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How to Live a Happy Life: An Honest Essay

What is a happy life?

Is it a fulfilling career? Money? Success? Approval? Fame?

What if I told you it is none of these things?

Would you be surprised, or is there something in you that recognizes that this is true?

In society, you are praised if you’re ambitious, successful, rich, and famous.

Yet none of these things lead to happiness. Sure, you could say money increases happiness, but that is only to the point of covering the necessities plus a little extra.

This article is will not cover what is convenient, but instead look at what leads to long-term peace.

1. Contemplate

To contemplate means to look at attentively and thoughtfully.

What is it that makes you happy? What is your definition of happy?

What made you happy in the past?

And I’m not pointing to buying a new house, getting a raise, or getting likes on social media. Those are passing pleasures.

You may even benefit from using a different word than happy. What about content or peaceful?

To me happy means the absence of suffering, and the absence of suffering doesn’t mean no pain. There will always be unpleasant sensations or pain, but what can be transcended is the follow-up reaction.

This is by no means an easy task, but it is also not impossible.

The journey begins with one tiny step.

2. Present Moment

What stops this moment from being enough?

Pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that come up.

You could even say to yourself: Everything is perfect as it is.

This will no doubt bring up objections. Instead of believing the narrative, notice that there’s a feeling in your body that is being neglected.

Can you meet this feeling?

There’s no need to label it. Just feel the sensations. Notice how they move.

For a moment, imagine that every desire and aversion you have is an escape from this moment, from feeling.

If you feel overwhelmed with the feelings in the body, feel free to take things slow. Most people have avoided this for their whole lives.

3. Equanimity

We are thrown here and there not by life, but by our reactions to life.

Developing equanimity is seeing that these reactions serve no purpose. If someone cuts me off in traffic, does it benefit anyone for me to become angry?

The problem is that these reactions feel like who we are, so we never even question them.

There are plenty of people who drive cars that never become angry. This kind of inquiry into yourself is not comfortable, because you have to sit with unpleasant sensations.

If you are willing to do this, you will discover that there is no reason to react except to escape from a feeling we don’t want to feel.

Don’t try to eliminate reactions. Instead, become curious–what purpose do they serve?

Start small. Become aware of small irritations you have. Notice how those try to distract from a feeling.

Awareness is how this all starts. Just notice what is happening, and wonder if it has to be that way.

Starting a simple and easy meditation practice will make this process much easier.

4. Connections

Study after study shows the benefit of connecting with like-minded people.

Yet it’s not easy to reach out, especially if you’re an introvert, but it is worth it.

Here, too, emotional work is required, because there can be patterns of shame, pride, worthlessness, failure, and rejection that stop us from reaching out.

This has been the case for me, and exploring these hidden places brings up memories long forgotten. This kind of investigation is uncomfortable at first, but rewarding in the end.

If you’re unsure of doing this, get in touch with a professional that can guide you through the process. Sometimes you just need a few sessions in order to learn some tools and discover that you are capable of this.

There may even be resistance to seeking help. If so, that is the feeling that needs to be welcomed.

I told you that this article wasn’t going to be convenient, didn’t I?

If you pick even one of the tips above, and implement it, it will make a difference. The only problem is that these are not easy to integrate.

There’s no need to force any of this.

Even if you forget you ever read this, that’s okay. Life has a way of bringing you back if this is your path.

Sometimes we need to bang our heads against the wall until something breaks. Only then are we ready to try something new.

I know that’s definitely been the case for me.

So don’t be too hard on yourself. Enjoy the journey.

All the best, Henri

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Essay on Happy Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Happy Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Happy Life

What is a happy life.

A happy life is one filled with joy and contentment. It’s when you are satisfied with what you have and who you are. You feel at peace. It is not about having lots of money or possessions. Instead, it’s about finding happiness in small things and enjoying each moment.

Importance of Relationships

A happy life often includes good relationships. These can be with family, friends, or even pets. Being kind and caring to others can make you feel good. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can also bring joy.

Health and Happiness

Good health is key to a happy life. This includes both physical and mental health. Eating healthy foods, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising can help. Also, taking time to relax and do things you enjoy can boost your mood.

Learning and Growth

Learning new things can make life exciting and fun. It helps us grow as people. Trying new activities, reading books, or learning a new skill can bring happiness. It gives us a sense of achievement and boosts our confidence.

In conclusion, a happy life is about more than just being happy. It’s about being content with who you are and what you have. It’s about enjoying the simple things, maintaining good relationships, staying healthy, and continuing to learn and grow.

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250 Words Essay on Happy Life

A happy life is a life filled with joy and contentment. It’s when you feel good about who you are and what you do. It’s about being satisfied with what you have and not always wanting more. It’s about feeling loved and giving love to others.

How to Live a Happy Life?

Living a happy life is not hard, but it does need some effort. Here are some ways to live a happy life:

First, be thankful for what you have. It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have but being grateful for what we do have can make us happier.

Second, be kind to others. Being nice to people can make them happy, and their happiness can make us happy too.

Third, take care of your health. Eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, and exercising can make us feel good and happy.

The Role of Friends and Family

Friends and family play a big role in our happiness. Spending time with them, sharing our thoughts and feelings, and doing fun things together can make us feel loved and happy.

Challenges and Happiness

Life is not always easy. We all face challenges and problems. But even in tough times, we can find happiness. We can learn from our mistakes and grow stronger. We can find joy in small things like a beautiful sunset or a kind word from a friend.

In conclusion, a happy life is not just about having lots of money or success. It’s about being content with what we have, being kind to others, taking care of our health, and cherishing our friends and family. Even in tough times, we can find happiness if we look for it.

500 Words Essay on Happy Life

A happy life is like a beautiful journey filled with joy and satisfaction. It is not about having a lot of money or expensive things. Instead, it is about feeling good about who you are and what you do. It is about having good health, loving relationships, and time to enjoy life’s little pleasures.

The Importance of Good Health

Good health is like a golden key to a happy life. When we are healthy, we can do anything we want. We can play, study, and spend time with our friends. We feel energetic and full of life. Eating nutritious food, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are some ways to keep our health in top shape.

Value of Relationships

Having loving relationships is another important part of a happy life. Our family and friends give us love, support, and companionship. They make us feel loved and important. They are there for us in good times and bad. Spending quality time with our loved ones, helping them when they need us, and sharing our feelings with them can make our life happier.

Importance of Doing What You Love

Doing what we love can bring us a lot of happiness. It could be playing a sport, painting, reading, or even helping others. When we do what we love, we feel a sense of joy and fulfillment. It makes us feel that we are doing something meaningful. So, it’s important to find out what we love to do and spend some time doing it.

Learning to Appreciate Small Things

Sometimes, we forget to appreciate the small things in life. A beautiful sunrise, a delicious meal, a good book, or a kind word from a friend can bring us a lot of happiness. Learning to appreciate these small things can make our life more joyful and fulfilling.

Overcoming Challenges

Life is not always easy. There are times when we face difficulties and challenges. But overcoming these challenges can make us stronger and happier. It teaches us to be patient and to never give up. It helps us to appreciate the good times even more.

In conclusion, a happy life is about feeling good about ourselves, having good health, loving relationships, doing what we love, appreciating the small things, and overcoming challenges. It’s not about having a lot of money or expensive things. It’s about enjoying the journey of life with a positive attitude and a grateful heart. Remember, happiness is a choice. Choose to live a happy life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier Essay

Every human being wants to be happy. This is what we are born for on this earth. This is what every person is striving for during his/her lifetime.

Nowadays, the quest for happiness is something that millions of people are obsessed with. Go to any book store, and you will see hundreds of “guides” written by reputable psychologists and unknown authors on how to be happy. Can they really teach how to be happy and live a joyful life? Should we take them seriously?

I will try to answer these questions in my paper. A guide that I took as an example is called How to Live a Happy Life – 101 Ways to Be Happier . The book was written by Michele Moore. Its first edition was published in 2007. One of the special features of the book is a Happiness Quiz at the end that you can do, define what happiness actually means to you, and develop your personal plan on how to be happy.

So, what is the author’s main idea? What was the major purpose of writing the book? The author claims that all those who want to be happy should turn happiness into a habit. What is a habit? It is something that we do automatically without even noticing it. Habits come naturally, and happiness should be the same natural part of our daily lives as well.

At a glance, turning happiness into a daily habit seems to be extremely complicated, for someone, probably, even impossible. What Michele Moore suggests to start with is defining happiness (Moore, 2007, p. 17). Needless to say, everybody would have own definition. For somebody, happiness means financial stability and overall success. For others, happiness means having a beloved one and be happy with him/her. Finally, there are people who view happiness in such things as alcohol, drugs or shopping, being popular, etc.

In other words, one’s happiness depends greatly on personal traits, values, priorities. Every person is happy in own way. This statement, in fact, is supported by other researchers. For example, Dr. Alan Carr also draws parallels between personal traits and happiness, and states that because of personal traits, some people even will never be able to achieve happiness (Carr, 2004, p. 16).

To define own way to happiness, Michele Moore recommends just to put everything on paper in order to have a clear vision of your goals and your happiness (Moore, 2007, p. 17). What is one of the biggest problems of people who want to be happy but cannot reach it? They simply have a vague understanding of their own happiness. If you go and ask somebody “What makes you happy”, you will not always hear a clear and precise answer.

Therefore, if you want to be happy, first visualize your happiness, imagine yourself as a happy person. Then, set up particular goals or steps that you need to take to achieve your happiness. It should be a conscious process, some concrete goals, and concrete ways of accomplishing them.

