mother child relationship essay

Mother-Child Relationship – Psychology Essay

In the article, Butler and Shalit-Nager conducted a study to establish the gender patterns as far as the relationship between the child and the mother is concerned. They aimed at ascertaining the claim that girls tend to show interpersonal concern to their mothers when compared to boys.

In the article, they adopted the previous findings claiming that boys differ from girls as regards the relationship with mothers in the sense that they are inactive when it comes to expressing and promoting their mother’s welfare (Butler, & Shalit-Naggar, 2008).

Bowen’s theory is effectively employed in discussing family relations, and it could be used in explaining the relationship between the mother and the child, irrespective of the gender. According to Bowen, the relationship between the mother and children in family interactions could be comprehended in terms of the emotional unit and system thinking is the only valid model of explaining the actions of members. Additionally, this form of interaction is complex in the sense that the parent is strongly attached psychologically to the child.

In this regard, a child might feel detached from the parent, but this is just an emotion and not a reality. Therefore, the mother has the capability of affecting the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the child to the extent that she appears as if she lives under the same emotional skin with either the daughter or the son.

The theory suggests that the mother will try as much as possible to solicit attention, endorsement, and backing from the son or the daughter while the child on the other will do everything possible to respond positively to the parent’s prospects and needs.

The scholars employed one of the most effective methods in the field of psychology referred to as the projective method, which is known to collect accurate information that plays a role in understanding the human interactions and interrelations. Through the method, the nature and the context of the mother-child relationship are easily understood since children are given the opportunity to explain their views through narration.

The researcher could simply compare the child’s narratives and the sensitive maternal concern that could establish whether the relationship is strong. The work is relevant to the field of psychology since it suggests the stories of children could be employed effectively in understanding their views towards their mothers.

Many studies hypothesize that girls are likely to be responsive and concerned with the aspirations of their mothers, but boys never care about what happens to their mothers at a tender age since they do not like them. In the study, the two researchers established that children explain the nature of the relationship existing between them and their mothers, but girls tend to express concern as opposed to boys.

The research findings do not suggest something new in the field, but they simply clarify some of the contentious issues that many psychologists are yet to find answers. The findings propose that girls are close to their mothers, mainly because they help them in fulfilling their future maternal responsibilities. On the other hand, their findings never confirmed the claim that mothers show more love for daughters than boys.

The only thing that brings daughters close to their mothers is the fact that they share similar features and responsibilities in society. The conclusions of the study have practical implications for the field of personality since counselors and other experts specializing in family therapy would employ the model successfully in resolving issues. They will be aware that mothers are never caring to girls alone, but instead, they are concerned with the welfares of their children, irrespective of gender.

Unlike the first study, the second one does not link the relationship between daughters and their mothers to the failures or successes in life. Researchers in the first study established a strong correlation between the relationship of daughters and their fathers and the outcome of future behavior. In terms of credibility, the second study could be applied across cultures meaning that the method applied is parsimonious, something that the first article lacked.

The sample used in the first study was insufficient and could not measure what it intended to do, but the second study had various subsets that validate its findings. The findings of the first article established that the father plays a critical role in the life of the daughter, but the second study never established any strong correlation.

An article by Byrd-Craven, Auer, Granger, and Massey suggested that the relationship between the father and the daughter could be understood through the application of the motivational theory as suggested by Skinner, but this study makes to embrace the Bowen’s theory that suggests the understanding of family relations through thinking.

Based on this, the first study would easily suffer from a credibility test just as any motivational theories and studies, but this article is considered strong because of using family systems theory advanced by Bowen. Without credibility, a study is likely to invite criticism leading to inaccurate judgment and conclusions.

Butler, R., & Shalit-Naggar, R. (2008). Gender and Patterns of Concerned Responsiveness in Representations of the Mother – Daughter and Mother – Son Relationship. Child Development, 79 (4), 836-851.

• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2020, March 30). Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-child-relationship-psychology/

"Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology." IvyPanda , 30 Mar. 2020, ivypanda.com/essays/mother-child-relationship-psychology/.

IvyPanda . (2020) 'Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology'. 30 March.

IvyPanda . 2020. "Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology." March 30, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-child-relationship-psychology/.

1. IvyPanda . "Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology." March 30, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-child-relationship-psychology/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Mother-Child Relationship - Psychology." March 30, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/mother-child-relationship-psychology/.

• Self-Perception in Mother-Child Conversations
• Natural Law in Mother-Child Medical Cases
• Bowen family system theory
• Bowen Family Systems Theory - Psychology
• Bowlby's Stages of Attachment and Bowlby's Theory
• How Migration Affects Identity
• “Ballad of Birmingham” by Dudley Randall
• Benefits of Breastfeeding Versus Formula-Feeding
• The HIV and AIDS Problem Between Educated and Non-Educated Children in Uganda
• Real-Life Case Analysis Using the Bowen Approach
• Organizing the Mind and Thinking - Psychology
• Identifying Rogerian Techniques - Psychology
• Everett Roger's 7 Stages - Clinical Psychology
• Psychodynamic Theory and Its Perspectives in Therapy
• Self-Efficacy Beliefs and Expectancies - Psychology

An official website of the United States government

The .gov means it’s official. Federal government websites often end in .gov or .mil. Before sharing sensitive information, make sure you’re on a federal government site.

The site is secure. The https:// ensures that you are connecting to the official website and that any information you provide is encrypted and transmitted securely.

• Publications
• Account settings

Preview improvements coming to the PMC website in October 2024. Learn More or Try it out now .

• Advanced Search
• Journal List
• Am J Lifestyle Med
• v.15(1); Jan-Feb 2021

Parenting and Child Development: A Relational Health Perspective

A child’s development is embedded within a complex system of relationships. Among the many relationships that influence children’s growth and development, perhaps the most influential is the one that exists between parent and child. Recognition of the critical importance of early parent-child relationship quality for children’s socioemotional, cognitive, neurobiological, and health outcomes has contributed to a shift in efforts to identify relational determinants of child outcomes. Recent efforts to extend models of relational health to the field of child development highlight the role that parent, child, and contextual factors play in supporting the development and maintenance of healthy parent-child relationships. This review presents a parent-child relational health perspective on development, with an emphasis on socioemotional outcomes in early childhood, along with brief attention to obesity and eating behavior as a relationally informed health outcome. Also emphasized here is the parent–health care provider relationship as a context for supporting healthy outcomes within families as well as screening and intervention efforts to support optimal relational health within families, with the goal of improving mental and physical health within our communities.

‘Viewing development through the lens of relational health reflects recognition of the critical role that relationships play in children’s social, emotional, health, and cognitive outcomes.’

“In order to develop normally, a child requires progressively more complex joint activity with one or more adults who have an irrational emotional relationship with the child. Somebody’s got to be crazy about that kid. That’s number one. First, last and always.”—Urie Bronfenbrenner “If a community values its children it must cherish their parents.”—John Bowlby

Introduction

Bronfenbrenner recognized the critical importance of the emotional relationship between a child and an adult, whereas Bowlby’s observation underscores the responsibility of communities and practitioners in supporting healthy child development by supporting parents. The belief that we can support children directly, without supporting their parents, overlooks the complex system of relationships within which children develop. 1 Together, Bronfenbrenner and Bowlby remind us that to support healthy development, we must focus on the emotional quality of the relationships within which the child participates—as well as consider how the larger community supports those relationships.

Yet parenting is a broad topic and an exhaustive review is beyond the scope of any one article. Informed by the field of infant mental health with its explicit relational focus 2 and in an effort to contribute to our understanding of parenting as multiply determined, 3 we focus our discussion here on the construct of relational health as a tool for promoting socioemotional and physical health among young children. Relational health reflects a sense of “connectedness” with attuned others, including caregivers, family members, and other individuals within the community. 4 Such a focus is consistent with the field of lifestyle medicine—which considers the environment as a social determinant of health and well-being 5 —and research on health and social behavior, which highlights parents as significant influences on children’s health. 6 Viewing development through the lens of relational health reflects recognition of the critical role that relationships play in children’s social, emotional, health, and cognitive outcomes. 3 Accordingly, the revised Diagnostic Classification of Mental Health and Developmental Disorders of Infancy and Early Childhood (DC-05) 7 considers how characteristics of the broader caregiving environment, such as coparenting quality and other close relationships, relate to developmental and mental health diagnoses. 2

Relational Health Within Primary Care: The Parent-Provider Relationship

We suggest that the parent-provider relationship provides a potentially valuable, although far less emphasized, context for promoting relational health. We present a review of the literature surrounding relational health science and encourage the health care provider to view their patients through the relational health lens. When considered from this angle, for children and their caregivers, the relationship is the patient. As health care providers endeavor to encourage healthy lifestyle choices in the families they serve, each decision a family makes—whether to the benefit or detriment—will occur in the context of their relationships. The health care provider must learn to consider and then acknowledge the family support relationships present in the exam room, the waiting room, and at home to best engage a family’s healthy choices. When caring for patients through this approach, the provider will consider the patient’s treatment choices in their realistic and relational context, rather than as compliant versus noncompliant. Moreover, by acknowledging the provider’s own relationship to the family, the provider can become a supportive member of the treatment decision team rather than an information broker, motivational interviewer, or reticent supplier of difficult-to-follow advice.

