personal statement hooks examples

Medical School Personal Statement Hooks (13 Examples)

Medical school personal statement hooks, although they need to be used very carefully, can certainly help bring some personality and originality to an application.

Making up the introductory paragraph of your essay that leads the reader in, they’re also very important.

But it can be hard knowing where to start when it comes to putting them together. Or understanding what works best and why.

To help, I’ve decided to put together 13 hook examples in this article.

Adding my own small critique (on what I think does or doesn’t work), maybe they can offer some guidance when it comes to deciding what to use for your own hooks.

Along with examples, here’s what else we’ll cover to help you with your hooks:

• Hook topic ideas
• What makes a good/bad hook
• Tips on how to write an effective personal statement hook

Ready to get started? Let’s go.

What is a Hook?

A hook is the opening of an essay or a general theme or topic underpinning it.

It’s important because it’s the first thing the reader will see. Therefore it provides the best opportunity for engagement.

Depending on what your prompt is, the hooks you choose can differ across applications. It’ll need to fit a small percentage of the overall word count too (usually around 5,300 characters).

Related : Medical School Diversity Essay Prompts (21 Examples)

A hook can also start from anywhere. It can be a conclusion. Or an insight.

Many applicants choose to present it as a descriptive story rather than a simple “I” statement.

As you’ll see from the following examples!

13 Medical School Personal Statement Hook Examples

To really see and understand these hooks in action, it’s important you click through to those you like and read the examples in their broader context.

The ones picked out here (except those from Reddit) are the hooks included in the general introductions of larger essays.

Examples #1 and #2: General Vs Personal Hooks

“Hope to see you again next week,” I said, while handing the drug addict a packet of syringes. u/throwawatyyyy

Ma’am is this your son?” It was a question I always got as a kid, adopted into a biracial family that was not my own. u/boopboopthesnoot

These examples, taken from Reddit, show some insight into the value of hooks.

The first one received feedback for being a little too generic (overly focused on the “I want to be a doctor because I want to help people” trope) and clunky (using the words “drug addict”).

While the second is more successful; being more personal.

Examples #3 and #4: Engaging Hooks

My story begins at the age of six. I am dressed in a tiny suit with a miniature cello, the perfect size for a doll. It is the debut of The Aloha Trio: I am on cello, and my two older sisters are on violin and flute. My mother describes it as a way of sharing our Hawaiian spirit of “aloha” with a deserving audience. I think of it as torture.

My first patient was a man in his 60’s who fell down a few stairs at the hockey complex. His foot slipped out from under him while climbing the concrete steps, and he smashed his knee and elbow in the process. As a newly certified EMT, it was the first time I was responsible for another’s health. – U.S. News

The two examples here, held up as successful by the respective adcoms reviewing them, are commended for “capturing the reader’s imagination” and showing “clear motivation” as to why they want to become a doctor.

You’ll see the second example is much more measured and matter-of-fact in tone.

Admissions teams aren’t expecting masterful writing verging on “Creative Writing 101”.

Considered and well-thought-out hooks that engage without turning off are far more appropriate!

Examples #5 and #6: Poignant Vs Comedic Hooks

“I love Scriabin!” exclaimed Logan, a 19-year-old patient at the hospital, as we found a common interest in the obscure Russian composer. I knew Logan’s story because it was so similar to my own: a classically-trained pianist, he was ready to head off to college in a month, just as I had the year before. Yet it was Logan who was heading into surgery to remove a recently-discovered brain tumor.

At the beginning of the first Alternative Spring Break (ASB) meeting that I was leading in front of a group of nervous volunteers, I used an icebreaker, Two Truths and a Lie. Being a common face at my campus’s student activities, I have played this game perhaps one too many times. Unlike everyone else who had to take time to think about their interesting truths, I would say the same thing every time. “I want to be a pediatrician, I have alpacas, and I have llamas.” I do not have llamas. – Med School Insiders

Med School Insiders hold up the first example here as better than the second (based on the greater context).

Both hooks are strong. The second one, which uses an anecdote to draw the reader in, makes effective use of humor.

Be careful that your hook helps “show” rather than “tell” your suitability for medicine.

Examples #7 and #8: Narrative Vs Direct Hooks

I made my way to Hillary’s house after hearing about her alcoholic father’s incarceration. Seeing her tearfulness and at a loss for words, I took her hand and held it, hoping to make things more bearable. She squeezed back gently in reply, “thank you.” My silent gesture seemed to confer a soundless message of comfort, encouragement and support.

I was one of those kids who always wanted to be doctor. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that go with the title, but I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion.  – BeMo

Example #7’s hook here seems to be a lot more impactful than #8’s.

The first is more personal and unique, the second a little too generic and expected.

Example #9: Inquisitive Hooks

Jeremy sobbed quietly, taking deep, shuddering breaths. He wiped his eyes on his favorite Spiderman T-shirt, the one he had been wearing hours earlier when he’d heard the news: His mother had been arrested again, and he may not see her for a very long time. What do you say to a ten-year-old child in that situation? – Transizion

This hook is a great example of capturing the reader and leaving them wanting more.

The use of the question forces the reader to be active in the story.

Your hook should always consider the reader.

Asking questions of them can be a useful way to achieve this.

Example #10: Authentic Hooks

New Orleans was hot and humid during the summer months of 2014–no surprise there. However, for a native Oregonian like me, waking up to 90-degree and 85%-humidity days initially seemed like too much to bear. That was until I reflected on the fact that my temporary discomfort was minute in contrast to the destruction of communities and emotional pounding experienced by the people of New Orleans during and after Hurricane Katrina nine years earlier. – Shemassian Consulting

This example hook has authenticity at its core, providing a tangible example of how the subject helped better the situation.

The individual doesn’t have to tell the reader they are compassionate, it’s shown by the events included in the hook itself.

As Shemassian suggests; your essay doesn’t need to have any “a-ha moment” or a sudden realization.

A slow unfurling story coupled with a descriptive, relatable hook, is often more realistic and grounded in the eyes of the reader.

Example #11 and #12: Contrarian Vs “Off-Topic” Hooks

Mary was well known at our clinic by all of our doctors, nurses, and medical staff. Based on her sharp intellect and cheerful pattern of making all of our staff feel like we were her best friends, it would be difficult to tell why she frequently visited the hospital. Outside of her use of a walker, her Parkinson’s disease diagnosis had not slowed her down much…I wanted to give her the best care possible, whether through asking our great nurses to check in on her or offering an extra blanket or favorite snack to ensure comfort throughout her stay. However, I was simultaneously frustrated that my ability to help Mary ended there. This lingering lack of fulfillment has served as a great motivator to find more ways to do more for patients like her.

My palms had never been as sweaty as when I walked on stage with my trombone in front of a 500-plus member audience on June 9 th , 2015. Sure, I was pretty good, but I would like to think that being invited to play Curtis Fuller’s  Along Came Betty  at the Omaha Black Music Hall of Fame had as much to do with the music skills I had honed over the past decade as it did with training the 8-member band of 10 to 13 year-olds from the inner city to join me on that same stage. I was nervous because this performance was for them; I needed to be at my best. – Prospective Doctor

The first hook here shows good use of contrast.

The subject is at odds with their desire to help the patient but also held back from doing so. Hooks that express contrary viewpoints like this are often very impactful.

Hook #12 is great because it’s so different. We take a break from the common themes of medicine and are transported into another world (but still one with transferrable skills and experiences), which also leads us to want to find out more (did the performance go well?)

Depending on the prompt, your hook can go down unique avenues like this.

It doesn’t always need to start with direct relevance to medicine.

Example #13

The AIDS hospice reeked from disease and neglect. On my first day there, after an hour of “training,” I met Paul, a tall, emaciated, forty-year-old AIDS victim who was recovering from a stroke that had severely affected his speech. I took him to General Hospital for a long-overdue appointment. It had been weeks since he had been outside…While elated that I had literally made Paul’s day, the neglect and emotional isolation from which he suffered disgusted me. This was a harsh side of medicine I had not seen before. Right then and there, I wondered, “Do I really want to go into medicine?” – Accepted.com

Again, this hook is an example of making a contrary point while “showing” the applicant’s relevant extracurricular experience.

In a pile of 20-30 essays, I bet this hook stands out.

Questioning if you even want to go into medicine in the introduction of a med school application is a risk. But it’s also a risk that, if expertly answered, could have a fantastic payoff.

If you’re confident you can back it up with the rest of your essay, risky hooks like this can work well.

Medical School Personal Statement Hook Topics

Coming up with ideas on what to use for your essay hook can be just as difficult as actually writing it.

Here are some popular ideas used by previous applicants that could serve as inspiration:

• Being first in your family to go to college
• Losing a loved one to suicide
• Raising a family
• Graduating early
• Growing up in poverty/experiencing homelessness
• Overcoming physical disability
• Working construction
• Military career
• Teaching career
• Polyglot/speaking multiple languages
• Running political campaigns
• Martial arts instructor
• Raising goats/chickens
• Competitive eSports athlete
• Professional musician
• Powerlifting and sports training

You can turn almost anything personal to you into a hook.

Spend some time thinking about the things you’ve done/achieved/overcome in life and make a list first (before you start writing).

The important thing is that your personal statement answers some form of the question; “ why medicine ?”

Your hook ultimately should lead into that.

Related : “ Why Do You Want To Be A Doctor?” (Reddit’s 19 Best Answers!)

Related Questions

Do personal statements need a hook.

Hooks aren’t always appropriate for personal statements. There’s no cut-and-dry rule that says you have to start with them.

For many applications, however, hooks can be very useful. Especially if you consider the admissions committee member reading through 20-40 similar-sounding essays in a single day.

In those cases, a good hook can help you grab the attention of the reader and stand out. As well as sell other aspects of yourself that aren’t always obvious or evident in your application.

Whether that actually betters your chance of getting into med school, is probably too much of a stretch to say. But it definitely could help differentiate you.

What is a good hook for a personal statement?

The best hooks are ones that are appropriate to an activity you’re introducing. The more unique they are, and the more effective at fuelling curiosity and encouraging someone to keep reading, the better.

“I’m sick and don’t know if I’ll get better.” Hearing those words is probably the most painful memory I have about my mother. And I’m reminded of it often when I talk with family at the Memorial Hospital Cancer Center.

But there is a fine line between being overly theatric and measured.

A good hook usually does one (or more) of the following:

• Avoids the cliche “I love science and helping people” opener
• Shows doesn’t tell
• Humanizes the subject
• Personal to you (doesn’t read as if it could have been written by anyone else)
• Carefully balances unique and shocking (it still needs to be an effective, serviceable essay)
• Avoids clunky langage/being tonally offensive

A good way to find out if you have a strong hook is to have it critiqued by an editor.

The examples above are just that (examples).

Without knowing the other aspects of a student’s application (or story), their value can be hard to judge!

That’s why it’s also important that the hook you use ties into both the body of your essay and its final paragraph.

What is a bad hook?

A bad hook is usually contrived. It might feature a run-of-the-mill quote or smack of unoriginality. Or tries to define something rather obvious.

An example of a bad hook could be something like:

The definition of medicine has gone through as many changes as the human race. Straddling the worlds of both art and science, it continues to remain unconfined to the boundaries of language.

This is both general (lacks any sense of personality) and empty.

Bad hooks for personal statements miss emotive marks and say little about the person writing them.

Or they over-dramatize the mundane, possibly differentiating you in a negative way.

Why are personal statement hooks so hard to write?

The big reason why hooks are so difficult to write is because of the pressure. They are the opening lines of a statement that’s meant to distill your entire ethos and philosophy for studying medicine into a few short paragraphs. And also summarize countless hours of extracurricular prep and everything else.

But another key reason is that you’re simply not used to crafting them.

Because of that, supposed “good” hooks can sometimes look cliched and cringe-inducing.

Your general lack of experience makes it hard to tell good ones from the bad.

How do you write a personal statement hook for medical school?

Now we’ve explored the example hooks and spent some time in discussion over what could make them good/bad, here are some general tips on how to go about writing them:

• Start by listing down all the possible ideas you could use for hooks (use the topic ideas to help)
• Choose the top 3-5 ideas and start turning them into short introductory paragraphs (use the examples as models)
• Get feedback by running them past other applicants/successful med students
• Go with the hook that you feel best suits the potential body of the essay

Starting with hooks is probably the best way to begin framing your essay as a whole.

Just getting in the practice of coming up with several ideas is great for overcoming any resistance to writing and helping you gain the confidence in believing you can create something great.

As a quick reminder, here are some of the top do’s/don’ts to keep in mind as you move through this process

• Do match the hook to the prompt (don’t make it seem random or off-topic)
• Don’t feel that the hook has to be the starting sentence only (it can be 2-3 sentences or an entire opening paragraph)
• Do “show”, don’t “tell”
• Do road test your hooks with friends/family
• Don’t include controversial topics
• Don’t be overly flowery (it’s a pointed essay, not a meandering novel)
• Don’t make it a sob story
• Don’t include patient names
• Don’t be repetitive
• Don’t include anything you wouldn’t want to talk about in an interview
• Don’t speak negatively (of yourself or others)
• Don’t use medical jargon
• Don’t use acronyms without writing them out first

Ready to start coming up with some hooks?

Born and raised in the UK, Will went into medicine late (31) after a career in journalism. He’s into football (soccer), learned Spanish after 5 years in Spain, and has had his work published all over the web. Read more .

• Medical School Application

Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got 6 Acceptances

Featured Admissions Expert: Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

These 30 exemplary medical school personal statement examples come from our students who enrolled in one of our application review programs. Most of these examples led to multiple acceptance for our students. For instance, the first example got our student accepted into SIX medical schools. Here's what you'll find in this article: We'll first go over 30 medical school personal statement samples, then we'll provide you a step-by-step guide for composing your own outstanding statement from scratch. If you follow this strategy, you're going to have a stellar statement whether you apply to the most competitive or the easiest medical schools to get into .

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free strategy call here . <<

Listen to the blog!

Article Contents 36 min read

Stellar medical school personal statement examples that got multiple acceptances, medical school personal statement example #1.

I made my way to Hillary’s house after hearing about her alcoholic father’s incarceration. Seeing her tearfulness and at a loss for words, I took her hand and held it, hoping to make things more bearable. She squeezed back gently in reply, “thank you.” My silent gesture seemed to confer a soundless message of comfort, encouragement and support.

Through mentoring, I have developed meaningful relationships with individuals of all ages, including seven-year-old Hillary. Many of my mentees come from disadvantaged backgrounds; working with them has challenged me to become more understanding and compassionate. Although Hillary was not able to control her father’s alcoholism and I had no immediate solution to her problems, I felt truly fortunate to be able to comfort her with my presence. Though not always tangible, my small victories, such as the support I offered Hillary, hold great personal meaning. Similarly, medicine encompasses more than an understanding of tangible entities such as the science of disease and treatment—to be an excellent physician requires empathy, dedication, curiosity and love of problem solving. These are skills I have developed through my experiences both teaching and shadowing inspiring physicians.

Medicine encompasses more than hard science. My experience as a teaching assistant nurtured my passion for medicine; I found that helping students required more than knowledge of organic chemistry. Rather, I was only able to address their difficulties when I sought out their underlying fears and feelings. One student, Azra, struggled despite regularly attending office hours. She approached me, asking for help. As we worked together, I noticed that her frustration stemmed from how intimidated she was by problems. I helped her by listening to her as a fellow student and normalizing her struggles. “I remember doing badly on my first organic chem test, despite studying really hard,” I said to Azra while working on a problem. “Really? You’re a TA, shouldn’t you be perfect?” I looked up and explained that I had improved my grades through hard work. I could tell she instantly felt more hopeful, she said, “If you could do it, then I can too!” When she passed, receiving a B+;I felt as if I had passed too. That B+ meant so much: it was a tangible result of Azra’s hard work, but it was also symbol of our dedication to one another and the bond we forged working together.

My passion for teaching others and sharing knowledge emanates from my curiosity and love for learning. My shadowing experiences in particular have stimulated my curiosity and desire to learn more about the world around me. How does platelet rich plasma stimulate tissue growth? How does diabetes affect the proximal convoluted tubule? My questions never stopped. I wanted to know everything and it felt very satisfying to apply my knowledge to clinical problems.

Shadowing physicians further taught me that medicine not only fuels my curiosity; it also challenges my problem solving skills. I enjoy the connections found in medicine, how things learned in one area can aid in coming up with a solution in another. For instance, while shadowing Dr. Steel I was asked, “What causes varicose veins and what are the complications?” I thought to myself, what could it be? I knew that veins have valves and thought back to my shadowing experience with Dr. Smith in the operating room. She had amputated a patient’s foot due to ulcers obstructing the venous circulation. I replied, “veins have valves and valve problems could lead to ulcers.” Dr. Steel smiled, “you’re right, but it doesn’t end there!” Medicine is not disconnected; it is not about interventional cardiology or orthopedic surgery. In fact, medicine is intertwined and collaborative. The ability to gather knowledge from many specialties and put seemingly distinct concepts together to form a coherent picture truly attracts me to medicine.

It is hard to separate science from medicine; in fact, medicine is science. However, medicine is also about people—their feelings, struggles and concerns. Humans are not pre-programmed robots that all face the same problems. Humans deserve sensitive and understanding physicians. Humans deserve doctors who are infinitely curious, constantly questioning new advents in medicine. They deserve someone who loves the challenge of problem solving and coming up with innovative individualized solutions. I want to be that physician. I want to be able to approach each case as a unique entity and incorporate my strengths into providing personalized care for my patients. Until that time, I may be found Friday mornings in the operating room, peering over shoulders, dreaming about the day I get to hold the drill.

Let's take a step back to consider what this medical school personal statement example does, not just what it says. It begins with an engaging hook in the first paragraph and ends with a compelling conclusion. The introduction draws you in, making the essay almost impossible to put down, while the conclusion paints a picture of someone who is both passionate and dedicated to the profession. In between the introduction and conclusion, this student makes excellent use of personal narrative. The anecdotes chosen demonstrate this individual's response to the common question, " Why do you want to be a doctor ?" while simultaneously making them come across as compassionate, curious, and reflective. The essay articulates a number of key qualities and competencies, which go far beyond the common trope, I want to be a doctor because I want to help people.

This person is clearly a talented writer, but this was the result of several rounds of edits with one of our medical school admissions consulting team members and a lot of hard work on the student's part. If your essay is not quite there yet, or if you're just getting started, don't sweat it. Do take note that writing a good personal essay takes advanced planning and significant effort.

