essays about divorced parents

Personal Narrative Essay : The Divorce Of My Parents

When I was younger, growing up was not always the easiest thing. From a young age, I was faced with the difficulty of having divorced parents. Most of my friends did not have to go through this struggle, so it was hard to explain why I could not always hang out with them every weekend. “I can’t, I’m at my mom’s this weekend”, became a phrase I used quite often. However, when I was small, I thought it was kind of cool in a way because I got two birthdays, two Christmases, and two vacations. Eventually, both of my parents remarried. My father remarried my stepmother who also had two children who were both older than I was, but younger than my brother. My mother remarried and then had two more children with him. 

I felt as a kid, I missed out on some opportunities that other kids my age got to experience. Also growing up it was not always easy watching your two parents not get along. As I got older, it was very difficult to be able to do everything that I wanted to because it would mess up our schedule that we had, which made my mother kind of upset. When my younger siblings were born, things started going downhill. We had to watch our younger siblings all of the time, and it was our responsibility to keep them entertained. My sister and I are about five years apart, and my younger brother and I are about six years apart. So keeping them entertained was kind of difficult since we were all children.

I thought growing up that the one “hard” thing I would have to deal with was my parents divorce, however that was wrong. My mother got divorced for the second time. This came as a shock to me. At this point, I hardly ever saw my younger siblings. Between me starting competitive gymnastics, school, and their different schedules it could go months without seeing them which was very hard for me as a kid. I noticed right after the divorce my mother did not seem like herself, but at the age of nine, I had figured it was just the stress from the divorce. As time went on, the things that were happening continued. For example, she would cancel a weekend here and there or she would have friends over the whole weekend barely making time for us. However after one weekend, we quickly realized what it was.

It was Halloween in 2015 and it was my mother’s weekend. I was ten, my oldest brother was fifteen, my younger sister was six, and my youngest brother was five. My father told us to go downtown to the Trunk or Treat in town, so we could see friends and still go trick or treating. We were downtown for about twenty minutes before we left, and did not get to see my father who was expecting to see us dressed up. Earlier in the day, my mother and I were planning my eleventh birthday party since it was in two weeks. However, the topic changed quickly when we were talking about our plans for the rest of the night. My mother talked in a very serious tone about what we were doing. She made very strict rules of what we could do. At the time I did not realize what was going on until later. My mother had taken my siblings and I to an “adult” party. 

The day after everything had happened I was still very confused. When my mother was taking me and my brother back to our fathers, she had specifically told us not to tell him what had happened, and to say after we went downtown we went back home. As we got in the car with our father, he already knew what had happened. Still as a young child I did not understand anything that was truthfully happening. My brother had explained to me that our mother had some deeper lying issues that turned her to drugs and alcohol. Even at the age of ten I knew those things were bad, and they could have seriously harmed me or my siblings. My father was furious with my mother, as he had every right to be because she had potentially endangered me and my siblings lives by being there at a young age. My father was granted full custody of my brother and I, after it was taken to court.

As a child having to experience things like this made it very difficult to talk to my friends at some points. Every once and a while I would leave school early to have to talk to someone, but when my friends asked I simply said that I had some kind of appointment. It was very hard for me to be able to come to terms with the fact that my mother would not be a part of my life. I struggled with this for a while, and I kind of started shutting people out because I did not know how to express my feelings, and I did not know how to feel. I was angry, upset, hurt, and so many more feelings that confused me at a young age. I had also convinced myself that somehow it was my fault, and that I had done something wrong for things to end up the way that they had.

Six years later, I have come to terms with this. I have understood that there was nothing I did or could have done to cause this. Sure, every once in a while I will get upset over it but it will happen. I have also realized that I have an amazing support system, and that I can talk to anyone whenever I need to. I have an amazing family that has helped every step of the way, my friends have always been there for me whenever I needed them, my boyfriend who has become a big part of my life who I can call any hour of the day if I needed him. I know many people are not blessed with having such a great support system, but I am very fortunate to have one, and for that I am forever grateful.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how to write a college essay about divorced parents.

Hi all, my parents recently got divorced and it's had a big impact on my life. I want to write about it in my college essay, but I don't want it to sound too negative. Any advice on how to approach this topic and share my story in a meaningful way?

When writing a college essay about your parents' divorce, it's important to focus on personal growth and development rather than the negativity of the situation. Here are some tips to help you approach this topic in a meaningful way:

1. Focus on your growth: Highlight how the experience of your parents getting divorced has led to personal growth or development. Perhaps you learned valuable lessons about resilience, independence, or empathy from the situation. Show how these qualities have made you a stronger person and will benefit you in your future academic and personal pursuits.

2. Share a specific personal anecdote: Avoid talking about your parents' divorce in general terms. Instead, focus on a specific event or moment from your life that illustrates the impact of the divorce on you. This will make your essay more engaging and relatable to the reader.

3. Balance positivity and realism: While it's important not to dwell on the negative aspects of your parents' divorce, you also want to be honest about the challenges you faced. Try to strike a balance between acknowledging the adversity you've been through and emphasizing the positive growth or realizations that emerged from the situation.

4. Demonstrate self-awareness: Being introspective about how the experience has shaped you is crucial. Show that you have a deep understanding of your emotions, thoughts, and reactions throughout the process. This shows maturity and self-awareness, which are qualities that colleges value in their applicants.

5. Relate the experience to your goals: Explain how your parents' divorce and the lessons you learned from it have influenced your academic, career, or life goals. This will help the reader understand the significance of your story and see how it's relevant to your aspirations.

6. Proofread and revise: Finally, make sure to revise, proofread, and seek feedback from a trusted teacher, counselor, or mentor to ensure your essay is well-written and effectively conveys your message.

By focusing on your personal growth, sharing a specific anecdote, balancing positivity with realism, demonstrating self-awareness, and relating your experience to your goals, you can write a meaningful college essay about your parents' divorce that will resonate with admissions officers.

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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When parents split up – your stories

A cruel choice.

Our mother took the three of us to Italy without Dad when I was 13. We stayed in a hotel with full board and went to the beach every day. It was quite wonderful and I don’t remember asking why Dad had not come. One day at lunch, we were sitting at a table, my younger brother and sister on either side of Mum and me opposite. She told us they were getting divorced: Dad was moving out to be with his new girlfriend and would probably want to take one of us to live with them.

My little brother put his hand on Mum’s arm and said: “Not me. I want to stay with you.”

My sister put her hand on Mum’s other arm and said: “He can’t have me, I am staying with you, too.”

Then all three silently looked at me. I felt for a horrid moment that they all hated me. But I was certain that Dad liked me a lot less than the other two. So I said: “Well, me, he won’t want.”

I wonder how my mother felt at that moment. We never talked about it again. In the end, he took none of us but he did take the dog, which hurt all of us kids the most.

Saskia Wesnigk-Wood

Dance of freedom

My mother could have gone to university. She was a working-class London grammar school child and an avid reader. She loved rock music and was considered born out of her time. She got pregnant, aged 18, with me and married hurriedly in 1958. To her young eyes, my father had the look of Marlon Brando. “He was silent and broody and could look after himself,” she said. She was a romantic then. 

My father drank and gambled. He used his wife as a punch bag. He burnt her records on the coal fire. She hid books under the settee cushions. We “begged” potatoes from the next door neighbours. They were bemused but generous.

I was 10 years old, one of six, and my youngest sibling was one. I came home from school one day and was met by my mother at the kitchen door. “I’m divorcing your father,” she said. She explained what this meant. Like a bird in first flight I was lifted up but without moving. We had a spontaneous dance around the kitchen. I still had my coat on. It was one of the highs of my childhood and family life.

