essay about a time i discovered a secret

Essay on My Secret

My Secret The first real secret I ever had began when I was nine years old. I’m not talking about when someone tells you something and you keep it to yourself—it’s more like when you know something or have seen something that no one else has, and telling someone about it takes away from your pleasure, from your secret. My secret happened at Fish Lake. The summer trips that my family took to that small natural lake tucked neatly into the Trinity Alps just south of the Hoopa Valley Indian Reservation became somewhat of a ritual. It was an activity that just sort of happened of its own accord once every year, and we all just seemed to be along for the ride. My dad said it was the fact that the lake was too small for …show more content…

As a result, I spent a lot of hours of my vacation just walking through the woods and the campground, around the lake, and over all of the roads. I don’t know exactly why my parents understood my need for solitude, but my mom didn’t seem to notice when I was gone for such long stretches of time. When I would return, our eyes would lock for the briefest instant, and I would think, she understands. That seemed to be good enough for both of us. The summer of my ninth year was our second trip to the lake. There was a small general store at the junction of the access road and Highway 91, and it was a good twenty-minute walk from the campground. My travels often carried me to the store, sometimes to buy some candy or baseball cards, sometimes just to sit on the steps and have a coke. The storekeeper was a plump woman whose age seemed beyond measure to me. Her hair was dark but streaked with steely grey, and there were millions of tiny wrinkles around her eyes, which were a soft and trusting brown. I saw him one day as I sat on the store’s dusty porch in the hottest part of the day. I was partially aware of the lazy drone of the summer insects in my ears, and the half-hearted radio broadcast wafting from inside the store. I loved sitting on that porch with the sun high over head, making my thoughts slow and pleasant, like a small river that goes nowhere in

Essay Maintaining Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a term that indicates preserving the privacy of the persons in which you care for. This

Bernie Monologue

I did not like keeping secrets. I felt guilty. This was a secret I kept. This secret could not be told.

Negative Effects Of The Asian Carp

In the mid 70’s, my family bought a cabin on the Illinois River. We spent all our free time there, weekends and most of the summer. For years my family enjoyed their time at the “clubhouse” as we called it. It was our home away from home. There were about 20 cabins there, so it was like our own little community. Just about everyone there was like extended family. Any time someone needed help, the neighbors showed up. Everyone there had similar interests, hunting, fishing, boating and water skiing. I spent most of my days enjoying these activities.

Descriptive Essay On Wisconsin Wonders

Arriving in the overgrown drive way trees start to crowd your vision, in the middle of all the trees I see an old beach house; that has stayed the same over the 18 years I have been going up there. Grandma is waiting outside on the front porch we all run up to give her a hug, then we go and start unpacking for a week’s worth of relaxing. First thing we do when were done unpacking is go to the old but new play structure. We sit on the swings and look out towards the big blue Michigan Lake. White caps cover most of the water along with passing boats, and some kayakers. Right over the horizon I can see the lights from the town, reaching into the sky. The sun is starting to set; the sky is painted with pink, orange, and yellow.

Personal Narrative: Union Camp Waterfall

I live in a small town that goes by the name of Lafayette. The population is 4,500. Everyone knows where everything is, when everything is, and what everything is. As a child, my mother and I would go to a beautiful waterfall on a small back road when the sun was shining, when the trees and rocks were just right, and when it was damp and perfect for four wheeler rides. The Union Camp waterfall is majestic. The scenery makes a person speechless. We would always go when the weather was perfect. The waterfall is one childhood memory I will always remember. The activities my mother and I would do were always a blast. My trips to Union Camp waterfall are memorable because of the scenery, the weather, and the activities.

My Father In The Grapes Of Wrath

One more turn, passing people on motorcycles, and we finally reached our lake. Batsto lake was beautiful. The destination made it even more special as it seemed almost like my sister and I had tumbled across land we could call our own. Almost as if we were explorers who came across land untouched by mankind. Trees surrounded us, creating shade for the few other cars that were parked on the dirt beach. They were families who shared the same idea of old-fashioned fun.

Personal Narrative-Coleman Lake

I lethargically began to move the oars across the glass of waters of Coleman Lake. The 12ft emerald row boat glides on top of the surface making its way to the opposite side of the lake. I continue rowing observing the breath taking views of this pristine lake, I swivel my head around and focus on these rustic cabins that are scattered around the lake, holding decades of memories with them as they start to sag towards me. I prop my oars up and reach around for the

Sawmill Canyon: A Short Story

Every year Since I was 14 me and my father would go on a hike in autumn. But this last year I went alone, He couldn't make it. However that was not a deterrent. When I arrived at Sawmill canyon the sun was shining down but it was brisk. It was a long ways to go to Aliso Spring. I'm not sure how many miles the journey is but every step is worth it. The trip only lasts about 3 days before we usually packed up. But I can see the reason why, there is no one out there. But you never really alone, however you are always in solitude.

Personal Narrative Essay: Wicklund's Home

I looked forward to this trip every single year. Driving to get there was almost better than the camping trip itself. The road had big hills that made your stomach drop on the way down, and I always pretended I was on a roller coaster. At the top of one of those hills, there was a wooden sign, painted brown with yellow letters, all in capitals, that said “WICKLUND’S CAMPGROUND”. The driveway was a simple, downhill dirt road that had a bend at the bottom of the decline. Driving around that corner, you could always see the lake sparkling through the thin line of trees because the sun was always shining. It was cloudy that day.

Living On The Trail Of A Supper Of Fried Fish, Grits, And Biscuits

After a supper of fried fish, grits, and biscuits, the children’s bellies were full and their imaginations were running wild- they hadn’t completely forgotten living on the trail- The same as when they were younger, they wanted Charity to tell them a story before they went to sleep. She smiled at their eagerness, remembering all the stories she had told them at night while they were on the trail from Sandersville to Canton. It seemed that once they were settled in a house and not camping under the stars, the need for her bedtime stories were no longer necessary. Living on the trail seemed to bring her children much closer to her; she missed living that way…

Moles Mound

My camping experience as a child left an indelible mark on my life it is a day I will never forget. It was my first introduction to the “countryside” and the simple tranquility it holds over the busy, fast-paced life of any city. Later on during the eight-week trip, we had been taught how to ride horses, how to shoot a bow and arrow, swim, kayak, fish, and so much more. While I do not often have the time to go camping and have yet to do so since Big Silver, the memory is always there to remind me of an activity I could do that will provide rest during stressful

Personal Narrative: My Family In South Dakota

My family drives everywhere so the summer of 2015, we began our long trek north. On the way, my family stopped at many famous areas like the Badlands in South Dakota and other areas. My family arrived at a lake called Lake Sylvan hoping to relax for a bit and soak in the sunshine, while I made plans to explore.

The Face On The Milk Carton Summary

Everyday no one ever paid attention to the missing children on the milk carton’s in the cafeteria, till one day Janie Johnson chugged the milk of her friend, Sarah-Charlotte, and glanced at the face on the milk carton. Something seemed awfully familiar with the girl, maybe a little too familiar, She became over flown with memories of herself. That was her on the milk carton, but how could it be she has a loving family, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, that she could never imagine being her kidnappers? How in such a calm old neighborhood?

Behind Closed Doors Essay

2 Works Cited

Over the years, many people have believed that the issue of sexual harassment should not be discussed in public. Sexual harassment was to be discussed behind closed doors. In spite of this, the social and political systems have changed instantaneously. This social problem has affected men and women throughout time; however, it seems that the women of our society more closely look at this issue. This social topic has encouraged women to establish organizations in order to help them discuss the issues more openly and to demand equality including fairness and justice throughout the workplace and in their social lives as well. In recent years, sexual harassment has been one of the most serious and widespread problems

Essay about Honesty

Imagine this: You are at a McDonald’s drive through. You have ordered only one cheese burger, but when you drive up to the collection window, the young trainee hands you a big bag filled with food and a handful of change. There are two options, do you, A; tell the young trainee that you only ordered a cheese burger, (which cost you only $1.90) and give back to him the big bag of food and handful of change? Or do you, B; say thank you to the young trainee and drive off happily with the huge bag of food and all the change, feeling lucky that the trainee made a mistake with your order.

Why the Secrets You Keep Are Hurting You

It may not be what you think

By Michael Slepian

essay about a time i discovered a secret

Juan Jimenez Getty Images

It hurts to keep secrets. Secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. There is a seemingly obvious explanation for these harms: Hiding secrets is hard work. You have to watch what you say. If asked about something related to the secret, you must be careful not to slip up. This could require evasion or even deception. Constant vigilance and concealment can be exhausting.

New research , however, suggests that the harm of secrets doesn’t really come from the hiding after all. The real problem with keeping a secret is not that you have to hide it, but that you have to live with it, and think about it.

The concept of secrecy might evoke an image of two people in conversation, with one person actively concealing from the other. Yet, such concealment is actually uncommon. It is far more common to ruminate on our secrets. It is our tendency to mind-wander to our secrets that seems most harmful to well-being. Simply thinking about a secret can make us feel inauthentic. Having a secret return to mind, time and time again, can be tiring. When we think of a secret, it can make us feel isolated and alone.

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To better understand the harms of secrecy, my colleagues and I first set out to understand what secrets people keep, and how often they keep them. We found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 people found that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others’ trust.

Across several studies, we asked participants to estimate how frequently they concealed their secret during conversations with others, and also how frequently they thought about the secret outside of social interactions. We found that the more frequently people simply thought about their secrets, the lower their well-being. The frequency of active concealment when interacting with others, however, had no relationship to well-being.

Following up this research, a new paper reveals why thinking about secrets is so harmful. Turning the question around, we examined the consequences of confiding secrets. We found that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind wanders toward the secret in irrelevant moments.

The act of confiding a secret can feel cathartic and relieving . But mere catharsis is not enough. When confiding a secret, what is actually helpful is the conversation that follows. People report that when sharing a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make people feel more confident and capable in coping with the secret. When people find a healthier way of thinking about their secret, they ruminate less on it, and have improved well-being. Our studies suggest that what is important is talking to another person about a secret. A single conversation can lead to a healthier outlook and mind.

This new science of secrecy brings both good and bad news. The bad news is that even when we are not hiding our secrets, they are still very much with us, and can still hurt us. The good news is that even when we choose to still keep something secret, talking to another person can make the world of difference. Secrets don’t have to hurt as much as they do.

Essay On Keeping A Secret

Keeping a secret is hard. In all I’ve learned about secrets over the years, this is always true. After all, people are social creatures, so knowing something of interest that someone else doesn’t know is agonizing. We love to tell others exactly what we’re thinking, and a secret directly interferes with that – its something we can know, think about, but must not say. Its torture. But who wouldn’t go through torture for the ones they love? Recently my friend Derek* and I had a falling out of sorts, completely due to our differing definitions of a secret. By means of this heartbreaking, infuriating, and downright tiring string, I have learned the value of personal perspectives and experiences and their immediate influence on communication. Before this event, Derek and I were the best of friends and were usually seen as uncannily similar. After, we at best carry slightly strained conversations that I’d much rather avoid. To understand the conflict that erupted, a discussion of our different backgrounds is …show more content…

Which is noteworthy, as I’m not one who gets angry or curses. Yet throughout that day, I found myself steadily cursing at Derek in my head as I tried to think of what I should do in light of what I could only see as a betrayal. When I saw him later, I did curse*** and told him off about his apparent inability to hold anything in confidence. We didn’t speak for another six hours, and I definitely considered extending it to days or weeks. However, as a student who aspires to be a counselor, I knew waiting would be immature and only make matters worse. So, as soon as I was too tired to continue clenching my fists and mentally cursing, I sent him a message suggesting we talk. We did, and that was how I discovered our vastly different definitions of a secret. I also discovered that Derek was entirely unremorseful, which I could understand but refused to accept. Because to me, what he did was simply

Unpolished Gem Analysis

‘He probably began to see me as a series of dos and don’ts’ (Page 265) Alice feels that her relationship with her parents impacts her relationships with others and this is again seen as a barrier her culture creates. ‘Don’t you feel frustrated sometimes?’ (Page 239) Alice observes the views Michael has of her relationship and she sees it to be different.

Analysis Of Touching Spirit Bear By Ben Mikaelsen

Have one of he or she’s friends ever dealt with conflict? Probably, Did he or she have a good point-of-view or bad point-of-view, And how did it affect your point-of-view. In Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen a summary is “After smashing peter’s head into the sidewalk he goes to an Alaska island, And after getting mauled by a bear, he goes back to Minneapolis but the circle makes him go back but he has to pay for everything, When Peter comes to the island Cole tries to make it right with him but after Peter beating up Cole Peter says that he forgives Cole”.

Tim O Brien's Secrets

People don 't like to be bored. The reason why some romanticize their secrets

Holden's Journey

As the book says, "Don 't ever tell anybody anything. If

Speak By Laurie Halse Anderson

She accepts that she has no friends, “We were never really, really friends, were we?”(pg. 105, Anderson), but none of them took the time to find out what was actually happening in her life. Melinda is a strong example for others that it is good to have friends, but some people do not need friends to express themselves. Melinda broke through her depressed state all by

Examples Of Relationships In Fahrenheit 451

Without sincere communication and bonding, people quickly grow hopeless, confused, and even mentally insane. Although Mildred and Montag speak to each other, their talks are dry, short, and shallow. An aimless conversation does not serve a purpose in connecting human beings. Instead, it completes the opposite, wasting time. People must adequately connect with others in their relationships to maintain healthy interconnection and show dedication.

The Importance Of Communication In Hotel On The Corner Of Bitter And Sweet

Jaime Ford, author of Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, demonstrates the importance of communication in relationships at any age, with any people. Communication is extremely important for keeping relationships healthy and thriving. Lack of communication can cause arguments, stress, anxiety, and failed relationships. Henry’s childhood relationship with his father is negatively affected by their lack of communication. This lack of communication was caused by a language barrier, which affected their father-son relationship forever.