The relational health perspective considers the practitioner as a supportive (or unsupportive) “other” in navigating the sometimes difficult, uncertain, or fear-provoking experience of parenting a child from preconception through adulthood. An awareness of relational health in pediatric and adult medicine settings may increase positive outcomes in both parents and children through increased empathy. Specifically, during challenging situations, the practitioner should assess and address relationship quality rather than judging parenting or assigning sole credit or blame to either the parent or child. The focus lies in identifying strengths and opportunities in service to the relationship. 4

Relational Health Within Families: The Parent-Child Relationship

A relational health perspective on development embodies a family systems perspective as well, which recognizes the interconnectedness of individuals and relationships within families 8 and the bidirectional, transactional nature of relationships 9 ; parents affect children and children affect parents. 10 A relational health approach to understanding parent-child relationships emphasizes the dyadic connection between parent and child. Although a multitude of factors have been explored as correlates and predictors of parenting and child outcomes, we focus here on a subset of the factors that may influence relational health, with the goal of increasing practitioners’ understanding of relationship-focused approaches to health promotion within families.

Parent-Child Attachment Relationships: Parental Sensitivity and Reflective Functioning

One of the most influential relationship-focused frameworks for understanding development is attachment theory. An extensive literature describes the early parent-child attachment relationship as an enduring, emotional bond that enables children to explore the environment, 11 yet maintain the proximity and contact necessary for healthy development. Parent-infant attachment relationships, therefore, provide the earliest contexts for children’s relational health. Secure attachment balances developmentally appropriate exploration of the world with seeking closeness and comfort from the caregiver when distressed. Secure parent-child attachment relationships are associated with a range of positive social and emotional outcomes in children. 12 , 13 Conversely, disorganized attachment, a form of insecure attachment, is a risk factor for poorer developmental outcomes 14 and has been linked to disturbed caregiving behavior. 15 - 17 Efforts aimed at increasing security within these critical early relationships remain of interest to researchers and clinicians. 18 Interventions including Attachment and Biobehavioral Catch-up (ABC), 19 , 20 Circle of Security, 21 and Video Intervention for Positive Parenting and Sensitive Discipline (VIPP-SD) 22 have been effective in promoting secure attachment and positive child outcomes (including fewer behavior problems) via creation of measurable, positive changes in parents’ sensitive and responsive behavior, a key factor in secure attachment. 23 , 24 Yet these interventions are not widely available to the public, thus limiting the ability of clinicians to offer them to their patients and families.

Perhaps the most effective mediator toward creating change in parental sensitivity and responsiveness is fostering growth in a parent’s reflective functioning (RF). RF reflects the extent to which a parent can consider the mental states (ie, thoughts, feelings, intentions) that may motivate the behavior of self and other. 25 This capacity can be described in terms of both self-focused RF and child-focused RF. 26 , 27 Interventions such as Minding the Baby 28 , 29 and Mothering from the Inside Out 30 , 31 appear effective in supporting healthy relational outcomes via a focus on growing RF. The concept of RF is also relevant for understanding how adults’ own early relational experiences may affect their parenting. 32

Recommendations for Providers

These 2 elements of parenting—sensitive, responsive caregiving and RF—support the formation of secure parent-child relationships. 24 We suggest that health care providers use thoughtful questioning that may support parental RF, as recently suggested and detailed by Ordway et al. 33 Health care providers can also demonstrate and model RF and help build this capacity in families via routine care and also in medically intensive environments. In environments such as the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), for example, barriers to parent-neonate relational health development are prominent because of parents coping with fears of infant death and infants experiencing frequent stressors. 34 - 39 Although NICU staff recognize the critical role they play in supporting early parent-child relational health and promoting positive socioemotional outcomes among infants born prematurely, 40 this role may come secondary to the provision of direct medical support to neonates. Professionals’ engagement in reflective practice, with its focus on awareness of the mental and feeling states of self and others, 41 may be one pathway toward promoting positive infant outcomes via the provision of greater psychological support to parents of premature and medically fragile newborns. Building reflective capacity among a range of health care providers may further strengthen the foundation of early relational health within families. 33

Mothering, Fathering, and Grandparenting

Although attachment perspectives historically have emphasized the mother-child relationship, attachment theory and research has been extended to a variety of other caregiver-child relationships, including father-child relationships. 42 - 44 A family systems perspective 8 on relational health suggests that to understand development, we must consider how mother-child and father-child relationships may independently or interactively contribute to developmental outcomes.

Rigorous recent research indicates that children benefit socially and emotionally when fathers are more involved in their lives. 45 Moreover, the benefits of father involvement hold for nonresident as well as resident fathers. 46 Yet fathers’ engagement in parenting is multiply determined, 47 and individual, family, and institutional-level factors may all play important roles in predicting paternal involvement. At an individual level, a father’s identity as a parent, 48 , 49 as well as a father’s attitudes and beliefs about his role in his child’s life, 50 , 51 matter for his engagement. At the family level, evidence highlights the quality of the father’s relationship with a child’s mother. For example, mothers are more likely to be gatekeepers within families, controlling fathers’ access to children as well as the quantity and quality of fathers’ interactions with their children. 52 , 53 At a policy level, compared with countries such as Sweden where paternal leave is supported, the lack of paid paternal leave within the United States may also present barriers to fathers’ involvement with their young children as well as erode fathers’ sense of efficacy in the parental role. 54

Above and beyond these individual, family, and policy variables, mothers’ and fathers’ parenting may differ and uniquely predict developmental outcomes. For example, mothers may be the primary providers of emotional security for children via the establishment of early parent-child attachment relationships, whereas for fathers, exploration of the world may be a primary emphasis in parenting. 55 Fathers’ more stimulating play style—often involving rough-and-tumble play—may promote positive outcomes in children, including developmentally appropriate risk taking and establishment of autonomy. 56 , 57 Mothers, by contrast, are more likely to engage in object-mediated teaching interactions as well as providing structure for their children. 58 However, though mothers and fathers may have interaction styles that differ, the fact remains that many children in the United States are raised in households headed by mothers and may experience wide variability in contact with their biological fathers. 59 This fact, coupled with increasing acceptance and prevalence of families headed by same-sex parents, cautions against a return to the belief that to develop optimally, children require both fathers and mothers (known as the “essential father” hypothesis). 60

We must also recognize that nonparental primary caregivers may play a central role in the care and raising of young children. For example, the increasing number of grandparent-headed households means that more grandparents—with their own sets of strengths and challenges—are making health and wellness decisions for children and may require a unique set of supports from health care providers. 61 Even when not primary caregivers, many grandparents—especially maternal grandmothers—report being involved and influential in their grandchildren’s lives. 62 In fact, involvement of maternal grandmothers with grandchildren may buffer young children from the risks to their development posed by difficult temperament and harsh parenting by mothers. 63 A wider relational health perspective suggests that grandparents (both custodial and noncustodial) be considered as potential sources of support in children’s health and well-being.

Shifting demographics suggest that fathers, nonparental caregivers, and grandparents play an active and involved role in the lives of children. As providers, recognition of the range of relationships in which the child is embedded is critical. Examining potential biases around who is most knowledgeable or best equipped to care for children may help providers approach each adult who is involved in the child’s life as a potential partner in health promotion. 64

Coparenting Relationships

The recognition that children develop within relationships between multiple caregivers, including mothers, fathers, grandparents, and others, makes it critical to also consider the health of the relationships among these adults (ie, coparents) who share responsibility for raising particular children. 65 , 66 Whereas constructs such as marital quality or marital satisfaction focus on the intimate partner relationship, the coparenting relationship, although related, is separate and distinct. Coparenting reflects a wider range of relationship structures and processes specific to parenting. 67 , 68 For example, coparenting relationships occur among a variety of individuals who share responsibility for parenting, whether romantically involved or not, 65 , 69 such as same-sex parents, adoptive parents, divorced or never married parents, and mothers and maternal grandmothers. 70

Consistent with a family systems perspective, 8 better coparenting relationship quality is associated with children’s positive social and emotional development over and above the effects of both romantic relationship quality between parents (if present) and mothers’ and fathers’ parenting. 71 Notably, coparenting relationship quality among same-sex parents shows similar associations with children’s socioemotional development. 72 If supportive, coparenting relationships may help caregivers, especially fathers, promote children’s positive socioemotional development, 73 but undermining or conflictual coparenting relationships may have a detrimental effect on child development. For instance, although grandmother involvement may benefit children, conflict between mothers and grandmothers can be detrimental to children’s socioemotional development. 63 , 74 Thus, prevention and intervention programs have been developed to support effective relationships between coparents. 75 , 76 For example, Feinberg’s Family Foundations program targets couples expecting their first child and focuses on building strong coparenting relationships across the transition to parenthood 77 , 78 —a critical foundation for parent-child relational health.

Coparenting research highlights the role of supportive versus undermining coparenting for children’s development. Often, the extent to which coparents support or undermine one another stems from whether they share the same views on parenting goals and practices and have a similar perspective on the child’s development. Thus, when interacting with patients, we suggest inquiring about the extent of agreement versus disagreement among the adults who make decisions regarding the child’s health and development. For example, the primary custodial parent may emphasize healthy food choices and regular physical activity, whereas the nonresidential coparent may provide markedly different choices during visitation periods. Alternatively, one parent may have concerns about a child’s language or motor development, whereas a grandparent may continually emphasize that the child is “just fine.” These discrepancies in perceptions of typical versus atypical development may delay or interfere with prevention efforts, medical diagnosis, and treatment. Disagreements among multiple caregivers may create stress and tension within families, and challenges with coparenting can be addressed through prevention and intervention programs.

Parental Characteristics That Contribute to Parenting and Relational Health

Psychosocial resources and mental health.