I still see the pebble-effect vinyl on the kitchen floor when I remember. It was all, O Blessed Mother Mary, a welcome release.

Louie Robinson

All for the best

My parents split up when I was 10. I was getting ready for bed when they told me that they needed to talk to me. They said that they were separating, and that Dad would be moving out. I burst into tears, though I had expected this. It was the thought of our family splitting up that scared me. My dad moved into the spare bedroom for six months, then got an apartment. At times, I worried that he might stop visiting us and I cried for many nights, feeling so sad thinking about him alone in his apartment. But everything was more peaceful.

I felt relieved that their loud arguments wouldn’t happen any more. Ten years on, I’m so glad they were brave enough to make that decision. So many couples say that they stayed together for the sake of their children, but I think my parents’ separation made us all happier. By being true to themselves, they were proving their strength as parents. They knew that what they were doing was for the best. Now they can have amiable conversations and can reminisce fondly about the good times. It was the best decision for the family. 

Milly Burke Cunningham

Birthday to remember

It was at my 11th birthday party in 1946. My mother had made the usual glorious cake and sandwiches. I had just passed the exams for grammar school and was enjoying my presents: a tennis racquet, school blazer and matching set of Conway Stewart pens together with a bunch of pink carnations and blue cornflowers.

My friends were waiting to light the candles on my birthday cake when, in the background, I heard an argument between my mother and father and my father’s friend.

He pushed my mother, I said, “Dad, don’t do that,” and he turned and slapped me across the face – the first time he had ever hit me. Then he announced he was leaving us (my mother and us four children) to go and live with Uncle Dick. The tea party broke up and Dad and Dick left.

For years I thought it was my fault and it took many more years to realise my father had left us for another man.

Sukie Tomass

They made me laugh

My parents split up when I was six. I am nine now. I was downstairs watching television with my baby sister when my gran told me that my mummy and daddy wanted to speak to me. I thought it was going to be happy.

When I got to their room, they told me. They said it in the best way possible – though it doesn’t really matter how you say it, it will still be really sad. When I cried they hugged me and made me laugh by saying, “We’re still friends”, “Hi”, “Hello” and waved to each other.

After a few years, I got used to it and wasn’t as sad (but I’m still sad).

My daddy only lives a few roads away and we visit. We stay at his flat a lot and he comes over to our house almost every morning. My parents are always there if I want to talk and now they are happier and don’t fight often.

I really want them to get back together and it work out, but it is not that simple. We are all happy and love each other, which is the main thing.

Emily Harwell, aged nine

A change of plan

It was May 1974. My dad had been working in Canada for a year and my mum, my seven-year-old brother and I were due to emigrate and join him. I had just turned 12 and on this day my best friend was coming round to my house after school for tea.

As we entered the house I sensed an atmosphere. Mum hastily sent my friend away saying that she couldn’t stay as Dad was home. This was great news as I hadn’t seen him for a year. I was so excited but he just seemed subdued and quiet. Then they sat my brother and me down to talk. Mum said they were getting a divorce and that she wasn’t going to Canada. Then Mum asked who we’d like to be with.

I remember my answer: “We want to go to Canada.”

We’d been surrounded by the prospect of Canada for a year. We’d had our medicals and everything. It was all we talked about. What happened next was surreal. My mum jumped up and shouted hysterically that she’d had us for a year and now it was my dad’s turn. He could have us. She packed some stuff and left.

Life changed drastically. Dad sold our house, left us with my aunt and went back to Canada. He promised to send for us within a couple of months but two years later he announced he didn’t want us and so began another story. 

Anita Forde

A fait accompli

I was sitting on the back seat of a strange man’s car when my mother told me she was leaving my father. My mother was sitting in the front next to the man, who, it transpired, was her boss.

It was the school summer holidays. I was seven, had just left infant school and was about to enter the juniors. My brother was 11 and about to start grammar school. Big changes!

The day had started normally. My parents went to work as usual. I was in the care of Mrs Dicker, our cleaner-cum-childminder. My brother was spending the day with a friend. Around 11am, Mrs Dicker grumblingly walked me the mile back to our house.

My mother was standing on the pavement outside. Mrs Dicker was dismissed and I was taken round the corner to a spiffy black and red car. As we set off, I was told we were going on holiday to a farm in Cornwall. I liked holidays and farms, but didn’t like what followed.

Although I didn’t really understand what I was being told, I did understand that I wouldn’t be able to see my brother or my adored father every day, just at weekends. “I have to see Daddy every day. I just have to!”

I got off lightly. My brother and father found typed notes waiting on the mantelpiece when they came home unsuspectingly. I didn’t see these notes until my father died. They are chilling.

Jacqueline Graham

Our secret flit

Since 1939, we’d had a carpet shop in Huddersfield. In 1945 I was 14 and about to sit exams. I was off school for no reason I can remember, Rodney, seven, and Toby, six, being at home as well. Anne, 11, was at school. Dad came back from his lunchtime booze and went to sleep it off, as usual.

Then a lorry arrived in the back, driven by Fred, an acquaintance of mother’s friend Emmy. Everything happened very quickly. Worried, I asked what was going on.

“We are going to Emmy’s cottage in Bradford,” said Mum.

I was horrified, I didn’t want to leave Dad or school. “Go and get Anne from school,” she said.

The lorry was loaded with beds, clothes and stock from the shop, which mother felt was hers by rights.

Amazingly, Dad didn’t wake.

The cottage in Bradford was one-up, one-down, without kitchen, bathroom or hot water and an ancient outside lavatory. We had a bed in each corner, mother downstairs. We had left Dad before: he was an alcoholic – lovely and charming sober, dreadful when drunk.

This time we didn’t go back, but that night I wept. Mother, courageous and daring (there were no telephones to coordinate the flit), made a successful business selling rugs on Bradford and Knaresboro’ markets.

Kate Meynell

Cold comfort in Spain

I am 21, a 6ft strapping lad on a study year in Granada, Spain. I had been home at Christmas. All seemed normal. My flatmate in Granada, home too, stayed the night before we travelled back together to Spain. She is pretty and bubbly and my parents assume, incorrectly, that we are an item. Nothing is said. Much is left unsaid in our house.

We have to leave early in the morning and I go into my parents’ room to say goodbye. My father, whose last conversation with me about relationships was to ask if I felt a calling to the priesthood, whispers that I should take care not to get tied down too early.

It is spring 1976. Now I am waiting for my mother at Malaga airport, a flying visit. We chat on the bus and she asks if I remember Bob. I do, he was fun to be with: read comics, played keepy-uppy football.

We sit on the Balcón de Europa in Nerja. My mum announces, “Your dad and I are getting divorced and I am moving in with Bob. Your brothers have known since before Christmas.”

I cry as she consoles me.

I visit my mum and Bob in the summer. In the downstairs loo is a postcard from Nerja, from Mum to Bob, showing the Balcón. I turn it over and read the only two words: “Mission accomplished.”

Paul Murphy

Voices on the landing

I was lying in bed one night, drowsy and on the edge of sleep, yet half aware of my father just down the corridor, wallpapering the landing outside my brothers’ bedroom. He was talking quietly to my older brother. The gentle murmur of their voices lulled me into sleep. But then, suddenly, I was alert and wide awake as my father said, “I don’t love your mother any more.” There followed more ugly, jarring words to the effect that he loved someone else now instead of her.

This was how, aged 10, I learned of the split that was to come.