Underlying Themes In The Happiest Refugee By Anh Do

From this, as well as the use of emotive language and further personal anecdotes, audiences are able to see how even through hardship, the humanisation of an individual and raw emotion present from the past is enough to provide needed guidance and support.

Analysis Of Relational Dialectics In The Film 'Safe Haven'

Communication is a critical foundation of every relationship; without it the relationship is deemed unsuccessful. Unsuccessful communication can result in constant tension, power inequalities and disagreements. Relational Dialectics is a communication theory, formed by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery, in which personal relationships are judged upon the management of tension produced by contradictory forces. (Thrift, 2017). Each of the contradictory forces contain two components, an internal source, between the individuals in the relationship and and external source, which is interference from the outside world.

Essay On Invasion Of Privacy

“Once you’ve lost your privacy, you realize you’ve lost an extremely valuable thing” - Billy Graham. “Invasion of privacy is a legal term. It is used to describe a circumstance where an individual or organization knowingly intrudes upon a person. The intrusion occurs when the person has a reasonable expectation of privacy, such as in a bathroom or locker room”(Winston). There are many factors that help with the loss of privacy these days.

Like The Sun Short Story Analysis

Telling the truth isn 't always easy, but sometimes you just have to do it. Every kid grows up thinking Honesty is the best policy, but is it really? As you grow older, it seems that one loses that mindset. It 's not entirely bad or good. There is one thing that everyone must learn to do, that 's knowing when to tell the truth and when not to tell the truth.

Whistleblower Protection Essay

Abstract Whistleblowing has now became an important aspect to organizations and it reflects governance aspect of the organization. This paper explains problems faced by Whistleblowers over the world. This paper also deals with the legislations on whistleblower protection in India and why some countries are hesitating to introduce whistleblower protection law. It deals with reasons for such hesitations.

Essay On Teenage Privacy

All teenagers want full privacy, and the right to be treated like full grown adults. Parents face a really hard time to understand their kids, they feel like their kids are drifting away from them but they don't know what to do, teenagers want privacy, but is it right to give them what they want? And if not, when is the right age that a person obtains the rights of an adult? parents should know when do kids start developing the ability of conceptual thought, that they should know to what level hey should give their kids privacy, that they should not limit their kids and do things instead of them, That the relationship between them and their kids might change and that it's totally normal, that they should trust their kids and give them

An Essay On The Value Of Honesty

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, honesty is the quality of being fair and trustful. I have always wondered why people succeed and are considered of great importance. Many tend to succeed through illegal paths, which will vanish faster than they think. Real businessmen build their heritage slowly, step by step through honest actions and decisions. A person who’s honest is not weak or fragile, instead, dares to practice honesty, to be considered trustworthy, and to be transparent in everything they do.

Essay On Social Isolation

People whom are on Social Media are twice as likely to feel isolated. As the internet has grown people are seeing it in different light. The name “Social Media” was give as these sites were to bring people together and make them more included in today’s society. Experts on the topic say that in certain areas it’s quite helpful, while others argue how it’s keeping the younger generation away from face to face socializing and making them far more isolated. People feel more inclined to share opinions about SM because of its high impact on today’s online age.

More about Essay On Keeping A Secret

Could I reveal my secret and tell the real story of my life?

I woke up last month to find someone had slipped a novel into my mail slot. The text on the dust jacket got my attention: Ruth, now in her "twilight . . . looks back on a harrowing childhood and on the unaccountable love and happiness that emerged from it." I jumped in. Near the end of the book I came to this line: "If I can't ever tell anyone the true story . . . then no one will ever know me."

I hung on to those words all day.

I happened to be writing an essay about my life and the self-blame I’d long carried about having had cancer. But then I stopped, snagged in that very same way as when I had come to Ruth’s admonition. Would I include a certain seven words?

“I had been molested as a child.”

I don’t believe in coincidences. I thought there was a reason why I couldn’t let go of novelist Carrie Brown’s prescient sentence just as I was trying to write my “true story” for the very first time.

Getting to the point where I could consider putting those seven words down on paper had taken a lifetime. I’d had some bad starts. In 1989, when I was 32 years old, I confided my secret to one of my closest friends, who in turn revealed to me that a recent rape had triggered memories of having been molested by her grandmother. Within the year, with her own secret bleeding into her psyche, my friend — only 26 — took her life.

Soon after, I made another attempt at disclosure, confiding in a new boyfriend, who seemed to love and accept me despite the stained soul that I saw in the mirror. But he betrayed me: He cheated on me, and when I moved out he tried to blackmail me with my secret. To my horror, he sent a postcard (a postcard!) to my office announcing a meeting of sexual abuse survivors at my apartment. The so-called invitation, he threatened, would also be mailed to my entire family — outing me as a victim — unless I agreed to move back in with him.

It got worse, as my ex’s bluster turned into a death threat, and I had to make a decision about what to do. I’ve been good at many things in my life, but standing up for myself hasn’t been one of them. This time, though, I overcame the terror, stood my ground and took him on, starting with a police order of protection. He flinched and disappeared from my life.

Once again I was alone with my secret, which now proved too much for me. I made an appointment with the psychotherapist I’d seen at age 23, when I was just coming out 12 years earlier. For several appointments I dutifully went to his office but couldn’t answer the question: “Why are you here?”

Finally, this is what I wrote down and then read out loud to him:

"As much as I have tried, I can't actually say to you what I need to without reading the words from this paper. . . . I'm afraid to read this because in telling you the story it will become real. But, I need to become real. I'm ready."

I read to him the details of what my paternal grandfather did to me as a young boy, ending with “I don’t know where all of that fear went. It just stayed inside me. I buried it that quickly and that perfectly.”

I continued in therapy and made quiet disclosures to a few of my closest friends, but it didn’t feel like enough.

I had dreams, terrible ones, like the one in which my 8-year-old self was in class and my grandfather entered the room seeking a victim. In the dream, he chose my real-life friend Charlotte, who stood up and said, “No, I won’t go with you.” When my turn came, no such words came from me, reminding me of the hauntingly accusatory saying: “There are no victims, only volunteers.” I still thought it was my fault.

Over two decades, I talked to those friends about revealing more — but there was no real reason to. Why? My grandfather was dead. I was married. I didn’t need anything from anyone.

Until recently, that is, when I realized I did need something, when it suddenly seemed wrong not to disclose the truth. Maybe it was actress Ellen Page’s coming-out statement (“I am tired of lying by omission”) or Dylan Farrow’s accusation of sexual abuse against Woody Allen (which he has denied). I’d previously come out as gay and I’d talked and written about having had cancer. Shedding a skin had always made a positive difference in how I felt about myself and in deepening my relationships.

My friend and confidante, Amy, wrote me: “You’re tired of holding your secret, you want it to come out and you’ll deal with whatever fallout there may be. It’s time.”

I told my sister, then my brother, both of whom instinctively supported me. Finally, I went to see my parents, both in their 80s and not in the best of health. I’d thought about this conversation a hundred times before, but this was no dress rehearsal. Unable to tamp down the fear lodged in my throat, I decided to step over it and just tell my story.

When I finished, my mom, a retired psychiatric social worker, put on her professional hat and said: “Sexual abuse is all too common and hidden away.”

Unlike many others who reveal their secret, I was fortunate: Neither my mother nor my father disputed what I was saying; in fact, it all seemed to ring true to them, and Mom even added other bits to the narrative. For example, she wondered aloud, why had my late grandmother become apoplectic whenever my grandfather visited us without her? “We thought she was controlling. Now I wonder if she was trying to protect you kids.”

Despite my many rehearsals for this moment, the drama played out in a way I’d never imagined: The healing power of my family’s love and support was immediately tangible. Of course, I wondered whether my grandfather had sexually assaulted anyone else, but that’s a question for another day.

As I've told others since then, I'd been healing in ways I'd hadn't even hoped for. My friend Peter sent an e-mail, reading in part: "Life seems to be a continual act of coming out, isn't it? The boundaries we think are uncrossable, the unnamable corners of our soul that we live in fear of bringing to light . . . are the very regions that allow us to feel complete if we dare to explore them. So thank you for crossing borders, shining a light into those corners — they only make you more lovable, more admirable."

I don’t quote Peter to suggest that I am more lovable or admirable now but to remind myself of this truth (to paraphrase James Joyce from “Ulysses”): Our secrets sit silent in the dark recesses of our hearts, but even they weary of their tyranny, willing and wanted to be dethroned.

Or as Amy said: “It was simply time.”

Petrow writes the "Civilities" advice column for The Post. He can be reached at www.facebook.com/stevenpetrow and www.twitter.com/stevenpetrow.

Last Update: May 15, 2013 Navigation: Main Menu Poe's Works Poe's Essays

Text: Edgar Allan Poe, “ A Few Words on Secret Writing ,” Graham's Magazine , July 1841, 19:33-38

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

[page 33, unnumbered:]

A FEW WORDS ON SECRET WRITING.

———

BY EDGAR A. POE.

[column 1:]

As we can scarcely imagine a time when there did not exist a necessity, or at least a desire, of transmitting information from one individual to another, in such manner as to elude general comprehension; so we may well suppose the practice of writing in cipher to be of great antiquity. De La Guilletiere, therefore, who, in his “Lacedæmon Ancient and Modern,” maintains that the Spartans were the inventors of Cryptography, is obviously in error. He speaks of the scytala as being the origin of the art; but he should only have cited it as one of its earliest instances, so far as our records extend. The scytala were two wooden cylinders, precisely similar in all respects. The general of an army, in going upon any expedition, received from the ephori one of these cylinders, while the other remained in their possession. If either party had occasion to communicate with the other, a narrow strip of parchment was so wrapped around the scytala that the edges of the skin fitted accurately each to each. The writing was then inscribed longitudinally, and the epistle unrolled and dispatched. If, by mischance, the messenger was intercepted, the letter proved unintelligible to his captors. If he reached his destination safely, however, the party addressed had only to involve the second cylinder in the strip to decipher the inscription. The transmission to our own times of this obvious mode of cryptography is due, probably, to the historical uses of the scytala , rather than to anything else. Similar means of secret intercommunication must have existed almost contemporaneously with the invention of letters.

It may be as well to remark, in passing, that in none of the treatises on the subject of this paper which have fallen under our cognizance, have we observed any suggestion of a method — other than those which apply alike to all ciphers — for the solution of the cipher by scytala . We read of instances, indeed, in which the intercepted parchments were deciphered; but we are not informed that this was ever done except accidentally. Yet a solution might be obtained with absolute certainty in this manner. The strip of skin being intercepted, let there be prepared a cone of great length comparatively — say six feet long — and whose circumference at base shall at least equal the length of the strip. Let this latter be rolled upon the cone near the base, edge to edge, as above described; then, still keeping edge to edge, and maintaining the parchment close upon the cone, let it be gradually slipped towards the apex. In this [column 2:] process, some of those words, syllables, or letters, whose connection is intended, will be sure to come together at that point of the cone where its diameter equals that of the scytala upon which the cipher was written. And as, in passing up the cone to its apex, all possible diameters are passed over, there is no chance of a failure. The circumference of the scytala being thus ascertained, a similar one can be made, and the cipher applied to it.

Few persons can be made to believe that it is not quite an easy thing to invent a method of secret writing which shall baffle investigation. Yet it may be roundly asserted that human ingenuity cannot concoct a cipher which human ingenuity cannot resolve. In the facility with which such writing is deciphered, however, there exist very remarkable differences in different intellects. Often, in the case of two individuals of acknowledged equality as regards ordinary mental efforts, it will be found that, while one cannot unriddle the commonest cipher, the other will scarcely be puzzled by the most abstruse. It may be observed, generally, that in such investigations the analytic ability is very forcibly called into action; and, for this reason, cryptographical solutions might with great propriety be introduced into academies, as the means of giving tone to the most important of the powers of mind.

Were two individuals, totally unpractised in cryptography, desirous of holding by letter a correspondence which should be unintelligible to all but themselves, it is most probable that they would at once think of a peculiar alphabet, to which each should have a key. At first it would, perhaps, be arranged that a should stand for z , b for y , c for x , d for w , &c. &c.; that is to say, the order of the letters would be reversed. Upon second thoughts, this arrangement appearing too obvious, a more complex mode would be adopted. The first thirteen letters might be written beneath the last thirteen, thus:

n o p q r s t u v w x y z a b c d e f g h i j k l m;

and, so placed, a might stand for n and n for o , o for b and b for a , &c. &c. This, again, having an air of regularity which might be fathomed, the key alphabet might be constructed absolutely at random.

[page 34:]

The correspondents, unless convinced of their error by the solution of their cipher, would no doubt be willing to rest in this latter arrangement, as affording full security. But if not, they would be likely to hit upon the plan of arbitrary marks used in place of the usual characters. For example,

A letter composed of such characters would have an intricate appearance unquestionably. If, still, however, it did not give full satisfaction, the idea of a perpetually shifting alphabet might be conceived, and thus effected. Let two circular pieces of pasteboard be prepared, one about half an inch in diameter less than the other. Let the centre of the smaller be placed upon the centre of the larger, and secured for a moment from slipping; while radii are drawn from the common centre to the circumference of the smaller circle, and thus extended to the circumference of the greater. Let there be twenty-six of these radii , forming on each pasteboard twenty-six spaces. In each of these spaces on the under circle write one of the letters of the alphabet, so that the whole alphabet be written — if at random so much the better. Do the same with the upper circle. Now run a pin through the common centre, and let the upper circle revolve, while the under one is held fast. Now stop the revolution of the upper circle, and, while both lie still, write the epistle required; using for a that letter in the smaller circle which tallies with a in the larger, for b that letter in the smaller circle which tallies with b in the larger &c. &c. In order that an epistle thus written may be read by the person for whom it is intended, it is only necessary that he should have in his possession circles constructed as those just described, and that he should know any two of the characters (one in the under and one in the upper circle) which were in juxta-position when his correspondent wrote the cipher. Upon this latter point he is informed by looking at the two initial letters of the document, which serve as a key. Thus, if he sees a m at the beginning, he concludes that, by turning his circles so as to put these characters in conjunction, he will arrive at the alphabet employed.

