In your superhero story, the ego is the evil villain that threatens self-awareness. Mindfulness practice, for example, allows us to rid ourselves of our egos and create peace in our lives.

Knowing ourselves gives us a better understanding of the world. As we grow up, we develop a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood for other people. By realizing that we are all infinite beings, we begin to see life in its true light. You can have the greatest weapon in your arsenal if you know yourself. When you know yourself truly, you gain confidence and strength.

Don’t let anyone or anything distract you from who you are.

250 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

Taking a look at myself has led me to discover a few things about myself.

The first thing I do is to trust myself, my feelings, my actions, and my capabilities. The pride I feel in myself is overwhelming!

The second reason is that I like myself. It was a blessing to be born with four limbs, a flawless hearing system, and the gift of sight. My existence in this world is a blessing from God. It doesn’t matter what happens to me, I never lose faith in God. Perhaps it’s the reason you don’t feel discouraged in life. 

I am grateful for the people, most especially my friends, who have been there for me when I am in need. The love and support of my siblings have also been an invaluable inspiration throughout this lifelong journey for me. It couldn’t get any better than this, could it?

I am trustworthy. I can proudly say that I am trustworthy even if I unconsciously reveal secrets occasionally. Whenever criticism or suggestions are made, I am open-minded. Accepting my mistakes and defects calmly, examining them, and weighing things accordingly helps me make wiser decisions. 

My pessimism sometimes gets the best of me. I don’t like it at all. Whenever I think about anything, I am a worrywart. It has dawned on me that I shouldn’t be worrying about nonsensical things, it won’t help. Getting discouraged won’t help.

Finally, I make mistakes unconsciously. The next step is regret. Considering these mistakes can be of significant help to self-improvement, as next time we will be careful not to repeat them.

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500 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

Relationships with other people can take up a lot of our time as humans. The reality is that you only have one meaningful relationship in life: with yourself.

Throughout your entire life, only you travel with you. The cradle to the grave belongs to you alone. This isn’t meant to be morbid; I only want to highlight the importance of knowing yourself and developing a relationship with yourself.

Self-knowledge is significant for three reasons:

Loving yourself

Knowing oneself, positive and negative, can help one accept who they are – exactly as they are. Laziness, for example, may not seem like a positive characteristic, but accepting it may feel difficult.

Honoring that part of yourself instead of denying it is imperative if it is a part of you. Despite your denials, it still exists. Laziness can be embraced as part of who you are and loved when you learn to appreciate it, enjoy it, and don’t let it hinder you. In addition to love, you can nurture, grow, develop, flourish, and thrive.

Self-determination

When you know yourself, you are not influenced by other people’s opinions. There is no point in listening to other people’s opinions and advice if you know what works for you – what’s good for you and, hence, what’s not.

There is no expert like you when it comes to your own being. It is up to you to decide what thoughts you want to think and who you want to be.

It is also important to have self-awareness and independence in order to have confidence. It can help to boost your self-confidence to know who you are and what you stand for.

Decisiveness

The more knowledge you gain, the more insight and confidence you will have, and this can greatly aid your decision-making process (for simple choices as well as complex ones). As a result of the moment room’s insight, doubt is no longer a problem.

Heart language and head language are the two languages we speak. A decision can be made easier if they are aligned. Whether or not you decide to act depends on your mood and what you deem right or wrong.

When you find the house that ticks all your boxes in your head, you are in the process of buying it. The house seems strange, however. It doesn’t feel right to you for some reason.

It is impossible to be clear in your system when you have two different dialogues. You want to buy the house today because your head is in charge. Hopefully, tomorrow you’ll heed the warning of your heart not to proceed with the purchase. Making decisions will be easier when you align your head and heart.

Conclusion,

All that you need is within you if you know yourself. Every one of us has the power to change the world. There is a buried treasure within, just waiting to be uncovered.

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How Well Do You Really Know Yourself?

By Frank Sonnenberg 2 Comments

As children, we love to play make-believe. We pretend to be a fireman, a doctor, or a ballerina. We fantasize about becoming a movie star, a star football player, and of course, a superhero. We love playing grown-up and imagining what we’ll be when we do grow up. (Are you seeing yourself in this picture?)

As we enter early adulthood, our ambitions take on a more serious tone as we contemplate our chosen career — what we want to do and how we want to live our life. The challenge, as we see it, is to make sure our career meets our professional goals and our personal desires as well.

It’s interesting to consider how much time we spend contemplating what we want to do and the lifestyle we desire and yet how little time we spend defining who we want to be.

It’s not what you have but who you are that counts.

Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

You may be thinking, why is that important? First, when you discover who you want to be , those character traits become a priority, etched on your conscience. They will influence your decisions, guide your behavior, and inspire you to achieve your full potential.