At first my brother and I bore the knowledge silently and separately. I sensed that he was burdened by the secret he had been entrusted with, and my heart ached for him. But I couldn’t admit to what I’d heard; this was too big, too frightening, and I feared that speaking about it might make it true and real. Also, I felt guilty for eavesdropping. Part of me hoped I had been dreaming but deep down I knew that I wasn’t, and within weeks things came into the open as matters escalated and our family world broke apart.

Name and address withheld

And then he was gone

I never was told my father was leaving my mother. But then neither was she.  Nor was my brother. Nor sister. He just left after a “State of the Union Address” (or not) to my mother.

It was 1970 and I was five. I should have worked out something was afoot. My parents had been to Paris days before they split and returned, unusually, with a gift for each of us. My father assured me that my gift , a model of a Ferrari, had my age on it as its racing number. Much thought had gone into its selection. Really? When I ripped the wrapping paper off I discovered he thought I was eight. The moment of silence between my parents was, I suspect, the decision point. Well, for him at least. And it almost deafened me. I remember consoling my mother, telling her, “Dad can’t have left – he’s left all his clothes behind.”

He came to collect those shortly thereafter, along with his books, our furniture and, subsequently – but for a deft piece of legal manoeuvring by my mother’s QC in the divorce courts – the title deeds to our home. We remained, however.

I was a little surprised this week, therefore, to receive an invitation to help “celebrate” his 40th wedding anniversary to his second wife (albeit a charming lady). I turned it down, saying I would be busy with other things. Like cutting the grass. I now take more care with wrapped presents and expectations too.

Into the chasm

I can still see myself standing there. I remember it so clearly after more than five decades. I was 16, in the middle of my O-levels. I heard raised voices downstairs, so I came out of my room and peered over the banisters. In the hall below my father was crying. I had never seen him cry. My strong, glamorous father crying ?

My mother was saying, “Just go.” 

And he went. As easily as that. He never said goodbye. 

This was catastrophic, a chasm opened beneath my feet. Eight months later I stopped eating and had a nervous breakdown. He came to see me in hospital but it was stiff and awkward. Our relationship never recovered and I often blamed my mother. Years later when I was fully recovered and married, we would invite him for meals but he never came. He never knew my children and I am sorry for that. They are too.  

I have worked with children for many years and am often told by separating parents,  “But it’s fine, the children are OK about it.” I wonder, really? Or are they still numb with shock and gazing into the chasm? 

Carol Norris

Cakes were a clue

I was 13 when Dad tried to tell me he was leaving Mum for another woman. He asked me if I knew who had been making the fruit cakes we had been eating over the last few months and I guessed correctly. Dad was impressed. “You’re very astute, kid,” he said.

In reality, I was totally confused.

“There comes a time when a working man needs his shirt ironed and a plate of food on the table,” he said.

He also said other, more emotional things that made his voice falter. I felt very important (my 11-year-old sister wasn’t the chosen confidante), but unsettled. Was Dad – a welder and a formidable force – wiping away a tear? I certainly didn’t understand what he was trying to say, even though, at this point, he had already moved out of our caravan and into the barn.

My parents’ separation and divorce were never discussed; it was the physical distance between Mum and Dad that defined their parting. First they sat at opposite ends of the table, not talking. Then Dad lived in the barn, and later a caravan in the farthest field of the farm. He eventually moved into a house an hour’s train journey away with the woman who made the fruit cake. Mum later sold the land and bought a home 300 miles north.

 My parents were apart after 13 years together; yet their mutual respect and love for each other grew deeper, right up to Mum’s death this year. 

Karen Lindsay

Don’t tell your brother

When my mum and I left home 45 years ago, I was 11. She said one day, “We’re leaving your dad. Don’t tell anyone, not even your little brother. Just put any toys and books you really want to take in a pile over there.” I didn’t have a clue what was going on – 45 years ago, divorce was uncommon and no one I knew had divorced parents.

A few days later, she told me to let my teacher know she would be picking me up from school in the morning for a dental appointment. She collected me, leaving my little brother at school, and we went. She’d left a note on the kitchen table saying she was leaving and had made arrangements for my brother to be collected from school.

And that was it. We never had the big talk about how it wasn’t my fault and Mummy and Daddy both still loved us, let alone why she’d just taken me and not both of us.

She had arranged to stay with an old school friend, where we slept on camp beds for a couple of months. I don’t remember ever missing my dad, but I missed my little brother so much that first night.

Martin Murray

• Divorce (Life and style)
• Relationships
• Divorce (Money)
• Parents and parenting

More on this story

Children and divorce: 'I just want to know why they broke up'

Growing up under the divorce cloud

More of us divorce later in life, so it's time we acted like grown-ups

'dad was crying on one shoulder and mum on the other'.

It's wrong to use children as a weapon in divorce or separation

How I picked myself up after divorce

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Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

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Personal Narrative: My Experience With Divorced Parents Essay

When I was five years old, my parents got divorced. Through the separation process, and some years after, my parents fought a lot. They sometimes brought my 2 sisters and I into it, which was really frustrating. Growing up with parents who are divorced has been a struggle for me throughout my life. It’s hard to put into words my experience and ongoing trials I go through with divorced parents. My parents met when my mom was in her early twenties and my dad was thirty. They got married a couple years following the time they started dating.

Shortly after getting married, they had my older sister Maddy, then me, and after that they had my younger sister Cassie. I can clearly remember us being a happy family. I had the best parents who worked as a team. We did a lot of stuff together as a family, gardening, playing outside, and staying active. We lived in a big house off of 85th in Green Lake, Seattle. I remember being young when the fighting started, yelling and screaming. It scared my sisters and me a lot. No one wants to witness their parents fighting as a kid.

When I was five, Maddy seven, and Cassie three, our parents got divorced. Once the process was finished, my mom got custody of us and took us to live in a house with her. My dad stayed at our house in Ballard and we moved into a house with my mom and her new boyfriend, which is also whose baby she was carrying. Over the next few years, we had been back and forth between both parents. I remember I sometimes hated leaving my mom and dad. I wished I could be with both of them at the same time. Me and my sisters lived in a new house in Everett, with our then new Step dad, Mom, and baby sister Meghan.

Whenever we went over to my dads, there was always something my parents were fighting about, whether it involved us or not, we would always get an earful from both of them. This point of their separation really affected me the most. I didn’t realize until I got older that we should have never been exposed to that part of their lives, considering how young we were. Another part of their divorce was dealing with a step dad I’ve never been fond of, and neither were my sisters. It was somewhat of a culture shock, him growing up in Mexico, and for us, as we began living with a guy who wasn’t even our dad.

I would always ask my mom why she couldn’t have married someone else. Someone we liked. My step dad was the type of guy who only cared about his “real” children, not us. It became a constant struggle for attention from my Mom. When we were young, my sister and I were treated like maids around the house when my step dad was around. He is honestly one of the main reasons why the divorce was so heartbreaking for me and my siblings. I feel as if my mom had married someone who supported her and loved her unconditionally; it would have made more of a positive impact during this hard time in our life.

Later on, around fourteen or fifteen years of age, I saw my dad slip away from me. I saw him less and less every month. This crushed me; I didn’t understand it at all. Once I got to high school, I never saw my dad. I would try to think of the last time | had seen him and I couldn’t even remember when it was. My dad had lost both of his parents in the last year and I always had this feeling he had never moved on from the divorce. My dad has always been stubborn and I think he has always held onto that part of his life. How could you not?