Belsky’s early model of parenting competence suggests that multiple factors affect parenting and child outcomes, with parents’ psychosocial resources playing a prominent role. 3 Individual differences between parents in their personality characteristics affect the quality of their parenting. 79 In particular, higher openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, and agreeableness, and lower neuroticism has been related to more optimal parenting cognitions, practices, and behaviors, including parental warmth and support for autonomy. 79 - 81

For parents with common mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, the experience of parenting may be especially challenging. Maternal depression has been linked consistently with more negative and disengaged parenting behavior and lower engagement in healthy feeding and sleep practices. 82 Less research has considered fathers’ mental health in relation to their parenting, 83 although there has been a recent increase in attention to fathers’ antenatal and postnatal depression, 84 and fathers who experience postpartum depression demonstrate lower levels of developmentally appropriate positive engagement with their infant children. 83 Anxiety disorders in fathers as well as mothers have been linked with more overinvolved parenting behavior that does not foster age-appropriate independence in children. 85

Although prevalence rates suggest the importance of considering parental anxiety and depression, other mental health disorders should be considered as well. For example, for mothers diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, higher levels of negative affectivity as well as lower rates of effortful control 86 and sensitivity, and support for child autonomy 87 have been reported. Less maternal sensitivity has also been reported among mothers with obsessive compulsive disorder. 88

Screening for parental mental health concerns from pregnancy (or from pregnancy planning) throughout the child’s development is consistent with a relational health approach. Beyond screening, health care providers can become aware of evidence-based treatments that may support healthy outcomes in children by supporting maternal mental health and parenting skills. 89 For example, the attachment-based, group intervention Mom Power, which emphasizes parenting, self-care, and engagement in treatment, holds promise for supporting positive outcomes for children by supporting maternal mental health and parenting competence. 90 With increased knowledge of evidence-based treatments for fathers’ mental health and parenting, we may be able to move beyond a focus on mothers to provide all parents with a stronger support system and resource base for effective parenting.

Parental Developmental History and Adverse Experiences in Childhood

According to Belsky’s model of the determinants of parenting, a parent’s psychosocial resources stem from their developmental history. 3 The experience of adversity and toxic stress during development may affect brain architecture , 91 a term used to convey how early experiences help build the structural foundation for healthy brain development. Under conditions of sustained, persistent stress such as maltreatment or neglect, the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis may be affected, contributing to atypical diurnal patterns of cortisol and increased risk over the course of development. 92 As our understanding of the impact of toxic stress on children has grown, the focus on understanding patterns of intergenerational transmission of impaired parenting has grown as well. Experiences of adversity and toxic stress in one generation are linked to poorer parenting and developmental outcomes in the next generation. 93 Thus, improving the quality of the caregiving environment as early as possible may help improve stress responding in young children. 92

Foundational work on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) as predictors of physical, relational, and behavioral health has contributed to a growing understanding of the dose-response relation between experiences of adversity in early childhood (conceptualized as exposure to abuse and household dysfunction) and well-being in adulthood 94 as well as the experience of parenting. 95 Pregnant women reporting higher levels of ACEs in early childhood, for example, exhibit more hostile parenting toward their own infants; this pattern of hostile parenting then increases the child’s risk for poorer developmental outcomes. 96

In response to growing recognition of the impact of adversity and toxic stress within families, in 2012, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a policy statement recommending education for health professionals on ACEs along with 2-generational screening for ACEs within families. 97 , 98 By screening for parental and child ACEs, health providers may be able to provide referrals to trauma-informed therapeutic supports within the community that can help build or rebuild relational health.

Yet, in the face of adversity, the presence of individuals who are connected to the child, such as family members, can help mitigate its negative effects. 4 In addition to exploring multiple factors related to the experience of adversity, a relational health perspective suggests the importance of identifying and growing supportive connections. For example, the neurosequential model of therapeutics focuses on relational health and connectedness with others. 99 Results from recent work with this model highlight the importance of promoting the health, safety, and positivity of the parent-child relationship.

Although pediatric health care providers are aware of the impact of ACEs on parenting and developmental outcomes, additional research, education, and resources are necessary to support practitioners in identifying and addressing these impacts within families. 100 The limitations and potential cost-benefit analysis of screening for ACEs must also be considered because screening without provision of adequate referrals to evidence-based treatments may undermine the possible value of the screen. 101 Moreover, identification of appropriate screening tools for ACEs remains an important consideration. Focusing on the experiences of adversity as an ACE score that relates to poorer health outcomes may confuse correlation with causation; thus, to best inform policy and practice, factors such as timing of adversity, the overall pattern of stress, and the absence or availability of protective factors must be considered. 4 Yet through increased awareness of ACEs (both the parent’s and the child’s) as well as other psychosocial risk factors for impaired relational health, professionals can widen their lens of assessment when interacting with parents and children during medical visits.

Child Characteristics That Contribute to Parenting and Parent-Child Relational Health

Another set of key factors in the quality of parenting and parent-child relationships involves characteristics of the child. Recognizing the bidirectional nature of relationships between parents and children, Bornstein noted that “caregiving is a two-way street.” 102 Although early literature emphasized the parents’ impact on the child, a relational health approach to development suggests that we consider child contributions to parenting as well as to the overall parent-child relationship. Among a number of child characteristics that may affect parent-child relational health, research has focused on child temperament and age as well as children with special health care needs.

Temperament

Although early research on temperament emphasized the child’s inborn characteristics (eg, rhythmicity, mood) and temperament types such as easy, difficult, and slow to warm up, 103 our current understanding of temperament reflects the interplay between biological and environmental factors over the course of an individual’s development. 104 Definitions of temperament typically include individual differences in activity, emotionality, attention, and self-regulation. 104 However, particularly relevant to the experience of parenting is the temperamental characteristic of reactivity, defined as the extent to which the child is predisposed to experiencing strong negative and/or positive emotions, which may reflect the sensitivity of the nervous system to environmental stimuli. 105

Although difficult child temperament has long been viewed as a risk factor for poorer parent-child relational health, 106 more recent theory and research on the concept of differential susceptibility suggest that children with difficult or highly reactive temperaments may be more susceptible to both the negative and positive effects of the parenting environment. 105 , 107 For example, children with more difficult temperaments, reflecting higher levels of reactivity, may be particularly susceptible to the detrimental effects of negative parenting. 108 In contrast, for highly reactive children, the experience of more positive parenting is associated with fewer child behavior problems 109 and greater social competence. 110 Parenting intervention studies have further shown that more reactive children appear to benefit more from experimentally induced positive changes in parenting. 111 Thus, it is important for practitioners to shift their perspectives on “difficult” children from vulnerability to opportunity and support parents in adopting a similar view. Indeed, to the extent that the biological parents of a highly reactive child may share similar underlying genetic sensitivities, 112 these parents may be especially responsive to practitioners’ efforts, just as their children are particularly responsive to their parenting.

Because the demands and challenges of parenting change as a function of children’s age, parents must have opportunities to gain research-informed recommendations for supporting relational health with their children from birth throughout the life span. For example, within early childhood, toddlers’ and preschoolers’ growing autonomy and self-awareness creates new demands and opportunities for both parent and child. Thus, supporting parents in reflecting on the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs regarding their child’s increasing autonomy could be one strategy for supporting relational health as children move through the early childhood years. Moreover, the roles of various parenting practices for supporting children’s self-regulatory capabilities may differ across early childhood, with responsiveness most critical in infancy and other forms of support becoming more critical during the preschool years. 113 Research must, therefore, identify which practices are most relevant, at which age, 113 and for which outcome of interest. Doing so will help practitioners provide targeted support to families, based on parents’ concerns regarding their child’s particular social and emotional strengths and challenges.

Special Health Care Needs

Children with special health care needs represent a growing demographic, 114 and expert recommendations continue to promote early detection in primary care. 115 , 116 Just as providers should consider the parent factors contributing to relational health, the child’s contribution to parent-child relationships is paramount. Within the family context, a child with a developmental disability and/or special health care needs may require disproportionate resources and time compared with neurotypical siblings. 117 The child’s condition may translate into added health care costs and increased stress for parents along with decreased access to social support and leisure activities within the community. 118 , 119 For example, a systematic review of parenting stress in the face of chronic child illness indicated that among parents who were parenting a child with chronic illness, significantly higher levels of parenting stress were found; in turn, this stress was related to lower levels of psychological adjustment among parents and children. 120 Among parents of children with autism specture disorder (ASD), higher levels of parenting stress and psychological distress have also been reported. 121 , 122 These higher levels of parental stress and distress may, in turn, affect parental availability and sensitivity, thus affecting relational health.

In light of the evidence on child contributions to parenting and developmental outcomes, it seems important to consider the “what” and “how” of child contributions to relational health. Identifying the ways in which child characteristics influence and interact with parenting behaviors and relational health may provide practitioners with the tools and questions necessary to shift from a focus on the effects of parenting on children to also consider how parenting has been influenced by the child and how the overall health of the relationship has been shaped by both relational partners.

Contextual and Process Variables That May Affect Relational Health

Although the bidirectional nature of parent-child relationships underscores the importance of considering parent and child contributions to relational health, a family systems approach, coupled with a bioecological approach, suggests that the social and contextual contexts in which parent-child relationships are embedded should be considered as well.