Another important claim that Moore (2007) makes is “Truly happy people are never evil” (p. 37). How can one be happy if he/she has something evil in mind, wants to hurt somebody, or simply wants another person to be unhappy? Happiness in other words can be defined as niceness, as an ability to cooperate with others, help people, make friends, etc. A happy person lives in harmony with the outside world and all people.

The same idea is shared by Dr. Carr. He says that happiness correlates with close relations and friendship. In his work, he describes a study of the happiest college students. Results of this study show that active and rich social life, friends play a great role in lives of the happiest college students (Carr, 2004, p. 23).

Another extremely significant, from my point of view, idea that Michele Moore develops in the book refers to emotional independence. Have you ever notices how emotions of other people almost automatically make you feel the same way? If your friend is angry or depressed, very soon you will feel the same mad or distressed.

This is what happy people do not allow other people do. Nobody can control other person’s emotions and feelings. Nobody should down your spirits. Happy people are just independent from negative people and their negative emotions or some outside circumstances that can make them feel bad (Moore, 2007, p. 43).

Yet, it should be mentioned that not all scholars agree with this position. For example, Eric G. Wilson, a professor of English at Wake Forest University, North Carolina, says Americans are too addicted to positive thinking and happiness, while melancholy and depressive moods are an integral part of our lives, our lives that are so filled with troubles and negative events (Wilson, 2008, p. 29). He does not support people in their addiction to happiness, he disagrees with all those self-help books (by the way, like the one I am discussing right now). According to Wilson (2008), “Melancholy is the muse of great literature, painting, music, and innovation” (p. 34).

Well, probably, melancholy is one of the aspects of Mr. Wilson’s happiness. We have already discussed that personal traits can affect how happy or unhappy a person can be. Anyway, I am not going to judge Professor Wilson, but simply will say that such way of thinking is not for me.

What else do I want to add about Michele Moore’s How to Live a Happy Life – 101 Ways to Be Happie r? First, the book is written in a simple and clear language, which already can make the reader happy. Comparing to other studies of happiness, particularly, those I have used, the book is very easy and exciting to read.

At the end of the book, the author provides bibliography, which is not always typical for self-help books. One of the sources mentioned in the list belongs to the spiritual leader of Tibet Dalai Lama. It is his famous work The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living . However, I should point out that Moore does not use some reputable researches in Psychology.

A few words should be added about Michele Moore. She is not only the author of How to Live a Happy Life – 101 Ways to Be Happier , but also of the Happiness Blog, produces Happy Life TV.

What is my overall impression from reading the book? At the first sight, it may look like hundreds of other books of this kind, but I am sure reading this particular guide to happiness can be useful. Why? I have several reasons for that:

• As I have already mentioned, the book is written in a simple language. You do not have to think about the meaning of some words, but just get your benefit from reading;
• The author, actually, talks about some simple laws and eternal truths that have been known thousands of years ago, e.g. do not harm others, make goodness, and others. These laws have been proven to be effective.
• Finally, the book is written in a very positive and enthusiastic way. As for me, it is really inspiring, and I believed Michele Moore from the very first lines.

To sum everything up, I will recommend the book to all those who want to change their lives. Definitely, everything depends on how seriously one will take the book, but I guess it will not help skeptics or materialists. To all those who, at least, a little believe in miracles I will say “Give it a try!”

Reference List

Carr A. (2004). Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness and Human Strengths. East Sussex: Brunner-Routledge.

Moore M. (2007). How to Live a Happy Life – 101 Ways to Be Happier. Atlanta, Georgia: Happiness Habit Press.

Wilson E. G. (2008). Against Happiness In Praise of Melancholy. New York: Sarah Crichton Books.

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IvyPanda. (2021, March 18). How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier. https://ivypanda.com/essays/how-to-live-a-happy-life-101-ways-to-be-happier/

"How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier." IvyPanda , 18 Mar. 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/how-to-live-a-happy-life-101-ways-to-be-happier/.

IvyPanda . (2021) 'How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier'. 18 March.

IvyPanda . 2021. "How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier." March 18, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/how-to-live-a-happy-life-101-ways-to-be-happier/.

1. IvyPanda . "How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier." March 18, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/how-to-live-a-happy-life-101-ways-to-be-happier/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "How to Live a Happy Life: 101 Ways to Be Happier." March 18, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/how-to-live-a-happy-life-101-ways-to-be-happier/.

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Drama — A simple life is a happy life

A Simple Life is a Happy Life

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How to Live a Happy Life

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We all want to be happy. But we sometimes think of happiness as a thing that happens to us — something we have no control over. It's easy to link the idea of happiness with the situation we're in. We might tell ourselves, "If only things were different, then I'd be happy."

But that's not really how happiness works. Research shows that just a small portion of happiness (only about 10%) depends on a person's situation. So where does most of our happiness come from?

Born Happy?

Part of happiness depends on personality. Some people have a naturally happy nature. We all know people who are cheerful and optimistic most of the time. Their upbeat personalities make it easier for them to be happy.

So what does that mean for people who are born with a personality that's on the grumpy side? They might see the faults in people and situations instead of the good. Their mood might be glum more often than it's cheerful. But if they'd like to be happier (and who wouldn't?), it is possible to get there.

Happiness Is Up to Us

Researchers have found that more than half of happiness depends on things that are actually under our control. That's really good news because it means everyone can be happier.

A big part of how happy we are depends on our mindset, the habits we practice, and the way we live each day. By learning the key ingredients of happiness, we can use them to become happier.

Why Happiness Matters

Happiness is more than a good feeling or a yellow smiley face. It's the feeling of truly enjoying your life, and the desire to make the very best of it. Happiness is the "secret sauce" that can help us be and do our best.

Here's what researchers found when they studied happy people:

• Happy people are more successful.
• Happy people are better at reaching goals.
• Happy people are healthier.
• Happy people live longer.
• Happy people have better relationships.
• Happy people learn better.

Ingredients for a Happy Life

Happiness is so important in our lives that it has it's own field of research called positive psychology . Experts in this field have found that there are key things that make people happier:

Positive Emotions

Joy. Gratitude . Love. Amazement. Delight. Playfulness. Humor. Inspiration. Compassion. Hope. Creativity. Interest. Excitement. Enjoyment. Calm. We all like to have these positive feelings.

Besides feeling good, positive emotions do good things for our brains and bodies. They lower stress hormones, help ease anxiety and depression, and improve our immune system.

Feeling some positive emotions every day has a big effect on our happiness and well-being. That's why it's so important to do things that give us positive feelings. Even simple actions like playing with a child or a pet or going for a walk outdoors can inspire these feelings.

Knowing how to manage our negative emotions is also key to happiness. Difficult emotions are a fact of life. But the way we handle them makes all the difference.

Strengths and Interests

The things we're good at, and like to do, are our strengths. We all have strengths, even if we haven't discovered them yet.

Strengths include:

• the things we're interested in — for example, music, art, science, building things, cooking, reading
• any skills we have — like painting, playing an instrument, or playing a sport
• our good qualities — such as kindness, humor, or leadership

Happiness increases when we discover a strength and practice it. The more we practice a strength, the better we get until we really master it.

When we get really good at doing something we enjoy, we can get lost in it. That's called flow. Experiencing flow helps boost happiness. Finding daily ways to use our strengths is a key ingredient for a happy life.

Good Relationships

The people in our lives matter. Good relationships are one of the best ways to enjoy happiness, health, and well-being.

Developing certain emotional skills can help us form and keep good relationships. When we are there for the people in our lives — and when they're there for us — we are more resilient, resourceful, and successful.

Here are some of the skills that help us build good relationships:

• learning how to understand and express our emotions
• using empathy to understand how someone else feels
• using kindness
• showing gratitude
• developing assertiveness to say what we want and need

Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life

Our lives can be busy with day-to-day activities and responsibilities. Many of us multi-task, so we might race ahead, thinking about the next place we need to be. But slowing down to pay attention to what we're doing and why builds happiness.

Pay attention to the effects of your actions. Notice the ways (big or small) that you make a difference. Live life based on the values that are important to you. Take time to think of what really matters to you (like helping others or protecting the planet).

In what way do you want to make the world a better place? Notice any small daily actions that point you in that direction. They help give your life a sense of meaning and increase happiness.

Achievement

When our lives are rich with positive emotions, great relationships, strengths to practice, and a sense of purpose, we are ready to accomplish things.

Setting and achieving goals gives us something to put our energy into. It lets us see how we make a difference.

Put effort into things that matter to you. Do your best at whatever you try, without a need to be perfect. If things don't work out at first, keep an optimistic mindset and try again. Believe in yourself and your dreams.

Set realistic goals and small action steps to turn dreams into realities. To make a success even sweeter, celebrate it with people you care about.

Get Happier

OK, so you can learn how to be happier by managing your mindset, calming your mind , becoming more confident, using your strengths, building your self-esteem , doing things you enjoy, and creating good relationships. That's a lot of things to think about! You can't tackle them all at once. But you can start small and pick one thing to do.

The best way to reach any goal is to begin with small, specific actions. After doing these for a while, they become habits — things that fit into your day without you thinking about them too much. That's when you move on to build a new daily habit. Achieving small, specific goals can add up to big happiness!

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How to Live A Happy Life

Last Updated: October 26, 2023 Approved

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 31 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 12 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 516,376 times.

Everyone wants to be happy in life. While individuals may define success or measure happiness differently, there are some basic qualities of a happy life that seem to be universal. Studies have shown that no matter where you begin in life, how you consciously live through your adult years will determine your overall lifelong happiness more than your financial situation, or even your happiness at an earlier age. [1] X Research source Learning how to live better and feel more positive about the world around you can help you live a happy and meaningful life.

