essay on why having siblings is a good thing

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How your siblings can make you happier, sibling relationships affect us more than we probably realize—and we can work on improving them at any age..

When I was young, I didn’t get along well with my older sister. Though I looked up to her and longed for her positive attention, she didn’t seem to want me around, especially when her friends came over.

That’s weird to recall, as we are currently very close—a blessing, especially now that our parents are long gone. Our relationship has evolved over my lifetime into something very different than how it began, exerting a profound influence on both of us.


Is that unusual? Though parent/child relationships have received the lion’s share of attention in psychology research, researchers are starting to discover the many ways siblings affect us, too—for good and for bad. By paying attention to the quality of our sibling relationships, we might make our own discoveries about ourselves and our families.

Why sibling relationships matter

Experts say that around 80% of Americans have at least one sibling. For many, those are the longest-lasting relationships in their lives, extending well beyond the parent/child relationship.

“Parents don’t stay with you your whole life, your romantic partners come and go (and you don’t meet them until later in life), friends come and go, but siblings are always there through the lifespan,” says researcher Susan McHale of Penn State University, who studies sibling relationships.

Because of that long connection, she adds, siblings matter a lot for our personal growth and well-being.

“Throughout the lifespan, people who have close sibling relationships have better mental health, better psychological health, and better social relationships, generally speaking.”

Research confirms that if siblings have hostile or conflicted relationships when young, it can increase their risks of suffering anxiety, depressive symptoms, and even risky or antisocial behavior later in adolescence. On the other hand, positive sibling relationships can be protective, with warm relationships tied to better social relationships during the teen years. For Laurie Kramer of Northeastern University, the reason brothers and sisters matter so much is that those relationships are practice grounds for other relationships in life.

“We learn a lot by interacting with people who we spend a lot of time with, like how to share, care for another person, be considerate of another person’s needs,” she says. “But we also learn how to manage conflict and other social-emotional skills, which we can apply to other relationships.”

Whether our siblings are warm and kind or more combative and bullying, siblings are watching each other carefully, she adds, absorbing information “like sponges” on how to navigate the world.

“They’re picking up on all of this and creating their own identities, many times in response to how they perceive their siblings—or, if they don’t want to be the same, in reaction to that,” she says.

What strains the relationship?

The effects of sibling relationships depend on many factors. For example, when parents show preferential treatment for one sibling over another, or if children feel their parents are not treating them fairly, that generally increases sibling conflict and creates problems down the road.

“When children perceive that parents are being unjust, that’s when we see all the significant correlations with poor outcomes for children, like poor sibling relationships, poor parent/child relationships, and poor appraisals of their own self-worth,” says Kramer.

On the other hand, siblings can understand differential treatment, if there’s a good explanation for it—like a sibling has special needs or an older child has later curfews. Even when favoritism is toxic, says McHale, siblings can heal their relationship by acknowledging that it’s happening and how unfair it is.

“They can be protective of one another, provided that they both understand what’s going on, it’s recognized, and the favored child can be supportive of the less favored child to help make up for parents’ behavior,” she says.

Marital conflict in a family, too, can create less warmth and more conflict between siblings. That may have played a role in my relationship with my own sister, as my father’s alcoholism was a source of tension in my parents’ relationship.

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McHale says that gender can play a role; generally, sister/sister pairs or sister/brother pairs tend to be closer. That may be because girls and women are socialized to be more emotionally expressive, which is tied to less conflict. In adolescence, having a sibling of the opposite sex can be an advantage, if you’re heterosexual.

“We’ve found that kids with other-sex siblings are more romantically competent,” says McHale. “Unfortunately, we don’t have enough transgender or non-binary kids in our studies to be able to know how these things work in a broader gender context.”

Though gender and age differences affect sibling relationships, Kramer says that the factor most predictive of positive sibling relationships is if an older sibling learns how to play well with other children before their sibling is born.

“It really does come down to a set of social and emotional competencies,” she says. “Even young kids can learn a lot of these skills and apply them in their relationship with their siblings later on.”

How sibling relationships can shift as we age

It was hard for me to have conflicts with my sister when we were young. But, fortunately, our relationship improved once we both moved out of our parent’s house and had independent lives—a common occurrence, according to research. As conflicted siblings enter young adulthood, their relationships often become less intense but warmer than when they were younger.