At a cursory glance, these various modes of constructing a cipher seem to have about them an air of inscrutable secrecy. It appears almost an impossibility to unriddle what has been put together by so complex a method. And to some persons the difficulty might be great; but to others — to those skilled in deciphering — such enigmas are very simple indeed. The reader should bear in mind that the basis of the whole art of solution, as far as regards these matters, is found in the general principles of the formation of language itself, and thus is altogether independent of the particular laws which govern any cipher, or the construction of its key. The difficulty of reading a cryptographical puzzle is by no [column 2:] means always in accordance with the labor or ingenuity with which it has been constructed. The sole use of the key, indeed, is for those au fait to the cipher; in its perusal by a third party, no reference is had to it at all. The lock of the secret is picked. In the different methods of cryptography specified above, it will be observed that there is a gradually increasing complexity. But this complexity is only in shadow. It has no substance whatever. It appertains merely to the formation, and has no bearing upon the solution, of the cipher. The last mode mentioned is not in the least degree more difficult to be deciphered than the first — whatever may be the difficulty of either.

In the discussion of an analogous subject, in one of the weekly papers of this city, about eighteen months ago, the writer of this article had occasion to speak of the application of a rigorous method in all forms of thought — of its advantages — of the extension of its use even to what is considered the operation of pure fancy — and thus, subsequently, of the solution of cipher. He even ventured to assert that no cipher, of the character above specified, could be sent to the address of the paper, which he would not be able to resolve. This challenge excited, most unexpectedly, a very lively interest among the numerous readers of the journal. Letters were poured in upon the editor from all parts of the country; and many of the writers of these epistles were so convinced of the impenetrability of their mysteries, as to be at great pains to draw him into wagers on the subject. At the same time, they were not always scrupulous about sticking to the point. The cryptographs were, in numerous instances, altogether beyond the limits defined in the beginning. Foreign languages were employed. Words and sentences were run together without interval. Several alphabets were used in the same cipher. One gentleman, but moderately endowed with conscientiousness, inditing us a puzzle composed of pot-hooks and hangers to which the wildest typography of the office could afford nothing similar, went even so far as to jumble together no less than seven distinct alphabets , without intervals between the letters, or between the lines . Many of the cryptographs were dated in Philadelphia, and several of those which urged the subject of a bet were written by gentlemen of this city. Out of, perhaps, one hundred ciphers altogether received, there was only one which we did not immediately succeed in resolving. This one we demonstrated to be an imposition — that is to say, we fully proved it a jargon of random characters, having no meaning whatever. In respect to the epistle of the seven alphabets, we had the pleasure of completely nonplus-ing its inditer by a prompt and satisfactory translation.

The weekly paper mentioned, was, for a period of some months, greatly occupied with the hieroglyphic and cabalistic-looking solutions of the cryptographs sent us from all quarters. Yet with the exception of the writers of the ciphers, we do not believe that any individuals could have been found, among the readers of the journal, who regarded the matter in [page 35:] any other light than in that of a desperate humbug. We mean to say that no one really believed in the authenticity of the answers. One party averred that the mysterious figures were only inserted to give a queer air to the paper, for the purpose of attracting attention. Another thought it more probable that we not only solved the ciphers, but put them together ourselves for solution. This having been the state of affairs at the period it was thought expedient to decline farther dealings in necromancy, the writer of this article avails himself of the present opportunity to maintain the truth of the journal in question — to repel the charges of rigmarole by which it was assailed — and to declare, in his own name, that the ciphers were all written in good faith, and solved in the same spirit.

A very common, and somewhat too obvious mode of secret correspondence, is the following. A card is interspersed, at irregular intervals, with oblong spaces, about the length of ordinary words of three syllables in a bourgeois type. Another card is made exactly coinciding. One is in possession of each party. When a letter is to be written, the key-card is placed upon the paper, and words conveying the true meaning inscribed in the spaces. The card is then removed and the blanks filled up, so as to make out a signification different from the real one. When the person addressed receives the cipher, he has merely to apply to it his own card, when the superfluous words are concealed, and the significant ones alone appear. The chief objection to this cryptograph is the difficulty of so filling the blanks as not to give a forced appearance to the sentences. Differences, also, in the handwriting, between the words written in the spaces, and those inscribed upon removal of the card, will always be detected by a close observer.

A pack of cards is sometimes made the vehicle of a cipher, in this manner. The parties determine, in the first place, upon certain arrangements of the pack. For example: it is agreed that, when a writing is to be commenced, a natural sequence of the spots shall be made; with spades at top, hearts next, diamonds next, and clubs last. This order being obtained, the writer proceeds to inscribe upon the top card the first letter of his epistle, upon the next the second, upon the next the third, and so on until the pack is exhausted, when, of course, he will have written fifty-two letters. He now shuffles the pack according to a preconcerted plan. For example: he takes three cards from the bottom and places them at top, then one from top, placing it at bottom, and so on, for a given number of times. This done, he again inscribes fifty-two characters as before, proceeding thus until his epistle is written. The pack being received by the correspondent, he has only to place the cards in the order agreed upon for commencement, to read, letter by letter, the first fifty-two characters as intended. He has then only to shuffle in the manner pre-arranged for the second perusal, to decipher the series of the next fifty-two letters — and so on to the end. The objection to this cryptograph lies in the nature of the missive. A pack of cards , sent [column 2:] from one party to another, would scarcely fail to excite suspicion; and it cannot be doubted that it is far better to secure ciphers from being considered as such, than to waste time in attempts at rendering them scrutiny-proof, when intercepted. Experience shows that the most cunningly constructed cryptograph, if suspected, can and will be unriddled.

An unusually secure mode of secret intercommunication might be thus devised. Let the parties each furnish themselves with a copy of the same edition of a book — the rarer the edition the better — as also the rarer the book. In the cryptograph, numbers are used altogether, and these numbers refer to the locality of letters in the volume. For example — a cipher is received commencing, 121-6-8. The party addressed refers to page 121, and looks at the sixth letter from the left of the page in the eighth line from the top. Whatever letter he there finds is the initial letter of the epistle — and so on. This method is very secure; yet it is possible to decipher any cryptograph written by its means — and it is greatly objectionable otherwise, on account of the time necessarily required for its solution, even with the key-volume.

It is not to be supposed that Cryptography, as a serious thing, as the means of imparting important information, has gone out of use at the present day. It is still commonly practised in diplomacy; and there are individuals, even now, holding office in the eye of various foreign governments, whose real business is that of deciphering. We have already said that a peculiar mental action is called into play in the solution of cryptographical problems, at least in those of the higher order. Good cryptographists are rare indeed; and thus their services, although seldom required, are necessarily well requited.

An instance of the modern employment of writing in cipher is mentioned in a work lately published by Messieurs Lea & Blanchard, of this city — “Sketches of Conspicuous Living Characters of France.” In a notice of Berryer, it is said that a letter being addressed by the Duchess de Berri to the legitimists of Paris, to inform them of her arrival, it was accompanied by a long note in cipher, the key of which she had forgotten to give. “The penetrating mind of Berryer,” says the biographer, “soon discovered it. It was this phrase substituted for the twenty-four letters of the alphabet — Le gouvernement provisoire.”

The assertion that Berryer “soon discovered the key-phrase,” merely proves that the writer of these memoirs is entirely innocent of cryptographical knowledge. Monsieur B. no doubt ascertained the key-phrase; but it was merely to satisfy his curiosity, after the riddle had been read . He made no use of the key in deciphering. The lock was picked.

In our notice of the book in question (published in the April number of this Magazine) we alluded to this subject thus —

“The phrase ‘ Le gouvernement provisoire ’ is French, and the note in cipher was addressed to Frenchmen. The difficulty of deciphering may well be supposed much greater, had the key been in a foreign tongue; yet any one who will take the trouble [page 36:] may address us a note, in the same manner as here proposed; and the key-phrase may be either in French, Italian, Spanish, German, Latin, or Greek, (or in any of the dialects of these languages,) and we pledge ourselves for the solution of the riddle.”

This challenge has elicited but a single response, which is embraced in the following letter. The only quarrel we have with the epistle, is that its writer has declined giving us his name in full. We beg that he will take an early opportunity of doing this, and thus relieve us of the chance of that suspicion which was attached to the cryptography of the weekly journal above-mentioned — the suspicion of inditing ciphers to ourselves. The postmark of the letter is Stonington, Conn .

S———————, C T ., A PRIL 21, 1841.

To the Editor of Graham's Magazine .

S IR : — In the April number of your magazine, while reviewing the translation by Mr. Walsh of “Sketches of Conspicuous Living Characters of France,” you invite your readers to address you a note in cipher, “the key phrase to which may be either in French, Italian, Spanish, German, Latin or Greek,” and pledge yourself for its solution. My attention being called, by your remarks, to this species of cipher-writing, I composed for my own amusement the following exercises, in the first part of which the key-phrase is in English — in the second in Latin. As I did not see, (by the number for May,) that any of your correspondents had availed himself of your offer, I take the liberty to send the enclosed, on which, if you should think it worth your while, you can exercise your ingenuity.

I am yours, respectfully, S. D. L.

Cauhiif aud frd sdftirf ithot tacd wdde rdchfdr tiu fuacfshffheo fdoudf hetmsafhie tuis ied herhchriai fi aeiftdu wn sdaef it iuhfheo hiidohwid wn aen deodsf ths tiu itis hf iaf iuhoheaiin rdff hedr; aer ftd auf it ftif fdoudfin oissiehoafheo hefdiihodeod taf wdde odeduaiin fdusdr ounsfiouastn. Saen fsdohdf it fdoudf ihufheo idud weiie fi ftd aeohdeff; fisdfhsdf, A fiacdf tdar ief ftacdr aer ftd ouiie iuhff de isie ihft fisd herd hwid oiiiuheo tiihr, atfdu ithot tahu wdheo sdushffdr fi ouii aoahe, hetiusafhie oiiir wd fuaefshffdr ihft ihffid raeoeu ft af rhfoicdun iiiir hefid iefhi ftd aswiiafiun dshffid fatdin udaotdr hff rdffheafhil. Ounsfiouastn tiidcdu siud suisduin dswuaodf ftifd sirdf it iuhfheo ithot aud uderdudr idohwid iein wn sdaef it fied desiaeafiun wdn ithot sawdf weiie ftd udai fhoehthoafhie it ftd onstduf dssiindr fi hff siffdffiu.

Ofoiioiiaso ortsiii sov eodisoioe afduiostifoi ft iftvi si tri oistoiv oiniafetsorit ifeov rsri inotiiiiv ridiiot, irio rivvio eovit atrotfetsoria aioriti iitri tf oitovin tri aetifei ioreitit sov usttoi oioittstifo dfti afdooitior trso ifeov tri dfit otftfeov softriedi ft oistoiv oriofiforiti suitteii viireiiitifoi ft tri iarfoisiti, iiti trir net otiiiotiv uitfti rid io tri eoviieeiiiv rfasueostr tf rii dftrit tfoeei.

In the solution of the first of these ciphers we had little more than ordinary trouble. The second proved to be exceedingly difficult, and it was only by calling [column 2:] every faculty into play that we could read it at all. The first runs thus.

“Various are the methods which have been devised for transmitting secret information from one individual to another, by means of writing, illegible to any except him for whom it was originally designed; and the art of thus secretly communicating intelligence has been generally termed cryp tography . Many species of secret writing were known to the ancients. Sometimes a slave's head was shaved, and the crown written upon with some indelible coloring fluid; after which the hair being permitted to grow again, information could be transmitted with little danger that discovery would ensue until the ambulatory epistle safely reached its destination. Cryptography, however, pure, properly embraces those modes of writing which are rendered legible only by means of some explanatory key which makes known the real signification of the ciphers employed to its possessor.”

The key-phrase of this cryptograph is — “A word to the wise is sufficient.”

The second is thus translated —

“Nonsensical phrases and unmeaning combinations of words, as the learned lexicographer would have confessed himself, when hidden under cryptographic ciphers, serve to perpdex the curious enquirer, and baffle penetration more completely than would the most profound apothems of learned philosophers. Abstruse disquisitions of the scholiasts, were they but presented before him in the undisguised vocabulary of his mother tongue ——”

The last sentence here (as will be seen) is broken off short. The spelling we have strictly adhered to. D , by mistake, has been put for l in perplex .

The key-phrase is — “ Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re .”

In the ordinary cryptograph, as will be seen in reference to most of those we have specified above, the artificial alphabet agreed upon by the correspondents, is employed, letter for letter, in place of the usual or natural one. For example: — two parties wish to communicate secretly. It is arranged before parting that

Now the following note is to be communicated —

“We must see you immediately upon a matter of great importance. Plots have been discovered, and the conspirators are in our hands. Hasten!”

These words would be written thus —

$ 0 . £ ] [ ] . . ¡ † £ ¿ 0 0 . * ¿ ) [ . & ¡ £ ‡ † ‘ ) 0 ) [ [ . ☞ † ’; ☞ . ) [ ? 0 ‡ † ☞ [ ) ‘ — . ‡ & † [ ] : ) £ . ( . . ‘ * . ] — † £ . ☞ . * ) ‘ * — † ‘ ] ‡ ? ☞ ) [ † ☞ ] ) ☞ ? ? ‘ † £ ☞ : ) ‘ * ] : ) ] [ . ‘

This certainly has an intricate appearance, and would prove a most difficult cipher to any one not conversant with cryptography. But it will be observed that a , for example, is never represented by any other character than ), b never by any other character than (, and so on. Thus by the discovery, accidental or otherwise, of any one letter, the party intercepting the epistle would gain a permanent and decided advantage and could apply his knowledge to all the instances in which the character in question was employed throughout the cipher.

In the cryptographs, on the other hand, which have been sent us by our correspondent at Stonington, and which are identical in conformation with the cipher resolved by Berryer, no such permanent advantage is to be obtained.