I remember my dad had told me when I was in middle school, that he had been an alcoholic . He said he drank a lot when he was young but stopped once he had kids. Shortly after realizing how little I saw my dad, I started getting phone calls and texts from family members, saying they had smelled alcohol on his breath. When I heard this, I was crushed. I didn’t believe them; I was so mad at them for telling me that. I thought to myself how my dad could choose alcohol over his daughters. I think somehow over the next years of high school I just pretended he doesn’t exist.

I did this because as a young teen, I should not have had to constantly worry about my dad. After a couple of years knowing about his drinking, my sisters and I found out he got a DUI. I hated him; I was shocked and didn’t understand why he would go down this road and do this to himself. We finally had to confront him about his drinking. Me and my sisters told him we wouldn’t be seeing him if he continued going down the wrong path. He has been sober ever since then. His actions are inexcusable but I believe they were the repercussions of divorce.

This shows just how serious divorce is and what problems it causes in people’s lives. Today, I still go through phases where I think about what life would be like if they never got separated. I constantly compare my family to others with married parents. Dealing with divorce hasn’t been easy to deal with, but it’s normal for me now, something you get used to. Which sounds crazy, but it is the way I have to think to be happy. Divorce has been challenging for me and I don’t think it will ever get easier. To be able to move on my life, I just have to think more positively about the situation .

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Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members Cause and Effect Essay

Introduction, impacts of divorce, how divorced spouses cope with the divorce.

Divorce has become a common aspect of our society. Current divorce statistics have been estimated to be 50% in America. This portrays a society where people are moving from a situation where family institutions were used as refugees and comfort zones to a one where they are viewed as a place of doom and suffering.

We cannot deny that divorce has devastating and far reaching effects than we are ready to admit. This paper looks into the impacts of divorce to the various members of the broken marriage, and how they try to live through it.

The effects of divorce are experienced by each and every member of the family regardless of who was at fault.

“The effects of divorce can change virtually every aspect of a person’s life including where a person lives, with whom they live with, their standard of living, their emotional happiness, their assets and liabilities, time spent with children and other family…” (eJustice 2002),

Effects of divorce to couples themselves

Even though the couple is the author of the outcome of the marriage, it does not affect them any less. The effects are on all aspects of life i.e., socially, financially, and psychologically.

Socially, individuals relations with the outside is influenced by the persons failed marriage. “Divorced individuals generally experience more social isolation and have smaller social networks than do married individuals” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

This may result from self pity and feelings of inadequacy that may be developed by the individual in question. Further, there are societies where divorced people are viewed as failures and are allocated a lower social standing as compared to married people. In such traditional societies, divorced people and especially women are not allowed to remarry. So they may end up spending their lives in solitude and unhappy.

Moreover, even where it is completely allowed to remarry, “remarriages are less stable than first marriages…Therefore; divorce appears to influence future marital relationships, making them less stable and more vulnerable to dissolution” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

Economically, a person’s normal life is disrupted and normally one of the couple may have to establish a home elsewhere, which requires funds. Further, divorce legal proceedings can be quite expensive, to hire lawyers and paying witnesses not to mention countless hours spent in courtrooms. In addition, the property accumulated during the subsistence of the marriage is ordinarily split up between the couple and these lowers the standards of living from both ends.

Sometimes, a couple may be unable to obtain judicial help in determining property ownership leaving weaker party, especially women, under the mercy of the other couple. This normally causes unfairness where the party refuses to divide the property in his possession fairy, not to mention hiding some of the property, leaving the other party financially starved.

Researchers have reached a conclusion that there is a disparity between the economic situation of women and that of men after divorce, with women generally being on the lower edge while men experiencing an economic upsurge (Braver and O’Connell 1998).

Psychologically, research has revealed that divorced people portray higher rates of anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and psychological instability, with those having more than one divorce experiences exhibiting more of these tendencies as compared to those with one.

Researchers has it that those who stay married, even though they were unhappy before, are likely to be happier five years later in the marriage as opposed to those who opted for divorce (Waite & Gallagher 2000, P. 148).

The psychological impact causes health implications to the couple. It has been shown that both spouses will greatly suffer a decline in mental health but this may affect women more than men. Further, a couple diagnosed with a terminal illness is more likely to recover within the marriage as compared to a divorced individual (Goodwin et al 1987, P. 3125-3130).

This shows that there are deeper issues associated with divorce besides the financial hurdles and social effects.

Impacts to Children

Divorce has profound implications on the children of the marriage. This is regardless of whether they are adult children or otherwise. Study has shown that divorce has serious implications on development of children and affects their future relationships. These effects may be discussed in terms of what the child has to lose resulting from the divorce. These may include such things as economic loss, lack of parental care and other social disruptions.

Economically, since children are moving from an institution where there are two breadwinners to, in most cases, one-breadwinner family it is normal that the financial status will have to be adjusted to suite the new family setting. This will mean cutting costs to incorporate all the needs of the family to the now constrained family budget.

In extreme cases, where the single parent is unemployed and without a stable source of income, the children may be forced to survive without basic necessities. It has been established that, “[children] in single-parent families have less than one-third the median per capita income of kids from two-parent families, and half of them fall below the poverty line in any given year, compared with 10% of their counterparts in intact families” (Magnet 1992, p 43)

Parental factor has various aspects to it. First of all, divorced parents will no longer live together. The children who were used to being with both parents will have to live with one of them. Adjusting to these new casual relationships between parents may pose problems to most children.

Mostly the children grow up without having the fatherly input in their lives. For children below 5 years, “sleep disturbances and an exacerbated fear of separation from the custodial parent are common. There is usually a great deal of yearning for the non-custodial parent” (Eleoff 2003).

It was concluded that youth of around 20 years still carry around with them painful memories ten years after their parents’ divorce. Billings and Emery (2000) among the things that still weigh down on them is the loss of the relationship with their fathers.

Further, the parent bestowed with the custody of the children may not be very effective on his/her own on the over burdened parental obligation. It could be the ordinary imperfections of a parent or it could have arisen from the after-effects of the divorce process. As argued out before, the psychological stability of the parent may be in question, and this is transmitted to the children, albeit unknowingly.

“In the wake of a divorce, most custodial mothers exhibit varying degrees of disorganization, anger, decreased expectations for appropriate social behavior of their children, and a reduction of the ability of parents to separate the child’s needs and actions from those of the adult” (Eleoff 2003).

The other issue on parents is the fact that, after divorce, parents will remarry and the children will have a different set of parents, step parents. Obviously, the step family will not function as naturally as a normal family does.

More often than not, there will be conflicts of loyalties between step parent and biological parent for the child. “Evidence suggests that each change in parenting arrangements represents a risk factor, thus increasing the likelihood that a child will react negatively to their post-divorce environment”(Demo & Supple 2011).

Social disruptions involve such things as moving houses, changing schools and having adapting new and very different surrounding for the child. Sometimes, it means that the new surroundings are worse off than the one the child is used to. This may be due to financial strains on the single parent.

Study has shown that, constant moving for children of single parent families, increased school drop-outs and chances of unplanned pregnancies. (Crowder and Teachman 2004)

When these children move from their original home and schools, they lose their friends and are forced to start all over again in life, a situation that most children have a problem adjusting to.

Overall, children experience such internal and emotional conflicts as low self-esteem, unfamiliarity to the new surroundings and set of parents, feelings of rejection especially from the parent who is not living with them and feelings of hopelessness and insecurity.

Despite the devastating impacts of a divorce, all the members have to find a way of surviving the divorce. Some of the factors that help family members cope may be economical, social or personal factors.