Parent-Child Feeding Practices

The promising protective role of healthy parent-child relationships in the development of obesity 123 in early childhood is also evident, perhaps via links with more optimal self-regulation in young children. 124 , 125 For example, theoretical models 125 and research 126 on the development of appetite self-regulation and positive physical activity habits, 127 , 128 which are critical to weight-related health throughout the life span, highlight the important role of parenting. Parental behaviors such as permissiveness or indulgence have been associated with weight status and obesity in childhood. More specifically, allowing children too much freedom regarding food choices in society’s obesogenic food environment can increase children’s risk for obesity. 123 Similarly, unrestricted, unmonitored screen time has also been associated with unhealthy weight status. 129 Yet the question remains to what extent these cycles occur within families, whereby parents’ lack of control over their own food choices and screen time contribute to unhealthy weight status for their children and the unhealthy weight status of children contributes to parents’ continued struggles with their own food choices and activity levels. Thus, a family-level relational approach to understanding risks for obesity may be particularly advantageous.

Given that parents’ attitudes and beliefs can shape a range of parenting behaviors related to health and wellness, including feeding practices, exploring relational correlates and predictors of feeding practices beginning in infancy seems prudent. Parents’ feeding practices provide a unique window into parent-child relationship health, because from birth, feeding makes up a critical part of parents’ daily interactions with young children. Decisions regarding breastfeeding and/or bottle-feeding can cause considerable stress for parents. 130 And although children’s eating behavior emerges early and is relatively stable over time, eating is influenced more by external factors across development. 131

Mothers who use food to soothe their distressed infants or toddlers have reported lower parenting self-efficacy and higher child negativity. 132 Using food to soothe was also linked with higher weight status among children, particularly for children who were perceived as having more negative temperaments. 132 Among preschoolers, parents’ use of food for the purpose of emotion regulation was associated with children’s increased intake of sweets when not hungry, a pattern that may reflect the early origins of children’s emotional eating. 133

Eating behaviors and nutrition are important components of lifestyle medicine. In promoting healthy eating behavior and weight outcomes for children, health care professionals can consider how parents’ attitudes may shape their feeding practices—above and beyond a child’s weight status—and how dyadic and family-level interactions around food may support or undermine relational health. From birth, providers can recognize that decisions regarding feeding (eg, breast and/or formula; homemade meals versus fast food) may be multiply determined and best understood through a relational health lens, where parent and child factors are viewed as contributing to parenting practices, practices that may differ from recommended best practices for promoting child health outcomes.

The Household Environment: Family Chaos, Technology, and Social Media Use

The home environment represents an important context for parent-child relational health, including the quality of parenting as well as children’s well-being and health. 134 - 138 Recent research, focused on household chaos, has highlighted the role of disorder/disorganization 139 and instability/turbulence 140 for understanding parenting quality and family well-being. Lower levels of household chaos (evidenced by greater organization, stability, and predictability) are associated with higher-quality parenting behavior than home environments characterized as noisy, crowded, unpredictable, and disorganized. 138 Among preschoolers, recent evidence suggests that higher rates of household chaos are also associated with higher screen use. 141

In fact, parents’ and children’s increasing engagement with, and reliance on, technology and social media suggest the need for providers to consider technology and social media as interactive partners. For example, Facebook may provide new parents with an important source of social capital, 142 and parents report using the internet to gain information about pediatric health. 143 , 144 Yet parents (and grandparents) do not report universally positive effects of their technology use. For example, parents may experience a range of internal tensions surrounding their use of mobile technology, such as cognitive, emotional, and relationship tension. 145 Researchers are documenting how technology may interrupt the flow of interaction patterns between children and their parents—a concept known as technoference. 146 For example, higher levels of child internalizing and externalizing behavior problems have been reported by mothers who also reported higher levels of technoference in their interactions with their children. 146

Supporting parents in identifying, reducing, or coping with household chaos, as well as technoference, may be promising avenues for supporting relational health. Because the experience of chaos in the home environment often co-occurs with poverty 139 as well as parental mental health symptoms, 147 screening and intervention approaches aimed at identifying and addressing the multiple co-occurring factors that relate to family chaos may be warranted. Moreover, gauging the perceived impact of technology and social media use on parent-child relational health may be an important area of inquiry for health practitioners.

Cultural Context and Relational Health

Understanding relational health requires us to also consider the impact of race, ethnicity, and culture on parent-child relationships; accordingly, consideration of diversity has moved to the forefront of our current research and practice efforts. Although broad parenting goals are remarkably similar across diverse cultures, 102 the processes by which parents in varying cultural contexts seek to achieve these goals may differ. For example, some scholars have suggested that the concept of sensitivity, the primary determinant of secure attachment according to attachment theorists, may be biased toward more individualistic cultures because it is focused on meeting the child’s individual needs. 148 Moreover, the meaning of parenting constructs such as controlling behavior may vary across cultures. For example, Asian American parents may emphasize strict control of children as part of culturally embedded approaches to parenting, which are not equivalent to western notions of harsh/controlling parenting and do not appear to have negative effects on their children’s development. 149 , 150

These debates can support practitioners in reflecting on how their own beliefs about what is the “best” kind of parenting to promote relational health and positive child outcomes may be shaping their messaging for parents. For example, among immigrant families, attention to acculturation—the process of adapting to a new culture—rather than parenting behavior, per se, may provide a window into relational health. For example, acculturation may happen at different rates for children and parents, and greater discrepancies in the level of acculturation may contribute to increased parent-child conflict. 151

The roles of culture, race, and ethnicity in parenting practices are particularly apparent with respect to discipline practices. For example, higher rates of corporal punishment, including spanking, are generally reported by African American parents, in comparison to Hispanic or white parents, 152 although recent evidence suggests similar endorsement of spanking by African American and Hispanic mothers, along with longitudinal associations between endorsement of spanking and children’s later internalizing and externalizing behaviors. 153 Evidence continues to highlight the negative impact of corporal punishment on children 154 and the AAP’s 2018 statement on effective discipline emphasizes the need for positive alternatives to corporal punishment and spanking. 155 And, although many parents report spanking their young children, these same parents may also be looking for nonphysical, effective alternatives for guiding their children’s behavior. 156

Understanding how cultural beliefs and practices shape parents’ expectations and socialization goals may help us better define what relational health is, both within and across diverse families. Health care professionals can be a source of guidance and support for parents to choose discipline strategies that align with research and support parent-child relational health. When practitioners recognize the larger context in which parents’ discipline decisions are embedded, they may more readily identify the beliefs, histories, and socialization goals that underlie families’ discipline practices. Health providers can recognize parents’ concerns regarding children’s behavior and provide culturally responsive, research-informed, preventive recommendations for helping parents identify alternative strategies to the use of corporal punishment and physical discipline.

Reducing Risks to Relational Health: Screening and Referral

Given that the parent-child relationship is critical for healthy development, health providers must adopt a dyadic-level, family systemic, and culturally informed approach to screening, referring, and treating parent-child dyads to integrate research with practice. Equipping health professionals with knowledge of relational health may provide a solid foundation for supporting parent-child relational health from birth. For example, evidence from research with pediatric residents suggests that training in a parent-child relational framework was effective in supporting residents’ observational skills and knowledge of child development. 157

An emphasis on transactional associations within families further underscores the importance of screening and early intervention to support child and parental well-being and use of positive parenting practices. 10 Commonly used assessments in parent-child attachment research, such as the Strange Situation Procedure 158 Attachment Q-Set, 159 are labor-intensive and were not developed as clinically relevant screening tools. Moreover, even when insecurity in the parent-child relationship is suspected, access to attachment-based interventions (ie, VIPP-SD, ABC) may be extremely limited.

Whereas much of the research literature on early parent-child relationships (typically mother-child relationships) has focused on attachment, recent work highlights the dyadic-level construct of emotional connection for understanding early parent-child relational health. The development of the Welch Emotional Connection Screen (WECS) 160 reflects an effort to provide practitioners with a rapid and valid screening tool for parent-child relational health from birth to 5 years. The WECS considers the presence or absence of 4 mutual behaviors that may serve to promote and maintain emotional connection within a parent-child dyad: attraction, facial responsiveness, vocal responsiveness, and sensitivity/reciprocity. Based on the overall interaction, a score of EC+ (connected) or EC− (not connected) is assigned to the dyad.

The WECS developed out of work with the Family Nurture Intervention, which seeks to support the development of emotional connection and coregulation via the provision of calming sessions that focus on the sensory experiences of touch, vocal soothing, and skin-to-skin contact. 161 - 163 Results from an RCT study indicated that mothers and infants participating in the Family Nurture Intervention showed improvements in face-to-face dyadic interaction, including increased frequency and quality of mothers’ touch and for boys, infant’s vocal affect and gaze. 164

Emotional connection, as assessed by the WECS in infancy, has been associated with healthier autonomic responding among infants born prematurely 165 as well as with fewer internalizing and externalizing behavior problems in a full-term, longitudinal sample. 166 Thus, emerging evidence suggests that the WECS holds promise for screening, anticipatory guidance, and referral of early parent-child relationships that may benefit from support and intervention to promote healthy regulatory functioning and decrease risk for later child behavior problems. Efforts are under way to train a range of professionals—from pediatric residents to infant mental health practitioners and home visitors—to be reliable raters of parent-child relational health using the WECS.

In families with elevated risk for maltreatment, the automated self-report survey, the CARTS (Computerized Childhood Attachment and Relational Trauma Screen), reflects a relational approach to the assessment of trauma in childhood. 167 , 168 The CARTS considers what trauma occurred and assesses caregivers’ emotional availability, along with responses to the reported maltreatment. In contrast, the SEEK program (Safe Environment for Every Kid) focuses on risk factors related to child maltreatment, including parental depression, stress, and substance abuse. 168 , 169 Thus, the SEEK program may benefit pediatric primary care professionals through its focus on psychosocial stress within families, which if addressed early, may prevent child maltreatment.