I was one of those kids who always wanted to be doctor. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that go with the title, but I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion. As a child, visits to the pediatrician were important events. I’d attend to my hair and clothes, and travel to the appointment in anticipation. I loved the interaction with my doctor. I loved that whoever I was in the larger world, I could enter the safe space of the doctor’s office, and for a moment my concerns were heard and evaluated. I listened as my mother communicated with the doctor. I’d be asked questions, respectfully examined, treatments and options would be weighed, and we would be on our way. My mother had been supported in her efforts to raise a well child, and I’d had a meaningful interaction with an adult who cared for my body and development. I understood medicine as an act of service, which aligned with my values, and became a dream.

I was hospitalized for several months as a teenager and was inspired by the experience, despite the illness. In the time of diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I met truly sick children. Children who were much more ill than me. Children who wouldn’t recover. We shared a four-bed room, and we shared our medical stories. Because of the old hospital building, there was little privacy in our room, and we couldn’t help but listen-in during rounds, learning the medical details, becoming “experts” in our four distinct cases. I had more mobility than some of the patients, and when the medical team and family members were unavailable, I’d run simple errands for my roommates, liaise informally with staff, and attend to needs. To bring physical relief, a cold compress, a warmed blanket, a message to a nurse, filled me with such an intense joy and sense of purpose that I applied for a volunteer position at the hospital even before my release.

I have since been volunteering in emergency departments, out-patient clinics, and long term care facilities. While the depth of human suffering is at times shocking and the iterations of illness astounding, it is in the long-term care facility that I had the most meaningful experiences by virtue of my responsibilities and the nature of the patients’ illnesses. Charles was 55 when he died. He had early onset Parkinson’s Disease with dementia that revealed itself with a small tremor when he was in his late twenties. Charles had a wife and three daughters who visited regularly, but whom he didn’t often remember. Over four years as a volunteer, my role with the family was to fill in the spaces left by Charles’ periodic inability to project his voice as well as his growing cognitive lapses. I would tell the family of his activities between their visits, and I would remind him of their visits and their news. This was a hard experience for me. I watched as 3 daughters, around my own age, incrementally lost their father. I became angry, and then I grew even more determined.

In the summer of third year of my Health Sciences degree, I was chosen to participate in an undergraduate research fellowship in biomedical research at my university. As part of this experience, I worked alongside graduate students, postdoctoral fellows, medical students, physicians, and faculty in Alzheimer’s research into biomarkers that might predict future disease. We collaborated in teams, and by way of the principal investigator’s careful leadership, I learned wherever one falls in terms of rank, each contribution is vital to the outcome. None of the work is in isolation. For instance, I was closely mentored by Will, a graduate student who had been in my role the previous summer. He, in turn, collaborated with post docs and medical students, turning to faculty when roadblocks were met. While one person’s knowledge and skill may be deeper than another’s, individual efforts make up the whole. Working in this team, aside from developing research skills, I realized that practicing medicine is not an individual pursuit, but a collaborative commitment to excellence in scholarship and leadership, which all begins with mentorship.

Building on this experience with teamwork in the lab, I participated in a global health initiative in Nepal for four months, where I worked alongside nurses, doctors, and translators. I worked in mobile rural health camps that offered tuberculosis care, monitored the health and development of babies and children under 5, and tended to minor injuries. We worked 11-hour days helping hundreds of people in the 3 days we spent in each location. Patients would already be in line before we woke each morning. I spent each day recording basic demographic information, blood pressure, pulse, temperature, weight, height, as well as random blood sugar levels, for each patient, before they lined up to see a doctor. Each day was exhausting and satisfying. We helped so many people. But this satisfaction was quickly displaced by a developing understanding of issues in health equity.

My desire to be doctor as a young person was not misguided, but simply naïve. I’ve since learned the role of empathy and compassion through my experiences as a patient and volunteer. I’ve broadened my contextual understanding of medicine in the lab and in Nepal. My purpose hasn’t changed, but what has developed is my understanding that to be a physician is to help people live healthy, dignified lives by practicing both medicine and social justice.

28 More Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got Accepted

What my sister went through pushed me to strengthen my knowledge in medical education, patient care, and research. These events have influenced who I am today and helped me determine my own passions. I aspire to be a doctor because I want to make miracles, like my sister, happen. Life is something to cherish; it would not be the same if I did not have one of my four sisters to spend it with. As all stories have endings, I hope that mine ends with me fulfilling my dream of being a doctor, which has been the sole focus of my life to this point. I would love nothing more than to dedicate myself to such a rewarding career, where I achieve what those doctors did for my family. Their expertise allowed my sister to get all the care she needed for her heart, eyes, lungs, and overall growth. Those physicians gave me more than just my little sister, they gave me the determination and focus needed to succeed in the medical field, and for that, I am forever grateful. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #3","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #3"}]" code="tab4" template="BlogArticle">

I came to America, leaving my parents and friends behind, to grasp my chance at a better future. I believe this chance is now in front of me. Medicine is the only path I truly desire because it satisfies my curiosity about the human body and it allows me to directly interact with patients. I do not want to miss this chance to further hone my skills and knowledge, in order to provide better care for my patients. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement #4","title":"Medical School Personal Statement #4"}]" code="tab5" template="BlogArticle">

The time I have spent in various medical settings has confirmed my love for the field. Regardless of the environment, I am drawn to patients and their stories, like that scared young boy at AMC. I am aware that medicine is a constantly changing landscape; however, one thing that has remained steadfast over the years is putting the patient first, and I plan on doing this as a physician. All of my experiences have taught me a great deal about patient interaction and global health, however, I am left wanting more. I crave more knowledge to help patients and become more useful in the healthcare sector. I am certain medical school is the path that will help me reach my goal. One day, I hope to use my experiences to become an amazing doctor like the doctors that treated my sister, so I can help other children like her. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #5","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #5"}]" code="tab6" template="BlogArticle">

My interest in the field of medicine has developed overtime, with a common theme surrounding the importance of personal health and wellness. Through my journey in sports, travelling, and meeting some incredible individuals such as Michael, I have shifted my focus from thinking solely about the physical well-being, to understanding the importance of mental, spiritual, and social health as well. Being part of a profession that emphasizes continuous education, and application of knowledge to help people is very rewarding, and I will bring compassion, a hard work ethic and an attitude that is always focused on bettering patient outcomes. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example # 7","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example # 7"}]" code="tab8" template="BlogArticle">

Medicine embodies a hard science, but it is ultimately a profession that treats people. I have seen firsthand that medicine is not a \u201cone-treatment-fits-all\u201d practice, as an effective physician takes a holistic approach. This is the type of physician I aspire to be: one who refuses to shy away from the humanity of patients and their social context, and one who uses research and innovation to improve the human condition. So, when I rethink \u201cwhy medicine?\u201d, I know it\u2019s for me \u2013 because it is a holistic discipline, because it demands all of me, because I am ready to absorb the fascinating knowledge and science that dictates human life, and engage with humanity in a way no other profession allows for. Until the day that I dawn the coveted white coat, you can find me in inpatient units, comforting the many John\u2019s to come, or perhaps at the back of an operating room observing a mitral valve repair \u2013 dreaming of the day the puck is in my zone. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #8","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #8"}]" code="tab9" template="BlogArticle">

When I signed up to be a live DJ, I didn't know that the oral skills I practiced on-air would influence all aspects of my life, let alone lead me to consider a career in the art of healing. I see now, though, the importance of these key events in my life that have allowed me to develop excellent communication skills--whether that be empathic listening, reading and giving non-verbal cues, or verbal communication. I realize I have always been on a path towards medicine. Ultimately, I aim to continue to strengthen my skills as I establish my role as a medical student and leader: trusting my choices, effectively communicating, and taking action for people in need. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #9","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #9"}]" code="tab10" template="BlogArticle">

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t I pursue medicine sooner?\u201d Is the question that now occupies my mind. Leila made me aware of the unprofessional treatment delivered by some doctors. My subsequent activities confirmed my desire to become a doctor who cares deeply for his patients and provides the highest quality care. My passion for research fuels my scientific curiosity. I will continue to advocate for patient equality and fairness. Combining these qualities will allow me to succeed as a physician. ","label":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #10","title":"Medical School Personal Statement Example #10"}]" code="tab11" template="BlogArticle">

Medical school personal statement example: #11

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Please note that all personal statements are the property of the students who wrote them, re-printed with permission. Names and identifying characteristics have been changed. Plagiarism detection software is used when evaluating personal statements. Plagiarism is grounds for disqualification from the application. ","label":"NOTE","title":"NOTE"}]" code="tab2" template="BlogArticle">

As one of the most important  medical school requirements , the personal statement tells your story of why you decided to pursue the medical profession. Keep in mind that personal statements are one of the key factors that affect medical school acceptance rates . This is why it's important to write a stellar essay!

“Personal statements are often emphasized in your application to medical school as this singular crucial factor that distinguishes you from every other applicant. Demonstrating the uniqueness of my qualities is precisely how I found myself getting multiple interviews and offers into medical school.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

But this is easier said than done. In fact, medical school personal statements remain one of the most challenging parts of students' journeys to medical school. Here's our student Melissa sharing her experience of working on her personal statement:

"I struggled making my personal statement personal... I couldn't incorporate my feelings, motives and life stories that inspired me to pursue medicine into my personal statement" -Melissa, BeMo Student

Our student Rishi, who is now a student at the Carver College of Medicine , learned about the importance of the medical school personal statement the hard way:

"If you're a reapplicant like me, you know we all dread it but you have to get ready to answer what has changed about your application that we should accept you this time. I had an existing personal statement that did not get me in the first time so there was definitely work to be done." - Rishi, BeMo Student

The importance of the medical school personal statement can actually increase if you are applying to medical school with any red flags or setbacks, as our student Kannan did:

"I got 511 on my second MCAT try... My goal was anything over median of 510 so anything over that was honestly good with me because it's just about [creating] a good personal statement at that point... I read online about how important the personal statement [is]... making sure [it's] really polished and so that's when I decided to get some professional help." - Kannan, BeMo Student

As you can see from these testimonials, your medical school personal statement can really make a difference. So we are here to help you get started writing your own personal statement. Let's approach this step-by-step. Below you will see how we will outline the steps to creating your very best personal statement. And don't forget that if you need to see more examples, you can also check out our AMCAS personal statement examples, AACOMAS personal statement examples and TMDSAS personal statement examples to further inspire you!

Here's a quick run-down of what we'll cover in the article:

Now let's dive in deeper!

#1 Understanding the Qualities of a Strong Med School Personal Statement

Before discussing how to write a strong medical school personal statement, we first need to understand the qualities of a strong essay. Similar to crafting strong medical school secondary essays , writing a strong personal statement is a challenging, yet extremely important, part of your MD or MD-PhD programs applications. Your AMCAS Work and Activities section may show the reader what you have done, but the personal statement explains why. This is how Dr. Neel Mistry, MD and our admissions expert, prepared for his medical school personal statement writing:

"The personal statement is an opportunity for you to shine and really impress the committee to invite you for an interview. The personal statement is your chance to be reflective and go beyond what is stated on your CV and [activities]. In order to stand out, it is important to answer the main questions [of medical school personal statements] well: a bit about yourself and what led you to medicine, why you would make an ideal medical student and future physician, what attracts you to [medicine], and what sets you apart from the other candidates. The key here is answering the last two questions well. Most candidates simply highlight what they have done, but do not reflect on it or mention how what they have done has prepared them for a future medical career." - Dr. Neel Mistry, MD

“my essay also focused on volunteering in the local health clinic during the many summer breaks. volunteering was more than just another activity to tick off my bucket list for my medical school … i volunteered because i wanted to view medical practice through the lenses of already qualified doctors, not because i needed a reason to be a doctor. i understood that the admissions committee would be more interested in how i was motivated.” – dr. vincent adeyemi, md.

A personal statement should be deeply personal, giving the admissions committee insight into your passions and your ultimate decision to pursue a career in medicine. A compelling and introspective personal statement can make the difference between getting an interview and facing medical school rejection . Review our blogs to find out how to prepare for med school interviews and learn the most common medical school interview questions .

As you contemplate the task in front of you, you may be wondering what composing an essay has to do with entering the field of medicine. Many of our students were surprised to learn that medical school personal statements are so valued by med schools. The two things are more closely related than you think. A compelling personal statement demonstrates your written communication skills and highlights your accomplishments, passions, and aspirations. The ability to communicate a complex idea in a short space is an important skill as a physician. You should demonstrate your communication skills by writing a concise and meaningful statement that illustrates your best attributes. Leaving a lasting impression on your reader is what will lead to interview invitations.

A quick note: if you are applying to schools that do not require the formal medical school personal statement, such as medical schools in Canada , you should still learn how to write such essays. Many medical schools in Ontario , for example, ask for short essays for supplementary questionnaires. These are very similar to the personal statement. Knowing how to brainstorm, write, and format your answers is key to your success!!!

You want to give yourself as much time as possible to write your statement. Do not think you can do this in an evening or even in a week. Some statements take months. My best statement took almost a year to get right. Allow yourself time and start early to avoid added stress. Think of the ideas you want to include and brainstorm possible ways to highlight these ideas. Ask your friends for ideas or even brainstorm your ideas with people you trust. Get some feedback early to make sure you are headed in the right direction.

“I wrote scores of essays at my desk in those few weeks leading up to application submission. I needed it to be perfect. Do not let anyone tell you to settle. There was no moment when I had this shining light from the sky filtering into my room to motivate me. The ultimate trick is to keep writing. It is impossible to get that perfect essay on the first try, and you may not even get it on your fifteenth attempt, but the goal is to keep at it, keep making those edits, and never back down.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

All personal statements for medical school, often start by explaining why medicine is awesome; the admission committee already knows that. You should explain why you want a career in medicine. What is it about the practice of medicine that resonates with who you are? Naturally, this takes a lot of reflection around who you are. Here are some additional questions you can consider as you go about brainstorming for your essay:

• What motivates you to learn more about medicine?
• What is something you want them to know about you that isn't in your application?
• Where were you born, how did you grow up, and what type of childhood did you have growing up (perhaps including interesting stories about your siblings, parents, grandparents)?
• What kinds of early exposure to the medical field left an impression on you as a child?
• Did you become familiar with and interested in the field of medicine at an early stage of your life? If so, why?
• What are your key strengths, and how have you developed these?
• What steps did you take to familiarize yourself with the medical profession?
• Did you shadow a physician? Did you volunteer or work in a clinical setting? Did you get involved in medical research?
• What challenges have you faced? Have these made an impact on what you chose to study?
• What are your favorite activities?
• What kinds of extracurriculars for medical school or volunteer work have you done, and how have these shaped who you are, your priorities, and or your perspectives on a career in medicine?
• What was your "Aha!" moment?
• When did your desire to become a doctor solidify?
• How did you make the decision to apply to medical school?

You shouldn't try to answer all of these in your essay. Try only a few main points that will carry over into the final draft. Use these to brainstorm and gather ideas. Start developing your narrative by prioritizing the most impactful responses to these prompts and the ideas that are most relevant to your own experiences and goals. The perfect personal statement not only shows the admissions committee that you have refined communication skills, but also conveys maturity and professionalism. It should also display your motivation and suitability for medical practice. Here's how our student Alison, who was a non-traditional applicant with a serious red flag in her application, used her brainstorming sessions with our admissions experts to get a theme going in her medical school personal statement and her overall application package:

"I think it was during my brainstorming session that we really started talking about... what the theme [was] going to be for my application. And I think that was really helpful in and of itself. Just [reflecting] 'Hey, what's your focus going to be like? How are we going to write this? What's the style going to be?' Just to create an element of consistency throughout..." Alison, BeMo Student, current student at Dell Medical School 

After brainstorming, you should be able to clearly see a few key ideas, skills, qualities, and intersections that you want to write about. Once you've isolated the elements you want to explore in your essay (usually 2-4 key ideas), you can begin building your outline. In terms of structure, this should follow the standard academic format, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

As you begin thinking about what to include in your personal essay, remember that you are writing for a specific audience with specific expectations. Your evaluator will be familiar with the key qualities desired by medical schools, as informed by the standards of the profession. But keep in mind that they too are human, and they respond well to well-crafted, engaging essays that tell a story. Here's what our student Alison had to share about keeping your audience in mind when writing your personal statement:

"Make it easy for the reader to be able to work [their] way through [your personal statement]. Because, at the end of the day, I think one thing that helped me a lot was being able to think about who was going to be reading this application and it's going to be these people that are sitting around a desk or sitting at a table and [go] through massive numbers of applications every single day. And the easier and more digestible that you can make it for them, gives you a little bit of a win." - Alison, BeMo student, current student at Dell Medical School

The admissions committee will be examining your essay through the lens of their particular school's mission, values, and priorities. You should think about your experiences with reference to the AAMC Core Competencies and to each school's mission statement so that you're working toward your narrative with the institution and broader discipline in mind.

Review AAMC Core Competencies : The AAMC Core Competencies are the key characteristics and skills sought by U.S. medical schools. These are separated into three general categories:

You are not expected to have mastered all of these competencies at this stage of your education. Display those that are relevant to your experiences will help demonstrate your commitment to the medical profession.

Review the school's mission statement: Educational institutions put a lot of time and care into drafting their school's vision. The mission statement will articulate the overall values and priorities of each university, giving you insight into what they might seek in candidates, and thus what you should try to display in your personal statement. Echoing the values of the university helps illustrate that you are a good fit for their intellectual culture. The mission statement may help you identify other priorities of the university, for example, whether they prioritize research-based or experiential-based education. All this research into your chosen medical schools will help you tremendously not only when you write you personal statement, but also the rest of your medical school application components, including your medical school letter of intent if you ever need to write one later.

Just like the personal statement is, in essence, a prompt without a prompt. They give you free rein to write your own prompt to tell your story. This is often difficult for students as they find it hard to get started without having a true direction. Below is a list of ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Use these prompts as a starting point for your essay. Also, they are a great way of addressing why you want to be a doctor without saying something generic.

• The moment your passion for medicine crystallized
• The events that led you toward this path
• Specific instances in which you experienced opportunities
• Challenges that helped shape your worldview
• Your compassion, resilience, or enthusiastic collaboration
• Demonstrate your commitment to others
• Your dependability
• Your leadership skills
• Your ability to problem-solve or to resolve a conflict

These are personal, impactful experiences that only you have had. Focus on the personal, and connect that to the values of your future profession. Do that and you will avoid writing the same essay as everyone else. Dr. Monica Taneja, MD and our admissions expert, shares her tip that got her accepted to the University of Maryland School of Medicine :

"I focused on my journey to medicine and opportunities that I sought out along the way. Everyone’s path and validation is unique, so walking the reader through your growth to the point of application will naturally be different, but that's what I wanted to share in my personal statement." - Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

“the essay is not about what you have been through; it's about who it made you into.” – dr. vincent adeyemi, md.