As adults age even more, sibling relationships tend to become even less fraught , with midlife and older adults rating their sibling relationships as warmer, less conflicted, and less marred by parental favoritism than younger adults. Later in life, sister-sister siblings seem to have the closest relationships, spend the most time together, and support each other the most when compared to other sibling pairs.

But do these relationships matter much in later life? McHale suggests they do.

“Given your shared history, siblings understand you like no one else really can,” she says. “Family routines, family rituals, memories of your family, the ways things work in your family, the little jokes and private understandings—you just don’t have that with other people, not even a long-term spouse.”


Still, conflicts can arise between siblings in adulthood, says Kramer, especially as life gets complicated by work obligations, raising families, parent caregiving, or a parent’s death. If old familial wounds (like perceived favoritism) get revisited, it can lead to poorer relationships and increased depression.

Though research on siblings is expanding, much of it is correlational—meaning, it’s unclear whether poor sibling relationships are the cause of less well-being or vice versa. It’s possible, for example, that being depressed sours your sibling relationships rather than the reverse.

Yet warmer sibling relationships in older adults do seem to help stave off loneliness and depression, and siblings often help each other out when times are tough. This suggests they remain important and are worth nurturing.

How to improve sibling relationships at any age

It’s probably best to encourage warm sibling relationships from the get-go. But some parents may resist, thinking it’s normal for siblings to have conflicts and they will just work it out on their own. McHale disagrees with that approach.

“You hear that a lot—that it’s natural for siblings to fight. But it’s not natural,” she says. “In certain cultures, siblings have prescribed roles, where the elder brother or eldest sister is the caregiver, and fighting is not common, expected, or tolerated,” she says.

Kramer also thinks this attitude is a mistake and sets up siblings for failed relationships. 
“We don’t expect everything to be positive for sure, but neither should parents expect siblings to fight a lot,” she says. “That’s not really preparing kids to start a relationship with someone who’s going to be really important in their life.”

She and Kramer both believe that helping siblings to understand and manage their emotions, learn perspective taking, and find better ways to play together are key for developing positive sibling relationships. To that end, Kramer has developed an online program called More Fun with Sisters and Brothers , which helps parents coach their four- to eight-year-old children how to get along and get through conflicts without hurt feelings.

McHale also has a program for kids and their parents, Siblings Are Special , which does much the same thing. In randomized trials , including one with Latino families , she and her colleagues showed that the program led to significant improvement in relationships—as well as decreasing parental depression.

This is great news for parents. But what about adult siblings who find themselves at odds? It can be tough if there are unresolved conflicts from childhood, says Kramer, though acknowledging that can go a long way toward healing. Adult siblings will also need to practice many of the same skills that younger kids need to get along.

“Understanding why you’re upset, expressing emotion, understanding another person’s perspective, trying to come up with a compromise or a way to solve problems—these are just core social skills,” says McHale. “They are useful in fostering better relationships at any point in life.”

Are those efforts worth it? Kramer says yes. “I truly believe that we can work to improve relationships like these at any point because of siblings’ underlying connection. Siblings may not spend a lot of time together or may have disagreements. They don’t have to be best friends forever. But it’s good for them to like each other enough to help out in a pinch.”

About the Author

Jill Suttie

Jill Suttie, Psy.D. , is Greater Good ’s former book review editor and now serves as a staff writer and contributing editor for the magazine. She received her doctorate of psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1998 and was a psychologist in private practice before coming to Greater Good .

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The benefits of having siblings

Siblings who stay connected as they grow older not only support each other emotionally, studies show, they also help improve each other’s physical and mental health.

The benefits of having brothers and sisters are evident even at an early age, according to recent research from Brigham Young University. Ten- to 14-year-olds with a sister are less likely to feel lonely, self-conscious and fearful, the BYU study shows.

It doesn’t matter if the sister is older or younger, according to a story in Science Daily, which provided some details about the study.

The research was conducted by professor Laura Padilla-Walker, who teaches in the university’s School of Family Life. The study is part of BYU’s Flourishing Families Project, which examines the importance of families to individuals and assesses how families deal with the daily and extraordinary stresses of life.