Let us refer to the second of these puzzles. Its key-phrase runs thus:

Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re .

Let us now place the alphabet beneath this phrase, letter beneath letter —

S | u | a | v | i | t | e | r | i | n | m | o | d | o | f | o | r | t | i | t | e | r | i | n | r | e

A | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | j | k | l | m | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | v | w | x | y | z

We here see that

In this manner n stands for two letters, and e, o , and t for three each, while i and r represent each as many as four. Thirteen characters are made to perform the operations of the whole alphabet. The result of such a key-phrase upon the cipher, is to give it the appearance of a mere medley of the letters e , o , t , r and i — the latter character greatly predominating, through the accident of being employed for letters which, themselves, are inordinately prevalent in most languages — we mean e and i . [column 2:]

A letter thus written being intercepted, and the key-phrase unknown, the individual who should attempt to decipher it may be imagined guessing , or otherwise attempting to convince himself, that a certain character ( i , for example,) represented the letter e . Looking throughout the cryptograph for confirmation of this idea, he would meet with nothing but a negation of it. He would see the character in situations where it could not possibly represent e . He might, for instance, be puzzled by four i 's forming of themselves a single word, without the intervention of any other character; in which case, of course, they could not be all e 's. It will be seen that the word wise might be thus constructed. We say this may be seen now , by us, in possession of the key-phrase; but the question will, no doubt, occur, how, without the key-phrase, and without cognizance of any single letter in the cipher, it would be possible for the interceptor of such a cryptograph to make any thing of such a word as iiii?

But again. A key-phrase might easily be constructed, in which one character would represent seven, eight, or ten letters. Let us then imagine the word iiiiiiiiii presenting itself in a cryptograph to an individual without the proper key-phrase; or, if this be a supposition somewhat too perplexing, let us suppose it occurring to the person for whom the cipher is designed, and who has the key-phrase. What is he to do with such a word as iiiiiiiiii? In any of the ordinary books upon Algebra will be found a very concise formula (we have not the necessary type for its insertion here) for ascertaining the number of arrangements in which m letters may be placed, taken n at a time. But no doubt there are none of our readers ignorant of the innumerable combinations which may be made from these ten i 's. Yet, unless it occur otherwise by accident, the correspondent receiving the cipher would have to write down all these combinations before attaining the word intended; and even when he had written them, he would be inexpressibly perplexed in selecting the word designed from the vast number of other words arising in the course of the permutation.

To obviate, therefore, the exceeding difficulty of deciphering this species of cryptograph, on the part of the possessors of the key-phrase, and to confine the deep intricacy of the puzzle to those for whom the cipher was not designed, it becomes necessary that some order should be agreed upon by the parties corresponding — some order in reference to which those characters are to be read which represent more than one letter — and this order must be held in view by the writer of the cryptograph. It may be agreed, for example, that the first time an i occurs in the cipher, it is to be understood as representing that character which stands against the first i in the key-phrase; that the second time an i occurs it must be supposed to represent that letter which stands opposed to the second i in the key-phrase, &c. &c. Thus the location of each cipherical letter must be considered in connexion with the character itself, in order to determine its exact signification.

We say that some pre-concerted order of this [page 38:] kind is necessary, lest the cipher prove too intricate a lock to yield even to its true key. But it will be evident, upon inspection, that our correspondent at Stonington has inflicted upon us a cryptograph in which no order has been preserved; in which many characters, respectively, stand, at absolute random, for many others. If, therefore, in regard to the gauntlet we threw down in April, he should be half inclined to accuse us of braggadocio, he will yet admit that we have more than acted up to our boast. If what we then said was not said suaviter in modo , what we now do is at least done fortiter in re .

In these cursory observations we have by no means attempted to exhaust the subject of Cryptography. With such object in view, a folio might be required. We have indeed mentioned only a few of the ordinary modes of cipher. Even two thousand years [column 2:] ago, Æneas Tacticus detailed twenty distinct methods; and modern ingenuity has added much to the science. Our design has been chiefly suggestive; and perhaps we have already bored the readers of the Magazine. To those who desire farther information upon this topic, we may say that there are extant treatises by Trithemius, Cap. Porta, Vignere, and P. Niceron. The works of the two latter may be found, we believe, in the library of the Harvard University. If, however, there should be sought in these disquisitions — or in any — rules for the solution of cipher, the seeker will be disappointed. Beyond some hints in regard to the general structure of language, and some minute exercises in their practical application, he will find nothing upon record which he does not in his own intellect possess.

The cipher on p. 37, column 1, contains an error near the beginning. In collecting the text for the first time, in 1875, J. H. Ingram corrected the error. Harrison retained the correction in reprinting the text in 1902.

[S:1 - GM, 1841] - Edgar Allan Poe Society of Baltimore - Works - Essays - A Few Words on Secret Writing (Text-02)

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I did not see anyone with a gun, until I noticed Steven standing in the doorway of the store with a machine gun. He was shaking when I ran up to him, “My daddy taught me how shoot” he stuttered. I hugged him tightly and then walked him to the car. Where we then drove out of the city and towards the woods, eventually we came upon a deserted camp ground. I rummaged through their stuff and found some flint and stone.…

A Short Story about Myself

I’d like to share a short story about myself. I’d like to do this, to show people that life will always throw curveballs but what truly matters is you fight through it! Things will get better sooner or later. For the children out there that don’t think they aren’t worth it, because of bullies or family issues, you ARE worth it! Every life matters, and it might not seem like it but you are destined for something great!…

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“The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne Essay

The Secret is a book authored by Rhonda Byrne that was published in 2006. It is based on a film of the same name produced in March of the same year. The Secret centers on the law of attraction. Byrne expresses positivism about notions that can change life. The book has been translated into more than forty languages.

Byrne has used the power of the pen to impact positively on people’s lives. Her well-choreographed description of the chronology of events helps her make the change. This is what makes me like her style of writing and delivery of the message. This paper seeks to prove this success.

Byrne starts by explaining the dynamics of the law of attraction, and then she explores how men and women used its power to gain wisdom. This shows how well she is prepared before beginning to write the book. Byrne explains that people through their positive thinking can change their health, expand wealth, and become happier. She analyzes the law of attraction in a perfect way. She illustrates how the law attracts events, situation, and experiences of people by matching their feelings and thoughts.

She further inspires people from the fact that two years before she wrote the book, she underwent a terrible condition that brought trauma. This gave her the opportunity to read varied genre of literature by great scholars and thinkers. Through this, she gained wisdom and proper methods of delivering the message to the world. Therefore, when you sit down to read The Secret, you know you are reading a piece of work by the author who was ready for her job. This book is planned well and its content collected over time.

The Secret is a well thought out book based on rich wisdom that Byrne acquired by reading widely and internalizing from articles that enriched her mind, giving her adequate capacity to write.

To confirm that she did a better job, The Secret gained popularity selling more than nineteen million copies earning Byrne a call to appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The fortunes from the sales of the book were marvelous. I contributed to this because I acquired a copy to make sure that I am part of the population that benefited from this knowledge.

The book plays a big role in empowering people who want to be self-reliant. Her explanations of the thoughts and feelings transmitting into the surrounding from the human brains, to attract equivalent actions and situations and therefore creating experiences are very fascinating. Through this, the book has managed to transform the thinking of many people. People’s thoughts have shifted to the positive minds. This has created confidence and self-belief, which are key elements to success.

Byrne uses metaphors to pass her message to the readers with clear expressions. She does this by comparing the power of thoughts to a transmission tower. The tower transmits frequency to the universe and then relays the same to the earth in equal measure.

Her prowess is captivating and is felt when she derives from the Bible to create her three-step process for manifesting the dreams. Byrne outlines that it is Ask, Believe, and Receive. She combines these by capturing the complete human body very well. She points out gratitude and visualization as the driving forces for achievement.

Using her conscience that is very clear, she understands that being grateful rests in the human heart. Similarly, having vision is centered in the mind. By doing this, she manages to put together the human mind and heart. This is the best way a human being can move forward and change his destiny. In order to succeed the mind should first think about success. The law of attraction will then reorganize the events to make sure success is achieved.

The Secret is without doubt a product of great minds in various fields including art, philosophy, and great thinkers. Synthesizing this, together with the first intention of the author that is to bring joy to many human beings, it becomes an educative and interesting book.

Byrne’s organization of her work is exemplary. She delivers her message through the film and then follows up with a captivating book. This indicates the value she put on the message organized to deliver. She creates a deeper understanding from the reader’s perspective by dividing the human thoughts into three categories.

Remembering that comes first puts the mind in the past, observation that is second puts the mind in the present, and imagination that comes at the end puts the mind in the future. Synthesizing the three steps, Byrne gives one an opportunity to look back, see his present mind-set, and by changing his focus, he can change his thoughts to align with success.

Her explanation of positivism elaborates how change from a positive mind is more powerful than negative thoughts. The more positive the mind the closer the results are achieved. Byrne excellently transfers thoughts to feelings. Good feelings are because of positive thoughts and a proof that one is ready to receive good results.

She explains that feelings predict outcomes to me this is true. For example, if I am from an interview my feelings will show the outcome. If my feelings are good, then definitely I have done well at the same time if my feelings show low self-esteem then the chance that I have fared poorly is high.

In her words, feelings and thoughts consist of emotional guidance system. Byrne has used the book to help people open up to themselves and the world. With oneself, personal life is evaluated including their health. To the world, the key to financial successes as well as secrets of relationships are analyzed.

Assessment of these factors puts one in a place to develop and expand. The reason attributed to this is that one’s status is a result of his past thoughts and feelings. I totally agree with her. Taking students’ performance in class for instance can be seen through examination preparations (Byrne 78). Their feeling and thoughts can be overheard in grapevine. Their expressions are used to decide how they are going to do when the results come out.

Byrne identifies that the state of the mind now and the feelings find one’s future. Preparations that are done now create the type of situation in future.

The future status is projected now. In conclusion, we are justified to state that Rhonda Byrne has succeeded in achieving her first intention of bringing joy to millions in the world. She achieved this through her organized and thought out arrangement of ideas. Evidence that she has done this arises from various accolades the book and she have received, the sales not withstanding.

Works Cited

Byrne, Rhonda. The Secret . New York: Atria Books, 2006. Print.

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""The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne." IvyPanda , 11 Dec. 2018, ivypanda.com/essays/the-secret/.

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IvyPanda . 2018. ""The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne." December 11, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-secret/.

1. IvyPanda . ""The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne." December 11, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-secret/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . ""The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne." December 11, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-secret/.

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Top Secret Fiction Writing Prompts

by Melissa Donovan | Nov 23, 2021 | Fiction Writing Prompts | 46 comments

Fiction writing prompts filled with secrets.

“Ssh, don’t tell anyone. Put it in the vault!”

Most of us have had those very words whispered into our ears. In fact, most of us have probably whispered those words into someone else’s ear.

They say everyone has a secret. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that secrets sure pique people’s curiosity.

And if you can capture a reader’s curiosity, you’ll have them hooked.

The Power of Secrets

Don’t your ears perk up just a little bit when you hear the word secret ? And don’t you get all quiet and attentive when someone says, “I have a secret to tell you?” Secrets are powerful. They imply mystery and drama; they evoke suspense and build tension; and they capture people’s attention. Most importantly, they keep readers turning pages.

Secrets can be integral to a plot, but usually the secrets belong exclusively to characters. In fact, sometimes a secret will shape a character’s personality. How would keeping a secret for decades impact a person’s behavior? What kind of secret would weigh on someone’s conscience? How do the other characters view someone who can’t keep a secret?

There are big secrets and little secrets, important ones and silly ones. Some secrets are cliché (“She had a baby and gave it up for adoption”) and others are funny (“One time, at band camp…”).

The best secrets are surprising. I’m not talking about the sitcom variety of the misunderstanding, where one character overhears another and gets the wrong idea. I’m talking about secrets that, when revealed, make readers’ jaws drop.

Secretive Fiction Writing Prompts

Think about the secrets in books like The Da Vinci Code (aff link) — secrets that shock you or make you think about the world in new ways. Try to come up with some interesting secrets for your fiction. Use the fiction writing prompts below to write a scene, a whole story, or to come up with some really great character traits or plot twists.

A character is harboring a secret that is preventing them from fulfilling a true desire.
Two characters share a secret, but it’s not what everyone thinks it is.
It’s an old family secret, and there’s only one person alive who knows about it. Will they take it to the grave?
There’s a secret and everyone knows about it except one particular character and it happens to affect that character the most.
There is a small group of people who meet in secret at regular intervals.
A character has a secret, and if anyone found out, it would destroy his or her life.
One character discovers another character’s shocking, sad, or terrible secret.
A character thinks they have a very private secret, but most of the people close to them know about it.
A character knows a secret that would destroy one person’s life but save the life of someone else.
There is a secret that would affect everyone on the planet, but only a small, elite group of characters know about it.

Tips for Writing Secrets Into Your Fiction

Writing secrets into your story can make it a lot more exciting, and you can conjure up secrets whenever a character seems flat or the plot is thinning out. But you have to be careful with secrets. Here are a few final tips for writing secrets into your fiction:

Avoid common or stereotypical secrets unless you can give them a really intriguing twist. Examples: sordid affairs, the family member you never knew you had, the person who went to prison but didn’t commit the crime, etc.
Usually, the audience gets in on the secret before a key character does, but don’t let it out too early. If you can, reveal the secret over time and make it a guessing game for the reader to figure out.
If you build a lot of tension, you better have a secret that delivers. There’s nothing worse than a lot of buildup for something like “I’m the one who broke your favorite snow globe in second grade.” Try to come up with a real doozy.

Tell Me Your Secrets

If you have any secrets (real or made up), feel free to leave them in the comments, or post a secret from a novel or a film that you thought was especially clever.

Have fun with today’s top secret fiction writing prompts (how could you not?), and keep writing!