Notably, SEEK embodies a relational health perspective by acknowledging the parent’s love for the child as a pathway to healthy outcomes for both parent and child as well as by acknowledging the relationships between health professionals and parents as protective factors for parents and children. 169 , 170 For example, part of the SEEK program is the SEEK Parent Questionnaire, which begins by empathetically validating the sometimes challenging everyday experience of being a parent while simultaneously offering support to parents dealing with concerning circumstances. SEEK also aims to support relational health through the REAP approach, which encourages health care providers to Reflect-Empathize-Assess-and Plan with parents.

Intervention approaches that incorporate mindfulness practices, such as the 9-week Mindful Parenting course tested in the Netherlands, also hold promise for supporting relational health within families. Mindful Parenting aims to increase awareness, decrease parental stress, and improve coparenting. 171 Both parents participating in the program and their children report reductions in internalizing/externalizing symptomology. The interpersonal focus of mindfulness-based interventions supports healthy parent-child relationships through increased awareness of parent-child interactions as well as positive changes in both child and parent functioning. 172

Summary and Conclusions

Beyond attachment theory, which emphasizes parental sensitivity and responsivity as a primary determinant of attachment security, a relational health science approach offers a wider lens for understanding how parent-child relationships may affect children’s development. A relational health approach recognizes both partners’ contributions to the establishment and maintenance of relational processes and highlights the potential value of the health care provider as a relational partner for parents and children. Our focus here was on socioemotional development; future work will consider how a relational health framework can be applied to a range of parent-child health decisions from vaccinations and sleep behaviors, to physical activity, and medication use.

Although we view primary care as a valuable context for supporting relational health, continued development and validation of screening tools for relational health that are suitable for clinical and applied contexts remain an important goal along with more widespread availability of effective interventions. Moreover, given the existing demands on health care providers, we recognize that a relational health perspective on development may create additional demands on providers. Perhaps a necessary first step is a shift in perspective, more than a shift in practice. By viewing the parent-child relationship as part of the “patient” and, therefore, part of health promotion, the long-term gains may be worth the initial investment.

By networking with community resources, health care providers can build a pipeline of referrals for parents as a component of pediatric and primary care. Offering parent-friendly pamphlets, information sheets, and face-to-face communication that reflects a relational health view on development may help parents see themselves as partners in relational health, rather than as the cause of their child’s mental health, behavioral, or developmental problems. Such negative attributions may contribute to feelings of shame and guilt—feelings that may undermine parenting self-efficacy and parents’ engagement in children’s wellness and treatment. The AAP’s recent call for pediatricians to partner with parents in supporting healthy outcomes through the sharing of information regarding child development and parenting 155 reflects the promise of a relational health approach.

Returning to the opening quote from Bowlby, we suggest that health care providers are in a strong position to serve children by valuing their parents and viewing child development through the lens of relational health. Perhaps by uncovering who that person is—the one who is “irrationally crazy” about the child, as Bronfenbrenner advised—professionals can help cultivate and reinforce that connection. And in its absence, we can seek to identify ways to build a web of relational health for the child and for the parent, a web that can support each partner in service to the relationship.

Acknowledgments

We are grateful to Ariana Shahinfar, Robert Ludwig, and Mark Lopez for feedback on an earlier version of this article.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests: The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding: The authors received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Ethical Approval: Not applicable, because this article does not contain any studies with human or animal subjects.

Informed Consent: Not applicable, because this article does not contain any studies with human or animal subjects.

Trial Registration: Not applicable, because this article does not contain any clinical trials.

Just another WordPress site

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

• Baby Showers
• Diet & Fitness
• Giving Birth
• Health & Safety
• Infertility
• Miscarriage
• Post Pregnancy
• Beauty & Style
• Internet Safety
• Manners Discipline
• Mom’s Corner
• Planning for Future
• Relationship
• Baby Behaviour
• Baby Developments
• Breastfeeding
• Kids Fashion
• Toddler Development
• Toddler Education
• Toddler Food
• Toddler Health
• Toddler Playtime
• Toddler Sleep

Why Mothers Matter: The Indispensable Role of Moms in Child Development

From the moment a child is born, their world revolves around their mother. She is their first teacher, their first friend, and their first love. The bond between a mother and her child is like nothing else in the world. It’s a relationship that shapes the course of a child’s life, impacting everything from their physical health to their emotional well-being, cognitive abilities, and social skills .

In this blog post, we’ll explore the indispensable role of mothers in child development — a topic that holds great importance not just for parents and families, but also for educators, healthcare professionals, policymakers, and society as a whole.

So, whether you’re a mother seeking validation for your tireless efforts, a father wanting to appreciate the mother of your children more, or simply someone interested in child psychology, this post is for you. Let’s delve into the world of mothers and their irreplaceable impact on child development.

In This Article

The Biological Role of Mothers

Emotional development, cognitive development, social development, the modern mother’s role, actionable tips for mothers.

The connection between a mother and her child begins long before the child is born. From the moment of conception, a unique biological bond is formed that lays the foundation for the child’s future health and development.

A. The Biological Connection

During pregnancy, a mother provides not just physical nourishment, but also a secure environment for the baby to grow. This biological connection extends beyond birth through breastfeeding, where mothers provide their infants with essential nutrients, antibodies, and hormones that contribute to healthy growth and immune system development.

B. Maternal Health and Child Development

The health of a mother can significantly impact the development of her child. For instance, maternal nutrition during pregnancy is crucial for the baby’s brain development and can influence cognitive abilities later in life. Similarly, a mother’s mental health , particularly stress levels and emotional state, can also affect the child’s development. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to high-stress environments during pregnancy can potentially impact a child’s development, including their ability to manage stress in adulthood.

However, it’s important to note that while a mother’s health plays a significant role in a child’s development, it’s just one piece of a complex puzzle. Other factors such as genetics, environmental influences, and postnatal care also contribute to how a child develops. In the next sections, we’ll take a closer look at how mothers influence their children’s emotional, cognitive, and social development.

One of the most profound ways mothers influence their children is through emotional development. From the earliest stages of life, a child looks to their mother for comfort, guidance, and understanding. This relationship plays a significant role in shaping a child’s emotional growth.

A. The Role of Mothers in Emotional Development

Mothers are often the primary caregivers, providing the first model of emotional behavior for their children. Through their reactions, expressions, and interactions, mothers teach their children how to identify, understand, and manage their emotions. When a child experiences distress, a mother’s comforting presence can help them feel safe and understood, fostering their ability to regulate their own emotions over time.

Additionally, the quality of the mother-child relationship can impact a child’s future emotional health. A secure attachment with the mother has been linked to higher self-esteem, better relationship skills, and lower risk of anxiety and depression later in life.

B. Real-Life Examples

Consider a simple scenario where a toddler falls and scrapes their knee. A mother’s response to this situation – offering comfort, validating the child’s pain, and helping them calm down – teaches the child that it’s okay to express pain and seek comfort. Over time, these experiences accumulate, helping the child learn to navigate their emotions effectively.

In another example, consider a teenager facing peer pressure. If they have grown up with a mother who has consistently provided emotional support, they are more likely to possess the emotional resilience and self-confidence to withstand such pressures.

Cognitive development refers to the growth of a child’s ability to think, learn, reason, and problem-solve. Mothers play an essential role in nurturing these skills from a child’s earliest days.

Here are some studies that highlight the influence of mothers on cognitive development:

• Mothers’ and fathers’ sensitivity and children’s cognitive development in low-income, rural families: This study examines the effects of maternal and paternal caregiving on children’s cognitive development. It suggests that the caregiving practices of mothers and fathers can have spillover effects on their children’s cognitive growth. Source
• The effect of postpartum depression on child cognitive development and behavior: A review and critical analysis of the literature: This review suggests that postpartum depression (PPD) may impact a child’s cognitive development, reinforcing the importance of a mother’s mental health on her child’s development. Source
• The cognitive development of 5-year-old children of postnatally depressed mothers: This research indicates that the mother-child relationship may modify any earlier effects on child cognitive development, highlighting the importance of maternal mental health and the quality of the mother-child relationship. Source
• The influence of mothers’ and fathers’ sensitivity in the first year of life on children’s cognitive outcomes at 18 and 36 months: This study indicates that parental sensitivity can positively impact children’s language and cognitive development. Source
• Infants’ persistence and mothers’ teaching as predictors of toddlers’ cognitive development: This study explores how maternal teaching can contribute to cognitive development in early childhood . Source

These studies collectively suggest that mothers play a significant role in their children’s cognitive development, emphasizing the importance of their mental health, caregiving practices, and the quality of their relationship with their children.

Social development is a crucial aspect of a child’s overall growth, encompassing their ability to interact, communicate, empathize, and form relationships with others. Mothers play a pivotal role in shaping these skills from the child’s infancy.

A. Mothers’ Influence on Social Skills and Behaviors

Mothers contribute significantly to their children’s social development in various ways. They are often the first ones to teach children about communication, both verbal and non-verbal. By responding to a baby’s coos and smiles, a mother encourages the child to express themselves and interact with the world around them.

As children grow older, mothers help them understand complex emotions, teaching them how to express these feelings appropriately. They also guide children in developing empathy by encouraging them to consider other people’s feelings.

Additionally, through their own behavior, mothers model essential social skills like sharing, cooperation, and respect. For example, when a mother shares a toy with a toddler and encourages the toddler to do the same with their peers, she is teaching the child about sharing and fairness.