Admissions committees don't want your resumé in narrative form. The most boring essays are those of applicants listing their accomplishments. Remember, all that stuff is already in the activities section of the application. This is where you should discuss interesting or important life events that shaped you and your interest in medicine (a service trip to rural Guatemala, a death in the family, a personal experience as a patient). One suggestion is to have an overarching theme to your essay to tie everything together, starting with an anecdote. Alternatively, you can use one big metaphor or analogy through the essay. Dr. Jaime Cazes, MD and experienced admissions committee member of the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine, encourages you to be creative when it comes to the theme of your personal statement:

"It is very easy to make the “cookie cutter” personal statement. To a reviewer who is reading tens of these at a time it can become quite boring. What I did was [tell] a story. Like any good novel, the stories' first lines are meant to hook the reader. This can be about anything if you can bring it back and relate it to your application. It could be about the time your friend was smashed up against the boards in hockey and you, with your limited first aid experience helped to treat him. It is important that the story be REAL." - Dr. Jaime Cazes, MD, University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine

Your personal statement must be well-organized, showing a clear, logical progression, as well as connections between ideas. It is generally best to use a chronological progression since this mirrors your progression into a mature adult and gives you the opportunity to illustrate how you learned from early mistakes later on. Carry the theme throughout the statement to achieve continuity and cohesion. Use the theme to links ideas from each paragraph to the next and to unite your piece.

Medical School Personal Statement Structure

When working toward the initial draft of your essay, it is important to keep the following in mind: The essay should read like a chronological narrative and have good structure and flow. Just like any academic essay, it will need an introduction, body content, and a conclusion. If you're wondering whether a medical school advisor can help you with your medical school application, check out our blog for the answer.

Check out our video to learn how to create a killer introduction to your medical school personal statement:

Introduction

The introductory paragraph and, even more importantly, the introductory sentence of your essay, will most certainly make or break your overall statement. Ensure that you have a creative and captivating opening sentence that draws the reader in. This is your first and only chance to make a first impression and really capture the attention of the committee. Starting with an event or an Aha! moment that inspired your decision to pursue a medical profession is one way to grab their attention. The kinds of things that inspire or motivate you can say a lot about who you are as a person.

The broader introductory paragraph itself should serve several functions. First, it must draw your reader in with an eye-catching first line and an engaging hook or anecdote. It should point toward the qualities that most effectively demonstrate your desire and suitability for becoming a physician (you will discuss these qualities further in the body paragraphs). The thesis of the introduction is that you have certain skills, experiences, and characteristics and that these skills, experiences, and characteristics will lead you to thrive in the field of medicine. Finally, it must also serve as a roadmap to the reader, allowing them to understand where the remainder of the story is headed.

That is a lot of work for a single paragraph to do. To better help you envision what this looks like in practice, here is a sample introduction that hits these main points.

I was convinced I was going to grow up to be a professional chef. This was not just another far-fetched idealistic childhood dream that many of us had growing up. There was a sense of certainty about this dream that motivated me to devote countless hours to its practice. It was mostly the wonder that it brought to others and the way they were left in awe after they tried a dish that I recall enjoying the most creating as a young chef. But, when I was 13, my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, and I realized that sometimes cooking is not enough, as I quickly learned about the vital role physicians play in the life of everyday people like my family and myself. Although my grandfather ended up passing away from his illness, the impact that the healthcare team had on him, my family, and I will always serve as the initial starting point of my fascination with the medical profession. Since that time, I have spent years learning more about the human sciences through my undergraduate studies and research, have developed a deeper understanding of the demands and challenges of the medical profession through my various volunteer and extra-curricular experiences, and although it has been difficult along the way, I have continued to forge a more intimate fascination with the medical field that has motivated me to apply to medical school at this juncture of my life. ","label":"Sample Introduction","title":"Sample Introduction"}]" code="tab3" template="BlogArticle">

In the body of your essay, you essentially want to elaborate on the ideas that you have introduced in your opening paragraph by drawing on your personal experiences to provide evidence. Major points from the above sample introduction could be: dedication and resilience (practicing cooking for hours, and devoting years to undergraduate studies in human sciences), passion and emotional connection (being able to create something that inspired awe in others, and personally connecting with the work of the grandfather's healthcare team), motivation and drive (being inspired by the role physicians play in their patients' lives, participating in volunteer work and extracurriculars, and an enduring fascination with the field of medicine). Depending on the details, a selection of volunteer and extra-curricular experiences might also be discussed in more detail, in order to emphasize other traits like collaboration, teamwork, perseverance, or a sense of social responsibility – all key characteristics sought by medical schools. Just like an academic essay, you will devote one paragraph to each major point, explaining this in detail, supporting your claims with experiences from your life, and reflecting on the meaning of each plot point in your personal narrative, with reference to why you want to pursue a medical career.

Your final statement should not be a simple summary of the things you have discussed. It should be insightful, captivating, and leave the reader with a lasting impression. Although you want to re-emphasize the major ideas of your essay, you should try to be creative and captivating, much like your opening paragraph. Sometimes if you can link your opening idea to your last paragraph it will really tie the whole essay together. The conclusion is just as important as the introduction. It is your last chance to express your medical aspirations. You want to impress the reader while also leaving them wanting more. In this case, more would mean getting an interview so they can learn more about who you are! Leave them thinking I have got to meet this person.

The narrative you construct should display some of your most tightly held values, principles, or ethical positions, along with key accomplishments and activities. If you see yourself as someone who is committed to community service, and you have a track record of such service, your story should feature this and provide insight into why you care about your community and what you learned from your experiences. Saying that you value community service when you've never volunteered a day in your life is pointless. Stating that your family is one where we support each other through challenge and loss (if this is indeed true), is excellent because it lays the groundwork for telling a story while showing that you are orientated towards close relationships. You would then go on to offer a brief anecdote that supports this. You are showing how you live such principles, rather than just telling your reader that you have such principles:

"Remember to use specific personal examples throughout your statement to make it more impactful and memorable for the readers. Often, painting a picture in the reader’s mind in the form of a story helps with this." - Dr. Neel Mistry, MD

A lot of students make the mistake of verbalizing their personal attributes with a bunch of adjectives, such as, "This experience taught me to be a self-reliant leader, with excellent communication skills, and empathy for others..." In reality, this does nothing to convey these qualities. It's a mistake to simply list your skills or characteristics without showing the reader an example of a time you used them to solve a problem. If you simply list your skills or characteristics (telling), without demonstrating the ways you have applied them (showing), you risk coming across as arrogant. The person reading the essay may not believe you, as you've not really given them a way to see such values in your actions. It is better to construct a narrative to show the reader that you possess the traits that medical schools are looking for, rather than explicitly stating that you are an empathetic individual or capable of deep self-reflection. Instead of listing adjectives, tell your personal story and allow the admissions committee to paint the picture for themselves. This step is very challenging for many students, but it's one of the most important strategies used in successful essays. Writing this way will absolutely make your statement stand out from the rest.

While it may be tempting to write in a high academic tone, using terminology or jargon that is often complex or discipline-specific, requiring a specialized vocabulary for comprehension. You should actually aim to write for a non-specialist audience. Remember, in the world of medicine, describing a complex, clinical condition to a patient requires using specific but clear words. This is why your personal statement should show that you can do the same thing. Using large words in unwieldy ways makes you sound like you are compensating for poor communication skills. Use words that you believe most people understand. Read your personal statement back to a 14-year-old, and then again to someone for whom English is not their first language, to see if you're on the right path.

Ultimately, fancy words do not make you a good communicator; listening and ensuring reader comprehension makes you a good communicator. Instead of using complex terminology to tell the admissions committee that you have strong communication skills, show them your communication skills through clear, accessible prose, written with non-specialists in mind. A common refrain among writing instructors is, never use a $10 word where a $2 word will suffice. If you can say it in plain, accessible language, then this is what you should do.

Display Professionalism

Professionalism may seem like a difficult quality to display when only composing a personal statement. After all, the reader can't see your mannerisms, your personal style, or any of those little qualities that allow someone to appear professional. Professionalism is about respect for the experience of others on your team or in your workplace. It is displayed when you are able to step back from your own individual position and think about what is best for your colleagues and peers, considering their needs alongside your own. If a story is relevant to why you want to be a physician and demonstrates an example of how you were professional in a workplace setting, then it is appropriate to include in your essay.

One easy way to destroy a sense of professionalism is to act in a judgmental way towards others, particularly if you perceived and ultimately resolved an error on someone else's part. Sometimes students blame another medical professional for something that went wrong with a patient.

They might say something to the effect of, "The nurse kept brushing off the patient's concerns, refusing to ask the attending to increase her pain medications. Luckily, being the empathetic individual that I am, I took the time to listen to sit with the patient, eventually bringing her concerns to the attending physician, who thanked me for letting him know."

There are a couple of things wrong with this example. It seems like this person is putting down someone else in an attempt to make themselves look better. They come across as un-empathetic and judgmental of the nurse. Maybe she was having a busy day, or maybe the attending had just seen the patient for this issue and the patient didn't really need re-assessment. Reading this kind of account in a personal statement makes the reader question the maturity of the applicant and their ability to move past blaming others and resolve problems in a meaningful way. Instead of allocating blame, identify what the problem was for the patient and then focus on what you did to resolve it and reflect on what you learned from the whole experience.

One last note on professionalism: Being professional does not mean being overly stoic, hiding your emotions, or cultivating a bland personality. A lot of students are afraid to talk about how a situation made them feel in their personal statement. They worry that discussing feelings is inappropriate and will appear unprofessional. Unfortunately for these students, emotional intelligence is hugely important to the practice of medicine. In order to be a good doctor, one must be aware of their own emotions as well as those of their patients. Good doctors are able to quickly identify their own emotions and understand how their emotional reactions may inform their actions, and the ability to deliver appropriate care, in a given situation. Someone who is incapable of identifying their emotions is also incapable of managing them effectively and will likely struggle to identify the emotions of others. So, when writing your personal statement, think about how each experience made you feel, and what you learned from those feelings and that experience.

How to Write About Discrepancies and Common Mistakes to Avoid

Part of your essay's body can include a discussion of any discrepancies or gaps in your education, or disruptions in your academic performance. If you had to take time off, or if you had a term or course with low grades, or if you had any other extenuating circumstances that impacted your education, you can take time to address these here. It is very important to address these strategically. Do not approach this section as space to plead your case. Offer a brief summary of the situation, and then emphasize what you learned from such hardships. Always focus on the positive, illustrating how such difficulties made you stronger, more resilient, or more compassionate. Connect your experiences to the qualities desired by medical schools. Here's how I student Alison address an academic discrepancy in her application:

I had an academic dishonesty during undergrad, which, at the time, ended up being this big misunderstanding. But I was going to appeal this and get it off my record. I was supposed to start nursing school two weeks after this whole ordeal had gone down and, at our university, if you try to appeal your academic dishonesty then you'd have to take an incomplete in that class and I needed this class in order to start nursing school. So I wasn't able to [appeal]. So when I talked with the people at the nursing school they were like ‘it's no big deal, it's fine’. [But] it came back and it haunted me very much. When I was applying [to medical school] I started looking online [to see] how big of a deal is it to have this ‘red flag’ on my application. I started reading all of these horror stories on Student Doctor Network and all of these other forums about how if you have an academic dishonesty you shouldn't even bother applying, that you'll never get in. Schools will blacklist you and I was [wondering] what am I going do. [My advisor suggested I use the essay to talk about my discrepancy]. 

First off, if anyone out there has an academic violation don't read student doctor network. don't listen to anybody. you absolutely are still a potential medical student and schools are not going to blacklist you just because of one mistake that you made. that's all lies. don't listen to them. i don't even think it came up a single time during any of my interviews. i think a lot of that came back to how i wrote that essay and the biggest advice that i can give that i got from the [bemo] team is explain what happened… just give the facts. be very objective about it. in the last two thirds [of the essay] you want to focus on what you learned from it and how it made you a better person and how it's going to make you a better physician.” – alison, bemo student, current student at dell medical school.

We hope many of you find a peace of mind when you read Alison's story. Because it shows that with the right approach to your medical school personal statement, you can overcome even red flags or setbacks that made you dread the application process. Use your personal statement to emphasize your ability to persevere through it all but do so in a positive way. Most of all, if you feel like you have to explain yourself, take accountability for the situation. State that it is unfortunate and then redirect it to what you learned and how it will make you a better doctor. Always focus on being positive and do not lament on the negative situation too much.

Additional Mistakes to Avoid in Personal Statements:

Check out this video on the top 5 errors to avoid in your personal statement!

Step 3: Writing Your First Draft

As you can see, there is a LOT of planning and consideration to be done before actually starting your first draft. Properly brainstorming, outlining, and considering the content and style of your essay prior to beginning the essay will make the writing process much smoother than it would be you to try to jump right to the draft-writing stage. Now, you're not just staring at a blank page wondering what you could possibly write to impress the admissions committee. Instead, you've researched what the school desires from its students and what the medical profession prioritizes in terms of personal characteristics, you've sketched out some key moments from your life that exemplify those traits, and you have a detailed outline that just needs filling in.

As you're getting started, focus on getting content on the page, filling in your outline and getting your ideas arranged on the page. Your essay will go through multiple drafts and re-writes, so the first step is to free write and start articulating connections between your experiences and the characteristics you're highlighting. You can worry about flow, transitions, and perfect grammar in later drafts. The first draft is always a working draft, written with the understanding that its purpose is to act as a starting point, not an ending point. Once you've completed a draft, you can begin the revising process. The next section will break down what to do once you have your first draft completed.

You can also begin looking at things like style, voice, transitions, and overall theme. The best way to do this is to read your essay aloud. This may sound strange, but it is one of the single most impactful bits of writing advice a student can receive. When we're reading in our heads (and particularly when we're reading our own words), it is easy to skip over parts that may be awkwardly worded, or where the grammar is off. As our brains process information differently, depending on whether we're taking in visual or auditory information, this can also help you understand where the connections between ideas aren't as evident as you would like. Reading the essay aloud will help you begin internalizing the narrative you've crafted, so that you can come to more easily express this both formally in writing and informally in conversation (for example, in an interview).

#1 Did You Distinguish Yourself From Others?

Does your narrative sound unique? Is it different than your peers or did you write in a generic manner? Our admissions expert Dr. Monica Taneja, MD, shares how she got the attention of the admissions committee with her personal statement:

"I also found it helpful to give schools a 'punch-line'. As in I wanted them to remember 1-2 things about me that are my differentiators and I reiterated those throughout [the personal statement]." - Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

Use your narrative to provide a compelling picture of who you are as a person, as a learner, as an advocate, and as a future medical professional. What can you offer? Remember, you will be getting a lot out of your med school experience, but the school will be getting a lot out of you, as well. You will be contributing your research efforts to your department, you will be participating in the academic community, and as you go on to become a successful medical professional you will impact the perception of your school's prestige. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, so use this opportunity to highlight what you bring to the table, and what you will contribute as a student at their institution. Let them know what it is about you that is an attribute to their program. Make them see you as a stand out from the crowd.

#2 Does My Essay Flow and is it Comprehensible?

Personal statements are a blessing and a curse for admission committees. They give them a better glimpse of who the applicant is than simple scores. Also, they are long and time-consuming to read. And often, they sound exactly alike. On occasion, a personal statement really makes an applicant shine. After reading page after page of redundant, cookie-cutter essays, an essay comes along with fluid prose and a compelling narrative, the reader snaps out of that feeling of monotony and gladly extends their enthusiastic attention.

Frankly, if the statement is pleasant to read, it will get read with more attention and appreciation. Flow is easier to craft through narrative, which is why you should root the statement in a story that demonstrates characteristics desirable to medical schools. Fluidity takes time to build, though, so your statement should be etched out through many drafts and should also be based on an outline. You need to brainstorm, then outline, then draft and re-draft, and then bring in editors and listeners for feedback (Note: You need someone to proofread your work. Bestselling authors have editors. Top scholars have editors. I need an editor. You need an editor. Everyone needs an editor). Then, check and double-check and fix anything that needs fixing. Then check again. Then submit. You want this to be a statement that captures the reader's interest by creating a fluid, comprehensible piece that leads the reader to not only read each paragraph but want to continue to the next sentence.

#3 Did You Check Your Grammar?

If you give yourself more than one night to write your statement, the chances of grammatical errors will decrease considerably. If you are pressed for time, upload your file into an online grammar website. Use the grammar checker on your word processor, but know that this, in itself, isn't enough. Use the eyes and ears of other people to check and double-check your grammar, punctuation, and syntax. Read your statement out loud to yourself and you will almost certainly find an error (and likely several errors). Use fresh eyes to review the statement several times before you actually submit it, by walking away from it for a day or so and then re-reading it. Start your essay early, so that you actually have time to do this. This step can make or break your essay. Do not waste all the effort you have put into writing, to only be discarded by the committee for using incorrect grammar and syntax.

#4 Did You Gather Feedback From Other People?

The most important tip in writing a strong application essay is this getting someone else to read your work. While the tips above are all very useful for writing a strong draft, nothing will benefit you more than getting an outside appraisal of your work. For example, it's very easy to overlook your own spelling or grammatical errors. You know your own story and you may think that your narrative and it's meaning make sense to your reader. You won't know that for sure without having someone else actually read it. This may sound obvious, but it's still an absolute necessity.

“It was very helpful for two of my mentors to review my statements before submitting my application. Ensure you trust the judgement and skills of the person to whom you would be giving your personal statement for review.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

Have someone you trust to read the essay and ask them what they thought of it. What was their impression of you after reading it? Did it make sense? Was it confusing? Do they have any questions? What was the tone of the essay? Do they see the connections you're trying to make? What were their takeaways from your essay, and do these align with your intended takeaways for your reader? Ideally, this person should have some knowledge of the application process or the medical profession, so that they can say whether you were successful in demonstrating that you are a suitable candidate for medical school. However, any external reader is better than no external reader at all.

Avoid having people too close to you read your work. They may refrain from being too critical in an effort to spare your feelings. This is the time to get brutal, honest feedback. If you know someone who is an editor but do not feel that they can be objective, try and find someone else.

Want more examples? Check out our video below:

FAQs and Final Notes

Your personal statement should tell your story and highlight specific experiences or aspects of your journey that have led you to medicine. If your first exposure or interest in the medical field was sparked from your own medical struggles, then you can certainly include this in your statement. What is most important is that you write about what factors or experiences attributed to you deciding that medicine is the right career path for you.

Sometimes students shy away from including their own personal struggles and describing how they felt during difficult times but this is a great way for admissions committees to gain perspective into who you are as a person and where your motivations lie. Remember, this is your story, not someone else's, so your statement should revolve around you. If you choose to discuss a personal hardship, what's most important is that you don't cast yourself as the victim and that you discuss what the experience taught you. Also, medical schools are not allowed to discriminate against students for discussing medical issues, so it is not looked at as a red flag unless you are talking about an issue inappropriately. For example, making yourself appear as the victim or not taking responsibility.