46 Comments

Very good topic, Melissa! As for me, it is one of the most essential for a blogger. Really. How can I make a potential reader actually read my post?(after she searched the Internet and landed on my page). I need to intrigue the reader, right? That is usually done by hooks like questions. Then how do I keep the reader keep coming back to my blog? Eureka!!! THE SECRET! I need to write a series of posts with a secret in it, revealing a bit along the way Very cool – practical advice indeed. THANKS!

Alik, I love how you always take the posts on fiction and poetry and apply them to blogging. That’s smart, because fiction and poetry have an entertainment factor that many blogs and other forms of nonfiction lack. However, when you start marrying these different types of writing, some pretty cool stuff can happen.

I think you’ve hit it on the nail Melissa. Secrets are the engines of most great stories. Your plot suggestions for the secret exercises are great. I think I’d like to tackle one in particular but I won’t tell you which one. 😉

No! You’re supposed to tell your secrets in the comments, not tease me! Heheh. I happen to love stories with secrets and twists, as long as they aren’t ones that have already been overdone in hundreds of other stories. Secrets are definitely fun! Maybe that’s because I don’t really have any of my own.

Secrets are compelling.

You’re #5 secret society exercise is particularly interesting. Cloak and dagger affairs wreak of intrigue and adventure.

I love the idea of the secret society story and although a few well-known stories have touched on this theme, it’s fairly uncommon, so I think there might be a lot of room to explore.

I got one but I can’t tell anyone. LOL

Ha ha. Very funny, Coby.

My secrets? I was a circus performer until the age of 5 but gave it up because it ate into my reading time. I love to bake and cook sumptious meals, but only eat dry toast and tea. I had blond, blond hair when I was little and was frequently stopped by strangers who commented on the length of my eyelashes. And I had so many speeding tickets in high school, my friends called me Speedy Gonzales.

(Okay, only one of those is true–which do you think it is?)

I know! I know! You like to bake and cook scrumptious meals!

I was reading the list of 10 things, and thought each one has so much potential!

About #8: A character thinks she has a very private secret, but actually, most of the people close to her know about it. One time I was picturing a story, a superheo story that’s a twist to Superman. Come on, put on a suit and glasses and then nobody can figure out who you are? The truth is, most people around Clark Kent knew that he’s Superman already. They just didn’t want to tell him because they didn’t want to hurt his feelings (What a stupid and obvious disguise you have, Clark!) Eventually there’s some sort of crisis and the secret came out (maybe with the villain’s help). Unfortunately I haven’t yet come up with a good story for it yet. There’s the idea, but I couldn’t come up with other details yet.

Oh, I love superhero stories. Never read comics, but I do love the movies and also books that have that same superhero flavor. And yes, I think Clark Kent’s disguise is pretty lame. Batman is the king of the superheroes in my world.

Secrets is a great writing prompt Melissa. I can’t think of a particularly good secret from a movie or book at the moment, but I did come up with this Mark Twain quote: “I once sent a telegram to 12 of my friends saying ALL IS DISCOVERED – FLEE AT ONCE. They all left town immediately.” 🙂

Thanks, Marelisa. That Mark Twain quote is pretty funny. He left us many wonderful quotes, and a lot of them are humorous.

The first time I read Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, I was totally blown away. (Spoiler alert!) I went through most of the novel thinking Rebecca was this paragon, so the reveals at the end which completely upended all the reader’s assumptions were delightful.

This technique is one I use often on my cat blog, since there are so many misunderstandings and misconceptions about cats. Even though my readers might know the truth, they still love to deconstruct it with me.

Secrets can be planted in any character’s behavior. He’s moody, she’s excitable; tease that you will reveal why, and it adds a dimension to the character that might not even be pivotal to the plot, but will keep up The Narrative Drive.

Hey, that’s a great secret technique – give the character a very prominent behavioral trait and lead up to explaining why. Pretty cool.

Okay … the secret that was true? No, I was never actually a circus performer (although I WAS reading when I was 3). I do cook and bake scrumptious meals, but I EAT THEM. And I’ve never had a speeding ticket in my life (knock wood), though I’ve gotten two warnings. The true secret was that my hair was very, very blond when I was little and that strangers would stop and comment on my long eyelashes … strange but true!

Aw. I thought I got that one right. I guess I missed the “but” qualifier. I had blonde hair when I was little too (now it’s dark brown).

Well, they say the best lies have at least a fraction of truth in them…

–Debs last blog post.. Spinning Words

That’s the truth!

I do have to make the point that sometimes the secret has every little to do with the story. I think it’s called a MacGuffin – the secret is nothing but a plot device, but bears no real important in itself.

I like to use this quite a bit (at least, I think I do).

Secrets can be plot devices, and sometimes they’ll add interest to the story when used this way (if executed well). However, I think a writer has be careful not to use secrets that have nothing to do with the plot at all, otherwise it becomes obvious they’re just trying to fill up pages. I don’t think you have to worry about that, Matthew.

I suppose one of the biggest spoiled secrets in the galaxy is that Darth Vader is, in fact, Luke’s father! And on a related note, Princess Leia is Luke’s sister. When I was a wee child, none of this really made sense, then when I got older I had a big “Oooohh!” moment and shrugged it off. Kinda anti-climatic I guess.

Anyway, interesting timing for this secret talk. I’m in the midst of a storyline that involves #3 and partially #4, where a grumpy old uncle tells the secret of a certain tragic event that happened to his nephew’s mother many years ago. However, after letting someone read this secret, they felt it didn’t really fit with the story, and was probably better suited for another story altogether.

To fill you in, a young man moves from the city to the country after his father dies to live with his mean antisocial uncle on his farm and rebuilds his run down barn as a movie theater which attracts undesired attention and guests on the uncle’s land. The outraged uncle burns the barn which sparks a confrontation between the young lad and old man and the big secret is told why he is so bitter. (At the moment, the secret is the uncle accidentally kill’s the nephew’s mother when the boy was very young, and he was never told the truth.) Soon after, forgiveness and healing begins and uncle and nephew get along. It’s a challenging little tale I’m still trying to make sense of.

Luke Skywalker’s parentage is definitely one of the most famous secrets in the history of storytelling! Your story idea is excellent, and I know this because as I was reading your description, I could visualize it in my mind. That could be a film or a book.

Ooohhh the Da Vinci Code made me look at a lot of things differently that is for sure! I can’t wait for Angels and Demons!

In the stories I have written, I usually had a character with a secret, as my stories got better, the secrets did too! It is definetly an interesting turn of events when secrets are revealed!

Me too. Actually, I could not put The DaVinci Code down. I think I finished it in one day. Now there’s a story filled with really big secrets!

I love secrets! In a fantastic novel by Holly Black–which I recommend to ANYONE–the main character goes into a coffee shop. Nervous, she starts opening drawers to the table she’s sitting at and finds that it’s full of people’s secrets, all scrunched up, written on whatever people could find. I thought this was a brilliant idea!

The secret I remember the best was, “My best friend, her boyfriend and I went to get coffee. When my friend’s boyfriend wasn’t looking, I switched our mugs and spit in his cup so he would taste me in his mouth.” She phrases it much more eloquently than I do, but I thought that was such a weird, perfect secret!

Thanks for the suggestions!

That sounds like an interesting novel, Kit! The secrets (or at least one of them) were memorable and made an impact on you as a reader, so you know firsthand the power of secrets in fiction.

Definitely! I love those books (Tithe, Valiant, Ironside).

I forgot, though, to leave my own secret.

I’m terrified of commitment and getting to the end of my life and realizing that I’ve wasted so much time and done so many things that made me unhappy. And I don’t want to get married, because I’m afraid that after living with the person for a few years, I’d get bored.

Kit, have you ever heard of Post Secret? You should check it out. I have a feeling you would like it: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

LOL that sounds like a funny secret. Either it backfired because they hadn’t brushed their teeth, or the guy craved the taste of her after the coffee.

Trying to write a book with a serect but each page tells a bit more so you have to read to the end before you find the full serect is a hard thing to do. Have tried this and come to 20,000 words but it not a full novel. how do I go on to tease it out

I wouldn’t push a story to fulfill some arbitrary word count. When writers do that, I think the work starts to feel forced, and readers can tell when someone is stretching out a piece of writing to meet word or page count. I remember my teachers could always tell too. End the story where the story ends. You don’t have to make it into a novel. You could do a novella or you could cut it some and turn it into a short story. Good luck to you!

I love unexpected twist! I love when something makes me look twice just to make sure I got it! In the Unborn move…SPOILER ALERT!!!!…..when we find out the main character is actually the crazy one I was so shocked! I believed her to be secret-less the whole time!!! I came up with a little twisty poem of my own: Down, Down So far away One little girl sits on a bank to play A little reflection she can see “My house, and there is me” But, to her, the reflection wasn’t quite right Outside it was day, in the water it was night And here she was happy, she was free But in the water she was terrified as could be

She ran from the pond with a scream and a shout But the Mommy and Daddy couldn’t hear about For the police were too late to save her She drowned that night, with

Thanks for sharing your poem, Dezi.

Here’s my deepest and darkest secret:

back in elementary and high school, every time my assignment was to write a short story, I could never obey the page and word count limit. I always wrote 25 pages of pure gold and only a rare amount of teachers actually commented on my creativity.

Why is that a secret? It’s a testament to your passion for writing.

Oh I forgot to mention the negative consequence lol. The fact that most teachers in my life neglected to comment on my original ideas held me back from appreciating my own abilities. It held me back from writing consistently throughout my earlier years.

When you’re young and in school, you get so indoctrinated in a way of passive thinking. It all becomes about structure, grammar, proper spelling–which is required for a coherent read–but such a few amount of teachers would ever commend you for your ability to simply create a compelling story.

I always knew I enjoyed writing at some level, but it was never made conscious enough because of the lack of external encouragement from parents and teachers. Of course we’re ultimately responsible for our own behaviours and choices, and that’s why nowadays I’ve acknowledged my passion and write to my heart’s content. After all, having had only 4 teachers (out of the several in my entire life) incite my creativity is better than not having any at all!

Actually, I think encouragement from four teachers is pretty good, statistically speaking. I don’t think I got that kind of encouragement (with my creative writing) until college. I do understand that teachers are overwhelmed with papers to correct, and many bright students slip through the cracks, which is enormously unfortunate. Also, responses to creative writing are highly subjective. Teachers are human and will impose their own judgements on their students’ work. I’m sure a teacher who prefers literary fiction might not find much value in a fantasy story, for example. All things considered, I agree with you: we are ultimately responsible for our own choices and must follow our callings regardless of external encouragement (or lack thereof).

Secrets are dirty little things, we have to always hide them away from others where no one can see them. But we all have them. Most in retrospect are silly but some do affect our whole lives and maybe others as well. While they are the things we don’t let others see, it is also what people are dying to hear from others at a safe distance. As long as they’re not looking you in the eye, people would love to know all of your secrets. Gossip, is about uncovering everything about others while leaving one’s own self intact. The survival instinct to fit in meant life or death to the neanderthals but stunts our creative genius’ because of what will be revealed to the world about you. And the instinct starts to kick in. I can just hear the bullies in the school crowding someone into a corner and saying, “What’s your secret that you’ve been hiding?”

It’s true that most secrets are silly. Several times, a friend or relative has revealed some big secret and I wondered what the big deal was. It’s kind of funny, actually. But it’s also true that some secrets are dark, dangerous, and creepy.

I just have to hear the line “I see dead people” and I am again rocked by the huge secret of the movie The Sixth Sense. Best surprise ever in a movie.

RE Joni; All the clues were there for us all to see. I saw them all when I watched the movie the second time after reading about the clues. I had no clue the first time.

Yes, that was a good one.

I know I’m late to the party, but secrets power the heart’s engine forward. Hope for the everlasting love that we know lies in the middle of every room stuffed with every tragedy under the sun, keep us, forever like the little kid tossing all the extraneous, ugly BS from the room, looking for his/her present – “there’s a pony in here somewhere.” In my third novel my character returns to home to care for her narcissistic, abusive father who’s 2nd wife has left him for good. The secret that has driven off the 2nd wife poses a problem for me — do I release it as the scene unfolds or do I leave the secret in the basket with all the other secrets with which my character has to contend on her road to love and wholeness? I love the conundrums of the writing life…

I agree–the conundrums of the writing life are fascinating.

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How People Learn to Become Resilient

By Maria Konnikova

Perception is key to resilience Do you conceptualize an event as traumatic or as a chance to learn and grow

Norman Garmezy, a developmental psychologist and clinician at the University of Minnesota, met thousands of children in his four decades of research. But one boy in particular stuck with him. He was nine years old, with an alcoholic mother and an absent father. Each day, he would arrive at school with the exact same sandwich: two slices of bread with nothing in between. At home, there was no other food available, and no one to make any. Even so, Garmezy would later recall, the boy wanted to make sure that “no one would feel pity for him and no one would know the ineptitude of his mother.” Each day, without fail, he would walk in with a smile on his face and a “bread sandwich” tucked into his bag.

The boy with the bread sandwich was part of a special group of children. He belonged to a cohort of kids—the first of many—whom Garmezy would go on to identify as succeeding, even excelling, despite incredibly difficult circumstances. These were the children who exhibited a trait Garmezy would later identify as “resilience.” (He is widely credited with being the first to study the concept in an experimental setting.) Over many years, Garmezy would visit schools across the country, focussing on those in economically depressed areas, and follow a standard protocol. He would set up meetings with the principal, along with a school social worker or nurse, and pose the same question: Were there any children whose backgrounds had initially raised red flags—kids who seemed likely to become problem kids—who had instead become, surprisingly, a source of pride? “What I was saying was, ‘Can you identify stressed children who are making it here in your school?’ ” Garmezy said, in a 1999 interview . “There would be a long pause after my inquiry before the answer came. If I had said, ‘Do you have kids in this school who seem to be troubled?,’ there wouldn’t have been a moment’s delay. But to be asked about children who were adaptive and good citizens in the school and making it even though they had come out of very disturbed backgrounds—that was a new sort of inquiry. That’s the way we began.”