According to Padilla-Walker, having “a loving sibling” – brother or sister – also encouraged children to help others and take better care of themselves.

“In fact, loving siblings fostered charitable attitudes more than loving parents did,” wrote Science Daily. “The relationship between sibling affection and good deeds was twice as strong as that between parenting and good deeds.”

Even though most siblings have a tendency to argue and fight, lessons are actually learned from all that squabbling.

Another study from Ohio State University, which examined the behaviors of more than 20,000 children nationwide, found that kids who grew up with one or more siblings get along better with their peers in kindergarten.

They’re also better at getting along with people who are different and showing sensitivity to others’ feelings as a result of learning how to resolve conflict at home.

What are other benefits of having brothers and sisters? How about the benefits of having or being an only child?

– Posted by Virginia de Leon

Join the conversation at www.spokesman.com/blogs/parents .

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Navigating Sibling Relationships

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Sibling relationships are important. While friendships come and go, you’re stuck with your siblings. This relationship is oftentimes one of the longest relationships in a person’s life . You can rarely get away with being fake or phony when with siblings. You grow up in the same environment, share the same parents, and share common memories and similar experiences. You are who you are because of this shared history, which makes the relationship unique and invaluable.

On This Page

• The Effect of Siblings on Development
• The Truth About Birth Order
• Sibling Rivalry Is Normal
• The Favorite Child

The presence of siblings in the home affects a child's development, and it does not have to do with birth order. Having a sibling, for example, affects a child’s social skills, and a child with a sister or brother can often be more agreeable and sympathetic. Some research indicates that having a sibling in adulthood helps alleviate depression and anxiety. People are altogether happier when they have positive sibling relationships.

When a new baby arrives, don’t be shocked if a child regresses in behavior. This can include infantile conduct such as whining, kicking, screaming, hitting, even bedwetting. Jealousy is normal. Who wouldn’t feel that way? All your attention has landed on the new baby. Psychologists advise that you involve your older child as much as possible; let them help care for the baby. Of course, the help that they provide depends on their age and ability.

It is important to set aside time with the older child or children; every child needs such one-on-one time . Encourage older children to talk about their feelings and conflicts and assure them that they can have these feelings and still be a wonderful older sibling. If they express negative feelings, acknowledge that. Never deny or discount your child’s feelings.

Sibling relationships work best when each member appreciates the similarities between them, and they also respectfully note their differences. If they do experience discord, it is eventually resolved, as opposed to a wound that is maintained as part of the family narrative. Having a shared history gives siblings a connection that helps them navigate life, and it’s a bonus when they enjoy each other’s company. 

Many theories have been proposed about the influence of siblings, and stereotypes are aplenty. The firstborn child is supposedly more conscientious and successful; the middle child is presumably excluded and embittered; the youngest is expected to be more social and persuasive. However, these characteristics don’t seem to hold up in research. Various studies have found that birth order has no bearing on a person’s predisposition.

Research that appeared in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, looked at a number of studies and found no association of birth order on personality . The firstborn child is not necessarily the achiever, the middle born is not necessarily the peacemaker, and the last born is not necessarily the manipulator.

There's evidence that firstborns have slightly higher IQs than their younger siblings. Some researchers attribute this to parental age at the time of birth, while others contend that firstborns received more resources and attention from parents during important developmental stages. Other than this finding, there is no consistent evidence that firstborns, middle children, or last-borns reliably carry any particular traits whatsoever. 

One findings documented by researchers is that children born first tend to do better in school throughout childhood. This does not mean that they outshine their siblings in all realms throughout life. But because firstborn children get more attention from parents , they may be more motivated to fulfill parents’ expectations and therefore become more responsible. It is also possible that they may possess slightly higher IQs (see above), though most researchers think the IQ difference is so minimal that it does not translate into any real world gains. 

Parents do favor first- and last-born children over middle children . This happens in part because middle children will not likely be the only child living at home — at some point first-borns and last-borns will have their parents all to themselves. Overall, first-borns get the most privileges and last-borns receive the most affection from parents.