All US medical schools require the completion of a personal statement with your AMCAS, TMDSAS or AACOMAS applications.

Medical schools in Canada on the other hand, do not require or accept personal statements. In lieu of the personal statement, a few of these schools may require you to address a prompt in the form of an essay, or allow you to submit an explanation essay to describe any extenuating circumstances, but this is not the same as the US personal statement. For example, when applying through  OMSAS , the  University of Toronto medical school  requires applicants to complete four short, 250 words or less, personal essays.

Many students struggle with whether or not they should address an unfavorable grade in their personal statement. What one student does isn't necessarily the right decision for you.

To help you decide, think about whether or not that bad grade might reflect on your poorly. If you think it will, then it's best to address the academic misstep head-on instead of having admissions committees dwell on possible areas of concern. If you're addressing a poor evaluation, ensure that you take responsibility for your grade, discuss what you learned and how your performance will be improved in the future - then move on. It's important that you don't play the victim and you must always reflect on what lessons you've learned moving forward.

Of course not, just because you didn't wake up one morning and notice a lightbulb flashing the words medicine, doesn't mean that your experiences and journey to medicine are inferior to those who did. Students arrive to medicine in all sorts of ways, some change career paths later in life, some always knew they wanted to pursue medicine, and others slowly became interested in medicine through their life interactions and experiences. Your personal statement should address your own unique story to how you first became interested in medicine and when and how that interest turned to a concrete desire.

While your entire statement is important, the opening sentence can often make or break your statement. This is because admission committee members are reviewing hundreds, if not thousands of personal statements. If your opening sentence is not eye-catching, interesting, and memorable, you risk your statement blending in with the large pile of other statements. Have a look at our video above for tips and strategies for creating a fantastic opening sentence.

Having your statement reviewed by family and friends can be a good place to start, but unfortunately, it's near-impossible for them to provide you with unbiased feedback. Often, friends and family members are going to support us and rave about our achievements. Even if they may truly think your statement needs work, they may feel uncomfortable giving you their honest feedback at the risk of hurting your feelings.

In addition, family and friends don't know exactly what admission committee members are looking for in a personal statement, nor do they have years of experience reviewing personal statements and helping students put the best version of themselves forward. For these reasons, many students choose to seek the help of a professional medical school advisor to make sure they have the absolute best chances of acceptance to medical school the first time around.

If you have enough time set aside to write your statement without juggling multiple other commitments, it normally takes at least four weeks to write your statement. If you are working, in school, or volunteering and have other commitments, be prepared to spend 6-8 weeks.

Your conclusion should have a summary of the main points you have made in your essay, but it should not just be a summary. You should also end with something that makes the reader want to learn more about you (i.e. call you for an interview). A good way to do this is to include a call-back to your opening anecdote: how have you grown or matured since then? How are you more prepared now to begin medical school?

The goal is to show as many of them as you can in the WHOLE application: this includes your personal statement, sketch, reference letters, secondary essays, and even your GPA and MCAT (which show critical thinking and reasoning already). So, it’s not an issue to focus on only a few select experiences and competencies in the personal statement.

Yes, you can. However, if you used an experience as a most meaningful entry, pick something else to talk about in your essay. Remember, you want to highlight as many core competencies across your whole application). Or, if you do pick the same experience: pick a different specific encounter or project with a different lesson learned.

Once your essay is in good shape, it's best to submit to ensure your application is reviewed as soon as possible. Remember, with rolling admissions, as more time passes before you submit your application, your chances of acceptance decreases. Nerves are normal and wanting to tinker is also normal, but over-analyzing and constant adjustments can actually weaken your essay.

So, if you're thinking about making more changes, it's important to really reflect and think about WHY you want to change something and if it will actually make the essay stronger. If not your changes won't actually make the essay stronger or if it's a very minor change you're thinking of making, then you should likely leave it as is.

The reality is, medical school admission is an extremely competitive process. In order to have the best chance of success, every part of your application must be stellar. Also, every year some students get in whose GPAs or  MCAT scores  are below the median. How? Simply because they must have stood out in other parts of the application, such as the personal statement.

The ones that honestly made the most impact on you. You'll need to reflect on your whole life and think about which experiences helped you grow and pushed you to pursue medicine. Ideally, experiences that show commitment and progression are better than one-off or short-term activities, as they usually contribute more to growth.

Final Notes

This Ultimate Guide has demonstrated all the work that needs to be done to compose a successful, engaging personal statement for your medical school application. While it would be wonderful if there was an easy way to write your personal statement in a day, the reality is that this kind of composition takes a lot of work. As daunting as this may seem, this guide lays out a clear path. In summary, the following 5 steps are the basis of what you should take away from this guide. These 5 steps are your guide and sort of cheat sheet to writing your best personal statement.

5 Main Takeaways For Personal Statement Writing:

• Brainstorming
• Content and Theme
• Multiple Drafts
• Revision With Attention to Grammar

While a strong personal statement alone will not guarantee admission to medical school, it could absolutely squeeze you onto a  medical school waitlist , off the waitlist, and onto the offer list, or give someone on the admissions committee a reason to go to battle for your candidacy. Use this as an opportunity to highlight the incredible skills you've worked and studied to refine, the remarkable life experiences you've had, and the key qualities you possess in your own unique way. Show the admissions committee that you are someone they want to meet. Remember, in this context, wanting to meet you means wanting to bring you in for an interview!

Dr. Lauren Prufer is an admissions expert at BeMo. Dr. Prufer is also a medical resident at McMaster University. Her medical degree is from the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry. During her time in medical school, she developed a passion for sharing her knowledge with others through medical writing, research, and peer mentoring.

To your success,

Your friends at BeMo

BeMo Academic Consulting

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I have been reading posts regarding this topic and this post is one of the most interesting and informative one I have read. Thank you for this!

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3 Foolproof Ways to Make Your Personal Statement Memorable

By: Ryan Kelly

Since the dawn of time, there have been many different cultures and societies with various beliefs on medicine.

Ugh. Scratch that.

What exactly is ‘medicine?’ Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and the prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease.”

As the great thinker Paracelsus once said, “Medicine is not only a science, but also an art.”

Alright I’m going to have to stop us right there.

These hooks are bad - more likely found in English 101 papers than medical school personal statements. In fact, they’re inspired by my time teaching clueless freshmen how to write.

If you scoffed at these lines, then good, your instincts are spot on.

But what if I challenged you to write your own hook right now? Think you could do better? Go ahead - I’ll wait - take all the time you need:

WRITE YOUR OWN PERSONAL STATEMENT HOOK:

____________________________________________________________________________

Maybe you came up with one, maybe you didn’t. But my guess is that it wasn’t easy and that you didn’t feel satisfied.

WHY ARE PERSONAL STATEMENT HOOKS SO CHALLENGING TO WRITE?

1. getting started feels daunting..

You often don’t know where you’re going or where you’ll end up. Discussing medicine in relation to your entire life story feels impossible. No hook feels good enough for the perfect, all-encompassing essay that you envision.

“I want to talk about translational research, but I also want to mention the free clinic for the underserved. Oh, and my three weeks in Ghana. How can I tie that together with my grandma’s cancer and my brother’s mental problems? Is there a hook for all of that?”

Every year, I watch perfectionism and self-consciousness cripple pre-med writers. They “pre-write” things in their heads for weeks, maybe months, never getting anything down on the page. They ponder ways to somehow combine all the different angles or ideas they want to explore, rather than writing one solid, focused essay. They forget that the personal statement is just one element of the primary application (and the last one that admissions officers read!).

Don’t get me wrong, outlining and pre-writing are great strategies - they might help you figure out a way to callback to your hook at the end, or how to make its theme emerge throughout.

But DON’T be fooled into thinking that the muse will suddenly strike and you’ll knock the personal statement out in one brilliant sitting. Writing is a process, and most personal statements take three or four revisions. Sometimes your hook won’t even reveal itself until you’ve warmed up and word-vomited a few paragraphs.

Your hook doesn’t need to be all-encompassing (which is impossible anyway). As we’ll see, most good hooks rely on their specificity and narrowed scope.    

2. EVERY IDEA SOUNDS CLICHE. ESPECIALLY THE IDEAS THAT FEEL MOST HONEST OR AUTHENTIC.

Ever since doctors cured my grandfather’s cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.

Even as a child, I had medical aspirations. I remember using my toy stethoscope on my three younger siblings as we ‘played doctor.’

Family illnesses and childhood dreams are important, but they’ve become cliche due to their overuse. I’ve written about these cliches before:

THE 5 MOST OVERUSED SENTENCES IN PERSONAL STATEMENTS

3 TECHNIQUES TO AVOID SOUNDING CLICHE IN YOUR MEDICAL SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT

It’s frustrating to realize that your motivations towards your life’s calling are cliche, unoriginal, run-of-the-mill. But it’s okay. Most pre-meds have similar reasons for choosing medicine (helping people + using science), so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You just have to make it your wheel by figuring out what makes your story/application distinct.      

3. EVERY INTRIGUING OR CREATIVE IDEA FEELS TOO RISKY. YOU’RE NOT WRITING THE NEXT EXPERIMENTAL NOVEL, AFTER ALL.

“I was thinking about comparing medicine to the ingredients and layers of a burrito. Like an extended metaphor. I could also compare the healthcare system to an open wound - that’s attention-grabbing, right?”

Okay, there is such a thing as TOO risky. Fancy extended metaphors or blatant shock value might not be the way to go.

But most of the time, pre-meds play it too safe. Playing it safe might mean straying away from “frivolous” storytelling or “tangential” information that could actually be the most memorable or unique aspect of their experiences.

Pre-meds don’t have many opportunities to write about themselves, and their academic and research experiences don’t always encourage risk-taking. They never have to worry about grabbing the reader’s attention in their lab reports. So playing it safe might also mean sticking to the expository writing that they’re accustomed to in academia (all telling, no showing).

You have to change your mindset when writing a hook.

Imagine you’re a journalist writing a feature story about your life. Or you’re writing a memoir about your pre-med journey. You need to make a good impression right away and compel the audience to continue reading. For example:

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Our research team in the Philippines had taken every precaution. But somehow a rogue mosquito had managed to venture into the booties designed to protect my feet. When I looked down at the angry inflammation on my foot, I couldn’t believe the damage inflicted by such a tiny creature. The gruesome edema around my ankle served as a direct reminder of the mosquito-borne diseases that ravaged this community.

In general, it’s smart to open your essay with a problem, a failure, an unexpected challenge, a surprise, an ethical dilemma, an unsolved mystery, etc. All of these strategies create a “narrative question” that the reader wants answered. You might be worried about sounding too negative, but trust me, it’s okay. The conflict and tension are what make it interesting.

REGARDLESS OF THE CONTENT, HERE ARE THREE QUALITIES OF A GOOD HOOK:

1. good hooks are counterintuitive..

If something on your pre-med path has surprised you or upended your expectations, it might be a great thing to use as a hook. Chances are, it will surprise the reader too.

Cotton candy. Heavy metal music. American Ninja Warrior. Not what you’d expect to encounter in palliative care. But then I met Jimmy, a teenager with terminal cancer. A few months earlier, the words “children’s hospice” almost seemed like an oxymoron…

I’ve always been known for my sweet tooth, but I never expected that all the gummy worms and peanut butter cups would lead me to medicine. Growing up, I was resented for my lightning-fast metabolism, never gaining weight despite my sugary indulgences. On the outside I seemed healthy, but my sweet tooth had a secret cavity. At 18, I was diagnosed with secum diverticulitis and told that I had the digestional tract of a 60-year-old…

2. GOOD HOOKS ARE CONTRARIAN.

To illustrate this idea, let’s take one of our previous example hooks and make it better.

This type of narrative is expected. It could benefit from a reversal:

When my six-year-old nephew told me he wanted to be a doctor, I didn’t give him a high five or tell him “that’s awesome.” Instead, I asked, “Are you sure? That’s a pretty tough job.” I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the same question I was asked growing up. There are several doctors in our family, but they never push the career on their children. Instead, the career choice is more of an interrogation.

3. GOOD HOOKS ARE MORALLY AMBIGUOUS.

Again, let’s take one of our previous examples and make it better.

“Ever since doctors cured my grandfather’s cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.”

This type of narrative is too straightforward. It needs more tension and ambiguity:

I couldn’t understand my grandfather’s decision to give up. When he looked the doctor in the eye and refused treatment, my heart sank. The prognosis was grim, and he did not want to endure more chemo with such a low recovery rate. To me, the 5% was worth the agony, but I was being selfish. My family pleaded with the doctors to help change his mind, but they had to respect his decision.

It took me years to realize this was the humane thing to do.

REMEMBER THE HOOK YOU WROTE EARLIER? WITH THESE QUALITIES IN MIND, TAKE A SHOT AT REVISING IT:

Getting started can be the toughest part of the writing process, but hopefully my advice helps you jumpstart your essay with a memorable hook that feels authentic and distinct.

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How to Write a Personal Statement

A personal statement can be a key part of your college application, and you can really make yours shine by following a few tips.

When you're applying to college—either to an undergraduate or graduate program—you may be asked to submit a personal statement. It's an essay that gives you the chance to share more about who you are and why you'd like to attend the university you're applying to.  

The information you provide in your personal statement can help build on your other application materials, like your transcripts and letters of recommendation, and build a more cohesive picture to help the admissions committee understand your goals.

In this article, we'll go over more about personal statements, including why they're important, what to include in one, and tips for strengthening yours.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement—sometimes known as a college essay —is a brief written essay you submit with other materials when applying to college or university. Personal statements tend to be most common for undergraduate applications, and they're a great opportunity for an admissions committee to hear your voice directly.

Many colleges and universities in the US, especially those using Common App , provide prompts for you to use. For example, "Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea" or "Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time" [ 1 ]. If the school you're interested in attending doesn't require prompts, you will likely want to craft a response that touches on your story, your values, and your goals if possible.

In grad school, personal statements are sometimes known as letters of intent , and go into more detail about your academic and professional background, while expressing interest in attending the particular program you're applying to.

Why is a personal statement important?

Personal statements are important for a number of reasons. Whereas other materials you submit in an application can address your academic abilities (like your transcripts) or how you perform as a student (like your letters of recommendation), a personal statement is a chance to do exactly that: get more personal.

Personal statements typically:

Permit you to share things that don't fit on your resume, such as personal stories, motivations, and values

Offer schools a chance to see why you're interested in a particular field of study and what you hope to accomplish after you graduate 

Provide an opportunity for you to talk about past employment, volunteer experiences, or skills you have that complement your studies 

Allow colleges to evaluate your writing skills 

Bring life to a college application package otherwise filled with facts and figures 

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How to write a personal statement.

As we mentioned earlier, you may have to respond to a prompt when drafting your personal statement—or a college or university may invite you to respond however you'd like. In either case, use the steps below to begin building your response.

Create a solid hook .

To capture the attention of an admissions committee member, start your personal statement with a hook that relates to the topic of your essay. A hook tends to be a colorful sentence or two at the very beginning that compels the reader to continue reading.

To create a captivating hook, try one of these methods:

Pose a rhetorical question. 

Provide an interesting statistic. 

Insert a quote from a well-known person.

Challenge the reader with a common misconception. 

Use an anecdote, which is a short story that can be true or imaginary. 

Credibility is crucial when writing a personal statement as part of your college application process. If you choose a statistic, quote, or misconception for your hook, make sure it comes from a reliable source.

Follow a narrative.

The best personal statements typically read like a story: they have a common theme, as well as a beginning, middle, and end. This type of format also helps keep your thoughts organized and improves the flow of your essay.

Common themes to consider for your personal statement include:

Special role models from your past

Life-altering events you've experienced

Unusual challenges you've faced

Accomplishments you're especially proud of

Service to others and why you enjoy it

What you've learned from traveling to a particular place

Unique ways you stand out from other candidates

Be specific.

Admissions committees read thousands of personal statements every year, which is why being specific on yours is important. Back up your statements with examples or anecdotes.

For instance, avoid vague assertions like, "I'm interested in your school counseling program because I care about children." Instead, point out experiences you've had with children that emphasize how much you care. For instance, you might mention your summer job as a day camp counselor or your volunteer experience mentoring younger children.

Don't forget to include detail and vibrancy to keep your statement interesting. The use of detail shows how your unique voice and experiences can add value to the college or university you're applying to.

Stay on topic.

It's natural to want to impress the members of the admissions committee who will read your personal statement. The best way to do this is to lead your readers through a cohesive, informative, and descriptive essay.

If you feel you might be going astray, ensure each paragraph in your essay's body supports your introduction. Here are a few more strategies that can help keep you on track:

Know what you want to say and do research if needed. 

Create an outline listing the key points you want to share.

Read your outline aloud to confirm it makes logical sense before proceeding. 

Read your essay aloud while you're writing to confirm you're staying on topic.

Ask a trusted friend or family member to read your essay and make suggestions.

Be true to your own voice.

Because of the importance of your personal statement, you could be tempted to be very formal with structure and language. However, using a more relaxed tone is better than you would for a classroom writing assignment. 

Remember: admissions committees really want to hear from you . Writing in your own voice will help accomplish this. To ensure your tone isn't too relaxed, write your statement as if you were speaking to an older relative or trusted teacher. This way, you'll come across as respectful, confident, and honest.

Tips for drafting an effective personal statement.

Now that you've learned a little about personal statements and how to craft them, here are a few more tips you can follow to strengthen your essay:

1. Customize your statement.

You don't have to completely rewrite your personal statement every time you apply to a new college, but you want to make sure you tailor it as much as possible. For instance, if you talk about wanting to take a certain class or study a certain subject, make sure you adjust any specifics for each application.

2. Avoid cliches.

Admissions committees are ultimately looking for students who will fit the school, and who the school can help guide toward their larger goals. In that case, cliches can get in the way of a reviewer understanding what it is you want from a college education. Watch out for cliches like "making a difference," "broadening my horizons," or "the best thing that ever happened to me."

3. Stay focused.

Try to avoid getting off-track or including tangents in your personal statement. Stay focused by writing a first draft and then re-reading what you've written. Does every paragraph flow from one point to the next? Are the ideas you're presenting cohesive?

4. Stick to topics that aren't controversial.

It's best not to discuss political beliefs or inappropriate topics in your essay. These can be controversial; ideally, you want to share something goals- or values-driven with an admissions committee.

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Article sources

1. Common App. " 2022-2023 Common App Essay Prompts , https://www.commonapp.org/blog/2022-2023-common-app-essay-prompts." Accessed January 9, 2024.