Resilience presents a challenge for psychologists. Whether you can be said to have it or not largely depends not on any particular psychological test but on the way your life unfolds. If you are lucky enough to never experience any sort of adversity, we won’t know how resilient you are. It’s only when you’re faced with obstacles, stress, and other environmental threats that resilience, or the lack of it, emerges: Do you succumb or do you surmount?

Environmental threats can come in various guises. Some are the result of low socioeconomic status and challenging home conditions. (Those are the threats studied in Garmezy’s work.) Often, such threats—parents with psychological or other problems; exposure to violence or poor treatment; being a child of problematic divorce—are chronic. Other threats are acute: experiencing or witnessing a traumatic violent encounter, for example, or being in an accident. What matters is the intensity and the duration of the stressor. In the case of acute stressors, the intensity is usually high. The stress resulting from chronic adversity, Garmezy wrote, might be lower—but it “exerts repeated and cumulative impact on resources and adaptation and persists for many months and typically considerably longer.”

Prior to Garmezy’s work on resilience, most research on trauma and negative life events had a reverse focus. Instead of looking at areas of strength, it looked at areas of vulnerability, investigating the experiences that make people susceptible to poor life outcomes (or that lead kids to be “troubled,” as Garmezy put it). Garmezy’s work opened the door to the study of protective factors: the elements of an individual’s background or personality that could enable success despite the challenges they faced. Garmezy retired from research before reaching any definitive conclusions—his career was cut short by early-onset Alzheimer’s—but his students and followers were able to identify elements that fell into two groups: individual, psychological factors and external, environmental factors, or disposition on the one hand and luck on the other.

In 1989 a developmental psychologist named Emmy Werner published the results of a thirty-two-year longitudinal project. She had followed a group of six hundred and ninety-eight children, in Kauai, Hawaii, from before birth through their third decade of life. Along the way, she’d monitored them for any exposure to stress: maternal stress in utero, poverty, problems in the family, and so on. Two-thirds of the children came from backgrounds that were, essentially, stable, successful, and happy; the other third qualified as “at risk.” Like Garmezy, she soon discovered that not all of the at-risk children reacted to stress in the same way. Two-thirds of them “developed serious learning or behavior problems by the age of ten, or had delinquency records, mental health problems, or teen-age pregnancies by the age of eighteen.” But the remaining third developed into “competent, confident, and caring young adults.” They had attained academic, domestic, and social success—and they were always ready to capitalize on new opportunities that arose.

What was it that set the resilient children apart? Because the individuals in her sample had been followed and tested consistently for three decades, Werner had a trove of data at her disposal. She found that several elements predicted resilience. Some elements had to do with luck: a resilient child might have a strong bond with a supportive caregiver, parent, teacher, or other mentor-like figure. But another, quite large set of elements was psychological, and had to do with how the children responded to the environment. From a young age, resilient children tended to “meet the world on their own terms.” They were autonomous and independent, would seek out new experiences, and had a “positive social orientation.” “Though not especially gifted, these children used whatever skills they had effectively,” Werner wrote. Perhaps most importantly, the resilient children had what psychologists call an “internal locus of control”: they believed that they, and not their circumstances, affected their achievements. The resilient children saw themselves as the orchestrators of their own fates. In fact, on a scale that measured locus of control, they scored more than two standard deviations away from the standardization group.

Werner also discovered that resilience could change over time. Some resilient children were especially unlucky: they experienced multiple strong stressors at vulnerable points and their resilience evaporated. Resilience, she explained, is like a constant calculation: Which side of the equation weighs more, the resilience or the stressors? The stressors can become so intense that resilience is overwhelmed. Most people, in short, have a breaking point. On the flip side, some people who weren’t resilient when they were little somehow learned the skills of resilience. They were able to overcome adversity later in life and went on to flourish as much as those who’d been resilient the whole way through. This, of course, raises the question of how resilience might be learned.

George Bonanno is a clinical psychologist at Columbia University’s Teachers College; he heads the Loss, Trauma, and Emotion Lab and has been studying resilience for nearly twenty-five years. Garmezy, Werner, and others have shown that some people are far better than others at dealing with adversity; Bonanno has been trying to figure out where that variation might come from. Bonanno’s theory of resilience starts with an observation: all of us possess the same fundamental stress-response system, which has evolved over millions of years and which we share with other animals. The vast majority of people are pretty good at using that system to deal with stress. When it comes to resilience, the question is: Why do some people use the system so much more frequently or effectively than others?

One of the central elements of resilience, Bonanno has found, is perception: Do you conceptualize an event as traumatic, or as an opportunity to learn and grow? “Events are not traumatic until we experience them as traumatic,” Bonanno told me, in December. “To call something a ‘traumatic event’ belies that fact.” He has coined a different term: PTE, or potentially traumatic event, which he argues is more accurate. The theory is straightforward. Every frightening event, no matter how negative it might seem from the sidelines, has the potential to be traumatic or not to the person experiencing it. (Bonanno focusses on acute negative events, where we may be seriously harmed; others who study resilience, including Garmezy and Werner, look more broadly.) Take something as terrible as the surprising death of a close friend: you might be sad, but if you can find a way to construe that event as filled with meaning—perhaps it leads to greater awareness of a certain disease, say, or to closer ties with the community—then it may not be seen as a trauma. (Indeed, Werner found that resilient individuals were far more likely to report having sources of spiritual and religious support than those who weren’t.) The experience isn’t inherent in the event; it resides in the event’s psychological construal.

It’s for this reason, Bonanno told me, that “stressful” or “traumatic” events in and of themselves don’t have much predictive power when it comes to life outcomes. “The prospective epidemiological data shows that exposure to potentially traumatic events does not predict later functioning,” he said. “It’s only predictive if there’s a negative response.” In other words, living through adversity, be it endemic to your environment or an acute negative event, doesn’t guarantee that you’ll suffer going forward. What matters is whether that adversity becomes traumatizing.

The good news is that positive construal can be taught. “We can make ourselves more or less vulnerable by how we think about things,” Bonanno said. In research at Columbia, the neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner has shown that teaching people to think of stimuli in different ways—to reframe them in positive terms when the initial response is negative, or in a less emotional way when the initial response is emotionally “hot”—changes how they experience and react to the stimulus. You can train people to better regulate their emotions, and the training seems to have lasting effects.

Similar work has been done with explanatory styles—the techniques we use to explain events. I’ve written before about the research of Martin Seligman , the University of Pennsylvania psychologist who pioneered much of the field of positive psychology: Seligman found that training people to change their explanatory styles from internal to external (“Bad events aren’t my fault”), from global to specific (“This is one narrow thing rather than a massive indication that something is wrong with my life”), and from permanent to impermanent (“I can change the situation, rather than assuming it’s fixed”) made them more psychologically successful and less prone to depression. The same goes for locus of control : not only is a more internal locus tied to perceiving less stress and performing better but changing your locus from external to internal leads to positive changes in both psychological well-being and objective work performance. The cognitive skills that underpin resilience, then, seem like they can indeed be learned over time, creating resilience where there was none.

Unfortunately, the opposite may also be true. “We can become less resilient, or less likely to be resilient,” Bonanno says. “We can create or exaggerate stressors very easily in our own minds. That’s the danger of the human condition.” Human beings are capable of worry and rumination: we can take a minor thing, blow it up in our heads, run through it over and over, and drive ourselves crazy until we feel like that minor thing is the biggest thing that ever happened. In a sense, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Frame adversity as a challenge, and you become more flexible and able to deal with it, move on, learn from it, and grow. Focus on it, frame it as a threat, and a potentially traumatic event becomes an enduring problem; you become more inflexible, and more likely to be negatively affected.

In December the New York Times Magazine published an essay called “The Profound Emptiness of ‘Resilience.’ ” It pointed out that the word is now used everywhere, often in ways that drain it of meaning and link it to vague concepts like “character.” But resilience doesn’t have to be an empty or vague concept. In fact, decades of research have revealed a lot about how it works. This research shows that resilience is, ultimately, a set of skills that can be taught. In recent years, we’ve taken to using the term sloppily—but our sloppy usage doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been usefully and precisely defined. It’s time we invest the time and energy to understand what “resilience” really means.

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A Secret About a Secret

By peter spiegelman, by peter spiegelman read by jack bannon, category: suspense & thriller | military fiction, category: suspense & thriller | military fiction | audiobooks.

Jun 07, 2022 | ISBN 9780307961303 | ISBN 9780307961303 --> Buy

Jun 07, 2022 | 769 Minutes | ISBN 9780593591970 --> Buy

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A Secret About a Secret by Peter Spiegelman

Jun 07, 2022 | ISBN 9780307961303

Jun 07, 2022 | ISBN 9780593591970

769 Minutes

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About A Secret About a Secret

A hypnotic literary mystery thriller about a murder at a secluded research facility and the secrets that it exposes. • “Cyber thievery, lust, corporate espionage, and a host of deleterious secrets comprise the chords of this sweeping, riveting symphony. A bold and original thriller by a masterful storyteller.” —Elizabeth Brundage, author of The Vanishing Point Looming high above the cliffside along a remote coastline, Ondstrand House is the headquarters of the shadowy biotech firm Ondstrand Biologic. When the body of the organization’s most gifted young scientist, Allegra Stans, is discovered in a walk-in refrigerator—her neck has been broken—Agent Myles is called in to investigate. Myles works for Standard Division, the most feared element of a vast state security apparatus, and he’s been dispatched to the brooding manor, a massive stone campus that once housed a notorious boarding school, to do what Standard Division agents do best—complete the task at hand. As his investigation proceeds, Myles discovers that “gifted scientist” is only one thread in the complicated fabric of Allegra’s life. There are darker strands as well—of ambition, manipulation, and bitter grievance—all woven into a pattern of secrets, each presenting a reasonable motive for murder. It appears everyone has something to hide, including Allegra’s colleagues, lovers, and former lovers—even the very halls of Ondstrand House itself. Questions continue to pile up: What interest does Standard Division, an organization best known for intelligence gathering and clandestine international operations, have in this seemingly straightforward case? Could the killing have anything to do with the sprawling estate’s sordid past? And what, exactly, is this research facility researching? Before long, another murder is discovered, and Myles finds himself an increasingly unwelcome presence in an ever more hostile landscape with few allies and fewer answers.

Listen to a sample from A Secret About a Secret

Also by peter spiegelman.

About Peter Spiegelman

PETER SPIEGELMAN is the author of Black Maps, which won the 2004 Shamus Award for Best First P.I. Novel; Death’s Little Helpers; Red Cat; Thick as Thieves; and Dr. Knox. He lives in Connecticut.

Product Details

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“A murder mystery—stylishly penned, meteorologically moody and ever so slightly Gothic. . . . Spiegelman can mint a crisp image in a single sentence. . . . Whether the book heralds the beginning of a new series or not, it’s a humdinger.” —Tom Nolan, The Wall Street Journal “[A] refreshingly inventive take on the crime novel. From the Gothic undertones of the scandal-racked boarding school and the slick machinations of modern corporate espionage, to the Scandinoir atmosphere of the bleak coastal towns and the techno-thriller details of what exactly Ondstrand Biologic is capable of doing, this novel effectively melds various strands of detective fiction to create something fresh and original. . . . I hope this is merely the first in a series, as Myles is a tremendously engaging, intelligent hero I definitely want to read more about, and the speculative setting is ripe for further exploration.” — Criminal Element “Spiegelman’s magical writing invites a deeper connection both with the landscape of this unusual police procedural and with the grim sense of despair that the security force, known simply as Standard Division, can evoke through its enormous power. . . . Spiegelman’s plotting and pace are flawless, and his interludes of heightened language raise the tension. . . . A Secret About a Secret resonates with the deep melancholy and simmering resentments that classic hard-boiled detective fiction embraces, but with far more grace and beauty. There are passages that can haunt, all on their own. . . . This all adds up to the one complaint likely for this compelling novel: Somehow, it ends too soon” — New York Journal of Books “Peter Spiegelman has always been about intricate plotting, and [ A Secret About a Secret ] is no different. Only this time, he’s added another level.” — Northwest Indiana Times “Spiegelman is a top-notch storyteller, and his latest will appeal equally to those who enjoy mainstream procedurals and to genre-blending readers who relish crime novels set in the future.” — Booklist “In his astonishing new novel, set in an ambiguous future, Peter Spiegelman unpacks a murder at an elite research facility with an ominous history, navigating an elusive frontier of scientific innovation where intellectual property is its most coveted currency. Cyber thievery, lust, corporate espionage, and a host of deleterious secrets comprise the chords of this sweeping, riveting symphony. A bold and original thriller by a masterful storyteller. —Elizabeth Brundage, author of The Vanishing Point “In A Secret About a Secret , Peter Spiegelman has written a cool, stylish, state-of-the-art thriller that suits our moment perfectly. Fans of Scandinavian crime shows and well-crafted American mystery fiction will come away more than satisfied. Highly recommended.” —Peter Blauner, Edgar Award winner and New York Times bestselling author of The Intruder and Sunrise Highway “Peter Spiegelman has an extraordinary ability to conjure vivid characters and places with a few perfectly-chosen words. In A Secret About a Secret , he puts that skill to the service of creating a world that is not quite ours (not yet anyway). I couldn’t put this book down and was rooting for Myles, its narrator, even while I was a tiny bit horrified at his role in a world that itself is more than a tiny bit horrifying.” —SJ Rozan, bestselling author of Family Business