Younger siblings may want to find a place of their own within the family, and may therefore be less conforming to what their parents want. This may be why they appear more rebellious and open to novel experiences. The youngest child may also feel less capable and experienced, and may be more pampered by family members. As a result, the youngest may develop social skills that will get other people to do things for them, thus contributing to their image as charming and popular.

Discord between siblings is normal. The notion of the cheery harmonious family that never fights is a misnomer. Conflict can come in many forms, 85 percent of siblings are verbally aggressive, 74 percent push and shove, and 40 percent are physically aggressive, which can include kicking, punching, and biting. Among adult siblings, studies show that roughly half speak to or see one another about once a month; the other half communicate less frequently or not at all, and they are more likely to engage in competition and rivalry. The culture idealizes the potential of loving sibling relationships—but the reality often falls short.

Before children are a year old, they exhibit a sophisticated social understanding. They are sensitive to differences in their parents’ affection, warmth, pride, attention, and discipline. They are attuned to the emotional exchanges going on around them. They are quick to pick up differential treatment by parents. They are attuned to whether the treatment they or their siblings get is fair or unfair.

Rivalry may start as early as age 3. At this age, children have a sophisticated grasp of how to use social rules. They can evaluate themselves in relation to their siblings and possess the developmental skills necessary to adapt to frustrating circumstances and relationships in the family. They may even have the drive to adapt and get along with a sibling whose goals and interests may be different from their own.

The so-called  replacement child is one who is conceived to take the place of a deceased sibling. Over time, the definition has been expanded to include many other scenarios. These include an older child whose role within the family may be shifted to “take over” for a deceased sibling because of parental pressure and, or, survivor guilt; a child who is made to feel responsible for a sibling who is handicapped, challenged, or incapacitated from birth or becomes so during the course of their life; and a child who is adopted to take the place of a biological child the parents were unable to have.

Child psychiatrist Richard Hoetzel, M.D., advises parents to learn the root cause of a disagreement or fight. What started the brawl? Is one child jealous of the other? Did someone feel left out or have her feelings hurt by another member of the family? Sometimes, children who are angry at a parent wind up taking it out on a sibling.

For most parents, sibling conflict is just an additional and unnecessary source of family stress. Yet, fighting is not a sign of siblings not getting along. It is how they get along, using conflict to test their power, establish differences, and vent emotions. It's how they manage their love-hate relationship, each side of which is compelling in its own way. In healthy sibling rivalries, children can be both good companions and good opponents with each other. In unhealthy rivalries, there is only enmity. 

A large proportion of parents consistently favor one child over another. This favoritism can manifest in different ways: more time spent with one child, more affection given, more privileges, less discipline, or, the worst scenarios, less abuse. Some favoritism is fair, the arrival of a newborn or caring for an ill or disabled sibling. Some favoritism is unfair, in patriarchal cultures, parents simply favor boys over girls, for example. Favoritism is a common reason for sibling resentment. A child who feels unfavored will direct his anger toward his sibling, not to the parent showing favoritism .

A child's personality and behavior can affect how parents treat them. Parents behave more affectionately toward children who are pleasant and affectionate, and they direct more discipline toward children who act out or engage in unruly or deviant behavior. Because girls tend to be warmer and less aggressive than boys, parents are more likely to  favor daughters over sons, though this is not the case in patriarchal cultures.

Favoritism is also more likely when parents are under stress ; this can include everything from marital problems to financial difficulties. Parents may be unable to inhibit their true feelings or monitor their behavior to be sure they are being fair to all children. Some researchers argue that when emotional or material resources are limited, parents will favor children who have the most potential to thrive and reproduce.

Children who are consistently held in disfavor are more depressed, more aggressive, suffer lower self-esteem, and don’t necessarily reach their academic potential. Favored children also suffer, the unfair treatment poisons everyone. The unfavored sibling ends up resenting the favored one, sometimes well into adulthood.

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10 Benefits siblings bring

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Contrary to popular belief, St. John Paul never said “a sibling is the greatest gift you can get your child.” 

For one thing, he was aware that many families are unable to provide siblings to their children, and that is okay. But he did describe how a new child is never a burden, but a “gift to its brothers, sisters, parents and entire family.”

He is right, and increasingly, research — much of which author Mary Eberstadt collected in her newest book — shows how much siblings add to your life. 