Living a Healthier Life

• Filtering - this behavioral problem involves ignoring or "filtering out" all the positive aspects of your life or a given situation, and instead focusing on only the negative aspects. An example might be overlooking everything you accomplished at work and instead focusing on the one problem you were unable to successfully resolve.
• Personalizing - this entails blaming yourself for everything that happens. It can also involve interpreting any situational criticism as something that you are or should be blamed for. An example of this might involve hearing that your friends can't make it to a party and assuming that they canceled their plans to avoid seeing you.
• Catastrophizing - this means automatically preparing for or expecting the worst possible scenario. An example of this might be assuming that the rest of your day will go wrong because of one minor setback early in your day.
• Polarizing - this involves seeing things, people, and situations as always good or always bad. An example might be assuming that because you had an off day at work, you are automatically a bad employee.

• identify the things you think negatively about, and recognize why
• evaluate your thoughts and feelings throughout the day
• seek humor in everyday situations and allow yourself to smile or laugh even when you're upset
• live a healthy lifestyle
• spend time with positive people (and avoid negative people as much as possible)
• be gentle with yourself - a good rule for yourself is to avoid thinking things about yourself that you would not say to another person [5] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• try to find the positive aspects of negative situations
• envision a more positive future for yourself and determine what you'll need to do to make that vision a reality [6] X Research source

• Focus on your breathing. Become aware of the physical sensation of each breath passing through your nostrils, the rising and falling of your abdomen, and the feeling of your legs and feet on the chair or floor.
• Meditate . Activities that promote meditation, including an extended peaceful prayer , yoga , Tai Chi , or spiritual reflection, actually change an area of your brain called the insula, which is involved in your experience of empathy/understanding others. Developing your empathy muscles (helping others) will help you lead a happier life. [8] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
• Try to engage your senses in everything you do. When you eat, look at your food for a moment and smell it. You may want to consider feeling it with your hands to experience the tactile sensation of your food. Try to anticipate what it will taste like, and chew slowly to savor the experience. [9] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source

• Most adults need 1.5 to 2 cups of fresh fruit or 100% fruit juice every day. [10] X Trustworthy Source USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. agency responsible for promoting good nutrition based on scientific research Go to source
• Adults should eat between 2.5 and 3 cups of fresh vegetables every day. [11] X Trustworthy Source USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. agency responsible for promoting good nutrition based on scientific research Go to source
• Choose whole grains instead of refined grains. Adults should eat six to eight ounces of whole grains every day, depending on their age, gender, and activity level. [12] X Trustworthy Source USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. agency responsible for promoting good nutrition based on scientific research Go to source
• Eat a variety of protein foods every day. Adults typically need between 5 and 6.5 ounces of lean protein, including seafood, poultry/eggs, tofu, beans, nuts, and seeds. [13] X Trustworthy Source USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. agency responsible for promoting good nutrition based on scientific research Go to source
• Choose low-fat or fat-free dairy products, including milk, yogurt, cheese, or soymilk. Adults typically need three cups of dairy every day. [14] X Trustworthy Source USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. agency responsible for promoting good nutrition based on scientific research Go to source
• Drink enough water each day. General guidelines for living in a temperate climate suggest that men should drink three liters of water each day, and women should drink 2.2 liters. If you live in a hot environment, however, or if you live a very active lifestyle (especially if you exercise regularly), you should increase your water intake to account for the water lost in sweat. [15] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source

• Practice deep breathing by breathing in and out from your diaphragm (below the ribcage), instead of taking shallow breaths from your chest. Try to develop a pattern of deep breathing, like counting to five on a slow inhalation, holding your breath for five seconds, and exhaling slowly for five seconds. [17] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• Practice meditation by sitting in a comfortable position away from anything that might distract you. Use deep breathing and try to focus only on your breath, letting go of any thoughts that pass through your mind without judging them or engaging with them. [18] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• Use visualization to calm your mind and put yourself in a better mood. Combine deep breathing with an imagined image of something calming, such as a relaxing place or situation. [19] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source

• Exercise regularly. Experts recommend getting at least 150 minutes each week of moderate aerobic activity, or at least 75 minutes per week of strenuous aerobic activity. Try to incorporate strength-training exercises (like lifting weights or using weight resistance) at least twice each week for a well-rounded workout. [20] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• Avoid smoking, and quit if you are currently a smoker . [21] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source You can use smoking cessation products like nicotine gum or patches, and you may find it helpful to attend a support group or recruit the help of your friends/family. [22] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• Practice safe sex by always using condoms and engaging in monogamous, exclusive relationships. [23] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source

Finding Purpose in Your Life

• friendship/connections with others
• generosity/service to others

• Figure out what you're passionate about doing. You might begin this by examining what your values are. Do you value compassion and generosity? Perhaps a career helping other people might be personally fulfilling for you.
• Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Just because you are getting by at your job, it does not mean that you derive any real satisfaction or fulfillment from it. Try finding ways to pursue your passion through volunteer work, and if you like it, see if there is any way you can transition into doing that work professionally on a full-time basis.
• Having a fulfilling career will most likely give you a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment than having a lot of money would. You need to be financially secure, of course, but it's more important to live with a sense of purpose than to acquire meaningless wealth.

• Practice self-reflection every day. Learn to control and take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
• Find ways to increase your compassion for others. Work to help others in need, no matter what their circumstances might be.
• Try to maintain hope and a positive attitude, even during stressful or tragic situations. [26] X Research source
• Engage with nature. The natural world can be tremendously calming, and many people find that being in nature gives them a sense of spiritual happiness. Try going for walks in the woods, and contemplating the landscape whenever you are outdoors. You can also bring nature to you by planting a garden or growing flowering plants in your home or yard. [27] X Research source

• Find groups that share a cause you're passionate about.
• Try volunteering with like-minded people for some kind of shared cause.
• Join ( or start ) a book club. You'll get to interact with people who share your interests while also bonding over works of art. [29] X Research source

Dealing with Challenges in Life

• Don't avoid dealing with your problems. Address them as they arise, and recognize that a given problem needs your attention.
• Think about the times you've faced your problems in the past. You no doubt walked away with a greater sense of purpose and a stronger sense of confidence. Remember this as you approach new and bigger problems, and take comfort in this fact.

• Remember that without hard times, you would not have as much appreciation for the good times.
• Accepting your life the way it is right now is the only way you can truly appreciate everything you have. Be grateful for the people in your life, no matter how difficult your life's circumstances may be at the moment.
• Recognize that everyone has similar struggles in some form or another. No life is without difficulty, but it is through perseverance and mindfulness that life becomes joyous and meaningful.

• It will not be easy to see your problems as an opportunity for growth, but with mindfulness and a lot of practice, you'll quickly see that you do actually grow and develop from living through your challenges.
• Recognize and always remember that life is full of meaning. Just because you are going through a hard time (like being unemployed or losing a loved one), or even suffering physical/medical ailments (like chronic illness or the loss of a limb), it does not mean that your life is without meaning.
• Try to use the problems in your life to motivate you. Perhaps living with a medical condition might give you the opportunity to join others in raising awareness of that condition, or even working towards finding a cure.
• Know that even if a given problem doesn't work out favorably, you'll still have grown as a person and developed more confidence as a result of facing your problems and trying to learn from them.

Being a More Loving Person

• Write a letter to someone you appreciate (a parent, a friend, your romantic partner, etc.) and let that person know why you appreciate them. Thank that person for everything they've done for you, and let them know that you value their friendship.
• Keep a journal of things you're grateful for. You can write about the big things in life, of course, but carry your journal around every day and write about the little things, too. Perhaps a hot latte prepared perfectly at your favorite cafe was what you needed to feel better on a gray, rainy day. Often it's the little things that can have a tremendous impact on your day-to-day life.
• Take time to dwell on pleasant places and things you encounter. Allow yourself to stop what you're doing and watch the sunset, or slow down your walk through the park to enjoy the colors of the leaves around you.
• Share good news and joyous occasions with others in your life. Studies have shown that sharing good news with someone you care about can actually increase your joy, and it allows your friend to engage with you in your moment of happiness.

• Keep in mind that criticism can be constructive or non-constructive. For example, if after giving a presentation someone tells you that you made a bunch of mistakes and that it was really boring, then this is not constructive. This statement is mean and it does not offer an opportunity for you to improve your next presentation.
• However, if a classmate tells you that she really liked your presentation, but sometimes had a hard time following along because you were talking kind of fast, then this is constructive feedback. You received a compliment and can use this information to improve on your next presentation.
• If you receive feedback that upsets you, try to take some time for yourself before you do or say anything about it. Take a walk, call up a friend, or do something else to distract yourself. Wait until you are feeling less emotional to think about ways that you can use the feedback to improve yourself. [34] X Research source

• We all make mistakes, and we often learn from those mistakes. That's what makes someone a stronger, more caring individual.
• Forgiving others doesn't mean you have to necessarily forget others' wrongdoings. It also doesn't mean you should make yourself a doormat that other people walk all over. It simply means recognizing that someone (including yourself) made a mistake, hoping that something was learned from that mistake, and letting go of anger and resentment.
• It's often easy to forgive others for their mistakes, but hard to forgive yourself. Don't hold yourself to an unfair standard that you wouldn't hold others to. Accept yourself as someone who is trying his or her best, and try to learn any lessons you can from your mistakes.