Author Q&A

Q: Was there a particular event or idea that was the genesis of A SECRET ABOUT A SECRET? A: It started with the pandemic and a poem. When the pandemic began in March of 2020 it upended everything. Like a lot of people then, I had no idea what was coming, but it was clear that it would be big and that it would be with us for a while (little did I know!). The ambient anxiety—about the health and safety of loved ones, about the uncertain future of a country and a world that seemed to have shifted gears from the usual slow-motion car-wreck to something faster and more determined—was hard to escape. Well down the list of COVID disruptions was a book I was writing at the time but couldn’t finish (more on that below). And so—without a project to work on, and with anxiety wrapped around me like the world’s worst blanket—I turned where I often do when things are unsettled: to poetry. It’s where I started as a writer, and where I go when I need to recharge my writing batteries. On March 23, 2020, I wrote: The road was long and secret: a tunnel of trees that leaned overhead, joined fingers, wept like mourners in the wind. It ran under iron skies, past fallow fields and the stones of ragged walls. It ran past a farmhouse, dark and empty and through a stone village with few lit windows and no signs that named it. It ran on then toward the coast, and even in the hermetic card I smelled salt and rotting seaweed. I played around with those lines for a day or so, thinking for a while that they might be the start of a prose poem, but by the next day, I knew they were the start of a story. By the day after that, I knew they were the start of a novel and I’d written the first chapter. A year later, I finished the book. Q: This novel is set in no specific place at no specific time. Sometimes it seems in the present, and sometimes a sort of dystopian near future. Why did you decide on this ambiguity of time and place? A: One of the countless things the pandemic derailed was the sequel to my last novel, DR. KNOX. That story was set in the very real world of downtown Los Angeles and had as a protagonist a doctor who ran a street clinic there. By March of 2020, it was clear to me that the pandemic would upend the world of that story in ways I couldn’t begin to predict, and that would take months even to take shape. Which left me kind of stuck in that book—unable to go on because its setting longer existed. I received suggestions that I should just pretend the pandemic wasn’t happening and keep on writing as if Knox’s world were unchanged, but to me that seemed like writing about a parallel universe—science fiction. Which, after I thought about it awhile, began to seem like an interesting idea—a way to escape the uncertainties of the pandemic, in both plot and personal terms. But an imagined parallel Los Angeles seemed somehow too small. If I was going to create an alternate world, why not go big? When I wrote the first lines, and then the first chapter of what became A SECRET ABOUT A SECRET, they suggested a world that wasn’t quite our own—a place without our pandemic, without our geography, national boundaries, politics or history, and with a decidedly gothic vibe. Fifteen degrees off of our world, my editor called it. Building an alternate world was a challenge, but it was also a liberating experience that changed my thinking about setting in a novel. And the opportunity to inhabit another reality every time I sat down to work was, given our actual world, both a relief and a tremendous luxury. Q: Why did you decide on a former boarding school repurposed into a secret research facility as your setting? A: I went to boarding schools from seventh grade through the end of high school, and as a result I find few places creepier. Not that all the schools I went to were creepy. One was, one was decidedly not (in fact, it was great), and one was more or less a violent hellscape. But, because they were all institutions, they had in common a fixation with their own mythologized pasts, histories that were at once quite present and palpable—in the very bones of those places—and at the same time quite mysterious-seeming (at least to my young self). These institutions were much on my mind when I imagined Ondstrand House and its incarnations. Q: How exactly would you describe Standard Division and the job Myles does for them? A: In the nameless land of A SECRET ABOUT A SECRET, the security state looms large, and the dull-sounding Division of Security Standards—otherwise known as Standard Division—is the most powerful and feared element of a vast apparatus. It has the widest of mandates, including intelligence, counterintelligence, domestic security, and special operations—a hybrid of the CIA, the FBI, and the old OSS, with maybe a bit of NSA thrown in. But unlike those agencies (we hope!), Standard Division operates with little accountability or oversight—as a law unto itself. Myles is an experienced Standard Division field agent—the sharp end of a formidable spear, selected and trained from a young age for dangerous work. Field agents are known for chilly efficiency (described as “half management consultant, half assassin,” and “warrior-monks of the security state”) and operate with broad latitude in fulfilling their missions. When we first meet him, though, Myles himself is not entirely clear on why he has been dispatched to Ondstrand House. “[T]o examine, to investigate, to discover, to take a confession, to punish or simply to bear witness? I was authorized to do all of these, though I wondered lately about my qualifications for any of them. If nostalgia was called for perhaps, or distraction, equivocation, worry, longing or bone weariness, then I might be useful. But in all these years, my masters had never sought such things from me, and I didn’t think this Saturday in March would be the first time.” Investigator, enforcer, good soldier, weary doubter—Myles is something of a hybrid himself. Q: What drew you to the idea of genetic engineering and cyber theft? Do you think about how crimes of the future may increasingly permeate such fields? A: In my career before writing, I worked in financial technology, and I remain a science and technology geek— endlessly fascinated by the intersection of tech and society, and with how reliably we apply our immense engi- neering cleverness to the service of some of our worst impulses. As night follows day, once we have a new technology, we will invent ways to weaponize it or, at a minimum, build some engaging shell games around it. I suppose it’s comforting to know we can always count on some things. Q: Did you do any specific research for this novel? A: Living through a pandemic has made us all amateur virologists, I suppose, but I did do some specific research into firms (and there are a number of them) like my fictional Ondstrand Biologic, that design and develop genetic therapies and related infrastructure, and into some of the tools they use. Another strand of background research included a deep dive into the story of Theranos and of its founder, Elizabeth Holmes. It’s a sad, crazy saga, and there are some excellent books and podcasts on the topic, including the wonderful reporting of John Carreyrou for The Wall Street Journal and his book Bad Blood. (Truth be told, I was following this story before I started writing A SECRET ABOUT A SECRET—between the tech, the finance, the fraud and the driven, charismatic, self-invented figure at the center of it all—it was solidly in my wheelhouse.) Q: While it’s set in the very modern headquarters of a biotech company, this novel also harkens back to the wonderful locked room mysteries of Agatha Christie. Are these an interest of yours? A: I do enjoy locked-room puzzles (and Christie too), but I’m an even bigger fan of country house mysteries—in which murder occurs in an isolated setting (the country house), and a mysterious stranger (the investigator) arrives to set things right. Christie wrote these too, but for me the master of the subgenre is P.D. James. I love her Adam Dalgliesh books, the settings she establishes (the remote locales, the hermetic institutional communities, the secret histories, an array of fraught relationships), and the way her investigator falls, like a stone in a pond, into the midst of it all. Those books are high on my list of comfort reading, and I tried to channel something of that vibe in A SECRET ABOUT A SECRET. Q: What is next for you? Will we see more of Myles? A: Right now I’m in the midst of writing the next Myles novel, so we will definitely see more of him!

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Why I Kept My Kinks a Secret

F or the past decade, while I worked on a novel, I clung to a lie. On most days, I recited this lie, out loud, as if praying, hoping to relax the panic that held me in its grip for much of that time, and still hasn’t let me go. It kept me writing, the lie, though it’s about to fall apart. I’ll let no one read this book, I told myself. It’s still what I’m saying. I’m writing this just days before the novel will publish. I think of that fact, which is inexorable, and panic’s harsh grip closes tight again.

I’ve spoken with friends and, at times, in public about this novel-incited panic. If asked what I’m afraid of, I’ve offered multiple explanations, all of which are true, fine, but partial. For one thing, Exhibit explores plural kinds of desire, including physical longing, much of it queer; having grown up Korean, Catholic, and evangelical, I can’t quite escape the triple helping of lust-prohibiting shame and guilt I’ve known since I was a child. I’ve left religion, but the old edicts have proved hard to forget. In addition, the book is peopled with fictional artists, most of them women, aiming high with their work: they’re fired by large ambitions. So am I. It can feel as though, just by divulging this, I’m inviting peril. (Isn’t the phrase “ambitious woman” code for “unlikable woman,” a friend once said; I asked if it was even a code.) Plus, one woman in Exhibit isn’t being faithful to her loving husband; a couple of the artists refuse to be parents. It’s as if I made a list of boxes a person might tick to explain why a woman ought to be disliked, perhaps despised, and then, writing this novel, I filled in each box.

I’m stalling again, though, as I have my whole life, finding it all but physically impossible to put words to it , a longing I depict in the pages most adept at provoking bona fide panic. In truth, the principal origin of my anxiety, the thing that can trap me inside hours-long fits of gasping, crying, and the false if no less potent belief I might be dying, has to do with a word I haven’t yet said here: kink.

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This isn’t my first time writing or talking about kink—in 2021, my friend Garth Greenwell and I co-edited and published a bestselling short-fiction anthology titled, well, Kink . To support that book’s publication, I also wrote essays refuting prevalent, harmful beliefs about kink, fallacies about it being abusive, malign to women, an illness requiring a cure; I spoke about kink for print, audio, the internet, and during panels and readings.

But in that deluge of words, I didn’t let slip a thing about my own proclivities. I kept the language general, usually plural: I referred to some people, many people, to groups, subcultures, communities. If I felt obliged to be specific, I alluded to what one might want. I turned fluent in talking about kink while eliding the personal; at least a few readers caviled that, as far as they could tell, I’d thought up and co-edited an anthology that spotlit kink despite having no interest in it apart from the fictional. It was, I felt certain, what I required: to hide. Or, that is, to publish the book, but while I stayed veiled in fiction’s opacities, a disguise integral to the form. I relied on Ronald Barthes’s motto, larvatus prodeo: I advance pointing to my mask.

Now, though, I’ve written an entire novel told from the position of a queer Korean American woman artist who, along with her other desires, pines to explore kink. People, I’m aware, will suspect me, a queer Korean American woman artist, of having lifted the book’s events in full from my life.

Even so, I might persist in hiding. It’s still fiction, after all. And isn’t it enough, or so I’ve thought, that I’ve told the world I’m queer? I love being queer; it’s also true that queerness is judged to be an illness by a lot of Koreans both diasporic and mainland. Not long ago—for much of Korea’s Joseon period, which lasted from 1392 to 1910—the law ordained that a Korean woman could be divorced for “excessive” talking, a so-called sin. Expelled, fending for herself, the divorced woman risked dying, a hazard my body has perhaps not forgotten, though here I am, talking about, of all things, sex. Queer sex, at that. But it’s possible this rigid mask, the passed-down fiats, aren’t helping me, let alone the writing, as much as I thought.

Kink is a large, shifting term, with outlines etched less by what it is than is not, this single word applied to an ever-changing negative space. Lina Dune , a prominent kink writer and podcaster, defines kink as any sexual act or practice diverging “one tiny step outside of what you were brought up to believe is acceptable.” So, bondage, sadomasochism, fetishes, and role play are examples of kinks, and these aren’t fringe penchants. By some measures, 40% to 70% of people might be kinky ; given the stigma, this estimate could be on the low end.

For me, kink entails playing with control. Stated, explicit power dynamics; intense physical sensations, including pain; rules—these pursuits are so crucial to my body’s understanding of sex that, in their absence, lust also goes missing. It isn’t optional, a bit of pep to add on top of the chief act. Hence, sex lacking all signs of kink isn’t quite, in any personally significant sense of the word, sex. I’ve known this to be true as far back as I can recall desiring; for about as long, I believed I should keep it quiet, that I’d be thought aberrant, wrong, for craving as I did, the yes of desire paired with this I can’t . Friends spoke about lust in ways I found puzzling, alien. To be safe, I nodded. I feigned being like them. First kisses, initial forays into sexual activity: none of it felt fulfilling, and still, I played along.

Read More: How Celibate Women Became a Threat

It wasn’t until I met the person who’d become my husband that, months into dating, with great trouble, I began trying to explain. Since kink figures as central a role in who I am as being queer, a woman, Korean, a person, a living being, I had to give him the chance, I thought, to run.

So what, one might ask. Kink is visible, in public, even stylish, to an extent I didn’t think possible while I was growing up, and kink-specific gathering places exist both online and, at least in big cities, in person. No one wishing to fulfill a desire for kink who is also in possession of a phone needs to be afraid, as I used to be, of lifelong failure. People mention kink in social-media bios, in dating profiles. In the milieus I inhabit, full of writers, editors, and artists all tilting left, to kink-shame—to deride a person’s kink—is itself often judged passé, risible. Why, then, as I write this, are my hands shaking, as though my very fingers are urging me to stop, to go back into hiding?

It wasn’t long ago that being pulled to kink was classed as being disordered. Until 2013, sadomasochism, along with fetishism, was pathologized as a mental illness in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or the DSM—a ruling with legal implications for jobs, parental rights. While kink is depicted more than it used to be in popular culture, it’s still so often tied to grave psychic damage, evil, or both that there’s a futile, tiring game I play: if a character in film or television is, say, a serial killer, an appalling villain, I track how long it takes until they’re shown engaging in kink. It can take just five, ten minutes before I’m proven right again.

Read More: Sex Changes as We Age. Let's Embrace That

It’s thus no surprise that lies about kink run wild. On the first day of the anthology Kink’s release, which, again, was a brief three years ago, the most indignant replies came from writers and editors I’d never met arguing that kink is abusive, misogynist, disordered. (Briefly, for anyone fresh to this dispute: a bright, wide line divides even the most physically rough kink from abuse—the giving and negotiating of explicit, detailed consent—and though some people do gain healing through kink, it has no more of a requisite etiology than do other kinds of sexuality.) In my own, less parochial circles, it’s still not unusual for people to question what the purpose of a fictional character’s kink might be, why it’s there, as though it has to be willed, optional, and not, as it is for me, vital.

If otherwise well-educated adults find kink confusing, it’s no wonder that youths might, too. Per a recent survey of 5,000 college students in the Midwest, conducted by Debby Herbenick, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, two-thirds of the women said they’d been choked by a partner during sex. While a longing for sexual asphyxiation is possible, and does fall under kink’s rubric, it’s also so dangerous that many kink aficionados consider it entirely off limits. One can’t safely choke a person; lasting damage can result, up to and including death. In the study, women spoke of partners choking them without having obtained consent ahead of time, a flouting of essential, first-priority kink practices.

Kink, as Dune says, isn’t about one person forcing their will on another: instead, it’s “an ongoing conversation, a collaboration between consenting equals.” Preludial talk of desires, limits; figuring out where there is and isn’t overlap; deciding on safewords; finding ways to check in along the way; segueing from a sexual encounter into aftercare, which folds in activities that can include talking about what took place, to bring oneself back to a less charged state—all this, too, is part of kink.