1. Siblings help you learn life skills.

Eberstadt points out that we are leaning that wolves — and orcas and elephants and more — don’t live in “packs” “pods” or “herds” as we once thought. They live in families. 

For them and for us, “many of the cardinal lessons in life, those crucial to survival, are learned by observing and interacting with others of their kind — especially mothers and siblings.”

I know this is true of my nine children. I helped raise them, but they taught each other everything from how to ride a bike to how to navigate the hardware store.

2. Siblings help you learn social skills.

Eberstadt points out that other primates also rely on siblings. It has been observed that Rhesus monkeys with more siblings have more and better relationships with other monkeys.

We see that in our own children. They learn how to handle conflict — how to handle a fight, and how to keep or restore the peace.

Writes Eberstadt: “Diverse findings show that being accompanied through early life by nonparental contemporaneous others (i.e., siblings) gives children and teenagers a leg up on socialization.”

3. Siblings give you the benefits of birth order.

Previous generations loved talking about how your birth order benefits you whether you’re an older mentor sibling, a middle child mediator, or a youngest child getting attention.

Pew research notes this talk is largely irrelevant to many families now and cites an article saying middle children are “ an American rarity, just when America could use them the most .”

In fact, research shows that siblings learn empathy from one another regardless of birth order.

4 . Siblings provide built-in playdates.

Siblings “stop the scourge of loneliness,” writes Eberstadt. 

I found this true of my own children. When I asked them to tell me why they liked having siblings, their answers included: “You always have someone to play with,” and “If you don’t get along with one sibling, there are always eight others to try.”

5. Siblings provide built-in babysitters.

In a Catholic couples group we attend, everyone knows how important “date night” is to spouses, giving you time and privacy to talk about important things, a break from home life, and fanning the spark of romance.

But many couples find it impossible to date because of the expense and hassle of finding a babysitter. We don’t have that problem — we have built-in babysitters now, and they will have them for life ( see No. 7 ).

6. Siblings help build mental health.

Falling family sizes have come alongside growing levels of mental illness, including anxiety, repetitive behaviors, and self-harm. These are the same kind of behaviors that zoos see in animals that are torn from their families, Eberstadt points out.

It stands to reason: We are built for community and feel out of place without it. The kindness of others comforts us and their rough edges sharpen us.

7. Having siblings now means having uncles, aunts, and cousins later.

One of the great unexpected joys of parenthood has been seeing how well my 9-year-old son takes care of my 2-year-old granddaughter. Uncle Anthony is not that much older than his nephews and nieces — and he will know them for life.

Eberstadt points out that the fewer siblings now means future generations will lose the web of family relationships — aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws — that provide a crucial support system.

8. Siblings are lifelong friends.

“The sibling relationship is the one familial relationship potentially capable of enduring across all or most of one’s life,” writes Eberstadt.

From childhood to adulthood, she writes, siblings “serve as confidants and sources of nonjudgmental social support in times of stress.”

9. Having more siblings lowers your chance of divorce.

A study Eberstadt cites shows that the likelihood of divorce later in life can be predicted by the number of siblings one has now: more siblings mean less divorce.

Growing up seeing the opposite sex up close makes siblings “more confident and successful in the romance market,” she writes, and siblings teach you how to “share resources, bargain and take turns” — prerequisites for marriage. 

10. Last: More siblings now means more options for elderly parents later.

Elderly parents present challenges to their children: Who will take care of them? Who will bear the cost of professional care?

Many hands make light work, and many siblings make it easier to deal with parents later on.

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Psychologies

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The importance of siblings.

Our longest-lasting relationships can often be the most complex, says Emma Cook, but understanding the bond with our brothers and sisters can improve our lives in powerful ways

‘My sister and I are very close and we’re in touch a lot, yet it’s not an easy relationship’, says Marie, 36, of her sister Kate, who is two years older. ‘Often I’ll come off the phone feeling irritated and somehow dissatisfied. She manages to stir up emotions I don’t like, much more so than my friends or even my parents.’

A sibling relationship is likely to be the most enduring of our lives. The impact they have on our young and adult lives is enormous – they shape our history and our character, to a far greater extent than is usually acknowledged. The book Siblings In Development , edited by psychotherapists Vivienne Lewin and Belinda Sharp, states ‘siblings are not just second editions in relation to the parents, but have a profound importance in their own right. Relationships with siblings are ineradicably fixed in our psyches.’