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Writing a Hook for Your Personal Statement for Medical School

Eric Grisham, MD

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. 

—George Orwell, 1984 (1949)

You better not never tell nobody but God. 

—Alice Walker, The Color Purple (1982)

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It was a pleasure to burn. 

—Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

Some of the best books ever written have the most iconic opening lines. While your personal statement for medical school won’t be the next seminal work of English literature, it can be the part of your application that scores you a medical school interview . Considered the foundation of the holistic application, the personal statement is your opportunity to show admissions committees who you are and why you want to be a physician. It shows admissions committees you , not just your exam scores or volunteering hours. The personal statement is not only your opportunity to crystallize exactly why you want to be a physician, but a way to demonstrate your communication skills.

Many students get stuck while writing their personal statement. I believe this is because applicants often have many reasons for wanting to go into medicine (spoiler alert: that’s a good thing) and it can be difficult to distill these reasons into one small essay. Even harder is communicating these reasons clearly in your personal statement.

Ultimately, you will have to be the one to write your personal statement hook for medical school. Let’s go over some tips on how to approach writing a hook before trying to write it.

The Personal Statement Hook… What is It?

The hook is a literary device at the beginning of an essay meant to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to continue reading. A hook can be many things: a serious anecdote, a short autobiography, a funny story, a quote, etc. The best personal statement writers can take a regular anecdote from their lives and use it to illustrate a key element of their personality and their reasons for wanting to be a doctor. For example, here is the opening paragraph from my personal statement for pediatrics residency. I am not an award-winning writer, but note how I tried to illustrate how my patient experiences have given me insight into why pediatrics is the right fit for me.

I met my most memorable pediatric patient while working in adult inpatient medicine. He was a complicated patient, but a regular kid, caught between failed pediatric medical management and adult medicine. He had just turned 18 when his pediatrician told him that he had end-organ damage in his eyes and heart from eight years of untreated IgA nephropathy. He would need dialysis and a kidney transplant. Every time I walked into his room, I saw a pediatric patient on the cusp of transitioning to adulthood. We laughed about video games when we weren’t talking about his medical treatments. He made fun of my mustache. When his nose would bleed from high blood pressure, he would vent his frustration and his stoic façade would fade away. His parents lamented not following up with his pediatrician after he was diagnosed eight years ago. His experience showed me the impact of childhood treatment on adult patient life and the increased weight and responsibility that pediatricians’ decisions have on all patients. As a pediatrician, I will have a radical impact on my patients’ futures even after they forget me. This is a responsibility that excites me and which I take seriously.

Your hook doesn’t have to be about caregiving in a war-torn region or saving your relative’s life (unless you did those things and they play a role in why you want to be a doctor). The personal statement hook should, however, be specific to your reasons for wanting to be a doctor .

Be Authentic: Uncover Your Reasons for Wanting to Be a Physician

I find that many applicants writing their personal statements can’t actually tell me why they want to go to medical school or pursue their specialty of choice. Before you write, make sure that you truly understand why you want to be a physician. I chose to pursue a career as a physician because I wanted to be an expert in a scientific field and use that science to heal people. I chose to become a pediatrician because I enjoy working with children and families, partly because the medical team and the parent frequently share a common goal: making their kid better. Compared to other medical fields, medical school and residency have taught me the reasons why we use certain treatments and not just which treatments to use and when. Once you know why you want to be a doctor, writing the hook can be the easy part of your personal statement.

If you are having a difficult time putting pen to paper, first make sure you truly understand why you want to be a doctor. Understand which of your qualities you want to come across to admissions committees in your application and your personal statement. Make sure these qualities demonstrate why you want to be a doctor and not just work in the healthcare field. Almost every other route to working in healthcare is easier than becoming a physician.

Plan and Have Some Examples Before Writing Your Personal Statement Hook

If you are still having trouble writing your hook, don’t despair. It’s objectively hard to write a personal statement and harder to write a hook.

Before you write your hook, I suggest making a list of how you want to portray yourself in your application. Are you a curious person? Do you love to travel and want to do global medicine? Are you the kind of person who loves coffee shops and wants a career where you get to have meaningful conversations with patients all day?

Writing Your Hook and Your Personal Statement

Now to the meat and potatoes.

First thing’s first: relax . Go pet your dog or cat, go for a run, or have a beverage of your choosing. 

Next, write . It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just get your ideas for your hook on paper. Then, step away and come back to them later. Starting your personal statement can be daunting, but the important thing to remember is that your personal statement doesn’t have to be perfect the first time you write it! Put words to paper first, and perfect it later. Writing down anything can help any writer break through their writer’s block.

Lastly, once you know how you want to portray yourself in your personal statement, brainstorm ideas you can use to demonstrate your qualifications. Again, this can be a personal anecdote, a funny story, a shadowing experience you had, a trip abroad, etc.

I like to approach descriptive writing by thinking about my five senses. What could you smell, hear, see, feel, and taste? Be descriptive, but brief. I’ll use an example.

Blankets of rain poured on the windows of our tiny, two-wheel-drive SUV as my fiancée and I careened past a cliff near the edge of the volcano. Carsick, the taste of bile filled my mouth, and my hand went numb as nausea washed over me. My partner tightly and anxiously clutched my sweaty, white hand after every pothole. After driving four hours over Bali’s largest volcano in the middle of a monsoon, the wheels of our Suzuki finally hit the pavement and we all smiled sighs of relief. Laughing, we made eye contact with our driver, Ery, in the rear-view mirror as he said, “…memories?” with a thick Indonesian accent.

Note how I use descriptive language to communicate how the physical sensations I felt paint a picture of the scene. This anecdote has nothing to do with medicine. However, I could use this story to illustrate how I want to be like our driver: calm under pressure, a guide for others, and a source of joy and humor during an otherwise stressful time. As a physician, it is my responsibility to be all of those things to my patients.

Get Feedback on Your Personal Statement

Ask for help. Every medical student, resident, and attending physician you know has written a personal statement that someone has deemed worthy enough to warrant acceptance to medical school. By the time you’re an attending physician, you will have written several. Make sure your hook (and your personal statement) captures your reader’s attention. Have someone experienced proofread your personal statement. Be selective on who you ask for advice. If you wouldn’t ask for advice from someone, don’t accept their criticism. Don’t worry if you are having trouble finding a mentor to review your application. Speak to us about essay editing if you are looking for some extra help!

Extra resources

Check out these resources if you’d like reliable guidance on writing a personal statement

• Purdue Online Writing Lab – The Personal Statement
• 2 Med School Essays That Admissions Officers Loved
• The 2021 Ultimate Guide to the AMCAS
• How to Write Your ERAS Personal Statement
• The Ultimate Guide to Writing Your Medical School Personal Statement

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, personal statement hooks.

Hey guys, I'm starting to work on my personal statement for college applications, and I'm a bit stuck on how to write a powerful hook. Do you have any suggestions or examples of impressive hooks you've seen? Thanks in advance!

Hey! Great to see you're working on your personal statement. Hooks are essential to capture the reader's attention and set the tone for your essay. Remember, admissions officers read thousands of applications, so make sure your hook stands out. Here are a few suggestions to get the creative juices flowing:

1. Start with an engaging anecdote: A personal story can quickly draw your reader in and make them feel connected to you.

2. Begin with a provocative question: Engage your reader by making them think about something relevant to your essay topic.

3. Use a quote: A well-chosen quote can set the stage for your essay and provide context for the points you'll discuss.

4. Create a vivid scene: Paint a mental picture for the reader. Descriptive language can help immerse them in your world and pique their interest.

Every story is different, so play around with different hooks until you find the one that best fits your essay. Good luck with your personal statement!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Tips for Expert Idea Generation in Your Personal Statement

“The hardest thing about getting started is getting started.” This quote is often attributed to Guy Kawasaki, a marketer who helped popularize Apple’s Macintosh computer.

You’re facing a less daunting task in writing a Personal Statement, but I’m sure Kawasaki’s quote still resonates with you as you stare at your blank doc and wonder how the heck you’re supposed to jumpstart your essay in a memorable way.

The opening line, or sometimes the whole opening paragraph, is often referred to as “the hook” because of its need to grab and pull the reader in. Sometimes the process of writing a hook will stymie students for weeks as they wallow in writer’s block. Reversely, once they have their hook, the rest of the essay sometimes writes itself. It’s that crucial for success.

So how do we start in getting started? Before anything else, here are some common “hook” mistakes to avoid:

• Don’t worry about making your hook directly relate to your career or field of interest
• Don’t worry about making your hook fit some kind of “theme”

It’s far more important for your hook to simply be interesting and show your value as a person! There’s always a way to eventually connect your story (whatever it may be) to the driving principles and core qualities that underlie your future goals.

So, ask yourself the following questions:

‍1. Is any aspect of my background or experiences particularly unusual?‍

• You were a child actor in Toys-R-Us commercials
• You grew up working at your parents’ Harley Davidson motorcycle dealership
• You earned your pilot’s license before you learned how to drive
• You escaped war-torn Ethiopia and emigrated to the US alone at age 17
• You ran a side business as a magician and performed at birthday parties

These are all real stories from our past students, but they are a minority! Don’t feel bad if you don’t have a story like this! We have many more options for your hook.

2. Have I ever left a group, organization, or community better than I found it?

• Integrated mental health into your school’s curriculum
• Created “Elder Tech” program to help nursing home residents use technology
• Designed JUUL attachment and phone app to help people quit vaping
• Established water filtration systems in impoverished Ecuadorian villages
• Founded a new mentor-mentee system for international students at your college

Admissions committees (at all levels) LOVE to see this kind of impact. Yours does not have to be as large in scale as the examples above. It just needs to be an example of a time you showed initiative to fill a gap or need in the communities around you.

3. Can I share a meaningful experience of me advocating for others?

• Working as a Big Brother or Big Sister for a child with Asperger’s
• Translating for Spanish-speaking patients at a free clinic
• Helping a friend, classmate, or peer find treatment for their eating disorder
• Tutoring prisoners to help them earn their GED
• Acting as a court-appointed special advocate (CASA) for a kid in foster care

These forms of personal impact lend themselves to interesting narratives that will show your value to others right away.  

4. Can I “nerd out” and show my intense passion for a subject?

• Hosting ‘Philosophy Nights’ to discuss thought experiments with your peers
• Giving tours as a docent at an aviation museum
• Making endless attempts to bake tasty gluten-free desserts
• Researching and dutifully counting your ‘macros’ to ensure optimal nutrition
• Taking apart and refurbishing vintage video game consoles

Even if this interest doesn’t perfectly connect with your long-term goals, readers respond well to passion. The more specific the details, the better.

The HALL OF SHAME- Personal Statement Hooks to Avoid at All Costs!

• Don’t open with a quote from a famous person (extra shame if it’s a super common one from Einstein, Gandhi, MLK, or Mother Theresa)
• Don’t claim you’ve wanted to be a [insert career] for as long as you can remember or “ever since you were a young child” (even if it’s true)
• Don’t say that you come from a long line of [insert career] and want to follow in their footsteps (even if it’s true)
• Don’t tell a story where you’re uninvolved or not an active participant
• Don’t write about events, issues, statistics, or data in an expository way that sounds like a research abstract or academic paper

We hope these do’s and don’ts for Personal Statement hooks have given you several ideas to jumpstart your essay and highlight your best qualities.

But we also know there’s more to this process than just having a good idea. Stay tuned for our next post where we’ll cover the stylistic qualities of good hooks and give some strong examples!

- Ryan and Rob P.S. We are in the process of building out the Pathfinder Med School Course - a FREE series of online courses to help students master their applications. Read about it here!

73 Essay Hook Examples

An essay hook is the first one or two sentences of your essay that are used to grab the reader’s attention and draw them into your discussion.

It is called a hook because it “grabs” the reader and doesn’t let them go! It should have something in there that makes the reader feel curious and intrigued, compelling them to continue reading.

Techniques for Good Essay Hooks

Here are a few techniques that you can use to write a good essay hook:

• Use a Quotation : Sometimes, a relevant quotation from a well-known author or expert can help establish the context or theme of your essay. Next time you’re conducting research for an essay, keep an eye out for a really compelling quote that you could use as your hook for that essay.
• Start with a Statement that is Surprising or Unusual: A surprising or unusually statement will draw a reader in, making them want to know more about that topic. It’s good if the statement contradicts common knowledge or reveals an insight about your topic that isn’t immediately obvious. These can be particularly good for argumentative essays where you’re putting forward a controversial or compelling argument as your thesis statement .
• Tell a Brief Anecdote : A short, interesting story related to your topic can personaize the story, making it more than just a dry essay, and turning it into a compelling narrative that’s worth reading.
• Use Statistics or Facts: Interesting, surprising, or shocking facts or statistics work similarly to surprising statements: they make us want to know more about a topic. Statistics and facts in your introductions are particularly useful for analytical, expository , and argumentative essays.
• Start with a Question: Questions that make the reader think deeply about an issue, or pose a question that the reader themselves has considered, can be really effecitve. But remember, questions tend to be better for informal and personal essays, and are generally not allowed in formal argumentative essays. If you’re not sure if you’re allowed to use questions in your essays, check with your teacher first.

Below, I’ll present some examples of hooks that you could use as inspiration when writing your own essay hook.

Essay Hook Examples

These examples might help stimulate your thinking. However, keep in mind that your essay hook needs to be unique to your essay, so use these as inspiration but write your own essay hook that’s perfect for your own essay.

1. For an Essay About Yourself

An essay about yourself can be personal, use “I” statements, and include memories or thoughts that are deeply personal to you.

• Question: “Have you ever met someone who could turn even the most mundane events into a thrilling adventure? Let me introduce myself.”
• Anecdote: “The smell of freshly baked cookies always takes me back to the day when I accidentally started a baking business at the age of nine.”
• Intriguing Statement: “I’ve always believed that you haven’t truly lived until you’ve read a book upside down, danced in the rain, or taught a parrot to say ‘I love pizza.'”
• Quotation: “As Mark Twain once said, ‘The secret of getting ahead is getting started.’ That’s a philosophy I’ve embraced in every aspect of my life.”
• Humorous Statement: “I’m a self-proclaimed ‘professional chocolate tester’ – a title that’s not only delicious but also requires extreme dedication.”
• Start with your Mission Statement : “My life motto is simple but powerful: be the person who decided to go for it.
• Fact or Statistic: “According to a study, people who speak more than one language tend to be better at multitasking . As a polyglot, I certainly live up to that statistic.”
• Comparison or Metaphor: “If my life were a book, it would be a blend of an adventurous novel, a suspense thriller, and a pinch of romantic comedy.”
• Personal Revelation: “Ever since I was a child, I’ve had an uncanny ability to communicate with animals. It’s an unusual skill, but one that has shaped my life in many ways.”
• Narrative: “The day everything changed for me was an ordinary Tuesday. Little did I know, a single conversation would lead me to discover my true passion.”

2. For a Reflective Essay

A reflective essay often explores personal experiences, feelings, and thoughts. So, your hooks for reflective essays can usually be more personal, intriguing, and engaging than other types of essays. Here are some examples for inspiration:

• Question: “Have you ever felt as though a single moment could change your entire life? This essay is going to explore that moment for me.”
• Anecdote: “I was standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking at the vast emptiness, and for the first time, I truly understood the word ‘perspective’.”
• Bold Statement: “There is a part of me that is still trapped in that room, on that rainy afternoon, holding the letter that would change everything.”
• Personal Revelation: “The first time I truly felt a sense of belonging wasn’t in a crowded room full of friends, but in the quiet solitude of a forest.”
• Intriguing Statement: “In my life, silence has been a teacher more profound than any words could ever be.”
• Quotation: “Einstein once said, ‘The only source of knowledge is experience.’ Now, looking back, I realize how profound that statement truly is.”
• Comparison or Metaphor: “If my life is a tapestry, then that summer was the vibrant thread that changed the entire pattern.”
• Narrative: “As the train pulled out of the station, I realized I wasn’t just leaving my hometown, I was leaving my old self behind.”
• Philosophical Statement: “In the theater of life, we are both the actor and the audience, playing our part and watching ourselves simultaneously.”
• Emotive Statement: “There is a sort of sweet sorrow in remembering, a joy tinged with a hint of sadness, like the last notes of a beautiful song.”

For an Argumentative Essay

Essay hooks for argumentative essays are often the hardest. This type of essay tends to require the most formal type of academic writing, meaning your hook shouldn’t use first person, and should be more based on fact and objectivity, often at the expense of creativity. Here are some examples.

• Quotation: “Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.’ If Jefferson were alive today, he would likely feel that this meed for a well-informed citizenry is falling well short of where he would aspire.”
• Provocative Statement: “Despite what romantic films may portray, love at first sight is merely a myth perpetuated by society. This essay will prosecute the argument that love at first sight is a myth.”
• Statistical Fact: “According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading psychological disability worldwide. Yet, mental health is still stigmatized and often overlooked. This essay will argue that depression should be seen as a health issue, and stigmatization of depression causes serious harm to society.”
• Comparison: “Much like an unchecked infection, climate change, if left ignored, can spread far beyond what it is today, causing long-term economic and social problems that may even threaten the longevity of humanity itself.”
• Contradiction : “While we live in an era of unprecedented technological advancements, millions around the world are still denied basic internet access.”
• Bold Declaration: “Animal testing is not only ethically unacceptable, but it also undermines the progress of medical research.”
• Challenging Belief: “Despite popular belief, the automation of jobs is not a threat but an opportunity for society to evolve.”
• Quotation: “George Orwell wrote in ‘1984’, ‘Big Brother is Watching You.’ In our modern society, with the advancement of technology, this is becoming more of a reality than fiction.”
• Intriguing Statement: “Despite countless diet fads and fitness trends, obesity rates continue to rise. This argumentative essay will argue that this is because medical practitioners’ approaches to health and weight loss are fundamentally flawed.”
• Statistical Fact: “Research reveals that over 90% of the world’s plastic waste is not recycled. This alarming figure calls for a drastic change in social attitudes towards consumption and waste management.”
• Challenging Assumption: “Society often assumes that progress and growth are intrinsically good, but this is not always the case in the realm of economic development.”
• Contradiction: “Western society upholds the value of freedom, yet every day, members of society cede personal liberties in the name of convenience and security.”
• Analogy: “Like an overplayed song, when a news story is repeated too often, it loses its impact. In the era of digital media, society is becoming desensitized to critical issues.”
• Relevant Anecdote: “In a village in India, the arrival of a single computer transformed the lives of the residents. This small anecdote underscores the importance of digital inclusion in today’s world.”
• Call to Rethink: “In a world where success is often equated with financial wealth, it is time for society to reconsidered what truly constitutes a successful life.”