• See yourself in others, and try to see others in yourself. Your experiences are ultimately not so different from other's experiences, and everyone desires happiness, health, and affection.
• Offer genuine warmth, humor, and friendliness to everyone around you.
• Try smiling at others. It may be the little boost that someone needed to get through a difficult moment.
• Everyone has hurdles to overcome. We're learning through life every day, so it's natural that everyone will occasionally make mistakes.
• Practice genuine gratitude to others. This extends beyond being grateful when someone does something nice to you. Learn to appreciate the patience, love, and efforts of everyone in your life, including those who work with you or for you. [36] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• Living a happy life may not come easily for you. It may take a lot of work and awareness on your part. Ultimately, though, it will all be worth it. Thanks Helpful 17 Not Helpful 3
• Be thankful for and grateful towards everyone in your life. Take stock of the good things and the kind people in your life, and always remember that life can be wonderful if you have the right attitude and the right support. Thanks Helpful 15 Not Helpful 4
• Practice working towards a happier life every day. Over time it will become a habit, and it will start to come more easily. Thanks Helpful 10 Not Helpful 2

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/02/decoding-keys-to-a-healthy-life/
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=2
• ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/stay-positive
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
• ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_neuroscience_of_happiness
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356?pg=2
• ↑ http://www.choosemyplate.gov/fruit
• ↑ http://www.choosemyplate.gov/vegetables
• ↑ http://www.choosemyplate.gov/grains
• ↑ http://www.choosemyplate.gov/protein-foods
• ↑ http://www.choosemyplate.gov/dairy
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/basics/relaxation-techniques/hlv-20049495
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/stress-management/basics/definition/prc-20021046
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/basics/definition/prc-20013692
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/basics/fitness-basics/hlv-20049447
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/quit-smoking/basics/quitsmoking-basics/hlv-20049487
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/quit-smoking/basics/quitsmoking-action-plan/hlv-20049487
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/basics/std-prevention/hlv-20049432
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mind-over-money/201309/living-purpose
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-point/201404/how-live-purposeful-and-fulfilling-life
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spiritual-wisdom-secular-times/201107/advancing-the-spiritual-path-1-spiritual-skills
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spiritual-wisdom-secular-times/201108/advancing-the-spiritual-path-3-secular-spiritual
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/201502/why-even-introverts-need-community
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-personal-renaissance/201502/where-is-your-community
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201412/7-strategies-face-lifes-challenges
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meaning-making/201405/overcoming-lifes-difficult-moments
• ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Assert-Yourself/Assert-Yourself---07----Dealing-With-Criticism-Assertively.pdf
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201601/how-live-compassionately-forgive-yourself-forgive-others
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201507/4-keys-happiness

About This Article

Living a happy life starts with basic self-care. Try to eat a healthy, balanced diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise a little bit each day so that you feel your best. Make time for fun and relaxing activities, like spending time with friends and doing hobbies you enjoy. When you feel overwhelmed, do stress-relieving activities like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises. Your mental attitude can make a big difference in how happy you feel, so watch out for negative self-talk. Next time you get down on yourself, gently replace the negative thought with a more positive or realistic one. Set realistic goals for yourself and work toward them a little bit every day, since this can help give you a sense of purpose. Remember to celebrate your successes, even the little ones. For more advice from our co-author, including how to deal with challenges in life, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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A woman walks alone to her community in the Peruvian Andes. All photos by Karla Gachet/Panos

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

On the happy life

With a new introduction and commentary by massimo pigliucci.

For the person who lives a virtuous life, of steadfastness and good judgment, happiness is always within reach

Massimo Pigliucci

Lucius Annaeus Seneca is a towering and controversial figure of antiquity. He lived from 4 BCE to 65 CE, was a Roman senator and political adviser to the emperor Nero, and experienced exile but came back to Rome to become one of the wealthiest citizens of the Empire. He tried to steer Nero toward good governance, but in the process became his indirect accomplice in murderous deeds. In the end, he was ‘invited’ to commit suicide by the emperor, and did so with dignity, in the presence of his friends.

Seneca wrote a number of tragedies that directly inspired William Shakespeare, but was also one of the main exponents of the Stoic school of philosophy, which has made a surprising comeback in recent years. Stoicism teaches us that the highest good in life is the pursuit of the four cardinal virtues of practical wisdom, temperance, justice and courage – because they are the only things that always do us good and can never be used for ill. It also tells us that the key to a serene life is the realisation that some things are under our control and others are not: under our control are our values, our judgments, and the actions we choose to perform. Everything else lies outside of our control, and we should focus our attention and efforts only on the first category.

Seneca wrote a series of philosophical letters to his friend Lucilius when he was nearing the end of his life. The letters were clearly meant for publication, and represent a sort of philosophical testament for posterity. I chose letter 92, ‘On the Happy Life’, because it encapsulates both the basic tenets of Stoic philosophy and some really good advice that is still valid today.

The first thing to understand about this letter is the title itself: ‘happy’ here does not have the vague modern connotation of feeling good, but is the equivalent of the Greek word eudaimonia , recently adopted also by positive psychologists, and which is best understood as a life worth living. For Seneca and the Stoics, the only life worth living is one of moral rectitude, the sort of existence we look back to at the end and can honestly say we are not ashamed of.

That said, and contrary to popular lore, the Stoics weren’t killjoys. Indeed, in his essay ‘On Tranquillity of Mind’, Seneca himself wrote:

Socrates did not blush to play with little boys, Cato used to refresh his mind with wine after he had wearied it with application to affairs of state, and Scipio would move his triumphal and soldierly limbs to the sound of music … It does good also to take walks out of doors, that our spirits may be raised and refreshed by the open air and fresh breeze: sometimes we gain strength by driving in a carriage, by travel, by change of air, or by social meals and a more generous allowance of wine: at times we ought to drink even to intoxication, not so as to drown, but merely to dip ourselves in wine: for wine washes away troubles and dislodges them from the depths of the mind, and acts as a remedy to sorrow as it does to some diseases.

Stoics are often contrasted with Epicureans, and ‘On the Happy Life’ includes passages where Seneca comments on that contrast. Epicureanism, however, should not be interpreted in the modern sense of laissez-faire hedonism ( à la sex, drugs and rock’n’roll), as it actually was a philosophy of moderation aimed mostly at avoiding pain (both physical and mental) and at enjoying the simple pleasures of life (like healthy meals and good friendship).

Both the Stoics and the Epicureans valued the practice of virtue and the pleasures of life. The difference was one of priorities: the Epicureans, for instance, withdrew from political life because it was bound to cause pain (consider the recent US elections and you might sympathise). The Stoics, by contrast, would never trade moral rectitude for either the pursuit of pleasure or the avoidance of pain.

Seneca wrote a much longer essay on the same topic of what makes for a happy life, one that includes a set of seven ‘commandments to himself’ (from book XX ‘Of a Happy Life’ ). They provide a way to philosophically structure our own lives:

I) I will look upon death or upon a comedy with the same expression of countenance.

II) I will despise riches when I have them as much as when I have them not.

III) I will view all lands as though they belong to me, and my own as though they belonged to all mankind.

IV) Whatever I may possess, I will neither hoard it greedily nor squander it recklessly.

V) I will do nothing because of public opinion, but everything because of conscience.

VI) I will be agreeable with my friends, gentle and mild to my foes: I will grant pardon before I am asked for it, and will meet the wishes of honourable men half-way.

VII) Whenever either Nature demands my breath again, or reason bids me dismiss it, I will quit this life, calling all to witness that I have loved a good conscience, and good pursuits.

Massimo Pigliucci is the K D Irani Professor of Philosophy at the City College of New York. He blogs at platofootnote.org and howtobeastoic.org . His latest book is How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life (2017).

From ‘Moral letters to Lucilius’, translated by Richard Mott Gummere With a new commentary by Massimo Pigliucci

You and I will agree, I think, that outward things are sought for the satisfaction of the body, that the body is cherished out of regard for the soul, and that in the soul there are certain parts which minister to us, enabling us to move and to sustain life, bestowed upon us just for the sake of the primary part of us. In this primary part there is something irrational, and something rational. The former obeys the latter, while the latter is the only thing that is not referred back to another, but rather refers all things to itself. For the divine reason also is set in supreme command over all things, and is itself subject to none; and even this reason which we possess is the same, because it is derived from the divine reason.

Now if we are agreed on this point, it is natural that we shall be agreed on the following also – namely, that the happy life depends upon this and this alone: our attainment of perfect reason. For it is naught but this that keeps the soul from being bowed down, that stands its ground against Fortune; whatever the condition of their affairs may be, it keeps men untroubled. And that alone is a good which is never subject to impairment. That man, I declare, is happy whom nothing makes less strong than he is; he keeps to the heights, leaning upon none but himself; for one who sustains himself by any prop may fall. If the case is otherwise, then things which do not pertain to us will begin to have great influence over us. But who desires Fortune to have the upper hand, or what sensible man prides himself upon that which is not his own?

What is the happy life? It is peace of mind, and lasting tranquillity. This will be yours if you possess greatness of soul; it will be yours if you possess the steadfastness that resolutely clings to a good judgment just reached. How does a man reach this condition? By gaining a complete view of truth, by maintaining, in all that he does, order, measure, fitness, and a will that is inoffensive and kindly, that is intent upon reason and never departs therefrom, that commands at the same time love and admiration. In short, to give you the principle in brief compass, the wise man’s soul ought to be such as would be proper for a god.

What more can one desire who possesses all honourable things? For if dishonourable things can contribute to the best estate, then there will be the possibility of a happy life under conditions which do not include an honourable life. And what is more base or foolish than to connect the good of a rational soul with things irrational?