Dr Terri Apter, child psychologist and author of The Sister Knot , says siblings ‘know you better than anyone. They may not always admire you, but they’ll always be intensely interested in you. If you ask a sibling to describe a parent, a friend or a sibling, it is the sibling that the child will describe with most sophistication and detail, in terms of their character and habits. This is why they are so significant.’

A study tracking almost 300 men from the late 1930s to the present day has shed new light on the importance of the sibling bond. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, 93 per cent of the men who were thriving at 65 had been close to a sibling in their early life. The study also reports that poorer relationships with siblings before the age of 20 could be a predictor of depression later in life, suggesting that the longer we can sustain close sibling relationships in adulthood, the more it can benefit and protect us emotionally.

Think about siblings around you, as well as your own, and consider how many of them really get on well, are truly happy, harmonious and close. Chances are they are few and far between. ‘Many of my clients get on badly with siblings, which could partly be down to the family dynamics of why they’re seeing me,’ says psychologist and therapist Martin Lloyd-Elliott. ‘Even so, anecdotally, I would say only a third of people I know report getting on well with siblings.’

Classic sibling dynamics often depend on what position we hold in the family. Elder children can often feel usurped when a younger one comes along and these feelings of rivalry can last well into adulthood. Many studies show that sisters tend to be closer to one another and that the worst age for bickering – regardless of gender – is when the elder child is 13 and the second-born is 10 years old. These dynamics are further complicated if stepsiblings are involved.

‘Constant competition may well shape our life script, leading us to filter every subsequent human interaction through the distorting prism of our original relationship with our siblings,’ says Lloyd-Elliott. ‘We’re all immersed in the unique culture of our particular home situation. Inevitably, any siblings who share that environment with us have an enormous influence on our overall experience of the world and we carry this forwards, often unconsciously, into our adult lives.’

In childhood it is often easier to express those negative feelings, but as we grow older, we try to suppress unpleasant feelings such as envy and anger. This is why so many siblings drift apart. ‘I was close to my brother as a young girl, but when I was nine I was sent to boarding school while he went to a day school,’ says Karen, 38. ‘I was so jealous of the fact that he stayed at home, but I also felt guilty and found it easier to keep my distance rather than admit this to him. It’s only now we’ve both got children that I feel able to see more of him.’ Meanwhile her brother remains unaware of his sister’s intense feelings.

Maybe this is why Lloyd-Elliott reports a certain confusion among many of the clients. They are aware that there is something amiss in their sibling relationships but unable to pinpoint why. ‘People speak to me rather wistfully of when they did get on well and are left thinking, “Where did that intense relationship go?”’ For those siblings who never got on as children, there is hope of a closer relationship as they grow older, says child-development specialist Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer. ‘Boys show jealousy and hatred in a much more physical way. It does seem to go on longer but, once they establish their adult identities, they feel they are respected,’ she says. ‘There can be a lot of pretence around sisters getting on, but beneath that there is more manipulation and nastiness than you get with brothers.’

The truth is that if you really didn’t get on with your siblings, there’s only one way to change the pattern in adulthood, which is determination and the will to work it out. ‘I remember one brother and sister who came to couple therapy because they felt it was so important to restore their relationship and I found that very moving,’ says Lloyd-Elliott. Watching my own children, I can see their bond is complex and intense, full of extreme displays of frustration, resentment but also intimacy and love. For their sake, I hope they can sustain that closeness in adulthood without the rivalry that seems so second nature to them now. You may compete with your siblings all your life, but you also love them and are deeply bonded to them. We need to accept that this is the most layered of our relationships and fight to keep it alive. The intimate history that siblings share can create tension, too.

‘I see a lot of people who still have difficulty being authentic with their siblings and find it very hard to talk to them,’ says psychologist Lucy Beresford. ‘Sometimes they feel a lot freer when they’re away from the nest. This is because many adult siblings don’t know each other as well as they did as children.’