For a Compare and Contrast Essay

A compare and contrast essay examines two issues, looking at both the similarities and differences between them. A good hook for a compare and contrast essay will immediately signal to the reader the subjects that are being compared and why they’re being compared. Here are sine ideas for hooks for a compare and contrast essay:

• Quotation: “As Charles Dickens wrote in his novel ‘A Tale of Two Cities’, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’. This could equally apply to the contrasting dynamics of urban and rural living.”
• Provocative Statement: “Despite popular belief, cats and dogs have more in common than society tends to think.”
• Comparison: “Comparing being an only child to growing up with siblings is like contrasting a solo performance with an orchestral symphony.”
• Contradiction: “While many view classic literature and contemporary fiction as worlds apart, they are more akin to two sides of the same coin.”
• Bold Declaration: “Android and iPhone may compete in the same market, but their philosophies could not be more different.”
• Statistical Fact: “Statistics show that children who grow up reading books tend to perform better academically than those who do not. But, the jury is out on how reading traditional books compares to reading e-books on screens.”
• Quotation: “As Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote, ‘Sooner or later, we all sit down to a banquet of consequences.’ This statement can be used to frame a comparison between short-term and long-term thinking.”
• Provocative Statement: “Democracy and dictatorship are often seen as polar opposites, but are they are not as different as they seem.”
• Comparison: “Climate change and plastic pollution are two major environmental issues, yet they demand different approaches and solutions.”
• Contradiction: “While traditional classrooms and online learning are seen as separate modes of education, they can often blend into a cohesive learning experience.”
• Bold Declaration: “Though both based on merit, the structures of capitalism and socialism lead to vastly different societal outcomes.”
• Imagery: “The painting styles of Van Gogh and Monet can be contrasted as a stormy sea versus a tranquil pond.”
• Historical Reference: “The philosophies of the Cold War-era – capitalism and communism – provide a lens to contrast economic systems.”
• Literary Comparison: “The dystopian societies portrayed in George Orwell’s ‘1984’ and Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ serve as contrasting visions of the future.”
• Philosophical Question: “Individualism and collectivism shape societies in distinct ways, but neither one can truly exist without the other.”

See Here for my Guide on Writing a Compare and Contrast Essay

For a Psychology Essay

Writing an engaging hook for a psychology essay involves sparking the reader’s interest in the human mind, behavior, or the specific psychology topic you’re discussing. Here are some stimulating hooks for a psychology essay:

• Rhetorical Question: “How much control do we truly have over our own actions?”
• Quotation: “Sigmund Freud once said, ‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.’ This essay will explore whether this is universally true.”
• Provocative Statement: “Contrary to popular belief, ‘venting out’ anger might actually be fueling the fire of fury.”
• Comparison: “Just as an iceberg reveals only a fraction of its bulk above water, conscious minds may only be a small piece of who humans truly are.”
• Contradiction: “While it may seem counterintuitive, studies show that individuals who are more intelligent are also more likely to suffer from mental health issues.”
• Bold Declaration: “Despite advances in technology, understanding the human brain remains one of the final frontiers in science.”
• Statistical Fact: “According to a study by the American Psychological Association, nearly one in five adults in the U.S. lives with a mental illness. Yet, mental health continues to be a topic shrouded in stigma.”

For a Sociology Essay

Writing an engaging hook for a sociology essay involves sparking the reader’s interest in social behaviors, cultural phenomena, or the specific sociology topic you’re discussing. Here are ideas for hooks for a sociology essay:

• Quotation: “As Karl Marx once noted, ‘Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex.’ Sadly, society has not made much progress in gender equality.”
• Provocative Statement: “Social media, initially created to connect people, is ironically leading society into an era of unprecedented isolation.”
• Comparison: “Comparing society to a theater, where each individual plays a role, it is possible to start to see patterns and scripts embedded in daily interactions.”
• Contradiction: “While people often believe that technology is bringing society closer together, evidence suggests that it’s actually driving a wedge between people, creating ‘digital divides’.”
• Bold Declaration: “Human societies are constructed on deeply ingrained systems of inequality, often invisible to those benefiting from them.”
• Statistical Fact: “A recent study found that women still earn only 81 cents for every dollar earned by men. This stark wage gap raises questions about equality in the workforce.”

For a College Application Essay

A college essay is a personal statement where you can showcase who you are beyond your grades and resume. It’s your chance to tell your unique story. Here are ten potential hooks for a college essay:

• Anecdote: “At the age of seven, with a wooden spoon as my baton, I confidently conducted an orchestra of pots and pans in my grandmother’s kitchen.”
• Provocative Statement: “I believe that life is like a game of chess. The king might be the most important piece, but it’s the pawns that can change the entire course of the game.”
• Personal Revelation: “It wasn’t until I was lost in a foreign city, armed with nothing but a map in a language I didn’t understand, that I truly discovered my love for adventure.”
• Intriguing Question: “Have you ever wondered how it feels to be part of two completely different cultures, yet wholly belong to neither?”
• Bold Declaration: “Breaking a bone can be a painful experience. Breaking stereotypes, however, is an entirely different kind of challenge.”
• Unusual Fact: “I can recite the periodic table backwards while juggling three tennis balls. It’s a strange talent, but it’s a perfect metaphor for how I tackle challenges.”
• Quotation: “As Albert Einstein once said, ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge.’ This quote has defined my approach to learning.”
• Narrative: “It was a cold winter’s day when I first discovered the magic of turning a blank page into a world full of characters, stories, and ideas.”
• Metaphor: “Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, my high school years have been a period of profound metamorphosis.”
• Humorous Statement: “Being the youngest of five siblings, I quickly learned that the best way to be heard was to become the family’s unofficial lawyer.”

Conclusion: The Qualities of a Good Essay Hook

As I wrap up this article, I want to share a few last tips on qualities that a good essay hook should have. Keep these tips in mind when writing your essay hook and using the above essay hook examples:

First, relevance . A good hook should be directly relevant to the topic or theme of your essay. The hook should provide a preview of what’s to come without giving too much away.

Second, Intrigue. A great hook should make the reader want to continue reading. It should create a question in the reader’s mind or present a fascinating idea that they want to know more about.

Third, uniqueness. An effective hook should be original and unique. It should stand out from the many other essays that the reader might be going through.

Fourth, clarity. Even though a hook should be captivating and original, it should also be clear and easy to understand. Avoid complex sentences and jargon that might confuse the reader.

Fifth, genre conventions. Too often, my students try to be so creative in their essay hooks that they forget genre conventions . The more formal an essay, the harder it is to write the hook. My general approach is to focus on statistics and facts, and avoid rhetorical questions , with more formal essay hooks.

Keep in mind that you should run your essay hook by your teacher by showing them your first draft before you submit your essay for grading. This will help you to make sure it follows genre conventions and is well-written.

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 15 Animism Examples
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 10 Magical Thinking Examples
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ Social-Emotional Learning (Definition, Examples, Pros & Cons)
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ What is Educational Psychology?

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Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School: Good, Bad, & Everything In Between

Your personal statement should demonstrate that you have thought deeply about why you are making the decision to go to grad school and that you are an excellent fit for your target school. Sounds a little challenging? Don’t worry, these personal statement examples will break down the strategy of writing a strong graduate school application.

Comparing Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Below I will share types of personal statement examples: one with a strong writing approach and one that lacks clarity and may cause confusion for an admissions committee reader. Then I will describe the strengths and weaknesses of each example.

Introduction Paragraph Examples:

Ex. 1-Strong) The ocean is as fundamental to our lives as any other ecological habitat, so why don’t we have systems in place to treat it that way? Growing up in Monterey, California I was first introduced to marine biology through my advanced placement biology class. While in community college I helped form a student-led monthly beach clean-up team. This rewarding experience led me to pursue an undergraduate degree in Biology with an emphasis in ocean preservation. My passion for developing innovative and culturally informed approaches to marine preservation on a global scale have led me to pursue a doctorate in the field of marine biology. My desired research focus will explore solutions to the impacts of micro plastics in our ocean.

Ex. 2-Weak) Yea sure, the ocean is in a devastated condition, but what are we going to do about it? Well, with my degree in bio I plan to get a PhD in marine biology to help figure out how to address micro plastics in our ocean. I know so much already, and I just know that with a PhD I will be able to contribute on a greater scale. I know the PhD is a lot of work, but I am pretty sure I will be able to complete the program and have a great time doing so. I have always wanted to live in Santa Barbara, and that is definitely a part of my decision to apply to your program.

Diving Deeper Into Personal Statement Introductions

So, let’s discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the example introductions above!

• Throughout the paragraph the applicant demonstrates that they have been involved with marine biology since high school, this is important because it demonstrates their commitment to the field early on in the essay
• The applicant mentions a desire to live in Santa Barbara, while it may be true, it is not a strong enough reason to pursue a PhD and signals to the admissions committee that you may be pursuing the program for the wrong reasons. Keep details like this out of your personal statement and focus on reasons for applying that are academically motivated.

Conclusion Paragraph Examples:

Ex. 1-Strong) As a first generation college student, and an English language learner, my journey to receive my bachelors of science in marine biology has been tough. Along the way I have developed leadership skills, research and lab experience, as well as a refined passion for the work that marine biologists are able to do when informed by the local community members. I desire to continue my studies with an emphasis on ocean preservation research through the innovative and unique PhD program offered at UC Santa Barbara. It would be an honor to work with Dr. Jonas Mendoza and Dr. Raquel Pacheco, two professors whose work aligns with my research interests and who have been welcoming and encouraging through our email correspondence. While my research goals are ambitious, I am confident that your program offers the resources and mentorship required for a unified effort to resolve the impact that microplastics have on not only human life, but all marine animals and ecosystems.

Ex2. -Weak) I think it’s a miracle that I even completed my B.S degree! That’s how I know that with the funding and laid back atmosphere at UC Santa Barbara I can definitely complete the PhD. I’m not so interested in the teaching part, or the amount of course work I would be required to take, but I just know that once I get out there and get into the water, it will all be worth it. My research experience is competitive and top-notch, I am a great person to work with and easily make friends. I am hopeful to hear back and excited for the next steps! Thanks for reading this far.

Exploring Personal Statement Conclusions

• The applicant concludes by mentioning the importance of a “unified effort” for their research goals. This goes a long way to demonstrate that they understand how important collaborative effort is. This helps make an applicant more attractive in the eyes of an admissions committee that must also consider the work ethic of all applicants.
• The applicant describes their research experience as “competitive and top-notch”, even if you have the most impressive curriculum vitae focus on instead listing what you have done, with who and what they outcomes were and let the admissions committee decide how they interpret it.

So, what makes a good personal statement?

Your personal statement will be one of many that an admissions committee will read to assess who its strongest applicants are. you have to remember that the committee members do not get to meet you before they read your application materials. you cannot risk leaving out crucial information. oftentimes, students struggle to talk about themselves, they see it as “bragging” or “showing off”. it is important that you overcome your discomfort and realize that the personal statement is essentially the first impression you will make on the committee. make the most of the opportunity to introduce yourself and make sure to address the following:.

• Why now? Admissions committees have been through graduate school. They know better than anyone that graduate school is not a choice one makes simply because “you don’t know what else to do”. Demonstrate that you are prepared for the commitment and the work by specifying why you have decided that graduate school is the best option for you at this time and that your current and past experiences align with your intentions if admitted into the program.

A good personal statement will address all of these questions and be mindful about appropriate boundaries with each. Ultimately, it will demonstrate to the committee that you are prepared for the program, that you are likely to succeed if admitted, and that you are passionate about and committed to pursuing a career in which the training and the degree that you will receive is imperative to your future goals.

The importance of a clear narrative:

A clear narrative will allow for the admissions committee to extract the necessary information about you without any hassle. Remember that you are one applicant amongst many, when writing your personal statement do not assume that your reader will know the importance of any information or the necessary context if you do not provide these details for them. Consider these tips when writing:

• Do not overestimate the importance of proofreading! Read your essays out loud and record the audio while doing it. Does it flow? Does it answer every question provided in the prompt (if provided one)? I recommend finding at least one person who is in graduate school and preferably within your field to read your essay.

Summary and Major Takeaways

The personal statement is usually just 1-2 pages. With a document this short and with so much importance towards your chances of admission, every word matters! Consider these takeaways and do your research at every stage of the writing process.

Do this before you get to writing. Gather information from this blog post, the program’s official website, any correspondence between you and professors or graduate students at each program you will be applying to, and develop a document that lists every experience and detail you wish to include. Use this as a reference as you write so that you are certain you are hitting every point.

Do not skip this step! Seek out support from current graduate students or a writing service for some feedback. Double check for any language that is too casual, or can be off putting or concerning to anyone who will review your application.

Remember that admissions committees are made up of real people who read an unbelievable amount of applications. Do your best to stand out, really think about what sets you apart and what skills you have developed throughout your life that are relevant to the program you are pursuing. After you have your first draft, focus on language and phrases that are both professional and captivating to your reader. Sprinkle in some flare! For more examples, visit our blog to see more personal statement examples that got their writers into graduate programs!

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How To Write An Essay

Hook Examples

200+ Creative Hook Examples: Ready, Set, Hook

27 min read

Published on: Mar 22, 2023

Last updated on: Jan 30, 2024

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As a student, you know how important it is to grab your reader’s attention right away. 

Stories without strong starts can leave readers feeling uninspired and bored—and that's not what we want! After all, compelling stories require creative hooks to seal the deal. 

That's why we're here!

To avoid a bland start, it's important to craft a clever and memorable hook. With the use of effective hooks, you can leave a lasting impression on even the most discerning of readers.

Join us now as we jump into different types of hooks, from intriguing questions to vivid imagery – let's get started!

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Question Hook Examples

If you're stuck in the creative hook-writing process, a question hook can be your go-to. 

Questions hook readers and make them think about what’s being asked. You can also use a fact statistic too.

They also immediately draw attention to the topic at hand and make readers more likely to continue reading. 

 Let's look at some examples : 

• "What if I told you that a single dream could change your life?" 
• "Who can inhabit a place where the past and the present intersect?" 
• "How would you respond if you had to choose between love and ambition?" 
• "Where does one draw the line between passion and obsession?" 
• "Can humanity survive in a world of conflicting values?" 
• "What if our dreams became reality?" - John Steinbeck 
• "How do you explain something that cannot be explained?" 
• "Is it possible to find true love in an imperfect world?"
• "Do we control our destiny, or does fate have a hand in it?" 
• "How much can power corrupts us before we become monsters?"

Statistic Hook Examples

Numbers don't lie, and sometimes they can be the most powerful way to make a point. 

Here are some examples of statistic hooks that can grab your readers' attention:

• "Did you know that over 50% of adults in the United States are single?"
• "According to recent studies, over 70% of high school students report feeling overwhelmed and stressed on a daily basis."
• "In the United States, the average household debt is over $90,000."
• "Over 80% of Americans believe that climate change is a serious problem, but what are we doing to address it?"
• "According to recent polls, only 20% of Americans trust the government to do what is right always or most of the time."
• "In the last decade, the use of social media has skyrocketed, with over 3 billion users worldwide."
• "Studies show that women still earn only 82 cents for every dollar earned by men in the United States."
• "Over 40% of food produced in the United States is wasted each year, while millions of people go hungry."
• "Recent research has found that over 90% of plastic waste in the ocean comes from just 10 rivers in Asia and Africa."
• "Despite advances in medical technology, the United States has one of the highest rates of maternal mortality in the developed world, with over 700 deaths per year."

Metaphor / Simile Hook Examples

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for engaging your reader and making your writing more vivid. 

Here are ten examples to inspire your own metaphorical hooks.

• "Like a beacon in the night, [topic] shines a light on our deepest hopes and fears."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a Pandora's box of complex emotions and ideas that challenge us to confront our own biases and assumptions."
• "Just as a ship navigates treacherous waters, [topic] requires a steady hand and a clear sense of direction to navigate successfully."
• "In many ways, [topic] is a mirror that reflects the beauty and complexity of the human experience."
• "Like a puzzle with countless pieces, [topic] invites us to piece together disparate elements to uncover deeper truths and insights."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a garden that requires careful tending and nurturing to flourish."
• "Just as a painter uses color and light to create a masterpiece, [topic] allows us to paint a vivid portrait of the world around us."
• "In many ways, [topic] is a labyrinth that challenges us to explore its winding paths and discover hidden treasures along the way."
• "Like a key that unlocks a door, [topic] gives us access to new worlds of knowledge and understanding."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a journey that takes us on a winding path through the highs and lows of the human experience."

Anecdote Hook Examples

If you want to hook your readers from the start with a narrative that's more fun and lighthearted, an anecdote hook is a way to go.  

Let's look at some examples: 

• "It all started when I decided to take a walk in the woods one summer day..." 
• "The night began as any other night out with my friends - until the police showed up..."
• "The day I found out my grandmother had cancer was one of the saddest days of my life" 
• "It was a sunny Sunday afternoon when I decided to take a chance and go for a drive on an unfamiliar road" 
• "I never expected that one day I'd be standing in the World Cup final..."
• "It was summertime, and all my friends were out at the beach while I was stuck inside baking cookies" 
• "I remember the day I finally decided to take a leap of faith and start my own business" 
• "My first day at university was filled with anxiety and excitement" 
• "That's when I realized I wanted to be a teacher - when I saw the look on my student's faces after they finally understood something"
• "My first time walking into a yoga class was nerve-wracking, but it ended up being one of the best decisions of my life" 

Quote Hook Examples

If you want to hook your readers right away with a strong introduction, using a quote hook can be an effective strategy.  

Let's look at some examples of a quote from a famous person. 

• "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde 
• "To infinity and beyond!" - Buzz Lightyear 
• "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky 
• "If you can dream it, you can do it" - Walt Disney 
• "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" - J.K. Rowling 
• "You can't calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself" - Tim Berners-Lee 
•  "The only way to do great work is to love what you do" - Steve Jobs 
• "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao Tzu 
• "Life is what you make it" - Anonymous 
• "The best way to predict the future is to create it" - Abraham Lincoln 

Story Hook Examples

If your main goal is to fully captivate and engage readers in an unforgettable story, then a well-crafted story hook is the way to go.

• "It all started on a cold January night with a phone call that changed my life..." 
• "The moment I saw my best friend in that hospital bed, I knew everything would never be the same again..." 
• "I had been dreaming of this day for years - the day I'd finally get to explore the world outside of my small town..." 
• "The sun was just setting as we drove through the old neighborhood, remembering all the good times we had growing up..." 
• "I opened my front door to find a man standing in the hallway with a strange package - and that's how it all began..." 
• "The morning of my eighteenth birthday, I woke up feeling strangely different - like an adventure was about to begin..." 
• "I remember the day I decided to face my fears and take a leap of faith - that's when everything changed..." 
• "The night I saw the shooting stars were like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I knew it would stay with me forever..." 
• "It took one coincidence for me to realize that life was about to take me on a wild ride..." 
• "I had never felt so brave in my life when I decided to take a stand and fight for what I believed in..." 