For a lot of people, kink can be a less bewildering landscape to navigate than more orthodox types of sex. In lieu of abiding by fixed scripts of what sex ought to be, one listens to one’s individual body, following and articulating what’s desired. Zoë Peterson, a scientist and clinical psychologist who directs the Kinsey Institute’s Sexual Assault Initiative, notes that, with the U.S.’s dearth of sex education, some people might never be asked, “What do you like and not like?” It can be highly difficult for people to think about this, let alone speak it aloud, and to another person. Sex-related shame bedevils most of us, not just the kink-inclined. And so, Peterson says, she tends to “hold up the kink community as a good model of sexual-consent communication.” In other words, these consent practices can be useful to people at large.

I ask Peterson how she’d respond to a still-widespread objection to this kind of dialogue, that consent made so precise is off-putting, clinical, lacking space for abandon, spontaneity. Here, too, she says, kink communities provide a model. “I don't think anyone's like, ‘Kink isn't sexy,’” she says, with a laugh. “No one says that.”

I’m doing it again : referring to people , to one . Scientists pointing to kink as a benign model, the talk of detailed consent—it all sounds so logical, so calm that I almost forget the panic stifling each attempt I’ve ever made to voice my own desires.

But along with the pervading stigma, here’s what else I find terrifying: part of what I want, the shape of how I lust, could be mistaken as lining up with painful, absurd lies about women who look like me—that we’re docile, hypersexual, pliant, willing to be ill-used. It’s a myth distorting our histories in the U.S., codified in the 1875 Page Act , which stopped the immigration of Chinese women on the pretext that they were “immoral.” It’s also present in any number of violent acts toward Asian women, and people who present as women, including the 2021 Atlanta spa shootings , which the killer tried to explain with a so-called “sex addiction,” a concept not recognized in psychiatric literature but one many people, not excluding the media, quickly accepted as a real disease.

Both after and before the Atlanta shootings, I’ve written and spoken about injustice from the vantage point of being a Korean woman, an Asian woman. I’ve heard from thousands of Asian people, most often women, about their own experiences of racism . It was, and is, a profound honor to be trusted with such griefs. I’ve also received death threats, rape threats, as replies to what I wrote; I’ve been chased down the street by men, had my ass grabbed in bars. Less violent, but also infuriating, are the times people have fancied it’s right to tell me what to do, have assayed to push me around. None of this is special. It’s not unique, is the problem. But as a result, for a long while, I’ve tried, with how I dress, talk, and hold myself, to project what others might interpret as strength, an effort that’s felt all the more urgent as I publish words that people read.

I’m afraid that, by unveiling desires I’ve kept hidden, I’ll spoil this effort. And that, given the nature of some of what I want, I’ll add to the terrible lies about us. Might, then, get more of us hurt, killed. On the one hand, this sounds histrionic, over-the-top: it’s just a novel, I tell myself, and I’m one person. Still, the bigoted and ignorant can be so easily misled, by almost nothing. Each novel births a world. Shame, guilt then spring up: what am I, a Korean woman, doing, talking about sex at all? I should hide again, back where it’s safe.

But this, but that: the abiding panic spirals, its coil tight. In the lulls, when its grip goes slack, I’m able to trust in what else I believe about books. The solitude I used to know, when I thought I was alone with strange desires, my body wrong, abnormal—that long isolation, too, twined me with the pall of something like death. Other people’s words, books, and art, by offering kinship, pulled me free, provided a refuge. It felt salvific, finding the solitude to be an illusion: learning that even I, at least in private, could live as my full self.

Despite the panic, I did write Exhibit , a chronicle of kinky, queer, Korean American women intent on pursuing what they want. Striving to bring to the novel all the skills I possess, I hoped to claim that this, too, the it I’ve often wished gone, belongs in literature. Which is also saying it belongs, period, as do I. Our bodies aren’t wrong. If allowed the option of changing, excising kink from my body, I’d refuse. For what else could I be, and why would I want to? Kink has brought me such delight. Exhibit’s narrator, Jin Han, spends much of the novel working to move out of hiding. I’m trying to follow her there.

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What's A Wild Secret You Discovered About Your Hubby After Tying The Knot?

Now's a good time to get it off your chest.

BuzzFeed Contributor

Everyone always has a few skeletons in their closet. And when it comes to marriage, you'd like to think you know about them all — but sometimes you don't.

For those with husbands (or ex-husbands), i want to hear from you did you discover a secret about your husband only after you two tied the knot.

Anne Hathaway in a wedding dress holding a bouquet, looking to her left with a mirror in the background

Maybe your hubby finally told you about an embarrassing habit he had been hiding the entire time you were dating?

Sharon Leal and Tyler Perry standing close on a beach at night, one holding a wine glass. They are engaging in a conversation

Perhaps you found out that he cheated on you with one of your close friends or family members?

Olivier Martinez and Diane Lane in a close-up, portraying a romantic scene with a man gently holding the woman's neck

Or, maybe he was living a double life with a totally different identity and now it feels like you're living in a Lifetime movie?

Jill Scott in a robe seated on bed looking at Richard T. Jones lying beside her; both appear in a tense conversation

If this sounds like something that's happened to you, now's your chance to tell your story.

Rachel McAdams in a sleeveless dress and Channing Tatum in a suit at a table dining together

Share the secret you discovered in the comments or submit anonymously using this Google form . Your response might be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!

Share this article.

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Secret Hamas Files Show How It Spied on Everyday Palestinians

Hamas monitored political activity, online posts, and apparently even love lives. Palestinians were stuck between an Israeli blockade and a repressive security force.

Share full article

A crowd with green banners, a Palestinian flag streaming above them.

By Adam Rasgon and Ronen Bergman

Adam Rasgon reported from Jerusalem, and Ronen Bergman from Tel Aviv.

The Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar has for years overseen a secret police force in Gaza that conducted surveillance on everyday Palestinians and built files on young people, journalists and those who questioned the government, according to intelligence officials and a trove of internal documents reviewed by The New York Times.

The unit, known as the General Security Service, relied on a network of Gaza informants, some of whom reported their own neighbors to the police. People landed in security files for attending protests or publicly criticizing Hamas. In some cases, the records suggest that the authorities followed people to determine if they were carrying on romantic relationships outside marriage.

Hamas has long run an oppressive system of governance in Gaza, and many Palestinians there know that security officials watch them closely. But a 62-slide presentation on the activities of the General Security Service, delivered only weeks before the Oct. 7 attack on Israel, reveals the degree to which the largely unknown unit penetrated the lives of Palestinians.

The documents show that Hamas leaders, despite claiming to represent the people of Gaza, would not tolerate even a whiff of dissent. Security officials trailed journalists and people they suspected of immoral behavior. Agents got criticism removed from social media and discussed ways to defame political adversaries. Political protests were viewed as threats to be undermined.

Everyday Gazans were stuck — behind the wall of Israel’s crippling blockade and under the thumb and constant watch of a security force. That dilemma continues today, with the added threat of Israeli ground troops and airstrikes.

“We’re facing bombardment by the occupation and thuggery by the local authorities,” Ehab Fasfous, a journalist in the Gaza Strip who appeared in the files of the General Security Service, said in a phone interview from Gaza.

Mr. Fasfous, 51, is labeled in one report as among “the major haters of the Hamas movement.”

The documents were provided to The Times by officials in Israel’s military intelligence directorate, who said they had been seized in raids in Gaza.

Reporters then interviewed people who were named in the files. Those people recounted key events, confirmed biographical information and, in Mr. Fasfous’s case, described interactions with the authorities that aligned with the secret files. The documents reviewed by The Times include seven intelligence files ranging from October 2016 to August 2023. The military intelligence directorate said it was aware of files containing information on at least 10,000 Palestinians in Gaza.

The General Security Service is formally part of the Hamas political party but functions like part of the government. One Palestinian individual familiar with the inner workings of Hamas, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter, confirmed that the service was one of three powerful internal security bodies in Gaza. The others were Military Intelligence, which typically focuses on Israel, and the Internal Security Service, an arm of the Interior Ministry.

Basem Naim, a spokesman for Hamas, said the people responsible for the General Security Service were unreachable during the war.

With monthly expenses of $120,000 before the war with Israel, the unit comprised 856 people, records show. Of those, more than 160 were paid to spread Hamas propaganda and launch online attacks against opponents at home and abroad. The status of the unit today is unknown because Israel has dealt a significant blow to Hamas’s military and governing abilities.

The Israeli intelligence authorities believe that Mr. Sinwar directly oversaw the General Security Service, according to three Israeli intelligence officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter publicly. They said the slide show was prepared for Mr. Sinwar personally, though they did not say how they knew that.

The presentation said that the General Security Service works to protect Hamas’s people, property and information, and to support its leadership’s decision-making.

Some slides focused on the personal security of Hamas leaders. Others discussed ways to stamp out protests, including the “We Want to Live” demonstrations last year that criticized power shortages and the cost of living. Security officials also tracked operatives from Palestinian Islamic Jihad, an ideologically aligned militant group that often partners with Hamas.

Some tactics, like amplifying Hamas’s own message, appeared to be routine politicking. In other instances, officials suggested using intelligence to undermine opponents and distort their reputations, though the files were vague about how that was to be done.

“Undertaking a number of offensive and defensive media campaigns to confuse and influence adversaries by using private and exclusive information,” the document read.

Security officers stopped Mr. Fasfous on his way to a protest last August, seized his phone and ordered him to leave, a report says. Mr. Fasfous confirmed that two plainclothes officers had approached him. The authorities searched his recent calls, and wrote that he was communicating with “suspicious people” in Israel.

“We advise that closing in on him is necessary because he’s a negative person who is full of hatred, and only brings forth the Strip’s shortcomings,” the document said.

The most frustrating thing, Mr. Fasfous said, was that the officers used his phone to send flirtatious messages to a colleague. “They wanted to pin a moral violation on me,” he said.

The report does not include that detail but does describe ways to “deal with” Mr. Fasfous. “Defame him,” the report said.

“If you’re not with them, you become an atheist, an infidel and a sinner,” Mr. Fasfous said. He acknowledged supporting protests and criticizing Hamas online, but said the people he was in touch with in Israel were Palestinians who owned food and clothing companies. He said he helped run their social media accounts.

The General Security Service’s goals are similar to those of security services in countries like Syria that have used secret units to quell dissent. The files of the General Security Service, though, mention tactics like censorship, intimidation and surveillance rather than physical violence.

“This General Security Service is just like the Stasi of East Germany,” said Michael Milshtein, a former Israeli military intelligence officer specializing in Palestinian affairs. “You always have an eye on the street.”

Palestinians in Gaza live in fear and hesitate to express dissent, analysts said.

“There are a lot of people practicing self-censorship,” said Mkhaimar Abusada, a professor of political science from Gaza City. “They just don’t want problems with the Hamas government.”

That view clashes with the most strident comments of Israel’s leaders, like President Isaac Herzog, who blamed Gazans for not toppling Hamas before the Oct. 7 attacks.

“There’s an entire nation that is responsible,” he said . “This rhetoric about civilians were not aware, not involved, it’s absolutely not true. They could have risen up.”

The General Security Service, the files show, also tried to enforce a conservative social order.

In December 2017, for example, the authorities investigated a tip that a woman was acting immorally with a man who owned a clothing shop. A security report noted that she visited the shop for an hour on one day, then more than two hours the next. The report presented no evidence of wrongdoing, but proposed that “relevant parties” address the matter.

An October 2016 report described young men and women performing unspecified “immoral acts” at a Palestine Liberation Organization office in Khan Younis at night. Hamas sees the Palestine Liberation Organization as a compromised entity, whose leader too often favors Israeli interests. The report offered no evidence of misdeeds but recommended summoning a man who claimed to be in possession of videos and pictures.

The files also show that Hamas was suspicious of foreign organizations and journalists.

When Monique van Hoogstraten, a Dutch reporter, visited a protest encampment along the border with Israel in April 2018, the authorities noted the most banal of details. They noted the make and model of her car and her license plate number. They said she took pictures of children and tried to interview an elderly woman. Ms. van Hoogstraten confirmed the reporting trip in an interview with The Times.

The file recommended further “reconnaissance” on journalists.

None of the files reviewed by The Times were dated after the start of the war. But Mr. Fasfous said the government remained interested in him.

Early in the war, he said he took images of security forces hitting people who fought over spots in line outside a bakery. The authorities confiscated his camera.

Mr. Fasfous complained to a government official in Khan Younis, who told him to stop reporting and “destabilizing the internal front,” Mr. Fasfous recalled.

“I told him I was reporting on the truth and that the truth won’t hurt him, but that fell on deaf ears,” he said. “We can’t have a life here as long as these criminals remain in control.”

Adam Rasgon reports from Israel for The Times's Jerusalem bureau. More about Adam Rasgon

Ronen Bergman is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine, based in Tel Aviv. His latest book is “Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel’s Targeted Assassinations,” published by Random House. More about Ronen Bergman

Our Coverage of the Israel-Hamas War

News and Analysis

The International Criminal Court prosecutor requested arrest warrants for the leaders of Hamas and for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel.

Benny Gantz, a centrist member of Israel’s war cabinet, presented Netanyahu with an ultimatum , saying he would leave the government if it did not soon develop a plan for the future of the war in Gaza.

At least 64,000 Gazans have been displaced from the northern town of Jabaliya as Israel’s military launched a new offensive there .

Demanding New Leadership: Some reservists in the Israel Defense Forces, who have returned home from war, have joined the growing calls within Israel for Netanyahu and his right-wing coalition to step aside.

Gaza’s Wartime Economy: In the seven months since Israel started bombarding Gaza, the enclave’s economy has been crushed. In its place, a marketplace of survival has arisen focused on the basics .

Protest in Brooklyn: A large pro-Palestinian protest in Brooklyn erupted into a chaotic scene , as the police arrested dozens of demonstrators and at times confronted them violently.

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