Most of us change and carve out niches to differentiate ourselves from our family, so it can feel crushing to be constantly reminded of a former self that we’ve worked hard to leave behind. ‘It infuriates me that my elder sibling still sees me as this amusing but skittish younger sister,’ says Louisa, 34. ‘She even calls me Mia – her daughter’s name – by accident, which makes it abundantly clear how she views me.’

Part of forging mature sibling relationships means getting to know our siblings all over again. There are so many advantages of sibling relationships that can and should be nurtured. ‘You’re more likely to hold the same core values, a similar sense of origin and place, and an accumulation of shared crucial moments,’ says Lloyd-Elliott, ‘as well as family history on which to build.’

He believes sibling relationships can decline once we leave home because we don’t nurture them as we would romantic relationships and close friendships. Instead, we tend to be quite fatalistic about the way we behave with our siblings and assume that’s how it will always be. ‘They shouldn’t be something we take for granted,’ says Lloyd-Elliott. ‘Every relationship requires constant nourishment, as well as mutual respect. Your siblings are no exception.’

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Home Essay Samples Life Sibling

Advantages and Disadvantages of Having Siblings: Navigating the Bonds of Family

Table of contents, advantages of having siblings, disadvantages of having siblings, fostering positive sibling relationships, 1. lifelong companionship, 2. social skills and conflict resolution, 3. lessons in sharing and cooperation, 4. diversity of perspectives, 1. sibling rivalry, 2. loss of privacy, 3. labels and comparisons, 4. spread of resources and attention.

• Brody, G. H. (2018). Sibling relationships in childhood and adolescence: Predictors and outcomes. Guilford Press.
• Cicirelli, V. G. (2011). Sibling relationships across the life span. Springer Science & Business Media.
• Dunn, J., & Plomin, R. (1990). Separate lives: Why siblings are so different. Basic Books.
• Kramer, L., & Gottman, J. M. (1992). Becoming a sibling: With a special section for teens and for parents. Fireside.
• McHale, S. M., Updegraff, K. A., & Whiteman, S. D. (2012). Sibling relationships and influences in childhood and adolescence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(5), 913-930.

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The Importance of Siblings

Those of us who work with children can sometimes forget how important sibling relationships are to the healthy development of children and teenagers. We tend to focus more on parent relationships, which while incredibly important, are only a party of the family system. Yet 82 percent of children live with a sibling, and relationships with our siblings may be the longest of our lives.

Siblings are important for many reasons. First, given their closeness in age, kids may be more likely to tell their siblings things that they might not tell their parents. This might include typical topics such as friendships, relationships and school - but it may also include more worrisome topics, such as abuse, drug use, pregnancy, self-harming behavior or suicidal thoughts.

Second, given that children and teenagers are more likely to confide in their siblings, they may also turn more readily to their siblings as a source of support. This piece is critical, because we know that one of the biggest risk factors for developing youth is suffering in isolation. The ability for young people to express their feelings to anyone - sibling, parent, or friend - can be highly therapeutic and can prevent a worsening of depressed mood or anxiety. Finally, siblings can serve as a sounding board for one another before trying things out in social settings. There is evidence to suggest that healthy sibling relationships promote empathy, prosocial behavior and academic achievement.

While healthy sibling relationships can be an incredible source of support, unhealthy and toxic sibling relationships may be equally devastating and destabilizing. Siblings sometimes say things to one another that parents would never say to their child (termed "sibling bullying"), and thus siblings can be even more emotionally abusive to one another than adults typically are to children.

Another source of stress can be when adults compare one sibling to another. This has the dual effect of shattering the self-esteem of the sibling who feels judged, while driving a wedge between the siblings and pushing them further apart. Also, when one sibling is suffering medically or emotionally, it can be a considerable stressor for the entire household including other siblings.

A sibling who is engaging in unhealthy behavior could model this behavior to other, typically younger, siblings who follow suit. For example, teenager girls are more likely to engage in sexual activity at an earlier age or get pregnant in high school if they've had an older sibling who has done the same. Toxic sibling relationships have been linked to increased substance use, depression, self-harming behavior and psychotic experiences such as hallucinations and delusions in adolescence.