Hook Examples For Essay

If you desire to seize your reader's attention and keep them enthralled in your essay, a persuasive hook is essential.

Check out these hooks for essays examples: 

• "The world we live in today has changed drastically since the introduction of technology" 
• "Every generation has had its own unique set of challenges - and the current generation is no exception" 
• "We can learn a lot from history and the mistakes that have been made in the past" 
• "Society often puts a label on things without really understanding them or giving them a chance" 
• "The power of technology can be both a blessing and a curse" 
• "Education is the key to success - and it's important for everyone to have access to it" 
• "What would life be like without our modern-day conveniences?" 
• "We all have our own unique perspectives, but sometimes we forget to look at the bigger picture" 
• "Not everything is as it seems - sometimes we have to dig deeper to understand the truth" 
• "Life is a journey, not a destination - and every step of the way holds valuable lessons to be learned"

Narrative Hook Examples

Narrative hook examples are a great way to engage your reader in your story. Here are some examples of hooks for a narrative essay :

• "It was a dark and stormy night, and I heard something outside my window..." 
• "I had been waiting for this moment my whole life, and finally it was here..." 
• "I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I opened that door..." 
• "The air around me suddenly changed, and a chill ran down my spine as I realized how alone I was..." 
• "It had been years since we'd seen each other, and now I was standing face to face with my old enemy..." 
• "I followed the faint light until I stumbled upon a mysterious room with an unknown secret inside..." 
• "It began as a normal day, but by nightfall, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before..." 
• "The cold wind was howling as I made my way across the deserted desert, searching for something greater..." 
• "As I stepped through the ruins of the long-abandoned castle, I could feel an eerie presence watching me..." 
• "The clock struck midnight and suddenly everything changed - it felt like a new world had been born..." 

Argumentative Essay Hook Examples

Argumentative hook examples can be a great tool to draw readers in and engage them with an argumentative essay . 

Let's look at some hook examples for argumentative essay: 

• "The world we live in today is drastically different from what it used to be - and much of this change has been caused by technology"
• "Every generation has its own set of challenges, and the current generation is no exception" 
• "We should always be willing to learn from history and the mistakes that have been made in the past" 
• "Society often judges things without really understanding them or giving them a chance" 
• "The power of technology can be both a blessing and a curse - we must find the balance" 
• "Education is essential to success, but not everyone has access to it" 
• "We all have our own unique perspectives, but we must consider the greater good" 
• "Sometimes things are not as they seem - it's important to look at all sides of an issue" 
• "Life is full of lessons - and it's impossible to learn them all in one lifetime" 

College Essay Hook Examples

Crafting an effective hook for a college essay is essential to grab your reader's attention and draw them into the story. 

College hook examples can serve as invaluable guides when creating this crucial element of any composition.

Check out some examples: 

• "The journey of life has taken me down many paths, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would lead me here" 
• "My story is not a traditional one, but it's uniquely mine and I'm ready to make my mark" 
• "When I think back to the decisions that have shaped my life, this one stands out as the most important" 
• "I had no idea how much I could learn from taking a leap of faith and going outside my comfort zone" 
• "From the age of four, I knew that I wanted to be a doctor - and here I am on the brink of making it happen" 
• "I wasn't always the most successful student, but I never gave up and now I'm ready to prove what I can do" 
• "A person's future isn't predetermined - I'm determined to make mine a success" 
• "Education is power, and I'm ready to take hold of my own destiny" 
• "It's not about where you come from, but what you can achieve with hard work and dedication"  
• "Life is unpredictable, but I'm ready to face any challenge that comes my way" 

Hook Examples For Speech

Speech hook examples provide a great way to hook your audience into your speech . 

Here are some examples: 

• "We've all heard the phrase 'knowledge is power', but what does that really mean?" 
• "What would our lives be like if we weren't as connected to technology as we are today?" 
• "The world is a vast and mysterious place - let's explore how different cultures live and think" 
• "What can we learn from the mistakes of our ancestors? Let's find out!" 
• "We've heard about climate change, but what can we actually do to help?" 
• "We live in a world of opportunity - let's explore how we can make the most of it" 
• "Everyone has a story to tell - let's discover what makes us unique and wonderful" 
• "Hard work and dedication are key ingredients for success - let's learn how to make the most of them" 
• "Let's talk about what it means to make a difference in our world, and how we can do it!" 
• "We all have the potential to reach our goals - let's find out how!" 

Hook Examples For Expository Essays

An expository essay provides a great way to engage your reader in your writing. Here are some examples:

• "We often take for granted the little things in life - let's explore why they are so important." 
• "What lies beneath the surface of our world? Let's look deeper and find out!" 
• "Our environment is rapidly changing - let's see what we can do to protect it." 
• "What causes people to make bad decisions? Let's explore the psychology behind it." 
• "Without laws, society would be chaos - let's look at how laws keep us safe." 
• "What can we learn from history? Let's uncover the lessons of our past." 
• "Fear is an inevitable part of life - let's examine how to conquer it." 
• "Our minds are incredibly powerful - let's explore the potential of our thoughts." 
• "Life can be unpredictable, but how do we handle it? Let's discover some strategies." 
• "What is the meaning of success? Let's define it and work towards achieving it!"?

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That's our Job!

Hook Examples For Compare And Contrast Essay 

When writing a compare and contrast essay, it's important to have strong hooks.

Here are some examples of hooks that you can use for your compare-and-contrast essay :

• "They say that 'opposites attract,' but do they really?"
• "If you think two things can't be more different, think again."
• "You might be surprised to learn that two seemingly similar things can have vast differences."
• "Have you ever wondered what makes two things that seem identical actually very different?"
• "There are many similarities between X and Y, but there are also key differences that make them stand out."
• "Are you struggling to choose between two options that seem equally appealing?"
• "At first glance, it may seem like two things have nothing in common."
• "They say that variety is the spice of life, but is it always better?"
• "It's easy to get lost in the details, but sometimes all we need is a little comparison to see things clearly."
• "They say that everything is relative, but is that really true?"

Hook Examples For Research Papers

Crafting an effective research hook can be a powerful way to draw your readers into the world of your paper. 

Examples can provide excellent guidance when crafting this important part of any academic work!

Let's look at some hook examples in writing that can help you with your research paper : 

• "Many people believe that X is the answer, but what does the research say?" 
• "We've all heard about Y, but how does it actually work?" 
• "What can we learn from the mistakes of the past and how can we use that knowledge to move forward?" 
• "How has technology changed the way we do research and what ethical considerations do we need to take into account?" 
• "What are some of the implications of Z and what can we do to address them?" 
• "The debate around A is growing - let's explore both sides and see where the research takes us" 
• "We all have our own opinions on B, but what does the evidence tell us?" 
• "Let's take a look at C and uncover what it really means" 
• "What can we learn from examining the history of D and how can that help us in the present?" 
• "There are many theories surrounding E - let's explore them and draw our own conclusions" 

Hook Examples For Literary Analysis

Literary hook examples provide a great way to hook your readers into a literary analysis essay . 

Let's look at some examples of a great hook sentence here!

• "What secrets do the characters in this story hold and what truths can we uncover?" 
• "What does this piece of literature tell us about the human condition?" 
• "What themes can we uncover by examining this text through a feminist lens?" 
• "What is the author trying to say about society and how can we interpret it?" 
• "How does this story stand out from others in its genre and what makes it unique?" 
• "Let's explore the symbolism and imagery used in this piece of literature" 
• "What message is the author trying to convey and how can that help us better understand the world we live in?" 
• "The setting of this story plays an important role - let's examine it more closely" 
• "How does the use of language in this text help to convey its themes and ideas?" 
• "What can we learn about human nature by analyzing the characters in this story?" 

Paragraph Hook Examples 

Writing can be challenging, especially when it comes to crafting engaging openings. Here are ten hook ideas that might inspire your next paragraph:

• "We all have our guilty pleasures, whether it's binge-watching reality TV or devouring junk food."
• "Technology has transformed every aspect of our lives, from how we work and communicate to how we entertain ourselves."
• "History is full of fascinating stories and characters. Let's shine a light on the forgotten voices of the past."
• "Climate change is one of the most pressing issues of our time, but what can we do to address it?"
• "Language is a powerful tool for communication, but it can also be a source of confusion and misunderstanding."
• "The human brain is a mysterious and complex organ, capable of incredible feats of creativity and intelligence. Let's delve into the latest research on how our brains work."
• "Art has the power to inspire, challenge, and transform us. But what is it about certain works of art that make them timeless and universal?"
• "Identity is a complex and multifaceted concept, shaped by factors like race, gender, sexuality, and class."
• "Philosophy has been a source of inquiry and debate for centuries, but how can it help us navigate the complexities of modern life?"
• "Food is not just a source of sustenance, but a reflection of culture, history, and identity."

Query Letter Hook Examples

Query letter hook examples are a great way to engage your potential readers and agents. 

• "This story will make you question everything you thought you knew." 
• "Uncover an extraordinary tale of courage and determination." 
• "Discover the power of hope in this heartfelt journey of transformation." 
• "Follow a gripping story of passion and adventure." 
• "Journey with a character on a quest to find the truth." 
• "Experience an unforgettable tale of mystery and intrigue." 
• "Meet a remarkable cast of characters in this stirring journey of discovery." 
• "Go behind the scenes with a daring group of heroes." 
• "Explore a world of mystery and wonder with a captivating story." 
• "Be swept away in this thrilling adventure of courage and hope."  ? 

Hook Examples For Presentation

Presentation hooks are a remarkable way to captivate your audience and keep them engaged in your presentation. You can use interesting facts and statistic hooks as well!

With examples, you can create compelling stories or images that will make quite an impact!

• "We all know that X is important, but why is it so crucial to our lives?" 
• "What can we learn from the successes and failures of Y?" 
• "Let's explore how technology has changed the way we do Z and how that affects our lives" 
• "What is the one thing we need to know about A in order to understand its significance?" 
• "We've all heard about B, but what does it really mean for us?" 
• "What are the implications of C and how can we use that knowledge to our advantage?" 
• "Let's take a look at the history and evolution of D" 
• "How does E affect our daily lives and what can we do about it?" 
• "What are some of the potential benefits of F and what risks do we need to consider?" 
• "What has been the impact of G on our society and how can we use it to make positive changes?" 

Hook Examples For Introduction 

Introduction hook examples provide a great way to make a strong statement. 

• "Welcome to the world of X - let's dive in and see what it has to offer" 
• "We all know Y, but why is it so important?" 
• "What can we learn from the successes and failures of Z?" 
• "Let's take a journey through the history of A and uncover its secrets" 
• "How has technology changed the way we do C and what ethical considerations do we need to take into account?" 
• "What are some of the implications of D and what can we do to address them?" 
• "The debate around E is growing - let's explore both sides and see where the research takes us" 
• "Let's examine the facts and uncover what F really means" 
• "What can we learn from exploring the history of G and how can that help us in the present?" 

Concluding Hook Examples 

Writing a strong conclusion can be just as challenging as crafting an engaging opening. Here are closing hook examples that might help inspire you.

• "As we bring this discussion to a close, it's clear that [thesis statement]. But what are the implications of this insight for our lives and society as a whole?"
• "In the end, the examples we've explored illustrate the complexity and nuance of [topic]. But what does this mean for us moving forward?"
• "The evidence we've presented highlights the urgent need for [action or change]. So where do we go from here?"
• "As we wrap up this conversation, let's remember that [key takeaway or lesson]. How can we apply this insight to our own lives?"
• "The stories and characters we've examined offer a window into the human experience and our capacity for growth and transformation. What can we learn from their journeys?"
• "As we conclude this discussion, let's reflect on what this means for us as individuals and as a society."
• "The examples we've explored have shed light on the complexities and nuances of [topic]. But what are the broader implications of this understanding?"
• "As we come to the end of this essay, it's clear that [thesis statement]. But how can we use this knowledge to make a positive difference in the world?"
• "In conclusion, the evidence we've presented challenges us to rethink our assumptions about [topic]. Let's take this opportunity to broaden our perspectives and deepen our understanding."
• "As we close out this conversation, let's remember the power of human connection to heal and transform."

Hook Examples For Personal Statement

Crafting an attention-grabbing hook for your personal statement can be a great way to increase engagement and draw readers in. 

Utilizing examples of successful hooks is an excellent strategy to help you create one that stands out!

• "How have my experience and values shaped who I am today?" 
• "What makes me unique from other applicants and how can that help me succeed?" 
• "How have my past experiences, both good and bad, helped me understand the importance of X?" 
• "What do I know about Y that makes me stand out from other applicants?" 
• "Let's explore how my skillset can help me achieve success in Z" 
• "What have I learned from the people around me and how has that shaped my goals?" 
• "In what ways can I use my knowledge of A to make a difference?" 
• "How will B help me grow as an individual and achieve my dreams?" 
• "What have I learned through C that has helped me become a better person?" 
• "What can I offer that makes me the ideal candidate for this role?" 

Catchy Hook Examples

Captivating hook examples are an excellent way to grab your readers' attention and entice them into the content.

• "Are you ready for X? It's time to find out!" 
• "Discover the shocking truth about Y" 
• "Let's uncover the hidden secrets of Z" 
• "Unlock the power of A - it will blow your mind" 
• "B will change your life - here's how to get started" 
• "What does C mean for us? Let's find out!" 
• "Are you ready to take on the challenge of D?" 
• "Can E really change your life? Let's find out" 
• "F can provide incredible opportunities - here's how to get started" 
• "Discover the hidden potential of G - it will amaze you!" 

Hook Examples For Romeo and Juliet Essays

Romeo and Juliet is one of the most iconic love stories in literary history. But what is it about this tragic tale that continues to captivate audiences centuries after it was written? 

Here are some hook ideas that might inspire your essay:

• "What makes Romeo and Juliet one of the most enduring love stories of all time? Let's explore the themes and motifs that continue to captivate audiences today."
• "From sword fights to sonnets, Romeo and Juliet has it all. But what is it about Shakespeare's language and imagery that makes the play so memorable?"
• "Romeo and Juliet may seem like a straightforward story of love and tragedy, but what if there's more to it than meets the eye?"
• "The feud between the Capulets and Montagues may seem like a typical Shakespearean conflict. But what does it reveal about the tensions and rivalries of Renaissance-era Italy?"
• "What can Romeo and Juliet teach us about the power of passion and desire? Let's explore how the play challenges conventional morality and ethics."
• "Romeo and Juliet has been adapted countless times in popular culture, but what can we learn from the original play? Let's examine how Shakespeare's work continues to influence modern storytelling."
• "The tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet may seem predetermined, but what if the characters had made different choices? Let's explore the different paths the story could have taken."
• "Romeo and Juliet is often seen as a story of youthful passion, but what about the older characters in the play? Let's analyze the roles of Friar Lawrence and the Nurse in shaping the course of events."
• "Shakespeare's play may be set in Renaissance-era Italy, but its themes and motifs are universal. Let's examine how Romeo and Juliet speaks to contemporary issues and debates."
• "The balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet is one of the most iconic moments in all of literature, but what is it about this scene that makes it so powerful? Let's explore the language, imagery, and symbolism at play."

Hook Examples For Social Media 

Social media has become a ubiquitous part of modern life, with billions of users around the world. But what is it about social media that has captured our attention and kept us hooked?

Here are some social media hook examples for you:

• "Social media is like a never-ending rabbit hole, with endless scrolling and new content to explore."
• "With social media, we have the power to connect with people from all over the world, but at what cost to our privacy and mental health?"
• "The rise of social media has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created a new set of challenges for individuals and society as a whole."
• "From Instagram influencers to TikTok trends, social media has given rise to a whole new world of digital fame and fortune."
• "In the age of social media, we are more connected than ever before, but are we really communicating?"
• "What happens when the platform becomes a battleground for toxic behavior and hate speech?"
• "From Facebook to Twitter, social media has revolutionized the way we consume news and information."
• "Social media has made it easier than ever to connect with people who share our interests and passions."
• "With social media, we can curate the perfect image of ourselves and our lives. But is this curated image an accurate reflection of who we really are?"
• "Social media has opened up new opportunities for businesses and entrepreneurs."

Tips for Writing A Good Hook  

A hook is the first sentence or phrase in your writing that captures your reader's attention. 

A good hook is essential for any successful piece of writing, whether it's a novel, an essay, or a blog post. 

Here are some tips for writing a good hook that will engage your readers and keep them interested:

• Start with an interesting fact or statistic: People love to learn new things. Starting with a surprising or little-known fact can be a great way to capture your reader's attention.
• Ask a thought-provoking question: Asking a question that challenges your reader's assumptions or beliefs can be a powerful way to hook them to thinking.
• Use descriptive language: Descriptive language can create a vivid picture in your reader's mind and draw them into your story or argument.
• Create a sense of urgency: If your writing is about a timely or important topic, creating a sense of urgency in your hook can be an effective way to grab your reader's attention.
• Start with a quote: A quote from a famous person or an expert in your field can lend credibility to your writing and pique your reader's interest.
• Share a personal anecdote: Sharing a personal story or experience can make your writing feel more relatable and human, and can help to build a connection with your reader.

Writing a hook for your essay can be a challenge, but with the right approach, you can create one that will capture your reader's attention. 

If you're looking for some guidance to help you craft the perfect hook, CollegeEssay.org offers the best essay writing service to help you!

Stop wasting your time trying to craft the perfect hook and let CollegeEssay.org take care of it for you! 

Enhance your writing skills by utilizing our essay writer AI . Take advantage of this valuable resource to improve your writing abilities.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a hook example.

A hook example refers to an opening sentence of a piece of writing that is meant to grab the reader's attention and entice them to continue reading. 

Good hooks may use descriptive words, strong verbs, vivid imagery, or engaging dialogue to draw readers in.

How can I come up with a good hook?

Coming up with a good hook requires that you know your audience and the purpose of your writing.

Consider what interests readers in this particular topic or area.Use that to create an engaging opening sentence that will pique their curiosity.

Barbara P (Literature, Marketing)

Barbara is a highly educated and qualified author with a Ph.D. in public health from an Ivy League university. She has spent a significant amount of time working in the medical field, conducting a thorough study on a variety of health issues. Her work has been published in several major publications.

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How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay

What’s covered:, developing your hook.

• 5 College Essay Hook Examples

5 Tips and Examples for Crafting a Great Hook

Your essay is one of the best tools available for standing out in a crowded field of college applicants (many with academic portfolios similar to yours) when applying to your dream school. A college essay is your opportunity to show admissions committees the person behind the grades, test scores, and resume. To ensure your college essay receives the full attention of admissions committees, you need to lure them in with a great hook—that is, a compelling opening that makes your audience hungry for more.