Yet there are certain philosophers who hold that the Supreme Good admits of increase because it is hardly complete when the gifts of fortune are adverse. Even Antipater, one of the great leaders of this school, admits that he ascribes some influence to externals, though only a very slight influence. You see, however, what absurdity lies in not being content with the daylight unless it is increased by a tiny fire. What importance can a spark have in the midst of this clear sunlight?

If you are not contented with only that which is honourable, it must follow that you desire in addition either the kind of quiet which the Greeks call ‘undisturbedness’, or else pleasure. But the former may be attained in any case. For the mind is free from disturbance when it is fully free to contemplate the universe, and nothing distracts it from the contemplation of nature. The second, pleasure, is simply the good of cattle. We are but adding the irrational to the rational, the dishonourable to the honourable. A pleasant physical sensation affects this life of ours;

Why, therefore, do you hesitate to say that all is well with a man just because all is well with his appetite? And do you rate, I will not say among heroes, but among men, the person whose Supreme Good is a matter of flavours and colours and sounds? Nay, let him withdraw from the ranks of this, the noblest class of living beings, second only to the gods; let him herd with the dumb brutes – an animal whose delight is in fodder!

The irrational part of the soul is twofold: the one part is spirited, ambitious, uncontrolled; its seat is in the passions; the other is lowly, sluggish, and devoted to pleasure. Philosophers have neglected the former, which, though unbridled, is yet better, and is certainly more courageous and more worthy of a man, and have regarded the latter, which is nerveless and ignoble, as indispensable to the happy life.

They have ordered reason to serve this latter; they have made the Supreme Good of the noblest living being an abject and mean affair, and a monstrous hybrid, too, composed of various members which harmonise but ill. For as our Vergil, describing Scylla, says: ‘Above, a human face and maiden’s breast, / A beauteous breast, – below, a monster huge / Of bulk and shapeless, with a dolphin’s tail / Joined to a wolf-like belly.’ And yet to this Scylla are tacked on the forms of wild animals, dreadful and swift; but from what monstrous shapes have these wiseacres compounded wisdom!

Man’s primary art is virtue itself; there is joined to this the useless and fleeting flesh, fitted only for the reception of food, as Posidonius remarks. This divine virtue ends in foulness, and to the higher parts, which are worshipful and heavenly, there is fastened a sluggish and flabby animal. As for the second desideratum – quiet – although it would indeed not of itself be of any benefit to the soul, yet it would relieve the soul of hindrances; pleasure, on the contrary, actually destroys the soul and softens all its vigour. What elements so inharmonious as these can be found united? To that which is most vigorous is joined that which is most sluggish; to that which is austere, that which is far from serious; to that which is most holy, that which is unrestrained even to the point of impurity.

‘What, then,’ comes the retort, ‘if good health, rest, and freedom from pain are not likely to hinder virtue, shall you not seek all these?’ Of course I shall seek them, but not because they are goods – I shall seek them because they are according to nature and because they will be acquired through the exercise of good judgment on my part. What, then, will be good in them? This alone – that it is a good thing to choose them. For when I don suitable attire, or walk as I should, or dine as I ought to dine, it is not my dinner, or my walk, or my dress that are goods, but the deliberate choice which I show in regard to them, as I observe, in each thing I do, a mean that conforms with reason.

Let me also add that the choice of neat clothing is a fitting object of a man’s efforts; for man is by nature a neat and well-groomed animal. Hence the choice of neat attire, and not neat attire, in itself is a good; since the good is not in the thing selected, but in the quality of the selection. Our actions are honourable, but not the actual things which we do.

And you may assume that what I have said about dress applies also to the body. For nature has surrounded our soul with the body as with a sort of garment; the body is its cloak. But who has ever reckoned the value of clothes by the wardrobe which contained them? The scabbard does not make the sword good or bad. Therefore, with regard to the body, I shall return the same answer to you – that, if I have the choice, I shall choose health and strength, but that the good involved will be my judgment regarding these things, and not the things themselves.

Another retort is: ‘Granted that the wise man is happy; nevertheless, he does not attain the Supreme Good which we have defined, unless the means also which nature provides for its attainment are at his call. So, while one who possesses virtue cannot be unhappy, yet one cannot be perfectly happy if one lacks such natural gifts as health, or soundness of limb.’

But in saying this, you grant the alternative which seems the more difficult to believe, – that the man who is in the midst of unremitting and extreme pain is not wretched, nay, is even happy; and you deny that which is much less serious – that he is completely happy. And yet, if virtue can keep a man from being wretched, it will be an easier task for it to render him completely happy. For the difference between happiness and complete happiness is less than that between wretchedness and happiness. Can it be possible that a thing which is so powerful as to snatch a man from disaster, and place him among the happy, cannot also accomplish what remains, and render him supremely happy? Does its strength fail at the very top of the climb?

There are in life things which are advantageous and disadvantageous – both beyond our control. If a good man, in spite of being weighed down by all kinds of disadvantages, is not wretched, how is he not supremely happy, no matter if he does lack certain advantages? For as he is not weighted down to wretchedness by his burden of disadvantages, so he is not withdrawn from supreme happiness through lack of any advantages; nay, he is just as supremely happy without the advantages as he is free from wretchedness though under the load of his disadvantages. Otherwise, if his good can be impaired, it can be snatched from him altogether.

A short space above, I remarked that a tiny fire does not add to the sun’s light. For by reason of the sun’s brightness any light that shines apart from the sunlight is blotted out. ‘But,’ one may say, ‘there are certain objects that stand in the way even of the sunlight.’ The sun, however, is unimpaired even in the midst of obstacles, and, though an object may intervene and cut off our view thereof, the sun sticks to his work and goes on his course. Whenever he shines forth from amid the clouds, he is no smaller, nor less punctual either, than when he is free from clouds; since it makes a great deal of difference whether there is merely something in the way of his light or something which interferes with his shining.

Similarly, obstacles take nothing away from virtue; it is no smaller, but merely shines with less brilliancy. In our eyes, it may perhaps be less visible and less luminous than before; but as regards itself it is the same and, like the sun when he is eclipsed, is still, though in secret, putting forth its strength. Disasters, therefore, and losses, and wrongs, have only the same power over virtue that a cloud has over the sun.

We meet with one person who maintains that a wise man who has met with bodily misfortune is neither wretched nor happy. But he also is in error, for he is putting the results of chance upon a parity with the virtues, and is attributing only the same influence to things that are honourable as to things that are devoid of honour. But what is more detestable and more unworthy than to put contemptible things in the same class with things worthy of reverence! For reverence is due to justice, duty, loyalty, bravery and prudence; on the contrary, those attributes are worthless with which the most worthless men are often blessed in fuller measure – such as a sturdy leg, strong shoulders, good teeth, and healthy and solid muscles.

Again, if the wise man whose body is a trial to him shall be regarded as neither wretched nor happy, but shall be left in a sort of half-way position, his life also will be neither desirable nor undesirable. But what is so foolish as to say that the wise man’s life is not desirable? And what is so far beyond the bounds of credence as the opinion that any life is neither desirable nor undesirable? Again, if bodily ills do not make a man wretched, they consequently allow him to be happy. For things which have no power to change his condition for the worse have not the power, either, to disturb that condition when it is at its best.

‘But,’ someone will say, ‘we know what is cold and what is hot; a lukewarm temperature lies between. Similarly, A is happy, and B is wretched, and C is neither happy nor wretched.’ I wish to examine this figure, which is brought into play against us. If I add to your lukewarm water a larger quantity of cold water, the result will be cold water. But if I pour in a larger quantity of hot water, the water will finally become hot. In the case, however, of your man who is neither wretched nor happy, no matter how much I add to his troubles, he will not be unhappy, according to your argument; hence your figure offers no analogy.

Again, suppose that I set before you a man who is neither miserable nor happy. I add blindness to his misfortunes; he is not rendered unhappy. I cripple him; he is not rendered unhappy. I add afflictions which are unceasing and severe; he is not rendered unhappy. Therefore, one whose life is not changed to misery by all these ills is not dragged by them, either, from his life of happiness.

Then if, as you say, the wise man cannot fall from happiness to wretchedness, he cannot fall into non-happiness. For how, if one has begun to slip, can one stop at any particular place? That which prevents him from rolling to the bottom keeps him at the summit. Why, you urge, may not a happy life possibly be destroyed? It cannot even be disjointed; and for that reason, virtue is itself of itself sufficient for the happy life.

‘But,’ it is said, ‘is not the wise man happier if he has lived longer and has been distracted by no pain, than one who has always been compelled to grapple with evil fortune?’ Answer me now – is he any better or more honourable? If he is not, then he is not happier either. In order to live more happily, he must live more rightly; if he cannot do that, then he cannot live more happily either. Virtue cannot be strained tighter, and therefore neither can the happy life, which depends on virtue. For virtue is so great a good that it is not affected by such insignificant assaults upon it as shortness of life, pain and the various bodily vexations. For pleasure does not deserve that virtue should even glance at it.

Now what is the chief thing in virtue? It is the quality of not needing a single day beyond the present, and of not reckoning up the days that are ours; in the slightest possible moment of time, virtue completes an eternity of good. These goods seem to us incredible and transcending man’s nature; for we measure its grandeur by the standard of our own weakness, and we call our vices by the name of virtue. Furthermore, does it not seem just as incredible that any man in the midst of extreme suffering should say: ‘I am happy’? And yet this utterance was heard in the very factory of pleasure, when Epicurus said: ‘Today and one other day have been the happiest of all!’ although in the one case he was tortured by strangury, and in the other by the incurable pain of an ulcerated stomach.