To get the most out of sibling relationships, parents and child professionals can do the following:

• Both parents and child professionals should ask about how sibling relationships are going, ways that they are healthy and also ways that they could be improved.
• Celebrate sibling differences and avoid comparing siblings. This will promote self-esteem and prevent wedges from being formed between siblings.
• Encourage siblings to work together and support one another.
• Have both siblings earn rewards for cooperating with one another, but have neither of them receive this reward when they are not cooperating with one another. This will create an external incentive for them to work with one another until they are old enough that it becomes second nature.
• When one child is suffering from a medical, developmental or emotional problem, try to ensure that other siblings also receive enough attention even thought his may be difficult. It is very common for children to develop their own emotional difficulties when their siblings are struggling.
• In cases of sibling conflict where parents feel stuck, encourage families to seek out family counseling or family therapy in which a professional can help siblings to get on the same page with one another.

The power of sibling relationships can be life-changing in a positive way, and a little bit of maintenance can go a long way in ensuring that these relationships stay healthy in the long run.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Sibling — Positive Effects Of Having A Sibling

Positive Effects of Having a Sibling

• Categories: Sibling

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Words: 735 |

Published: Dec 16, 2021

Words: 735 | Pages: 2 | 4 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, works cited.

• “Peer Relations: Sibling Relations and Their Impact on Children's Development.” Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development, www.child-encyclopedia.com/peer-relations/according-experts/sibling-relations-and-their-impact-childrens-development.
• Yeaman, John F. “Sibling Rivalry and Team Work.” Siblings Can Do Team Work, www.yeapeople.com/Par/Parfac/Team-par.html.

Should follow an “upside down” triangle format, meaning, the writer should start off broad and introduce the text and author or topic being discussed, and then get more specific to the thesis statement.

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The topic sentence serves as the main point or focus of a paragraph in an essay, summarizing the key idea that will be discussed in that paragraph.

The body of each paragraph builds an argument in support of the topic sentence, citing information from sources as evidence.

After each piece of evidence is provided, the author should explain HOW and WHY the evidence supports the claim.

Should follow a right side up triangle format, meaning, specifics should be mentioned first such as restating the thesis, and then get more broad about the topic at hand. Lastly, leave the reader with something to think about and ponder once they are done reading.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Family / Sibling

Sibling Essay Examples

Causes of sibling rivalry: understanding family dynamics.

Sibling relationships are among the most enduring and complex bonds in our lives. While siblings can provide emotional support and companionship, they can also experience rivalry and conflicts. Sibling rivalry is a common phenomenon that has been observed in families across cultures and generations. In...

The Power of Family Ties: Advantages of Having Siblings

When discussing the benefits of having siblings, this essay focuses on how having siblings can actually develop life skills that help individuals to succeed in life. While siblings may hit us and cause us to overreact, they can also teach us important life skills such...

My Brother is the Main Reason Why I Am Thankful for My Family

There was nothing more comforting than knowing I had an older brother to protect me from all the things I feared. He was there for me when I woke up from a bad dream and helped me get through my worst days at school. The...

Levels of Internalising and Externalising in Sibling Relationships

The existing literature on children in out-of-home care demonstrates the importance of maintaining the sibling bond following removal from the family home. However, no support was found for my first hypothesis that children in co-resident placements would have lower externalising and internalising scores but higher...

Issues Faced by the Siblings' of Mentally Challenged Children

Mental retardation is a condition of arrested or incomplete development of the mind, which is especially characterized by impairment of skills manifested during the developmental period, which contribute to the overall level of intelligence, i.e. cognitive, language, motor, and social abilities. Mentally challenged is able...

Step-siblings: How to Build a Good Relationship

Truth be told, welcoming a step-sibling into your family could feel awkward and even difficult. How will you feel if you are suddenly required to play the role of a brother or sister to someone who was never there a few months ago, or somebody...

The Stevie Wonder’s Siblings

Stevie Wonder is the only artist to have won the Grammy Album of the Year award with three consecutive album releases. A child prodigy, Stevie started singing from his local choir at a young age. The iconic musician was born prematurely which led to his...

Sibling Relationships and the Case for and Against Placing Them Together in Foster Care Or Adoption

This essay aims to look more intensely at sibling relationships and the case for and against placing them together in foster care or adoption. It is clear that although the law namely, the Children and Young Person’s act 2008 along with other social norms, support...

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