B. Long-Term Impacts of a Mother’s Influence

The social skills that children learn from their mothers can have lasting impacts on their social development. Children who are taught empathy, kindness, and effective communication tend to have better relationships with their peers as they grow older.

Moreover, children who observe their mothers handling conflicts calmly and respectfully may learn to do the same in their interactions, contributing to healthier relationships in adulthood.

Here are some research studies that highlight the role of mothers in their children’s social development:

• Maternal sensitivity and social support predict child’s social competence: This study suggests that maternal sensitivity and social support can predict a child’s social competence, emphasizing the role of mothers in shaping their children’s social behaviors . Source
• Mother-child and father-child play interaction: The importance of parental playfulness as a moderator of the links between parental behavior and child negativity: This study indicates that playful interactions between mothers and their children can contribute to the development of positive social behaviors in children. Source
• The impact of woman abuse on children’s social development: Research and theoretical perspectives: While this study focuses on the negative effects of woman abuse, it also underscores the influence of mothers on children’s social development, both positive and negative. Source
• The Syracuse University Family Development Research Program: Long-Range Impact of an Early Intervention with Low-Income Children and Their Families: This research highlights how consistent contact and guidance from mothers can significantly impact a child’s social development. Source
• In the mix, yet on the margins: The place of families in urban neighborhood and child development research: This study underscores the role of mothers in fostering social competence in their children, particularly in challenging environments. Source
• Emotion regulation as a scientific construct: Methodological challenges and directions for child development research: This research establishes a link between mother-child interaction and the development of emotion regulation—a key social skill—in children. Source

These studies collectively highlight the critical role mothers play in shaping their children’s social skills and behaviors.

The role of mothers has significantly evolved over time, influenced by societal changes, advancements in technology, shifts in family structures, and evolving views on parenting.

A. Evolution of the Mother’s Role

Historically, mothers were primarily responsible for nurturing and caring for their children. However, over time, this role has greatly expanded. Today’s mothers often juggle multiple roles – they are not only caregivers but also breadwinners, educators, coaches, and more.

With the rise of dual-income households, many mothers now balance work and family responsibilities. Additionally, the increasing recognition of early childhood education’s importance has led mothers to play a more active role in their children’s cognitive and academic development.

Furthermore, societal shifts towards gender equality have led to a redistribution of parenting responsibilities, with fathers becoming more involved in child-rearing. This has allowed mothers to pursue personal interests and careers, redefining motherhood beyond traditional caregiving roles.

B. Current Societal Expectations and Pressures

Despite these positive shifts, modern mothers face unique challenges and pressures. Society often expects mothers to excel in all their roles – to be perfect parents, successful professionals, and fulfill their personal aspirations, often without adequate support or resources.

Mothers may face societal judgment for their parenting choices, such as decisions about work, childcare, or discipline strategies. They are often expected to instinctively know how to care for their children and may face criticism if they seek help or advice.

Moreover, the constant exposure to idealized images of motherhood on social media can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and pressure. Mothers may feel compelled to compare themselves to these unrealistic standards, leading to stress and guilt.

Here are several research studies that explore the evolution of a mother’s role over time:

• Mothers of the new generation: This study explores how the role of mothers evolved in Germany during the early 20th century, including shifts towards advocating for mothers’ rights and changes in Western ideas of motherhood. Source
• The long-term evolution of the family structure of teenage and older mothers: This study examines the changing roles and experiences of teenage and older mothers over time, suggesting shifts in societal norms and expectations. Source
• How Moroccan mothers and fathers view child development and their role in their children’s education: This research provides insight into how mothers’ roles in their children’s education have evolved in Morocco, highlighting cultural shifts and changes in parental involvement. Source
• Mothers’ involvement in caring for their premature infants: an historical overview: This study traces the evolution of mothers’ roles in caring for premature infants, from the development of the incubator to present times, emphasizing the growing recognition of mothers’ critical role in early mother-infant relationships. Source

These studies collectively highlight how the role of mothers has evolved over time, shaped by societal, cultural, and technological changes .

Navigating motherhood can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. Here are some practical tips to support your child’s development and manage the complexities of modern motherhood:

Practical Advice for Supporting Child Development

• Create a Nurturing Environment : Provide a safe, loving, and stimulating environment for your child. Encourage exploration, creativity, and learning through play.
• Be Present and Engaged : Quality time is essential. Be present during interactions with your child, whether you’re playing, reading a book, or simply talking about their day.
• Promote Open Communication : Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions. This will enhance their emotional intelligence and strengthen your bond.
• Encourage Independence : Allow your child to do tasks on their own, like dressing up or tidying their toys. This helps build their confidence and self-reliance.
• Model Positive Behavior : Children learn by imitation, so model the behaviors and attitudes you want them to adopt, such as empathy, kindness, and patience.

Encouragement and Reassurance for Mothers

• Embrace Your Unique Journey : There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood. Each family is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Trust your instincts and don’t be swayed by comparison.
• Ask for Help When Needed : It’s okay to seek help. Whether it’s from your partner, family, friends, or professionals, don’t hesitate to ask for support when you need it.
• Take Care of Yourself : Remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Taking time to rest and recharge can make you a better parent. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
• Celebrate Small Wins : Motherhood is filled with small but significant victories. Celebrate them. Every step your child takes towards growth is a testament to your hard work.
• Be Kind to Yourself : You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes or imperfections. Motherhood is a learning process, and every day is a new opportunity to grow alongside your child.

Remember, while motherhood can be challenging, it’s also one of the most enriching experiences. You’re doing an amazing job, and you’re the perfect mother for your child.

Throughout this discussion, we’ve explored the multifaceted role of mothers in child development, underscoring their crucial influence on their children’s cognitive, emotional, and social growth. Mothers guide their children’s early learning experiences, shape their emotional understanding, and help them develop essential social skills and behaviors.

In the modern world, the role of mothers has evolved significantly, encompassing not just caregiving but also professional responsibilities, educational involvement, and personal pursuits. However, this expansion of roles comes with unique societal expectations and pressures that modern mothers must navigate.

Despite these challenges, there are practical strategies that mothers can employ to support their children’s development effectively. These include creating a nurturing environment, promoting open communication, encouraging independence, and modeling positive behaviors. It’s also essential for mothers to embrace their unique parenting journey, seek help when needed, prioritize self-care, and celebrate small victories.

Once you have mastered such elements of parenting, you might even like to earn a degree in child psychology to delve deeper into things like children’s mental and emotional development. But before you check out child psychology jobs , make sure it is the right path for you.

In closing, while the journey of motherhood may be filled with challenges and pressures, it’s important to remember the significant impact mothers have on their children’s development. Mothers play an irreplaceable role in shaping the next generation, and their efforts deserve recognition, support, and celebration. To all mothers out there, remember that you’re doing an incredible job, and every step you take contributes to your child’s journey towards becoming a well-rounded individual.

Related Posts

10 Great Gifts For Any New Mom-to-be

How and Why New Moms Should Ask for Help

3 Beautiful Business Ideas for Mothers

Find the Ultimate Guide to Waist Training in 2020

Sing up to stay update with Baby Education, Parenting Tips, Gifts Ideas, Birthday Wishes and many More

Recent Posts

Where in South Korea to get Plastic Surgery?

Are Baby Walkers Safe? : Safety Concerns and Risks Associated with Baby Walkers

What Qualifications Do I Need to Be a Nurse?

How to Avoid Pregnancy after Missing Period Naturally?

How To Choose Best Baby Diaper?

Academia.edu no longer supports Internet Explorer.

To browse Academia.edu and the wider internet faster and more securely, please take a few seconds to  upgrade your browser .

Enter the email address you signed up with and we'll email you a reset link.

• We're Hiring!
• Help Center

Mother-child and father-child relationships in middle childhood and adolescence: A developmental analysis

1991, Developmental Review

Related Papers

Handbook of Adolescent Psychology

W.andrew Collins , Brett Laursen

Journal of Adolescence

Peter Noack

Ana Simunic , Mira Klarin

The purpose of this study was to explore intergenerational continuity of parenting through three generations and its influence on the social relationships of male and female adolescents. 898 adolescents (378 male and 520 female) from Croatia, Bosnia and Macedonia, with an average age of 16.5, participated in this research. The following measuring instruments (self-report measures) were used: the relationship of mother/father with grandparents, the Perception of Family Interactions Scale, the Friendship Quality Scale, and the Social Loneliness Scale. The results of this study confirm the hypothesis of the intergenerational transmission of parenting. Moreover, they show that the mother's parental style has a stronger effect on friendship quality in female adolescents than the father's parental style. Generally, it should be noted that the results of this research show that the mother’s parental style has a greater impact on friendship quality and social loneliness for girls than for boys.

Saumya Taneja

The current study has be done with aim to analyse the change in parent-child relationship over two generations with the current day parent being the index generation. (When parent was child). The objectives were to 1. To compare between Conventional and Contemporary parent child relationship on the basis of gender. 2. To compare between Males and Females on dimensions of Conventional and Contemporary Parent Child relationship. 3. To study the relationship between Conventional Parent child relationship and Contemporary Parent Child relationship. 4. To study the relationship between Conventional Parental Ambition, Control, Love and Role reversal and Contemporary Child Parent Conflict and Closeness. A sample of 110 parents ( 45 Males and 65 Females) were randomly selected. The Childhood Questionnaire by Jochen Hardt and The Child Parent Relationship Scale were used for data collection. Data was analysed using Independent Sample’s T Test and Pearson Correlation. Findings suggest that th...