Why, then, should those goods which virtue bestows be incredible in the sight of us, who cultivate virtue, when they are found even in those who acknowledge pleasure as their mistress? These also, ignoble and base-minded as they are, declare that even in the midst of excessive pain and misfortune the wise man will be neither wretched nor happy. And yet this also is incredible, – nay, still more incredible, than the other case. For I do not understand how, if virtue falls from her heights, she can help being hurled all the way to the bottom. She either must preserve one in happiness, or, if driven from this position, she will not prevent us from becoming unhappy. If virtue only stands her ground, she cannot be driven from the field; she must either conquer or be conquered.

But some say: ‘ Only to the immortal gods is given virtue and the happy life; we can attain but the shadow, as it were, and semblance of such goods as theirs. We approach them, but we never reach them.’ Reason, however, is a common attribute of both gods and men; in the gods it is already perfected, in us it is capable of being perfected.

But it is our vices that bring us to despair; for the second class of rational being, man, is of an inferior order – a guardian, as it were, who is too unstable to hold fast to what is best, his judgment still wavering and uncertain. He may require the faculties of sight and hearing, good health, a bodily exterior that is not loathsome, and, besides, greater length of days conjoined with an unimpaired constitution.

Though by means of reason he can lead a life which will not bring regrets, yet there resides in this imperfect creature, man, a certain power that makes for badness, because he possesses a mind which is easily moved to perversity. Suppose, however, the badness which is in full view, and has previously been stirred to activity, to be removed; the man is still not a good man, but he is being moulded to goodness. One, however, in whom there is lacking any quality that makes for goodness, is bad.

But ‘He in whose body virtue dwells, and spirit / E’er present’ is equal to the gods; mindful of his origin, he strives to return thither. No man does wrong in attempting to regain the heights from which he once came down. And why should you not believe that something of divinity exists in one who is a part of God? All this universe which encompasses us is one, and it is God; we are associates of God; we are his members. Our soul has capabilities, and is carried thither, if vices do not hold it down. Just as it is the nature of our bodies to stand erect and look upward to the sky, so the soul, which may reach out as far as it will, was framed by nature to this end, that it should desire equality with the gods. And if it makes use of its powers and stretches upward into its proper region it is by no alien path that it struggles toward the heights.

It would be a great task to journey heavenwards; the soul but returns thither. When once it has found the road, it boldly marches on, scornful of all things. It casts no backward glance at wealth; gold and silver – things which are fully worthy of the gloom in which they once lay – it values not by the sheen which smites the eyes of the ignorant, but by the mire of ancient days, whence our greed first detached and dug them out. The soul, I affirm, knows that riches are stored elsewhere than in men’s heaped-up treasure-houses; that it is the soul, and not the strong-box, which should be filled.

It is the soul that men may set in dominion over all things, and may install as owner of the universe, so that it may limit its riches only by the boundaries of East and West, and, like the gods, may possess all things; and that it may, with its own vast resources, look down from on high upon the wealthy, no one of whom rejoices as much in his own wealth as he resents the wealth of another.

When the soul has transported itself to this lofty height, it regards the body also, since it is a burden which must be borne, not as a thing to love, but as a thing to oversee; nor is it subservient to that over which it is set in mastery. For no man is free who is a slave to his body. Indeed, omitting all the other masters which are brought into being by excessive care for the body, the sway which the body itself exercises is captious and fastidious.

Forth from this body the soul issues, now with unruffled spirit, now with exultation, and, when once it has gone forth, asks not what shall be the end of the deserted day. No; just as we do not take thought for the clippings of the hair and the beard, even so that divine soul, when it is about to issue forth from the mortal man, regards the destination of its earthly vessel – whether it be consumed by fire, or shut in by a stone, or buried in the earth, or torn by wild beasts – as being of no more concern to itself than is the afterbirth to a child just born. And whether this body shall be cast out and plucked to pieces by birds, or devoured when ‘thrown to the sea-dogs as prey’, how does that concern him who is nothing?

Nay even when it is among the living, the soul fears nothing that may happen to the body after death; for though such things may have been threats, they were not enough to terrify the soul previous to the moment of death. It says: ‘I am not frightened by the executioner’s hook, nor by the revolting mutilation of the corpse which is exposed to the scorn of those who would witness the spectacle. I ask no man to perform the last rites for me; I entrust my remains to none. Nature has made provision that none shall go unburied. Time will lay away one whom cruelty has cast forth.’ Those were eloquent words which Maecenas uttered: ‘I want no tomb; for Nature doth provide / For outcast bodies burial.’ You would imagine that this was the saying of a man of strict principles. He was indeed a man of noble and robust native gifts, but in prosperity he impaired these gifts by laxness. Farewell.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca (‘Seneca the Younger’) was a Roman statesman, dramatist and philosopher. Moral Letters to Lucilius (64 CE), consisting of 124 essays written during the last years of his life, remains one of his best-known works, and a widely-read Stoic text.

What Is a Happy Life?

And who is the happiest living human.

Updated January 28, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• A happy life is a life that is full of hope.
• The happiest living human has the highest hope and least hunger.
• He or she has the highest personal happiness index.

To answer these two questions very directly, I shall begin with one assumption that we all can agree upon. That is this: anyone who takes his or her own life must have been unhappy with life. Though several internal and external factors might have contributed to that final decision, very central were hopelessness, dissatisfaction, and a desire to bring about immediate change.

Hopelessness (or loss of hope) is a state of belief and feeling that a better time is not possible anymore. Dissatisfaction is what ensues when one’s desires (or hunger ) become unrelenting and overwhelming. The desire for immediate change is a cry for a happier life—not just any change.

Understandably, reasonably, or logically, were there enough hope , and diminished hunger , a happier life could have been conceivable, with suicide out of consideration.

Hope seems, therefore, directly, and positively related to happiness whereas hunger has a negative association—making hope and hunger seem as the opposite sides of the same coin. This fascinating relationship between hope, hunger, and happiness can be best and most accurately expressed in a simple mathematical language—which precisely says that: Hope / Hunger = Happiness.

This equation, which I have dubbed The Triple-H Equation , is essentially implying the following:

• Happiness is best assured when hope is high, and hunger is low.
• When hope is high, it lessens the pain of hunger, and when hunger is overwhelming, it dampens the feeling of hope.
• Happiness is not possible in the absence of hope.
• No one can have a happy life when hunger is overwhelming.
• A happy life is essentially a life that is full of hope.

When we think of happiness as a feeling of joy or satisfaction, the face validity of this equation is unquestionably strong since hunger should decrease happiness while hope is naturally expected to increase happiness. Humans as “futurists” are heavily obsessed with the future and there is no better antidote for the uncertainties of tomorrow than hope —the feeling and the belief that all will be well.

Beyond the face validity of the Triple-H Equation, the literature overview and empirical analysis of Pleeging, Burger, and J. van Exel (2019) show a strong positive relationship between hope and happiness. Everett Worthington Jr. (2020) has demonstrated that more hopeful people are happier and healthier than unhappy people. Also, the Triple-H Equation is well corroborated by the Desire-Fulfillment Theory of Chris Heathwood (2014), which holds that the fulfillment of a desire (or hunger) results in happiness.

Additionally, the Human Flourishing Program findings of Harvard University, Ruut Veenhoven’s Newsletter 3(2015), and T. C. Bailey, et al. (2007) all corroborate the Triple-H Equation.

Anecdotally as well as experientially, we all know that a hopeful disposition usually makes one feel happier, and a happy feeling strengthens our hope for the future, whereas unfulfilled desires make us unhappy.

How we perceive the future greatly affects how we feel in the present. Accordingly, during a successful and flourishing life, one’s subjective feeling of well-being can precipitously drop the moment one receives news of a fatal medical diagnosis—coming from a doctor’s phone.

In conclusion, a happy life can be correctly defined as a life that is full of hope.

Practically and mathematically speaking, therefore, when the hope score of any individual is divided by his or her hunger score, an authentic happiness score called the personal happiness index (PHI) is obtained. Any man or woman, therefore, with the highest PHI could convincingly be crowned the happiest living human —for being the most hopeful and least hungry—in the world.

Happiness coaches, research psychologists, directors of human resources, chief happiness officers, happiness seekers, and advocates should find PHI very informative and practically useful.

To illustrate how PHI can be very clinically important, here is a case report:

As all practicing physicians do, it is routine in my medical clinic that the vital signs (pulse, body temperature, and blood pressure) of every patient be taken and recorded in the chart before I get to see the patient—regardless of the reasons for the visit. Unique in my clinic is that the PHI of every patient is also required. When a vital sign is abnormal—the underlying reason must be determined and attended to as a priority.

On one rainy day, as I was reviewing the chart of a 19-year-old patient, the vital signs were all normal except that her PHI was 0.127—the lowest I had ever seen. Just as I would have done in the case of a high fever or very elevated blood pressure, I sent the patient to the nearest hospital emergency room for admission—with a handwritten note to the ER lead physician—explaining the need for admission and a psychiatric , or clinical psychology consult within twenty-four hours. Despite my handwritten note followed by a telephone call, the ER physician was not impressed given the very normal blood pressure of 116/72, pulse of 78, and temperature of 98.7.

The ER physician sent the patient home against my advice, and she was given the next day's appointment at the outpatient psychiatric clinic. The patient, as I had feared, did not show up for her appointment and all subsequent phone calls by my nurse and me to the troubled teenager were unanswered. We later learned that she had taken her own life—by overdosing on a bottle full of unknown pills.

This poignant incident made me a stronger advocate for routine determination of PHI—as an authentic well-being score .