Personal factors have to do with the personal attributes that are specific to an individual. They include such matters as age, level of education, financial security and psychological stability. Research shows that older people are less likely to cope with a divorce as compared to younger people owing to their impaired chances of remarriage and due the comfort they have established in the marriage all those years.

Also, a person who is financially stable will be more likely to adjust to new family set-up as opposed to people who are unemployed. This is made stronger by the now widely adopted principle of property settlement between spouses, which requires a 50-50 property division. This ensures that both spouses’ living standards are least affected by the divorce.

Also, parties will seek to establish new social networks for support. Some spouses will start new romantic relationships or even remarry so as to forget their former spouses as well as help in the hardships of day to day living.

Divorce is a horrible ordeal to go through. The post-divorce experiences are beyond devastation, both to the members of the family involved and to the society at large. Parties should try to resolve their disputes before rushing for divorce and it should only be a last resort.

Many studies have been done on the level divorce with statistics showing that they are currently very high. However, there hasn’t been conclusive research on what are the causes of this rapidly increasing pandemic or even on how it could be stopped.

Therefore, future studies should concentrate more on how we can combine efforts to reduce the occurrence of more divorces. It is a duty and responsibility of each and every member of the society to uphold and protect the sanctity of the institution of the marriage.

Braver, S. L and O’Connell, D. (1998) Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. New York: Putnam.

Billings, L & Emery, R. E. (2000). Distress among young adults in divorced families: Journal of Family Psychology , 14, 671-687.

Crowder, K & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behavior? Journal of Marriage and Family , 66, 721-738.

Demo,H.D& Supple,A.J. (2011). Divorce – Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects On Children : Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Eleoff, S. (2003). An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescent: The Pennsylvania, State University College of Medicine eJustice.

Goodwin, S et al. (1987). The Effect of Marital Status on Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients; Journal of the American Medical Association 258: 3125-3130.

Henley, K & Pasley, K. (2011). Divorce- Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects on couples. Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Magnet, M. (1992). The American Family : Fortune 10 Aug: 42-47.

Waite, L & Gallagher, M. ( 2000). The Case for Marriage. New York: Doubleday p.148.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — The Effect Of Growing Up With Divorced Parents On Children

The Effect of Growing Up with Divorced Parents on Children

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Published: Dec 16, 2021

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How It All Changed. My Divorced Parents Essay Example

Do you have divorced parents? My parents got divorced right around when I was only ten years old. I did not really understand what was happening at the time. It changed my life in many different ways, good and bad. Ever since my parents got divorced my life has been a rollercoaster of mixed emotions.

I am going to start from the beginning, six years ago is when it all started. My parents never really would fight in front of my siblings and I. Right before my parents got divorced my mom’s dad had passed away. Everyone in the family was already sad and upset. Everything went by so fast, I do not even remember them telling me. I just remember we started packing everything and every once in a while someone would start crying while packing.

My mom bought a house like two miles down from my dad’s house. Every time I would forget something I would just ride my four wheeler over there. After we moved it was hard to get used to not having certain people around all the time. I was on a strict schedule at whose house I had to go to on certain days. It honestly was hard for me being a little kid, I would get attached to one parent so easily. I eventually got used to the schedule as I got older. 

As I got older a lot of things became much easier for my siblings and I. One of the hardest things that I hated the most was when my parents would meet new people. I hated having people in my house that would try to act like they were my parents, I did not like the thought of one of my real parents being replaced. Once I got older I understood and I started getting along with who my parents would date and the kids that they had. I would treat them like my own siblings. 

Some of the more positive things about having divorced parents is that I get two holidays for every holiday. I also always have a different way at looking at certain things, like to not take the idea of marriage for granted. I am also so happy and thankful that my parents are happy again, even though my life will never be the same since the divorce. I am also not so sure if my life changed for better or for worse but, I am glad that everyone is confident and happy again.

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Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

Our specialists will write a custom essay specially for you!

When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

• persuasive essay about divorce,
• for and against essay,
• causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

• 💍 How to Write It
• 📂 Essays by Type
• ✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

• introduction;
• conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

Just in 1 hour! We will write you a plagiarism-free paper in hardly more than 1 hour

Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

• You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
• Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
• Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

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• Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
• Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

• Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
• Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
• Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Get an originally-written paper according to your instructions!

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

• Base your points on logic;
• Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
• Take into consideration counterclaims;
• Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
• Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

• Based on emotions;
• Presents only one side of the argument;
• Ignores counterclaims;
• The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

• Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

• Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

• The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
• My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
• How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
• The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

• Negative outcomes of divorce on children .  
• Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.  
• Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption. 
• Effect of divorce on teenagers ’ academic performance.  
• Causes and consequences of divorce . 
• What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America ?  
• Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ? 
• The most widespread reasons for divorce .  
• Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.  
• Impact of divorce on child’s mental health .  
• Change of divorce law throughout history.  
• Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.  
• Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?  
• Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?  
• Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.  
• Effect of divorce on family relationship .  
• Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles ?  
• List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates .  
• The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families . 
• Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates . 
• Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?  
• Effect of poverty on divorce rates.  
• Specifics of divorce in the UAE . 
• Does divorce lead to depression ?  
• Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.  
• The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.  
• Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.  
• How to manage the stress of divorce.   
• Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.  
• How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce .  
• Addiction as the reason for divorce.  
• Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.  
• Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship .  
• Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.  
• Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce.
• How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?  
• Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?  
• Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce. 
• Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?  
• Poverty among divorced women.  
• Young marriage has more chances to break-up.  
• Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.  
• Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce? 
• Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?  
• Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.  
• Reduction of the number of divorces . 
• Personal development after divorce.  
• How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children. 
•   Child support in case of marriage divorce.  
• Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?  

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

Thanks for reading the article! Share it with friends who may need our tips or assistance.

Further reading:

• Top Ideas for Argumentative or Persuasive Essay Topics
• Best Argumentative Research Paper Topics
• 197 Inspirational & Motivational Argumentative Essay Topics
• Gun Control Essay: How-to Guide + Argumentative Topics
• Proposal Essay Topics and Ideas – Easy and Interesting
• Free Exemplification Essay Examples

🔗 References

• Essay Introductions
• Transitional Words and Phrases
• Argumentative Paper Format
• The Writing Process
• Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
• Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
• Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
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Relationships Articles & More

When is divorce good for women, recent research and memoirs have a message: ending bad marriages can dramatically improve women’s mental and even physical health..

Divorce is having a moment—for women.

For example: Actor Drew Barrymore, who recently divorced for the third time, shared on her talk show that divorce is liberating.

I had so much shame around divorce and, for some reason, something happened, and I said, “I’m no longer willing to feel this way.” And it just lifted from me. When you find yourself in a situation that isn’t working out the way you hope and want, you accept it and improve the quality of life by moving forward. And for me, divorce is no longer a reason for shame. I am totally free.

For her part, model Gisele Bündchen says it takes “courage to leave an unhealthy relationship” and sees her divorce from football star Tom Brady as a new opportunity for her —“when a door shuts, other doors open.” Model Emily Ratajkowski marked her recent divorce from Sebastian Bear-McClard by turning her engagement ring into a divorce ring and praising how transformational a divorce can be , especially for women.

Women, who are overwhelmingly the ones to initiate divorces , actually are feeling better about it. In fact, they are celebrating it. A few years ago, those celebrations looked like divorce parties, divorce cakes, divorce registries, and divorce selfies.

More recently, Gen X women have turned to writing memoirs that put their marriages, as well as the institution of marriage, under the microscope and magnify just how toxic heterosexual marriage can be. These memoirs, from Australian author Clementine Ford ( I Don’t ), and American authors Leslie Jamison ( Splinters ) and Lyz Lenz ( This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life ), not only skewer heterosexual marriage but also praise breaking free.