Journal of Family Issues

Alfredo Oliva

This longitudinal follow-up studies a group of 90 girls and boys from initial adolescence into emerging adulthood. The relationships between these young people and their parents are analyzed over a 10-year period, while considering possible gender differences. The results indicate that the levels of communication and affection perceived by these young people diminish during emerging adulthood; however, their perceived adaptability remains and cohesion increases as the frequency of conflicts decreases. In terms of gender differences, boys and girls show similar developmental pathways. On the other hand, the results indicated a high relative stability for the scores of the subjects. This work underlines the importance of further studies about family relationships during emerging adulthood, especially from a longitudinal perspective.

Oxford Handbooks Online

Ceren Yalin

Infant Mental Health Journal

Ross Parke , Thomas Power

ABSTRACT The adolescent father's impact on the mother and child is the focus of this review. Research on the father-infant relationship is reviewed and the role of the father as caregiver and playmate is emphasized. The consequences of the adolescent father's participation for the development of the infant's cognitive and social-emotional development is examined. A model that distinguishes direct and indirect paths of influence for adolescent fathers is proposed. The nature of support systems that may help adolescent fathers more adequately perform their parental role is discussed and an empirical investigation that provides one type of supportive intervention is outlined.

Journal of Family …

Jennifer ELIZABETH Lefever

Little%20is%20known%20about%20the%20extent%2C%20nature%2C%20and%20impact% 20of%20fathers%20of%20children%20with%20adolescent%20mothers%2E%20The%20current% 20study%20measured%20father%20involvement%20with%20134%20children%20of ...

W.andrew Collins

RELATED PAPERS

Slavic & Jewish Cultures: Dialogue, Similarities, Differences

Svetlana Pogodina

OTT OTTO ROOTS

Siegfried Sauermoser

Kvinnovetenskaplig tidskrift

Lise Nielsen

Ochrona zdrowia i gospodarka. Pacjenci, świadczeniodawcy, turystyka medyczna

Maciej Rogala

Italian journal of anatomy and embryology

Giovanni Delfino

Majid Mirzazadeh

The American Journal of Human Genetics

stefania bandinelli

Lev Greenberg

Journal of Chromatography A

Angela Bassoli

Nuklearmedizin

J. Müller-Brand

Bárbara Socas Rodríguez

Sports Biomechanics

pablo gonzalez frutos

RSC Advances

Alexander I. Nosich

Silvia Terrazas Lopez

Journal of Plant Molecular Breeding

Dr Kamal Ghasemi Bezdi

Innovation in Aging

leila Aflatoony

JOURNAL OF HEALTHCARE TECHNOLOGY AND MEDICINE

Faradilla Safitri

Reginald Ho

Nowa Audiofonologia

Joanna Kobosko

Erik Pernando

Global: Jurnal Politik Internasional

Ikhwan Rahmatika Latif

Ethical Lingua: Journal of Language Teaching and Literature

Akbar Akbar

The International Journal of Children's Rights

Andrea Wheeler

RELATED TOPICS

•   We're Hiring!
•   Help Center
• Find new research papers in:
• Health Sciences
• Earth Sciences
• Cognitive Science
• Mathematics
• Computer Science
• Academia ©2024

• Free Samples
• Premium Essays
• Editing Services Editing Proofreading Rewriting
• Extra Tools Essay Topic Generator Thesis Generator Citation Generator GPA Calculator Study Guides Donate Paper
• Essay Writing Help
• About Us About Us Testimonials FAQ
• Studentshare
• Mother and Child Relationship

Mother and Child Relationship - Essay Example

• Subject: Psychology
• Type: Essay
• Level: Undergraduate
• Pages: 6 (1500 words)
• Downloads: 1
• Author: solon33

Extract of sample "Mother and Child Relationship"

• Cited: 0 times
• Copy Citation Citation is copied Copy Citation Citation is copied Copy Citation Citation is copied

CHECK THESE SAMPLES OF Mother and Child Relationship

Instant impact of the whole word, the making and breaking of relationships in running with scissors, age does not matter in relationships, psychology and child psychiatry, instant impact of the whole word, difference in relationship of parents with their only child or child with siblings, interaction with others, your relationship with the natural world.

• TERMS & CONDITIONS
• PRIVACY POLICY
• COOKIES POLICY

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Mother — Relationship Between Mother and Child: Comparison to Father’s Role

Relationship Between Mother and Child: Comparison to Father's Role

• Categories: Mother Parent-Child Relationship Parenting

About this sample

Words: 2198 |

11 min read

Published: Aug 4, 2023

Words: 2198 | Pages: 5 | 11 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, involvement of a mother and father in parenting, benefits of father's involvement , comparison of relationship between mother and child, child's relationship with mother and father.

• Works Cited

April 15, 2024

How Parents Can Heal Rifts with Their Adult Children

Repairing a broken parent-adult child relationship is possible if both sides approach it earnestly and honestly

By Joshua Coleman

Oliver Rossi/Getty Images

This piece is part of Scientific American's column The Science of Parenting. To learn more, go here .

Two parents reached out to me recently after their grown son cut off contact with them. In a letter, he’d told them that his problems with intimacy stemmed from emotional abuse inflicted by his parents when he was younger, according to his therapist. The son, their middle child, went on to say that he felt traumatized and didn’t want them around his children. He asked them to respect this new boundary. These parents were devastated. They thought their family had been close and loving.

As a practicing psychologist who also researches estrangement, I hear stories like this every day. While the adult child’s accusations vary, they are similar in quality and tone. The son’s invoking of his therapist’s authority, the allegations of parental abuse, his desire to protect his own children and his request for boundaries all track a newly familiar script regarding estrangement.

On supporting science journalism

If you're enjoying this article, consider supporting our award-winning journalism by subscribing . By purchasing a subscription you are helping to ensure the future of impactful stories about the discoveries and ideas shaping our world today.

In counseling the mostly shocked and confused parents who find me after being cut out of their adult children’s lives, I make no assumptions about innocence or guilt. I know that parents can present themselves in an idealized light. I know that some mothers and fathers truly have been abusive. But I also know that not every accused parent is guilty as charged.

We start with reflection. While most parents are eager to heal the rift, many fail to recognize that these days the relationship between a parent and an adult child occurs with the latter’s mental health as the backdrop. It’s the focal point around which all discussion circles. To make any progress with their growth-focused child, parents must examine the mistakes they made in the recent or distant past.

Next the parents need to understand their child’s goals in severing ties. Was it out of hurt or anger? In pursuit of happiness? Mental illness? As an expression of identity or individuation? While there may be significant positives for the estranged child, their parents row a different boat entirely. There was no upside at all for a single mother in my practice when her grown child’s decision ended the routine she’d enjoyed with her two young grandchildren: the park on Tuesdays, music class on Thursdays. She began to feel physically ill whenever passing a playground. Like most of my clients, this mom found herself drowning in profound feelings of loss, shame, social isolation and guilt.

The parents I’ve described find themselves desperate to fix the rift with their adult child, and when the child demands no contact, the burden falls to the parents. Part of what makes that effort challenging is that an adult child can reasonably claim they were abused using today’s language of therapy, and the parent can reasonably claim that they were not abusive based on their own generation’s definitions.

A 2016 study by Australian psychologist Nick Haslam provides a way of understanding this disparity in perspectives. Haslam notes that the definitions of harm, trauma, abuse and neglect used by psychologists have grown in the past few decades to incorporate more symptoms and to pathologize experiences that previous generations considered normal. He found that the proliferation of mental disorders in successive editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual went from 47 conditions in 1952 to 300 in today’s DSM-IV . Trauma used to require a serious threat to life or limb and exist outside of normal experience. Now, for better or worse, someone can make claims of harm, neglect or trauma without any evidence beyond that person’s subjective experience.

There is good and bad news to this more contemporary version of harm: On the one hand, it offers a nuanced and socially authoritative way to characterize experiences that weren’t recognized by prior generations. Modern conceptions of trauma can start a conversation between parents and their adult children, prompting them to deepen their understanding of each other and to heal injuries prior generations would have left to fester. On the other hand, behaviors and emotions common to human experience for eons can now look diagnosable, pathological and traumatizing. Take another set of parents I’ve counseled. Their 33-year-old daughter accused them of abuse, but all the examples cited constituted normal parts of childhood and adolescence: feeling misunderstood by her dad, wanting comfort more quickly than that offered by her mother, and wishing both had praised her more readily. The result today is adult children like their daughter rejecting parents who are far more amicable and less culpable than their therapists and the culture at large have led them to believe.

Here lies the confusion for older generations, most of whom grew up in stricter, less sensitive environments. When boomers’ parents criticized them, no one labeled it emotional abuse. When their parents tried to convince them to adopt a different perspective, no one called it gaslighting. And no one considered it neglect when the silent generation (born 1928–1945) allowed boomer children to mope in their rooms, when they didn’t intercede to talk through their feelings. Raised in an environment of honor thy mother and thy father, today’s parents are also perplexed by their adult children’s prioritization of self-development. As historian Steven Mintz wrote in The Prime of Life: A History of Modern Adulthood ,“No longer do the young long to grow up. Instead, the goal is simply to grow.”

That rooting out the traumas of childhood is essential to this endeavor seems self-evident to one generation and perplexing, even self-indulgent and wasteful, to another.

None of this is to say that therapy, particularly modern talk therapy, is categorically toxic or unhelpful. But it’s not always positive, or even benign , either. This is especially true when therapists assume traumatic experiences must have occurred based on a client’s current depression, anxiety or suicidal ideation. While childhood events may indeed create those symptoms, recent studies on genetics , cohort differences , socioeconomic status , peer influence , neighborhood and even random luck highlight the limits and limitations of this inference. They explain, at least in part, why reasonable parents may later be accused of failing as mothers or fathers by adult children who consume mental health content on Reddit, TikTok or Instagram.