You need a strong start to capture the attention of the admission committees. When it comes to college essays, first impressions are everything. In fact, there’s no guarantee that anyone is going to read more than your first sentence if you bore them to tears within a few words, which is why it’s essential to craft an effective and engaging hook.

There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for composing an attention-grabbing hook. A well-crafted hook can be anything from an image to an anecdote to an interesting fact while factors like writing style, essay structure, and prompt can all influence what makes for a good hook. That said, memorable hooks share a number of attributes, most notably they draw readers in,  connect with the topic you’re writing about, and leave a lasting impression, often in a creative or unexpected way.

For example, let’s construct a hypothetical essay. Let’s say that after some careful consideration, Jane Doe has decided to write her personal essay about her experience running canine obedience classes. She isn’t quite sure how to start her essay, so she’s practicing with some proven essay hooks. If you’re ready to develop your own hook, check out four of our favorite college essay hook strategies and how they work for Jane below!

College Essay Hook Examples

There are a number of proven strategies that Jane can use to craft a compelling hook. A few tried-and-true hooks include:

1. Open with an Anecdote

People love stories, so it makes sense that telling one is a great way to attract readers. Detailing a relevant anecdote provides context for your essay and can give the reader an idea of what you are up against if you’re overcoming an obstacle or rising to a challenge.

On the day that I told my mother I wanted to start my own canine obedience school, she smiled and muttered something under her breath about the irony of my youthful disobedience and my newfound passion for enforcing rules. What she didn’t know then was that it was not in spite of, but rather because of, my tendency to push the boundaries that I was confident in my ability to succeed.

2. Set the Scene

One fantastic way to get your essay moving and to draw your readers in is to plunge them into the middle of an important scene. Provide readers with descriptive details and dialogue to make them feel like they’re watching a movie from your life and have just tuned in at a critical moment.

I jumped back as the dog lunged for my leg, teeth bared and snarling. “It’s okay, Smokey, it’s okay,” I soothed as I tried to maneuver closer to the post where I had tied his leash. In the back of my head, I heard my brother’s taunts swirling around.

“A dog trainer?” he had scoffed. “What kind of person would hire you as a dog trainer?!”

I pushed the thoughts away and grasped the leash, pulling it tightly to my side as Smokey, surprised by my sudden confidence, fell into stride beside me.

3. Ask a Question

Asking a question at the beginning of your essay can activate your reader’s critical thinking and get them hungry for the answer that you won’t offer until later. Try to come up with a question that’s broad enough that they won’t know the answer right away, but specific enough that it isn’t a generic hook that could work on just any college essay.

How do you respond when you’re faced with a very real physical threat to your safety, yet you literally can’t afford to back down? This is the question I faced on my very first day as a dog trainer.

4. Use a Metaphor or Simile

A metaphor or simile can pull readers in by helping them make connections between seemingly unrelated topics or by encouraging them to think about topics from a different point of view.

Running canine obedience classes is a lot like navigating high school. It’s a dog-eat-dog world with a lot to learn, many personalities to manage, peril around every corner, and everyone anxious to graduate.

Selecting the right hook is a great first step for writing a winning college essay, but the execution is also important.

1. Narrow Down Your Scope

Sometimes the best way to tackle big projects like writing an attention-grabbing hook or captivating college essay is to think small. Narrow down on a specific incident or even a moment that leads into your topic.

It’s my first time teaching a canine obedience class. I’m surrounded by strangers and the dogs are barking so loud I can’t hear myself think, but I have a gnawing feeling that I’m losing control. I put my fingers to my lips and let out the loudest whistle I’m capable of. Suddenly there was silence.

2. Use Adjectives

Adjectives are used to add a description and make your writing clearer and more specific. In other words, they’re the details that make your writing stand out and suck readers in. Jane didn’t simply reward the dog for sitting, she…

It was a battle of wills between me and the eight-month-old Australian Shepherd—defiance was in his sparkling blue eyes, but so was desire for the bit of hot dog hiding in my hand. Reluctantly he sat, earning his treat while I claimed my alpha status.

3. Use Emotion

Use emotion to connect and entice your reader. Emotions make readers feel, pulling them into your essay, and are memorable. You can use them for everything from sharing a fact about yourself to putting the reader in your shoes.

When I was young, I would have been extremely lonely if not for my dog Trevor. I struggled to make friends and Trevor provided companionship, helped me overcome my shyness (he was a great icebreaker), and is responsible for shaping who I am today. When Trevor passed away in high school, I set out to train canine obedience and help dogs become the best versions of themselves—just like what Trevor did for me.

4. Short and Sweet

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read, so the quicker you get to the point and capture their attention, the better.

Mere moments into my dream job, someone had already peed on the floor and another had bitten a person. Welcome to the life of a dog trainer.

5. Just Start Writing

Sometimes the hook of your college essay isn’t clear. Rather than getting hung up, start developing your essay and see if it adds clarity as to how to best implement a hook. Some students even find that it’s easiest to write a hook last, after writing the body of the personal statement.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay Hook

Wondering if you created an effective hook? It’s difficult to evaluate your own writing, especially a line or two you read and reworked numerous times. CollegeVine can help. Through our free Peer Essay Review tool , you can get a free review of your hook, and overall essay, from another student. Then you can pay it forward and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write Great Essay Hooks (Tips + Examples)

Table of contents

Yona Schnitzer

Blank screen. Cursor blinks. Clock ticks. Brain freezes.

You stressfully wonder, “How will I ever finish this essay?”

I’ve been there. 

Every time you write an essay, you want to catch your readers’ undivided attention from the very first word. The opening hook has to be *perfect* — no compromises. 

But, instead of reeling under pressure to come up with this elusively perfect essay hook at the eleventh hour, I’ve found a better way to write great essay hooks. 

In this guide, I’ll tell you what it takes to write the most compelling and attention-grabbing hooks. I’ll also break down six awesome types of essay hooks you can experiment with and share examples to inspire your next opening statement.

What is an Essay Hook?

An essay hook is the opening statement of an essay, written to capture readers' attention and nudge them to learn more about the topic. Also known as a lede or lead, this hook introduces readers to the topic/theme of the essay and piques their curiosity to continue reading. 

The hook creates the entire narrative for your essay. It tells readers what to expect from the rest of the essay and creates context around your main argument or thesis statement. 

6 Types of Essay Hooks You Can Experiment With

I’ve created this handy list of six different types of essay hooks. You can choose the one that best fits your essay’s context and create a stellar opening statement within minutes. 

1. Compelling fact or statistic

Lead with evidence and use a powerful fact or statistic as your essay hook. It’s one of the best ways to capture readers’ attention from the start and keep them intrigued throughout your essay. 

For example, if you’re writing about the importance of time management for freelancers, you have two options to create your opening sentence:

Generic : “Managing time as a freelancer is no easy feat.”

Impactful : “Nearly 70% of freelancers struggle to effectively divide and manage their time between multiple clients.” 

This data point, linked to the original research, sets a strong tone for your essay and draws people in to read more. It communicates  

Find a shocking statistic with AI

Finding relevant statistics for any topic is one of the hardest parts of the job. 

But you don't have to spend hours looking for these data points anymore. Wordtune can do this heavy lifting for you in three easy steps.

• Open the Wordtune editor and add your essay title. 
• Type in any content you've written, click on 'Add spice,' and select the 'Expand on' option.
• Write 'statistics,' and Wordtune will add relevant data points to your content.

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2. Bold claim hook

When working on an argumentative essay , I always write with the mindset that nobody has the time to read my thoughts from start to finish. So, I have to get to the point quickly and make a solid argument worth people’s time. 

That's when opening with a bold claim works best. Condense all your views on the topic into a few thought-provoking lines that would make readers go, hmmm…

But remember, you can't open with a claim that people already know and accept as fact. It has to be something original and unique to make your readers tick, nudging them to dive deeper into your essay. 

For example, if you’re writing about water crisis, you have two options to open your essay: 

‍ "In some regions, there is not enough clean water for people to use."

‍ "Imagine a world where every drop of water is a battle, a precious commodity fought over by scores of people and animals alike. This can become a reality as early as 2050."

This bold claim presents a convincing argument about the global water crisis. It also emphasizes the urgency of this argument with a research-backed statistic.

Create a bold claim suggestion using AI

Can’t think of a strong opening sentence for your essay? Wordtune can translate your thoughts into a bold claim and create a compelling essay hook. 

Open your Wordtune editor and write a few lines related to your topic. These sentences should have a consensus among your audience. Then, choose the 'Counterargument' option from the list of suggestions. 

And you’ll have a bold claim for your essay with no effort at all!

3. Story/Anecdote hook

In all my years of writing, I’ve noticed how stories have a unique effect on people. A good story can resonate with a bigger audience, pique their curiosity, and deliver a more personal message. 

That's why you can cite a personal anecdote or talk about a publicly known story as a good hook for your essay. This hook allows you to play with words and work in more storytelling . 

One of my favorite writing tips applies here: enter the scene as late as possible and leave as early as possible. You have to keep it crisp instead of rambling on and on. 

Consider these two examples:

Either of these hooks could work fine if we were just writing a personal essay about a move to a new place. But if we’re specifically writing about the sky, the second example is better. It sticks to the point — the sky and the color of the sky — and doesn’t stray into irrelevant details. 

Create a compelling story with AI

I get it—not all of us are natural storytellers. But you can use AI to your advantage to create a concise and exciting story for your essay.  

Wordtune can help you write a short story from scratch or trim down your writing into a quick anecdote. Click on the expand or shorten button to edit your story any way you like. 

4. Question Hook

Humans have a tendency to immediately look for answers every time they come across fascinating questions. Using questions as essay hooks can reel people into your essay and feed their curiosity.

But questions are also fairly overused in essays. You don't want to use a generic question that makes people say, " Not another question ." 

Instead, think of questions that approach your topic from a fresh angle. This means honing in on what was especially interesting or surprising from your research—and maybe even brainstorming different questions to find the most fascinating one.

For example, if you’re writing about the psychology behind why we buy, you have two options to open your essay:

‍ “Do you know what factors compel us to buy certain things?”

Plugged in :

“Before buying anything, have you ever taken a moment to pause and think about possible reasons driving you to this purchase?”

The latter is more descriptive and creates a realistic scenario for readers to truly think about the topic of the essay.

5. Description hook

A descriptive hook works best when writing an explanatory or opinion-led essay. Descriptive hooks, as the name suggests, illustrate a topic in detail to create context for the essay. It's a good way to build awareness for and educate readers on lesser-known themes.

But a descriptive hook can easily become too plain or unexciting to read. To make it work, you have to write an engaging description using imagery, analogies, and other figures of speech. 

Remember to make your hook reader-friendly by avoiding passive voice, mainstream cliches, and lengthy sentences.

Consider this example:

Describing a sunset is too cliche, so cross that one off the list. Describing the sky as it is on a normal day wouldn't be shocking or unexpected, so scratch that one, too.

This example creates something unique by using analogies to describe the color of the sky and painting a beautiful picture. 

Write a gripping description with AI

Writing an exciting hook for a boring topic is more challenging than it looks. But Wordtune makes it a breeze with just two steps:

• Open the Wordtune editor and write your essay topic.
• Click on Explain or Emphasize and let it work its magic.

You can also change the tone of voice to make the text more in tune with your theme. 

6. Metaphor hook

One of my favorite essay hooks is to open with a persuasive metaphor to contextualize the topic. Metaphors can help you approach the topic from a completely different lens and wow your readers with interesting insight. 

Metaphors are also super versatile to make your writing more impactful. You can write a one-line metaphor or create a scenario comparing one thing to another and linking it to your topic. 

For example, if you’re writing about the experience of working at a startup, you can open your essay with these two options:

Short & sweet: "Joining a startup is like strapping into a rollercoaster: be ready to witness thrilling highs and sinking drops."

Long & descriptive : “Picture a small sailboat navigating the unpredictable winds and tides in a vast ocean. That’s a startup operating in a massive market. And with the right vision, this journey is filled with risks and rewards.” 

Create a convincing metaphor with AI

Writing good metaphors takes up a lot of creative brain power. You can always use Wordtune to find some extra inspiration if you're out of creative ideas. 

Type your opening line in the Wordtune editor and click on the 'Give an analogy' option. You can ask for as many suggestions as you want till you find the best one! 

What to Know About Your Essay (and Topic) Before You Write the Hook

Whether you’re writing a research paper on economics, an argumentative essay for your college composition class, or a personal essay sharing your thoughts on a topic, you need to nail down a few things before you settle on the first line for your essay.

‍ Let me break them down for you. 

1. Gain in-depth knowledge of your topic

Before you start writing your essay, you need to know your topic — not just in name, but in-depth. You don't have to become a subject matter expert overnight. But you do need to research the topic inside out 

Your research will help you:

• Narrow your focus
• Build an argument
• Shape the narrative

Your research insights determine your essay’s structure and guide your choice of hook. 

After organizing your research in a neat outline, think to yourself: ‍Did you uncover a shocking fact? A compelling anecdote? An interesting quote? Any of those things could be your hook.

⚡ ‍ Take action: After finishing your research, review your notes and think through your essay. Mark or make a list of anything compelling enough to be a good lead.

2. Type of essay

In academic settings, there are generally three kinds of essays:

• Argumentative: Making the case for a certain stance or route of action.
• Expository: Explaining the who, what, when, where, why, and how of some phenomenon.
• Narrative: Telling a true story as a way to explore different ideas.

‍ The type of essay you’re writing is key to choosing the best hook for your piece. 

A serious argumentative essay can start with a shocking statistic or a bold claim. And an expository essay can open with a descriptive hook while a metaphor hook would work best for a narrative essay.

⚡ ‍ Take action: Go through your list of potential hooks and cross out anything that doesn't fit the type of essay you're writing, whether it's persuasive , argumentative, or any other type.

3. Audience and tone

A best practice I often share with writers is to think of one reader and keep yourself in their shoes . This exercise can tell you so much about your audience — what kind of tone they like, what matters the most to them, what topics interest them, and so on. 

You can use these insights to create a compelling essay hook. Here’s how:

• For an argumentative essay, you’re trying to convince someone who doesn’t agree with you that what you’re claiming is right or, at least, reasonable. You don’t want to turn them off with snarky or offensive language — but you do want to be authoritative. Your hook should match that tone and support your effort.
• A narrative essay is likely to welcome more lyrical language, so starting with a colorful description or an anecdote might make more sense than, say, a bold claim or surprising fact. Whatever tone you choose for your narrative essay — comical or gentle or bold — should be used for your hook.
• ‍ Expository essays can use all sorts of tones and be written to a variety of audiences, so think carefully about the tone that best fits your subject matter. An essay explaining how the human body shuts down when overdosed will likely require a different tone than one on the lives of circus masters in the late 1800s. 

⚡ ‍ Take action: Look at your list. Can you write these potential hooks in a tone that suits your subject and audience?

4. Length of essay

Are you writing a 10-page paper or a three-page reflection? Or is this your senior thesis, pushing over 100 pages?

‍ If you’re writing a shorter paper, you’ll want to keep your hook quick and snappy.  

Readers are expecting a quick read, and they don’t want to spend five minutes only going through the introduction. 

In contrast, you can approach a longer essay — like a senior thesis or a term paper — with a longer hook. Just make sure your hook relates to and supports the core point of your essay. You don’t want to waste space describing a scene that ultimately has nothing to do with the rest of your piece.

⚡ ‍ Take action: If you write out the items on your list, how long will they be? A sentence or paragraph? Perfect. Two to five paragraphs? Unless your essay is on the longer side, you may want to save that information for later in the piece.

‍ Now that you know the basic facts about what you’re writing, let’s look at some approaches you could use to catch those readers — and reel them in.

3 Approaches to Avoid When Writing Hooks 

I’ve read hundreds of essays — enough to recognize lazy writing from the first few words. It’s equally easy for readers to discard your essays as ‘poorly written’ just by reading the first line. 

So, I made a list of three types of essay hooks you want to avoid at all costs because these hooks can only disappoint your readers. 

1. Quotations

Quotes are probably the most overused type of hook in any form of writing. What's even worse is rinsing and repeating the same old quotes from Abraham Lincoln or Nelson Mandela in your essays. 

No matter how powerful a quote sounds, you shouldn’t slap it at the opening of your essay. It doesn’t give readers the excitement of reading something original and looks lazy.

For example, if you’re writing an essay on productivity, here’s what a good and bad lede looks like:

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work” – Stephen King

Did you know that consuming 100 gms of sugar can slash your productivity levels by over 50% in a day?  

2. Definitions

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines a hook as "a thing designed to catch people's attention." 

If I opened my article with this dictionary definition of a hook, you’d have either dozed off or left this page long back to find something more interesting. 

Here's the thing: definitions put people to sleep. Readers don't want to see a formal, jargon-heavy definition of a topic as the very first line of an essay. Your opening statement should have some personality in it to show readers they're in for an exciting read. 

For example, if you’re writing about happy hormones, here’s what a good and bad lede looks like:

Happy hormones are known to boost the happiness levels in your body by creating positive feelings.

Ever wondered why cat videos make you instantly happy, and ice creams give you an extra dose of energy? It's all about how happy hormones control our brain chemistry.

3. “Imagine this”

Opening your essay with "Imagine this" used to be an interesting way to put your readers in a scenario and set the context for your essay. But now, it's far too cliched and just another lazy attempt to write an essay hook. 

You can create a relatable scenario for users without asking them to imagine or picture it. Use the descriptive hook format with an interesting choice of words to convey the same ideas more creatively.

For example, if you’re writing an essay on preparing for higher studies abroad, here’s what a good and bad lede looks like:

Imagine this: You’ve been applying to multiple universities, writing SOPs, and preparing for exams without guidance. Everything can go south any minute. 

College application season is officially here. But with each passing day, you’re under more and more stress to apply to your chosen colleges and tick all the items off your list.

‍Our Go-To Trick for Writing Catchy Hooks

This opening statement can make or break your entire essay. While I’ve broken down my best tips to create the best essay hooks, here’s a surefire way to write compelling openings :

Go through your notes and either outline your essay or write the whole thing. This way, you’ll know the central thread (or throughline) that runs throughout your piece. 

Once your essay or outline is complete, go back through and identify a particularly compelling fact, claim, or example that relates to that central thread.

‍Write up that fact, claim, or example as the hook for your essay using any of the methods we’ve covered. Then revise or write your essay so the hook leads smoothly into the rest of the piece and you don’t repeat that information elsewhere.

Does your hook spark curiosity in you? 

Did that fact surprise you in the research stage? 

Chances are, your readers will have the same reaction.

And that’s exactly what you want.

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