As someone who has been divorced twice—once after a short-lived marriage when I was in my early 20s, and once at midlife with two tween children—and who has written extensively about marriage and divorce, I know a thing or two about both.

I don’t regret either of my divorces. As weird as it may sound, divorce was the best thing that happened to me (besides having my children). In fact, I would never have become an author if I had not left my last marriage, which lasted 14 years.

Divorce is much more commonplace and accepted nowadays—a recent Pew Research Center survey reveals that 55% of Americans believe unhappy spouses tend to stay in bad marriages longer than they should. But should we be celebrating divorce, especially if young children are involved?

The answer can be yes. There is a positive, research-based case for divorce—if the split happens under the right conditions.

What can be good about divorce?

Paul R. Amato is a sociologist at Penn State University whose research focuses on marital quality, divorce, and family issues. In his 2000 review of research on the consequences of divorce for adults and children, he notes that numerous studies have found that many people flourished after divorce. They experienced higher levels of autonomy and personal growth once untethered from their marriage. Many women had a boost in self-confidence and a better sense of control. Divorced moms tended to see improvements in their career opportunities and their social life, as well as an increase in happiness.

While most studies of the past tended to focus on the negative consequences of divorce, he writes, “If more studies explicitly searched for positive outcomes, then the number of studies documenting beneficial effects of divorce would almost certainly be larger.”

Some more recent studies have done that.

“There is a societal assumption that divorce is always negative,” says Connie R. Wanberg, a professor at the University of Minnesota who recently co-authored a study on how divorce impacts people in the workplace . Still, even Wanberg was surprised how many said they were better at their jobs after their split . “Some of these individuals had been in very dysfunctional relationships,” she says.

Like the recent divorce memoirs reveal, women tend to thrive post-divorce, not necessarily financially (in fact, many women suffer unnecessary financial hardship in a divorce ), but emotionally and physically.

Women are “significantly more content than usual for up to five years following the end of their marriages, even more so than their own average or baseline level of happiness throughout their lives,” according to a 2013 study from London’s Kingston University .

One reason women feel happier than men after a divorce, despite the financial repercussions, could be that “women who enter into an unhappy marriage feel much more liberated after divorce than their male counterparts,” according to Yannis Georgellis, director of the university’s Centre for Research in Employment, Skills and Society, who co-led the study.

Women are more likely than men to get mental health support while divorcing, more likely to depend on supportive relationships, less likely to rely on drugs or alcohol post-divorce, and more likely to turn to experiences that enrich them, such as travel, researchers observe.

San Francisco Bay Area therapist and author Susan Pease Gadoua has been offering groups for women in transition since 2000, mostly to divorcees and soon-to-be divorcees. For many years, a consistent theme she heard was how ashamed they felt as well as experiencing a sense of failure.

If “until death do us part” is how society measures a successful marriage, a union that ends in divorce, instead of death, is seen as a “failed marriage,” even if the marriage was loveless, sexless, lonely, and full of anger and perhaps contempt.

While some gray divorcees—boomers in their 60s and older, a cohort that is divorcing faster than any other age group —Gadoua counsels still feel those pressures, most of her younger clients do not.

“There’s definitely less stigma and it’s not uncommon to hear from women who come to see me that they’re on their second divorce, even third. That’s quite prevalent. Those numbers don’t seem to matter anymore,” she tells me.

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Boomers grew up in an era when there was little to no help for parents going through a divorce, or their children. And the influential books penned by therapist Judith Wallerstein—1989’s Second Chances and 2000’s The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce —convinced millions that divorce was more harmful than previously thought and with lifelong consequences for young children caught in the crossfire. Her methodology and research, however, have since come under scrutiny and been criticized .

“The idea that divorce is bad, and kids are going to be damaged, those are really outdated beliefs. We have the choice to have a different kind of divorce today, for people to think, ‘Oh, I have the power to make this a good divorce,’” Gadoua says. “It can bring out the worst in people, but it doesn’t have to.”

Coming back to life

Still, mothers who leave their marriages while their children are still young, as Barrymore, Bündchen, Ratajkowski, and all the memoirists did, are often judged harshly.

“Mothers in almost every culture are programmed to bury their needs in the greater needs of family. Acting on their own desires, following their hearts, searching out their own private happiness—all of this is still perceived as transgressive and profoundly selfish,” British author Lily Dunn writes of her decision to leave her husband for another man while her two children were young.

As famed therapist Esther Perel writes in her book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity , “Home, marriage, and motherhood have forever been the pursuit of many women, but also the place where women cease to feel like women.”

Which is why divorce often kickstarts a woman’s libido.

“For women who appear to have ‘low desire’ in long-term marriages, many times when they get divorced they’re sleeping around with everyone,” sexologist Tammy Nelson and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity , tells me. “People confuse the loss of sexual interest with the loss of sexual interest with a specific person.”

And for some heterosexual women, a divorce leads them into the arms of another woman for the first time, as described by authors Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle in their bestselling memoirs. In fact, some 36% of women in their 40s in a same-sex relationship had been previously married to men. It’s higher for women in their 50s and older.

“[M]any women report feeling a ‘second adolescence,’ with many of the associated feelings and behaviors. She is not crazy if she suddenly has sex on the brain all the time!” writes Nancy C. Larson in her 2006 study “ Becoming ‘One of the Girls’: The Transition to Lesbian in Midlife .” Larson herself came out as lesbian after 19 years of marriage to a man.

No one would promote divorce as a path to sexual pleasure. Still, a 2018 study of middle-aged hetero, bisexual, and trans divorcees found that while some of the women had regrets about the end of their marriages, divorce got them out of their comfort zone and opened them up sexually.

“Women sometimes have to break rules to find sexual pleasure for themselves in a society which is not consistently supportive of female sexual pleasure,” the researchers wrote. “It also takes seriously women’s right to seek pleasure and to overcome barriers to pleasure even if those barriers are socially sanctioned.”

Mothers and children

Of course, divorced moms aren’t just focused on their sexuality. They focus on their children, too.

According to a 2019 U.S. Census Bureau report that culls numerous studies in the States and overseas, divorce laws can hugely benefit divorced moms, who often invest more in their children’s schooling. They also have more time to spend on leisure as well as work, and spend less time on chores.

That’s what Lyz Lenz discovered, in part because she had 50-50 shared custody with her former husband, as an increasing number of divorced parents in the United States do, according to a 2022 paper, “ Increases in shared custody after divorce in the United States .” As Lenz writes in an essay for Glamour magazine :

I had more time to write and more time to work. I started making more money. I was able to do things I’d never been able to do before: a set at open-mic night at a local comedy club; drive to Minneapolis to see my friends. I had less housework, and I didn’t have to worry about having a fight if I made vegetarian food for dinner, or just didn’t cook dinner at all, or if I swore, or if I wanted to stay out late at a book reading (yes, all real fights we had). I had more friends because I could be a better friend.

In a 2020 study, “ Families in Later Life: A Decade in Review ,” sociologist Deborah Carr found that although divorce has long been described as among the most stressful of life transitions, more recent studies indicate that many older adults adapt and even thrive post-divorce, from finding new romantic partnerships, to spending more time volunteering, to strengthening ties with their adult children.

Typically, it’s the mothers who have more contact with their adult children after divorce. For dads, later-in-life divorce cuts the odds of frequent contact by nearly half, at least for a while, especially with their sons, mostly because adult children often blame their fathers for the divorce. And while a father’s re-partnering often contributes to those fractures—they’re seen as “swapping families”—a mother’s re-partnering “has no appreciable effects on their relationships with their adult children,” according to a 2022 study .