The role of memory is another common source of dispute in parent–adult child relations. Most people feel confident that memory operates like a time-stamped video camera, capturing events as they occur and rendering them retrievable under the right conditions. Research indicates otherwise, which explains why both parents and adult children can be wrong about the past. One client shared with me an incredible trip to Hawaii in 1983, where her son, 15 years old at the time, went bodysurfing from sunrise to sundown. He has memories of spending long stretches of time alone in a hotel room. Such differences in the lived experiences of generations—something I see often—raise the risk of conflict and misunderstandings.

Because of these disparities, mending rifts requires that both parents and adult children show humility. From the parent must come a recognition that, despite their good intentions, their now-grown child experienced their behavior as more hurtful than they realized. A parent’s willingness to accept responsibility and find the kernel if not the bushel of truth in their adult child’s complaints—however at odds with their own memories or experiences—can create opportunities for a closer and deeper relationship with their sons and daughters.

From the adult child must come a recognition that their parents too are in the throes of genetic dictates, partner provocations, childhood traumas, financial threats and cultural milieu. For the adult child to look back and say that the parent should’ve known better or behaved differently— that their parents now deserve distance, if not contempt—is wrong.

After asking parents new to my office to engage in reflection, after explaining the new landscape in which their children are living, and after ensuring them that humility will increase their odds of reclaiming a relationship, I encourage mothers and fathers to express a willingness to abide by their child’s ideals and boundaries. The children hold all the cards, and often those cards are access not only to them but to their grandchildren. This type of commitment to the adult child, and a sincere attempt to fulfill it, is necessary.

Not everyone is able to do these things. Some parents just can’t empathize with their grown children, or even if they empathize, can’t accept any responsibility for their child’s pain. And even when parents follow these steps, not all children are willing to engage or, ultimately, to modify their opinion of the parents. Those families remain stuck in a kind of permanent purgatory of hurt and misunderstanding alongside longing.

But the first couple aren’t among them. They reached out to their son and acknowledged their blind spots, as well as their newfound understanding that their actions had been hurtful to him. They apologized for being defensive in response to his initial letter and said they wanted to learn more about how they had affected him and what they might need to change so as to heal the relationship. They suggested meeting with me or another family therapist to work on the issues that he’d raised. The son wrote back shortly after and said he was both grateful and surprised by their response. The four of us began meeting, and over time, the family was able to heal a rift that had seemed irreparable to both sides.

In all relationships—romantic, platonic or familial—a commitment to viewing the other with compassion is an essential ingredient for progress to occur. For parents and adult children who can approach each other in this way, a better relationship can often emerge from the ashes.

One much deeper and richer than either side thought possible.

This is an opinion and analysis article, and the views expressed by the author or authors are not necessarily those of Scientific American.

• Search Please fill out this field.
• Manage Your Subscription
• Give a Gift Subscription
• Newsletters
• Sweepstakes

Billy Joel's 3 Daughters: All About Alexa, Della and Remy

Billy Joel shares adult daughter Alexa Ray with ex-wife Christie Brinkley and young daughters Della Rose and Remy Anne with his current wife, Alexis Roderick

Billy Joel is a girl dad.

The singer welcomed his first child, daughter Alexa Ray Joel , 38, in 1985 with his then-wife, model Christie Brinkley . In 2015, he became a father again with the birth of daughter Della Rose Joel , 8, whom he shares with his fourth wife, Alexis Roderick. The couple's second daughter, Remy Anne Joel , 6, was born two years later.

After meeting at a Long Island restaurant in 2009, Joel wed Roderick in July 2015 during their annual Fourth of July party at Joel's Long Island estate. Roderick, an accomplished equestrian and a former executive at Morgan Stanley, gave birth to Della one month later. "Billy is thrilled to become a dad again," a source told PEOPLE at the time.

Joel's daughters often support him when he's on stage, and this year, the musician celebrated a big milestone in his career: The 100th show of his residency at Madison Square Garden. The concert was filmed for a special that aired on CBS on April 14, but after it was cut short when Masters Tournament coverage ran longer than the network expected, CBS announced plans to re-air Billy Joel: The 100 — Live at Madison Square Garden on April 19 at 9 p.m. ET.

In 2019, the music icon told Rolling Stone that he often gets mistaken for his youngest kids' grandfather.

"I take (them) to school and one of the other parents will go, 'Oh, your granddaughter's so cute,' " he shared. "I still love being a dad. I didn't know that I would be a father again at this age, but I'm glad I am," he added. "They keep you young."

Over the years, Joel's music fame has afforded Della and Remy several special experiences, including meeting Taylor Swift , performing "Jingle Bells" at Madison Square Garden and attending the 2024 Grammys .

Here's everything to know about Billy Joel's kids: Alexa Ray, Della and Remy.

Alexa Ray Joel, 38

Joel married supermodel Christie Brinkley in 1985, and the former couple welcomed their first and only daughter that same year. Alexa Ray was born on Dec. 29, 1985, in a Manhattan hospital.

Named after the great Ray Charles, whom her father duetted with on "Baby Grand," Alexa Ray is now an accomplished singer-songwriter herself.

Alexa had a fairly normal upbringing and had "no idea" her parents were famous while growing up on Long Island. "My parents tried to shield me from how famous they were when I was growing up," she told New York Magazine in 2010. "When everybody said 'Hello, Billy! Hello, Christie!' — I just thought they were popular."

An accomplished and classically-trained pianist, Alexa Ray started composing music and writing poetry at a young age, and she already had a repertoire of finished songs complete with lyrics and a piano arrangement at 15.

"I grew up listening to my dad write songs at the piano for hours," she told Chorus and Verse in 2006. "I definitely believe that music is something that is in my blood, something that I was born to do."

Her first EP, "Sketches," was released independently the same year, and her latest single, pop ballad "Seven Years," debuted in 2021, inspired by her fiancé Ryan Gleason . Her father had the sweetest reaction to hearing the track for the first time, and called her right away. "He's pretty low-key, but he was like, 'Honey, this is great!' So enthusiastic!"

"I write music in the same way [Joel] does: melody first, and lyrics second," she once said of her songwriting process, and added that both her parents "couldn't be more supportive." Over the years, Alexa Ray has appeared in several of her dad's music videos, including "The River of Dreams" and "A Matter of Trust."

The singer-songwriter got engaged to her longtime partner Gleason at the start of 2018. "FOR ONCE in my life, I had absolutely no words, and I couldn't speak," she said on Instagram of the surprise proposal .

While the couple's wedding plans had to be postponed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the bride-to-be told PEOPLE she has a clear vision for the nuptials : "We want that Cipriani-vibe, very New York, old-school Italian," she explained. And of course, there will be a father-daughter duet! "We're going to sing. We're going to duet. It's going to be like a musical."

Alexa Ray is close to her younger siblings, too. In December 2020, the "Uptown Girl" singer shared an adorable video of Della singing happy birthday to her big sister. "Happy Birthday to our big sister @alexarayjoel," the post read. "You have been singing us lullabies since we were born. We are so excited to finally get to sing to you on your birthday. We love you more than words can say!"

Alexa Ray often performs with her dad, and even when she's not on stage with him, she shows her support in other ways. Ahead of the re-aring of the Billy Joel: The 100 special on CBS, she posted a clip on Instagram to remind her followers to tune in.

"Just a reminder to catch the Full Re-Airing of Pop’s 100th Show at ‘Madison Square Garden’ on CBS TV TOMORROW NIGHT! ON: FRIDAY, APRIL 19TH 💫 AT: 9 PM EASTERN✨You know I’ll be watching n’ singing along… P.S. I’ll be seeing you back at The Garden soon," she wrote in her caption.

Della Rose Joel, 8

Joel's second child — and first with wife Alexis Roderick — Della Rose was born on Aug. 12, 2015, in New York.

Two days after her birth, Alexa Ray celebrated her new little sister on Instagram , writing, "Celebrating the arrival of my precious little sister this week 🙌✨With Pop and his Darling's happiness at their peak. As long as you are growing in love and loyalty you're cultivating a life worth more than royalty, 👑💎."

While playing Madison Square Garden in July 2018, Joel dedicated "Don't Ask Me Why" to then-3-year-old Della. "It's her favorite!" he said.

Later that year, little Della joined her dad on the same MSG stage to sing "Don't Ask Me Why " — clad in pink Christmas-themed pajamas.

On Della's birthday in 2021, Joel shared a heartfelt Instagram post in her honor. "Happy 6th Birthday Della Rose! On your birthday it reminds us of how grateful we are to have you in our lives," his post reads. "You and your sister have been our quarantine entertainment. There are no other people we would want to be stuck with at home!!! We love you more every day and year."

Remy Anne Joel, 6

Joel and Roderick welcomed their second child, Remy Anne, on Oct. 22, 2017. Following her birth, a rep for Joel told PEOPLE exclusively, "Everyone is thrilled." Both Joel and his eldest daughter Alexa Ray were present in the delivery room.

In October 2023, Joel celebrated Remy's 6th birthday with an Instagram carousel of the little girl. "Happy Birthday to our Remy Roo. We love the person you have become," he wrote in the caption. "You definitely broke the mold💕💕 Happy 6th Birthday, sweet girl!"

The birthday tribute also included a photo of Remy posing next to a horse.

Related Articles