1. The Happiness Formula, Alphonsus Obayuwana (2024) [

2. Desire-Fulfillment Theory, Chris Heathwood (2014),

3. Pleeging E., Burger M., van Exel J. (2021). The relations between hope and subjective well-being: a literature overview and empirical analysis. Appl. Res. Qual. Life 16, 1019–1041.

Alphonsus Obayuwana, M.D., Ph.D. , is a physician and retired major in the US Air Force. He has been on the faculty of Johns Hopkins and Eastern Virginia Medical School. He founded the Triple-H Project and authored The Five Sources of Human Hope and The Happiness Formula.

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Essays About Life: Top 5 Examples Plus 7 Prompts

Life envelops various meanings; if you are writing essays about life, discover our comprehensive guide with examples and prompts to help you with your essay.

What is life? You can ask anyone; I assure you, no two people will have the same answer. How we define life relies on our beliefs and priorities. One can say that life is the capacity for growth or the time between birth and death. Others can share that life is the constant pursuit of purpose and fulfillment. Life is a broad topic that inspires scholars, poets, and many others. It stimulates discussions that encourage diverse perspectives and interpretations. 

5 Essay Examples

1. essay on life by anonymous on toppr.com, 2. the theme of life, existence and consciousness by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 3. compassion can save life by anonymous on papersowl.com, 4. a life of consumption vs. a life of self-realization by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 5. you only live once: a motto for life by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 1. what is the true meaning of life, 2. my life purpose, 3. what makes life special, 4. how to appreciate life, 5. books about life, 6. how to live a healthy life, 7. my idea of a perfect life.

“…quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self.”

The author defines life as something that differentiates man from inorganic matter. It’s an aspect that processes and examines a person’s actions that develop through growth. For some, life is a pain because of failures and struggles, but it’s temporary. For the writer, life’s challenges help us move forward, be strong, and live to the fullest. You can also check out these essays about utopia .

“… Kafka defines the dangers of depending on art for life. The hunger artist expresses his dissatisfaction with the world by using himself and not an external canvas to create his artwork, forcing a lack of separation between the artist and his art. Therefore, instead of the art depending on the audience, the artist depends on the audience, meaning when the audience’s appreciation for work dwindles, their appreciation for the artist diminishes as well, leading to the hunger artist’s death.”

The essay talks about “ A Hunger Artist ” by Franz Kafka, who describes his views on life through art. The author analyzes Kafka’s fictional main character and his anxieties and frustrations about life and the world. This perception shows how much he suffered as an artist and how unhappy he was. Through the essay, the writer effectively explains Kafka’s conclusion that artists’ survival should not depend on their art.

“Compassion is that feeling that we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives. When we know that there is someone that really cares for us. Compassion comes from that moment when we can see the world through another person’s eyes.”

The author is a nurse who believes that to be professional, they need to be compassionate and treat their patients with respect, empathy, and dignity. One can show compassion through small actions such as talking and listening to patients’ grievances. In conclusion, compassion can save a person’s life by accepting everyone regardless of race, gender, etc.

“… A life of self-realization is more preferable and beneficial in comparison with a life on consumption. At the same time, this statement may be objected as person’s consumption leads to his or her happiness.”

The author examines Jon Elster’s theory to find out what makes a person happy and what people should think and feel about their material belongings. The essay mentions a list of common activities that make us feel happy and satisfied, such as buying new things. The writer explains that Elster’s statement about the prevalence of self-realization in consumption will always trigger intense debate.

“Appreciate the moment you’ve been given and appreciate the people you’ve been given to spend it with, because no matter how beautiful or tragic a moment is, it always ends. So hold on a little tighter, smile a little bigger, cry a little harder, laugh a little louder, forgive a little quicker, and love a whole lot deeper because these are the moments you will remember when you’re old and wishing you could rewind time.”

This essay explains that some things and events only happen once in a person’s life. The author encourages teenagers to enjoy the little things in their life and do what they love as much as they can. When they turn into adults, they will no longer have the luxury to do whatever they want.

The author suggests doing something meaningful as a stress reliever, trusting people, refusing to give up on the things that make you happy, and dying with beautiful memories. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers .

7 Prompts for Essays About Life

Life encompasses many values and depends on one’s perception. For most, life is about reaching achievements to make themselves feel alive. Use this prompt to compile different meanings of life and provide a background on why a person defines life as they do.

Take Joseph Campbell’s, “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning, and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer,” for example. This quote pertains to his belief that an individual is responsible for giving life meaning. 

For this prompt, share with your readers your current purpose in life. It can be as simple as helping your siblings graduate or something grand, such as changing a national law to make a better world. You can ask others about their life purpose to include in your essay and give your opinion on why your answers are different or similar.

Life is a fascinating subject, as each person has a unique concept. How someone lives depends on many factors, such as opportunities, upbringing, and philosophies. All of these elements affect what we consider “special.”

Share what you think makes life special. For instance, talk about your relationships, such as your close-knit family or best friends. Write about the times when you thought life was worth living. You might also be interested in these essays about yourself .

Life in itself is a gift. However, most of us follow a routine of “wake up, work (or study), sleep, repeat.” Our constant need to survive makes us take things for granted. When we endlessly repeat a routine, life becomes mundane. For this prompt, offer tips on how to avoid a monotonous life, such as keeping a gratitude journal or traveling.

Many literary pieces use life as their subject. If you have a favorite book about life, recommend it to your readers by summarizing the content and sharing how the book influenced your outlook on life. You can suggest more than one book and explain why everyone should read them.

For example, Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” reminds its readers to live in the moment and never fear failure.

To be healthy doesn’t only pertain to our physical condition. It also refers to our mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. To live a happy and full life, individuals must strive to be healthy in all areas. For this prompt, list ways to achieve a healthy life. Section your essay and present activities to improve health, such as eating healthy foods, talking with friends, etc.

No one has a perfect life, but describe what it’ll be like if you do. Start with the material things, such as your house, clothes, etc. Then, move to how you connect with others. In your conclusion, answer whether you’re willing to exchange your current life for the “perfect life” you described and why.  See our essay writing tips to learn more!

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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The soft life: why millennials are quitting the rat race

Ambition once came with a promise: a home, a salary, progress and fulfilment. What happens when that promise is broken? Meet the women who are turning their backs on consumerism, materialism and burnout

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R ose Gardner did everything right. Straight As at school and college, a first-class degree from a top university, a master’s. She got a job in publishing and rose through the ranks of some of the industry’s most prestigious companies before getting a job with a media organisation. Eventually, she bought her own flat in London.

But each time she reached a new milestone, she didn’t feel any real joy.

“I remember walking into my flat, and this might make me sound so ungrateful, but I felt scared,” she says. “I knew I was going to have to keep working at this job that I hated to pay the mortgage.”

It wasn’t that there was anything particularly bad about the job, it was more that as time went on, she says she didn’t feel driven by the consumerism that the companies she worked for depended on. She’d lost her sense of materialism and didn’t get much from going to bars, clubs or parties. On top of that, she had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which made working in an open-plan office with a strict 9-5 policy incredibly hard. Gardner, 42, works best in isolation, early in the morning and in the evening, and she didn’t feel her workplace was prepared to accommodate that. Pushing through her afternoon “crashes” for years had become exhausting. So, five years ago, she had what she called her “Jerry Maguire moment”. She quit. She sold her flat and moved back to her parents’ house in Wiltshire, where she now works part-time in hospitality and handcrafts jewellery and ceramics from a shed in the garden. She has little income, but also very few outgoings.

“My parents are getting older and I pay them rent and my own bills. I have my own little area. We get to live a separate but together life and I see that as a privilege. I meditate and take long walks with my dog in nature … I lost my relationship with myself when I listened so much to what I should be doing. Now, I get a lot more pleasure out of the small things.”

Gardner is living what is increasingly becoming known online as the “soft life”. As a millennial, she is part of a generation brought up to take pride in hard work, who now find themselves in the midst of a cost of living crisis and the third recession of their lifetimes. As Gabrielle Judge, better known online as the Anti Work Girlboss, says: “You think your managers will take care of you? Your job will take care of you? That really crumbled for millennials, especially during the 2008 recession.”

For millennials and the younger generation Z and Alphas, who may never be able to afford to buy a home or retire at a reasonable age, there is a growing feeling online that hard work is fortifying a system that, at best, is giving them nothing back and, at worst, is actively screwing them over. And so the “soft life” revolution was born – where the priority is no longer about working yourself to the bone to be a #girlboss or “leaning in” to the corporate male world, as former Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg wrote, and pushing until you “have it all”. The goal of a softer life is more time and energy for what makes you happy and as little time as possible focusing on what doesn’t.

Judge, 26, coined the term “lazy girl job” back in 2023 on TikTok. She had graduated with a computer science degree in 2019 and got a job at a tech company. Two exhausting years later, she received a $10k a year pay increase. On the surface, it seemed great. But then she looked deeper. “Even before taxes, that’s only $5K a year for doing 60 hours of work a week,” she says. And with inflation factored in, it was technically a pay cut. “I didn’t see the payoff,” she says.

Judge was forced to take two months off after a serious concussion – and she never went back. She got an entry-level job in customer services for a website-building platform. “I was technically underemployed and wasn’t really using my degree, but I was still paying my bills and was comfortable,” says Judge, who lives in Denver, Colorado. “It was the biggest breakthrough on a spiritual level – with my friendships and relationships.” And that is where her notion of a “lazy girl job” started to form – a job that is typically low in stress, fully remote and with enough salary to pay for the bare essentials.