As Carr shares with AARP , despite some emotional bumps right after a split, most older adults eventually “fare quite well”​ after a few months. “Whether you’re depressed or not depends upon what the relationship was like and the context in which it ended. If it was a conflictual marriage and not emotionally satisfying, there are fewer symptoms of depression and loneliness.”​

Lenz believes divorce is a cause for celebration. She celebrated hers by burning her wedding dress—“a reminder of all my failed dreams”—that had been hanging in her closet for the 12 years of her marriage.

“In response to news of divorce, people often reply, ‘I’m sorry.’ But I think we should say ‘congratulations.’ Congratulations for prioritizing yourself. For being brave. For the self-knowledge to know when to leave,” she writes in the Washington Post .

Gadoua thinks rather than celebrate divorce—although individuals are certainly free to do so—what’s really needed is a way for former spouses to honor the exit from their marriage.

“It’s a personal choice to celebrate,” she says. “I do think that we lack in our culture a rite of passage out of marriage. The women who come to my retreat are so grateful to have a sense of closure and some kind of ceremony around honoring what they had but looking forward to what is in front of them.”

About the Author

Vicki Larson

Vicki Larson is a longtime award-winning journalist, author of Not Too Old for That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging (Rowman & Littlefield, April 2022), coauthor of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists, and Rebels (Seal Press, 2014), named a Best Book of 2014 by PopSugar , and author of the upcoming book, LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work .

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How to Show Up for a Friend Getting Divorced

The end of a marriage can be incredibly isolating. But small gestures from loved ones can provide some relief.

By Jancee Dunn

When my sister Dinah’s marriage ended after 25 years, one of her friends set up twice weekly “vent walks,” where my sister could say anything she wanted about her divorce — with no fear she was being a burden.

“After a while, you feel self-conscious talking about it,” Dinah told me, “like people want you to move on.”

About a third of American adults who marry end up getting a divorce . But for such a common experience, divorce can feel incredibly isolating, said Jeffrey Gardere, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan.

“It completely changes your life direction,” said Dr. Gardere, who is divorced himself. “You feel rudderless.”

A thoughtful, specific gesture like a “vent walk” can be a gift, he said. So I asked experts for other ideas to help a loved one who is going through a divorce.

Make plans during the toughest part of your friend’s week.

For those who are newly divorced, some parts of the week can be especially painful, said Claudia Glaser-Mussen, a psychotherapist in New York City.

Ask your friend if there are specific days or times that feel harder than others, Glaser-Mussen said. Maybe it’s Friday night at cocktail hour, when your friend used to have drinks with their spouse. Then plan activities for those rough patches, she said.

Rachel Sussman, a psychotherapist and the author of “The Breakup Bible,” said that her divorced clients are often nostalgic for small domestic routines they used to have with their spouses. So ask your friend what they miss that you can do together, whether it’s gardening or grocery shopping, she said.

Invite your friend — to everything.

Keep including your friend in your plans, Dr. Sussman said. Don’t assume they will feel like a third wheel if you have a partner. “Bring them with you to movies, dinners, plays — anything,” she said.

Or you can ask your friend to come to a family dinner, Dr. Sussman suggested. “Just offer, and keep offering,” she said. “You’re creating community and structure for them.”

In the throes of her divorce, Dinah asked me to invite her to everything because it shook up her schedule and encouraged her to spend time outside of her too-quiet house. So I barraged her with offers, including a blood drive (“will there be cookies?” she asked) and a cat-adoption fair (“will there be kittens?”).

Don’t trash your friend’s ex.

It can be tempting to tear down your friend’s ex, Dr. Gardere said, but not only does that prevent them from moving forward and healing, but “it can make them feel even more terrible about the person they chose.”

So try to keep it positive, Dr. Gardere said. “Your friend doesn’t need to hear how bad that person was for them,” he added. “They need warmth and a hug and a good meal.”

Offer to help announce the split.

Clients who are splitting up “often feel embarrassed and feel like they failed,” Dr. Sussman said. My sister said she had felt that way, too, “though we had a good run.” So when it came time to tell people about her divorce, a friend helped her share the news in a private Facebook group.

This spared her the responsibility of having to tell everyone individually and answered some basic questions upfront. So ask your friend if they need help getting the word out, Dr. Gardere said, and what they’d like to be conveyed.

Help your friend “rediscover” themself.

Lydia Emery, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Chicago who studies relationships and identity, recommended asking your friend: “Were there any aspects of yourself that you couldn’t express in your relationship?”

Maybe your friend loved to try new foods, but their spouse was a picky eater, Dr. Emery said. Encourage your friend to rediscover some earlier interests, she said; you can even offer to scout out new restaurants together.

My sister always loved seeing live music before her marriage. Friends encouraged her to do it again, and she recently attended a music festival for the first time in decades.

“I was probably the oldest person there,” she told me. “And I had a blast.”

Virginia Sole-Smith wants people to be ‘less afraid of being fat.’

Virginia Sole-Smith, the author of “Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture,” has become one of the country’s most visible fat activists — inspiring her followers and infuriating her detractors. Lisa Miller visited Sole-Smith at her home for an in-depth interview.

Read the article: Let Them Eat … Everything

Can you get hooked on nasal spray?

Once you start using certain nasal sprays, it can be challenging to stop. Experts explain how “rebound congestion” occurs, what sprays can lead to dependence, and how to break the habit.

Read the article: Is Nasal Spray Addictive?

The Week in Well

Here are some stories you don’t want to miss:

More younger adults are developing A-fib , a common heart condition, Dani Blum reports.

Taking multiple medications can lead to serious complications , Knvul Sheikh writes.

You should add sprints to your workout . Michael Venutolo-Mantovani explores the benefits.

What’s the best way to treat I.B.S.? Alice Callahan investigates .

Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram , or write to us at [email protected] . And check out last week’s newsletter about five facts gut experts want you to know .

Jancee Dunn , who writes the weekly Well newsletter for The Times, has covered health and science for more than 20 years. More about Jancee Dunn

When a Marriage Comes to an End

Divorce is often hard. but there are still ways to ease the transition and learn to embrace your changing reality..

The end of a relationship can be an opportunity to  reclaim control over your life.

From grand gestures to small acts of kindness , experts say that there are many ways  to help those slammed by the shock and pain of a separation.

Can a divorce be affordable? There are ways to reduce the expense of ending a marriage , but they require both parties to want to end the relationship civilly.

When parents go their separate ways, children can have a tough time adjusting. These tips can help them with the transition .

Women who have gone through a divorce often see their savings and retirement depleted. Building back means careful planning .

Sharing a home after a split? Some divorced couples living together  for the good of their kids and finances  are finding it to be the way to a true partnership .

I got remarried, and I'm raising 3 boys in a blended family. Kid-free travel helps us bond as a couple.

• Sara Lyle and her husband both  went through divorces and now have  shared custody of three sons with their exes.
• They let off parental stress by getting away without the kids — a tactic recommended by experts as well.
• Kid-free travel allows them to reconnect as a couple and counteract the demands of blending a family.

Last Christmas, my youngest son got me a "Wonder Mom" coffee mug from his school's holiday fair. It's red and blue with yellow stars and makes me smile whenever I see it in the cupboard. While I appreciate the sweet gesture, the gift didn't come with any superpowers. If it did, they would come in handy on school days. Allow me to explain.

My husband and I are raising a blended family with three boys — 8, 13, and 15 — who each go to a different school with slightly different start times. We have one car, so ensuring they arrive before the last bell rings requires Swiss time-keeping precision.