Second, if you don’t identify those character traits, those signposts, you’ll never know if you’re on course or working against your best interests. Goals enable you to compare your progress against objectives and to adjust your behavior accordingly. As the famous cliché says, “What gets measured gets done.”

Third, moral standards encourage you to remain on course. When values are top of mind, you may think twice before deviating from them — even if you can get away with it. While you may be able to fool others, you have to answer to a higher authority — your conscience . That alone may dissuade you from veering off track.

In addition, establishing yourself as a person of high moral character will boost your confidence, strengthen your relationships, and bolster your career. It will improve your health, enrich your success, and increase your happiness. Know who you are! You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

The Importance of Knowing Yourself

Here are six valuable benefits to knowing yourself:

Make yourself proud. People won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Set standards of excellence that make the most important person — you — proud.

Achieve inner peace. Be satisfied with what you have and who you are rather than seeking validation or living up to others’ expectations. The result is that you’ll spend more time listening to your inner voice than being sidetracked by others.

Build trust. When you know who you are, your behavior is consistent. This enables others to anticipate your behavior, which helps to build open, honest , and trusting relationships.

Cultivate strong relationships. Know what you stand for. Shared beliefs and values form the heart of every successful relationship and ultimately determine its success.

Keep things in perspective. Focus on what really matters. Possessions age and lose value over time; memories last forever.

Live a purpose-driven life. Follow your North Star. Identify activities that matter most to you and spend the majority of your time and effort in those areas. Cherish every moment and seek to live life without regret.

Know Thyself

One day you’ll look back and reflect on your life. You’ll care not only where life has taken you, but how you got there as well. You’ll take great pride in knowing that you set the bar high and pursued your dreams with gusto. You’ll delight in observing that you accomplished great things and did so with honor and grace. You’ll relish the fact that you gave more than you took and helped to make the world a better place. At that point you’ll acknowledge the fact that the real measure of success wasn’t what you accumulated, but what you gave back. When you were a little kid, you fantasized that you were a superhero; now you’ve become one.

Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.

Additional Reading: What Does Your Name Say About You? Can You Count on Yourself? Take Ownership by Taking Responsibility To Be or Not To Be How Do You Want to Be Remembered? 35 Questions to Inspire Self-Reflection 6 Ways to Know You Need a Course Correction

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About Frank Sonnenberg

Frank Sonnenberg is an award-winning author and a well-known advocate for moral character, personal values, and personal responsibility. He has written 10 books and has been named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of “America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts.” Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Frank’s newest book, Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others , was released June 2023.

Additionally, his blog — FrankSonnenbergOnline — has attracted millions of readers on the Internet. It was recently named one of the “Best Self-Improvement and Personal Development Blogs” in the world and continues to be listed among the “Best Inspirational Blogs on the Planet.”

© 2024 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from FrankSonnenbergOnline.com is strictly prohibited.

April 4, 2019 at 10:08 am

When would you have your book available as an audio book?

April 4, 2019 at 10:17 pm

Great question, Onilda.

All of my books are currently available in paperback and via Kindle. I haven’t explored audio versions yet. I’ll continue to give that some thought.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

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How Well Do I Know Myself?

The author has reflected on their personal qualities and is grateful for the blessings they have received in life, including supportive parents and inspiring siblings. They trust themselves and others trust them, although they admit to being a worrywart at times. They are open to criticism and see mistakes as opportunities for self-improvement. Despite occasional pessimism and unconscious mistakes, the author remains positive and focused on growth.

I don’t know how to start but here are some things that I’ve found out about myself. First, I trust myself, my feelings, my deeds, and my abilities. I am proud to myself! Second, I like myself. I was born with four limbs, with complete hearing and blessed with eyes. Thanks God because I am here in this world. Ups and downs, I never lose my grip to God. It maybe is the cause for not being discouraged about life. I am thankful that He gave me parents who are unceasingly extending hands when I am in need and people, especially friends, who made me feel blessed with all life’s splendor.

I am also blessed with wonderful siblings who serve as inspirations for this life-long journey. What more could I ask for? People can trust me. Though there are times that I unconsciously burst out a secret, I can still proudly say that I am trustworthy. I am open-minded to criticism and suggestions. It makes me accept my mistakes and defects calmly, examine them and weigh things so as to make moves accordingly. I get so pessimistic at times.

It’s one of my worst enemies. I am a worrywart who tends to worry on everything. But I realized now that I shouldn’t be subjecting myself to nonsensical worrying, it will do no good. I’ll just get discouraged. Lastly, I unconsciously do the wrong things. Regret is what comes next. But if we learn to consider things, maybe those mistakes are of great importance in self-improvement; and so that next time we would do things just to avoid committing the same mistakes again.

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