Judge has since built a huge audience online – with more than 400,000 followers across her various social media platforms. She has created a community of people sharing their stories of working all hours and getting little in return as mass redundancies and AI come for their jobs. She now advocates for a four-day week, living wage and prioritising health and wellbeing. “I’m not telling people exactly how much they need to be working,” she says. “I’m just trying to create more permission for whatever makes you happy.”

Abadesi Osunsade, 37, speaks to me as she power walks between her meetings. As the CEO of her company Hustle Crew, which delivers diversity and inclusion training, and co-host of the podcast Techish, she is not the most obvious proponent of the “soft life”. Yet she advocates for the same “laziness” and boundaries that Judge champions. In her 20s, she worked in tech startups, doing 12-hour days while building Hustle Crew in every spare moment. She lived in a “six-week cycle of burnout”. Now her own business is established, she has been able to introduce “softness” into her life, making time for relationships, exercise and visiting family in the Philippines. This “softer” life is a work in progress “and that’s OK,” she says. What is most important for Osunsade, is to no longer define herself by her output. “Productivity and fulfilment become conflated,” she says. “What value do you actually get from being busy? Are you cultivating enough self-love and self-awareness to enjoy downtime?” She says many of us feel guilt when not filling every hour serving some greater purpose or goal. “Why is there shame in not being busy?” she asks. “Have we been so brainwashed by capitalism that you have to be busy to be worth something?”

Osunsade views the late-capitalist approach to work as being mired in historical and cultural prejudices. “For black people, our value was as forced labourers. If you can socialise people into thinking that they are only good for what they make and what they do, the other side of that coin is that they’ll feel guilty when they’re not doing anything.”

She puts the rise in “soft living” down to the current economic and political climate – especially the Trump administration. “A lot of that naive optimism that helped movements like ‘lean in’ happen was confronted by the crushing reality of patriarchy,” she says. And telling women to just work harder to become equal with men has proved a fallacy when, 10 years on from Sandberg’s book, the gender pay gap remains at 16% in the US . As Michelle Obama put it: “it’s not always enough to lean in, because that shit doesn’t work all the time”. Especially if you have the intersectional pressures that immigrants, queer women and women of colour have, too. The soft life is a logical reaction to a macro-level business model that suppresses the wages of society’s most vulnerable.

In the US, Black women earned 30% less than white men in 2022. In the UK , that figure is 26% – and it rises to 31% for Pakistani women. This discrimination takes a toll on the body and spirit. Even high-profile figures such as MP Diane Abbott face levels of abuse that far surpass their white professional counterparts. A leaked internal Labour party report from 2020 documented how Abbott’s colleagues would mock her for crying and called her “repulsive” and “angry”. It is this additional burden that makes the soft life even more appealing to young Black women. “It’s listening to your mind and body’s needs and putting them first in a system where women are encouraged to put others’ needs before our own,” says Osunsade. The poet and feminist Audre Lorde in her book A Burst of Light set out the radical implications of self-care and womanhood, writing, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

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The soft life approach is not without its critics. In 2022, Kim Kardashian infamously claimed that women need to “get your fucking ass up and work” as “it seems like nobody wants to work these days”. She was forced to apologise – after it was pointed out that coming from a rich, already-famous family in LA would have its advantages in the job market. Not to mention that while Kardashian has become a billionaire off the back of her fashion and beauty brands, some former employees alleged that they were scraping by on unlivable wages, with barely enough money to get to work. Other figures have made “soft living” about a generational divide. Whoopi Goldberg has said that millennials and gen Z who feel that life milestones such as having children and owning houses are out of reach just aren’t working hard enough. “I’m sorry – if you only want to work four hours, it’s going to be harder for you to get a house,” she said. Jodie Foster told the Guardian that gen Z are “really annoying” to work with. “They’re like: ‘Nah, I’m not feeling it today, I’m gonna come in at 10.30am.’”

“We’re being lectured on not being hardworking enough by people who have no idea what it is like to never switch off,” says Osunsade. With Zoom and Slack keeping us connected to our workplaces at every moment, it is no longer plausible to say that you haven’t seen the emails that ping into your smartphone at the weekend. For Judge, she feels there is a “tendency online to blame all societal ills on our parents’ generations … but baby boomers aren’t stupid for doing what they did for their careers … I’m just saying it doesn’t work in today’s age.” The “return on investment” on working all hours for some kind of meritocratic ideal “just isn’t the same any more”.

No longer can you do everything society asks of you and be guaranteed to attain even the lowest totem on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, when in the US 53% of people living in homeless shelters were employed in 2021, and one in four of the households made homeless in 2022 in England had at least one person in work .

But to choose not to work, or to work less, can still be judged as a feminist betrayal. Osunsade recalls a conversation she had with an older colleague who described a bright young woman stopping working after having children as “an absolute crime. What a waste of a mind!”. “There is a sense,” she says, “that we have to have it all because people fought for us to be able to have it.” It was that idea – that a brilliant brain must be offered up on the sacrificial altar of capitalism – that made Gardner so miserable at work. As a child, “I was very much told art was a hobby and that I needed to go down the academic route, otherwise it would be a travesty … It felt as if choosing to do what I love was being lazy. I equated being successful with doing something I didn’t like.”

All around me I see overwork. Top editors who freelance at the weekends, small business owners who don’t have time to unpack the boxes in the homes they moved into three years ago, self-proclaimed cogs in corporate machines who drink Huel at their desks because they have no time to eat. Social conversations with peers vacillate between how unaffordable London, where I live, has become and symptoms of our almost perpetual burnout.

Is it possible to achieve a softer life without entirely uprooting yourself, which may not be realistic for many? For Osunsade, it’s about accepting that “people can only prioritise a small number of things. Women in particular, get into this trap of wanting to be the best mother, writer, friend, runner and yoga person in the class. We need to be happy with being the best in one or two roles and content with being mediocre in others.”

Embracing a little mediocrity is at the core of other online workplace trends, from “ quiet quitting ” (doing the minimum your job requires of you) to “ bare minimum Mondays ”. Osunsade suggests doing an “audit of priorities. Decide what your non-negotiables are. If it’s important for you to do bath time with your kids every night, then that is just a permanent block in your calendar that no one ever touches because it’s sacred. Every time you schedule a class, a walk, a beauty appointment, or buy a book, see it as a meeting that you can’t cancel.”

Gardner is now thriving in her softer life, which is filled with creativity and family. She finally feels that her life is a success. “There’s something about softness that is not valued in the corporate world or isn’t understood. It’s seen as a weakness.” But now, she says, “I see it as a strength.”

• Women (Life and style)
• Women (Society)
• Work & careers
• Gender pay gap
• Mental health

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A Solar Eclipse Means Big Science

By Katrina Miller April 1, 2024

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On April 8, cameras all over North America will make a “megamovie” of the sun’s corona, like this one from the 2017 eclipse. The time lapse will help scientists track the behavior of jets and plumes on the sun’s surface.

There’s more science happening along the path of totality →

An app named SunSketcher will help the public take pictures of the eclipse with their phones.

Scientists will use these images to study deviations in the shape of the solar surface , which will help them understand the sun’s churning behavior below.

The sun right now is approaching peak activity. More than 40 telescope stations along the eclipse’s path will record totality.

By comparing these videos to what was captured in 2017 — when the sun was at a lull — researchers can learn how the sun’s magnetism drives the solar wind, or particles that stream through the solar system.

Students will launch giant balloons equipped with cameras and sensors along the eclipse’s path.

Their measurements may improve weather forecasting , and also produce a bird’s eye view of the moon’s shadow moving across the Earth.

Ham radio operators will send signals to each other across the path of totality to study how the density of electrons in Earth’s upper atmosphere changes .

This can help quantify how space weather produced by the sun disrupts radar communication systems.

(Animation by Dr. Joseph Huba, Syntek Technologies; HamSCI Project, Dr. Nathaniel Frissell, the University of Scranton, NSF and NASA.)

NASA is also studying Earth’s atmosphere, but far from the path of totality.

In Virginia, the agency will launch rockets during the eclipse to measure how local drops in sunlight cause ripple effects hundreds of miles away . The data will clarify how eclipses and other solar events affect satellite communications, including GPS.

Biologists in San Antonio plan to stash recording devices in beehives to study how bees orient themselves using sunlight , and how the insects respond to the sudden atmospheric changes during a total eclipse.

Two researchers in southern Illinois will analyze social media posts to understand tourism patterns in remote towns , including when visitors arrive, where they come from and what they do during their visits.

Results can help bolster infrastructure to support large events in rural areas.

Read more about the eclipse:

Our Coverage of the Total Solar Eclipse

Dress for the Occasion:  What should you wear for the eclipse? Our fashion critic weighs the options , including an unexpected suggestion from scientists.

Free to View:  Six inmates in upstate New York prisons who sued the state won their lawsuit to view the eclipse , arguing it “is a religious event.” But a statewide prison lockdown during the eclipse will remain in place.

Hearing the Eclipse:  A device called LightSound is being distributed to help the blind and visually impaired experience what they can’t see .

Sky-High Hotel Prices: One Super 8 hotel in the eclipse’s path is charging $949 a night . Its normal rate is $95.

Animal Reactions : Researchers will watch if animals at zoos, homes and farms act strangely  when day quickly turns to night.

A Rare Return:  A total solar eclipse happens twice in the same place every 366 years on average. But people in certain areas will encounter April 8’s eclipse  about seven years after they were near the middle of the path of the “Great American Eclipse.”

 No Power Outages:  When the sky darkens during the eclipse, electricity production in some parts of the country will drop so sharply that it could theoretically leave tens of millions of homes in the dark. In practice, hardly anyone will notice  a sudden loss of energy.

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