To beat the clock, I get up at 6:30 a.m. and head downstairs to cook breakfast for the five of us while my husband takes care of waking up the kids. Most mornings, I make a few variations of breakfast because we have a mix of picky eaters and food allergies to accommodate, and I want to make sure they have something healthy-ish in their stomachs before leaving. There are medications and vitamins to remember, school IDs and water bottles to pack, and the dog needs to be fed, too.

Once the boys are off, my husband leaves for work, and I get started on my to-dos from the home office. After school, there are pickups, extracurricular activities, dinner, and bedtimes to juggle. My husband and I finally take off for the night around 9:30 p.m., assuming there isn't any last-minute laundry to do.

Parental burnout is on the rise

We aren't the only ones with a schedule like this — to say nothing of dealing with work, financial and other pressures — which is why it makes sense that parental burnout is so high .

A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that parents of children under 18 reported a significant increase in stress levels compared to pre-pandemic times. To be exact, 33% of parents now rate their stress between 8 and 10 on a 10-point scale, a 9% increase since 2019.

The APA also looked at the impact of parental burnout and recommended various strategies to "enhance resilience in parenting" such as going on vacations without the children or simply taking "microbreaks" throughout the day. This can be as simple as listening to a guided meditation in the car after running an errand.

While the microbreaks idea was a new one that I might try, my husband and I were already well-acquainted with the relationship-strengthening remedy of getting away sans kids. It makes me a better mom, too. Here's what I mean.

A balance of family vacations and solo getaways

Since my husband and I blended our households last year, we've been intentional about doing activities and outings with all three of the boys to create family memories and build some lifelong bonds.

So far, we've gone on some fun ones, including a long weekend in Colorado Springs for our wedding with the boys last summer. This fall, we're looking forward to a Caribbean cruise for a nephew's wedding.

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However, between orchestrating the travel logistics to refereeing flare-ups along the way, it can feel like we need a vacation from our family vacation when we get home.

Then, there are the realities of reentry: unpacking everything you packed before, washing the dirty clothes, putting away the laundry and luggage, and catching up on all the other stuff you missed while you were away. For us, multiply that by five.

Getting away as a couple ? It's a comparative breeze. Even just staying for a Friday or Saturday night in nearby Denver allows us to reconnect and recharge, making us better able to handle the ups and downs of modern-day parenting.

We weren't together, pre-kids

My husband and I were never a couple before having kids; we were with other partners. Now, because we share custody with our exes , there are times we are without all three of our sons. Missing them can be tough, but we cherish the opportunities we have to be as "cringe-y" as we want — a term used by our youngest regarding too much PDA — and have some non-parental fun.

Spring break this year was a blast, for example. We spent half the time soaking up the Florida sunshine, seeing family and friends in our shared hometown. Then, we hopped over to New Orleans to enjoy the French Quarter revelries and basically eat our way around town — minus any dietary restrictions from the kids.

Last fall was another adventure, hitting the streets of my old stomping grounds in New York City for five days. Stay up late, wake up late, rinse, and repeat. They don't call it the city that never sleeps for nothing.

Sure, there are heart-twinging moments when we think about the boys — what they might enjoy or find overwhelming about where we're visiting — but we wouldn't trade our kid-free trips for anything.

We learn about ourselves

One of my favorite things about travel, in general, is coming back a whole new person. Getting out of your comfort zone can transform the way you think or see the world. I have experienced this phenomenon in varying degrees at different times in my life, from the summer in high school when I stayed with a friend's family in France to the seven years my son and I lived in Singapore and had the chance to travel around Southeast Asia .

There are so many places my husband and I want to visit together, and we're eager to cross them off our now-shared bucket list.

Speaking of the list, we realize we probably have fewer years ahead of us than behind us, and we aren't waiting for retirement to enjoy the here and now. It's also wonderful to know I can explore the world with my favorite person at my side, holding my hand.

Traveling without our kids is not about abandoning ship, it's about refilling our cups. Child-free vacations might not be an option for everyone, but even a staycation can do wonders.

Got a personal essay about living abroad or parenting that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: [email protected] .

Watch: Why one mother fled Texas to keep her child safe

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Sophia Bush confirms relationship with Ashlyn Harris: ‘The universe had been conspiring for me’

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Sophia Bush finally feels like she can breathe after coming out as queer and opening up about her long-rumored relationship with soccer star Ashlyn Harris.

“When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there,” the “One Tree Hill” alum wrote Thursday in an essay for the April issue of Glamour .

Sophia Bush, soccer star Ashlyn Harris spark dating rumors after respective divorces

‘One Tree Hill’ alum Sophia Bush and retired USWNT goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris reportedly ‘went out on their first dinner date a couple of weeks ago.’

Oct. 18, 2023

The 41-year-old detailed how her one-year marriage to Grant Hughes felt phony and fell apart amid her grueling fertility issues. She also explained how her recovery from that relationship led her to Harris, who simultaneously had been going through her own divorce from former teammate Ali Krieger.

Bush wrote that after her storybook wedding — which she doesn’t regret — she found herself “in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process.” She kept all that private as she endured months of ultrasounds, hormone shots, blood draws that led to scar tissue in her veins and numerous egg retrievals, “while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

The “Work in Progress” and “Drama Queens” podcast host said she felt something in her “seismically shift” about six months into that journey and “knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake,” ultimately filing for divorce after about 13 months of marriage. Her separation from Hughes, an entrepreneur and real estate investor, saw Bush moving to London “to get out of our house” and doing a play to “jump-start the joy” she had been chasing. (She withdrew from “2:22 A Ghost Story” in July 2023 due to illness.)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Glamour (@glamourmag)

The “Love, Victor” and “Chicago P.D.” actor moved back to her empty home in L.A. last summer and said that an ever-expanding group of women in her life started opening up about their own issues. That group included the “kind ear” of the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper, whom she’d first met in 2019. She didn’t expect to find love there.

“I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option.”

It took other people in their “safe support bubble” to point out to Bush that she and Harris would finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things, she wrote.

Sophia Bush thinks she is one of the better Bushes

April 21, 2024

Reports about the couple’s romance surfaced in October, months after they each filed for divorce. The “One Tree Hill” alum and the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper reportedly went out on their first dinner date a couple of weeks prior, People reported at the time, and TMZ asserted that they were “officially a thing.”

In her essay, Bush shed light on that purported first date, which she described as a 4½-hour meal that was “truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far.”

“I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me,” she wrote. But navigating the judgment she felt in the public eye was disheartening.

“The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women — my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!),” she wrote, noting that she didn’t leave her marriage because of some random rendezvous but rather after a year of “doing the most soul-crushing work of my life.”

Sophia Bush files for divorce from husband Grant Hughes after 13 months of marriage

Sophia Bush has filed for divorce from husband Grant Hughes. The news comes seven weeks after Hughes and the ‘One Tree Hill’ alum celebrated their first anniversary.

Aug. 4, 2023

Bush also fawned over her partner‘s integrity and love for her children. As for her identity, the life-long LGBTQIA+ ally described feeling at home with the queer community.

“I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer,” she wrote. “I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

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Kyle Richards’ daughters on their parents’ breakup becoming reality TV: ‘We’re used to this’

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Feb. 23, 2024

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Nardine Saad covers breaking entertainment news, trending culture topics, celebrities and their kin for the Fast Break Desk at the Los Angeles Times. She joined The Times in 2010 as a MetPro trainee and has reported from homicide scenes, flooded canyons, red carpet premieres and award shows.

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